[As the screen fades up from black, a low, intense pulsing beat is heard. As the beat surges and subsides, stark images of the IIWF's empty ring surrounded by fifteen foot steel walls, illuminated only by the brilliant white spotlights in the rigging above the ring, fade in and out of view.] VO: The wrestling ring -- a gladiatorial arena where the best athletes in the world pit their skills against one another in pursuit of gold and glory. The canvas can be unforgiving, but not as unforgiving as walls of steel, caging the combatants and forcing them to fight for their lives. [Monochrome footage of Deathbringer and the White Phoenix performing their trademark manoeuvres in slow motion is overlaid:] VO: The dark destroyer of the IIWF, Deathbringer, meets the fiery White Phoenix, one on one, inside the steel cage. [Footage of the Players' Club and the Prophets of Rage is overlaid:] VO: The Age of Rage hits the IIWF as the Prophets of Rage face the Players' Club. [Footage of the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi and Tiger Claw is overlaid:] VO: The Cruiserweight Championship is on the line as the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi battles three-time former Intercontinental Champion Tiger Claw. [Footage of Marty Warnett and Steve "the Fury" Kowalski is overlaid:] VO: Steve "the Fury" Kowalski gets his long-awaited rematch with Marty Warnett in an effort to take back the Intercontinental Championship. [Footage of Dan Kauffman performing the Neverland inverse DDT and "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare performing the Curtain Call on an opponent is overlaid:] VO: And an old score will be settled. Former IIWF World Heavyweight Champion Dan Kauffman faces former Cruiserweight and Intercontinental Champion "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare inside the steel cage. Their first encounter was inconclusive: [Monochrome footage of Kauffman battling Shakespeare on June 15, 1996: Kauffman rolls Billy back into the ring, and applies his Falcon Leglock on him in the centre of the ring. The referee carefully watches Billy's reactions, but although he is agonised, he refuses to submit. On the outside, androgynous former IIWF superstar Moondust seems to rummage around in his tights, and then throws a cloud of grey dust in Kauffman's eyes. Kauffman is blinded by the dust, and the referee signals for the timekeeper to end the match. Ding! Ding! Ding!] VO: The unwanted advances of an admirer robbed both athletes of the knowledge of just who is the best. Now, eight months on, both athletes have touched the highs and the lows in the IIWF. Both athletes have achieved success and both have suffered setbacks. But neither man can say that on that night back in June, the better man won. Tonight, inside the cold walls of the steel cage, Dan Kauffman and Billy Shakespeare will lock up once more. Tonight, on... [The opening graphics explode onto the screen as the introductory music kicks in:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== S + A + T + U + R + D + A + Y N + I + G + H + T ____ ___ ______ ___ ___ ______ \ \ /\ / _ \ \ __ | / _ \ /\ / _ \ \ __ | | |\ | / \ | / \_\| | \| | / \_\ / \ | / \_\| | \| | |/ / / /\ \ | | | |_ I + N | | / /\ \ | | | |_ | < / /__\_\| |____| _\ T + H + E | | / /__\_\| |____| _\ | |\ \ _____/ \ |\_ || | | | _/ _____/ \ |\_ || | | | \ \ \ \\_/ /| |_/| | \_/ // \ \\_/ /| |_/| /_|/_\_\ /__\__/ /____| \___/_\ /__\__/ /____| ----------------------------------------------------------------- + LiVE + IIWF Coliseum + Portland, Oregon + + 8 February 1997 + ----------------------------------------------------------------- [The opening graphics fade through to interior shots of the packed IIWF Coliseum. Fireworks explode high in the rafters as the twenty thousand-strong capacity crowd cheer in their excitement. The IIWF logo spins on the canvas of the ring, and coloured spotlights swirl over the sea of fans. The shot pans down past row upon row of fans, both young and old, and finally comes to rest on the broadcast table in the ringside enclosure, at which stand Tim Dross, in his standard IIWF suit, and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, wearing a Ring Wars III t-shirt and jacket.] TD: Welcome to the IIWF Coliseum, here in Portland, Oregon, for a night of IIWF action like no other. Welcome everybody to a very special edition of IIWF Saturday Night! Welcome to Rage in the Cage! We have six incredible steel cage matches scheduled for tonight's event, with three of the IIWF's four championships on the line! I'm Tim Dross, and beside me, as always, is my broadcast colleague, "Soundbite" Steve Roberts. SR: As usual, the pleasure is all yours, Dross. I am totally pumped for tonight's card, Timbo. We're going to see blood, broken bones, blood, brutal beatings... did I mention that we're gonna see some blood? TD: Yes, Steve, you did. Try to contain yourself. Be warned, folks, tonight's action is coming at you live, uncensored and uncut. Steel cage matches are among the most dangerous in the world of wrestling, and injuries are common. Steel is harder than flesh, Steve Roberts. SR: Yeah, it sure is, Dross... I can't wait. TD: We've also got some more traditional wrestling action coming up here tonight. Chris Quigley has put his spot in the main event at Ring Wars III on the line against "Sychosys" Joe Petrow in a special Quickstrike Challenge match -- in which the winner only has to score a one-count on his opponent! SR: What the hell was Quigley thinking when he signed this match, Dross? He can kiss his shot at Kauffman goodbye. TD: It's a match that could easily go either way, Steve, and Quigley will have to be on his guard against Petrow's sneaky tactics. We're also going to see the Subway Psycho and Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven finally put an end to their feud with one last match... SR: ...and this one's for $300,000! Three hundred grand, Dross! That's almost as much as I make in a week from my insurance policy! TD: This is the largest winning purse in IIWF history, folks, although I don't think either the Psycho or Verhoeven is fighting for the cash. Their duspute has gone on long enough, and both men are adamant that tonight's encounter will be the last word. SR: Enough already on the boring matches, Dross. The cage! Blood! TD: Fans, we're going to see action like you've never seen before here tonight. The crowd here is absolutely pumped -- and even the wrestlers are excited enough to be out here in the stands with the other fans. [Cut to a shot of Edmund Fitzgerald, one half of newcomer tag team, Cold Spell, seated about ten rows back from the crowd barriers. He is pestered by fans, and he absently signs autographs.] SR: Where's that nutty Scandinavian partner of his, Dross? TD: I have no idea where Icehawk is, Steve, but Fitz wants to take a close look at the action here tonight -- and with good reason. Our main event is the longest-awaited rematch in IIWF history -- Dan Kauffman and Billy Shakespeare will reprise their classic encounter from last June inside a steel cage right here tonight! SR: Great, so I can go home early! I couldn't care less about that match! TD: We're also going to be hearing live from the IIWF President, Dan Spreadbury, right here tonight with announcements not only regarding Ring Wars III, but also the rumoured secondary tag team championship. SR: Yeah, like we care. Ol' Dictator Danny can shove those belts up his... TD: [interrupting] Hang on, Steve -- [the crowd pop as three figures make their way down the aisle] Here come Domination! SR: Have these guys finally wised up? It was great seeing them knock seven shades of sh... TD: [interrupting] Steve, I know you're excited about the cage matches here tonight, but can you please try and keep a civil tongue in your mouth? [Mistress makes her way to the ring, flanked by "Perfect" Dani Jarvier and Monster. They seem to be walking with anger, and the crowd are booing as Jarvier and Monster push away fans trying to get a touch of them. Mistress climbs into the ring and begins to speak as small portions of the crowd continue to jeer her and her team.] TD: [over the headset] Let's hear what she has to say. MI: Shut up! All of you! Listen up and listen up good, for your sakes and the sake of every other wrestler in the IIWF. We're not going to have our image tarnished by the likes of Rising Sun Revolution and the IIWF crew. And we're not going to rest until this is sorted. Monster, tell them. MO: Roooaarrgghhhh. Roaaaarrghhh. DJ: What the big guy is trying to say is that the tension between Rising Sun Revolution and Domination has been building for a long time. They've been getting in the way of us winning titles, and constantly refused us title shots when they were the champions. MI: We covered their backs, we saved them so many times, and not once has this been recognised. Not once have we been thanked. MO: Raaargghhh. DJ: You're right big guy, it doesn't end there. Not by a long shot. Yeah, you may have all seen me push Ryudu, you may have seen me take exception to his comments -- after all, who could call someone with my perfect physique "fat oaf"? -- but you didn't see what was happening earlier. We were training with them earlier in the day, and all I got from them was hassle. Laughing at me, making jokes about me. Well, I took all I could stand, and their joke ended up backfiring on them. If you wind me up, I'm going to spring at you full force. MI: So don't, not for one second, think that we are to blame for the unfortunate break in the friendship between Domination and Rising Sun Revolution. MO: Roooaaarrr. MI: I'm getting to that. Okay, people, you want to know the real reasons behind the tensions between Rising Sun Revolution and Domination? One name explains it -- Mr.Mic. No, we haven't signed with him -- but the Revolution have. [Heel pop!] TD: [over the headset] Fans, I don't know what to make of this... MI: It hasn't been announced yet, but it has been negotiated for a long time, and frankly, we're not happy about it at all. We don't want to be friends with any team that affiliates with the likes of Mr.Mic. If they wanted a manager, I had offered on numerous occassions. But no, they went with Mr.Mic because he had the money, and he had the attitude. [The fans give a confused pop.] TD: [over the headset] I really can't believe this, Steve. SR: [over the headset] Why not? Those Japanese immigrants are bound to sell out to the highest bidder. If they get gainfully employed as Mr.Mic's manservants, they won't have the authorities wanting to ship them back to Japan. TD: [over the headset] That's not true, and you know it. DJ: It's a sad loss for all you fans, but we're still fighting for you. And we're going to prove that tonight. We're going to fulfil our dream, and our promise, and we're going to win the World Tag Team titles from the Dark Disciples. Kane, Wulf, I am so looking forward to causing you the pain that only a wrestler trained to the ultimate extent that I have can bring. MO: Roaooaaarrr. MI: That's telling them. Dark Disciples, enjoy your remaining moments as champions, because they're going to be your very last. DJ: Dark Disciples, Domination will be your termination. [Jarvier throws the mic down and Domination head back down the aisle to a mixed pop. Fans yell questions at them about the allegiance of Rising Sun Revolution as the trio head back to the locker rooms, ignoring the fans. Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: Wow... A bombshell dropped on the tag team ranks by Domination right there, Steve Roberts. Rising Sun Revolution aren't even in the arena tonight, so we can't substantiate these claims... I really can't believe that Ryudo and Hiroshi would sell out to Mr.Mic. SR: Money talks, Dross. Just ask that sewer rat, the Subway Stinker. TD: Perhaps we'll get some clue as to the truth of the allegations we've just heard in our opening match. Mr.Mic's Pain Inc. will be battling the Zodiac Connection in a no-disqualification match, in which both Mr.Mic and Hades will be cuffed to the Armed Forces for the duration. SR: I hope Mr.Mic and Hades aren't put off by the Farces' smell. TD: The Armed Forces don't smell, Steve. SR: It's the smell of fear, Dross. They're scared of getting their tails kicked by Pain Inc. twice in one week. TD: Let's go up to the ring for tonight's opening encounter. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= NO DISQUALIFICATION: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Zodiac Connection vs. Pain Inc. ------------------------------- WRITER: DK [Sparkplug Lee takes to the ring. Just as he raises the microphone, however, "Foul Taste of Freedom" suddenly blares out over the PA system. Sparkplug looks around, confused.] TD: Oh, wait, what is this? SR: Hey, it's our new World Champ! It's Casey James! [Casey James, dressed in a tailor-made tuxedo, walks down the aisle, accompanied by two well-figured woman in slinky outfits. As the crowd gives a heel pop, Casey stops and opens the jacket of the tux, revealing that he's wearing the World title as a cummerbund. The two women pull a Vanna White, displaying the belt enthusiastically. The trio walk to the timekeeper's table, and Casey begins harassing Sparkplug Lee.] TD: What's he doing? SR: Hopefully giving Lee the beating of his life... [Casey grabs the ring microphone and cue cards from Lee. He motions to his valets to sit at the table and enters the ring. The crowd gives a solid heel pop.] CJ: Hello, ladies and gentlemen! How is everyone tonight? [Heel pop] Glad to hear it, glad to hear it. Well, tonight we have a special treat for you all... It's a little something called Rage in the Cage! [Mixed pop as some of the crowd get excited by the card] You know, there's nothing quite like a cage match. The potential for injury, the fact that it's near impossible to run away. This is sure to be a great night. Even better, though, is the fact that ring announcements will be taken care of by none other than me, your new World Heavyweight Champion! [There is a loud heel pop, and Casey is a little annoyed.] CJ: You know, I don't know why you're booing me. Since I've gotten down to business in the IIWF, I've helped get rid of a known drug addict, stamped out organized crime, taken the belt from a man who told each and every one of you to go pound sand up your asses... TD: [over the headset] We apologize for the lang.... SR: [over the headset] Shut up, Dross! The champ is talking. CJ: I should be your hero... Hell, I'm a great role model. Kids, you should look up to me. If you see me smack a guy's taste from his mouth, then you should go to school the very next day and clock some kid for no reason. Builds character. When you see me execute the Blackheart punch on some loser, you should turn to your little brother and smack him in the chest. Hell, sibling rivalry makes the world go round, right? [heel pop] Bah, forget it. Let me introduce the first match. This one will be a no DQ, no countout affair, which means that it will be great. Introducing first, the Masters of Disaster, the Ayatollas of Rock and Rolla, two guys that redefine the term "brutal," accompanied by Mr. Mic and Hades, here are Pain Incorporated! [Mr. Mic appears in the aisleway first to a substantial heel pop, then Hellraiser and Morningstar follow behind, taunting the crowd. Hades follows behind, clearly not happy at the idea of being put in handcuffs. The trio walks up and into the ring as the crowd continues its barrage.] TD: The history between these two teams is such that a stipulation in this match is forcing Hades and Mr. Mic to be handcuffed to the Armed Forces during the match! What a strange idea that is... SR: It's plain wrong. Hades and Mr. Mic both have the right to be at ringside, so why should they have to put up with this rediculous demand? CJ: Now, here's something a little weird, Mr. Mic and Hades will be cuffed to the team I will introduce next for the entire match. So here they are. These guys went from being tag champs to being a pair of boobs after they dumped Aaron the Caddy. Yeah, you know who they are... The Armed Forces! [Navcom and Defcon walk down the aisle, motioning Hades and Mr. Mic to get into the cuffs. Neither Mic nor Hades wants any part of it, but Morningstar and Hellraiser talk to the two, and afterwards, Mr. Mic and Hades reluctantly get cuffed to the Forces outside the ring. Navcom and Defcon have fun berading the two for a little bit, furiating the two, but Morningstar and Hellraiser are focusing down the aisle.] SR: Now I don't agree with Mic or Hades being handcuffed to those two military rejects, but enough is enough! TD: I think Hades and Mic are getting their just rewards here tonight, and I believe that Morningstar and Hellraiser will get theirs as well... we're ready to get underway here! CJ: And finally, introducing their opponents: a couple of guys who I believe in about as much as I believe in horoscopes, weighing in at "too small to make a difference," The Zodiac Connection! [Scorpio and Taurus appear at the head fo the aisle as their music starts to play, and both men wear t-shirts reading "FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE!". They are clearly ready for a fight, and seeing Hades and Mr. Mic handcuffed, scream down into the ring, collectively making a beeline straight for Morningstar and Hellraiser! The two teams brawl through the ring, Morningstar spinning Taurus into one corner and Hellraiser and Scorpio on the mat in center ring! Taurus is able to launch Morningstar to the outside, and follows out with him as Scorpio turns Hellraiser over and starts punching away furiously!] TD: The Zodiac Connection has come ready to fight tonight, Steve! Look at them go! SR: Don't worry, Dross. The Zodiac Connection has no chance of a win here tonight, and Pain Inc. is going to make them sorry for ever jumping them... TD: Look out, Steve! They're coming our way! [Dross and Roberts can be seen in the background as Taurus has Morningstar up across his back. Taurus rams him into the steel post back first, causing Morningstar to crumple to the mat. Mr. Mic tries to head over towards Morningstar, but being cuffed to Defcon isn't helping his cause. Taurus lugs Morningstar up again, and sends him flying into the steel steps with a clang! POP! Scorpio has Hellraiser back in a corner, and whips him to the other corner, then follows in and is met with a boot to the stomach, followed by a stiff clothesline that floors the Zodiac! But just as Hellraiser finishes the move, Taurus enters the ring and nails the Pain Inc. member with a chair right across the back, laying Hellraiser out! POP! Scorpio starts to recover, and Taurus makes the cover on Hellraiser... 