##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== "IIWF MONDAY MUSINGS" February 17, 1997 =============================================== ************************************************************************** -------------------- IIWF SATURDAY NIGHT RESULTS ----------------------- ************************************************************************** February 15, 1997 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ REQUIEM def. THE HANGMAN PROPHETS OF RAGE def. THE ARMED FORCES THE HARLEQUINS def. THE HIGH PLAINS DRIFTERS SPUR def. RONNIE PARIS ZODIAC CONNECTION def. THE DARK DISCIPLES BRODY THUNDER def. MAD DOG WATKINS CASEY JAMES def. DIRT DOG UNIQUE ALLAH SUBWAY PSYCHO def. DAN KAUFFMAN DRAW: CHRIS QUIGLEY vs. DEATHBRINGER ************************************************************************** ----------------- THE WRESTLERS SPEAK: FLASH FORUM --------------------- ************************************************************************** REQUIEM ~~~~~~~~ [SCENE: The Music Of The Unknowingly Damned floods the IIWF Interview Area as Requiem strides in, his hands flying over the strings of the night black electric guitar that is his symbol. As he plays he speaks] REQ: Hangman, you had an opportunity to face me honourably in single combat, but instead you resorted to trickery and deceit. Trickery and deceit that did not prevent me from gazing into your soul and finding you wanting. Hangman, let the pain of the Final Lament serve as a warning to you. Heed that warning, and heed it well, for it is the last you will receive from me. Who will face me in the ring next? Who is willing to stand before me and face up to the darkness within? Who will be next to feel my eyes burning into their soul? Come to me, superstars of the IIWF. Come to Requiem... ************************************************************************** OUTLAW JOSEY WALES ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Josey Wales stands in the IIWF interview area. The High Plains Drifters are not with him.] JW: Yee-haw, that was a good old fashion hog tyin'! Oh sure my boys might not have come away with a victory, but do you really think we would want a victory in that situation? Why should my boys go through a grueling tournament, one which they could win, only to be awarded with an inferior title? Pale and Easy are accustomed to being No 1. They're the two time "World" champions. They were voted Tag Team of the Year. Now why would they want to be the champions of the runner ups? That's what the U.S. Title is all about. Who's the World Champions now? Horrorscope, Zodiac Men or some damned thing like that? Please, we all know who the best is. ************************************************************************** SPUR ~~~~~ [Spur stands in the interview area] SP: It didn't come the way I get my greatest satisfaction... but Ronnie, it's a win. You think you were scared before? You ain't seen nothing yet. Your future is in my hands, and you don't know where these hands have been. Steele, Shakespeare, your time is coming... why are you in such a rush to get there? ************************************************************************** RONNIE PARIS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Ronnie Paris stands in the IIWF interview area.] RP: I have my destiny in the hands of another man, but that doesn't bother me. Spur, you find anyone you want to face me, I don't back down from challenges. Losing doesn't tick me off that much, but one thing about Saturday Night did bother me. [Paris spits off camera, and then looks back at the middle of the shot.] "Real Deal" Luke Steele, you want to be my pal? You want to earn my respect? Well, there is one thing you can do for me... stay the hell out of my matches! Spur is hard enough to handle without you costing me wins. Now, it isn't my style to cost people matches like you seem to enjoy, but I guarantee that if you ever stick your nose in my business again I'll personally send you on a one way trip to the emergency room! You leave me alone, I have enough problems as it is. ************************************************************************** THE ZODIAC CONNECTION ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Taurus and Scorpio stand smiling in the IIWF interview area, the IIWF World Tag Team belts around their waists.] SC: We would like to thank the many fans of the Zodiac Connection for showing support for us while we were down. Now that we have won the IIWF World Tag Team Championship belts, we hope that you will continue to show support for us while we are on the top of the world! TA: There does come a time when the hunters become the hunted. Whoever believes that they deserve an opportunity to bring these belts home can very well walk up to the IIWF offices and tell them. It doesn't matter if we have to defend against the Dark Disciples, the Harlequins, the Arabian Knights, or anybody else who believes that they have what it takes to get the job done against the Zodiac Connection. [he snarls] I am just afraid that you are going to need to go through me to get the job done. SC: Be careful though... just take a look at Taurus. He seems very at peace with himself now that he has one of the IIWF World Tag Title around his waist. The longer he has that belt around his waist the harder it will be for any of you to take it away from him. Now don't get me wrong, the stars have