##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== W + E + D + N + E + S + D + A + Y W + A + R R + O + O + M ----------------------------------------------- + 26 February 1997 + [Fade through to a darkened studio: a figure sits behind a curved desk, behind which a large video wall, made up of a number of individual television screens, fades into life, each screen showing highlights from a different recent IIWF match. The studio lights rise, and the figure is revealed to be veteran announcer Tim Dross, who looks up from his papers and speaks:] TD: Hello there, fans, and welcome once again to the War Room. Back with you after being pre-empted by the Hairball Kennel Club Cat Show from Walla Walla, Washington last week -- and what a show _that_ was -- we've got sixty minutes of great IIWF news and action coming your way. I'm Tim Dross, and it's a one-man show this week, because Becky LaRue hasn't been seen since she bade farewell to the retired "Outlaw" J.W. Hardin on Saturday Night. We're sure she'll be back in time for Friday's "Countdown to Saturday Night", however. In any case, fans, you shouldn't miss Becky, because we have a whole load of action to talk about here in the War Room this week. It's been an eventful night in the IIWF Coliseum, and I'll be bringing you all the details of tonight's matches. Coming up in this hour: [Footage of earlier action rolls on the video wall behind the desk: Billy Shakespeare stands alone in the ring.] TD: The mysterious Spur keeps Billy Shakespeare waiting... which is when the "Lone Wolf" chooses to pounce. [Footage of Icehawk of Cold Spell performing a suicide dive from the top turnbuckle to the arena floor, levelling Omar of the New Arabian Knights.] TD: The fans were thrilled by the explosive speed and power combination of newcomer tag team Cold Spell. [Footage of Otto Verhoeven and a deshevelled Stud Stetson brawling outside the ring.] TD: The Butcher and the fallen Superstar of the IIWF get it on both inside and outside the ring. [Footage of Marty Warnett standing in the ring while Team Sychosys -- Joe Petrow and Majestic Maurice McArthur -- confer on the outside.] TD: Devious Joe Petrow had another upset in mind when he pitted his tag team partner, Majestic Maurice McArthur, against the IIWF Intercontinental Champion, Marty Warnett. [The IIWF logo fades back onto the video wall.] TD: All that and much more, fans, plus we'll be looking ahead to all the action coming your way this Saturday Night live from the IIWF Coliseum. Let's get straight to the recap: [Images of the wrestlers and their stats roll onto the video wall:] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Ronnie Paris vs. "Nifty" Ned Norton 210lbs, 6'0" 245lbs, 6'2" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Fortune hasn't been kind to Paris lately, and neither has the mysterious Spur. Paris has had his problems both with the masked man, and even with his ally "Real Deal" Luke Steele. Tonight, he clearly had both on his mind: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Ronnie Paris is backstage, wearing his usual singlet plus a Luke Steele t-shirt. He is compulsively tying and re-tying his boots.] RP: Ned Norton tonight... the "Nifty One"... they say he may surprise me. I had a whole load of suprises dumped on me lately. I have a mystery opponent this Saturday, and Spur you'd better pick damn well because I'm coming in prepared for anything! I got saddled with a Wildcard of a surprise, but I'm dealing with that too. At least I have the American Patriot on my side. The only other respectable wrestler in that match, and I'm lucky to have him with me, because I know from experience that he's good. But wait, did I forget the "Real Deal"? He's respectable, right? No, I'm afraid that costing a "friend" his match doesn't earn respect. I'm afraid that calling everyone Baby Doll doesn't either. Ned Norton ain't my Baby Doll, he's my punching bag tonight. You can call yourself the "Real Deal", but Norton calls himself "Nifty". Neither one of those means a damn thing, and I'm set to prove that. [Cut back to the studio.] TD: Paris wrestled his match unimpeded tonight, despite the fact that he seemed to be looking over his shoulder for Spur to arrive at any moment. Ronnie made short work of the "Nifty" one, debuting an impressive new move which he has christened the "Paris-Plex", a variation on the back suplex in which Paris rolls over the suplex wrestler, hooks both his legs, and pins him almost before he even lands. It really has to be seen to be believed, folks, but it's certainly a move which can pull a quick pinfall victory out of the hat at a moment's notice. Paris scored the three-count here on Norton with ease. [WINNER: Ronnie Paris by pinfall in 5:53.