[Open with a montage of IIWF action accompanied by hard rock music. The final chord lingers as the Subway Psycho hits the De-Railer on the Masked Marauder. Suddenly, the screen explodes into a mass of fire and smoke, through which emerges the IIWF's familiar logo:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION ================================================= "COUNTDOWN TO SATURDAY NIGHT" - February 28, 1997 ================================================= [Cut to the IIWF Studio. The remote camera zooms down the aisle as members of the studio audience scramble to get on camera. A man wearing an Oregon Chicken Ranch t-shirt waves his arms and clucks before turning to reveal a motto on the back of the shirt: "We specialize in Billy Shakespeare." A woman holds a homemade poster which reads, "The Burning Itch of Serge Annis." And a teenage boys screams, "Why wasn't Requiem at The Grammy Awards?!" The camera zooms toward Larry Morton and Becky LaRue sitting at the broadcast desk.] LM: Hello again everyone and welcome to another exciting installment of "Countdown to Saturday Night." I'm Larry Morton, and surprise... Becky LaRue has decided to return to work! BL: I... uh... had some business to take care of. Hehe. LM: Yes, well I don't think we need to hear the sordid details of that. We have a tremendous program coming up tonight, including a look back at Wednesday's big card, a preview of tomorrow night's incredible card, and interviews with the biggest stars in the IIWF. BL: All that... and Becky is back, too. LM: There _are_ other personalities here. Just remember, there is no "I" in IIWF and... hey, wait a minute.... BL: You were saying? LM: Let's just move on with... [Morton presses an index finger over his ear piece and listens for a moment] Hang on, I'm being told by the control room that there is a breaking story involving Steve Summer and the Arabian Knights. BL: That's a bit kinky even for me to think about. Hehe. LM: Do we have the video feed? Okay, let's cut to Steve and see what's going on. [Cut to the hotel where Steve Summer was supposed to be interviewing the Arabian Knights, the building is surrounded by police cars and camera crews. Several SWAT teams can be seen moving into position. Summer squats behind a police car.] SS: Larry, can you hear me? LM: You're coming through loud and clear, Steve. What's the situation? SS: Well Larry, this is astounding. As you know, I was here to interview the Arabian Knights. Well, just as I arrived, I heard a couple of gunshots ring out and the place has descended into chaos. The police have arrived en masse and have cordoned off the whole area. [Suddenly there is commotion in the background. The camera rises above the squad car and the police can be seen struggling with several figures, one of whom is obviously Omar of the Arabian Knights. Omar manages to break free of the policemen holding him, felling a couple of police officers with heavy blows, and makes a run for it. He doesn't get very far before he is felled by a bullet and he lies on the ground unmoving.] SS: I can't believe what I'm seeing, this was just supposed to be a simple interview now I find myself dodging bullets! [There is more commotion in the background. Prince Abdul and several other Arabian-looking men are dragged from the building and marched into an armored police van. A couple of paramedics move to the prone body of Omar and load him onto a stretcher. The armored van and ambulance drive off with a police escort, and the remaining policemen start to move the onlookers on] SS: This is incredible! I've never seen anything like this! One of the Arabian Knights arrested, the other shot. It would seem that everything is calming down now, but I'm going to stay with this and I'll keep you posted. [To the cameraman ] SS: Come on Ted, get a move on! This could get me a pay raise! [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: What can I say...? I'm at a loss for words. We've seen some strange things in the IIWF but nothing like this. But rest assured, folks, we will keep you up to date with any further developments and we'll try to contact Steve again before the end of the show. BL: [yelling off camera] Did Summer take a bullet, too? No? Damn! LM: Becky! This is a real tragedy, fans, but let's try to continue. Let's just go to the results of Wednesday's card in the IIWF Coliseum: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ IIWF WEDNESDAY WAR ROOM RESULTS FEBRUARY 26, 1997 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ RONNIE PARIS def. NED NORTON W & W EXPRESS def. BARNACLE BROTHERS SERGE ANNIS def. JUMPIN' JACK COLD SPELL def. NEW ARABIAN KNIGHTS ZODIAC CONNECTION def. THE PLAYERS' CLUB THE HANGMEN def. RISING SUN REVOLUTION BILLY SHAKESPEARE def. SPUR MARTY WARNETT def. MAURICE McARTHUR G.W.R. def. THE ALPHABET BOYS DOUBLE COUNTOUT: OTTO VERHOEVEN vs. STUD STETSON LM: And quite a night it was. The mysterious Requiem made a very Deathbringerish arrival during the Serge Annis-Jumpin' Jack match, but as quickly as you can say "lights out," he was gone again. BL: I don't know what "Wrecked"quiem was trying to prove, but he'd be better off concentrating on the "Dead Man Rising" match coming up at Ring Wars III. You can bet Deathbringer won't think that imitation is the highest form of flattery. LM: We also saw the return of the peculiar individual known only as Oak. He apparently has added The Cell to his cult, or sect, or whatever they're calling it. BL: Good riddance. [muttering to herself] That stinky ol' Cell spitting green stuff everywhere. Let Oak boy clean it up. LM: Oak seemed to be watching "Superstar" Stud Stetson very closely. With the changes taking place in Stetson's life, he'd seem very vulnerable to a group like that. BL: With one exception -- Oak is after money. We know the Venusian Death Weenie shelled out ten grand to join the little Oak Club. That kind of cash would seriously cut into Stetson's beer and pizza parties in the boiler room. Hehe. LM: There will be no parties thrown between Billy Shakespeare and Brody Thunder, who almost came to blows in the Coliseum Wednesday night. There was another confrontation between the two later in the evening. Our cameras were there: [SCENE: Backstage after Wednesday's bouts. Followed by the camera, Billy Shakespeare throws open the door to Brody Thunder's locker room. Thunder sits on a bench doing something suspicious with his elbow pad. He jumps quickly to his feet.] BS: You passed the audition Thunder. Congratulations... you're number one on my hit list. You want a match at Ring Wars... you got it. I threw away the contract with your name on it, so here is one with mine. "Wild and whirling words, my lord", let us see the fruit of them. [He extends the contract to Thunder, who snaps his fingers for a pen. The cameraman quickly produces one.] BT: Well, well, well... ya finally taken leave o' yer senses, son. A match with me? Hell ya ain't gotta ask me twice. I been waitin' on this fer a loooong time. I'll sign this 'lil ol' paper right here an' now... [Thunder rapidly signs the contract.] ...there. Now there ain't no way ta hide, Billy-boy. Yer gonna find out what just why I'm the best there is in this here sport. When I slap the Thunderbolt on ya it's gonna be nighty-night Little Billy Shakespeare. Ring Wars III? Yer gonna call it mandatory retirement... ya just don't know it yet, my friend. BS: Now that all the world has seen you sign, you might hold your braggart tongue and read the stipulation clause at the bottom of page three. "But that to come shall all be done by the rule." Antony and Cleopatra. [Shakespeare exits. Thunder turns the pages of the contract and reads it.] BT: ...mmmmmmmmmm...WHAT?! What the hell is this?! Oh no-no,Shakespeare... THIS ain't gonna happen! You ain't gettin' away with this y'hear me? Ya tricked me inta signin' this... this... THIS AIN'T HAPPENIN! YA HEAR ME SHAKESPEARE? GET THAT FRIGGIN' CAMERA OUTTA HERE NOW! [Thunder puts his hand over the lens. The camera goes abruptly to static. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] BL: Thunder sure wasn't happy about that, whatever it was. You should always read a contract before you sign it. LM: I suppose we'll have to follow that situation carefully. We'll also keep an eye on the tag scene, which continues to heat up. Pain Inc. made their presence felt during the Zodiac Connection's match on Wednesday, and Domination cost their former friends Rising Sun Revolution a shot at the IIWF U.S. Tag Team belts. The bad blood continues to boil with those teams. And we may see more violence boil over to tomorrow night's show, so let's preview the matches coming up at the IIWF Coliseum for "IIWF Saturday Night:" ************************************************************************** --------------------- IIWF SATURDAY NIGHT PREVIEW ---------------------- ************************************************************************** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * IIWF UNITED STATES TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP QUARTERFINAL MATCH: NIGHT PATROL vs. PAIN INC. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: The quarterfinals of the IIWF United States Tag Team Tournament get under way tomorrow night with two very interesting matches. BL: And the great thing about this match is that Team Brutality is assured a spot in the semifinals. Do Brenda Hawkings and Mr. Mic work well together or what? LM: On the surface, this is a great opportunity for Team Brutality, but the fact remains that either Night Patrol or Pain Inc. will lose this match. That will be hard for either team to accept, especially when you're dealing with massive egos. BL: Nothing heals a wound like a new Porsche. LM: [looking disgusted] So I've heard. Let's hear from Mr. Mic and see what he has planned for tomorrow night: [SCENE: Mr. Mic relaxes in a luxurious leather chair. He smiles casually at the camera.] MM: I love it! Not only has all of Team Brutality made it to the second round of the U.S Tag Team Tournament, but the laughing stock of the IIWF - the Zodiac Connection - has lost the tag belts! A warning to new teams entering the IIWF, if the Zodiacs ever win titles, DON'T BLINK! As for this Saturday night, Pain Inc is very proud and honored to finally be wrestling the cream of the IIWF crop Night Patrol. This match will be four highly trained, very methodical athletes engaging in a match for all times. The fans are gonna be treated to a show, but who cares about those idiot fans anyway? Hey, Zodiacs, Armed Farces, maybe you should watch our match. You may learn something. Finally, McQueen, what is going on with you? Team Brutality has nothing against the Disciples so what's your problem, huh?! You want to kick the crap out of the Zodiacs no problem. Hell, Team Brutality might even want to help. But coming down to ringside during our Pain Inc. match was not a smart move. I think the best solution is... we stay out of your business and you stay out of ours. By the way, congrats on becoming IIWF tag champs again. [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * IIWF UNITED STATES TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP QUARTERFINAL MATCH: TEAM SYCHOSYS vs. THE HARLEQUINS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: Our other quarterfinal match pits two rather unorthodox teams. BL: Let's leave their religions out of this! LM: I... huh? I'm speaking about the unusual nature of the Harlequins and the two men now known as Team Sychosys. There's no telling what we can expect in this match, as our Tim Dross learned when he visited the Harlequins earlier this week: [SCENE: The Puppet Master is talking to the Harlequins.] PM: Now puppet, you know what to do. TRAGEDY: Father, please stop calling me that. COMEDY: Hey, I think it's kinda cute... Hey, Timmy! [Tim Dross pulls up in his car.] TD: Hello Harlequins, Puppet Master... PM: Well, well, the infamous Tim Dross, my boys have told me a lot of good things about you. TD: Thank you, sir. It's an honor from a veteran such as yourself. PM: Now can you please explain why my sons have to lower themselves to advance in such a prestigious tournament? TD: I take it you're referring to "Sychosys" Joe Petrow. COMEDY: Damn skippy! TD: None of you have any respect for him, do you? COMEDY: He's horrible! No talent whatsoever, yet he thinks he can just walk in and demand titles! CHAOS: He's got an attitude problem. MELODY: And how! PM: You can't deny that can you Mr. Dross? TD: Well... PM: I said YOU CAN'T DENY THAT! Right? [grins evilly through his mask] TD: Uhh, of course not? TRAGEDY: Of Petrow sucked in the boardroom as much as he does in the ring, them maybe he's be a champion. But Tomorrow night, he faces us. And we have some surprises in store for him. TD: Surprises? CHAOS: Oh yeah...This is gonna be good! Wait 'til all the kids at school see what we're gonna do! PM: Patience little one... CHAOS: Dad! COMEDY: Oh Timmy, you're gonna love working with us! TD: Working with.... What are you...? VOICE: Peter! Tell the boys dinner's ready! PM: Coming dear! We have to go, Mr. Dross. VOICE: And make sure Christopher washes his hands! CHAOS: Mom! TD: I'll be going then. VOICE: Travis, does your girlfriend and her friend want to join us? COMEDY: Oh yeah! MELODY: Free Food! TRAGEDY: Mother! Don't use my real name! VOICE: Travis Quinn! Don't talk to me in that tone of voice! [Tim Dross leaves and the Harlequins head inside. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] BL: Kinda reminds me of a Steve Roberts family reunion. LM: I don't know that the Harlequins are _that_ bad. Ha! I said something funny. BL: Depends on how you look at it. LM: Anyway, Joe Petrow and Majestic Maurice McArthur shocked the world with a first-round victory over G.W.R. There's been a change in Triple M since he began hanging around with Petrow and I'm not sure I like it. BL: McArthur has gotten a taste of power and he's ready to take over the world... one town at a time: [SCENE: On location with Team Sychosys. Both men are dressed in black leather and sunglasses. Majestic Maurice McArthur is shivering a bit from the cold, but "Sychosys" Joe Petrow doesn't seem to notice it. They are standing near a small sign that says: Welcome to Quail Grove Population: 1120 Their breath is clearly visible as Petrow begins to speak.] JP: Tomorrow night, Team Sychosys with another big match in the United States Tag Team Title Tournament against those boys from the bad streets of Sleepy Hollow, Harlequin Heat. We got plenty of confidence in our own abilities, but we know that if we're gonna win this match, we've gotta get tough. We gotta be able to rule the streets just like you guys did! We gotta be DOWN! It would have been best if we could have gone to Sleepy Hollow itself, but we don't have the time to go that far, so we found a comparable town right here in Oregon. Triple M, LET'S GET BUSY! [A high-bass funky soundtrack plays in the background, as a series of still shots of Petrow and McArthur are shown: Team Sychosys making a def pose next to a large oak tree Petrow spray-painting "TS" on a statue of town founder Jacob James Team Sychosys running after a deer Team Sychosys stuffing snow into a mailbox Team Sychosys standing in front of the town library, making the official "3M Double Hand Sign" [3M still hasn't mastered it yet] JP: Well now the preparation is done, it's time to see if Team Sychosys has what it takes to rule the road! [Both men walk down Main Street. Approaching from the opposite direction is an elderly man, bearing a slight resemblance to Tim Dross' father. There is several feet of clearance between the two, but Petrow deliberately veers into him, and both men bump shoulders.] MAN: Oh dear, I'm terribly sorry! JP: Yo man, what it is wit you boy? You got a pomegranate or somethin'? MAN: I beg your pardon? JP: Oh, you is beggin' for a frosty mug o' whomp ass is what you beggin' for! [Petrow grabs the frightened man by the collar] You think you so bad, huh? [Petrow moves the man backward toward Triple M] You think just 'cause you owned these here streets for so long that you the man, huh? [McArthur ducks down, as Petrow and the man approach] Well, yo time is over, squash, because we two bad boys, is takin' over! [Petrow pushes the man, who gets schoolboyed over the body of McArthur, and falls to the ground. The man scrambles to his feet and runs away screaming "DEAR GOD, HELP ME!" as Petrow and McArthur throw snowballs at the fleeing figure. Petrow gives McArthur a high five.] JP: We did it man, this town is ours! And just like we took Quail Grove, I know we could take Sleepy Hollow, so I KNOW we can take out Harlequin Heat as well! Get ready rutabaga, cuz Team Sychosys is gonna rock your world! [Team Sychosys walks out of camera sight, as the faint sound of police sirens can be heard. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * SUBWAY PSYCHO vs. CREED ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: This is a main-event quality match on any card. The Subway Psycho has been a top star in the IIWF since its beginning, but Creed is recognized by many as the superstar who will carry the IIWF into the next century. BL: At least Creed bathes regularly. I think it's been at least a century since the Stinker touched water. LM: Saturday's showdown won't be about personal hygiene. The Psycho has a title shot coming up at Ring Wars III and he wants to prove he's ready for it. BL: That's a title shot that belongs to Creed, who wants to prove that _he_ and not the Stinker deserves to wear the belt: [SCENE: IIWF cameras return to the garlic fields of Central California and the secluded Corporate Camp. Adorning the primary entrance are seven rare palm trees - each imported from the Canary Islands and representing a victory in the IIWF for the man we now see in the makeshift ring... Creed. The big rookie is wrestling three masked men, each in the 250 lb. range. Creed is executing one high impact maneuver after another - a swinging neckbreaker here, a fallaway slam there, a couple of tiger bites and then a powerful spinning belly to belly suplex. Creed spits out his black mouthguard, stands and calmly addresses the camera.] CREED: I got nothing against the Subway Psycho. He walks his road. I walk mine. He's a good wrestler - the People's Champion. I got nothing against him at all. [Creed suddenly turns and charges one of the masked men - ramming him down with a hard lariat, then scooping him up and hurling him hard to the buckle. Creed races in and viciously pounds his sparring partner to the mat with a series of brutal right hands. Creed backs away, allowing his "opponent" to stagger a few steps forward - right into the gloved left hand. Creed snaps the 250 lb. man by the throat into the air, whips each of them a full 180 jaw-dropping degrees in mid-air with the velocity of a rubber band - then thunderously drives him down to the mat with a bone jarring chokeslam. Creed hops to his feet and stands cockily above the fallen wrestler... almost daring him to rise... then quickly regains his composed demeanor and again addresses the camera.] Of course, I got nothing against _him_ either. Tomorrow night, Subway, you are in my way - and one way or the other, you're gonna have to move. [The sparring partner just manages to raise his head a few inches from the mat - only to have it smashed back by a lightning fast Creed boot.] Like the man says: It's not personal. It's just business. [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Of course, the Psycho has never been one to back down from a challenger, whether it's from Casey James or Creed: [SCENE: The inside of a moving subway car. The camera moves down towards the end of the car where a solitary dark figure sits. Its a man in a long black trench coat and a black head. He raises his head...it is the Subway Psycho] SP: Anyone, anytime, anywhere. That is the motto of Creed... my opponent this Saturday. Creed, you have been very impressive so far, and you've been able to back up your boastings. Just remember that your catch phrase also applies to you. Anyone, anytime, anywhere can be beat and this time it's you, Saturday, in the center of the ring. After its all over don't be ashamed, anyone can have a bad night... not everyone can be the best. That honor is reserved for me. I'll prove it to you and I'll prove it to Casey James at Ring Wars and the rest of the world once again. [The Subway Psycho stands and goes over to the doors. He forces them open and stands in the opening, facing back towards the inside of the still moving car. The air whips his hair to the side and his coat bellows. The noise from the outside is almost deafening.] This is my stop, but make no mistake... there is no stopping me. My goals are set and my strategies are laid as soundly as the track this train rides upon. Until Saturday... [With that the Psycho jumps from the moving train into the dark tunnel. The doors slide shut. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * THE WHITE PHOENIX vs. REQUIEM ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: Pardon the pun, but Shinja Chow has been a man on fire since his return to the IIWF. BL: Sun Tsi has put that burning desire back into the Phoenix. LM: The old master certainly has the Phoenix wrestling well. He hasn't stepped into the ring since February 8, but that was an impressive victory over Deathbringer. BL: Requiem is similar to Deathbringer, so the result will probably be the same. LM: I wouldn't be too sure of that. Requiem appears prepared for this challenge: [SCENE: A bright, wavering white light illuminates the camera. Slowly, the camera pulls back to reveal that it is the flame of a candle. Pulling back further it is shown to be a single white candle, with the name "White Phoenix" engraved upon it. As the camera pulls back yet further, we see Requiem sitting cross-legged before the candle, staring unwaveringly into the flame, almost hypnotized. Suddenly an old gramophone to the side begins to play The Music Of The Unknowingly Damned.] REQ: [voice over] Within my Cathedral are the candles that represent the souls of those I have encountered upon my long and arduous journey. The candles of those who have heard the warning within my music burn brightly to this day. Others lie blackened and extinguished, representing the souls of those I could not save. This candle in particular intrigues me, for it represents the soul of Shinja Chow, known by all as The White Phoenix. See how brightly it shines? That is the fire within the soul of Shinja Chow, and it burns as radiantly as any spirit might. And yet, despite the brightness and purity of the flame, I fear for Shinja Chow. He is a man who once stared fully into the face of the light, an honorable man, and yet since his return from China with his old master, Shinja has changed. I fear that his master is somehow corrupting Shinja, that perhaps the master of Shinja Chow has, in fact, turned his back upon the light. Can it be that Sun Tsi seeks to transform the radiant white flames of the White Phoenix into the dull ebon hellfire of pure darkness? Has he, perhaps, already succeeded? On Saturday I shall find out. Shinja, when we meet shall I encounter the radiant white fire of the honorable White Phoenix of old, or will I encounter the ebon flame of Sun Tsi's White Phoenix? Let us hope the former, for I would not wish to stare into your eyes and see only Darkness. The Darkness of The Soul I, perforce, cannot abide, and should I see it within your eyes, I shall be forced to do my utmost to destroy you. Shinja Chow, we shall meet Saturday night. Let the Fates decide then.... [The old gramophone suddenly scratches, and the Music Of The Unknowingly Damned stops. Requiem looks pained for a brief moment, but then reaches behind himself for the night black guitar. As he plays, the Music Of The Unknowingly Damned once more echoes through the Cathedral Of Souls. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH MARTY WARNETT vs. THE SANDMAN ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: I hear from good sources that Marty Warnett is getting tired of these constant battles between him, Steve Kowalski, and the Sandman. BL: Maybe Walnut is tired of wearing that IIWF Intercontinental belt, too. I'm sure the Sandman wouldn't mind taking it away from him tomorrow night. LM: Marty seems rather sure that such an act won't occur: [SCENE: Marty Warnett standing in a hotel corridor. He's dressed in collar, suit and tie, and clutches a bouquet of flowers.] MW: Well, well, well, guys. Me thinketh I have a few comments on the top of my head, so, what the heck, let's get 'em over with! [Marty grabs a handful of sand from a fire bucket.] Sandman. Mr. Sleepy-head. [adopts a mocking tone] "Dark Knights, Dark Knights, wherefore art thou?" To think the darkness of your soul has engulfed you. Remember this, dude, you want to be bleak, I want to party. Who's more fun to be around? This Saturday, I give you something, a gift. A title shot. Now, Sandy-babes, you ain't in the top ten, you ain't a high ranked contender. But, you are a serious pain in the butt. You will be the sparring partner to get me back on track, to get me back in synch for the bout versus Byron. Heck, Sandy babes, I've been winning bouts without even using either the Hangover or the End. Who needs finishing moves, huh? [Marty slowly lets the grains of sand trickle out.] For you, my friend, the sands of time are running... low. [Marty chuckles] And yet now, I seem to have a comedian around. A Mr. Petrow. Well, Joey, I beat your tag partner from pillar to post. Do you want the Triple M to hold this title or the U.S. tag belts? Ha, maybe you're even trying to get yourself a title shot. Tell you what, you guys win the tag belts, and Team Sychosys can face me and the Gecko, Team Neurosis. Now if you'll excuse me, I have business to take care of. [Marty turns and walks down the corridor. He stops, knocking at a door. The microphone softly picks up the word, "milady?" Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: It would appear that the Lady DeWinter has finally found a suitable young man. BL: Those two deserve each other. They could have his-and-her full-length mirrors so they won't have to fight over just one. What a couple of... LM: [quickly interrupting] The Sandman is not being sidetracked by social engagements. He's ready for this title match: [SCENE: Sandman is working out in the Iron Den. He finishes a bench press rep and is still wearing the bloody mask from Saturday.] SM: Huff... Warnett, time is running short. This Saturday, you and I go head to head for the Intercontinental Title. Something I prize very dearly. I know you saw the match with Kowalski and I know you know the intensity I will bring to the ring. [cut to highlights of the Kowalski-Sandman match as the Sandman continues to speak] That was just a regular match... this Saturday it's for the IC title. Be damn sure that I'll be gunning for you a hundred times more intensely. [Cut back to the Sandman] I have never been so devoted to a cause in my entire career. This Saturday I'm going to show the world why the "real" Sandman should and will be the Intercontinental CHAMPION! [The Sandman goes back to another rep but then pauses] Oh yeah, don't worry about Byron, 'cause I'll be making that title defense! [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * HIGHWAYMAN vs. CHESHIRE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: This should be an interesting matchup because Cheshire has something that belongs to a friend of the Highwayman. BL: I'll bet it ain't a Porsche. LM: Correct. I'm talking about the eagle Chiquoit, which Cheshire stole from Nightwing last weekend. Highwayman and Nightwing have apparently developed something of a friendship -- as much as a dead man and an Indian can. BL: That's _Native American_. LM: Oops, sorry. Cheshire doesn't appear to be ready to give up the bird without a fight, though: [SCENE: Cheshire and Doctor Hinterhalt are sitting at a long dining-table in a large chamber. The doctor seems to feel slightly misplaced, as he constantly glances at his pocket-watch. A chef enters from the left and serves them a piquant looking large bird.] DH: Oh, turkey. That is my favourite dish. C: Hehehe, it's not quite a turkey, Doc. Danke, Roland. Das waere dann alles. CHEF: Sehr wohl. [he bows and leaves] [Cheshire takes a large knife and begins to carve the poultry.] DH: [irritated by the way the maniac dismembers the bird] I would appreciate if we would return to the gym. A full stomach would influence your performance in an unpleasing way. C: Hey, calm down, Doc, you got to try this. I bet you'll like it better than turkey, Hehe. DH: You mean... this is... C: Chiquoit? Oooh, no. I'm a wrestler, Doc, not a monster. Chiquoit is next door together with my parrot, probably teaching him some dirty bird jokes or something. Hehe.[he throws some flesh onto Hinterhalt's plate and some onto his own and starts eating.] But let me use this opportunity to make some [munch] comments about my opponent this coming Saturday. You know, Doc, [munch] I just don't get the point of some people who think they are [munch, gulp] _uuunndeaaad_. Whoohoohooo. I mean, there are a lot of strange gimmicks here in the IIWF and elsewhere, but most people use gimmicks which are in a way... related to their own personalities. Chickenwing [munch] is an American Indian, so that's his image. I'm a former circus-clown so my gimmick is clown- like. Hehe. Or look at Randy Acorn; he hasn't even to _play_ the [BLEEP]hole. But... [burb], sorry. But pretending to be the reincarnate of some pirate who died some 300 years ago? Sorry, [munch] but that's beyond me. I wonder what's next? Elvis returning from his grave? The Gork from Ork? Or Billy-Bob the talking Carrot? Ha! Hey, Autobahnmann, [munch, munch] if you really think you're a zombie I can recommend two ways to you: A [munch, gulp]: you go and see a psychologist, tell him about your problems, and hope he can help you get rid of your neurosis, or [munch] B, the way which I prefer, hehe: Let ME help you, and I guarantee a fast and certain cure. Hmmm, that was delicious. I think we shall keep Roland. DH: I am afraid this would exceed our budget. C: Oh. You mean I shouldn't have bought the sports car? DH: What sports car?! [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * MAD DOG WATKINS vs. DIRT DOG UNIQUE ALLAH ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: This should be a battle of two cagey ring veterans, but don't expect a technical match. BL: Unless Dirt Dog technically barfs in the middle of the ring. What a drunken slob. It's easy to see why that Shakeemah doesn't want anything to do with him. LM: Please, that's a source of great pain for Allah. BL: Pass him a paper bag and watch him forget her. LM: Mad Dog Watkins clearly cannot forget one Creed, however. Those two are headed for a "Falls Count Anywhere" match at Ring Wars III -- a meeting that clearly is on the Mad Dog's mind: [SCENE: Outside the IIWF Arena near dusk. The camera pans the area until it finds the outline of the figure of Mad Dog Watkins when he steps from the shadows. Watkins is dressed in blue jeans, his famous black leather jacket, and a black stocking cap which is pulled down near his eyes. He smiles, stares into the camera, then begins to speak in his low, gravely voice.] MDW: Creed... I can feel it coming on, pup. I see where you claim you're gonna put this old horse out to pasture? You'd better grow a little. At Ring Wars III, you won't have any need to run that new found mouth of yours, 'cuz you're gonna have my size 14 stuck half way down your throat. One... Two... Three... Get used to hearing it. It's in your future. [Fade out as Watkins smiles, then walks away from the camera and into the shadows. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * RONNIE PARIS vs. MYSTERY OPPONENT ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: When Spur defeated Ronnie Paris two weeks ago, he earned the right to pick the next opponent for Paris. How do you prepare for a match like this? BL: The same way Widdle Wonnie prepares for all his matches -- falling down and letting himself be pinned. Hehe. LM: That's not funny, and neither is the lunatic Spur, who is holding his cards close to the table until tomorrow night: [Spur sits in a darkened room, a single bulb hanging over a table scattered with 8x10 photos of the IIWF wrestlers. He sorts through them.] SP: Who to face you Ronnie Paris? Maybe you should "Steele" yourself for your opponent. He just might "Bring" your death. Maybe he'll cause you "Damage". Maybe the man will be a "Mad Dog", or someone against your "Creed". Maybe an "Outlaw" is who I need, or a "Butcher"? Then again, this isn't a "Spur" of the moment decision. I've picked a "Bad Boy" whose "Heart" is "Black" and will "Strike" quickly. Perhaps you need another "Soundbite"? This is too easy. [He goes back to shuffling through the photos until the camera fades.] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * DAN KAUFFMAN vs. SERGE ANNIS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: What a main event matchup we have coming your way tomorrow night. BL: I've been waiting for this matchup since Serge Annis came to the IIWF, because he knows how to beat Dan Kauffman. LM: He certainly has history on his side. They've met once before, with Annis defeating Kauffman in a controversial match in a tournament called the World Cup of E-Wrestling. Kauffman will certainly be out for revenge. BL: And Annis will be out to retire Kauffman three weeks early. I don't think Serge will be content to simply beat Danny boy in this match. He'll want to maul him so badly that he won't be in any condition to wrestle at Ring Wars III. LM: That may be Annis' plan, but Kauffman is ready to literally fight fire with fire: [SCENE: The empty IIWF Coliseum. The lights are dimmed, and the entrance, without its barricades up, sticks out. Dan Kauffman slowly walks down the aisle.] DK: Some people say that the best way to change a situation is to walk away for a while and lets things sort themselves out. And so I have done. Without telling anyone, I went away. For 12 days. Where I went, why I went, and how I went where I went have no importance. I decided after my small congratulations to the Psycho on the 17th, that I would be best served to go away for a time and decide on a few matters. And decide on matters I did. I currently compete for respect, there is no doubt about that fact. But respect does not come in three straight losses, no matter the sportsmanship or competitiveness. Respect comes from victories and success. That is a lesson I had to learn. So after the blows dealt by James, Shakespeare and the Psycho, I walked away. And I've decided that, from now on, if I have to pull some strings to get some success, that's exactly what I'm going to do. The line must be drawn in the sand. I am NOT going out a losing whiner... that's not who I am, and that's not what I have ever condoned. For the next three weeks, I'm doing things the way I see they should be done. Let's start with Serge Annis. We don't like each other. I'm NOT going to lose to this man. Let me repeat that statement: I am NOT going to LOSE to SERGE ANNIS! Now Serge, I've lost to you once before.. or did I? Well, that's not of concern. The fact is that I gave myself a new life, and now I'm going to do EXACTLY what everyone else in this fed seems to want to do... play by all means. Serge, if I have to break out a chair and waffle you... if I have to use a nightstick and beat your brains out... if I have to cross the line to earn the respect I want, then THAT'S WHAT I'M GOING TO DO! The line has been drawn, Serge. I will do onto you as all others seem to want to do to me. And that is how it will be from now on! You see folks, I have my fans. And my fans know that I do not act to betray them. My fans will stick with me through it all. It is not the fans I worry about anymore, it is me. Chris Quigley, come on down to ringside on Saturday, as I know you want to do. I have a message for you that I'm sure you'll want to hear. In fact, I have a couple of surprises for Saturday. Serge, prepare well. For if you don't, you may find out that the world is a much crueler place than you ever envisioned it. Dan Kauffman is back... and he's not taking no [BLEEP] anymore. [Kauffman walks back from whence he came, through the entrance and out of the camera view. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ************************************************************************** --------------------------- IIWF TRASH TALK ---------------------------- ************************************************************************** LM: When Marty Warnett and the Sandman lock up tomorrow night, I find it hard to believe that Steve "The Fury" Kowalski will not be somewhere in the building. BL: Kowalski would rather burn in hell than see the Sandman wear the Intercontinental belt. Of course, he's gonna burn in hell anyway, so why not earn it? [SCENE: It's closing time at the Amber Bug. Yes, there is a closing time there. The bums have all been thrown out and the filth is being pushed away with a broom. Vern the bartender is cleaning the last of the glasses, watching Steve "The Fury" Kowalski polish off another shot.] VN: What are you still doing here, Fury? I thought you'd be wrecking some guy's neck at the IIWF arena. Did they run out of people for you? SK: Nah, they're just givin' me the run around. Ya'see, they give me a rematch for the IC belt, then they take the match an' give it to the guy I whipped. I mean, jeez, I SKULLPUMPED that punk thru a chair and _he_ gets the shot!?! VN: The guys upstairs are probably tired of seeing you wrestle Warnett. It seems like every time I turn on the tube, you're locked up with Warnett. Besides they got to cover their ass too. They can't give you all the title shots. SK: And why's that? [getting up from his chair] Ya don't think I deserve'em? I've busted open every jerk to come my way. I _am_ the heat machine of the IIWF! VN: [nervously] Calm down, Fury. I just meant that... uh... variety is the spice of life. They just want to try something new, y'know. Hell, your "retirement tour" started off with a bang, who's next? SK: [Shooting another shot] American Patriot! He's not American made. [BLEEP], he don't even ride a hog. Probably rides a rice-burner. An' they say I ain't got morals. Maybe you're right, Vern. I gotta focus on my tour, then I'll get my shot. [downs the last shot] The tour must go on! Gotta work down the list. Next on the hit parade is Patriot and what a hit it's gonna be! VN: When am I gonna see you next, since you ain't gonna be at the Saturday show? SK: Oh, I'll be there. I wouldn't miss it for the world, buddy. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Uh-oh, I smell trouble brewing in that one. BL: Nah, it's probably the Subway Psycho you smell. Hanging around those subway tunnels gives you a fragrance all your own. LM: Don't tell that to Deathbringer: [SCENE: An abandoned subway tunnel. Deathbringer is leaning against one of the walls, holding a torch in his right hand. It seems to be the only source of light] DB: Welcome back, mortals. No, I have not left the mortuary once and for all, as you might suspect. And no, I have not come down here to hunt for the Subway Psycho or any other of those sewer rats. I have just come down here to reflect about the recent events and about the outcome of my last matches. [Deathbringer makes a few steps towards the camera. The torch casts sinister-looking shadows on the walls while he walks.] First there is the match against Serge Annis. The White Phoenix comes down and I get disqualified. Now that was not my fault... and Serge Annis certainly was no one whom I should have been afraid of. [Deathbringer laughs in his diabolical way for a few seconds] Then I get a match against the Phoenix. Serge Annis comes down, I lose my concentration and get pinned. Now that _was_ my fault. And if I were able to do so, right now I would certainly hate myself. [Deathbringer lowers his head for a moment, then looks up again] Then I fight Chris Quigley. The referee decides that the time limit is reached and the match ends... a draw. Possibly the worst decision a referee can make. And that is clearly the IIWF president's fault. To add even more fuel to the fire, Quigley starts telling everyone how he humbled me. Wake up, Quigley, you did not humble me, but I showed the world how useless your Quickstriker is. But that is of no importance right now. [Deathbringer moves his head towards the torch he is holding in his right hand and looks right into the flames] The fire of this torch is like the life and the energy of the IIWF. It loves to burn... it loves to spread... it loves to exist... it represents the capabilities of all those mortal IIWF competitors. Look how beautiful these flames are. [Deathbringer looks back into the camera. As he speaks, his voice is barely heard as a whisper, but still you can feel the evil that emerges from the words.] Listen closely, IIWF. I am not here to remain as nice as I was last year. And I am not here to remain as silent as I have been during the last few weeks. The Reaper has returned and no one... _NO ONE_ ...will be able to block his way to the throne. Yes, you heard right... The Reaper once again reaches for the crown. And this time, nothing will hold me back. Not a Chris Quigley, not a Serge Annis, not a White Phoenix ... _NO ONE_ ! My darkness will once again engulf the IIWF, and this time... it will prevail forever. [With these words Deathbringer extinguishes the torch with his left hand. In the same moment a bell tolls. The scene is now completely dark as Deathbringer continues to speak.] IIWF... the sin war has begun. Mortals, prepare to meet your maker. [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Whew. The former champion seems to have a definitive plan and I have a feeling that it involves a body count. BL: [mockingly] You mean there's a _reason_ they call him Deathbringer? LM: Yes, and I think we may have a new name for Brody Thunder -- member of the Syndicate. Tim Dross announced earlier this week that Thunder only had a business relationship with Brian Lau's group, but our Steve Summer learned yesterday that Thunder may have more than a passing interest in the Syndicate: [SCENE: Steve Summer stands in front of the large doors to the Dojo.] SS: Hi, folks, this is Steve Summer coming to you from the headquarters of none other than the Syndicate. Say what you will about these guys, but they really do seem to have a stranglehold on the IIWF, specifically the title situation. I must say I'm a little excited. Well, here we go. [Steve turns to knock on the door, which is suddenly thrown open. A rather large arm comes shooting out and grabs Summer by the lapels. Summer looks in horror at the figure who is attached to the other end of the arm, which is that of none other than IIWF World Champ, Casey James.] CJ: It's about time, you little worm. Get in here. [Summer is pulled inside, and the cameraman follows. In the foyer stands Brian Lau.] BL: Okay, come on, let's get this underway. I don't want to have to spend any more time than I have to with you, rookie. The suits in the head office say that I have to give the broadcast "talent" a chance to earn their money, and it seems like they've sent me the wrong Steve. SS: Umm, well, I... BL: Shut up, stand there, and hold the microphone to us. We talk, you listen. Got it? SS: I... CJ: Shut up! [Steve stands there with a worried look on his face and just holds the microphone out.] BL: Okay, well, as you can see, the Disciples and Mr. McQueen are not here. They had some things to take care of, and I've found that it helps me sleep at night to not know exactly what it is that they do when they go off like this. I would like to say, however, that we are all very happy with their performance last Saturday which brought back the IIWF tag titles to the Syndicate. All the belts have their places within these walls, and I think we sent that message loud and clear. Now, onto the event that everyone is talking about, Ring Wars III. Casey? CJ: Ring Wars III. The night where we get to travel to that dump, Toronto, and I get to pound on a homeless guy for the better part of an hour. Psycho, I've heard you want to face me in the ring