1 -- 2 -- Morningstar had come into the ring, and breaks the pin attempt! Taurus imediately backs Morningstar into the corner and starts pounding away.] TD: There have allready been some unbelievable shots given and taken out in this match, and would you believe that the Zodiac Connection has been dishing them out? SR: Not for long, they won't be. Pain Inc. has their number, Dross. I just know it. [Scorpio has finally revived after the stiff clothesline he took, and sees Hellraiser still out after the chair shot. He covers, and the ref counts... 1 -- 2 -- Kickout! Hellraiser just got enough energy to excape! Taurus chops away on Morningstar, and eventually throws him outside the ring again! As Morningstar stands up, Taurus runs off the ropes, and does a cross-body block over the top rope, driving both men back and into the steel security railing! Huge pop!] TD: I don't know if either Morningstar OR Taurus will be able to get up after that move! The Zodiac Connection is stopping at nothing to try to defeat Pain Inc. here tonight! SR: Those handcuff stipulations were unfair! That should never have been put into this match! Come on, you two! TD: Yes folks, only in the IIWF can such objective announcing take place. SR: Shut it, Dross. [Inside the ring, Scorpio runs off the ropes and gets caught by a big powerslam of Hellraiser! Heel Pop! Cover... 1 -- 2 -- Kickout! Hellraiser brings Scorpio up and throws him to the outside. On one side of the ring, Morningstar and Taurus start fighting again along the railing, and on the other side, Hellraiser crashes down on Scorpio with a big double-axehandle! Hellraiser whips Scorpio towards the railing, but Scorpio reverses, then re-reverses and sends Hellraiser into the ring apron! As Hellraiser is bent over, Scorpio grabs the ring bell and clobbers Hellraiser over the head, knocking him out to a huge crowd pop! Scorpio then re-enters the ring, as Morningstar has recovered from the shot he took and rolled into the ring to excape the reviving Taurus... and backs right into a reverse DDT! Huge pop!) TD: Forget it, Steve! The Zodiac Connection has completely outdone Pain Inc. at their own game! Hellraiser is out cold on the outside, Morningstar is down in the center of the ring, and Taurus and Scorpio stand tall! SR: This doesn't look good at all... Change that, this looks REAL GOOD, Dross! Here comes the Night Patrol! [The Patrol storms the ring with a rush, and are all over the Zodiac Connection, nailing both Scorpio and Taurus numerous times with their nightsticks! Heel pop! The Zodiacs cannot withstand the barrage, and collapse in pain. The Patrol continues with the attack as trash starts flying into the ring. When The Zodiacs are completely still, the Patrol abandons the ring, pointing at the fallen Zodiacs and laughing to a huge heel pop! Trash continues to fly.] TD: I don't believe what I've just seen! The Zodiacs have just had a rightful victory go down the drain at the hands of the Night Patrol! SR: I told you, Dross. Pain Inc. simply will not be defeated tonight! TD: This is terrible! Look at Mr. Mic on the outside! He's loving it! Now it's the Armed Forces who can't believe what happened! SR: Morningstar has recovered... this is the end! [Morningstar rolls over on top of the fallen Scorpio as the ref counts... 1 -- 2 -- 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! The referee heads outside the ring to uncuff the four men, but Hellraiser and Morningstar have recovered from the shots they took, and start pounding away on the unconscious Zodiacs as trash continues to fly! The ref finally unlocks the four men, and the Armed Forces quickly slide into the ring, sending Pain Inc. flying to the outside, where they rejoin Hades and Mr. Mic and gleefully walk over to the broadcast table. Mr.Mic picks up a spare headset.] TD: Mr.Mic, what the heck are... Mr.Mic: You saw it, Dross, you all saw it. The new power in the IIWF is here. Team Brutality has arrived... and would you like to know what can be done about it? TD: No, what? Mr.Mic: Absolutely nothing! Pain Inc. and the Night Patrol are taking over. The Armed Farces and the StarGazin' Boys just received a little of what Team Brutality is going to dish out. TD: Mr.Mic, are you sure another alliance is good for Pain Inc.? I mean, look what happened with the Armed Forces. Mr.Mic: Someone get this man a doctor 'cause no one is born this stupid! Actually, Dross, look what _has_ happened to the Armed Forces tonight! The Night Patrol is a hundred times more the team than the Forces are. They're tougher, smarter, and just plain better athletes than the Army Brats. Tonight was just the beginning there's a lot more to come. But don't just take my word for it; let's let the Night Patrol have a word. [Mr.Mic turns around and motions for Pain Inc and the Night Patrol to come over to the announcer's table. Hawkings shakes Mr. Mic's hand heartily and grabs the microphone.] BH: My men were merely advancing the cause of justice tonight, aiding the innocent and punishing criminal perpetrators. In the process, Team Brutality has been formed to take care of the trash in the IIWF. [Lt. Keene shouts down at Dross.] DK: And if any lawbreakers have a problem with this, just contact Morningstar or Hellraiser for details of our "Stomp out Criminals" program. Ask 'em and find out what it means. [Mr. Mic throws down his headset, and Team Brutality head up the aisle while the Armed Forces help the Zodiac Connection to their feet.] TD: The Zodiac Connection got the short end of the stick on this one, Steve. They really took the fight to Pain Inc., and they had this match in the palm of their hands! SR: It's amazing what two nightsticks can do for a team. Pain Inc. gets the win, Dross, and that's all that matters! TD: It's a good thing the Armed Forces were here, cause who knows how much more damage Pain Inc. could have caused. SR: Well, today sure did get off to a nice start... TD: How can you say that? SR: I simply open my mouth, breathe in, then... TD: Unbelieveable... [The Armed Forces help The Zodiacs back to their feet, and the four men walk back down the aisle away from the ring as the clean-up crew goes to work.] TD: Okay, we're ready for our next match... hang on. Here comes the W & W Express. SR: Not those losers again, Dross. What is it with the tag teams here tonight? TD: We've already had Domination, Pain Inc. and Night Patrol out here, and now we have these two newcomers. [The W and W Express, "Late Night" Doug Wayne and Clark "Beach Bum" Watson, come down the aisle to the jeers of the crowd. They step into the ring and snatch the microphone away from Sparkplug Lee, shoving him to one side. Heel pop.] CW: Shut up, you fat rednecks! [pop] DW: We got something to say and you peons better listen. CW: The IIWF promoters are really trying to keep down the W & W Express. Their so-called wrestlers make me laugh. I mean, they're more like circus acts than anything else. DW: All these wrestlers are ducking us. The IIWF comes knocking on our door, saying they want some top notch tag teams. We come, and what happens? We make mince-meat out of the Night Patrol. We are done with those losers. TD: [over the headset] Er, didn't Night Patrol _beat_ these guys? SR: [over the headset] Talk about sore losers, Dross. CW: Then these suits in the head offices start trying to ignore us. They know that we're head and shoulders above the rest. They're afraid that we'll expose their wrestlers for the circus acts they really are, so they start jipping us out of matches. DW: So here's the deal. We are putting out an open contract for all you so-called wrestlers. Anybody, anytime. We are so sure of ourselves that we will put up $50,000 for anyone that can beat us. [Wayne throws the microphone to Sparkplug, who fumbles it and drops it back to the mat. Wayne and Watson leave the ring and head up the aisle, jawing with the fans. Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: I'm not sure it's fair to say that the officials have been avoiding booking matches for the W & W Express... SR: Wouldn't surprise me in the slightest, Dross. TD: Anyway, up next is our special "Quickstrike Challenge" match. Let's get some pre-taped comments from one of the combatants, Chris Quigley: [Camera closes in on "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley, leaning on a red brick wall, vandalized with black spraypaint reading, "The Best". He's wearing an unzipped black leather jacket over an otherwise naked upper body, displaying a nice set of abs and a gold ring in his bellybotton. He's also wearing faded blue jeans torn at the knee, and his wire rimmed shades. He has a mark over his eye, presumably a result of the Kurt Manning attack.] CQ: The time has come, Petrow. After months of aggravation, it's time for me to shut you up for good. In the "Quickstrike Match", one second can determine our fate for the next month or so. In all honesty, I don't know if I would recover if I lost this match. I've blown chance after chance so far, and it's usually due to outside interference. There's a price one must pay for being the best, and it's the price on my head, and it'll never change. I'm wanted by nearly everyone in the IIWF. Whether they want to shut me up, whether they want to prove themselves, or whatever. But this match will be different, Petrow. You're looking at a man who at fifty percent, could STILL beat you. But the man you're looking at isn't fifty percent... he's one hundred percent, and that's _very_ bad news for you, "Sychosys"! [Quigley starts walking to his right, down a bit further, as the word "RESPECT" appears on the wall, in black paint.] CQ: Kauffman wants to talk about respect? I know the word well. As far as I'm concerned, Kauffman didn't _give_ me anything, like some IIWF superstars might think. I've done more to earn what would have been a title shot than anyone else. But it doesn't matter if the belt is up for grabs or not. If some people think I need to earn the right to retire Dan Kauffman, than that's what I'll do. The "Quickstrike Match" is the most challenging match ever devised. You have _one second_ to recover your senses and kick out after a brutal move. Hell, it'll be 10% preperation, and 90% instinct once the bell rings. It all comes down to who's better, Petrow, and I think we both know the answer to that one. Then, once I pin Petrow's shoulders to the mat for that second that'll feel like a lifetime, it's Deathbringer. Yes, I want Deathbringer one on one before Ring Wars III. It's time to kill all the demons. Dan Kauffman will be going at a break-neck pace leading up to Ring Wars III, and I'm not one to be outdone. [smiles] Then, after I bury Deathbringer, I believe Otto Verhoeven and I have a small score to settle. Then who knows? But rest assured, by the time Ring Wars III arrives, Chris Quigley will be undeniably and undisputably _the best_! That is except for one last challenge. _The_ challenge. Dan Kauffman vs. Chris Quigley. A match that the world of pro wrestling has waited for a long, long time. The plan is set out, and eliminating Joe Petrow from the picture is the first step. I will _not_ trip up! [Quigley walks out of the picture, as the camera starts following him, but stops upon a "Quickstrike Symbol" spray painted on the wall. The camera focuses into one of the eyes on the skull, then fades to black. Cut back to ringside.] TD: Remember, Steve, the winner of this match will face Dan Kauffman at Ring Wars III. SR: Why the hell would anyone want to face Kauffman now? He's not even the champ! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= QUICKSTRIKE CHALLENGE: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley vs. "Sychosys" Joe Petrow ----------------------------------------------------- WRITER: NN [Casey "Blackheart" James steps through the ropes with the microphone. The crowd jeers him as he raises his hands to the sky. He nods in approval and laughs.] CJ: So this next match is something called a "Quickstrike match." Leave Quigley to take an idea from someone else and put his name on it. The rules are simple. The match is just like any other except that a wrestler need only pin his opponent for a one-count. The winner of this match wins the chance to meet Kauffman at Ring Wars III. Yay. This next guy is known less for his ability and more for his mouth. He claims to be better than your humble champ here, which is no surprise, since he thinks he's better than everyone in the world. Here's a hint on thr truth, though, greatness never comes from a place with a name like Cornerbrook, Newfoundland. Washington D.C, yes, but Cornerbrook, no. Well, here is the man who did _not_ win the Lethal lottery at Snow Brawl, a man who has _never_ pinned me, even though I've had the honour of putting his shoulders to the mat _twice_, a man that has _never_ held this beautiful belt that sits around my waist, here is "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley. [Quigley's music, "For Those About to Rock" plays. Fireworks erupt above the ring and there are several incandescent explosions erupt in the aisle as Quigley makes his way down to the ring. He absently slaps the hands of the cheering fans on either side of the aisle, his gaze fixed on the tuxedo-sporting ring announcer.] TD: Quigley is certainly determined, Steve Roberts. And he doesn't look too pleased with Casey James, either. SR: Like he's in a position to do anything about it, Dross. [Quigley enters the ring and removes his jacket and shades, keeping his eyes fixed on the smug looking Casey James the entire time.] CJ: And introducing next, a guy who's no big buddy of Dan Kauffman, and even less of a fan of Quigley, which makes him okay in my book, "Sychosys" Joe Petrow! ["Lithium" starts up over the PA system. Petrow enters the area, wearing blue jeans and an IIWF t-shirt. The crowd give a big heel pop, save for a small group of devotees at ringside. Petrow, however, ignores them and walks straight to the ring, and picks up a microphone with his left hand. His right is clenched in a fist.] TD: What's the deal here? He's not in any gear to wrestle in... SR: Who cares, any match with Quigley is boring. [Petrow swings at Quigley, forcing him to step back. He begins to speak.] JP: Alright, stop the music! Chris Quigley, you and the IIWF must think I'm the stupidest man alive! You don't think my Sychopaths [points to a few of them] and I don't know what's going on here? Well, I'll tell the rest of you exactly what's going on! The IIWF suits have FINALLY realized, that they've booked a pay per view main event between a has-been like Kauffman, and a never-was like you Quigley! Both of you guys have gotten your asses kicked so much lately that a match between you two has about as much appeal as Ned Norton vs El Super Gecko! So the brass comes up with this great idea to pump up the value of Chris Quigley. They say, "Hey! A victory over Joe Petrow would make his stock soar through the roof!" But they knew you couldn't get the job done normally, so they put this STUPID one-count match together! And this crap about putting your shot at Kauffman at Ring Wars on the line?! Heh. First of all Chris, I'm not like you. I don't need any special favours from anyone to get ahead in this business. I'll get Kauffman in the ring WHEN I want, and HOW I want him! And I got better things to do at Ring Wars than to waste my time with him anyway! The real reason for that stipulation is simple, Chris. Just some extra cheap heat, no risk involved, since you KNOW you're going to win this match! And I'm not talking about your confidence level here! And YOU! [points to the ref] Don't give me that innocent look, I see the hundred dollar bills falling out of your pocket, you know what I'm talking about! Because you see, there's no way in Hades the IIWF would ever allow me into the Ring Wars main event that easily, because me and the Sychopaths, we don't kiss ass that well! They tried to make a fool of Mr. Roberts over there too, and they couldn't do it! And you should damn well know that NOBODY makes a fool of Joe Petrow either! But you know what? Have it your way, Chris! You want me to give you some respect? Fine, I respect your ability to make friends that can push your journeyman ass to the top! And you want a win over me? Fine, you got that too! Make sure you tell your grandchildren how proud you were of this moment. I'm outta here! TD: What a jerk. SR: I think it's great. [Petrow begins to jaw with the crowd, to many jeers. Quigley, angered, attacks from behind. He hits Petrow in the back of the head, but Joe spins and opens his right fist, throwing a powder substance into the eyes of Quigley.] TD: Oh, man... what's this?! [Petrow delivers his Sychokick, an enzuigiri to the front of the face, sending Quigley to the floor. He grabs the fallen Canadian by the hair, and drags him over to a group of his "Sychopaths". He yells, "Give Mr. Quigley some respect!" The Sychopaths respond by dousing Quigley in pop and beer. He drops Quigley and walks off. He stops at a camera and says, "Petrow 3:16: the only questions that Joe Petrow answers, are the ones that Joe Petrow asks of himself!"] TD: How despicable. SR: I liked it. [Casey James wanders over to where Casey James lies, more shocked than hurt, wiping the soda out of his eyes. Casey extends a hand to help Quigley to his feet.] TD: Oh, you're kidding me. [Quigley, still blinking back soda, reaches out and allows Casey to help him to his feet. James then hits Quigley with a hard right hand. Big heel pop! Quigley strikes back, and pretty soon the two men are brawling on the outside.] TD: Look at these two go at it! We need some help out here! [The referee leaves the ring and tries to hold Quigley back, and eventually forces "Quickstrike" back up the aisle. Casey straightens his tie and takes his seat back at the timekeeper's table between his two valets, who fuss over him.] TD: We have a big match coming up next. Two former Heavyweight Champions of the World are about to knock heads -- maybe for the final time -- and maybe with the biggest prize of all coming down the line for the winner. SR: They're fighting for cash, Dross. Long green. Three hundred large. Big wa-wa... TD: Wa-wa?.... SR: Funky ole' wa-wa, daddy. Wooooooo! TD: For the love of God, somebody help Steve! SR: I'm sorry, folks, three hundred grand is a lotta chowder, and I gets a little misty around the ole' chowder... if you know what I mean. TD: No one has any idea what you mean, even less idea than usual. SR: Fine, Dross. The winner of this match is gonna clear $300,000. It's the largest purse in IIWF history and my guess is the Butcher will spend most of it on BMWs and bratwurst. If you're nice to me, maybe I'll give you a ride in the cherry red Beemer my good friend Otto will give to me. TD: Actually, Steve, I have it on good authority that were Otto Verhoeven to win this upcoming match he is planning on donating his purse to the Victims of the Holocaust Memorial Fund. SR: Oh, I get it, victims. Yes, good government of Germany, good sixty percent tax collecting, putting Steffi Graf's father in jail government of Germany -- Otto will be donating all of his money to charity. Certainly no wa-wa for the Butcher. TD: Let's get to ringside. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- $300,000 PURSE MATCH: -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Subway Psycho vs. Otto Verhoeven -------------------------------- WRITER: JJ [Casey James steps back into the ring once more.] CJ: Hey, Sparkplug... You actually get paid for this? Jeez... I hope you don't get more than minimum wage... This is so easy. Watch this... [The camera gets a shot of Sparkplug seated at the timekeeper's table beside Casey's two gorgeous valets. His tongue is practically hanging out and his eyes bulge.] TD: Look at poor little frustrated Sparkplug. He really misses Lisa, huh? SR: Not while he's faced with such a lovely pair, Dross. TD: Steve, that's crude. SR: Come to pappa, lovely ladies... CJ: Ladies and gentlemen, the purse money in the following match is more than any of you rednecks could hope to earn in a lifetime. We're talking big money here, folks -- $300,000! Introducing first, Accompanied to the ring by Heidi, the Teutonic Terror, the man who brutalizes the competiton of the IIWF at every turn. The last man before me to ever hold this world title with honour, The Man... Otto "The Butcher" Verhoeven! [The theme from Halloween is barely audible over the heel pop as the Germans make their way down the aisle. The monstrous Otto all business as he steps through the ropes, and hi-fives Casey. James smiles and pats Verhoeven on the back. The two men share a few words.] TD: Actually, Steve Roberts, I wasn't referring to the money. These are two former IIWF champions who very much would like to get back that gold -- now that the title situation is somewhat in flux, both of these men have to be thinking about Casey James. SR: There ain't no fluxing going on around here, Dross. The Syndicate's in charge of the IIWF title -- and any other title they want, for as long as they want. [Verhoeven stands in the corner of the ring as Casey raises his microphone once more.] CJ: His opponent, the world's first trained sewer rat in competition in the wrestling ring. He made the mistake of sticking his long, whiskered nose in my business by helping out Dan Kauffman. He made another mistake by aligning himself with an ex-Syndicate member Tiger Claw because he's going to get caught in the crossfire. Here is the person who for some reason everyone thinks is the People's Champion, but not the World Champion... That's me... The Sewer Rat! [Big pop as "Crazy Train" kicks in over the P.A. The Subway Psycho takes a step into the aisle and charges down the aisle. Casey James bails out, and retreats to the safety of the timekeeper's table. The Psycho points a finger at the Champion, and then turns back to face the ring. He suddenly makes a dash right at Verhoeven! He hits Otto, right hands flailing, sending the big man to the ropes. Subway Psycho whips Verhoeven cross-corner then follows up with a massive clothesline that sends the Butcher to the mat and then retreating to the outside! Big pop!] TD: Subway Psycho is serving notice! He has come here to collect another victory over Otto Verhoeven -- and collect the $300,000. SR: Forget it, Dross. That sewer rat wouldn't know wa-wa if it hit him in the ying-ying. [Subway Psycho wastes little time in joining Verhoeven on the outside, leaping from the apron with a big double axe to the top of Otto's head and then whipping him hard into the ringpost. Pop! Subway Psycho advances on the clearly surprised Butcher and hits him with a couple of reverse knife edge chops to the throat. The "people's champion" then grabs the head of the larger Verhoeven, looking to ram it into the apron -- but Otto is finally able to assert himself by blocking the move and countering by sending the Psycho one's own head into the apron. Heel pop.] SR: That's right. That's what I'm talking about, big man. Now the Subway Psycho's headin' to the butcher shop. [Verhoeven slows the pace considerably, landing a series of European uppercuts that daze Subway Psycho. Verhoeven executes a scoop slam, then easily picks up the 255lb. Subway Psycho again, carries him to a corner and rams his back against the ringpost. Heel pop as Verhoeven then walks to the opposite ringpost -- Subway Psycho still in tow -- and again powers his back against the steel. The Butcher then brings down the Subway Psycho hard over his knee with a backbreaker and dumps the "people's champion" back in the ring! Big heel pop!] TD: Verhoeven really has gained control here, Soundbite. How would you assess his strategy? SR: The Butcher went right after Subway Psycho's back, Dross. That's the advantage you have when you've been in the ring with a guy as many times as Otto has with this loser; he knows where his weaknesses are -- and no one can exploit a weakness better than the Butcher. [Otto enters and deliberately drops a knee to the back of the fallen Subway Psycho, then further goes to work on the back with a modified camel clutch that seems less designed for a potential submission than just to do more damage to the lower back. Subway Psycho is able to break the hold with a grab at the ropes, but can't escape the four consecutive hard boots that Verhoeven then lands to the back. The Butcher slowly picks up Subway Psycho, bullying him into the corner with lefts and rights; then cross-corner whipping the Psycho -- who reverses -- and it's Verhoeven who goes hard into the buckle. Subway Psycho attempts to advance again... but this time is met with a hard back elbow and then a clothesline that sends him back to the mat. Big heel pop!] TD: Well, this is all Verhoeven right now, Steve Roberts. He was able to withstand that early flurry and is now taking it all out on the ex-champion. SR: You shouldn't be surprised, Dross. Verhoeven is a dangerous individual, not unlike myself, and only a matter of moments away from getting rid of this punk Psycho for good. [Verhoeven moves for a lateral press - 1 - 2 - kickout. Verhoeven cuffs Subway Psycho around the head and covers - 1 - 2 - another kickout by the Psycho, this one with a little more force, sufficient to draw cheers from the crowd. Verhoeven jumps to his feet and stares at the fans with disdain as he delivers another series of hard stomps to the back, each one seemingly aimed at every Subway Psycho fan who would dare to boo the Butcher. Verhoeven runs his thumb across his throat and picks up the Subway Psycho, setting him up for...] SR: It's the Slaughterslam, Dross! He's gonna break the man's back with that chokeslam-cum-backbreaker! Over! Over! Over! [Verhoeven has the Subway Psycho high in the air for the Slaughterslam, but the Subway Psycho is able to wrap his knees around the Butcher's head -- and head-scissors him to the mat! Big pop! Subway Psycho sits atop the Butcher and grabs his legs - 1 - 2 - No! Verhoeven gets a shoulder up and the Subway Psycho starts pummeling away with a series of rapid fire hard right hands and then a slam of the head into canvas. Subway Psycho rises to a big pop, bounces off the ropes with a legdrop... and misses! Verhoeven rolls away and both men are down!] TD: Amazing counter by the Subway Psycho, a head scissors takeover out of a Slaughterslam. That may have just saved him the match. SR: Too little, too late, Dross. Subway Psycho has got beaten up today -- he doesn't have the strength to mount any offense. [There is no 10 count by the official, but each man rises in a reasonable time, Verhoeven landing a right to the head which is countered by a Subway Psycho right. Verhoeven sends a left... and so does the Subway Psycho. The two men then stand right in the middle of the ring, two former champions exchanging a furious series of blows, each throwing lefts and rights with every ounce of energy they possess, to the thrill of a now completely standing IIWF Coliseum crowd! Otto attempts a wild, roundhouse right hand which Subway Psycho ducks -- then picks up Verhoeven into an atomic drop that sends the Butcher reeling. Subway Psycho bounces farside and cross body blocks Verhoeven hard and both men go tumbling out over the top rope and out onto the floor! Big pop!] TD: I don't know where the Subway Psycho gets it! Trading blows with a man who outweighs him by nearly 100lbs. SR: I know where he's gonna get it, Dross. He's gonna get it in the head and the neck and the back and the wallet, Dross. Otto's got him right where he wants him. [Otto again is the first to rise, taking the Subway Psycho along with him and then sending him hard into the steel steps. Pop! Verhoeven advances, slipping a boot from the prone Psycho and driving the people's champion down with a vicious stomp to the "lower midsection". Verhoeven then takes his opportunity... laying Subway Psycho out, face first, over the bottom half of the now dislodged steps while he picks the top half high into the air.... and then drives them down over the back of the Subway Psycho! Big heel pop!] TD: Oh, no! Oh, no! What's Verhoeven going to do now? What's he doing with those steps? SR: Bring home the wa-wa, big man! [Verhoeven has pulled the Subway Psycho back to a vertical base -- and now has him propped up against the ringspost, while the Butcher has dropped back several feet feet, steel steps in his hand... ready to charge.] SR: Sleep tight, Psycho. NO! NO! [Face pop as Subway Psycho just manages to slip the charge, forcing Verhoeven to slam hard into the ringpost -- steel steps first, the ringing in his big German body resonates throughout the Coliseum as he backs into the Subway Psycho -- and a belly to back suplex! The Butcher comes down hard on his stomach... or rather, on the steel steps which had become implanted into his torso by the ringpost! Big pop! Subway Psycho nods his head to his fans and picks up the steel steps.] TD: He's... he's gonna brain the Butcher with the steps. The Subway Psycho is gonna hit Verhoeven over the head with those steps! [Subway Psycho stands poised, hesitating momentarily as if deciding if this is the level to which he is willing to go -- and he answers "yes" as he prepares to bring the steps crashing down... but he is stopped with a huge clothesline from behind... from Casey James! James is all over the Subway Psycho with a series of hard boots to the head. The official is trying to get the new IIWF champion to leave ringside, but James is laying into the Subway Psycho, snarling at the former champ with every boot.] SR: Yeah! Yeah! Bury him, Blackheart! Bury... TD: It's Tiger Claw! Tiger Claw is here! [Claw floors James with a dropkick and is then all over his former stablemate with lighting quick chops to the solar plexus. James rises, fighting back, and the two brawl their way back up the aisle. Verhoeven has used the time wisely, however, and has sufficiently regained his composure to scoop up the Subway Psycho and slowly carry him up to the apron... and back into the ring. Verhoeven has virtually nothing left, but is legions ahead of Subway Psycho and demonstrates that with a powerful vertical suplex that leaves the "people's champion" laid flat out on the mat. Cover - 1 - 2 - ] TD: No! No! He kicked out! The Subway Psycho kicked out! [Verhoeven is shocked as shoves the official back, gouging at the eyes of the barely conscious Subway Psycho. Otto scoops up Subway Psycho again, and lands a hard backbreaker! Heel pop! Otto covers again- 1 - 2 - kickout! Kickout! Verhoeven pounds the mat in frustration.] SR: How do you beat this freak, Dross? It's unfair! [Verhoeven picks up Subway Psycho again into an Irish whip, there is one pass and then two, on the third Verhoeven puts his head down... too soon. Big face pop!] TD: Swinging neckbreaker! He hit the Butcher with a huge swinging neckbreaker! SR: They're both crawlin' to the corner, Dross! These guys are each crawling up the corner, Dross! [Verhoeven and Subway Psycho hit the ropes together, climbing to the first turnbuckle and then the second. Subway Psycho has his back to the ring and is trying to hook up the Butcher for a midrope suplex.... blocked. Subway Psycho lands a right hand and then another and angain tries for a suplex... and is lifted off his feet! High in the air! And brought down...] SR: Meathook chokeslam! Count him out, ref! [Verhoeven covers - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] SL: Your winner, as the result of a pinfall... Otto "The Butcher" Verhoeven! [Verhoeven raises his hand in victory as the Subway Psycho slumps out of the ring. A huge heel pop rises as IIWF President Daniel Spreadbury enters, directing the Butcher to the back where a ceremony to present him the check for $300,000 is being readied.] SL: Show me the wa-wa! Do you love the German man, Dross? Tell me you love the German man! Show me the wa-wa! TD: A remarkable pertformance by both men tonight, Soundbite -- and more than a little help from the new champion. At least we won't have to put up with any more of those ring introductions of his. SR: Shut it, Dross -- Casey James is a master of the microphone, which is a whole lot more than I can say for you. [The Subway Psycho slowly drags himself to his feet to a huge pop. He staggers and slumps against the ropes, but is determined to make it back to the locker room. He pushes his hair out of his eyes, and then rolls out of the ring under the bottom rope before heading up the aisle, lurching from one side of the aisle to the other.] TD: The Subway Psycho is going looking for Casey James, Steve! These two men will have to meet in the ring sometime soon! SR: And when they do, it'll be the same old story -- Casey will kick the Psycho's ass all the way back to the stinking sewers of New York. TD: Okay, folks, while the ring crew gets to work erecting the steel cage for the rest of the matches tonight, let's go backstage to Bulldog Brown, who I believe is with Dan Kauffman. Bulldog? [Bulldog Brown is in a backstage corridor, and beside him stands Dan Kauffman, scars from a week ago still plainly evident.] BB: Thanks, Tim. Dan, it's been exactly a week since you suffered the loss of your title -- and a pint of blood -- to Casey James. Can you bounce back tonight against a tough Billy Shakespeare? DK: Bulldog, if you want me to call you that... Billy's a little banged up, beaten and bruised as well, don't forget. Now I still don't feel real good, but Hardin jumped the gun when he said the King was dead. One: I ain't no king, and I don't WANT to be. See, that's the difference between me and everyone else, I don't NEED to be king. I'm fine being Dan Kauffman and nothing more. Two: Dan Kauffman ain't dead yet. This warrior still has seven pints of blood left, and the only way this man here's goin' to die is if someone takes those other pints of blood from me! Shakespeare, our first match saw a great technical match and was the foreshadowing of greater things for both of us. Now everyone says we've hit the downturn of our careers. Let's show them, Billy, why we were both "Born to Perform". BB: What about your thoughts on the farcical Quickstrike Match from earlier on here tonight? DK: I wouldn't expect anything but a cheap shot from a guy like Petrow. You may think you made yourself look good tonight, "Sychosys", but if you ask me, you backed out of a match which you knew you couldn't win -- not because of any corruption in the IIWF officials, but simply because you're not good enough. That's all I have to say, Bulldog. I've got to go and prepare for my match. [Kauffman walks out of shot.] BB: Back to you at ringside. [Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: The ring crew is still busy here getting the cage set up for the remainder of tonight's matches, so let's go over to Becky LaRue in her Lair for this week's interview. Her victim tonight is none other than the mysterious Spur. [Becky enters, this time wearing a bootleg "The other IIWF - When one just isn't enough" T-shirt. There is supportive jeering from the crowd. She sits.] BL: Today's guest hasn't beeen in the IIWF very long, and in that time he has managed to lose both his matches, but he's also given us the impression that he is going to explode any day now... and when he does... he's going to be dangerous. He is: Spur! [Spur walks in to only minor heat. He slowly looks over the crowd then sits, stoically. He carries the "Superstar" Belt recently abandoned by Stud Stetson. He throws the belt at Becky's feet.] S: Remember this? I know Billy Shakespeare does. Remember back a few weeks when a masked cruiserweight stole this belt from Stetson at ringside? Remember Shakespeare showing up with it a week later? It wasn't that wanna-be actor that took it... that was me! I put it in your locker, Shakespeare. I'm suprised that the fans even thought you would do something like that. Not even a nod of thanks to me. You got what you had coming. You want this Becky? BL: Um, no. Let's get to the interview. Gotta ask. What is with the chicken on your tights? S: It's a rooster Becky, I'd call it a fighting cock, but I might confuse you. That talon on the back of its foot is called a spur. BL: Hrumph. Pretty big talk for a guy who lost to Majestic Maurice McArthur. S: I had him beat. I didn't need to wait for the pin count. BL: Aren't you interested in wins? S: Wins give you title shots. There are a number of superstars in this fed who want the glory. I don't want glory. BL: What do you think of the t-shirt? S: It fits you. BL: [she scowls] You challenged Ronnie Paris to a rather unique match: If you win, you get to pick his next opponant. S: I wanted to make it interesting. Ronnie Paris is one of thos goody-goody types... bragging about respect and honor and fair play, he bothers me. I