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= W & W EXPRESS vs. BARNACLE BROTHERS Clark Watson & Doug Wayne Barnacle #1 & Barnacle #2 comb. 500lbs comb. 550lbs =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: The partnership of "Late Night" Doug Wayne and Clark "Beach Bum" Watson has gotten off to a slow start here in the IIWF, but they showed in the ring tonight that their fortunes might well be on the upturn. As soon as the W & W Express hit the ring tonight, they pounced on their opponents. Wayne threw one of the unfortunate Barnacles out of the ring to the concrete arena floor, and both he and Watson then proceeded to double-team the other man. They showcased some impressive double suplexes and clothesline variants, completely knocking the wind out of the Barnacle before the referee had a chance to clear the ring. Eventually, Watson hit one of the Barnacles with a DDT, and then carried him to the top rope. The fans then got their first chance to see the Express' Vegitator -- superplexed from the top rope, the Barnacle was then squashed by a flying legdrop from the opposite corner by Wayne, who then made the cover and the count. After the match, Doug Wayne grabbed the mic and informed the crowd, "Take a look, IIWF losers! This peon could be you!" Both men then continued to beat on the downed Barnacles until being dragged away by security. As you can imagine, this didn't endear the Express to the fans in the Coliseum -- but it was an impressive performance tonight, and the tag teams of the IIWF would do well not to underestimate the talents of Wayne and Watson. [WINNERS: W & W Express by pinfall in 8:13.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Serge Annis vs. Jumpin' Jack 293lbs, 6'8" 230lbs, 6'1" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Serge Annis has been becoming increasingly bizarre over the past few weeks -- painting his face, deliberately cutting himself, and being scarred by a fire attack from the White Phoenix -- but his quirks certainly don't make him any less dangerous in the ring. His witless opponent tonight was the clown-like Jumpin' Jack, who quickly found himself on the wrong end of an Annis assault. However, about two minutes into the match, the Music Of The Unknowingly Damned, the theme music of newcomer Requiem, one of Annis' opponents in the forthcoming Dead Man Rising match at Ring Wars III, began to play over the auditorium's sound system. Fans and officials alike were mystified, wondering where the music was coming from. Suddenly, the lights dropped, only to rise again a split second later, to find Requiem standing at ringside. Requiem just stood there, pointing at Annis in the ring for a few moments -- and Requiem certainly had Annis' attention. Then he reached for his guitar, and started to play his music once more. The lights dropped again, and then rose again a split second later. No Requiem. This was truly a disappearing trick worthy of the master of the mind game, Deathbringer... perhaps Requiem has been taking lessons? In any case, Requiem's psychological ploys couldn't cost Annis the match, despite Jack capitalising on Annis' distraction and jumping him from behind, and Serge quickly took control once more, finishing Jack off with his deadly chokeslam. [WINNER: Serge Annis by pinfall in 6:05.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= COLD SPELL vs. NEW ARABIAN KNIGHTS Icehawk & Edmund Fitzgerald Prince Abdul Akmar & Omar comb. 500lbs comb. 595lbs =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Cold Spell, the unlikely partnership of former Olympic gymnast Icehawk and gritty survivor Edmund Fitzgerald, displayed once again tonight why they are one of the most exciting new tag teams to ever have entered the IIWF. Icehawk and Fitz have already progressed into the quarterfinals of the US Title tourney, where they will face either Pain Inc. or Night Patrol, and tonight, they went up against the floundering New Arabian Knights, who, despite the return of their old manager, the Grand Vizier, have been struggling as of late, getting knocked out of the tournament in the first round. They showed signs of distraction in the ring tonight -- a dangerous mistake, for Icehawk can capitalise on a moment's hesitation with a lightning-fast aerial manoeuvre in the blink of an eye. He made numerous dives over the ropes to the outside, moonsaults off the ropes in the middle of the ring, and flying hurricaranas, victory rolls and frankensteiners. Even against the huge Omar, Icehawk's speed enabled him to get around the ring like greased lightning, and although his diminutive size meant that he was unable to hold either the Prince or Omar down to the mat for the three count, he certainly rocked them with his speed. Fitz, on the other hand, used his methodical, scientific and power-based onslaught to wear down the Prince once he was trapped in the ring, and although his style is not as spectacular as Icehawk's, it is arguably more effective. Cold Spell eventually trapped the Knights in the Gales of November, Fitz's Shipwreck Slam spinebuster followed by Icehawk's Arctic Blast flipping legdrop. The Vizier berated his men after their disappointing loss, and I understand that all might not be well in the Knights' camp. [WINNERS: Cold Spell by pinfall in 13:16.