already set in motion a plan in which there will come a time when some other tag team is able to knock us off the pedestal, it may be next Saturday night... it could be at Ring Wars... it could be the year 2005. I am looking forward to finding out who exactly can get the job done. TA: We would like to ask of the IIWF one request for a match down the line. The Zodiac Connection and The Armed Forces versus Team Brutality in a Spin The Wheel Match! We'll even let those morons do the spinning! GE: In order to truly understand what's going on in Chapter 5 of the Book of Life, it is always necessary for the reader to fully experience what's going on in Chapters 1-4. The Zodiac Connection needs to finish reading Chapter 4! SC: I am not going to argue with the ladies on that one! TA: In the meantime, we are waiting for you... show us what you can do! ************************************************************************** BRODY THUNDER AND J.W. HARDIN ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [J.W.Hardin and Brody Thunder stroll confidently onto the interview set. Thunder is wearing his black t-shirt which reads:"EVIL,MEAN & NASTY". He puts out his cigar on the floor.] BT: Heheheh... well I guess the cat's outta the bag now. Y'see when I used the Thunderbolt on folks to put 'em away I was tough. But now... NOW... I'm downright deadly. Y'see I didn't just pull that Cattle Buster DDT I gave Mad Dog Watkins outta thin air. This man behind me has given me a lethal weapon. The same weapon which got him the IIWF World title. I aim ta follow suit. Watkins... I gotta be straight with ya son. Ya pushed me to the limit Saturday Night. We stood toe-to-toe for what seemed like an eternity. Ya stood yer ground... I admire that. But there has to be a winner and a loser. The fact is that when that bell rang it was MY hand that was raised. That's the way the history books will remember it. That match was the measuring stick fer toughness in the IIWF. Ya got my respect, Watkins. Ya earned that much. As fer the Player's Club... well I think that Hoss here has somethin' to say to them skunks. JWH: Mebbe I'm just gittin' a little too hard-headed in my old age, but I didn't listen to Thunder when he said "ferget about the Players' Club, we don't need 'em." Naw, I gave you boys a second chance and now I can see that you're probably in Brian Lau's back pocket, too. And Syndicate, you were a breath away from being destroyed. Well my time in the IIWF is up Saturday night and I've never been one to leave a job undone. We've got a little triangle match set up this weekend, but that's just fer show. This is about survival boys... survival of the fittest. Syndicate, Players' Club, you got two mean cowboys walkin' through the saloon doors and that triangle match is just the beginnin'. As far as I'm concerned, we can finish our business in the parkin' lot. And wasn't it sweet ta see Thunder put away the Mad Dog with the Cattle Buster? I'll say one thing, [he points at Thunder] this big man is a quick learner. There's a passin' of the torch comin' in the IIWF. BT: I got me one last piece ta say 'fore I'm done. This here's directed at that low-down no-account coward called Billy Shakespeare. Hey son, ya can run but ya can't hide, Billy-boy. The whole world saw what kinda man you are when I slapped the taste right outta yer mouth. Did that little love tap move me up ta number one on yer little hitlist? Or are ya so scared that ya'd rather face a washed up Danny Kauffman figgerin' he's an easy mark? Time's runnin' out Billy-boy... an' so's my patience. Be a man. Step up to the plate. Get beaten like a man. I promise... it'll only hurt when ya wake up. Heheheh... [Hardin and Thunder walk off the set laughing heartily.] ************************************************************************** "SPOTLIGHT" BILLY SHAKESPEARE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Billy Shakespeare holds the contract that Brody Thunder offered him.] BS: Thunder, as lamented in Troilus and Cressida, "Is there no respect of place, persons, not time in you?" It would give you great joy for me to place pen to paper and sign this match. Great joy. So why should I? I'm calling the shots on this production, and there isn't a single thing you can do about it? Your pride demands a higher position on my list? You're lucky it's there at all. Spur... you seem to be a little blinded by the Spotlight currently... where lies your head man? I look forward to the day when I will put yon upstart down for the count and banish him forever from my mind. Til then, Born To Perform is still the greatest show on earth. [Shakespeare tosses the contract on the floor.] ************************************************************************** CASEY JAMES ~~~~~~~~~~~~ [IIWF World Heavyweight Champion Casey James stands in the IIWF interview area.] CJ: Well, well. Once again it's me, your World Champ, so shut up and listen. First, there's that match I had with Unique Allah, who I pummelled, but almost lost to thanks to that punk Petrow kicking me in the chops. Petrow, I'm going to let that one slide as if it were an accident. I kind of like your style, kid, but don't push it. Second, I want to talk about the Sewer Rat. I guess he didn't like the little display I had for him on Saturday. Too bad, little Stinker, you can't change the past. You should be happy that I didn't show you the photos of