##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== "IIWF MONDAY MUSINGS" March 10, 1997 =============================================== ************************************************************************** -------------------- IIWF SATURDAY NIGHT RESULTS ----------------------- ************************************************************************** MARCH 8, 1997 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LORD BYRON def. NIGHTWING PROPHETS OF RAGE def. ZODIAC CONNECTION COLD SPELL def. THE HANGMEN STEVE KOWALSKI def. BRODY THUNDER MORNINGSTAR & SGT. BLAZER def. THE DARK DISCIPLES BILLY SHAKESPEARE def. MR. ROBINSON MARTY WARNETT def. EL SUPER GECKO LORD BYRON def. MARTY WARNETT TAKEZO MUSASHI def. RONNIE PARIS SUBWAY PSYCHO & CREED def. CASEY JAMES & MAD DOG WATKINS JOE PETROW def. DAN KAUFFMAN ************************************************************************** ----------------- WRESTLERS SPEAK: THE FLASH FORUM --------------------- ************************************************************************** NIGHTWING ~~~~~~~~~ [Nightwing stands in the IIWF interview area, holding a lab coat and a pair of glasses in front of the camera. He has an intense look on his face.] NW: Missing something, Cheshire? I told you that I would fight you the only way you understand. Now, the gloves are off. The war has begun... and in any war there must be casualties. You have attempted to see if Chiquoit can survive in captivity. Perhaps I shall return to the cliffs to see if your Dr. Hinterhalt can fly. ************************************************************************** THE ZODIAC CONNECTION ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ GE: So, the IIWF has levied a $100,000 fine against Scorpio for his attack against Hellraiser on last Wednesday's show? Well, President Spreadbury, or any other suit who is sitting up there handing out fines towards the Zodiac Connection, if that is what you call administration of justice here in the IIWF, then you may just as well keep the fines coming. It's a small price to pay for justice. SC: A $100,000 fine for what I did to Hellraiser? Since the fine was levied, I have already received calls at my home from the many fans of the Zodiac Connection offering to contribute to a fund that would be used to pay off any fines. The IIWF fans seek justice for what has happened. If the suits won't give it to them, they demand that the Zodiac Connection go out and take care of business. This isn't about titles or anything else. Team Brutality, what you have conspired to do has made this matter personal! TA: A lot of the so-called IIWF superstars were dying to know who the Zodiac Connection was before we won the belts. Now, they know exactly who we are and where we come from. Now, we want those IIWF World Tag Titles back. If we have to go through a triangle match to get our shot, then so be it. ************************************************************************** COLD SPELL ~~~~~~~~~~ ICEHAWK: [excitedly] Two down, two to go! And we couldn't have done it without all you great fans. Before we came here, we were wrestling in front of 220 people in YMCAs in the Midwest, and now we are competing in front of the best fans in the world. I hope you all know how much your support means to us, and I hope we can give you another good show against Starsky and Hutch next Saturday. And then we can head back to the Great Lakes to win the titles. Hey, Fitz, I just thought of something silly. A Finn is going to win the U.S. Titles in Canada! Isn't that cool? [Edmund Fitzgerald looks at his partner for a long moment and shakes his head with what just might be a hint of a smile. But it quickly vanishes as he turns back to the camera] FITZ: Night Patrol, were you watching? Have you learned the lesson that no one else can figure out? The Express lost their focus, and lost the match. The Knights were distracted by an outside endeavor, and they too went down to defeat. And then it was the Hangmen. They had such a short span of attention that they couldn't even remember that a wrestling match takes place in the ring. And now it is your turn. So bring Miss Hawkings to ringside, and bring your Team Brutality friends. They will not distract us, they will only serve as proof that you are unable to focus on the task at hand. And that is all we need. Now, if you will excuse us, we have some tapes to watch. [With that, Fitz turns and walks away. The camera catches Icehawk's wince, as he mouths the words "more tapes?"] ************************************************************************** BRODY THUNDER ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Thunder steps slowly into the IIWF interview area holding his head and trying to shake away the cobwebs given to him by Mad Dog Watkins and Steve "The Fury" Kowalski just a short time earlier.] BT: What the hell happened?! Someone wanna tell just what the hell happened out there?! One minute I've got Kowalski countin' the lights an' the next thing I know I'm on the short end o' the paycheck! [Thunder rubs the back of his head and winces.] Then when ya ain't gettin' the job done fer Casey I gotta come down there an' help him out. You were Casey's partner... not mine. I was only there doin' my part... like Lau wanted. Now yer _my_ problem. I guess ya didn't get enough o' me when I handed you yer skull