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF United States Tag Team Championship Tournament Match: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= THE ZODIAC CONNECTION vs. THE PLAYERS' CLUB Scorpio & Taurus Danny Dynamite & Michael Reyna comb. 575lbs comb. 470lbs ----------------------------------------------------------------------- TD: Nobody expected the Players' Club to even show up for their match tonight. Having been granted injury leave by the front office, Dynamite and Reyna were believed to have returned to Reyna's home in Minnesota to convalesce, but that turned out not to be the case. They showed up at the Coliseum, beaten and bandaged, and despite their injuries, wrestled the Zodiacs, earning the respect of the Coliseum fans. The Zodiacs, however, coming off the back of a frustrating title loss on Saturday night, were in no mood to be charitable: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Scorpio, Taurus and Gemini stand in the locker room area.] GE: Gentlemen, please inform the public what we have discussed! TA: Players' Club, how unfortunate for you that you have to be first in line to face the Zodiac Connection soon after we had the World Tag Titles stolen from us! SC: Fans, I hope you find it in your hearts to forgive us for what we are about to do. [Cut back to the studio.] TD: And it was certainly a more focused and intense Zodiac Connection we saw out there tonight. Let's go to some footage from the opening of the match. Your commentators at ringside are Larry Morton and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." With the Players' Club, bandaged up, already in the ring, the Zodiac Connection enter the arena with a sprint. Unlike most of their matches, they do not stop to acknowledge the fans' cheers. The Gemini twins follow slowly behind with warpaint on their faces and wearing army fatigues, staring straight at the ring. The Gemini twins have anger written all over their faces as they demand an aggressive attack on the part of the Zodiac Connection. Both members of the two teams stand in the ring, preparing to face off. Suddenly, a voice blares over the house speakers:] PA: [in a child's voice] Awwww, DID DA WIDDLE STAR-BOYS LOSE THEIR GOLD? DAT'S TOO BAD. [The voice becomes normal] You boys obviously need to see what a real team looks like. LM: Hey, that's Mr.Mic's voice! SR: [sarcastically] Boy, Larry, nothing gets by you! [White Zombie's "More Human Than Human" blares over the PA to a big heel pop. Mr. Mic and Pain Inc. come down to ringside, all of them wearing Team Brutality T-shirts. Morningstar and Hellraiser are carrying steel chairs. Mr. Mic saunters down to ringside, grinning from ear to ear. Both members of Pain Inc. ignore the insults of both teams as they make their way down. Mr. Mic then claps his hands together and Pain Inc. open their chairs and sit down at ringside.] LM: I don't believe this. Pain Inc. absolutely despise the Zodiac Connection, not to mention the Players' Club, and yet they're just sitting there, completely focused on the Zodiacs. SR: In case it had escaped your attention, Barry, Mr. Mic has got these guys more under control than ever before. LM: It's Larry, Steve. In any case, we'll see about that... [The referee signals for the bell, and the match gets underway. Cut back to the studio.] TD: Despite the distraction of Pain Inc. at ringside, the Zodiac Connection resolved to stay focused throughout, and they put on an impressive display for the fans, working the Players' Club methodically throughout the match. In the end, the injuries of Dynamite and Reyna proved to be too much for them, and the Zodiacs pulled off the pinfall victory after their Zodiac Splash rocket launcher. After the match, the Zodiacs had a few words for the IIWF World Tag Team Champions. Let's go to their comments: [Cut back to footage of the match. The Players' Club are helped to their feet by the Zodiacs, and leave the ring after shaking hands with Scorpio and Taurus to a rousing ovation from the crowd. The Zodiacs grab a microphone and speak over the cheers:] TA: Disciples, if you were men, you would go right back to the IIWF suits and tell them you want one more title match against the Zodiac