##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== M + O + N + D + A + Y M + U + S + I + N + G + S ----------------------------------------------- February 10, 1997 ************************************************************************** -------------------- IIWF SATURDAY NIGHT RESULTS ----------------------- ************************************************************************** FEBRUARY 8, 1997 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ PAIN INC. def. THE ZODIAC CONNECTION CHRIS QUIGLEY def. JOE PETROW PROPHETS OF RAGE def. THE PLAYERS' CLUB THE WHITE PHOENIX def. DEATHBRINGER THE DARK DISCIPLES def. DOMINATION OTTO VERHOEVEN def. THE SUBWAY PSYCHO BILLY SHAKESPEARE def. DAN KAUFFMAN NO CONTEST: MARTY WARNETT vs. STEVE KOWALSKI NO CONTEST: TAKEZO MUSASHI vs. TIGER CLAW ************************************************************************** ----------------- WRESTLERS SPEAK: THE FLASH FORUM --------------------- ************************************************************************** BILLY SHAKESPEARE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Billy Shakespeare stands in the IIWF interview arew after Saturday's cage match] BS: If I weren't Billy Shakespeare, I would be Dan Kauffman. Though I won this match, I dare not claim to be the better man. I call chicken any wrestler who claims Kauffman is not the finest wrestler to grace this league... and that seems to be a few more than can back it up. But what of Billy Shakespeare? He has proved he can still wrestle with the best... the time has come for the IIWF to remember why I am 'Born to Perform.' Indeed 'tis time to right some past wrongs: Acorn, Kowalski, Thunder, your time before the footlights draws nigh. DAN KAUFFMAN ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Dan Kauffman stands in the IIWF interview area] DK: A loss to Billy Shakespeare. It's disappointing, to say the least, but Billy is a fantastic wrestler. I hesitated too long come the end, and he hit the ground first. Give all the credit in the world to him. He won the match, and I congratulate him for that. I'm not too down on myself, I've still got a few matches left, and this is no time to start packing it in. I said I wanted to wrestle the best, and when you do that, you lose a few in the process. I'm working myself back into shape the best way I know how, and come Ring Wars III, I'll be ready and at peak form. But let me say this... the past three matches have shown me that I can't overlook anyone. Quigley is six weeks away, and I can't be thinking of him right now. Whoever my next opponent is, good luck. I'll be ready for another war, and we'll see who's the better man that night. Now where's Billy? I hear he has some champagne back in his locker room, and I'm thirsty... OTTO VERHOEVEN ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Otto Verhoeven and Nurse Heidi stand in the IIWF interview area. "The Butcher" has a serious look on his face.] OV: On Saturday, I once and for all proved that I am superior than the Subway Psycho. All these months of bitter, hard-fought battles finally found their epic end, and the superior man came out on top. I have to admit that he put up a good fight, for an American sewer rat, but in the end he fell victim to the Meathook. NH: And please, do not complain that Herr James appeared during that match, after all, he only stopped you from using that foreign object on my liebling. OV: Ja, thanks, Casey. I am sure you will be more than able to deal with that trash-eating fool at Ring Wars III. NH: [smiling] Oh, and if you are going to visit Munich in the future you just _have_ to visit the new "Verhoeven"-wing of the Goldstein museum. It will be a beauty. SUBWAY PSYCHO ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SP: [Pausing and rubbing his face in a sign of frustration] Let me first say that I want to apologize to everyone counting on me to win them that purse. I let a lot of people down. If Otto keeps his word and gives it to Holocaust victims like he said he would, that would definitely take the sting out of losing it. I hope he keeps his word. I had really hoped that Otto and I could have settled our differences without incident. That didn't happen. Otto, as far as I'm concerned we're still one and one...but now I have to take up the cause against James. Now the IIWF suits have a funny way of doing math. I lose a match and get a shot at the title... whatever, so be it. If they want me to take down Casey, I'll do it. It'll be my pleasure. But you'll really have to excuse me now, I have to go check on Claw. I owe Casey a bit of pay back for him, too. DOMINATION ~~~~~~~~~~~ [Domination are in the IIWF interview area just after the loss against The Dark Disciples. Dani Jarvier is storming around the set and