Sasha [BLEEP, BLEEP]ing on my [BLEEP, BLEEP, BLEEP] and the rubber [BLEEP BLEEEEEEEEEEEP]. You know, Stinker, you just don't have what it takes to beat me. I'm smarter than you, I'm stronger than you, and I'm just better than you. I'm right inside that thick little head of yours... And trust me, there's a lot of room for me to crawl around there, since there's nothing occupying the skull. And after I beat you at Ring Wars, I'm going to take care of your new trainer, Tiger Claw. And once I've mopped the floor with him, I'm going to give Sasha a call, and maybe we'll go out. More than likely, though, we'll stay in... Know what I mean? Some of that [BLEEP BLEEP] action... See you in the ring, Stinker. ************************************************************************** THE SUBWAY PSYCHO ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [The Subway Psycho stands in the IIWF interview area.] SP: I can sum up everything about Saturday Night into two classes: class and lowlife. Dan Kauffman: a man of immeasurable talent and conviction, Casey James: a scourge of opportunity and lies. Its a shame men like Kauffman are driven from the sport by men like Casey James. Casey, go ahead and spout your lies, bring out your phoney props, and worry about how you're going to try to get to my head next. Because while you're doing all that I'll be concentrating on the many ways of how I'll kick your ass. Your theatrics won't work on me. I own but one emotion: fury. Its a well focused raging fire of anger and ambition, and it's aimed right at you, Casey James. ************************************************************************** CHRIS QUIGLEY ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [A sweaty Chris Quigley storms into the camera's view after his match with Deathbringer on Saturday Night.] CQ: Tonight was everything it was supposed to be, Deathbringer! I knew going in that you were going to give me a fight, and to say I'm tired right now, would be a huge understatement! But the fact remains, you threw your best at me, but when the bell sounded, you were in the most vulnerable position you've ever been in your life, and you know it! I can go on all night on how the clock should be stopped during pin and submission attempts, but that's irrelevant! What is relevant is that I believe I proved something to you, and to everyone who was watching that match tonight! And I guess that includes you Verhoeven! Butcher, if you want a piece of me, that's fine! But you don't pathetically attack children in order to get my attention! Believe me, you had my attention long before that little stunt! Let me just say this, next Saturday it'll be me and you, no sneak attacking or trash talking, just a fight! It's gonna be strictly business for me, and unless you want to be humiliated, I suggest you get yourself ready! [Quigley walks away, holding the side of his head with his hand.] ************************************************************************** "SYCHOSYS" JOE PETROW ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ["Sychosys" Joe Petrow walks onto the set. He looks into the camera as if to speak, then, disgusted, walks away. He tries again, then walks away again. He finally starts to stammer...] JP: ALLAH, YOU STUPID BUMBLING MORON! I walked into the lion's den, and I left the World's Champion LYING! LYING THERE like a sack of potatoes, so that you take that World title, so that I could take it from you! But you... you... you managed to get pinned by a guy that was out cold!? [Joe punches his fist against the wall.] Dammit Dirt Dog, I'm sick of this crap! Everything in the IIWF goes exactly my way except when you're involved somehow! Well, this is going to stop! Allah, at Ring Wars III, I want you and that Amazon freak one more time! This time you can't run and take a countout! This time I'm not gonna be tethered to you like an animal! This time we're gonna get crazy, falls count anywhere style! And I can't tell you how fun it's going to be to see how many places I can kick your ass that night! Oh, by the way... the United States Tag Team titles that I win that night will NOT be on the line! [Joe slams the microphone down] ************************************************************************** W & W EXPRESS [Cut to The W & W Express on a yacht looking out onto the beautiful ocean.] WAYNE: Man, look how beautiful the ocean is. Sometimes things seem to drift away in it. The IIWF is like an ocean. Some wrestlers stay, some drift away. It seems alot of teams are leaving the IIWF, because the tag scene is so tough. WATSON: They can't walk the walk with the big boys so they just high tail it out of here. The W & W Express is here to stay. We may be 0-2, but we gave both those teams the wrestling lessons of their lives. Every team that faces the W & W Express, win or lose, will know they just had the fight of their lives. WAYNE: We are going to keep on fighting and scrapping until we reach the top. No more damn gimmicks to get noticed. We are going to do our talking in the ring. All these teams know they can't outwrestle us, so they have to get lucky or cheat. WATSON: We'll take on anyone any time. Just sign the dotted line. Cold Spell, Armed Forces, we don't care. Anybody. [Fade] ************************************************************************** NIGHTWING ~~~~~~~~~~ [Nightwing stands in the IIWF interview area, the eagle Chiquoit