Connection... in a steel cage! SC: There are those who deserve the belts and there are those who run away with the belts. Disciples, we want to dance one more time! We have stung you before and I know we can sting you one more time! [They throw down the microphone and leave the ring, Gemini in tow. Cut back to the studio.] TD: The Zodiac Connection will now progress into the quarterfinals to face either the Armed Forces or the Prophets of Rage, who clash on March 8. The Players' Club, on the other hand, can return to Minnesota with their heads held high. They'll be back -- and when they come back, the rest of the tag teams in the IIWF had better be on their guard. [WINNERS: the Zodiac Connection by pinfall in 17:22.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= IIWF United States Tag Team Championship Tournament Match: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= THE HANGMEN vs. RISING SUN REVOLUTION Hangman #1 & Hangman #2 Ryudo Kenjinata & Hiroshi Kasai comb. 715lbs comb. 570lbs ----------------------------------------------------------------------- TD: The second of tonight's US Tag Title tourney matches saw two teams with considerable history square off in the ring once more. Watched from the aisle by Edmund Fitzgerald, one half of Cold Spell, the team whom the winners of this match will face on March 8, the Hangmen and Rising Sun Revolution both left the ring looking more like they had been in a war than a wrestling match. But that's exactly what the Hangmen's adviser, the "Judge" Roy Bean, had in mind: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." The "Judge" Roy Bean addresses the two Hangmen in the locker room.] JRB: As you see boys, two of our old enemies are back in the ring with us. My father used to say that Rising Sun Revolution was one of the top teams here in the IIWF. The battles they have fought with us and HPD will go down in the books as some of the most violent matches ever seen in the IIWF. I have sent The Hangman to the far reaches of the globe on a quest for even more knowledge. The Hangman should be back in a few weeks with a secret only known to my father and a man who dropped from sight about the same time he died. This information would have been passed on during the fatal tour, but as we all know that was not possible. The man in question went into hiding shortly after learning of my father's death. Hangman Inc. detectives have located this man and he has agreed to speak with The Hangman only. So boys, your match tonight is a showcase of your talents, and yours alone. I want you to be extreme. I want you to take it to a limit that will make the IIWF shudder. I want you as close to the line as you have ever been. Risking the wrath of the President and all the other mucky-mucks in the IIWF. Now get in there and make HANGMAN INC. PROUD! [Cut back to the studio.] TD: Ryudo and Hiroshi have been at the centre of a considerable amount of controversy in recent weeks, largely thanks to the unfounded rumours started by former friends Domination that they had sold out to Team Brutality. The fans still seem reticent to trust their former favourites, and the Revolution once again found themselves up against a negative crowd reaction in the Coliseum tonight. However, whereas before such a reaction caused the Japanese superstars to lose their motivation, tonight it served only to make them more determined, and this match really turned up the heat. Both teams took a great deal of punishment both inside and outside the ring, with all manner of ringside furniture -- chairs, ringposts, tables -- being brought into the fray, and after twenty minutes, it was difficult to see how either team was going to be able to walk from the ring. Ultimately, the decision was enforced upon the wrestlers, as Domination ran to ringside and set about Ryudo on the outside while Hiroshi was being double-teamed by the Hangmen on the inside. The crowd really didn't know what to make of the attack, and frankly nor do I, but in the confusion, Ryudo was somehow rolled into the ring and covered for the three count. Despite him not being the legal man, the referee awarded the match to the Hangmen, who advance to face Cold Spell next Saturday Night. Something has to give between Domination and the Revolution, and I'm betting that payback is going to come sooner rather than later for Mistress' men. [WINNERS: The Hangmen by pinfall in 24:11.