thought it might be fun to see if he'd put his present on the line against his future. BL: If you win... who will he face? [As he is about to answer, Asst. DA Brenda Hawkings walks into the interview area, carrying a small gift box. She waves politely. She then yells condescendingly at a jeering fan.] BL: This stage isn't for little girls playing "dress-up", honey. BH: Sorry to intrude, but about a week ago you questioned the financial resources of our office. Let me assure you, the department can more than adequately reward their supporters. So I give you this gift, compliments of my office, as both a token of my personal esteem and our professional respect for your broadcast abilities. BH: [hands Becky the box] It's the red one by the control truck. And don't worry about any traffic tickets on the way home. [Brenda leaves. Becky shakes the box, determines it isn't an explosive, and tentatively opens it. She pulls out a pair of black leather driving gloves, slipping them on for a perfect fit. She raises an eyebrow, impressed. Next she pulls out a car key, the camera just catching the word "Porsche" on the ring. Last she unfolds a note.] BL: [reading] "Becky, Please contact me or my officers if there is ever anything...." [She finishes the rest silently] Oh my, tee hee, well, never mind that. Well, um, back to this interview which there is no need to finish REALLY quickly unless there is some need to, but no rush. Are you done now? S: What was the question? BL: Oh, yes. If you beat Paris, who will you pick to fight him? S: Subway Psycho... Randy Acorn... Ned Norton... who knows? Can't you taste the power it gives you to hold a man's fate in your hands? BL: Hold his what in your hands? Oh, yes, fate... right. Are there any more "special" matches up your sleeve? S: Who knows? Maybe I'll challenge The Highwayman to a "Loser Unmasks" match. What secrets hide under our masks? Maybe I'm Larry Morton in disguise! BL: HA! Oh, please. I won't be able to drive if I keep laughing this much. Anything you'd like to add? S: Only that Ronnie Paris is just the beginning of what Spur is up to. By the time I'm done, no one will be able to trust one another. You won't be able to trust anyone, who is good, who's bad? Expected, unexpected, it's all the same: It's gonna be too easy. [He exits to a fair bit of booing. Becky quickly sprints after him, she stops one last moment to dangle the car keys in front of the camera, then disappears backstage. The camera holds a moment waiting for her to come back, but eventually cuts back to Tim Dross.] SR: How come nobody ever bribes me with Porsches, Dross? Fast cars are wasted on Becky. TD: I'm not sure, Steve -- a fast car for a fast woman. Anyway, the cage is now fully assembled, and we're ready for our next match. IIWF newcomers the Prophets of Rage will take on the Players' Club in an elimination cage match right here in just a few moments, after we've heard from "Desirable" Danny Dynamite and "Maverick" Michael Reyna. SR: What are those two losers going to whine about now?! [Fade into slow motion shots of the Syndicate beating Dynamite and Reyna. Then, slow black and white footage and audio of The Players' Club and Brody Thunder and J.W. Hardin talking of joining up. Cut to a black and white shot of Dynamit and Reyna standing in a room, with a baseball bat and pipe.] DDD: Hardin... Listen up, and listen good! What YOU and KAUFFMAN talked about was NEVER told to me. So don't go off sayin' that WE weren't tryin' to put out the Syndicate. Dan, he's on his own now. But Michael and myself STILL wanna put those scum-sucking two-bit tag champs UNDER, and I know Brody would LOVE to get his hands on Casey James... MR: Thunder... Hardin... It's a matter of being part of the problem or part of the solution? The name of the Players' Club is known worldwide as being PROBLEM SOLVERS! The Syndicate is what we both have in common. Guys, we're ready, willing, [both hold up the bat and pipe] and able to put out ANY member of the Syndicate at any given moment. DDD: Hardin and Thunder... The ball is your court... Be a part of an unstoppable team. Together, we can wipe out that cancer of a "stable", or bitch and whine every week about how we don't do anything. We're ready to rock'n'roll. [Fade. Cut back to ringside.] TD: They may be ready to rock and roll, but are they ready to face the Prophets of Rage inside a steel cage, Steve? SR: No way, Dross. This is gonna be great. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- CAGE ELIMINATION MATCH: -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Prophets of Rage vs. Players' Club ---------------------------------- WRITER: DK TD: This match could well be one of the most brutal matches of the night, as the Players' Club and The Prophets just don't get along anywhere they go! SR: The Prophets are actually a team whose talent lives up to their hype, unlike those overrated lightweight punks who call themselves "Players". This will be a cakewalk for the Prophets, no sweat! TD: I'm not so sure of that one, as the Players' Club is a very capable team that can capitalize on any mistake. But the cage does seem to favor the Prophets in this match, as we go to Sparkplug Lee! [Sparkplug Lee stands outside of the cage by the announce booth, and trips over a camera cord, casuing him to stumble and make a fool of himself just as the cameras focus on him. Always one to accept humility, Sparkplug begins.] SL: Er... The following contest is a tag-team elimination match! In this contest, the team who successfully eliminates BOTH members of the other team will be declared the winner! Introducing first, accompanied by Medusa Rage and Pizzazz, Derek, Shadoe, THE PROPHETS OF RAGE!!! [Medusa and the veiled Pizzazz appear at the head of the aisle, followed by Shadoe Rage and the towering form of Derek Rage. The crowd, booing for the arrival of the Prophets, seem to realize Derek's immense size and are practically silenced. Medusa and Pizzazz stay outside as the Prophets walk through the door into the cage.] TD: Derek Rage is huge! The crowd just became dead silent when he walked down the aisleway! SR: Cute, Dross. The guys upstairs are really going to be pleased with that analogy. The Prophets are the real deal, and they are going to take it to the Players' Club like there is no tommorow. TD: I think you're severly underestimating the ability of Dynamite and Reyna... SR: What ability? TD: Thank you for proving my point so well. [Before the music even comes on, the Players' Club head down the aisle, anxious to get the match underway. Dynamite is focused on the cage, while Reyna talks a little trash to the Prophets as the crowd has a mixed reaction. The two head into the cage...] SL: And their opponents... Danny Dynamite... Michael Reyna... The Players' Club! [As the announcement fades, the cage door is slammed shut, and the two teams are immediately on each other. The mammoth Derek simply backs Dynamite into a corner and starts throwing forearm shots that rock the lightweight. Reyna ducks a clothesline of Shadoe, then takes Shadoe down with a quick arm-drag before sending Shadoe into the cage! Shadoe isn't affected much, and kicks Reyna in the gut before DDTing him. Derek has Dynamite slumped in the corner, and turns to help Shadoe. Dynamite springs up and Bulldogs big Derek into the mat! Pop! Derek gets back up, and Dynamite flies off the ropes with a cross-body block, winding up in Derek's massive arms. Derek slams Dynamite hard, then both Derek and Shadoe drop elbows on both PC members.] TD: I'm a little surprised here. Derek and Shadoe have really defused the attack of the PC thus far, and have really dominated. SR: The cage is like a second home to these guys. Nobody gets the better of the Prophets in their own environment. [Derek pulls Reyna up and sends him head-first into the cage! Reyna is shaken up, and Derek back suplexes him back into the center of the ring! Shadoe hauls Dynamite up, but Dynamite reverses a suplex try and lifts Shadoe way up before sending him into the cage himself! Pop! Then Dynamite runs off the ropes and moves Derek with a big shoulderblock! Dynamite runs off again, and takes the big guy down with a flying clothesline! Big pop! Dynamite runs off the ropes again as Derek rolls to his stomach. Dynamite runs over and off the other side, leapfrogging Derek right into a spinning back heel kick of Shadoe! Heel pop! Reyna Grabs Derek and sends him into the corner with a show of power, before Shadoe grabs him, turns him around, and nails his own partner with a dropkick as Reyna ducked down! Dynamite and Reyna capitalize and splash both men at the same time!] TD: Turnaround is fair play, and now it's the Players' Club asserting themselves in this match! They are taking advantage of mistakes here! SR: But the Prophets don't make too many mistakes, and the Players' Club is simply not in the class of the Prophets... This match will prove that come the end. [Shadoe and Reyna start brawling across the ring, with Reyna seemingly in control. Dynamite goes to work on Derek, but Derek pokes the PC member in the eye before pressing him up above! Pop! Derek sends Dynamite flying head-first like a dart into the steel cage! Heel pop! With Dynamite out of the way, Derek helps Shadoe with Reyna, and the two double-powerbomb Michael into the mat! Cover.... 1 -- 2 -- Reyna rolls a shoulder up! Dynamite starts to recover, but Derek and Shadoe meet him at the same time, and Shadoe whips him into a spike-slam of Derek! Pop! Cover... 1 -- 2 -- Kickout! Reyna recovers again, and again, both Rages meet Reyna and lift him up, but Dynamite stops the double-team with a tackle of Shadoe, sending the two into a wild brawl in the corner! Derek is caught off-guard, and falls back with Reyna on top! 1 -- 2 -- KICKOUT! The force of Derek's kickout sends Reyna over the ropes and into the cage!] TD: Wow! Derek Rage may be the strongest man in the IIWF! That was incredible! And it was all arm strength, as Derek didn't even use his legs to power out! SR: That's just a small taste of what these Prophets can do. And here's comes another small taste! [Derek drags Reyna out into the center ring and simply lifts him and throws him into the air, sending Reyna crashing back to earth on his face! Reyna clutches his facial area as Derek stands over him. Dynamite has Shadoe turned upside down on the corner, and stomps away, but Derek puts an end to that with a quick kick to the back of Dynamite's head! Pop! As Reyna continues to lie flat in the center of the ring, a person rolls out from under the ring and scales the cage!] TD: Wait a minute! THAT'S PIZZAZZ! Then who is the woman under the veil??? I don't understand this... SR: I do! What a ploy by the Prophets, 'cause here comes the Headwrecker! [As Derek and Shadoe trap Dynamite in the corner, Pizzazz flies off the top of the cage, and cameras flash as she hits the deadly Headwrecker on Reyna! Pizzazz gets up and scales the other side of the cage, then performs the move again as Dynamite tries in vein to escape the grasp of the Rages! Finally, Pizzazz exits the cage through the door as Shadoe makes the cover on Reyna as Derek holds back Dynamite... 1 -- 2 -- 3! Reyna is eliminated, and Derek and Shadoe promptly team up to whip Dynamite to the other corner.] SL: Michael Reyna of the Players' Club is eliminated! TD: The Prophets have worked their dastardly tactics to perfection, and now they have Dynamite all alone in that cage! Reyna has been thrown out by Derek, and lies in a heap on the concrete floor, and can Dynamite even cope with two men? SR: It's all over, Dross. [Roberts is proven wrong, as Dynamite ducks under the double clothesline attempt, and as Derek hits his head hard on the cage, Dynamite quickly rolls up Shadoe... 1 -- 2 -- 3! Shadoe pops up quickly in a fury, and levels Dynamite with a reverse thrust kick, but the referees pull Shadoe from the cage and to the outside, where Shadoe reluctantly walks down the aisle.] TD: What a change in fortune! Just like that, Danny Dynamite has wrapped up Shadoe, and he's history! What a move by the resilient Dynamite to stay alive! SR: But now he has the monster Derek to contend with, and there's no way he's eliminating that guy tonight. [Derek shakes off the effects of the cage, and Dynamite puts the big man in a headlock, which only serves to let Derek whip him off the ropes. Derek attempts a slam, but Dynamite whirls around and takes the big man down with a head-scissors roll! Pop! Derek gets up, and catches Dynamite by the arm as he closes. Dynamite twists the arm, then does a couple rolls to add leverage, but Derek simply uses his free hand to grab Dynamite by the throat and chokeslam him with authority! Derek covers with one hand... 1 -- 2 -- Kickout!] TD: Not even Derek is going to beat Dynamite like that! Derek should have known better than to try to beat Dynamite with a lackluster pin. SR: Is it even going to matter? Derek has Dynamite's number! [Derek brings Dynamite up and slams him to the canvas, then runs off the ropes, and attempts a leg drop that is narrowly avoided! Seeing his opportunity, Dynamite climbs to the top rope and flies off with a splash down on top of Derek! POP! Cover... 1 -- 2 -- KICKOUT! Derek sends Dynamite flying, but Dynamite has the momentum, and sends Derek off the ropes, catching him with an amazing hurricanrana on the way back! 1 -- 2 -- Kickout! Derek just did get out in time, and starts to stand, but is met with a missile dropkick from Dynamite, and crumples back to the mat! Dynamite is fired up, and signals that he's going to the top again!] TD: This could be it right here! Dynamite has the momentum, and he's going to finish the job on Derek Rage right now! WAIT A MINUTE! IT'S SHADOE! SR: This ain't over yet! [Dynamite has climbed to the top rope, but Shadoe rockets up to the cage, climbing it with three quicks leaps! Dynamite doesn't see him, and Shadoe vaults over the top of the cage, catching Dynamite on his dive down with a DDT from the top rope that leaves Dynamite out cold in the center of the ring! Shadoe rolls away outside as Derek covers... 1 -- 2 -- 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! Reyna flies back to the ring and enters, and the Prophets simply get out of the way as Reyna attends to Dynamite, who bleeds from a cut on hyis forehead. The Rages, along with Pizzazz and Medusa, exit the cage and head back up the aisle.] SL: The winner of this match is Derek Rage of the Prophets of Rage! TD: What a move that was by Shadoe, but he didn't belong in the cage! SR: So what? Anything goes in the cage, and the Prophets showed why they are the superior tag team tonight! But you're right, Dross... what a move that was! TD: I'm sure this isn't the end of the war between these two teams. You know Dynamite and Reyna will want these two men in the ring again. Well, our next contest will again provide an answer to that age old question. SR: No, dammit, how many times do I have to tell you, I'm not! It was just one time in college and I'm sick of your insinuations, Dross. TD: Er, I meant the age old question, "Can a good little man beat a good big man?" What did you think I was referring to, Steve? SR: That's exactly what I thought you meant. TD: Indeed. Steve Summer is backstage, trying to get a word with the White Phoenix, who is preparing to meet the monstrous Deathbringer in just a few moments. [IIWF intern Steve Summer is walking through the halls of the backstage area. He comes to the dressing room of The White Phoenix, obvious because of the medallion hung from the doorknob in the shape of a red eagle. The sound of crashing metal can be heard, along with the occasional grunt. Summers knocks on the door, and Sun Tsi opens it. The White Phoenix can be seen in the background, repeatedly punching a locker; his knuckles are dripping blood.] SS: I was hoping to speak to Shinja about his upcoming match with Deathbringer. TS: You will not speak to him. He is busy training. You will speak to me. SS: Well... um... alright, then, what are your thoughts on the match tonight? TS: The Deathbringer claims to have power over life and death. But power only comes through knowledge, hard-won knowledge, and the Phoenix knows more about death than any man. The world shall see that my student is a very dangerous man. Dangerous indeed. [The Phoenix turns around and extends both fists toward the camera, blood flowing liberally from both hands. Sun Tsi closes the door, laughing.] SS: Um... that's all from here. Back to you, Tim! [Cut back to ringside.] TD: I'm beginning to worry about the Phoenix, Steve. Lacerating your own knuckles by punching a locker simply isn't healthy. Let's get back down to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- CAGE MATCH: -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The White Phoenix vs. Deathbringer ---------------------------------- WRITER: JJ [Sparkplug Lee seems to be tickled by the "Sycopaths 4 Sparkplug" sign which is sported at ringside as he takes the mic...] SL: The following contest is a special "Rage in the Cage" match! There is NO countout or disqualification. The only ways to win the match are by pinfall or submission. Introducing first... [Big pop as the lights dim and Grave Digger's "The Reaper" begins]... he hails from the Dark Side and weighs 324lbs, a former IIWF Heavyweight Champion, here is Deathbringer! [The mighty Deathbringer begins his slow walk down the aisle, his red eyes gleaming with the fire of a man who even death could not contain.] TD: That's an imposing, intimidating figure, Steve Roberts. I really wonder if Shinja Chow knows what he's in for tonight. SR: I hate to agree with you, Dross. So I won't. There's something about the Phoenix since his return, something hard to define, but I think he knows exactly what he's doing. SL: His opponent, accompanied to the ring by his mentor Sun Tsi, at a weight of 220 lbs, from Beijing, China: "The White Phoenix" Shinja Chow! ["Firestarter" is played over the PA and the orange clad Sun Tsi walks to the ring... without Shinja Chow. Deathbringer seems nonplussed as the music stops and the Phoenix has still to emerge from the back. Suddenly, the lights go down and red origami birds come fluttering down from the Coliseum ceiling, resting atop the cage. Deathbringer extends his arms, palms raised upward, his gaze never leaving the top of the aisle. Simultaneously, the birds turn into red balls of fire, flashing, nearly dancing atop the cage. The lights rise again and the crowd pops, seeing