##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== W + E + D + N + E + S + D + A + Y W + A + R R + O + O + M ----------------------------------------------- + 12 February 1997 + [Fade through to a darkened studio: two figures sit at opposite ends of a curved desk, behind which a large video wall, made up of a number of individual television screens, fades into life, each screen showing highlights from a different recent IIWF match. The studio lights rise, and the figures are revealed to be announcers Tim Dross and Becky LaRue. Dross looks up from his papers and speaks:] TD: Hello, folks, and welcome once again to the War Room! I'm Tim Dross, and beside me, as always, is my broadcast colleague, the beautiful Becky LaRue. How's the Porsche, Becky? BL: It's not a bad little run-about, Timmy. I'll have to take you for a ride someday. TD: Er... BL: In the car, you sad little man. TD: Right. Fans, we're still feeling the aftershocks of last Saturday's special "Rage in the Cage" event, where we saw some battles which will surely go down in IIWF history as among the best of all time. Dan Kauffman was narrowly defeated by Billy Shakespeare in an incredible cage match, the White Phoenix scored a phenomenal upset over Deathbringer, the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi and Tiger Claw put on an incredible display -- which was unfortunately interrupted by IIWF Champion Casey James, who broke Claw's leg, putting him out of action for the next six to eight weeks. Speaking of Casey James, the Champion, along with "Sychosys" Joe Petrow, embarrassed Chris Quigley on Saturday Night. Quigley, who is headed for the biggest match of his career against Dan Kauffman at Ring Wars III, requested an interview on Monday. I went to meet him to get his thoughts on the events of the weekend, and his perspective on his battle at Ring Wars III. [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier This Week." Chris Quigley, wearing blue jeans, a black sweatshirt, a blue jean jacket, and shades, is walking along a beach as the sun is setting. A slight drizzle is falling from the sky, but it doesn't seem to bother Quigley, as he keeps on strolling. He bends down, picks up a flat stone from the sand, and skips it along the water, and continues walking. Then Quigley stops, looks around until he spots a large rock, then he walks over and sits down, and rolls up his sleeve slightly to glance at his wrist watch. Tim Dross, for once out of uniform, has a blue baseball cap on as he walks over a steep enbankment to the beach. As he makes his way over the bank and reaches the sandy ground below, he spots Quigley a few metres away, sitting on a rock, deep in thought. Dross walks over to where Quigley is, and is about to sit down, when Quigley stands up instead. He nods an acknowledgement at Dross, and then signals for him to start.] TD: Chris, this last month or so has been a wild ride for you, undeniably. I don't think I've ever seen a more sought-after superstar in the IIWF in all my life. You don't exactly keep a low profile, of course, but it seems that lately, everyone wants a piece of you. Can you first recount the events of Saturday Night, since you were silent for Monday Musings? [Quigley brushes some windblown hair out of his eyes...] CQ: What happened on Saturday Night was just the latest in a long line of frustrations, attacks, and miscalculations on my part. These last few weeks have been nothing less than hell, Dross. I had to come here to get away from it for a while. Take a breather. Relax. Maybe you could use it too. The fact is, on Saturday Night, Joe Petrow used every excuse in the book to avoid fighting me. That's fine. I was willing to give him a chance to wrestle in the biggest IIWF match in history, and he chose not to accept it. He can quote Petrow 3:16 till he's blue in the face. Petrow ran on Saturday Night, because he knows he's not as good as I am, and he never will be as a good as I am. And _that_, my friend, is the bottom line! TD: Of course, then you had trouble with Casey James right after the match. Not to mention some of Petrow's so-called fans. CQ: The IIWF has gone to the dogs, and there is no other way of putting it. I've got to question whoever's bright idea it was to have Casey James at ringside, especially during my match. Anybody with half a brain could figure out he'd attempt something. And as far as the "Sychopaths" go, they shouldn't be allowed within a hundred feet of an IIWF arena! Petrow's sick enough as it is. We don't need a bunch of mentally disturbed wannabes throwing things at us while we're performing. In fact, I'm damn sick and tired of it. Let me just tell you that the next time one of the "Sychopaths" decides to throw an object at me, or lay their hands on me, or anything of that nature, I _promise_ you I will reach over the guardrail, haul that person right out of their seat, and shove my fist down their throat. They buy a ticket and they think that makes them magically tough or something? Guess again. TD: Attacking fans is a drastic measure, Chris! Although I might add, that if properly provoked, wrestlers are allowed to defend themselves with physical force. CQ: Well what the hell could they possibly do, Dross? Kurt Manning is here, supposedly working as a member of the broadcast team, but everyone knows he's just waiting for the right moment to step into the ring. He attacked me on Wednesday War Room, and just because he somehow brings in a few extra ratings, he gets off with a slap on the wrist and a friendly, "Try not