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Spur vs. "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare 230lbs, 6'2" 230lbs, 6'2" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Spur continues to make waves here in the IIWF as he toys with the future of Ronnie Paris, but tonight he failed to even make so much as a ripple, failing to appear for his match with "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare, who ended up in the ring on his own, waiting for the arrival of an opponent who never came. However, another man _did_ come down to the ring -- none other than the "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder, who is still baying for Shakespeare's blood. Billy snubbed his demand for a match at Ring Wars III, and Thunder is not amused, as you can see from this footage: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Billy Shakespeare stands in the ring opposite the "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder, who grabs the ring announcer's microphone and, after waiting for the heel pop to die down, speaks to Shakespeare, who simply folds his arms and smiles at Thunder:] BT: Looks like yer man didn't show, Billy-boy. He's a bigger coward than you are. So now ya don't have a match, huh? Well, what a coincidence, son, cuz... neither do I. So I got a deal fer ya, Billy-boy. Instead o' just takin' the night off an' headin' back ta that trailer o' yers in Ashland... why doncha be a man an' get in this ring right now, an' we can settle our debt. We ain't gotta wait til Ring Wars III, son. Let's do it now. Or are ya yella?! [Brody and the crowd await Billy's answer. Billy starts towards the steps. When he gets there he looks up at Thunder, smiles, and keeps on going up the aisle to the locker room,leaving Thunder fuming in the ring.] BT: Oh no... don't think yer gettin' off that easy, pal. If ya won't come to the Lone Wolf... then by God, the Lone Wolf'll come ta you! [Thunder slams down the mic and heads up the aisle after Billy. However, before he can reach Shakespeare, a large contingent of officials and security descend on Thunder and hold him back, allowing Shakespeare to slip unharmed into the locker room area, while Thunder struggles to free himself, yelling abuse at all in sight. Cut back to the studio.] TD: So Shakespeare takes a victory without so much as moving a muscle, and continues to infuriate big Brody Thunder. Will these two get it on at some point in the future? Only time will tell. [WINNER: Billy Shakespeare by forfeit.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Marty Warnett vs. Majestic Maurice McArthur 245lbs, 5'11" 245lbs, 6'2" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Team Sychosys shocked the world on Saturday night when they defeated accomplished tag team G.W.R. to advance into the quarterfinals of the US Tag Title tourney. It's no secret that "Sychosys" Joe Petrow is a few sandwiches short of a picnic, but he seems to be playing a few mind games with his own tag team partner, prelim wrestler Majestic Maurice McArthur, and apparently has him believing that he can contend for the Intercontinental Championship here in the IIWF. Needless to say, when his request to have Championship rules stipulated for tonight's match between Triple M and Warnett was turned down by the booking committee, he wasn't a happy man: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Backstage at the IIWF Coliseum. Majestic Maurice McArthur is in the background, wearing sunglasses and folding his arms in a stiff pose. "Sychosys" Joe Petrow takes centre stage in front of the camera.] JP: Well NOW we see the corruption running rampant here in the IIWF! They've taken the franchise of Team Sychosys, the hottest wrestler in the IIWF today, and saddled him with a NON-TITLE match with Marty Warnett! Well Marty, Spreadbury may be able to protect your title, but not even the HAND OF GOD HIMSELF can save you from the beating you're gonna get tonight! Triple M is gonna kick your ass, and that's a promise! [Triple M is turning different colors, as it becomes apparent that he hasn't taken a breath for the whole interview. Cut back to the studio.] TD: And so it came to the match. Intercontinental Champion Marty Warnett has learned not to underestimate any opponent in the past few weeks, and particularly so when that opponent is accompanied to the ring by Joe Petrow. Nonetheless, Petrow seemed content to stay away from the ring and let Warnett wrestle McArthur fair and square -- which simply led to McArthur getting beaten up pretty badly, pretty quickly. Warnett was letting off steam after his frustrating loss to Creed on Saturday night -- a man he considers to be a "one-dimensional brawler" -- and he really let rip on McArthur in the ring. However, just before Warnett was able to finish McArthur off, Petrow grabbed the IC belt, jumped into the ring and waffled Marty with the strap, granting him a victory by disqualification. While Marty was groggy from the blow, Petrow then held him in place for McArthur to kick him in the backside, before Team Sychosys left ringside, Petrow pumping up Triple M's ego all the while. Warnett won't have time to ponder his minor embarrassment at Petrow's antics, however, since he's going to be facing the Sandman in a title match on Saturday Night. Team Sychosys, on the other hand, is going into a quarterfinal US Tag Title tourney match against the impressive Harlequins. But more on that later. [WINNER: Marty Warnett by disqualification in 5:21.