what the Deathbringer does not - the White Phoenix on the top turnbuckle!] TD: Here he comes! Shinja Chow is here! [The Phoenix swoops down from the top rope, landing a double axe to the back of the Deathbringer. Pop! He immediately finds the opposite to turnbuckle and just as quickly returns to the giant's back with a flying scissor kick that staggers the Deathbringer! Pop! Shinja Chow is not through, leaping to the third top turnbuckle and executing a wondrous airborne back heel kick that drops Deathbringer to one knee! Pop! One corner to go -- and the Phoenix finds its top buckle and then comes crashing down with a somersault press that sends Deathbringer thumping hard to the canvas! Pop! Shinja Chow covers with a lateral press for - 1 - big kickout from Deathbringer! The Phoenix goes flying over the top rope, landing on the apron near the cage! Big pop!] TD: This is what I'm talking about, Steve Roberts. What more could the Phoenix do? He hit the Deathbringer with every move in the book in the first 90 seconds of the match -- and he winds up tossed over the top rope! [Deathbringer sits up and advances on Chow, pulls him up and then chokes him over the top rope, disregarding the official's five count with a clear knowledge that a disqualification is impossible. The 'Bringer then runs Chow to the buckle - his neck remaining draped over the top rope - and smashes his head into the buckle! Pop! Deathbringer then grabs the Phoenix by the back of the neck, ramming his head again into the buckle... then into the ringpost... then into the steel cage, busting Chow wide open and sending the crowd into a frenzy. Huge pop!] SR: Aw yeah, look at it flow. That's the stuff. Come to poppa. TD: Steve, we're not talking about the "good big man" anymore. [Deathbringer carries the Phoenix to the middle of the ring, draped over his shoulder and now sets him up for a tombstone piledriver!] TD: It's gonna be over quick, Steve! The 'Bringer's got him set up! [Deathbringer is unable to bring Chow down, however, the Phoenix snaking his way around the 'Bringer's back and into a crucifix! And the White Phoenix brings him down and into a - 1 - kickout. Deathbringer sits up and grabs the Phoenix around the neck, rocking the cruiserweight with three solid forearms to the head. Deathbringer shoves Chow to the mat and then stomps his head to the appreciation of his fans.] TD: At this point, Steve Roberts, what's going throught the head of Shinja Chow? SR: Well, a few moments ago it was the cage and just now it was the dead man's boot. TD: You'll never get tired of that joke, will you? SR: Not until your hair grows back, Dross. [Deathbringer has now retuned to the sitting Phoenix, alternating between a reverse chinlock and jabbing his thumbs into the smaller man's trapezius. The 'Bringer works for several moments, keeping Chow on the mat, thoroughly disinterested in ending his predicament. Deathbringer now picks up Chow by the neck -- and then slams him back to the canvas by means of his tailbone. The dead man mercilessly picks up the Phoenix again, quickly jamming him into the mat once more and then flinging Chow into the corner -- his back crashing hard into the buckle. Pop! Deathbringer charges hard... but misses as Chow leapfrogs... running his own head into the ringpost and then having it snap back from a reverse crescent kick from the White Phoenix! Pop!] SR: Never charge the corner -- especially if you're dead. [The Phoenix looks to capitalize, whipping the Bringer farside... but it's reversed and Chow himself comes off the ropes, sliding between Deathbringer's legs and then snapping up to his feet -- to the ropes -- to the cage -- and then down on the Deathbringer with a flying crossbody block that takes the dead man to the mat for a - 1 - 2 - No! Deathbringer gets his shoulder up!} TD: Did you see that, Steve Roberts? Shinja Chow leapt from the floor to the top rope and then high up the cage before flying down with a crossbody block -- is there nothing this guy will not do to his own body? [The White Phoenix hops up quickly and delivers a rapid series of stomps to the head and neck, then he quickly bounces off the backropes and drives down to the Deathbringer's head with a somersault legdrop into a- 1 - 2 - kickout. The Phoenix is unrelenting, the blood continuing to trickle down his face as he resumes stomping the Deathbringer's neck. But the Deathbringer bolts straight up. Chow is undeterred, delivering four quick double palms to the face and then bouncing off the ropes into a snapmare of the Bringer which sends his head again to the mat! Pop! But the Deathbringer bolts straight up.] TD: He won't stay down, Steve Roberts! Deathbringer refuses to lose! [Chow moves in for a knife edge -- but the 'Bringer nails him with a big right hand. Chow staggers back... but won't back down and advances again -- and again into a big right hand. The Deathbringer is up now, to his feet and wails away at the Phoenix, landing a series of right hands that drives the smaller man into the ropes. Deathbringer sets him up for an Irish whip into a flying clothesline.... but gets caught in midair by a savate kick that stops the dead man right in his tracks! Pop!] SR: This is a new White Phoenix we are seeing, Dross. This is a guy who is absolutely fearless in the ring. Reminds me of me. And now he's going up! He's going to the top of the cage! [The White Phoenix levels the Deathbringer with two standing dropkicks and is now heading up, beyond the ropes all the way to the top of the cage while Deathbringer lies motionless in the ring. The Phoenix reaches the epox and turns his back to the ring...] TD: Oh my! A moonsault from the top of the cage! Incredible! [Earthshattering pop as Shinja Chow executes a picture perfect moonsault from the top of the 15 foot high steel cage. And he covers... 1 - 2 - KICKOUT! Huge pop as the Deathbringer bolts upright and wraps his right hand around the throat of the Phoenix.... Chokeslam. Deathbringer moves for a cover...] TD: And that's all she wrote! The Phoenix is out! Hang on -- someone's walking... it's Serge Annis! Serge Annis is coming to ringside! SR: Well, this one's over, Dross. Annis is coming to clean up the cage! Get the asbestos jackets ready. [The referee counts - 1 - 2 - NO. Deathbringer's momentary distraction by the ringside presence of Annis was just enough for Chow to lift a shoulder and save the match. Deathbringer stands, looking straight at Annis as he runs his thumb across his throat... and is rolled up into a small package by the Phoenix! 1 - kickout! Chow delivers quick knife edge's to the throat and then looks to go back to the top rope... but the Deathbringer trips him. Trips him! Annis waves the two men toward the corner outside of which he stands. The Deathbringer and the White Phoenix are now each near that corner each trying to climb to the top of the cage, each man seeming to want to reach Annis more than grab a victory. It is Shinja Chow who first reaches the top rope and attempts to scramble to the outside... but Annis begins to laugh. And the crowd begins to roar.] TD: He caught him, Steve! Deathbringer has him for The Burial! [Deathbringer has reached the top rope and plucked Phoenix from the cage and now readies for his top rope piledriver.] TD: It's.... [Annis then charges the cage, stopping just short of slamming his body against it, causing the Deathbringer to turn his head... and allowing Chow to pull his body up, swivel 360 degrees anround the neck of the dead man and then pull them both down from the top rope to the mat with a hurricarana and a cover - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] SR: ...Over! SL: Your winner, as a result of a pinfall... "The White Phoenix" Shinja Chow! [Enormous pop as the shocked crowd takes in the scene. Deathbringer has lost -- lost to the White Phoenix with a top rope hurricarana. Sun Tsi enters the ring, walks over to his victorious charge... and backhands him across the face! Deathbringer sits upright, and then stands.] TD: Uh-oh. Deathbringer doesn't look at all happy, Steve. SR: The guy never smiles, Dross. Of course he doesn't look happy. [The crowd is hushed momentarily as Deathbringer faces the Phoenix, and takes a step toward him and his mentor. Then he drops to one knee, and raises his outstretched palm to the Phoenix in a sign of respect before turning to leave the cage and head after the departing Annis. The Phoenix bows to Sun Tsi, and student and teacher leave the cage.] TD: What a match, Steve. What an upset! The White Phoenix pins Deathbringer... Incredible. SR: I told you, Dross, the Phoenix is a new man these days. TD: We've got to take a short break, folks, but we'll be back with more IIWF action in just a few moments after this message from our sponsors: [The screen fades. Fade back up on a shot of the arena concourse, near the exits to the stalls. Lt. Keene, Asst. D.A. Hawkings, and Sgt. Blazer or Night Patrol stand with boxes printed with the IIWF logo.] DK: Listen up, law-abiding IIWF fans! The new IIWF Mechandise Catalog is here for you enjoyment! JB: Check out the Marty Warnett Party Guide, just $19.95! [Cut to trio holding glasses. Brenda examines a quarter and the book.] BH: So if I miss, I take a drink, right? [Cut back to the trio standing in front of the boxes.] DK: Or the Mr. Damage Vegimite Assortment, only $49.95! [Cut to the trio nibbling on various vegemite-related items.] JB: I still say it's better than Spam. [Cut back to the arena concourse.] BH: Or my favorite, the IIWF Karaoke Collection, $16.95 on CD, $12.95 on casette! Hear us do justice to AC/DC! [Cut to Night Patrol air guitaring and wailing.] BH: "Dirty Deeds..." JB & DK: "...Done Dirt Cheap!" [Cut back to the Patrol standing in front of the boxes.] DK: So pickup your catalog today and take the IIWF with you everywhere! [Fade. Cut back to the announcers' table.] TD: Welcome back, folks. Now I'm not usually one to complain about the quality of the marketing department's output, but that commercial sure isn't going to win any awards at big industry dinners this year. SR: Night Patrol should stick to busting heads with those nightsticks of theirs, not making shoddy promos. TD: Okay, let's get straight back to the action. We have some... interesting rules for our next match. SR: Rules. Yeah, the Disciples are about to climb into a steel cage, blood probably already running out of Wulf's mouth, and you're talking about rules? Dross, these guys aren't interested in "i before E except after C" -- these guys are interested in human wreckage. TD: Nonetheless, this is a tag team elimination match, that means that to win you have to defeat not one -- but both of your opponents. SR: Beat both Dark Disciples? Are they bringing sticks? TD: Not only that, Steve Roberts, but all four men; Kane, Wulf, Monster and Jarvier will ALL be in the ring at the same time! No tags. No illegal doubleteams. All four men locked inside a steel cage -- and the winner gets the gold. SR: Things are getting good around here, Dross. Whose idea was this "Rage in the Cage" anyway? The corporate suits musta stole that from somebody. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- IIWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP CAGE MATCH: -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Dark Disciples [c] vs. Domination -------------------------------------------- WRITER: JJ [Sparkplug Lee steps back into the ring.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following elimination cage match is for the IIWF World Tag Team Championships. Introducing first, the champions: led to the ring by Brian Lau and Don McQueen, at a combined weight of 615lbs, here are the Champions -- Kane and Wulf, the Dark Disciples! [The champs enter to the strains of their drudic chanting, with Don McQueen and Brian Lau leading the way down the aisle. The crowd give a solid heel pop as Wulf begins to climb the cage from the outside, but is motioned down by Kane as the full compliment of the Syndicate steps into the cage and forms a circle.] TD: Like them or not -- they are the Syndicate and they have seized control of the IIWF. SR: What's not to like, Dross? Clean cut, upstanding young men. Covered with satanic tattoos. RA: And introducing their opponents: accompanied to the ring by Mistress, at a combined weight of 568lbs, here are Monster and "Perfect" Dani Jarvier, Domination! [Monster and Jarvier sprint to the cage, followed closely by Mistress, causing everyone but Kane and Wulf to quickly bail out. Domination hits the ring and quickly goes to work, Monster knocking Wulf into a corner with right hands and Jarvier hitting consecutive dropkicks on Kane. Kane falls to the canvas and Monster whips Wulf into a crescent kick from Jarvier. Pop! Kane rises and is Irish whipped by Monster into a double big boot. Pop! Wulf and Kane now rise together, while Jarvier climbs to the top rope. Monster picks "Perfect" clean off the rope and hurls him at both Disciples for a flying cross body and Jarvier covers both men! 1 - 2 - double kickout!] TD: Domination is just that, Steve Roberts. You would think these two men have been tag team partners for years! [All four men are on their feet, Monster and "Perfect" whipping their opposite numbers into the middle of the ring... but Kane is able to reverse and sends Jarvier runing into Wulf. Heel pop as Jarvier falls like a shot to the mat from the force of the collison with the bigger Disciple. Monster charges Wulf -- who slips his clothesline -- and the huge Domination member runs right into a belly to belly suplex by Kane! Big pop! Kane climbs up to the top rope as Wulf plants a boot to Jarvier's head and a knife edge to an oncoming Monster. Monster swings wildly at Wulf but is met with an atomic drop that sends him off to the buckle. Wulf turns quickly back to Jarvier and scoopslams him hard into the mat. Jarvier staggers up... just in time to take the full blunt of his partner, who has just been whipped into him by Wulf! Both members of Domination are down as Kane leaps from the top rope with an elbow... landing hard on Monster for the cover... 1 - 2 - 3!] TD: Monster has been eliminated! Kane has just pinned Monster of Demolition! SR: Better than that, Dross. Better than that, the new guy is gonna be in the ring alone... in a cage... with the Dark Disciples! [Monster leaves the cage and takes a frustrated place at ringside near Mistress, while Kane and Wulf advance two on one against Jarvier. "Perfect" is now standing near the ropes and takes a noticeable deep breath as the snarling Disciples grow near. Jarvier attacks Kane first, peppering the Disciple with right hands and then turning to Wulf... Who chokeslams him. Huge heel pop as Wulf places one foot on the chest of Jarvier and covers - 1 - 2 - ] TD: He let him up! Wulf is stopping the count and picking Dani Jarvier up! This could come back to haunt the tag team champions, Soundbite. SR: Are you kidding, Dross? This is two on one, the Disciples are gonna perform their own brand of initiation ceremony on this "Perfect". [Wulf scoops up the 260lbs Jarvier with ease and places him over his shoulder, he and Kane walk Jarvier over to the side of the ring and together throw him like a dart into the cage! Big pop! Jarvier is now busted open and his blood acts like an oasis to Wulf, who plunges into his forehead like a jackal; biting, ripping, tearing at the exposed flesh of the helpless Jarvier. "Perfect" attempts to escape but is met with a series of boots by Kane until the Disciples again bring Jarvier to his feet. Kane takes "Perfect" and Irish whips him into a hard Wulf lariat that causes Jarvier to do a mid-air 360 degree flip and fall head first into the mat! Big heel pop! Kane then slowly walks over to the prone "Perfect" and places his foot on his chest for a cover and a 1 - 2 - and he lifts up his foot while Wulf drops a forearm to Jarvier's chest! Kane then does the same... and the two Disciples drop consecutive forearm after forearm... elbow after elbow on the motionless body of Jarvier.] SR: Absolutely perfect! Looks like Monster's gonna have to go out and get him another partner, Dross. TD: Welcome to the IIWF, Mr. Jarvier. [Monster, from the outside, jumps to the cage, causing Kane to walk over to taunt him while Wulf scoops Jarvier to his feet and whips him farside, Wulf drops his head a little too soon and is caught with a spinning DDT! Face pop as Kane turns around to see his partner covered - 1 - 2 - 3!] TD: Unbelievable! From out of nowhere, Dani Jarvier hits his "Perfect End"! And it's one on one! SR: Look at Wulf's face, Dross! He actually looks shocked! Look at him! [Wulf hops off the canvas and nails Jarvier from behind with a forearm that sends him down and offers a hard series of stomps to the back before Kane is able to convince his partner to leave the ring. Jarvier now has staggered to his feet, the blood streaming down his face, staining the mat a fresh crimson. He and Kane circle each other and, for the first time, lock up collar and elbow. Kane moves into a standing side headlock but Jarvier is able to elbow free and hiptoss Kane to the mat. Kane is up quickly and Jarvier dropkicks him back to the canvas. Kane rises again and is Irish whipped... but Kane reverses into an armdrag takedown... and another armdrag takedown. Kane moves for an armbar which Jarvier counters and Kane goes for a reverse chinlock. Jarvier again counters, this time with a head scissors takeover that Kane reverses into a cover - 1 - 2 - kickout.] TD: We are really seeing something here, Steve Roberts. You have got to be impressed with the fortitude being shown by this young man from California. SR: I'm impressed with the amount of forehead being shown by this young man from California, the surgical stitches concession here at the Coliseum should be going like gangbusters after tonight. [Kane and "Perfect" are each back to a vertical base, each man landing right hands to the butt of the other's jaw. Kane is able to force "Perfect" back into a corner and cross-corner whips him, but is reversed, and reversed again; Jarvier goes into the buckle and Kane goes behind with a waistlock suplex that sends Jarvier back to the mat... but "Perfect" rolls him up into an inside cradle! Pop! 1 - 2 - NO! Kane is just able to get a shoulder up and now the two men are scrambling on the mat, each throwing kicks and punches as they try to regain their footing. It's "Perfect" who is up first and lands a dropkick to Kane's head and then make his way to the midrope as Kane stumbles. Jarvier bounces off the midturnbuckle into a cross body block... but Kane catches him in mid-air... and piledrivers him into the mat and a quick cover - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Your winners, and STILL IIWF Tag Team Champions of the World - The Dark Disciples! [Wulf points at his partner before leaving the cage and joining Lau, McQueen and Kane on the outside. Kane and Wulf raise their charred titles to the jeering crowd, and the Syndicate heads away from the ring as Mistress and Monster tend to the bloody Jarvier in the ring.] TD: Rage in the Cage indeed, Steve Roberts. The Dark Disciples live to fight another day. SR: They'll live forever, Dross. The Syndicate wins again, yesterday, today and tomorrow; and you can bring in all the second-rate tag teams you want -- they aren't gonna take those belts from around those waists. I love it! [Monster helps Jarvier to his feet, and assists the smaller man up the aisle to a big face pop, Mistress following closely behind.] TD: Up next we've got a classic Crusierweight encounter with two athletes who have met many times before: Tiger Claw challenges the "Enigma" Tazeko Musashi. SR: And it's in a cage. TD: Yes, in a cage. These two are certainly no strangers to each other, Steve. SR: But now that Claw's left the Syndicate, I don't rate his chances. He's gone soft. TD: Somehow I doubt that's the case, Steve. Let's go to the ring for the official word. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP CAGE MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Enigma" Takezo Musashi [c] vs. Tiger Claw ------------------------------------------- WRITER: MP [Sparkplug Lee steps into the squared circle once more.] RA: The following contest is for the IIWF Cruiserweight championship, and is a cage match. The rules are as follows; the winner will be the first man to escape the cage, either through the door, or out over the top. Introducing first, the challenger, weighing in at 220lbs and hailing from Thailand, here is Tiiiiiiiiiigggggggeeerr Clllaaaaaaawwwww!! [Big crowd pop as Claw's Thai boxing music starts up over the PA system, and Claw himself appears at the head of the aisle, and begins to make his way down to the ring, raising his hands to the crowd.] SR: Oh, how fickle are the fans... One month ago, these morons wouldn't have even have spat in Claw's direction, let alone cheer him... TD: People change, Steve... SR: Yeah? Well, it makes me sick... [Tiger Claw leaps up to the ring apron and steps through the cage door, again raising his fists to the crowd, to another big pop.] RA: And his opponent... he is the current IIWF Crusierweight Champion, weighing in at 211lbs and hailing from Tokyo, Japan, here is the "Enigma" Tazeeeeeekoo Muuuussssaaaaaassshiiiiiii! [Huge crowd pop as the Enigma appears at the head of the aisle, and the mystical oriental music starts up over the PA system. The Enigma runs down the aisle, slapping the fans' hands, and leaps onto the ring apron, before climbing to the top of the cage and holding the Crusierweight championship in the air. Huge crowd pop, and camera flashes go off all around the arena! The Enigma climbs over the top of the cage, and drops down into the ring.] TD: Wow! What an entrance by the Enigma! SR: Big deal. Let's just see them pulverise each other. [The official leaves the ring and closes the cage door. Both men look at each other cautiously, then fly into a collar and elbow tie-up. Claw takes the advantage with a headlock takedown, breaks, and leaps at the Enigma's head with a kneedrop! The Enigma just barely manages to get out of the way in time! As Claw springs back up, the Enigma comes at him with a series of thrust kicks. Tiger Claw coolly blocks each one in turn, before lashing out with a spinning knee strike that almost catches the Enigma off guard! Big crowd pop as both men drop into a fighting stance!] TD: This one looks as though it's gonna be heated right from the start! SR: Yeah. With a bit of luck, we may see them both bleed before the match is out. TD: There's something wrong with you, Steve, you know that? [Both men cautiously start to circle again, and Claw lunges forward with a second knee strike. The Enigma side-steps and spins at Claw with a backfist... Claw ducks and lunges forward, catching the Enigma in another lockup, before forcing him backwards into the ring ropes. Claw tries a knee strike, but the Enigma moves, and Claw's knee strikes the metal cage with a crash! Big pop! Claw turns, apparently suffering no ill effects, and gets taken to the canvas by an armdrag from the Enigma! Claw springs straight to his feet, and the Enigma sends him straight back down with a standing dropkick! And another! Claw rolls backwards and leaps up again, only to hastily step backwards as the Enigma drops into another fighting stance! Big pop! Claw begins to circle the Enigma again.] TD: This is what we've come to expect from our crusierweight athletes... high speed flurries of attacks. But both men are treating each other with a tremendous amount of respect here. SR: Great. But I really think it would be much better if both men just beat seven shades of snot out of each other. [Both men move to lock up again. This time, the Enigma ducks under the grapple attempt, and tries a short clothesline as Tiger Claw turns. Claw ducks under it, spins and lashes out with one of his own, sending the Enigma spinning to the canvas! Big pop!] SR: Now that's more like it! If this were the old Tiger Claw we were watching, he'd be smashing Musushi's face into the cage by now... [Instead, Claw picks the Enigma up, backs him into the corner and starts smashing knee after knee into the Enigma's midsection with his knee fury. The Enigma recovers surprisingly quickly, nails Claw with an elbow to the jaw, reverses their positions in the corner and starts kicking away with a series of fast roundhouse kicks to Claw's midsection! Big pop! The Enigma leaps, spins, and plants a side thrust kick under Claw's jaw, and Claw staggers out of the corner and crumples to the mat! Another big pop! The Enigma makes a fast dash for the door, but Claw reaches out and trips his foot, sending the Enigma crashing to the canvas!] TD: Tiger Claw was stunned for a second, and the Enigma thought he could make a quick escape. SR: No way. Claw's far too cagey for that... TD: Was that supposed to be a joke? [Both men leap back to their feet, and the Enigma attacks with a series of kicks again, Claw covers up well, and as the Enigma lashes out with a punch, Claw grabs his arm and attempts an Irish whip. The Enigma reverses it, Claw re-reverses and sends the Enigma crashing face first into the cage wall! Big stunned pop! The Enigma staggers backwards, Claw takes hold with a waistlock and sends the Enigma crashing to the canvas with a back suplex!] TD: And that might be enough to give Claw the victory! [Claw runs across towards the door as the Enigma slowly pushes himself to his feet. The official starts to open the door, and the Enigma staggers over, attempting to catch Claw from behind with an enzuigiri kick! Claw ducks, the Enigma lands on his feet, and dives forward with a clothesline which sends Claw into the corner next to the door! The official closes the door again, as the Enigma takes control with a series of knife-hand chops, before whipping Claw cross-corner.] TD: The Enigma charges in with an elbowsmash... Claw brings his feet up! The Enigma's stunned, Claw leaps to the top turnbuckle... double axehandle! That might do it! [Claw leaves the Enigma down in centre ring, and starts to climb the cage. The crowd at ringside try to encourage the Enigma to get back into the match.] TD: Claw's climbing fast! He might make it! SR: Musushi's getting back up now, though... [The Enigma manages to get back to his feet, and looks around dazedly for Tiger Claw. The crowd yell and point, and Musashi looks up to see Claw almost three-quarters of the way up. The Enigma runs at the cage wall, and dropkicks it hard, and Claw loses his grip with his feet, ending up hanging on by his hands! Big pop!] TD: Quick thinking by the Enigma there! He may just have saved his title! [The Enigma starts climbing, and manages to get a hold of Tiger Claw's foot. Claw tries to kick him off, but the Enigma pulls himself up to an almost equal level. He grabs hold of Claw around the waist...] SR: Now _this_ is gonna be good... TD: Oh my! (Big awed pop from the crowd as the Enigma sends Tiger Claw crashing back down to the canvas in a German superplex from almost 8 feet up the cage! Both men are down in the ring, although Tiger Claw definitely appears to have took the worst of it. Suddenly, there's a big heel pop from the aisle...] SR: Casey James! The World Champ is on his way back down to ringside! TD: There always has to be someone, doesn't there? SR: Hey, he's the champ. Are you gonna argue? [In the ring, the Enigma has managed to get to his feet, and Tiger Claw has rolled to his knees. The Enigma starts to pull Claw up, but Claw lashes out with a front kick, doubling him over, and sends the Enigma down to the canvas with a DDT! Big pop! Claw, not noticing James, starts to climb the cage wall again.] TD: Casey James is trying to get in the ring door. The official's holding him back... SR: And James just throws him out of the way! You gotta love his style! TD: Casey's getting in the ring... the official signals for the bell... [Casey runs across to Tiger Claw, and yanks him back down into the ring by his foot. Big heel pop! Claw spins around, and receives a hard right hand from James that sends him back into the ring wall! James throws another, but Claw blocks and sends the champ staggering back with one of his own.] TD: Tiger Claw now, staggering James with a series of punches... roundhouse kick by Claw... no! Casey catches it! [Casey James pulls Claw out by the foot into centre ring, grinning, and then drops all of his body weight across Claw's shin, and Claw crumples to the canvas, doubling up in pain! Big heel pop!) SR: Yes! You take it to him, Casey! TD: Quiet, Steve, I think Claw's really hurt in there! [Claw rolls over on the canvas, clutching at his leg! Casey looks to be taken aback for a second, then grins and picks up Claw's leg, slamming another elbow down across it! Huge heel pop as Claw howls out in pain! The Enigma, forgotten for the moment, starts to pull himself back to his feet on the other side of the ring, as Casey continues to work over Tiger Claw's injured leg.] TD: Claw looks to be in real pain in the ring... and Casey James is relentless! [The Enigma looks around, sees James in the ring and launches himself across at him! Big crowd pop! James takes the initial barrage of blows, and sends the Enigma spinning to the canvas with a huge clothesline! Big heel pop, which turns into a big face pop as the Subway Psycho bursts onto the scene! James is just pulling a stunned Enigma up into position for a Blackheart punch when the Psycho charges through the cage door with a chair, and James backs off in a hurry! Big crowd pop!] SR: Oh, come on! The Psycho just levelled James with a steel chair! Where's the official? TD: Funny that, Steve, I thought you would've been all for this mindless violence. I guess this is going to be a no-contest... [Casey dives out of the cage door and starts to head backs up the aisle, only for the Psycho to catch him halfway up, and the two start brawling their way back. The Enigma, however, seems much more concerned about Tiger Claw, who still hasn't got up.] SR: Right. The guy's crippled. Get the paramedics. TD: This isn't funny, Steve. Claw could be seriously hurt. Did you see how he buckled when Casey James caught his leg? [An EMT crew rush down to ringside, and the Enigma watches on as they tend to Tiger Claw. The crowd is hushed as they load Claw onto the stretcher, and the Enigma follows them back up the aisle.] TD: We'll try to get some word on Tiger Claw's condition later in the broadcast. Hopefully it won't be too serious... SR: No, hopefully Casey James will have put that putz out for life... TD: I think we're just about ready to go to our next match, which, considering the rivalry between the two, promises to be no less violent an encounter: the Intercontinental Championship match between Marty Warnett and Steve "the Fury" Kowalski. SR: Warnett's gonna pay for leaving Kowalski in the cold last week. The Fury's going to take that title and break every bone in his body in the process. TD: Let's go back up to Sparkplug for the introductions. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP CAGE MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Marty Warnett [c] vs. Steve "the Fury" Kowalski ----------------------------------------------- WRITER: MP [Sparkplug Lee steps back inside the cage and raises his microphone once more.] RA: The following contest is for the IIWF Intercontinental Championship, and is a cage match. The winner is the first man to escape the cage, either through the door, or out over the top. Introducing first, the challenger, weighing in at 268lbs and hailing from Newark, New Jersey, here is Steve "the Fury" Koooowwallsssskiiiiiiii! ["Don't fear the Reaper" by the Blue Oyster Cult starts up over the PA system, and Steve Kowalski appears at the head of the aisle to a massive heel pop. He starts to make his way down the aisle, yelling abuse at the fans.] TD: Look at this guy. He's giving everyone a hard time. SR: Yeah, he's great, isn't he? [As Kowalski walks around ringside, one particularly noisy fan waving a Marty Warnett poster attracts his attention. Kowalski tears the poster off him and rips it up, and the fan makes his opinions on the matter very clear.] SK: Yeah? Sit yer fat redneck ass down, Bubba! SR: [laughing] You tell 'em, Steve! [Kowalski enters the cage, continuing to yell insults at the crowd, as Sparkplug makes the second introduction.] RA: And his opponent... he is the current IIWF Intercontinental Champion.... weighing in at 245lbs and hailing from Cardiff, Wales in the United Kingdom, here is Marrrrttyy Waaaaarrrrnnnneeeettttt! [Big crowd pop, which turns to a big mixed pop as Marty Warnett appears at the head of the aisle, unshaven and wearing street clothes, and more noticeably, carrying a baseball bat.] SR: Well. Isn't this a surprise? Marty's brought a toy with him... TD: This is most unlike Warnett. I guess his personal problems are affecting him in a really big way... [Warnett starts to climb up the ringsteps, and Kowalski complains to the official about the baseball bat. The official goes over to Marty, and tries to take it from him, but Marty shrugs him off, and launches himself at Kowalski, swinging the bat! Kowalski just barely tucks a sweep to a big mixed pop! Marty winds up for another swing, but Kowalski kicks him in the stomach, sending the bat flying! The referee grabs it and leaves the ring, as Kowalski backs Warnett into the corner and begins to go to work with a series of blows to the head.] TD: It's a good job that the referee got hold of that bat when he did! SR: A good job, did you say? I'd like to see what'd happen if Kowalski got hold of it. [Kowalski starts hammering away, raining blows onto Warnett's head. He grabs Warnett by the hair, and tries to slam his head into the turnbuckle, but Marty blocks it with his foot! Big pop! Marty kicks backwards, catching Kowalski in the groin, then slams him head first into the turnbuckle! Huge crowd pop!] TD: This one's getting down and dirty early here! SR: [wolf-whistling] And look who's making their way down to the ring... TD: Oh please, as if Marty didn't have enough problems as it is... [The Lady DeWinter begins to walk apprehensively down to ringside, looking as stunning as always, and still carrying Warnett's rose. In the ring, Warnett continues to slam Kowalski face first into the turnbuckles.] TD: The Lady DeWinter seems to have been mesmerised by Warnett over the past few weeks. Warnett just doesn't need too have to deal with this as well. SR: Then give her here. I'd "deal" with her any time, Dross. TD: Oh brother. You already tried that once, remember? [DeWinter stands in Warnett's corner quietly, watching the match and occasionally glancing around at the crowd. In the ring, Kowalski staggers out of the corner, and Warnett runs up from behind, sending him crashing to the canvas face-first with a bulldog! Big crowd pop! Without wasting any time, Warnett starts to pick Kowalski up by the hair, and receives a headbutt to the stomach! The Fury pushes himself back to his feet, blocks a right hand from Warnett, and lashes out with a big clothesline that sends him spinning to the canvas! Big heel pop!] TD: Kowalski picks Warnett up... scoops him up... fallaway slam! And that winded Warnett! You have to wonder, Steve, whether or not Warnett's preparation for this match was as thorough as usual. SR: I really don't care. He could do all the preparation in the world, but it won't save him from Kowalski. You know, Timbo, the way these two are going at it, you'll wonder whether or not they actually want to leave the cage at all... [Lady DeWinter looks on concerned as Kowalski scoops Warnett back up and sends him crashing back down with a short arm clothesline. As Warnett rolls in pain, Kowalski takes time out to address the fans.] SK: He's the party... I'M THE ANIMAL! [DeWinter lets fly with a torrent of abuse in Kowalski's direction, who notices her for the first time. He grins, and turns his attention back to Warnett, stomping on Warnett's head before turning to gauge DeWinter's reaction. He snickers at her look of horror, and drops down onto Warnett with a chokehold... Warnett kicks and struggles, and Kowalski picks him up, Irish whipping him hard into the cage wall, before holding his hands in the air to a huge heel pop! Kowalski picks Warnett up again, and Warnett dives forwards with a headbutt to the midsection! Big crowd pop, which is cut short as Kowalski smashes a series of axehandle blows into the base of Warnett's neck. Warnett slumps down to the canvas, and Kowalski picks the Party Maniac back up, sending him crashing into the cage wall again.] TD: Kowalski showing a lot of domination here, but neither man has even attempted to escape the cage yet... you may be right about them not wanting to. SR: Heh, well, Warnett can't, and the Fury's just having too much fun to bother! [Kowalski drags Warnett back to his feet again, and takes an elbow to his stomach. In reply, he stuns Warnett with another axehandle blow, before