to do it again." I hate to use the cliche that the inmates are running the asylum, but that's exactly the case. And I don't know if you've noticed, but myself and Dan Kauffman are the ones paying the price for it. Neither of us are doing well right now, and it's due in no small amount to the garbage going on around us. I just think it's time some people realize that throwing every rule and regulation out the window is something that I'm very capable of, and something that I welcome if need be! I've had Deathbringer, Casey James, Kurt Manning, and Joe Petrow on my ass, to name a few, and I've had enough of it. Dan Kauffman vs. Chris Quigley is losing all its billing, all its momentum, because neither one of us is putting it together lately. Let me just say this, I'm facing Deathbringer next week, and I want his guarantee that there will be _no_ interference. The so-called immortal has wanted me for a while, and I've wanted him equally. Now it's finally gonna happen, and he's going to be shell shocked, because I'm gonna throw everything but the kitchen sink at him, and once the Quickstriker is hooked on... you're going to hear a dead man scream! [Quigley and Dross start walking down the beach furthur, as the drizzle turns to light rain.] TD: Anything you might add about Otto Verhoeven? CQ: Yeah, Verhoeven has had a few setbacks recently as well, but I really don't care. In two weeks it'll finally come down to something. I hate leaving things unfinished, but that's exactly what I've done with Verhoeven. That'll all change in two weeks, Otto. It'll _all_ change. [Quigley slaps Dross on the shoulder, and keeps on walking up over a large dune, as Dross stays where he is, just watching. As Quigley walks down the other side out of view, lightning crashes in the sky, and the rain begins to pour. Cut back to the studio.] BL: Yeah, sure it'll change. The Butcher will carve Quigley up and make sausages out of him. TD: I don't know about that, Becky. In any case, the action certainly continues to heat up in the weeks leading up to Ring Wars III, and tonight's show in the IIWF Coliseum was no exception. In this hour, we'll be bringing you all the details of what went down. [The IIWF logo fades from the video wall behind Tim and Becky, and footage rolls of Dan Kauffman, in street clothes, seated in the stands, signing autographs for the fans who crowd round him.] TD: Dan Kauffman took a seat in the stands and was on hand for the whole evening, cementing his relationship with the fans of the IIWF once more. And he witnessed some tremendous matches along with those fans tonight. Coming up: [Footage rolls of Cold Spell brawling with the W & W Express in the ring.] TD: The tournament to crown the first ever IIWF United States Tag Team Champions got underway tonight in the Coliseum. Newcomers Cold Spell and the W & W Express got it on, and Night Patrol faced IIWF veterans the Arabian Knights. We'll be bringing you all the details. [Footage rolls of the Harlequins squaring off against the Players' Club.] TD: Fans were treated to a wealth of tag team action tonight -- the Harlequins faced the Players' Club, and G.W.R. squared off against Rising Sun Revolution. [Footage of a deshevelled Stud Stetson coming down the aisle in street clothes.] TD: How the mighty have fallen: we'll be finding out just what has happened to "Superstar" Stud Stetson. [Footage of the Venusian Death Cell decimating Majestic Maurice McArthur, who is trapped in the corner, with a series of punches.] TD: Would it be third time lucky for Triple M? He went up against the monstrous Venusian Death Cell, and we'll have the details. [Footage of Creed and Highwayman standing nose to nose in the centre of the ring.] TD: And what a main event the fans were treated to in the Coliseum tonight! The powerful Creed faced off against a man his equal in strength and technical skill, the Highwayman. [The IIWF logo fades back onto the video wall.] TD: All that and more coming up tonight, fans. So without further ado, let's get to the recap of the results from the house show in the Coliseum, beginning with the "Sychotic" one, Joe Petrow: [Images of the wrestlers and their stats roll onto the video wall:] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Sychosys" Joe Petrow vs. "Nifty" Ned Norton 227lbs, 6'3" 245lbs, 6'2" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Brian Lau made a number of appearances in the aisle tonight, apparently scouting out possible new members for the Syndicate. I doubt he was looking to invite Norton to join, and particularly on the strength of his performance against Petrow tonight. Petrow came down to the ring and immediately started yelling various accusations at Kauffman, who was still in the stands, but couldn't entice the former Champion out of the stands. BL: I guess Petrow's just not Danny's type. TD: Quite probably. In any case, Petrow then went to work on Norton, taking the match to the outside almost immediately. He secured victory with just two moves -- a spinebuster onto the steel railings, and his Knightmare inverted crucifix slam onto the arena floor. Petrow simply left Norton lying on the floor, and rolled back into the ring to take the countout victory. I have to believe that Lau was impressed by what he saw from Petrow, but I have to wonder whether Petrow is enough of a reliable, team player to succeed in the Syndicate. [WINNER: "Sychosys" Joe Petrow by countout in 1:43.