last time. Ya want another crack at disability... not a problem. Ya know the routine. Sign the contract, just like last time. Come down ta the ring, just like last time. [Thunder drapes a towel around his neck as he stares into the camera.] Get beat, _just_like_last_time_. S'yer funeral, Dog. Come an' get it. [Thunder angrily exits the interview area, kicking over a set of chairs in doing so.] ************************************************************************** CREED ~~~~~ [Creed, only minutes removed from his tag team victory over Casey James and Mad Dog Watkins, stands in the IIWF interview area, his red & black "Anyone...Anywhere...Anytime." t-shirt draped over his left shoulder.] CREED: Twelve days. No CEO. No Subway Psycho. No excuses. At Ring Wars III, there gonna be 90,000 people -- but the only one I'm gonna see is you, Old Dog. I been waitin' a long time for this, Watkins. A long time. You bark your bark -- Old Dog -- but this "pup's" gonna shut you down... gonna move you out. Twelve days, Old Dog. Twelve days. ************************************************************************** JOE PETROW ~~~~~~~~~~ [Joe Petrow walks onto the set, apparently fresh from his match with Dan Kauffman, as the lingering remnants of dried blood and sweat stain his face. He puts his hands to his sides and speaks calmly into the camera.] JP: Let me get one thing straight... I am not a Dan Kauffman mark. If we could have done this my way, I would have beat him from pillar to post in all sorts of matches over the next several months. But this was first time, last time, only time. You can't waste an opportunity like that, wondering "what if?" and "if only?" Dan said he was the best; this was the only chance either of us would have to prove it. In any case, maybe it's for the best that this match had no real ending. In fact, I'm going to petition the IIWF Board of Directors to have this verdict changed to a draw, because that's the way it should be. But Kauffman, you may never have my friendship, but from this day on, you will always have my respect. That is something that Chris Quigley will never have, just like a victory at Ring Wars III. Have a good life. [Joe turns away from the camera, and everyone starts to wonder if the interview is over. Suddenly, Petrow whirls around, with a crazed look in his eyes!] JP: I'M BAAAACK!!! [Joe closes in on the camera...then is on top of it! The camera swings wildly, as there appears to be a struggle for it! Petrow can be heard saying, "GET YOUR ASS ON THE STAGE OR I'LL BREAK MORE THAN THIS CAMERA!" Suddenly, a middle-aged man, balding but with a full beard, apparently the former cameraman, appears on the set. The obviously frightened man becomes rigid as Petrow screams "DON'T MOVE!" Not knowing how to work the camera, Sychosys walks up close to get a closeup of the man's face. The image is blurred, but from an artistic standpoint almost enhances the point Sychosys tries to make! Petrow voices over the face of the man.] JP: ALLAH! MEDUSA RAGE SHE-MALE FREAK! LOOK INTO THESE EYES! THIS IS THE LOOK OF THE SEVEN TABLES OF FEAR! THIS IS THE LOOK THAT WILL CROSS YOUR FACES WHEN THE NIGHTMARE BEGINS, THE NIGHTMARE CONTINUES, AND THE NIGHTMARE NEVER ENDS! THE FREAKISH MISERY OF A LIFETIME BEGINS IN TWO WEEKS! KAUFFMAN SAYS I ALWAYS SAY WHAT I MEAN!? WELL ALLAH... RAGE... PREPARE TO GET MUH'FUDUP! [The camera goes wild again, as Sychosys shoves it back at the cameraman.] ************************************************************************** DAN KAUFFMAN ~~~~~~~~~~~~ DK: I may be the most impressed, surprised, numbed-over person in the world. Last night felt good. Last night felt REAL good. Last night felt so good that this retirement idea seemed a little unnecessary. Folks, plain and simple, Joe Petrow and I showed the world what wrestling is all about. I'd been waiting a long time for a match like that. Petrow, stand tall and proud. You, my friend, just proved how great a man you really are. I talk all the time about the difference between a wrestler and an individual person. Joe Petrow is both at different times, but he had the grace to show me his inner side when it mattered most: In the ring. Petrow, you earned my respect last night... It's still a shame there was no conclusive result, but maybe it was meant that way. In any case, you made me want to wrestle again. And for that feeling, I thank you. I must speak to Chris Quigley. On Friday, I said some things I really shouldn't have. I was angry and frustrated for all the losses, the confrontation last weekend, and it boiled over. Quigley, if you can put all the crap we've dealt each other behind you, I'll do likewise. You saw the match Petrow and I had. I ask you do do one better. Give me the match of your life, and I will do likewise. For I now have a reason to wrestle, and it took a Joe Petrow to awaken me to the reason. Chris Quigley, bring it all on at Ring Wars III. ************************************************************************** THE SANDMAN ~~~~~~~~~~~ [SCENE: The Sandman casually strolls into the interview area with a cane, the lights drop and a single spot light illuminates him. A surprisingly clean-masked Sandman speaks in a low quiet voice as he lifts the cane up and looks at it.] SM: So this is what it takes to win the IC title. That's it, that's what it's all about, well that's