attempting a first Irish whip. Warnett reverses with momentum, sending Kowalski crashing face first into the cage wall and himself to the canvas! Big crowd pop! Both men push themselves back to their feet, and Warnett charges Kowalski, nailing him with a hard lariat to a huge crowd pop! Warnett picks Kowalski up by the hair, Kowalski swings a wild haymaker at him, Warnett ducks and replies with a hard slap that spins Kowalski around! Warnett catches hold of Kowalski's head, and sends him to the canvas in a spinning neckbreaker! Big crowd pop!] TD: Warnett turns for the door, Kowalski grabs his foot and trips him, and Warnett starts stomping away at Kowalski's head from the canvas! This isn't pretty, folks... [Kowalski refuses to let go of Warnett's foot, and both men struggle up to a vertical position. Kowalski waistlocks Warnett, and Warnett starts raining blows down on Kowalski's back, before sending him crashing to the canvas with a hard knee lift. Warnett jumps on the Fury, and starts hammering away at Kowalski's forehead with a flurry of right hands.] TD: This is verging on a street fight in there now! There's no love lost here at all! SR: Well, what do you expect? Kowalski hates anything that walks, even more so when it's Welsh, and Warnett's not the picture of sanity himself at the moment... [Kowalski manages to stun Warnett with a facerake, and pushes himself up as Warnett staggers back. He shakes his head to clear the cobwebs, as does Warnett, and both men run at each other... double clothesline! Big crowd pop!] TD: Both men hit hard there... Warnett could have taken the worst of it, though, simply because Kowalski has more weight behind his clothesline... SR: And a mean streak six miles long. [Both men start to recover, Kowalski getting to his feet first and charging Warnett. Warnett ducks under the attempted clothesline, turns and kicks Kowalski hard in the stomach, and flattens him with a DDT! Big pop! Warnett wastes no time, and heads for the cage wall... Kowalski drags himself to his feet. He looks across at Warnett, and staggers across to the cage wall and starts to climb... The crowd yells at Warnett to hurry, as does the Lady DeWinter. Warnett rolls over and pushes himself to his knees, and DeWinter climbs up to the ring apron, yelling furiously at Warnett to get up... Warnett stumbles to his feet as Kowalski nears the top of the cage, and glances round dazedly. DeWinter yells at him to look up, and he looks at her confused for a second, then sees Kowalski... Suddenly, there's a big heel pop from the aisle, as Lord Byron storms out, a look of anger on his face.] TD: Uh oh. Looks like Byron's finally tired of his ward's antics. SR: Wouldn't you? Can you imagine how embarrassing this is for him, having her lust after some Welsh dolt? TD: But look at Warnett! He's up there after Kowalski like a shot! SR: He's not going to catch him, Dross... Not a chance... [Kowalski has reached the top of the cage, and manages to get one leg over before Warnett catches hold of his other foot... Warnett drops off the cage wall, and Kowalski finds himself caught with one leg on the outside of the cage and the other leg on the inside, with 245lbs of Warnett hanging on to it! Big crowd pop! Kowalski yells out in pain, and frantically tries to swing his other leg back inside... Warnett catches hold of the cage wall again, and climbs up behind Kowalski as he steps back inside the cage. Warnett waistlocks him, and sends him crashing back down into the ring with a superplex.] TD: A superplex from the top of the cage and both men are down! And here comes Byron... [As DeWinter starts yelling at Warnett to get up again, Byron reaches up and pulls her off the ring apron! She looks around shocked, and gets right in Byron's face, and soon both are arguing loudly.] TD: I wish I could hear what's going on over there... [Inside the cage, both men slowly start to show signs of life. Kowalski rolling over and clutching his head, Warnett trying to pull himself over towards the ropes... on the outside, the argument between Byron and DeWinter appears to reach boiling point, and DeWinter lashes out, slapping Byron across the face! Big crowd pop! Byron looks stunned for a second, then snarls and starts yelling at DeWinter, emphasising each point by prodding her hard in the chest with his cane.] TD: Oh come on! Byron wouldn't hit a lady... would he? SR: I would. Maybe she needs to have some sense knocked into her.. SR: Steve! Please! [DeWinter breaks down, and bursts into tears, running back up the aisle. Byron glances around at the ring, where both men are staggering to their feet, snarls, and heads off after DeWinter... In the ring, Warnett advances on Kowalski, who has backed himself into a neutral corner. Kowalski kicks out at Warnett's stomach, doubling him over, and he reverses positions, slamming Warnett's head hard into the turnbuckles, before Irish whipping him cross-ring. Warnett reverses, and Kowalski hits the turnbuckles face first. He staggers back out, and is crushed back into the corner by a body press from Warnett! Big crowd pop!] TD: Warnett now, hoisting Kowalski up and placing him on the top turnbuckle... SR: Kowalski's playing possum. He's got it covered. TD: He looks pretty out of it to me... [Warnett slowly climbs up the turnbuckles after Kowalski, who lashes out at Warnett's stomach. Warnett responds with a flurry of blows to the head, and springs up, catching Kowalski in headscissors...] TD: Warnett with a top-rope frankenst.... no! SR: I told you he was playing possum! Warnett is out! TD: Incredible! Kowalski reversed Warnett's frankensteiner attempt into a piledriver! I have never seen anything quite like that before! [Kowalski pushes himself slowly to his feet, and glances around at the crowd with a sneer, and draws his thumb across his throat... he pulls Warnett up to his knees by the hair, and slaps him in the face...] SK: The name's FURY, punk! Don't forget it! TD: There's no need for this... Kowalski could have this match won now... SR: Yeah? Well, now he's gonna do it in style... [Kowalski pushes Warnett's head into the piledriver position, and underhooks one arm...] SR: Bye-bye, Warnett -- it's SKULLPUMP time! [Warnett braces himself, and grabs hold of the Fury's leg with his free hand, trying to push Kowalski back into the ropes. Kowalski releases the hold on Warnett, and slams a series of axehandle blows into the back of his neck. Suddenly, there's a huge mixed pop from the head of the aisle as the Sandman charges down to ringside wielding a chair.] TD: Oh, come on! Not more interference! [Kowalski picks Warnett back up again, underhooks both arms... and the Sandman bursts through the cage door, sending Kowalski sprawling back down to the canvas with a shot from the chair! Huge crowd pop! The referee calls for the bell as Warnett staggers back up to his feet, looking across at the Sandman suspiciously, as he raises his arms to the crowd. Warnett walks over to him, and pushes him in the back. The Sandman turns, and Warnett yells at him, asking him what he's doing. The Sandman responds by holding his hand out for a handshake, and Warnett shakes his head and turns around. The Sandman smirks, winds up and cracks Warnett hard across the back of the head with the chair! Big heel pop!] TD: Just what is going on here now?! SR: Sandman's gone psycho. [The Sandman leaves Warnett sprawled out in the centre of the ring, and moves over to where Kowalski is pulling himself to his feet, smashing him back down to the canvas with the chair!] TD: Just whose side is this guy on? He saves Warnett, then lays him out, now he's going after Kowalski again? SR: He's on his own side. Kowalski's gonna kill him. [The Sandman throws the chair away, picks Kowalski back up, wraps his hands around the Fury's face and sends him crashing back down to the canvas headfirst in the Nightmare slam! The Sandman spits on Kowalski, and leaves the cage, heading back up the aisle to a huge heel pop, which he ignores completely.] TD: I guess this is going to be another no-contest here. SR: What a complete rip-off. Kowalski should be the champ right now. And when he finds the Sandman, you can bet he'll show him exactly why they call him "the Fury". [Warnett staggers to his feet, leaves the cage, picking up the Intercontinental belt, and starts to head back off up the aisle. Kowalski starts to shrug off the effects of the Nightmare, and leaves the ring as well, heading back up the aisle with a look of rage on his face.] SR: I wouldn't like to be in the dressing room area right now. Forget the Sandman, Kowalski looks ready to take this out on the first person he sees... TD: Fans, before we go up to the ring for tonight's main event, let's go backstage to Larry Morton, who is with IIWF President Daniel Spreadbury. I understand that President Dan has some very important announcements to make. SR: He's resigning? TD: I doubt that very much, Steve. Over to you, Larry. [Cut to the locker room area. Larry Morton stands alongside the IIWF President. He holds up his microphone and smiles to the camera.] LM: Thanks, Tim. I'm here backstage with the IIWF President. Mr. President, thanks for joining us here on air tonight. DS: It's my pleasure, Larry. I regret that the paper-pushing aspects of my job have kept me away from the Coliseum for so long. In a way, the injury of Poutine Janois, the head of the IIWF Special Concerns Committee, is something of a blessing in disguise, since it's forced me to take a more "hands on" role in the smooth running of our live events. LM: Tonight's show has been tremendous. DS: It certainly has, although I'm still concerned at the level of outside interference we are seeing in most matches. LM: Is there any truth to the rumours that you are currently in dispute with the IIWF Executive Committee about your disciplinary policies? DS: I'm not really able to comment on that matter, Larry, but suffice it to say that the IIWF's senior administration doesn't always see eye to eye. I'm working on providing an environment in which the superstars of the IIWF can count on a clean, athletic contest every time they step in the ring. LM: Mr. President, Ring Wars III is just six weeks away tonight, and we already have a tremendous main event scheduled -- Dan Kauffman battling Chris Quigley promises to be the match of the year. DS: It certainly has the potential to be a blockbuster, Larry. But after the events we've seen tonight, I believe another match deserves equal billing at Ring Wars III. Pending the signing of contracts this week, there will be a double main event in the Skydome on March 22! Not only will Chris Quigley battle Dan Kauffman, but IIWF World Heavyweight Champion Casey "Blackheart" James will defend against the Subway Psycho. Stipulations may well be added to this match, and they will have to be negotiated before contracts can be signed. But this match is official. You can take it to the bank. LM: The enmity between Casey and the Psycho is quite formidable -- and now with the unfortunate injury of Tiger Claw... DS: It appears that Tiger Claw has broken his leg just beneath the knee. It's thankfully not a messy multiple fracture, but the reports from his advisers at the hospital suggest that he may well be in a cast for the next eight to ten weeks. The early indications are that we won't be seeing Claw back in the ring for the next two to three months. In any case, I will be reprimanding Casey James suitably for his unprovoked attack on Tiger Claw, I assure you. I can also announce that the IIWF Intercontinental Championship will be on the line at Ring Wars III. Current title-holder Marty Warnett will face Lord Byron one on one in the Toronto Skydome, and I will also state that the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi will defend his Cruiserweight Championship against the White Phoenix. And this will be no ordinary title defense -- this will be the IIWF's first ever Ladder Match! The belt will be suspended above the ring, and in order to win the match, the victor must climb the ladder and grab the belt. LM: That's another incredible match added to the card -- but Mr. President, what I've been dying to ask you is this: is there any truth to the rumours that the recent expansion in the tag team division of the IIWF is due to the imminent introduction of a new tag team championship? DS: Yes, Larry, I can officially confirm here tonight that the IIWF Championship Committee has sanctioned a secondary tag team title. It will be known as the IIWF United States Tag Team Championship, and every team will be eligible to contend for the new belts. The first holders of the championship will be crowned at Ring Wars III as the climax to a tournament for the titles scheduled to begin next Saturday Night. Sixteen teams will battle it out in a single elimination tournament, with the final taking place on March 22 in the Skydome. LM: This news is certain to send a buzz through the tag team ranks, Mr. President. DS: I certainly hope so. I'll be making the brackets public this Wednesday night, and the first two matches will take place next Saturday right here in the Coliseum. I'll also be announcing further matches for Ring Wars III in the next few days, but for now, that's all. LM: Thanks for your time, Mr. President. DS: As always, Larry, it's my pleasure. LM: Back to you at ringside. [Larry shakes hands with the IIWF President as the shot cuts back to the announcers' table. Steve Roberts has a line of empty beer bottles on the table in front of him.] SR: You keep me sitting out here to listen to Barry Morton... TD: That's _Larry_, Steve. SR: You keep me out here to listen to that moron brown-tonguing the IIWF President? TD: Some tremendous announcements made there about the card for Ring Wars III; not least a double main event. It promises to be an incredible night of action, and we're now only six weeks away from hitting the Skydome with the biggest night in IIWF history! Right now, however, we're set to conclude tonight's action with our huge main event -- Dan Kauffman facing Billy Shakespeare inside a steel cage. SR: Yawn. TD: These fans are pumped for this rematch, even if you aren't, Steve. Let's go up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- [MAIN EVENT] CAGE MATCH: -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare vs. Dan "Flash" Kauffman ------------------------------------------------------ WRITER: DS [Sparkplug Lee steps into the ring. The cage casts moving shadows on the canvas and over the announcer as the brightly coloured spotlights overhead swirl in anticipation.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for tonight's main event! [Pop] Two men will enter the cage, and the match will only end when one of them has escaped, either over the top or out of the door, and his feet touch the floor. Introducing first, hailing from Ashland, Oregon, and weighing in at 230lbs, here is a former Cruiserweight and Intercontinental Champion, the man who is "Born To Perform"... "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare! [Huge pop as "Little Willie" starts up over the PA and tragicomedy masks spin in haphazard fashion on the aisleway, cast there by special lighting effects. Rockets erupt at the entranceway and shoot up to the highest point of the Coliseum ceiling, from which shower sparks from other pyrotechnic effects. Billy Shakespeare steps out into the aisle, still wearing a protective head-brace, and bows deeply to his appreciative fans. He heads down to the ring, hi-fiving the eager fans on each side of the aisle.] TD: This man is one of the perennial favourites here in the IIWF. A two-time champion, he's always been one of the most exciting, high-risk and dynamic athletes we've seen, and the fans love him. SR: Pukespeare has always been a thorn in my side, Dross. I'd like nothing more than to see him have his head caved in by Kauffman here tonight. [Billy makes his way into the ring and raises his arms to the crowd, who continue to cheer.] RA: And introducing his opponent... ["Zero" starts up over the PA. Mixed pop] Hailing from Hagerstown, Maryland, and weighing in at 230lbs, here is a former IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, Dan "Flash" Kauffman! [More fireworks erupt as Dan Kauffman, his face clean-shaven once more, his hair pulled back, and his forehead carrying the scars of his match the previous week with Casey James, steps out into the aisle. Some fans jeer him, but many more cheer him as he makes his way down to the ring, hi-fiving the fans who reach out their hands to him.] TD: It seems that this man is winning back his place in the hearts of # these fans here in the Coliseum, Steve. SR: What can I tell you, Dross? These idiots always cheer for the loser, and that's just what Kauffman is. He's all washed up. [Kauffman looks up at the cage, runs a thoughtful hand over his forehead, and then climbs the ringsteps, steps through the door, and vaults over the ropes. The official on the outside waits for Sparkplug Lee to leave the cage before closing the door and locking it.] TD: IIWF head referee Earl Alphonso will be officiating for this encounter, and he's the only man with the key to the lock which holds the door of this cage closed. SR: Yeah, right. Where have I heard that before? [The referee signals for the bell, and the crowd settle. An expectant murmur rises from the fans as Kauffman and Shakespeare square up to one another. Shakespeare extends his hand to Kauffman, and Dan hesitates before reciprocating. The two men shake hands, and then back off, circling one another. Big pop from the crowd.] TD: We're going to see two true sportsmen lock it up here tonight, Steve. SR: Please, Dross! I think I'm going to be sick! [Kauffman and Shakespeare lock up collar and elbow. Kauffman gets the early advantage, slipping Billy into a side headlock, which Billy twists out of, grabbing Kauffman's arm in a hammerlock. Kauffman reaches behind himself with his free arm, and twists himself free, applying an arm-wringer on Shakespeare. Billy flips over backwards to reverse the hold, and then floors Dan with a short-arm clothesline. Pop! Kauffman is quickly back to his feet, and nods at Billy as the two men circle one another once more.] TD: Both individuals feeling the other one out here, Steve. It's a long time since these two men were in the squared circle together. SR: This is boring, Dross. I want more blood! TD: You may be disappointed here, Steve. I think we're going to see both men wrestle a clean