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= G.W.R. vs. RISING SUN REVOLUTION Loco & Spoiler Ryudo Kenjinata & Hiroshi Kasai comb. 545lbs comb. 570lbs =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: We heard on Saturday Night from Mistress, manager of New Domination, that Ryudo and Hiroshi, the much-loved Japanese duo of Rising Sun Revolution, had sold out to Mr. Mic. The foundation in truth of these rumours seems shaky indeed, particularly given the comments of Mr. Mic himself, with whom Larry Morton spoke earlier today: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Larry Morton is standing with Mr. Mic in a corridor backstage in the Coliseum.] LM: Mr. Mic, I have to ask you what about Mistress' allegations that you are behind the "selling-out" of the RSR? Mr.Mic: Complete and utter crap. I don't know where that cheap floozy gets her information, but in no way do I want anything to do with the RSR. Those two morons can catch fish for the rest of their lives for all I care. A piece of advice for you, Mistress: watch your mouth, you wanna learn how to manage. Watch Brenda Hawkings -- now _there_ is a real manager. She's got two things you don't... BRAINS AND TALENT! LM: Obviously enough talent to have Night Patrol interfere in your match on Saturday night... Mr.Mic: Hey, Larry, you don't like it? I DON'T CARE. Zodiacs don't like it? I DON'T CARE. The rest of the IIWF doesn't like it? I DON'T CARE! We had every right to have the Night Patrol come down. The Zodiac started to use chairs and illegal tatics and when something illegal happens... YOU CALL THE POLICE! [Cut back to the studio.] TD: So as you can see, Team Brutality denies any connection whatsoever with Rising Sun Revolution, but that didn't prevent the fans from being more wary of the Revolution than they have ever been. Watched from the aisle by a sneering Domination, Rising Sun Revolution seemed disheartened by the negative reaction of the crowd, and despite stringing together a series of good double-team offensive volleys, Ryudo became trapped in the ring by Loco and Spoiler, while Hiroshi became more and more frustrated by the lack of crowd support. All his efforts to start up "RSR!" chants seemed to fall on mostly deaf ears. In the end, Loco managed to piledrive Spoiler into a prone Ryudo, the move they dub "The End of the Line", and Loco then prevented Hiroshi from making the save. Spoiler covered Ryudo for the pinfall victory, and the Revolution left looking very disheartened. [WINNERS: G.W.R. by pinfall in 17:13.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF United States Tag Team Championship Tournament Match: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= COLD SPELL vs. W & W EXPRESS Icehawk & Edmund Fitzgerald Doug Wayne, Clark Watson comb. 500lbs comb. 500lbs ----------------------------------------------------------------------- TD: The W & W Express made an impressive debut two weeks ago, but came out on the losing end of their match with Night Patrol. They were determined to change their fortunes tonight, especially since their chances of being the first team to capture the new US Tag Team belts depended on success against fellow newcomers, Cold Spell. And that determination immediately manifested itself -- Watson and Wayne jumped Cold Spell before they had even made it to the ring. Watson threw Icehawk to the outside, and then proceeded to doubleteam Edmund Fitzgerald. BL: And that was their mistake, Timmy. Fitzgerald possesses endurance unlike just about any other superstar in the IIWF, and he was able to withstand everything that the Express threw at him. TD: Meanwhile, the athletic Icehawk recovered on the outside, and eventually managed to tag in, hitting the ring like a house on fire. While Fitz collected himself on the apron, Icehawk went to work with his incredible fast-paced aerial assault, clearing the ring and sending both Watson and Wayne to the outside. Wayne eventually made it back into the ring, and the advantage switched back and forth, until Fitz was setting Wayne up for the Shipwreck Slam, his patented spinebuster. Fitz whipped Wayne into the ropes, but Wayne put on the brakes. Fitz approached him, and got cracked round the face by a set of brass knuckles, which Wayne pulled out of his tights. However, the referee saw the illegal attack, and quickly disqualified the Express. Icehawk leaped into the ring and cleared Wayne and Watson away from the felled Fitz, and the Express headed back up the aisle, bitterly lamenting their misfortune. Cold Spell are thus the first team to advance in the tournament to crown the first ever US Tag Team Champions! [WINNERS: Cold Spell by disqualification in 14:22.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Venusian Death Cell vs. Majestic Maurice McArthur 332lbs, 6'5" 245lbs, 6'2" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: The Venusian Death Cell has been having his problems with manager Josey Wales as of late. Last week, he ignored Wales' advice in his match with Creed, and failed to capitalise on incapacitating the big man, and I have heard rumours of Wales' growing frustration with the monstrous Cell. Perhaps you could give us some insight as to the VDC's current frame of mind, Becky? BL: No, Timmy. The Cell hasn't been scratching at my back door in the middle of the night for a bowl of dog food for the past week or so. I don't know what's bugging him, but he's losing his focus. TD: That much is certainly evident. In the ring tonight, he toyed with Triple M, and drew the match's length out unnecessarily. On a number of occasions, he could have covered McArthur for the three count, as instructed