pretty sad. I've worked too hard and been here too long to watch a title change like that. I guess that's how it is these days. But bank on this, whether it's Byron or Warnett or the devil himself, the title is coming here. [motions around his waist] I'm not a favorite here in the IIWF I know that. Not in the head offices and not with the wrestlers but I'm going to upset them all and win that title one way or another. [he taps the top of the cane with his hand] I'm in a bit of a bind because some say my rankings aren't that hot. Screw the numbers they mean nothing me. If that's how the game is played I'm gonna start my climb back up by pumping Kowalski's skull straight to hell in our Toronto street fight! ************************************************************************** REQUIEM ~~~~~~~ [SCENE: The IIWF interview area. The lights briefly dim as Requiem strides in. Removing his night black guitar from his back he begins to play "The Music Of The Unknowingly Damned", the melody tinged with more than usual menace. After five or six minutes the tune comes to an abrupt end as Requiem lowers his guitar and looks directly into the camera] REQUIEM: Deathbringer, I hear your words and I am not impressed. I never claimed that you were evil, only that your soul is tinged with darkness. We shall see if you are truly evil when you and I stand face to face at Ring Wars. Your violin playing is impressive, your symphony may possess some power, but remember ... nothing on this Earth compares to the power of the Music Of The Unknowingly Damned, for it has the power to reach into a man's soul and bring hope to the damned. And that is the greatest power of all. Speaking of Ring Wars, The Highwayman seems to be a man of honor, I shall look forward to staring into his soul at Ring Wars, for I have no doubt that I shall find that no darkness dwells there. But the last man? Serge Annis, the 'Epitome Of Evil'? Can a man truly be so arrogant as to believe himself the ultimate evil? I have no doubt, Serge Annis, that within your soul lurks the seed of Darkness. I challenge you, Annis: Face me before Ring Wars. Let us explore the darkness within your soul together. Will you meet me, Serge Annis? Will you come to face me, man to man, in the squared circle, and know that there stands before you one who can stare into your soul and drag forth your darkest secrets, your vilest sins? ************************************************************************** AMERICAN PATRIOT ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ AP: Let's get some things straight. There are some rumors going around about me. First: I'm not leaving. Whoever started that rumor needs to have his head examined. Speaking of examined: There's another rumor that I separated my shoulder in my match last Wednesday. Well, I don't trust the doctors of the IIWF one bit. In fact, I'm getting treated like my alma mater gets treated in sports. Yeah, that's right. The University of Nevada, Reno. Or, for others, UNR = University of No Respect. So, I went to my own private doctor back home in San Diego, CA. He told me that my shoulder was BRUISED! Not separated. And, he gave me the okay to continue wrestling. You want to take me out of my match, Mr. President? Go ahead, if that's what you have to do. I'll still make my presence known! ************************************************************************** NIGHT PATROL ~~~~~~~~~~~~ BH: It would have been a perfect night in the ring... if those cult felons didn't break the law. JB: I was more than happy to help out our Team Brutality teammates, and we want another shot. DK: But first, Jack, we need to deal with those Northern Ninnies, Cold Spell! JB: Icehawk, Mr. Sunken Ship... take my advice and don't show up. Those belts are ours, so get ready to find something else to do for Ring Wars III. BH: And to the IIWF powers that be: our friends, Pain Inc., won that match. I demand a return match or legal action will follow. ************************************************************************** W & W EXPRESS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WAYNE: Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. The whole IIWF got a wake-up call on Wednesday. The IIWF tried to pull a fast one on the Express, but it backfired. WATSON: They tried to send the great High Plains Drifters to take us out. We gave them the match of their lives. They had to get themselves disqualified to escape being pinned. WAYNE: We don't care who the IIWF sends at us. Whether it's the Drifters, Dark Disciples, or those losers Cold Spell. WATSON: Cold Spell remind us of the kids that got picked on in school. You know those little, snot-nosed geeks that used get beat up and run home crying to their mommy. WAYNE: They are just a cheap circus act. WATSON: Forget about Cold Smell for awhile. What's up with all these "loop" leagues? WAYNE: I don't know, man. We used to wrestle in some of these "loop" and less recognized leagues. There is some great talent in some of the feds, but mostly they are just a bunch of misfits who couldn't make it into the big time. WATSON: The IIWF better be careful in dealing with these loop wrestlers. Some of these guys are maniacs. I mean they fight in barb wire matches and beat each other over the heads with bats every night. +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+