Monster is banging his head against the wall. Mistress is trying to get them both to calm down.] DJ: I can't believe this. I totally cannot believe this. How could we lose? How? MO: Roaaaarrr DJ: No way. No way am I accepting that as a reason. MI: We were better than them. No doubt about it. Dani, you did a great job. DJ: Of course I did. But I didn't do my best. Next time... next time we will get them. Cage matches aren't my thing, you know. MI: They're giving the next title shot to the Zodiac Connection. DJ: So when do we get our next shot then? MI: Very soon, I'm sure of it. In the meantime, we'll continue to prove ourselves against other teams. MO: Roaaaarrrrr. [Mistress and Jarvier glare at him] MO: Roaaaar? MI: No. No there "isn't always the US title". You know we aren't entering that event, don't you? DJ: Only the World tag titles are worthy of us, big guy. We're not going to waste our time messing around in some secondary tournament. We only settle for the best, and nothing less. Unlike RSR. MI: Leave them for now. They have decided to take their own path. A dark path, with dark friends. DJ: I knew they were losers the moment I saw them. Why the hell did you hang around with them in the first place? MI: They were good people... once upon a time. DJ: Yeah, well, that's how all fairy stories start. This one certainly seems to be grim. MI: We face some stern tests ahead of us. Our closest friends have turned, and we are being shunned by the IIWF decision makers. Are we strong enough to get over these set-backs and claim the world titles? DJ: You betcha. MO: Roaaaaaar. MI: That's exactly what I like to hear. THE WHITE PHOENIX ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [The White Phoenix and Sun Tsi are in the interview area. A fresh cut on Chow's forehead is clearly visible.] WP: Finally, the power of the Path of Inferno has been proven. Deathbringer, you gave me my greatest challenge yet. And you have earned my respect, as I hope I have earned yours. If you wish to join forces to rid the IIWF of the scum known as Serge Annis, say the word. ST: And, in but a short time, my student will have the chance to destroy Musashi and take the belt which is rightfully his. Glory shall be ours! JOE PETROW ~~~~~~~~~~~ [Sychosys is wearing the same outfit he had on during his match.] JP: Hey, sorry Chris, I got a bit confused. I thought this was the "Quicker Picker Upper" match, where you try to get your opponent to absorb as much liquid with his body as possible! But that wouldn't as stupid as your rules now, would it? Anyhow, congratulations on being embarrassed by Sychosys and the World's champ on the same night. That's quite an accomplishment even for you. Allah! You think you're more of a dirty bastard than that!? I know Medusa is, but the Sychopaths and I wanna know more about you! Hell hath no fury like a Petrow scorned, and the future IIWF United States Tag-Team Champions [points to himself] are gonna be the cause of your final hangover! [slams down mic] G.W.R ~~~~~~ [Spoiler and Loco stand in the interview area, flanked by Kane and the bodyguard. He looks down and then takes a microphone.] SP: First things first. [he pauses] It's official. There's going to be a tournament to decide who the first IIWF U.S. tag champs are going to be. [he pauses] We're in it. [he pauses again] And, come March 22nd, Ring Wars III in the Skydome, we'll still be in it. We're going to win this thing. [he pauses again] Secondly, now that we've got the important things out of the way, the W & W Express seem to want to throw money about. Well, if you want to pay someone to beat you up... [another pause] you're looking in the wrong place. I'm sure someone around here will be able to direct you... [another pause] If, however, you want the wrestling lesson of your life, we'll gladly oblige. MAD DOG WATKINS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [The 6'5" solidly built black man stands with his left side turned to the camera, and has his left hand over his mouth, trying to suppress a smile. He turns to the camera and begins to talk in his low, gravely voice.] MD: You know, Spreadbury must be soilin' his pants right now. He goes outta his way to come to Detroit to convince ol' Mad Dog to lace the boots back up, this time for the IIWF. And once he gets me here, no one is too happy about it. I guess my reputation precedes me... And now, since the booking committee couldn't find anyone man enough to step in the ring with me, I've made the IIWF stand up and take notice - and still wrestlers duck my challenge. Except for Creed...or have you decided to tuck your tail and run as well, pup? You got an eyeful of Mad Dog, and you thought better of it, didn't you? Why don't you answer, son? Pick up the microphone and tell me