by Wales from the outside, but he chose to pull him up and continue his onslaught -- a decision which he was soon made to regret, for who should come down to the ring once more but "Sychosys" Joe Petrow, a man who seems to be taking an inordinate amount of interest in the career of Triple M as of late. He watched the match for a minute or two, and when the Cell whipped McArthur into the ropes for his Death Slam, Sychosys tripped him, thus rescuing him from the hold. The Cell saw this incursion, and immediately went after Petrow, chasing him back to the locker room. However, the VDC failed to return to the ring in time to avoid being counted out. Incredibly, Majestic Maurice McArthur has scored his third victory here in the IIWF, again thanks to Joe Petrow! BL: Well, he's certainly not capable of scoring victories on his own. TD: Wales looks to be reaching the end of his tether with the Venusian Death Cell. Is a split in the works? [WINNER: Majestic Maurice McArthur by countout in 7:52.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF United States Tag Team Championship Tournament Match: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= NIGHT PATROL vs. NEW ARABIAN KNIGHTS Lt. Keene, Sgt. Blazer Prince Abdul & Omar comb. 530lbs comb. 575lbs ----------------------------------------------------------------------- TD: Night Patrol, a team for whom I have little respect, and make no secret of the fact... BL: And I make no secret of the fact that I think they're great. Really great people. TD: An opinion which has absolutely nothing to do with that nice, shiny Porsche they gave you. BL: You're just jealous. TD: Anyway, Night Patrol have been making a lot of headlines since they entered the IIWF two weeks ago, and it appears that they have what it takes to back up their claims in the ring. Tonight, they went up against the New Arabian Knights, once again under the watchful eye of the Grand Vizier. Both teams had comments leading into this tournament match; let's hear first from Night Patrol: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier This Week." The trio of Asst. DA Brenda Hawking, Lt. Keene and Sgt. Blazer sip coffee in a donut shop.] DK: I can't understand this, Brenda; they kick out the Grand Vizier, but now he's back! How does this happen? BH: [sighs in annoyance] It's another of those legal technicalities that always got criminals off back in Houston... [mock whining] "I was abused as a child"; "Satan told me to do it"; "The black helicopters are coming"; "Blazer and Keene were too rough with me, Whaaa..." JB: Arabian Knights, take my advice and don't show up... Team Brutality is taking the U.S. Belts, and you're just unlucky enough to be the first in our way. DK: Omar, all your protection of that pretty boy prince isn't going to make a bit of difference. Diplomatic Immunity doesn't mean a thing in the IIWF, and I'm makin' the collar. BH: And Vizier... I know the attitudes some Arabs have towards women. In America, this woman's place is in your face. Watch your step, or you're going to wish you had heeded that "Loser Leave Town" clause. [The screen wipe-fades through to the Arabian Knights standing in their locker room, subtitled "Earlier Tonight."] GV: So it seems we've been pitted against Night Patrol in the first round of the United States Tag Team Championship Tournament matches, half of Team Brutality. PA: Oh, I'm so scared, they might bring their nightsticks with them... [They laugh.] GV: I wonder if they have more intelligence than the other half of Team Brutality. PA: No, they must be really stupid if they're teaming up with Mr. Mic and Drain Inc. GV: Quite right, and if you're thinking of interfering in our match tonight, Pain Inc., be warned that we have something very special in store for you. [They laugh again. Cut back to the studio.] TD: The Knights may have been very derisive about the Patrol's connections with Pain Inc., a team with whom they themselves have had no shortage of problems in the past, but it was certainly effective tonight. Let's go to footage of Night Patrol's entrance in their match: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Night Patrol, dressed in black trunks along with black wristbands, are accompanied to the ring by Pain Inc. who seem to be going over a game plan. Hades is walking in front of Mr.Mic and Brenda Hawkings, who seem to be discussing some strategy of their own. Hades stares at the Arabian Knights and doesn't seem to take his sight off them. Pain Inc. stand at ringside with their arms crossed, ignoring the taunts of the Arabian Knights. Mr.Mic jumps to the apron and begins mouthing off the Knights, before turning to Hades and whispering in his ear. Hades turns around and starts looking throughout the crowd and the the aisle to backstage. His eyes come to rest on Dan Kauffman, and he points at the former champion, drawing his thumb across his throat. Kauffman, in the midst of signing an autograph, merely waves his pen cheerfully in Hades' direction. Pain Inc. continue to stand at ringside, complete oblivious to the taunts of the Knights. Cut back to the studio.] TD: Is this the same out of control Pain Inc. we've seen in the past? Perhaps the Knights should have been more concerned with letting sleeping dogs lie than taunting old enemies. Perhaps with the Grand Vizier not at ringside, surprisingly, the Knights were less focused than they should have been. Nonetheless, Omar, who started the match off for the Knights, was his usual dominating self, and he began to wear down Lt. Keene in the