match. [Kauffman again takes the advantage from the tie-up, this time pushing Billy into the ropes. Billy ducks under a clothesline attempt, and Kauffman then drops to the mat as Billy returns. Billy comes back from the opposite side once more, and Kauffman hits him with a Mexican hiptoss, throwing Shakespeare across the ring. Billy is straight back up and runs at Kauffman again. Once again, Kauffman hits the hiptoss. Shakespeare comes at Dan for a third time, and this time blocks the hiptoss, firing back with an armdrag takeover of his own. Billy drops on Kauffman and applies a reverse chinlock. Kauffman wriggles to the corner and walks the turnbuckles with his feet to climb into the air, pushing off the top turnbuckle and turning himself loose, splashing Billy to the mat. Pop!] TD: That's one way to get out of a chinlock, Steve. SR: Why didn't he just elbow Pukespeare in the gut, Dross? TD: Well, it doesn't look as flashy, for one thing. [Billy gets up to his feet, and is floored by a standing dropkick from Kauffman. Dan attempts to drop an elbow on Shakespeare, who rolls out of the way and gets to his feet, shaking off the effects of the dropkick. Kauffman gets to his feet and charges at Billy again, who catches him with a waistlock and throws him over behind him with a kind of modified belly-to-belly suplex, stun-gunning Kauffman's throat on the top rope. Big pop! Kauffman goes down, clutching his throat. Billy turns, leaps to the second rope mid-way between the two turnbuckles, and launches himself with a reverse moonsault onto Kauffman! Big pop!] TD: Wow! What a manoeuvre from Shakespeare there! I've not seen him perform a moonsault like that before! SR: I used to do that move all the time in my ring days, Dross. TD: Of course you did. [Shakespeare begins his climb of the cage, egged on by the appreciative fans. He leaps straight to the top rope, then makes headway up the rung-like bars of the cage. He looks down to see Kauffman pulling himself to his feet and climbing up after Billy. The crowd begin to buzz as Shakespeare reaches the top of the cage and puts one leg over to begin the climb down the other side. Kauffman leaps up and grabs hold of Shakespeare's trailing foot, yanking on it and bringing Billy's crotch down hard on the top of the cage. Big gasp from the crowd!] SR: That'll slow you down in a hurry, Dross. TD: Billy could be singing a few octaves higher in the shower for the next few days after that! Kauffman's made his chance -- now he's got to capitalise! [Kauffman climbs up level to Shakespeare, and pulls him over the cage back to the inside. Shakespeare has the presence of mind to nail Kauffman with a hard right hand, and Kauffman loses grip with one hand. He struggles to steady himself, but lashes out with a boot, catching Shakespeare in the midsection. Kauffman hits Shakespeare with another hard right hand, and Billy loses his grip on the cage, falling ten feet into the ring! He lands with a crash! Big pop! Kauffman, however, follows not far behind, having overbalanced with his wild swing. Pop!] TD: Both men down in the ring -- this match has taken a lot out of both combatants in the opening stages here, Steve. Hang on... [the crowd gives a heel pop as a figure appears at the top of the aisle] It's Brody Thunder! The "Lone Wolf" is here! SR: This is the man who's responsible for Shakespeare wearing that ridiculous headgear, thanks to putting him through a table a couple of weeks ago. That's only the beginning of what little Willie can expect from the Lone Wolf, Dross. TD: Perhaps Thunder's out here watching Kauffman, Steve. He's made no secret of the fact that he'd like to face the "Flash" before he retires at Ring Wars III. SR: Either way, Dross, Thunder could kick the tails of both of these losers clear across the state at the same time. Maybe that's what he's out here to do. [Thunder holds his ground at the top of the aisle, chomping on a cigar, his hat brim pushed far enough back for him to watch the two men in the ring as they each fight to their feet. A slugfest erupts in the centre of the ring, with Shakespeare blocking a hard right from Kauffman and firing back with a hard punch of his own. Kauffman staggers backwards, and Billy bounces off the ropes, launching himself with a flying fist which knocks Dan to the mat. Billy climbs to the top turnbuckle, and begins climbing up the corner of the cage to a big pop as Kauffman picks himself up, groggily checking his nose to see if it is broken. He looks up to see Billy half-way up the fifteen foot cage. He takes a few steps towards the corner, and is then knocked flat to the canvas by a Curtain Call executed from half-way up the cage! Huge pop!] TD: Oh my! What a move from Shakespeare there! He just hit the Curtain Call from the side of the cage! It's over right here -- all Shakespeare has to do is get to that door! SR: That move took a lot out of both men, Dross. I don't think Pukespeare has enough in him to get to the door. [After a few moments, Billy begins crawling towards the door in the opposite corner. Alphonso, the referee, pulls out his key and unlocks the padlock on the bolted door. Shakespeare nears the door, and Alphonso holds it open. The crowd cheer Billy on as Kauffman suddenly flings himself at Shakespeare's feet, dragging him back into the centre of the ring. Pop! Alphonso slams the cage door shut once more as the two men drag themselves to a vertical base once more. Kauffman tries to whip Shakespeare into the ropes, but Billy reverses and sends Kauffman for the ride. Kauffman comes back at Billy and tries to hit him with a spinkick, but Billy's reactions are sufficiently fast enough to catch Kauffman's foot. Pop! However, Dan then executes a textbook enzuigiri on Shakespeare, catching him flush at the base of the skull, and Billy drops to the mat like a sack of potatoes. Huge pop! Now it's Kauffman's turn to drag himself to the door. Alphonso once again slides the bolt open.] TD: Kauffman's just seconds away from winning this match! I think he knocked Billy out cold with that enzuigiri -- remember that Shakespeare's head is still injured. SR: I sure hope it's terminal. TD: That's not nice, Steve. Look at this! Kauffman's half-through the ropes, and he's got one foot on the top ringstep! We have a winner -- no! Shakespeare, from behind! [Shakespeare nails Kauffman from behind with a clubbing blow to the back of the head, and drags Kauffman back into the ring. Alphonso slams the door shut once more. Shakespeare backs Kauffman up against the corner, and begins pounding him with a series of punches. The crowd chants along: "One! Two! Three! Four! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! Nine! Ten!". Billy steps back, and Kauffman staggers out into the ring. Shakespeare snapmares Kauffman across to the opposite corner, then leaps over him, hops up onto the second buckle, and launches himself with a splash on the former IIWF World Champion. Big pop! Shakespeare pulls himself back to his feet once more, and begins climbing the cage again. However, this time Kauffman is more quickly on his tail, and before Shakespeare can even get a hand on the top of the cage, Kauffman has grabbed hold of his foot. Kauffman climbs up behind Billy, and hooks Shakespeare's arm around his neck. Both men struggle to get a dominant position, and then both suddenly topple over backwards, falling back into the ring. Kauffman manages to shift his weight as the two men plummet, and lands hard on top of Shakespeare in the centre of the ring. Huge pop! He rolls away from Billy, and both men lie on the canvas, their chests heaving.] TD: This is an incredible encounter, Steve! You can't fail to be impressed at the risks both men are willing to take here. SR: I can be impressed by whatever I damned well choose, Dross. Soundbite has spoken. [Kauffman drags himself to his feet using the ropes, and points to the top of the cage. The crowd, who are warming to him once more, cheer their encouragement as Kauffman begins his slow climb towards the top. Cameras flash all over the arena as the former champion puts hand over hand, foot over foot, making steady progress up the wall of the cage. Shakespeare rolls over onto his knees as Kauffman gets a hand on the top of the cage. He looks up and sees his opponent escaping, and begins his desperate climb in pursuit. Kauffman gets one leg over the top of the cage, and then the other. He begins to climb down the other side as Shakespeare reaches the top on the inside. Shakespeare reaches down and grabs Kauffman by the hair. Big pop!] TD: Kauffman has a choice right now -- jump to the floor and lose his hair, but win the match, or keep his hair and bide his time. SR: This thing about losing hair bugs you, doesn't it, Dross? TD: Not at all. Hey, look at that! SR: Don't try and change the subject... baldy! TD: Take that back, Steve. SR: Heh. Not likely... slaphead! [With the added leverage, Billy manages to force Kauffman to climb back up towards the top of the cage once more. Finally, both men stand head to head, fifteen feet up in the air, facing each other on opposite sides of the steel cage. Kauffman lashes out with a right hand, which Shakespeare blocks, and fires back with a punch of his own. Kauffman sags, and Shakespeare capitalises, grabbing Kauffman and setting him up for a suplex. The crowd buzz in anticipation.] TD: You're kidding me! Shakespeare isn't going to suplex Kauffman all the way from the top of the cage to the canvas! [Shakespeare brings Kauffman over the top of the cage, and both men fall all the way to the canvas more than ten feet away! Cameras flash all over the arena! Huge pop!] TD: Incredible! Both men are laid out on the canvas here... What a match! [The fans start chanting for the two men in encouragement, and the crowd even begins stamping rhythmically on the floor of the Coliseum. The chanting and stamping grows in pitch and speed as both men begin to stir.] TD: Listen to these people, Steve! I can hardly hear myself think! SR: What did you say, Dross? These morons are shouting so loud, I can't hear myself think! [Watched all the while by Brody Thunder from the top of the aisle, Kauffman and Shakespeare slowly drag themselves to their feet. They begin to slug it out in the centre of the ring once more. Kauffman whips Shakespeare into the ropes, and then sends him flying with a monkey flip. Shakespeare flips over the ropes on the other side of the ring and hits his head hard on the steel cage. Stunned, he topples backwards, and appears to be out cold on the canvas. Mixed pop!] TD: I don't think Kauffman meant to send Shakespeare into the cage then, but Billy seems to be out cold. Now's the time for Kauffman to make his break! [Kauffman begins his slow climb up the wall of the steel cage yet again as Shakespeare still lies motionless on the mat. Dan clears the ropes of the ring, and continues methodically up the cage wall. The fans begin to chant, "Bil - ly! Bil - ly! Bil - ly!", and the fans' encouragement seems to stir Shakespeare. He drags himself to his feet, and also starts climbing the cage. A good twenty seconds behind Kauffman, he has a lot of ground to cover.] TD: Both men are climbing the cage on opposite sides of the ring -- Kauffman has a big head-start on Billy, but it's not over yet. [Kauffman reaches up to put one hand on the top of the cage, and slips slightly, one of his feet failing to catch in one of the bars of the cage, and he tumbles down, catching himself. Suddenly, on opposite sides of the ring, Shakespeare and Kauffman are back on an even footing, and both men continue their desperate climb to the top of the ring. Both men place one hand on the top of the cage within a second of each other. The crowd noise grows with every passing second. Both men manage to hoist one leg over the top of the cage within a second of each other.] TD: We're just seconds away from a winner here, Steve! It's fifteen feet from that cage to the arena floor -- the man whose feet touch the floor first is going to be the winner here! SR: The winner is going to be the man who jumps and breaks both his legs, Dross! There's nothing in it right now! TD: Listen to this crowd, Steve Roberts! This is incredible! [Both men get their second legs over the top of the cage within seconds of each other. For the first time since they started their climb, Kauffman's eyes meet Shakespeare's. The two men seem to hesitate, and one for a split-second longer than the other -- Shakespeare lets go of the cage, and falls twelve feet to the arena floor, followed only a moment later by Kauffman. Huge pop! Ding! Ding! Ding!] TD: Wow! That was close! We have a winner -- but who was it? [On opposite sides of the ring, Shakespeare and Kauffman both lay flat out on the floor, exhausted by their effort. Alphonso leaves his position at the door of the cage, and walks around the ring to where Shakespeare lies. He raises Billy's arm to a huge pop!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner: "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare! TD: Steve Roberts, I can't recall seeing a more nailbiting finish to a match here in the IIWF! The atmosphere in here is electric! What a war that was... ["Little Willie" starts up over the PA system again. At the head of the aisle, Thunder smiles and nods his head slightly. He turns to leave when someone hands him a piece of paper. Thunder stares at the person, then reads the piece of paper. He then starts to chuckle to himself. He turns and heads back to the locker room.] TD: Thunder has left the aisle... I understand Larry Morton is just behind the entrance curtain. Larry? [Larry Morton is standing by awaiting to interview Brody Thunder. After a few seconds Thunder walks into camera shot, still holding the piece of paper that was handed to him. Larry Morton begins...] LM: Brody Thunder... can you tell us why you were out there watching that match? Were you looking to get an advantage on Billy Shakespeare? BT: Heheheh... ol' Billy-boy was in a tough one tonight weren't he? Yessir... but soon he's gonna get himself a little dose o' pain and agony called Brody Thunder. Shakespeare... that table I put you through was just an appetizer. An' when the main course gets here ya better be ready and have yer insurance paid in full, son. In fact... you may have to retire _before_ ol' Dan Kauffman. An'that's another thing, Morton... who's to say I wasn't getting an advantage on that pretty-boy Kauffman? Kauffman's even come out an' said he's gonna face me here sometime before he hangs up his boots. That's suits me just fine because I'm tired o' bein' the dirt instead o' the shovel 'round here. Last Saturday night I defeated a tough guy by the name Of Tiger Claw, remember? He ain't exactly chopped liver here in the IIWF, y'know? Now it's time to take the next step. So Mr Quigley... "Quickstrike"... or whatever the hell ya call yerself... if ya want a healthy Kauffman at Ring Wars III then ya better talk him outta steppin' 'tween those ropes with the Lone Wolf. Cuz as sure I'm standin' here talkin', I plan on puttin' that boy out o' this business. Danny-boy... this ain't no farewell party yer gonna be comin' to when we hook up. It's gonna be more like a funeral. I ain't just shootin' my mouth off here, son, I'm tellin' ya straight up. That world strap is what I'm destined for. Sooner or later, it's gonna be mine. That ain't braggin' my friend. That's a fact that's about to happen. LM: Yes, well, thank you for your time. We have to get back out to ring... [Thunder grabs Larry's hand with the mic and holds it back up to talk.] BT: I-AIN'T-FINISHED-YET. [Larry composes himself and holds the mic up for Thunder.] BT: Have ya seen this? [Thunder shows Larry the piece of paper. Larry quickly glances at it then nods his head.] BT: Is it fer real? [Larry shrugs his shoulders.] BT: Heh... this is a beaut. Well, Watkins... that's right, I'm talkin' to you, "Mad Dog". If ya want some competition son, ya don't have to advertise fer it. Cuz standin' right here is 267 pounds o' competition who ain't afraid to lace 'em up an' get it done, if ya know what I mean. I've seen ya... yer tough. That's a natural fact ...but yer lookin' at the man who's that much tougher. Ya don't have to have my John Hancock on this piece o' crap to consider this ad answered, my friend. I'll accept yer challenge. But if ya come lookin' fer the Lone Wolf, yer gonna find I'm an equal opportunity tailkicker, son. Like I've said a hundred times before, I ain't a hard man to find... [Thunder sticks a cigar in his mouth an' lights it.] BT: ...I'm just a hard man to beat. [Thunder walks off ripping up the contract and snickering to himself.] LM: Back to you at ringside. [Cut back to ringside. Billy Shakespeare has pulled himself to his feet, and he walks gingerly around the ring to where Dan Kauffman still lies on the floor, his hands covering his face. Billy extends his hand to Kauffman to help him up.] TD: Thanks, Larry. We have a tense situation out here at ringside just in front of us, folks. Will Kauffman accept Billy's sportsmanlike gesture. SR: Kick his ass, Kauffman! Prove to me that you've still got what it takes! [Kauffman looks up at Shakespeare, and after a few moments of hesitation, accepts Shakespeare's hand. Billy helps Kauffman to his feet, and the two embrace to a huge pop. Billy raises Kauffman's hand, and Kauffman returns the gesture as fireworks explode above the ring. Kauffman and Shakespeare make a circuit of the ring, hi-fiving the ringside fans. Over these shots come the voice of Tim Dross:] TD: Fans, what a display of sportsmanship by these two incredible athletes! We've seen some tremendous action here tonight on this special "Rage in the Cage" edition of IIWF Saturday Night, but we're right out of time. We'll be coming right back at you with the comments of the IIWF superstars with our new Monday Musings show, and there will be more wrestling action this Wednesday night in the War Room. Of course, we'll also be back next Saturday Night with another fantastic line-up of live action. As the fans here celebrate the show put on by Dan Kauffman and Billy Shakespeare in tonight's main event, this is Tim Dross, for "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, saying: so long, everybody! [Kauffman and Shakespeare begin to make their way up the aisle, continuing to be embraced by the eager hands of the fans on both sides as fireworks still explode over the caged ring. Fade] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+