perched on his arm.] NW: Randy Acorn, you insulted my people once and I did not forget. Now you seek to gain my attention by insulting me personally. You made a much bigger mistake the first time. Acorn, I fight for my people. I am proud of whom I am and my heritage. I do not need dresses or other disguises to hide my true self. I have another task at hand, but it is apparent that you must learn a lesson first. Make the match, Randy Acorn... Nightwing accepts your challenge. Ni chokquo lo michawa... Your fate is now in the hands of my spirits. They will tell you that your worst nightmare now has a name... Nightwing! [Chiquoit lets out a loud cry as the shot fades.] ************************************************************************** STEVE "THE FURY" KOWALSKI ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Steve Kowalski stands in the IIWF interview area.] SK: So, President Spreadbury, it seems to me that yer gonna protect the "Party Enema" 'til Ring Wars III. That's fine, since I'm the biggest heat machine goin' right now. Everybody wants a part of the Fury. Sandcastle, Thunder, Shakes... names keep a comin'. So to keep me in shape fer that next IC match, I'm gonna steal a page outta "Trash" Kauffman's book. I'm going on a retirement tour. I ain't retirin', I'm retirin' every mother[BLEEP]er on this list: 1. Sandman gets it on Saturday 2. American Patriot, 'cause he ain't American made. 3. Brody Thunder has been beggin' fer a SKULLPUMP. 4. Billy Shakes, since he loves gettin' his name in the paper. Even if it's in the obituaries. 5. Any punk with a strap, don't care who! Hopefully I'll get a good workout. Tell all them punks to get some contracts made. The Fury is on a retirement tour... THEIRS! ************************************************************************** CREED ~~~~~~ ["The CEO and Creed are in the IIWF interview area. Creed is pacing in the background while The CEO is waving what appears to be a ticket at the camera.] CEO: Quid pro quo, Watkins. Are you busy next Saturday night? We've got a ringside seat waiting for you at the IIWF Coliseum. You think you're a hard guy, that you can treat my man like some mid-carder in Ft. Wayne? Come take a look, Watkins. Saturday night, come take a look at what Creed is going to do to the Intercontinental Champion of the World -- and then we'll see just how badly you want to get in the ring with this "pup". ************************************************************************** ANONYMOUS ~~~~~~~~~~ [Cut to footage subtitled, "Wrestlevision: This Weekend." A shadowy figure sits against a bright white light, so only a fuzzy image can be seen.] JK: This is Jon King of WrestleVision, the independant Wrestling News Network. I'm here today with a wrestler -- an IIWF wrestler -- who wishes to clarify the situation involving RSR and Mr.Mic. But he fears for his safety and so we have arranged for his voice to be altered and his image blurred. His name has been changed to protect him as well. First of all, can you confirm that you are an IIWF wrestler? ??: I can. Here are my documents. JK: They all seem in order. Okay, tell me what you saw. ??: Well, I'd only been in IIWF for a couple of days when I was sitting in the locker rooms and RSR came in. They didn't see me. But they were quickly followed by Mr.Mic. JK: Did you hear the conversation? ??: Yes. JK: And...? ??: Well, they were laughing around to start with, and there was lots of translating going on. Lots of Japanese being spoken. But the English that they did speak... well, I didn't like the sound of it. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. JK: What were you hearing? Were they conspiring? ??: Not so much conspiring as making a deal. A few minutes later a big guy entered carrying a briefcase, and I heard "$1million" being mentioned. JK: Do you think RSR have sold out? ??: Most definitely. Most definitely indeed. JK: And you wouldn't just be saying that for the love of your country, and the fact that your country and RSR's are in direct economic competition? ??: No. But I want to tell you something else. This wasn't the first time I've seen this happen. And it wasn't the last. There is a lot of money changing hands behind the scenes. A lot of people are being paid to throw matches. People you wouldn't expect to throw matches. Take the match between Kauffman and the Subway Psycho. Kauffman was paid to throw that match. JK: By who? ??: I don't know. Nobody working in the IIWF, I think. But I tell ya, Jon, there is a hell of a lot of corruption within the IIWF, and it needs to be addressed NOW! It's so un-American. JK: Have you ever taken a bribe? ??: Never. JK: Could you tell me any more names? ??: No. Not because I don't know any, but because I fear what will happen to me. Let me say this though, a lot of people know what is going on. It's very wide-spread. And with the IIWF being even more high-profile than ever, the money is just going through the roof. It's becoming too tempting. JK: Will you ever be tempted? ??: Some things are more important than money. JK: Thank you very much. I think this proves, without a doubt, that not only are RSR in alliance with Mr.Mic, but even more worringly, corruption is deep-set within the IIWF. There needs to be an official inquiry, and there needs to be one now. For WrestleVision, this is Jon King signing off. [Fade] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+