early stages. The Knights used quick tags to keep Keene in their half of the ring, but eventually, Keene escaped and made the hot tag to Blazer, who began brawling with Omar. Blazer and Omar are evenly matched, and the advantage swung backwards and forwards between the two, until Blazer managed to scoop slam the big Knight! As the Knights' advantage began to slip away, who should appear from the crowd but the Grand Vizier, who seemed to be clutching one of his trademark smoke grenades. However, before the manager could be a factor in the match, he was attacked by Asst. DA Brenda Hawking, who pepper-sprayed him, and then cuffed him to the railings. BL: Attagirl, Brenda! TD: The match continued in the ring, with Lt. Keene going up against the Prince, who took it to the ex-policeman. However, Keene was merely playing possum, and tagged out to Blazer, hitting the Prince with a slap around the face for good measure. This really riled Abdul up, and made him sloppy. As a result, Blazer was able to pull out some of his biggest power moves, using powerslams and turnbuckle splashes to take advantage of his size. While Omar was trying to free the Grand Vizier on the outside, Night Patrol were able to trap the Prince in the vicious Police Brutality top-rope slam for the pinfall victory. The Vizier was furious, but the Patrol have already guaranteed that there will be a Team Brutality presence in the second round of the US Tag Team Championship tournament. [WINNERS: Night Patrol by pinfall in 18:53.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Cheshire vs. Dirt Dog Unique Allah 220lbs, 6' 238lbs, 6'2" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Two of the IIWF's most unpredictable athletes clashed in this match. The Dirt Dog had some comments for his opponent: [Cut to a blank screen, save for the subtitle: "Earlier This Week."] VOICE: I say yeah! YEAAAAHHHHH!! I'm a hunt me a laughing hyena! [Fade in: Unique Allah is shot in medium close up. The camera pulls back to see him sitting in a chair, wearing a giant diaper with a pacifier sticking out of his mouth. His eyes look glassy.] UA: Cheshire, you's a funny muhfuh, ain't cha? Yeah, you's a real funny muhfuh. And you know what? I gotta fight you come Wednesday. I guess the IIWF thinks this ol' dirty doggy got a lock on takin' a bite out of these lunatics running around here. Lunatics like that damn Joe Petrow! But let me tell you this, Cheshire cat. Doggies always chase cats up trees. And this doggy gonna skin you like a cat and play cat's cradle with your intestines! This doggy gonna make you dance like you's a cat on a hot tin roof. I'm gonna make you wish you had nine lives, Cheshire. See, cause I got a job to do and I don't really know how many more of these cat um, these cat ... cliches? ... I can really throw out at you. All I want you to know is this. I'm gonna stick a piece of buttered bread on your back and see which one lands face up! Yeah! That should be pretty neat, shouldn't it, Medusa? [Medusa Rage comes into the shot and stands next to him, looking very elegant in a clingy knee-length, low-cut dress.] MR: Don't worry about Cheshire, Unique. You just stick to my plan and everything will work out just fine. I promise you. UA: Didn't you promise me a little sum'in sum'in, too? MR: If you beat Casey James. UA: He's as good as beat. Now let me go skin me a cat. Yeah, I'm gonna skin me a muhfuh cat so I can get me some pu... MR: Unique! UA: Wha? Whut? I want to get me some push around here. Or is it pull? I don't know. Whut did you think I was gonna say, huh? [Medusa shakes her head.] MR: Nothing. Never mind, Unique. UA: Oh, I get it! [crazed laugh] Ha, that would really be raw, wouldn't it? Yeah, it would really be raw. [Fade. Cut back to the studio.] TD: Cheshire was accompanied to the ring by his manager and physician, Dr. Hinterhalt, and was his usual crazed self, laughing at all and sundry. The Dirt Dog was surprised early on in the match at Cheshire's masochistic delight at being hurt, and adjusted his gameplan, capitalising on Cheshire's somewhat scatterbrained approach to competing in the ring. For some reason, as Cheshire broke out into a particularly incessant fit of giggling, so too did the Dirt Dog, who sat in the middle of the ring, laughing and giggling and pointing at a spot up on the ceiling. Even now, I have no idea what Unique found so amusing, but Cheshire was sufficiently curious to lie down and take a look, at which point Allah hit a quick legdrop on the clown, and, with the assistance of Medusa, who held Cheshire's legs down, scored a pinfall victory! BL: That's one of the more unusual ways I've seen to beat a man. TD: Indeed. But the Dirt Dog didn't have any time to celebrate his victory, since after the match, the sinister Serge Annis made his way down to the ring. Apparently looking for revenge on the Dog after their abortive foray into the world of tag team wrestling a couple of weeks ago, Annis went after Unique, who wisely took off through the crowd, leaving Annis frustrated in his wake. The Dog was clearly on top of his game tonight -- he knows he faces his toughest match in the IIWF to date this Saturday Night when he goes up against IIWF Champion Casey "Blackheart" James, and he wants to make sure that he arrives at the Coliseum on Saturday in one piece. [WINNER: Dirt Dog Unique Allah by pinfall in 8:11.