your beef, or is it that you just are too afraid of what might happen if you do? I'm sure Spreadbury is more than happy enough to keep you off the microphone, and to keep the "IIWF's Wrestler of the 21st Century" out of the hospital. Wouldn't want the old guard destroying the replacements before their finished building 'em up, now would they? And I see that finally, someone wants to take ol' Mad Dog seriously. Brody Thunder...one tough son of a gun from Texas. You surprise me, boy - not that you are man enough to accept my challenge...no, you might just be the toughest son of a gun in this fed 'sides me. You surprise me because I respect you. You ain't some punk rookie or some hotshot from another fed trying to make a name for yo'self by messing with the Dog. You got your name and you got your rep in the IIWF, and it's about as big and as bad as you are. But you want to put it on the line against me... Fair enough. Let's get in on... REQUIEM ~~~~~~~~ [Requiem is playing The Music Of The Unknowingly Damned in the interview area. His soft voice carries over the mournful music.] REQUIEM: There is a man here in the IIWF who wears the black and somber garb of a hangman. But this man does not dispense lawful justice. This man dwells in the darkness, and this I cannot endure. Hangman, I will be in the ring this week. Seek me out. Come to me, let me stare into your soul. We will see if you can be redeemed, or if you must face... the Final Lament. "OUTLAW" J.W. HARDIN ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Hardin stands with his back to the camera, his hands toying with a rope hidden by his body. He slowly turns and displays a noose.] JWH: So the games are over and the Players' Club finally decided to stand on their own feet. No more Kauffman to worry about. Fine. That's the way it oughta be. Dynamite, Reyna... if you boys are gonna be a part of this, you're gonna have to hold your own. Takin' down the Syndicate ain't gonna be an easy task, but it sure will be a helluva lotta fun. So get ready... 'cause the fun starts this week! STEVE KOWALSKI ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [The New Jersey Nightmare steps in front of the camera in the IIWF interview area] SK: I'm feelin' like it's me 'gainst the world. _Twice_, I've had the IC belt slip away. If it's not a chicken[BLEEP] champ or the IIWF suits, it's some punk tryin' to cash in on my fame. 'Cause ya know, Sandman ain't sellin' any tickets. Spreadbury already signed the Byron/Warnett match for Ring Wars III, just as I was getting robbed. Or did Danny have that match signed before Rage in the Cage! I really don't know what the hell is goin' on, but I know one thing. Sandman... I'm gonna send you on a joyride to HELL! Hell hath no Fury like Kowalski! MR. DAMAGE ~~~~~~~~~~ [Mr. Damage stands in the IIWF interview area] MD: In Melbourne, we have had the worst heatwave in 10 years -- over 38 degrees for 7 days. The heat is just going up and up. And I am turning up the heat on the Real Deal. Luke Steele, I have beaten you once and I am going to beat you again and again and again. That chair to the head last Wednesday was just the beginning. Frankly, I am sick of the sight of you and I am going to put you away for good. I don't even believe that your "considered ally" the American Patriot would even take that tainted win. It just goes to show that Americans are as dirty as the rest of us. It is not all apple pie, is it Real Deal? I challenge you to any style match you want you choose. Real Deal, early this year I said as part of my New Years Resolutions that I would win a championship and end a few careers while I was at it. So far I am unbeaten in 1997 and there are still 10 months to finish you off for good. CASEY JAMES ~~~~~~~~~~~ [Casey James stands alone in the IIWF interview area] CJ: Well, well. Claw, you found out why it's even harder to get out of the Syndicate than it is to get in. Brian doesn't like his guys to desert him like you did, and frankly, neither do I. Claw, you taught me a lot, and I respect that. But then you turned on the man who took me in, the man who gave me access to the greatest hand-to-hand combat knowledge in the world, the man who helped me get _this_ belt. In effect, you turned on me. To be honest, Claw, I feared you for a bit there. A typical teacher/student relationship. After Saturday night, after I took you out of action, I see you for what you really are. A little man who can't cope without the guidance of Brian Lau. Now I've got to face the Subway Psycho at Ring Wars III. I know you'll be instrumental in Psycho's training, Tiger Claw, but it doesn't matter. I don't want to lose this belt, and I know what I have to do to keep it. If you'll excuse me now, I've got some things to do. [Casey walks off of