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= G.W.R. vs. ALPHABET BOYS Loco & Spoiler Abie & Zed comb. 545lbs comb. 589lbs =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Team Sychosys advanced in the US Tag Title tourney at the expense of established journeymen G.W.R., who were certainly not happy at the defeat. The fact that they were in no mood to talk is made evident by these terse comments from Spoiler made earlier this evening: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Kane, his bodyguard, and Loco and Spoiler stand in the locker room area. None of them look happy:] Spoiler: First things first... ABoys, this isn't anything personal. It's just that you happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. Sorry, but that's the way the cookie crumbles. Oh, and Petrow... [he pauses] don't think you've seen the last of us. [Cut back to the studio.] TD: G.W.R. hit the ring like a house on fire tonight, and they clearly didn't have any time for the ABoys' somewhat bizarre and irreverent antics, taking the fight straight to them even before the bell. Of course, the ABoys are more than capable of holding their own in a brawl -- after all, it's what they do best -- but they seemed to lack the ferocity of G.W.R. in the ring tonight. After a lengthy see-saw battle, G.W.R. eventually triumphed after the Terminus. [WINNERS: G.W.R. by pinfall in 19:43.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven vs. "Superstar" Stud Stetson 340lbs, 6'8" 285lbs, 6'7" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: The main event in the Coliseum tonight pitted against each other two men who will face off on opposite teams in the Wild Card match at Ring Wars III. The Butcher has been trying to get inside the head of the crestfallen "Superstar" Stud Stetson, with whom I spoke this afternoon: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Today." A shot of the dimly-lit boiler room with the sound of the humming generator. "Superstar" Stud Stetson, still wearing the same clothes and clutching the leather strap, is crouched in the far corner of the room beside a blue sleeping bag and black pillow. Tim Dross is seen walking down the stairs and makes his way towards Stetson, who gets up and meets him halfway.] SS: [once again the calm quiet voice] Good evening, Dross. TD: [surprised] I never thought I would hear those words uttered from your lips, Stetson. SS: Come on, Dross, by now you must see I am a changed man. This new lifestyle has made me much more humble and in some ways caring. But caring does not mean I have become gentle in the ring. Tonight Herr Verhoeven will find out I have a newfound intenseness. I will take it to Otto like never before. This match is possibly the biggest match of my career. Tonight I face the type of man I have requested for weeks. A man who has that much sought-after respect. Verhoeven, I am going to pull off moves tonight that noone thought I could ever do. These last few weeks have been a living hell for me and tonight you will experience what I have gone through. [glares hard into the camera] Lace, this is my first step back to the man I once was. Verhoeven, let me warn you, though: this is only a taste of what I have in store for you and your teammates at Ring Wars... the big show at which I hope I can gain it all back. TD: You seem focused, but can I ask you why you keep yourself in such shabby shape? You must have other clothing. You could use the locker rooms for a shower... and what's with this leather strap? SS: So many questions, and I do have the answers... but tonight, my only goal is to earn Herr Verhoeven's respect. And respect I will get. [Stetson slowly makes his way up the stairs as the camera fades. Cut back to the studio.] TD: Stetson is a broken man, folks. Some might even call him pathetic. In any case, his so-called "home" was paid a visit a little earlier tonight by none other than the "Butcher" himself: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven is standing in the dimly-lit boiler room of the IIWF Coliseum. He kicks an empty beer can across the room, then turns to the camera.] OV: [a mocking grin on his face] So this here is your shelter for the time being. Really impressive, "Superstar". You, my friend, represent the true American citizen: For a small time you were on the top of the world, king of