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= THE HARLEQUINS vs. THE PLAYERS' CLUB Tragedy & Chaos Danny Dynamite & Michael Reyna comb. 545lbs comb. 470lbs =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: The Harlequins will be facing the High Plains Drifters on Saturday in the first round of the US Tag Team Tournament, and the Players' Club will do battle with the Zodiac Connection in two weeks' time, so tonight's encounter represented a tune-up for both teams. Let's get comments from the Players' Club as they prepared for this match: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." The Players' Club stand in the locker room together, their FWLI tag belts in hand.] DDD: First off, Prophets of Rage; "Rage in the Cage" Pretty easy to beat us, when we didn't care about that match. Boys, we're sick and tired of carrying your asses in matches. We have bigger and better things to do... MR: And that starts next week, with the IIWF US Tag Team Championship Tourney. Harlequins, first off... STICK IT! We're on an up-start again... You two are going to be the FIRST, but not the LAST, to feel the wrath of the first IIWF US Tag Team Champions. DDD: Hardin, Thunder, get in touch. We need to talk, and heaven knows that the longer the Syndicate talks and we don't, they'll walk away winners. Get in touch... And as for the Dark Diciples.. Boys, get ready, 'cause we're coming back.. STRONGER than ever! MR: IIWF... This is a NEW Players' Club. New attitude. Think you can handle it? [Cut back to the studio.] TD: The Harlequins certainly looked prepared for this match. Comedy came to the ring not only carrying her Happy Hammer, but also a large bag labelled, "Bag o' Tricks". Tragedy started things off for his team and immediately demonstrated that he was employing a submission, counter-wrestling style. He targeted the legs of Michael Reyna, and between him and Chaos, the Harlequins cut the ring in half with quick tags. Meanwhile, Dynamite was pestered and annoyed by Comedy and Melody on the outside, who decided to play their typical games of tag around the ring. Eventually, Reyna made the hot tag, and Dynamite went to work on Tragedy, hitting the smaller member of the Harlequins with a number of high-impact moves. Ultimately, Dynamite and Reyna managed to trap Harlequin Tragedy in their Heartbreaker finisher, and Reyna prevented Chaos from making the save. Tragedy had his feet on the ropes, but the referee didn't see, and Dynamite scored the pinfall. [WINNERS: The Players' Club by pinfall in 14:25.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Serge Annis vs. American Patriot 293lbs, 6'8" 285lbs, 6'11" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Brian Lau was clearly interested in one of these men, as he once again made an appearance in the aisle to scout this match. Let's get comments from both individuals as they prepared to do battle. The American Patriot was determined to get the job done, as always: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." The American Patriot stands in the locker room area:] AP: Tonight, Serge Annis and I will do battle in the ring. Annis, I have no problems with you. I'm going out to do my job, and my job is to win the match. I feel confident enough to beat you, and I will use my technical skills to my advantage when we step into the ring in a few short moments. Good luck, Serge. [The screen wipe-fades through to Serge Annis, seated in his locker room, lacing his boots. The scar on his right cheek is apparent as he speaks:] SA: Over the last three weeks, I have endured a knife, a malicious attack, and a fireball. But yet I still stand, and I still sing my song. For those that deserve it, I will sing up a song filled with melancholy, and filled with despising... whatever happens to my body is irrelevant... but what happens to my mind... to my soul... cannot be reversed. [laughs] I overcame a hell to live my life every day... and now I prepare to create a hell for one Shinja Chow... you started something out of nothing, Chow... and now, you must settle your debts... and pay for your crimes... hehe.. hide behind your flame, Chow, because after I do to you what happened to me a long time ago.... that flame will be your _ONLY_ friend and saviour... [Cut back to the studio.] TD: Serge Annis once again decided to make a dramatic entrance. Seemingly, walking down the aisle simply isn't good enough for him, this time entering from the stands, wearing a trench coat, his face adorned with the word "HATE" painted on his left cheek. The Patriot didn't seem fazed by Annis' attempts to intimidate him, and the two men quickly locked up. Annis took the early upper hand with a series of low blows, and ignored the referee's warnings not to choke his big opponent. However, the Patriot weathered the early storm, and struck back with a volley of big power moves when Annis telegraphed a backdrop too early, flooring the self-monikered "Epitome of Evil" with a swinging neckbreaker. However, when the Patriot attempted to take Annis out with his flying forearm Patriot Missile, Annis ducked under the big man, who crashed to the mat. Annis then capitalised, hitting the Patriot with his patented chokeslam for the pinfall victory. BL: If you ask me, the Patriot ought to hang up his tights. TD: I don't recall asking you, Becky. The Patriot has been unlucky in the ring lately, and his knee is still a little tender after his match with Mad Dog Watkins two weeks ago. He made a good showing tonight, and the fans were appreciative of his efforts. I still see good things in the Patriots' future here in the IIWF. [WINNER: Serge Annis by pinfall in 13:31.