the set.] TIGER CLAW ~~~~~~~~~~ [Claw hobbles to the interview area on crutches, a cast from just below the knee on his right leg to his toes.] TC: My chance for glory... snuffed out like a small flame. I could have been the next Cruiserweight champion... I could have been victorious in what was one of the best matches I've been in. I could have defeated Takezo Musashi with honor and wear that belt with respect and pride, much like Musashi has. But then the tendrils of Brian Lau's corruption made their way into my match, and Casey James attacked me viciously. My leg is broken. While the bone was being set and the cast being put on, I thought of karma, I thought of the balance we must maintain. This leg is my payment to that balance. I did many things I regretted in my past, and most of those things were done while I was in the Syndicate. Isn't it ironic that the hand of fate acts through those with which I committed my crimes? However, harsh though my punishment may be, my atonement is not complete. I have heard that Casey James will face the Subway Psycho for the world title at Ring Wars III. I will train the Psycho in the ways of the warrior, and those of the Syndicate. The Subway Psycho will not be caught unawares by the antics of Lau and his cronies. Lau, James, the hand of fate will act through me when it comes time for _you_ to pay your cosmic debt. You have been warned. COLD SPELL ~~~~~~~~~~ [Icehawk and Edmund Fitzgerald on the W & W Express making a $50,000 open contract challenge] IH: Geez, guys... all you had to do was ask us for a match. We were looking for a tuneup match for the US Tag Tournaments anyway. There really was no need to pay us $50,000 to beat you. But we can always use the money. I could take a vacation in Hawaii, or buy that new BMW. EF: [sarcastically] Or you could buy a present for the new love of your life - the one that you are drooling over while I'm scouting the teams we might face in the tournament. IH: [blushing] Hey! Don't bring her into this - just because you don't care about anything but wrestling! EF: I've told you many times, son. You can not survive what you do not understand. And Express, be assured that if the time comes, we will understand you better than you understand yourselves. OUTLAW JOSEY WALES [FOR THE HIGH PLAINS DRIFTERS] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ JW: [Takes a drag on his cigar and blows the smoke into Dross' face] Maybe you're wondering where the Drifters are. Not that it's any of your business, but I sent the boys down to Mexico. They needed a week or so of some good siesta time. Cheap liquor and sassy Mexican women is just what my boys needed. They're riding their steeds back now as we speak. Then I intend to get them back into shape... by working hard in the gym and on the track. I intend to get them back on top real soon. Y'all haven't seen the last of the Drifters, not by a long shot. NIGHT PATROL ~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Brenda Hawkings and her men stand in the IIWF Interview area] DK: [Singing] ...'cause Saturday night's all right for fighting, get a little action in... BH: [laughing] Yes, truly a glorious occasion for wrestling as a whole with the unification of two of the sport's hottest teams today. Scorpio and Taurus, too bad about your loss. DK: But there are other things to discuss as well... first off, the Syndicate retains the tag belts. JB: I know we didn't exactly get off on the right foot Disciples... but you do know that every team is gunning for gold. Well, we've got the U.S. belts to concentrate on now, and you're taking care of those straps pretty well right now. You'll get no problem from us. BH: Oh, and Becky, my dear sister... how was your Sunday drive? DK: And we also heard [fake tears, joined in by the rest of the group] the sad story...of the W & W Express!... oh, those poor, poor fellows... [faux crying continues] No one will give them a title shot after only one loss... [breaks out of it] HEY! This is the IIWF! Nothing comes easy! You've gotta fight your way to the top, and an 0-1 record isn't the way! Of course, you scum have never worked a day in your lives. BH: Men, what I can't understand is... how exactly did they obtain $50,000 to give to the next team that beats them? Obviously not through legitimate means... I want a full investigation, NOW! JB: And we made our excellent endorsement debut for the IIWF. Say, wanna hear my version of Barry White's "Love Man" on the Karaoke Album? BH: NO! DK: Oh, yes, Roberts... I know this isn't a Porsche, but we'll make it up to our law-abiding supporter. In the meantime... [he displays a wad of traffic tickets and rips them to shreds] ...don't worry about that court date! +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+