the hill, a champion in your own right. But look at yourself now. You are a hopeless bum, abandoned by your girl, and even fate has turned against you, because, at Ring Wars III you stand on the wrong side of the ring... if you make it there. Tonight I'll give you a taste of what the Butcher, the German Juggernaut, can do to a rotten goofball like you. Tonight, you have to enter the SLAUGHTERHOUSE! [He looks around, then goes to a dark corner. After a moment he returns, carrying a baseball-bat-sized lead pipe in his right hand. His smile widens to a grin as the camera zooms to an close-up of his face.] OV: This is going to be fun. [Cut back to the studio.] TD: Interestingly, the mysterious Oak, head of the religious sect which appears to have ensnared the Venusian Death Cell, was ringside for this match, but none of his minions were present, and he made no move to make contact with either of the combatants. Watched by his Wild Card partner, Ronnie Paris, who took up station in the aisle in his Luke Steele t-shirt, Stetson came out for his match wearing the same torn clothing and still carrying the leather strap -- why, I don't know -- ignoring the fans on his way to the ring and apparently completely focused on the match. He is certainly sincere in his desire to impress his estranged valet and companion, Lace, and he was determined to make an example out of Verhoeven in the ring tonight. That focus and determination was severely challenged by both Verhoeven and his valet, Nurse Heidi, both of whom verbally taunted Stetson right from the outset, using derogatory terms like "loser", "bum", even telling him that he didn't deserve Lace in the first place. Clearly, Verhoeven wanted to draw Stetson into a brawl, since he outweighs the smaller man by no small margin, but at first, the tactic was ineffective. Stetson hit the big German with all manner of high-impact manoeuvres, and even tried to take to the air at one point -- which proved to be a mistake. Stetson took too long getting to the top buckle, and Verhoeven threw Stetson down into the ring, thus beginning a period of domination by the Butcher, who began working over Stetson's back and shoulder, using holds such as backbreakers, a military press slam and a running shoulderbreaker. However, Stetson had the presence of mind to block the Slaughterslam, and jammed a thumb into Verhoeven's eye, somehow switching the balance back in his favour. From there, the match went to the outside, and quickly degenerated into an uncontrollable brawl, which resulted in both men being counted out. Before the referee could separate the two men, Verhoeven grabbed his length of lead piping, and began striking Stetson with it repeatedly, refusing to back down until security literally dragged him away from ringside. Stetson had to be helped back to the locker room, clutching his ribs. Amazingly, it seems that he has not been seriously injured by the attack, only sustaining severe bruising. He will be out of action for seven to ten days, but should be fit to return to active duty by next Saturday Night. [Match ruled a double countout after 17:42.] TD: Well, folks, that just about wraps things up here for another week, but before I leave you, let's take a quick look at the action coming your way this Saturday Night, live from the IIWF Coliseum. With only three weeks until Ring Wars III, the temperature is sure to rise this Saturday night, so don't miss one second of the action. The US Tag Title tourney will continue, as the two partnerships of Team Brutality, Pain Inc. and Night Patrol, square off to determine who advances to the semi-finals. Although any friction is publicly denied by both Mr. Mic and Brenda Hawkings, you have to believe that both Pain Inc. and Night Patrol want to be the team wearing the US Tag Titles come Ring Wars III. Mr. Mic has even made another appearance on top-rated talk show, "Larry King Live", last night. Let's take you to that footage: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Courtesy of CNN. Last Night." The setting is "Larry King Live". Larry King is seated at his desk, and across from him is Mr. Mic.] LK: Welcome back to Larry King Live. As I reported here a couple of months ago, professional wrestling is becoming one of the most popular spectator sports in the world. Sell-outs are commonplace and the wrestlers themselves have become folk heroes to many a young fan. I have here tonight a returning guest, a manager who currently manages one of the most destructive, lethal tag-teams in the sport and who is one of the brains behind Team Brutality. Ladies and gentleman, I give you Mr. Mic. MM: Thank you, Larry. LK: Hello, welcome back. Let's get right down to it. Tell us about Team Brutality. MM: Very simple, Larry. In the