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Ronnie Paris vs. "Superstar" Stud Stetson 210lbs, 6'0" 285lbs, 6'7" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: One "Superstar" Stud Stetson has been very quiet as of late. Tonight was his first match for some two weeks, and he's been on a losing streak for some time. Tonight, he was scheduled to face the impressive Ronnie Paris, but he didn't look to be in any condition to wrestle. Larry Morton tried to find out why. Let's go to that footage: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." As Stetson's music blares over the PA system, Stetson comes out in ripped blue jeans and a torn white t-shirt, his hair messed up and his goatee mangled. Stetson looks horrible and totally unprepared to wrestle in the ring. Larry Morton confronts him while he is on his way into the ring:] LM: Stetson, you look terrible! What's going on here? Aren't you going to wrestle here tonight? SS: [looks exhausted] She left me, Harry. LM: Lace? SS: [looks a little upset but obviously in too much pain to get angry] Of course Lace! She was upset how I let my record slip. She said she couldn't be associated with a loser like me. [pauses] She was sick over me being all talk and no walk. Frustrated of how I lost my edge and became a total joke. Didn't like how I treated her, Barry. What can I do? [stress fills his face] Says she ain't coming back until I shape up and get back my killer instinct. Doesn't want to be seen with me until I earn my respect and stop being a joke. Morton, I lost what meant to me most. [rest his head in the hands] I screwed up big time. I didn't treat her right. Didn't give her what she deserved. [looks back up with what seems like tears in his eyes]. I have to regain my manhood. I have to win her back. I have to avenge her by finishing Shakespeare off for stealing that kiss from her and embarrassing her in front of the whole world. [Stetson looks more intense] But first I have to start by whipping this midget's ass! [Stetson leaves Larry's side and charges into the ring, aggressively charging after Paris, who is ready for him. The two men begin slugging it out in the centre of the ring. Cut back to the studio.] TD: Stetson was clearly out to prove a point in the ring tonight, and Paris seemed almost surprised at Stetson's aggression. Usually, Paris prepares very thoroughly for every opponent, but tonight his performance demonstrated that he has been looking ahead to his match with Spur on Saturday Night, believing Stetson not to be a threat given his recent performances. When Spur himself came down to ringside to watch the match, that seemed to throw Paris further off-balance, and the vicious Stetson managed to wear him down. Paris managed to weather the early storm, and went to the top rope to drop an elbow on Stetson, but hesitated, pointing to Spur, allowing Stetson to recover sufficiently to grab Paris from the top rope and perform his Fall From Grace press slam kneebreaker on the youngster for the pinfall victory. After the match, Spur appeared to shake his head, laugh, and head up the aisle. As Paris picked himself up, he seemed to be kicking himself for going down to defeat. BL: And quite right too, Timmy. Stetson's a washed-up never-was, and Paris, well, he's just a scrawny widdle kid. TD: That's unfair, Becky. Paris is a tremendous third-generation wrestler, and he's got a tremendous future ahead of him here in the IIWF... BL: If you call being torn apart by Spur this weekend a tremendous future, sure. [WINNER: "Superstar" Stud Stetson in 16:05.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Creed vs. Highwayman 275lbs, 6'4" 285lbs, 6'4" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: This final match of the evening was certainly a high-profile encounter pitting two of the IIWF's brightest young talents against one another. BL: Since when has a reanimated three hundred year old dead thief been a bright young talent? TD: The Highwayman is a tremendous athlete, Becky, and so is Creed. These two athletes put on a tremendously hard-fought encounter, which was watched with interest not only by the capacity crowd, but also by Brian Lau, who once again took up station in the aisle, presumably to scout Creed. The Highwayman has been undefeated here in the IIWF since his debut, and he was determined to ensure that his streak continued. Let's hear his comments: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Highwayman sits at a small table in a dark room. Head lowered, his hands caress the walnut stock of a flintlock pistol.] HW: Let me show you how these work. [He lies the gun on the table, takes a small gunpowder bag from his belt and pours a little onto the side of the pistol.] HW: On the side of a flintlock pistol is a small "pan" in which you pour gunpowder. When you pull the trigger, the hammer impacts onto a piece of flint, creating a spark and igniting the gunpowder in the pan. The flame travels through a small hole next to the pan and ignites the gunpowder in the barrel, driving the ball out of the muzzle. [He puts the gunpowder bag back on his belt.] HW: If you don’t take particular care of your pistol, the small hole can get blocked with burnt gunpowder residue so when you pull the trigger, the gunpowder in the pan ignites but the pistol doesn’t fire. This is the origin of the saying "flash in the pan." [He draws the hammer back slowly until it locks into place before continuing.] HW: Well, Creed, do you think I’m careless enough to be a flash in the pan? [He levels the pistol at the camera, taking careful aim along the barrel, as the image