before then in an interview. Well, I'd be glad to oblige. It'll give me the chance to tell you a little more about that little tart you hang around with. Believe me when I say I "know" her. I think I proved that point when I showed you the souvenir I kept from our little fling. Psycho, there's nothing that you have that I can't take. You're just a lucky man because there's nothing of yours I want anymore. You had the title, and that is now mine. You had Sasha, and I took what I wanted from her. All you've got left is your pride and your career, and pretty soon, those will be gone too. At Ring Wars III, I'm going to beat you like a rented mule, and the whole world will know that you're nowhere near my level of expertise. You can call me stupid all you want, but who is it that coerced Dan Kauffman into the ring for a title shot? Hmm? Who is it that has the critics talking? Hmmm? who is it that joined up with the premier organization the wrestling world has to offer today? The IIWF is the Syndicate's playground, Psycho, and at Ring Wars III, you're going to be the toy that I get to pound into the dirt. BL: Well said. As if the slaughter of the Player's Club wasn't proof enough of our power. Speaking of which, There's someone else here that I believe would like some time to speak his mind. [Brian motions off camera, and in walks Brody Thunder. Casey and Brody engage in a staredown almost immediately. Casey cracks a smile, and both men chuckle and pat each other on the shoulders.] BT: Looks like it's ol' home week 'round here. Y'see, when I came inta this league, I was spendin' a lotta time with the Syndicate... mostly takin' lumps an' gettin' stitches. Ain't much changed 'cept now I don't hafta worry 'bout my back bein' jumped when I'm handin' out some pain an' agony,that's all. CJ: You want to talk "extreme," folks? This guy here was extreme before it was cool. Of course, back then, it was called being tough. Thunder is one of the most dangerous individuals in the IIWF today, and I know that first hand. Yeah, we had our differences, but all through history you'll find that the greatest alliances came out of hostile dispositions. We're not all that different. The thing is, we're both professionals, and that doesn't just mean we get payed for doing what we do. It means that we go out and do our job to the best of our abilities, no matter what. Sure, we had problems, but those are behind us. With Brody Thunder running with us, there's nothing we can't do. Any man who J.W. Hardin backs up has my support BT: An' if the Outlaw taught me anythin' else besides the Cattle Buster... it was makin' smart investments.I said it before an' I'll say it again ...I'm in this business fer two reasons an' two reasons only... money an' titles. Plain an' simple. BL: And money and titles is just what the Syndicate offers. Look at our history. Look at the title shots our members have had. We don't hold our talent back, no matter what that ungrateful insect, Tiger Claw says. Now, Mr. Summer, this interview is over. Get out of my house. [Summer seems to snap out of a trance, and sees the faces of the three angry men in front of him. He quickly turns to leave. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Brody Thunder in the Syndicate. Who would have thought! BL: I knew all about. J.W. told me the other night. LM: And you didn't...? BL: You didn't _ask_! LM: Well one wrestler who is _asking_ for something is the American Patriot, who wants a match with Otto Verhoeven. BL: So the Patriot is _asking_ for a butt-kicking? LM: Sigh. Just watch: [The American Patriot stands in the IIWF interview area.] AP: Well, not the match that I was looking for, but at least I'm going to be wrestling at Ring Wars III. I just hope that my partners in the tag match will have their minds on winning the match and not on getting on each other's backs. Guys, we need to set up a game plan for our impending match. Please get together with me so that we may do this. Otto Verhoeven, I'm still looking for you to step into the ring with me. You can't be much of a man if you don't like America. Step into the ring with me, and I'll make you respect the USA! [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Obviously, it isn't hard to get Verhoeven's attention, as a very busy Steve Summer found out when he visited Verhoeven yesterday afternoon: [SCENE: IIWF intern Steve Summer stands in front of the German embassy in New York, gesticulating wildly at the guard who just stares past him. Summer turns to the camera with a frustrated look on his face.] SS: Well, it seems that Verhoeven has given orders not to let media representatives enter the em... [Just then, the entrance of the embassy is opened and out walks Otto Verhoeven in an elegant looking three-piece suit. The guard salutes him and he returns the gesture, then approaches the waiting Summer.] SS: Hello, Mister Verhoeven [Otto raises an eyebrow], good to see you. OV: How did you address me, fool? SS: Why, Mister Verhoeven? Or would you prefer Butcher? German Juggernaut? Teutonic Terror? OV: You are the neuling, the new one, right? [Summer nods enthusiastically, his pride obvious] Then let me tell you one thing, kid, you'll address me as Herr Verhoeven, and nothing else, or you will just have to learn why they call me "the Butcher", in Ordnung? I mean, okay? SS: [turning pale]: A-a-a-alright, Herr Verhoeven. I knew that, Herr Verhoeven. Mister Morton warned me about that and... OV: Could we now proceed with the interview? I have more important things to do than listen to experiences of an intern. SS: Right, right, of course. So [draws a deep breath]... what do you think about Wednesday night? You had an outstanding match with "Superstar" Stud Stetson. OV: What? I have to admit I underestimated Stetson, thought he was just another American bum, too stupid to take care of his own life. But he managed to counter my moves, even block the Slaughterslam, a feat which deserves some acknowledgment. But that inbred referee had to spoil a really good match and turn it into a draw. SS: And you didn't take that decision very well. Why did you assault Stetson with that lead pipe? OV: I said before the match that I am going to decide the Wild Cards match even before Ring Wars III... before the actual PPV, and Herr Stetson was, without a doubt, the greatest menace on the opposing team and, although I did not take him out, I taught him one thing. He may deny it, but you can bet that he learned to fear my determination and my will to tear my opponent apart, by any means necessary. I look forward to clashing with him again, though. SS: Wow, some tough comments directed towards your opponents at the big IIWF PPV extravaga... OV: Silence! [he smirks] At least Dross taught you how to plug the events, eh? But you are right. Those other fools better watch their backs because Wednesday was only the beginning. Patriot, Paris and Acorn may be in danger, or not, but they sure should be careful. In fact, I hope to get a match with the American Punk next week, to show him in a one- on-one confrontation what I mean when I talk of German superiority and the slaughterhouse. SS: I guess that has to be all. I have another appointment in... OV: I don't know if you are brave or just stupid, little man. You actually try to cut me off? [Verhoeven seems to be amused] Nun, let me address one more point, namely my team partner, Luke Steele. He spoke some tough words on Monday, ridiculing me and the other guys. I can assure you, Steele, that I am more than determined to be on the winning side at Ring Wars III, but I want you to realize that you better show some respect to me and Damage and the Hangman, or we will have to do some team attitude adjusting. [he nods to Summer] You can go now, wimp. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Verhoeven may be looking ahead to Ring Wars III, but one of his teammates at that PPV hasn't quite forgiven Verhoeven for swatting him with a steel pipe Wednesday night. BL: Which means it's time for this week's episode of "As Stud Stetson Turns." Hehe. LM: The man is down on his luck right now, but he's eager to turn it around: [SCENE: Several hours after the Wednesday night card in the IIWF locker room. The room is almost empty as most of the wrestlers have gone home or at least to their hotel but in the far corner sits Superstar Stud Stetson. Stetson looks almost exactly like he has the last few weeks with the same dirty, torn clothes and mangy hair. He also has the now familiar leather strap firmly gripped in his hands. His chest is heavily bandaged due to the attack he received on the card. All is silent for a moment until the door slowly creaks open and veteran reporter Tim Dross, in usual IIWF duds, enters the locker room and makes his way over to Stetson.] TD: Tonight, you proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that you deserve to be in the IIWF. SS: [calm and quiet voice] Thanks for the compliment but there is no point pissing my pants with excitement over a match I didn't even win. Didn't lose either but more importantly I ain't the winner. TD: Well, there was no winner but what is on my mind is the attack you received after the contest where you were introduced to a lead pipe. SS: [chuckles] Sounds like something I woulda done a month ago. Then again I probably would have used my old Corvette. Otto, belive me or not but that attack in many ways makes me a very happy camper. Why, you ask? I'll tell 'ya [grins, then goes back to a serious expression]. Because I saw that as a desperation tactic. I saw it coming from a a very frustrated man. That match I took it to you like never before. You were hoping to walk over the down on his luck "superstar" but instead you were given one hell of a scrap. In the end, you walked away knowing that Stetson is a man who will earn that living of yours. I am the kind of man that you would be lucky if you had all body parts still intact after the match. Verhoeven admit it or not I received your respect tonight. Unlike my past, I was truly focused tonight hoping to achieve my long term goal. To get back on top as a respected competitor and have Lace at my side. No matter what you said or what you did I was not knocked off my game plan. Remember I have nothing to lose, and when that happens you fight like no man has fought before. [rubs his taped chest] And this only woke me up. This is just another reminder to make sure I stay focused. That I aim for the top. [points to his chest] This has given me back some of my much needed intensity. I may not be seeking to be a bad ass anymore or trying to make the fans jeer, but as you are going to find out I can be just as violent, vicious and dangerous as ever. Your little act just reminded not to get soft. It helped me realize that a ferocious Stetson is a tough to beat Stetson. You have kindled a flame you won't be able to extinguish. Verhoeven, you have just started the war and I intend to finish it. You have so much that I desire but I plan on taking it all away from you. I may be more focused. More committed. But I am still one hell of an ass whupper. TD: So have you forgotten totally about Shakespeare? SS: [looks down at the strap] NO, not by a long shot. Billy, your date with Stetson is booked in the near future but I don't want anything else on your mind but me. So I will patiently wait until your little scuffle with Thunder and the rest is over with. I'm prepared to wipe you out and I want you to have the same mentality so until you are ready for a battle for survival I will just wait here. Otto should be enough to appease my appetite for respect right now. TD: Now, Stetson this has been bothering me for a while. What is with wearing the same clothes each week and why do you carry around this strap. SS: In due time, Dross, in due time. The significance of these things aren't important right now. Yes, they have meaning to me but I don't feel I have to reveal them to you. Many things have been going through my mind lately and I feel it is better that I only tell you what I feel is relevant. My thinking has lead me to many conclusions. One is how these stars in the IIWF have conducted themselves. For many months I acted much like a fool. And recently I have condemned myself for it but the one thing that I feel I did right was I was fearless. And I was fighter to the end. Most of all I played the mind game. The mind game is almost as important as the wrestling itself. And it is something you will see me start up again but I have something else right now to state. It is how most of these stars in the IIWF are my sparkle then steak. They go on and on about how they control our destiny or how they don't need anyone or how they are the ultimate physical specimen or how they come from outerspace but most of them just aren't what they are hyped up to be. So I am going to say it right here and right now and that is if you big boys think you are so hot then come on down and give ol' Stetson a try. [mock voice] I'm down on my luck. I'm not what I used to be. Perfect time to take advantage of me. [smile comes over his face] Or so we will see. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Another IIWF wrestler who is down on his luck right now is Mr. Damage, who was assessed a record fine after his little stunt in the boxing match against Luke Steele last weekend. I caught up with Mr. Damage last night here in Portland: [SCENE: Mr. Damage leaving a restaurant. Larry Morton and camera crew sneak up behind him to get an interview, Mr. Damage turns around and grabs Morton by the scruff of the neck. MD: What the hell do you want...? oh, it's only you Morton. LM: I'm sorry to startle you, Mr. Damage. I was wondering if we could have a few words. MD: I'll give you a few words: [BLEEP] off! LM: Don't be like that, I just want to get your side of the events of last week. MD: All right, but I can only answer a few as I have just had dinner with my lawyer and he said I can't say too much. LM: I understand. Just what are your feelings on the record fine you received last weekend after the boxing match with Luke Steele? MD: Basically I'm upset about the whole thing. I am not in a position to say much but I don't believe that I should be scapegoated for every other wrestler's actions in this stinkin' promotion. I'm being made an example of and I don't like it one bit. One thing I haven't been told yet is where the money from my fine goes. My guess is it goes straight to President Dan's pocket. I cannot comment anymore. LM: Are you still wrestling in the IIWF? MD: Yes I am still on active duty in the IIWF. I did not get a suspension which is what everyone else gets. Besides I still gotta kick Luke Steele's arse. And speaking of that idiot, Real Deal, I don't take kindly to getting a phone call from your mother saying that she doesn't want me to hurt you anymore. If you are going to hide behind your mother's skirt, I'm going to hurt you twice as much. Next time she sees you, she'll be picking a suit out for your corpse LM: Can you afford the fine that is rumored to be six digits? MD: I can't comment on the amount, but yes I can afford it, it just means Mrs. Damage can't have the seal fur coat for a couple of more weeks. LM: Can you beat Luke Steele in the Ring? MD: I've proved it already once, quite convincingly, wrestling, I put him down fairly quickly boxing and will continue to do so. LM: Speaking of the boxing match, did you know there was chloroform on the Boxing Glove? MD: To this day I deny all knowledge of the chloroform, It was all David Fenech, who incidentally, was arrested this week for causing a disturbance and extorting money from Green Grocers. I have since cut all ties with Fenech, whom I used to share an agent with. We shall not work together again ever. I would like to get him in the ring and pound the remaining few brain cells he might have left. LM: What are you going to do at Ring Wars III when Luke Steele is on your tag team in the Eight Man Tag Match ? MD: I do not know what drug the booking committee was on when they booked this match. I think it brings a big disadvantage to our side. You see you have three of the best wrestlers in the world on one side and then we have Luke Steele. So I hope to god that this is "Survivor" type of tag match because all our opponents would have to do to win is pin Luke Steele in a normal type tag match, which from experience is no trouble at all. I am refusing to tag him. I am telling you that now. Now look Morton I gotta go. LM: Okay, Mr. Damage, thanks for your time. [Mr. Damage gets in his car and drives off. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: It's been quite a month for the Zodiac Connection. Two weeks ago, they won the IIWF World Tag Team belts from the Dark Disciples, only to lose the belts back to the Disciples last weekend. However, Taurus and Scorpio did advance in the U.S. Tag Team Tournament Wednesday night. BL: Very indecisive. It must be those blondes they're hanging out with. Hehe. LM: The Zodiacs _have_ decided that they want revenge: [The Zodiac Connection -- Taurus and Scorpio -- stand in the IIWF interview area.] TA: Dark Disciples, you have delivered a wake-up call to the Zodiac Connection when you walked in and stole the IIWF World Tag Titles from us. Be men gentlemen, wrestle us alone, don't settle for a victory when you have a 6-on-2 advantage! SC: The bottom line is, The Zodiac Connection deserves being the IIWF World Tag Team champs and the fans know it! Dark Disciples, we will not rest until we have brought home the IIWF World Tag Team Championship belts. TA: And now, our attention turns to Team Brutality! Night Patrol and Pain, Inc. have the opportunity to face off against each other as part of the United States Tag Team Championship tournament! Now, you are both probably developing a plan in which you lovely people can go off into the sunset knowing that two of you pathetic morons would be able to go off and continue your quest for the U.S. Tag Belts. If I were you gentlemen, I would make sure that I had all bases covered before the start of the match. After all, what would happen if there was a double disqualification? SC: We have said all that we need to say but Gemini has something to say! GE: Shakespeare, if you were as smart as your namesake you would know better than to toy with the fates. You would know that the consequences of your actions would come to haunt you one thousand fold. Dark Disciples, you of course realize that Taurus and Scorpio can defeat you, and as soon as the IIWF office is cleansed of its sins, we know that another match will take place! We call on the IIWF President to make things right and sign the Zodiac Connection versus the Dark Disciples one more time! Do not make Gemini angry, for it is Gemini that controls DESTINY ITSELF! The IIWF fans seek justice, and the Zodiac Connection are going to go out and give the people exactly what they wish... only we will not guarantee that they will decide to follow the path of the truly righteous as they take care of business. Furthermore, soon... very soon... Aries shall make his presence felt in the IIWF!! And the one who shall accompany him to the ring... Cancer, the one member of the Zodiac force who seeks true justice! Gemini has spoken! [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Of course, the Zodiacs have found allies in NavCom and DefCon of the Armed Forces, who have gone through a cold spell of their own. BL: Actually, Cold Spell have been winning their matches. LM: I mean a bad period. BL: Ooh, I hate those. The cramps and everything. LM: Just go to the tape: [SCENE: A dark lobby area. NavCom of the Armed Forces stands in a hallway, his eyes focused on the camera. He is wearing his blue trunks and a Navy hat. Above the hall hangs a large sign which reads, "Omaha Northwest Track & Field Record Holders." The camera focuses in on NavCom.] NC: Here it all began. Northwest High. This is where DefCon and I met, this is where DefCon and I became friends, and this is where DefCon and I became athletes. If there is one place to which all actions in life can be traced, this is it. Every success. Every failure. Failure's been far too large a part of our lives as of late. Failure to win matches. Failure to deliver on promises. Failure to retain titles. It's been a never ending story in the past two months, a string of failures, one after another. People say that soon, we ourselves will become failures. I don't think so. Baby, until you run us out of the IIWF, we'll always be around. We're still here. Don't forget it. When we came on the scene here in the IIWF, we took off like shooting stars -- straight to the top of the ranks. We became instant sensations and won the IIWF Tag Team Championships, but a short while after becoming shooting stars, we blew up, and became super novas. Ever since we lost the titles, we've not been the same. We know that. Pain, Inc. gave us the shaft for quite some time, but we've broken that allegiance, and now we're out on our own. No Aaron. No Pain, Inc. No nobody, save a few million fans. And we're still here. Don't forget it. [NavCom stares directly into the camera. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio. Larry is again holding a finger over his ear piece and listening intently.] LM: Let's quickly cut back to Steve Summers. I believe he has some more news on this situation involving the Arabian Knights. [Cut to the steps of a downtown jail. Steve Summer can be seen among a group of reporters. A man approaches and starts to address the crowd ] MAN: I am going to read a brief statement about the events that occurred earlier this afternoon. [The man takes a sheet of paper from his pocket ] Earlier today the police raided the apartments of a suspected militant terrorist group which is believed to be responsible for several bombings in recent weeks. During the aforementioned raid, several of the suspected terrorists and several policemen were injured, though fortunately there were no fatalities. This is all the information we are prepared to give at the moment. [Several reporters try to get some more information but the man just walks back into the building. Steve Summer walks back toward the camera] SS: So it would seem, Larry, that the Arabian Knights were only used as a front for some terrorists activities. It was a very good front as it let them easily move in and out of the country. Who would suspect a couple of wrestlers? I suppose, though, it would explain Mr Kaseem's quick exit from the country. That's all from here for now. Back to you guys in the studio. [Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: I'd just like to say folks, that the IIWF had no idea about the Arabian Knights' activities outside the ring and that they actually came highly recommended to this organization as a tag team. I doubt that we will be using that source again in the future. BL: It certainly explains some things, though. LM: Like what? BL: Like the Arabian Knights bombing in the ring lately. Hehe... snort. ************************************************************************** --------------------- LATEST IIWF SINGLES RANKINGS --------------------- ************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Casey James H 32 21 9 2 69% (WC) WC Marty Warnett F 31 20 11 0 65% (IC) IC "Enigma" Takezo Musashi N 25 19 6 0 76% (CW) CW ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Deathbringer H 28 20 5 3 77% (1) 1 Lord Byron H 18 13 5 0 72% (2) 2 The White Phoenix F 17 12 5 0 71% (3) 3 Steve Kowalski H 14 10 4 0 71% (4) 4 "Sychosys" Joe Petrow N 7 5 2 0 71% (5=) 5= Mad Dog Watkins H 7 5 2 0 71% (5=) 5= Creed N 10 7 3 0 70% (7) 7 Chris Quigley F 21 14 6 1 69% (8) 8 Serge Annis N 8 5 2 1 69% (17) 9 Dan Kauffman H 28 18 8 2 68% (9) 10 Billy Shakespeare F 32 21 10 1 67% (14) 11 Otto Verhoeven H 26 17 8 1 67% (10) 12 Brody Thunder H 15 10 5 0 67% (11) 13 Nightwing F 5 3 2 0 67% (12) 14= "Real Deal" Luke Steele F 5 3 2 0 67% (13) 14= Subway Psycho F 29 18 9 2 66% (15) 16 Dirt Dog Unique Allah N 11 7 4 0 64% (16) 17 Cheshire H 9 5 4 0 56% (18) 18 The Sandman F 27 14 13 0 52% (19) 19 Mr. Damage H 25 13 12 0 52% (20) 20 Venusian Death Cell H 17 8 9 0 47% (21) 21 Stud Stetson H 13 5 6 2 46% (22) 22 Ronnie Paris F 9 4 5 0 44% (25=) 23 The Hangman H 15 5 7 3 43% (23) 24 "Badboy" Randy Acorn H 7 3 4 0 43% (24) 25 American Patriot F 8 3 5 0 38% (25=) 26 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Requiem F 2 2 0 0 100% (27) 27 Highwayman F 4 3 1 0 75% (28) 28 Spur H 4 1 3 0 25% (29) 29 ------------------------------- injured -------------------------------- Tiger Claw H 42 22 18 2 55% (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************** -------------------- LATEST IIWF TAG TEAM RANKINGS --------------------- ************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name of team F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Dark Disciples H 11 7 3 1 68% (WT) WT ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Harlequins N 5 4 1 0 80% (1) 1 Rising Sun Revolution F 16 11 5 0 69% (2) 2 The Armed Forces H 27 17 9 1 67% (3) 3 Domination F 9 5 2 2 67% (4) 4 High Plains Drifters H 28 17 10 1 63% (5) 5 The Hangmen H 17 9 6 2 63% (7) 6 G.W.R. N 12 7 5 0 58% (8) 7 The Zodiac Connection F 18 10 9 0 56% (11) 8 New Arabian Knights H 17 9 8 0 53% (6) 9 Pain Inc. H 16 8 7 1 53% (9) 10 The Alphabet Boys F 16 7 7 2 50% (10) 11 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Prophets of Rage H 4 4 0 0 100% (13) 12 Cold Spell F 3 3 0 0 100% (14=) 13 Night Patrol H 2 2 0 0 100% (14=) 14 W & W Express H 3 1 2 0 33% (16) 15 ------------------------------- on leave ------------------------------- The Players' Club F 14 6 8 0 43% (12) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************** ---------------------- UPCOMING IIWF PROGRAMMING ----------------------- ************************************************************************** LM: Fans, we know you'll be with us tomorrow night for what promises to be a great card. Call the IIWF Hotline on Sunday for the latest news and rumors, and don't forget to tune in Monday for "IIWF Monday Musings." "Inside the IIWF" comes your way every Tuesday, followed by "Wednesday War Room" and then "IIWF Classics" rounds out our programming week. BL: Is it nighty-night time yet? LM: I believe it is. Until next time, this is Larry Morton for Becky LaRue saying... [he glances at Becky] ...nighty-night. [The remote camera zooms back up the aisle. The man wearing the Oregon Chicken Ranch t-shirt opens a sack and begins tossing feathers at the camera. The credits roll past too quickly to read. Fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+