IIWF, there is simply too much jumping people from behind. Almost every night Pain Inc. would wrestle and they would get jumped, sneak attacked from yellow-bellied teams like the Zodiac Connection, The Armed Forces and the rest. I saw the Night Patrol enter onto the scene and they impressed me, impressed me a lot. They have the same attitude, same ability, and most importantly they have desire to win. I approached Brenda Hawkings, proposed the deal, and voila.... here we are. LK: Great. Now lemme make sure this is correct. Both Team Brutality members are wrestling each other on Saturday in this US Tag Team Title tourney? MM: Right, Larry. Both teams know that only one of us can win. All the members of Team Brutality have met regarding this and we have decided that whomever gets knocked out will compete for the World titles. Night Patrol and Pain Inc. are friends and business partners. What may be a loss now will reap benefits in the long run. LK: You used to have a "stable" with the Armed Forces, didn't you? MM: Yes, Larry, but the Night Patrol care about Team Brutality as a whole, not like the Forces, who were out there for themselves. See, they were very selfish and as such it cost them their titles and their manager, whom, I recall, recommended they retire. Not bad advice -- especially if you take a look at them. LK: What about two teams in particular: The Zodiac Connection and the Dark Disciples? MM: First of all, the Zodiac Connection are losers, plain and simple. Sure, they won the titles, but then lost them again last week. I've seen fruit flies have longer lifespans than the Zodiacs' championship reign [he laughs]. As for the Disciples and McQueen, those three blow more hot air than a balloon race. Pain Inc. come down and help them win back their titles and they have the nerve to insult us. Kane, you will live up to your name... you try anything with Team Brutality and that's what you'll need... A CANE! As for the Big Bad Wulf, we're gonna huff and puff and kick your butt all around the ring. As for McQueen, this is a man's sport, boy, [he removes his sunglasses and points them at the camera] SO STAY OUTTA MY WAY! LK: Thank you, Mr. Mic, and good luck with Team Brutality. MM: Thanks, Larry. LK: We'll be right back after this. [Cut back to the studio.] TD: The other quarterfinal match in the tourney this Saturday sees the Harlequins take on the odd couple of the IIWF, "Sychosys" Joe Petrow and Majestic Maurice McArthur. The Harlequins were on hand tonight in the IIWF Coliseum to scout out Petrow and Triple M, and Larry Morton got a few words with them backstage: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." The Harlequins are in the locker rooms with Larry Morton.] COMEDY: So let me get this straight, they're facing Joey Pedro... LM: Petrow. COMEDY: Whatever, and some prelim bum nicknamed... LM: 3M. CHAOS: He's named after an adhesive? COMEDY: Wait a minute... I don't get it? Why is Petri... LM: Petrow. COMEDY: Whatever, why is he even in the tournament? I thought only real tag teams were entered. Not some delusional mid-carder and his prelim buddy? MELODY: Yeah, have you seen this guy? And people call us clowns! LM: Please don't say that! TRAGEDY: I've been insulted before, but never quite like this. CHAOS: Hey, didn't this Puree... LM: Petrow! CHAOS: Yeah right, didn't he switch my music once? COMEDY: Oh yeah... He's gotta pay for that! MELODY: Definitely! TRAGEDY: That, and the fact that he's a disgrace to this sport! COMEDY: Alrighty then! Putrid and Glueboy! Here we come! LM: That's Pet... Oh, never mind! [The Harlequins erupt into an impromptu game of tag around Larry, who throws his arms up in despair. Cut back to the studio.] TD: The tag team division is really starting to heat up here in the IIWF, and we'll be seeing those two tourney matches live this Saturday Night. We're also going to see one of the longest-awaited rematches in recent history, as Dan Kauffman and Serge Annis finally get it on, and other incredible encounters feature the People's Champion, the Subway Psycho, battling Creed, and the White Phoenix going up against Requiem. Ronnie Paris will finally discover who his hand-picked opponent will be, courtesy of Spur, and Mad Dog Watkins will battle Dirt Dog Unique Allah. All that and a whole lot more coming your way on Saturday Night, folks! Before then, we'll have more "IIWF Classics" for you tomorrow, and on Friday, Larry Morton and Becky LaRue will once again "Countdown to Saturday Night". Keep it with the IIWF, folks! Until then, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! [The lights in the studio drop and the video wall fades to blackness as Dross resumes shuffling his papers. Fade] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+