fades to black, his voice echoes softly:] HW: We will see in a moment, won’t we Creed, we will see... [Cut back to the studio.] TD: And indeed we did. What a titanic battle it was between these two superstars. The Highwayman had a very clearly constructed gameplan, which revolved around varying the pace of the match as much as possible, from submission holds to blindingly-fast power moves. Creed, however, is unflappable in the ring, and the Highwayman's efforts only momentarily put Creed off-balance. The Highwayman targeted Creed's legs early on, knocking the black man off his feet with his opening lock-up, and working over Creed's knees. BL: Smart move -- take the big man down to the mat and he's no more powerful than widdle Wonnie Pawis. TD: Highwayman attempted to keep Creed trapped in a sleeper hold, but the powerful Corporate asset refused to be worn down in such a manner, breaking out of the hold three times, each time being trapped back into it by a volley from the Highwayman. However, the tide of the match turned when Montgomery attempted to intercede on behalf of Creed. Jumping to the apron, he distracted the Highwayman, who rolled to the outside and grabbed the "CEO" by the throat. The crowd cheered him on, encouraging him to lay Montgomery out with a chokeslam, but Creed attempted to come to his manager's rescue, leaping from the apron with an axe-handle attempt. However, at the last moment, the Highwayman dodged out of the way, and it looked like Creed would hit his own manager, but the big black man managed to simply knock the "CEO" to the floor, shaken but unhurt, and turned his attention to the Highwayman. Brawling with Creed outside the ring isn't a hobby I'd recommend to anybody, and the Highwayman certainly had his work cut out. Creed suddenly seemed to turn up about ten gears, and went after the Highwayman with everything in his arsenal, ramming the Highwayman against the ringside furniture -- steps, tables, railings -- before taking him back into the ring and hammering him with his trademark volley of left hands. Creed set the Highwayman up for a chokeslam, but the Highwayman countered and took Creed down with a belly-to-belly suplex! The Highwayman then went to the ropes, but due to his size, he took a little too long climbing to the buckles, and Creed managed to pull himself to his feet, hitting the Highwayman with his "Goodnight, Farewell and Amen." flying powerbomb for the pinfall victory at the climax of one of the hardest-fought matches in recent memory. However, Creed didn't seem satisfied with his victory, and continued to pace the ring, looking down on the winded form of the Highwayman, apparently contemplating attacking him further. In the end, he simply shook his head, and stalked out of the ring towards the locker room area. The "CEO" had a few words for the crowd after the match: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Creed skulks down the aisle after his victory. The "CEO" leaps into the ring and grabs the microphone. He shouts over the mixed cheers of the crowd:] CEO: [pointing down the aisle toward Creed] That's the man! That's the man! Right there! Take a good look, IIWF... Take a good, long look at the way a professional athlete is supposed to look, Marty Warnett! You want trouble, Marty Warnett -- you want to careen near the edge -- FINE! February 22, IIWF Saturday Night, if you got any guts at all you'll step in the ring with Creed, you want to slander my man, you got to pay the price. And Warnett -- leave your belt at home -- Creed only wants your head. [Montogomery looks to throw down the mic, but stops, and with cool composure says the following.] CEO: And Watkins... let this go, just let this go. [He pauses a moment longer, as if in thought, and then drops the microphone before following Creed back up the aisle. Cut back to the studio.] TD: What an incredible battle between these two phenomenal athletes. The Highwayman goes down to his first defeat here in the IIWF, but he'll undoubtedly bounce back very soon. [WINNER: Creed by pinfall in 28:11.] TD: Well, folks, we're very nearly out of time for tonight here in the War Room, but before we go, allow me to remind you of the way the rest of the week shapes up in terms of IIWF programming. Tomorrow night, we'll get our first dose of IIWF Classics, hosted by "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, and on Friday, Larry and Becky will return... BL: Worse luck. TD: ...with their weekly Countdown to Saturday Night. And on Saturday itself, Steve Roberts and myself will call all the action live from the Coliseum as the IIWF superstars prepare to do battle once more. The line-up this week includes such stellar encounters as IIWF World Champion Casey James making his first title defence against the unpredictable Dirt Dog Unique Allah, the IIWF World Tag Team Champions, the Dark Disciples, defending against the Zodiac Connection, Mad Dog Watkins and Brody Thunder locking it up, the Subway Psycho battling Dan Kauffman, Chris Quigley facing Deathbringer, and two more matches in the first round of the IIWF US Tag Team Championship Tournament. What a night it's going to be! Make sure you don't miss one moment of the action. Until then, this is Tim Dross, for the lovely Becky LaRue, saying: so long, everybody! [As the lights drop and the video wall fades to black, it becomes apparent that Becky has been reading a magazine for most of the broadcast. Dross shakes his head derisively at her as the shot fades.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+