##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "INSIDE THE IIWF" with Tim Dross March 11, 1997 ----------------------------------------------- [Fade in on veteran IIWF commentator Tim Dross as a gaggle of reporters, interns and miscellaneous IIWF news personnel scurry in the background. Dross is seated in front of a bank of monitors, each displaying a match from IIWF past or present. Dross takes an uncharacterisitic deep breath... and begins.] Hello again, IIWF fans and welcome to Inside the IIWF, your weekly look at all the news, views, reviews and previews, the week that was and the week to come here in the finest wrestling federation in the world today... the mighty IIWF. First up... headlines. ************************************************************************ ----------------------------- HEADLINES ------------------------------ ************************************************************************ [A quick sample of Don Henley's "Dirty Laundry" is heard as Camera #2 focuses in on Tim Dross.] - ALL those professional athletes who retitred undefeated please step forward...the 1972 Miami Dolphins, very nice...Rocky Marciano, congratulations....wait a minute, not so fast Mr. Robinson... Yes indeed, as was expected by many, the IIWF was "invaded" Saturday Night once again by two well-known representatives from the so-called "Loop" Federations, in my opinion more noted for their bluster than excellent ring work. However, their "takeover" of the IIWF was abruptly halted along with that spotless 20-0 record held by Mr. Robinson when our own "Spoltlight" Billy Shakespeare defeated him in a non-scheduled -- and unsanctioned -- encounter. [Shot of Earl Alfonso's hand coming down for a three count as Shakespeare covers Robinson.] Shakespeare, who had just been announced as the IIWF representative for the Inter-Fed Superstar Summit Cup, was then verbally accosted by those increasingly familiar "Loop" denizens Mr. Robinson and "Super" Scott. What wasn't familiar -- or expected -- was the impromptu match between Shakespeare and Robinson... nor its conclusion, in which the DPW's Robinson suffered a vicious gutwrench powerbomb onto a steel chair... by none other than "Super" Scott himself! [Shot of the powerbomb... then of Super Scott ripping away his "Loop" t-shirt] Much speculation abounds as to what the upshot of all of this will be. Up to and including what has to be the real possibility that Scott Hibbs himself might be seeing some ring time here in the IIWF. Further, with the big Ring Wars 3 pay-per-view now less than two weeks away, you have to speculate on what involvement -- if any -- that representatives of the "Loop" feds might have in the already colossal event. We'll keep you posted... - AND NEW... It wasn't so much the result... but the timing that shocked the IIWF world Saturday Night as Lord Byron grabbed his first ever belt here in the IIWF, defeating Marty Warnett to become the NEW IIWF Intercontinental Champion. [Shot of Lady DeWinter hitting Warnett with Byron's walking stick, and Byron's subsequent pinfall.] Many "insiders" had speculated that, indeed the comely Lady DeWinter would abandon her new "beau" Warnett in a most deliterious fashion... but none expected it to come a full two weeks prior to Ring Wars 3. It has been announced that indeed the scheduled Intercontinental Championship match between the two men WILL take place on March 22, with the positions of the two combatants having completely turned around. One has to wonder as to the effect all of this will have on now former champ Warnett, particularly given his somewhat shaky mental state in recent weeks. As for the new champion Byron, you may like him or not, but following his defeating both young Nightwing and Warnett on Saturday Night, you can hardly call him anything other than a worthy champion. ************************************************************************ ---------------------- TIM DROSS BREAKS IT DOWN ---------------------- ************************************************************************ Here is your final look at the results of the big show that was...IIWF Saturday Night: [A highlight package of all eleven Saturday Night matches is shown, over which is played "Twilight Zone" by Golden Earring as the crawl gives the match results.] - Joe Petrow def. Dan Kauffman (DQ) - Subway Psycho/Creed def. Casey James/Mad Dog Watkins - Takezo Musashi def. Ronnie Paris (IIWF Cruiserweight Title) - Lord Byron def. Marty Warnett (IIWF IC Title) - Marty Warnett def. El Super Gecko - Billy Shakespeare def. Mr. Robinson - Pain Inc. def. Dark Disciples (DQ, IIWF Tag Titles) - Steve Kowaslki def. Brody Thunder - Cold Spell def. The Hangmen (IIWF U.S. Tag Title Tournament) - Prophets of Rage def. Zodiac Connection (IIWF U.S. Tag Title Tournament) - Lord Byron def. Nightwing CALL THE MAN ~~~~~~~~~~~~ Two weeks before the last -- and possibly biggest -- match of his career, and I don't think it is undue hyperbole to say... Dan Kauffman is back! Following stirring performances in recent weeks against the likes of Billy Shakespeare, the Subway Psycho and Serge Annis; Dan "Flash" Kauffman may have climbed those finishing steps on his long road back into the hearts of the fans of the IIWF with his dramatic battle against the very game Joe Petrow Saturday Night. Say what you must about the missteps which the former champ has made over the past few months, but in my view the redemption of Dan Kauffman (if indeed, one ever needed to take place) is nearing its completion. It's been a tough journey for the man who many still feel is one of the greatest wrestlers in all the world -- and on March 22, he'll make the final turn and head for home... and waiting for him will be one "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley, who you can bet won't have baked a sweet potato pie to recognize his arrival. AIN'T NO VELVET UNDERGROUND ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The other half of that big double main event at Ring Wars 3 pits, of course, the two longtime rivals, the champ, Casey "Blackheart" James, and the ex-champ, Subway Psycho. This week it was the underground dweller who got the one-up on his Syndicate counterpart; first distracting him with a video wall presentation (of somewhat questionable taste) from everybody's favorite ex-valet Sasha... then dominating the big tag contest Saturday Night as he and the big rookie Creed defeated James and Mad Dog Watkins. Opinion on just who will walk out of Skydome on March 22 as the IIWF Heavyweight Champion is sharply divided... but you cannot ignore that it is the "People's Champion" who may have the all-important momentum as we head toward Toronto. NOTHIN' BUT THE DOG IN HE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Outside of the aforementioned "Loop" developments Saturday Night, the move that took most IIWF-ers by surprise over the weekend was the shocking decision by one Mad Dog Watkins to forge a seemingly warrantless assault on a man who does not take such matters lightly... the "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder. One would think, with the big Falls Count Anwhere match against his young rival Creed a mere matter of days away, that Mad Dog's supper dish would be full... apparently not, as Watkins dogged Brody Thunder all over the ring Saturday Night, allowing a pinfall win for Steve Kowalski. Why? That's the question we are left with today. Here's a thought that the answer may have less to do with Mr. Thunder than with his opponent on Saturday Night. We all know the backstory between Watkins and the legendary father of the young "Fury", one Bruno the Sandman; and certainly Ronnie Paris will remember the role that Steve Kowalski played in his defeat at the hands of the Dog several weeks ago. Simply a payback from Kowalski? Or are these two men, so formidable alone, forging some type of alliance? If so, it could be a force of devastation far beyond what these two men showed the patrons of a certain Portland "night-time establishment" this past Saturday Night. LET'S SEE, THERE'S TRAGEDY.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It has not escaped the notice of many IIWF insiders that there has been something of a coup within the IIWF tag scene. Of the four remaining participants for the inaugural US Tag Title belts -- Night Patrol, Cold Spell, Prophets of Rage and the Harlequins -- only the latter has been with the IIWF long enough to forget Larry Morton's name. Sorry, Larry. There has been some back scenes grumbling by some of the more seasoned IIWF tag teams regarding their seeming relegation to the back benches as the new blood has quickly risen to pre-eminence. However, as many of us know, the tag division in the IIWF has long been considered a relatively weak stepchild to the singles' action. Here's a vote for a further increase in what is rapidly becoming a hotly-contested tag race -- hopefully augmented with a signing of even more promising duos. ALMONDS...CASHEWS...BRAZILS.... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I can't think, off hand, of anyone quite like "Sychosys" Joe Petrow... and for that I believe we all say, "Thank God!" Could any other superstar in the IIWF have done what has he over the last few weeks: carried Majestic Maurice McArthur to Round 2 of the US Tag Title Tournament, then battled Dan Kauffman in a flat out wrestling war this past Saturday Night? Just as one begins to think that the demons within this Petrow have been quelled, as he literally refused even the slightest underhanded tactic, even the most miniscule bit of chippiness to take place in his victory over the former IIWF champ... he returns with a "Monday Musing" which, well, must be seen to be believed. All I can say following the role one Dirt Dog Unique Allah played in the rather unsatisfying conclusion to that great match on Saturday Night... is that I'd sure love to be the table supplier at Skydome come March 22. JUPITER'S ALIGNED WITH MARS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Well, certainly a busy evening for the Zodiac Connection last Saturday Night... bets are these days if there is a tag match of any import in the IIWF, Scorpio and Taurus are involved in one capacity or another. You have to admire their fortitude... but here's a dissenting voice about the upswing in the utilization of women in combative capacity in the IIWF. Now, I certainly don't share my broadcast colleague Steve "Soundbite" Roberts' occasionally expressed opinion that the only place women belong is in the kitchen making the biscuits -- however, I for one don't relish the possibility of a distaff steel pipe shot as the IIWF equivalent of the Equal Rights Amendment. 'Nuff said. ************************************************************************ ----------------- FIRST LOOK: This week in the IIWF ------------------ ************************************************************************ [The shot swings wide, allowing a look again at the video monitors behind as a sample from "New Times" by the Violent Femmes is played.] That, of course, was the week that was... but the beat marches on here in the IIWF... another big slice of action is set to take place this week. Here's your FIRST LOOK the upcoming cards... WEDNESDAY WAR ROOM: - Dirt Dog Unique Allah vs. Randy Acorn - The Cell vs. Mr. Damage - High Plains Drifters vs. W & W Express (Taped Fist Match) - Domination vs. Hangmen - Brody Thunder vs. El Super Gecko - Otto Verhoeven vs. Majestic Maurice McArthur - Sandman vs. Bobby B. Goode - Cheshire vs. "Nifty" Ned Norton - Ronnie Paris vs. Jumpin' Jack - Armed Forces vs. Rotundos The bout that jumps out at me on tomorrow's card is that improbable taped fist match between two tag teams who frankly have been struggling as of late, the former champs, the High Plains Drifters, and the newcomers, W & W Express. I have it on good authority that it was the erstwhile manager of the Drifters, Josey Wales himself, who requested this taped fist encounter... we shall see if the "tale of the tape" has a happy ending for his veteran cowboys. At the top of the card, we have that very intriguing Cruiserweight matchup between one of the past greats here in the IIWF, "Badboy" Randy Acorn, and he'll be looking to recapture some of that lost magic against the appropriately nomenclatured Dirt Dog Unique Allah. I expect not just a tremendous matchup between these two men... but a possible score-settling appearance from a certain "Sychotic". IIWF SATURDAY NIGHT - Subway Psycho vs. The White Phoenix - Chris Quigley vs. Marty Warnett - Dan Kauffman vs. Dirt Dog Unique Allah - Steve Kowalski vs. Creed - Brody Thunder vs. Mad Dog Watkins - Serge Annis vs. Requiem - Sandman vs. Highwayman - Harlequins vs. Prophets of Rage (US Tag Semi-Finals) - Night Patrol vs. Cold Spell (US Tag Semi-Finals) One word for Saturday's card... "Wow!" At least 4-5 matches which would be main eventers anywhere in the world as several of the biggest IIWF superstars will tune up on each other in the final IIWF event prior to the big March 22 pay-per-view. If there was one can't miss match on my docket... it would have to be that tilt between "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley and the now former IC champ Marty Warnett. Each man was defeated last week and each desperately needs to get back some semblance of good form as he goes into RW3. And I have it on good authority that the last thing in the world that the "Party Maniac" wants on his record is a loss this week at the hands of Chris Quigley. Of course, to say that any match is of more importance than the FINAL IIWF Coliseum appearance of the legendary Dan Kauffman would be misguided. Not to mention those inextricable encounters between Steve "The Fury" Kowalski and Creed... and Brody Thunder against Mad Dog Watkins. What a night it will be at the IIWF Coliseum, just ONE WEEK before the biggest pay-per-view of them all, Ring Wars 3! ************************************************************************ ---------- UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL: STEVE "THE FURY" KOWALSKI ---------- ************************************************************************ When the name of Steve "The Fury" Kowalski is mentioned within IIWF circles, a number of thoughts immediately come to mind, most of which are far too graphically violent to be examined at such a tender hour of the evening... but how many of you would think of him in the same breath as Takezo Musashi and Shinja Chow? These revelations and more from the man with whom I sat down just a few short hours ago... [Cut to tape of Tim Dross seated opposite Steve "the Fury" Kowalski in an IIWF studio.] TD: I'd like to thank you for doing this interview, Mr. Kowalski. I'm sure the rest of the IIWF will enjoy your enlightenment. And perhaps we can learn a few things about your past. SK: Yer on the clock, Timmy. Let's get to it. I got places to go, people to kill. TD: Alright then. Your father, Independent Supercards legend Bruno the Sandman, how did he help you with your wrestling career. Not that he was known for technical wrestling, but he must have imparted some knowledge to you for the future. SK: He used to kick my ass a lot, when I was a kid. Y'know, he wasn't a bowl o' peaches. He came back from Nam, a changed man. I guess war is hell, he made it hell fer a lot of other guys. Jus' check out any of the ol' Supercards tapes. TD: I understand, but didn't he give you any advice? Words of wisdom to his only son? SK: Yeah. Life's a bitch.' What are you expectin', Dross? A candy-coated version of a fairy tale? My ol' man was a rampagin' beast. He was hardly home and when he was, he'd put me thru a door. When I turned 17, I clocked him with a bat. Laid 'im out, packed my bags and left 'fore he woke up I really don't feel like talkin' about him. Let's chat bout something else. TD: [Staring] Sorry, I didn't realize that was life at your house. It must have been hard. SK: I ain't cryin' about it. It taught me to be tuff. But hey, he sucked as an ol' man. Next question. TD: Well, since Bruno didn't train you or give you a helping hand into the sport, how did you enter into the pro wrestling business? Meet someone in a gym or were you spotted by a promoter? SK: After I left, I jus' wanted to get as far away as possible. Hopped a train an' a few days later, I wind up in Portland. Big change from Jersey! Y'know clean an' all. So, I'm wanderin' around and lookin' for a job and I find this Indy wrestlin' fed. So I'm like, 'If that old prick can do it...' Meanin' my ol' man. TD: I guessed as much. Creative use of words. SK: Right. Well if he can do it, so can I. So I meet with the promoter an' he says, Son, I'll make you a star.' Probably said that to everyone. I wasn't called the Fury back then, had a different handle. TD: Really? What were you called? SK: It was lame. I was called the Nor'easter Hooligan.. Hated that name, but I was still pretty over with the crowd. Anyways, I'm a one man wreckin' crew, till I hurt this guy. Jarvis "Stump" Wellington, what a pansy! I open his ass up outside the ring, juicin' big time. The fans are freakin' out an' I'm jus' a house of fire! TD: I suppose the promoter didn't like that. Trying to run a clean federation? SK: Something like that. Wellington never got cut before an' he faints. Match is over in like 10 minutes. The Promoter's screaming that I broke his fav face. '[BLEEP] you', I says. I get suspended, so I jump ship an' go to Japan. I spent the rest of my career over there, whippin' on punks like the Excellent Mau, Shanghai Drive-by, Gordon Page and "Intimidator" Woo Fat. TD: And quite the reputation you have had over seas. Next thing I want to cover is the business of your 'retirement tour'. I can understand people like the Sandman, Billy Shakespeare, and the American Patriot, but why Brody Thunder? Your ongoing feud with the Sandman, the taking of Shakespeare's belt and your disdain for the American Patriot as a weak symbol for the country but Thunder? I would assume he is more your kind of wrestler. SK: He is. Tough, mean and angry. But he mentioned he should be ahead of me on Shakes' list and that's bull[BLEEP]! I m second to no man, specially to a gritty cow poker. TD: That's cowpoke. SK: Don't correct me, snapperhead. TD: Sorry. SK: 'Sides, the winner of a Thunder/Kowalski had #1 contender written all over it. It was a good career move fer both of us. Ha ha ha! At least one of us. He jus' needed to learn like the rest of 'em. TD: Learn what? SK: That I _am_ the meanest SOB walkin' the planet! That the SKULLPUMP is the most lethal move goin' today! That hell hath no FURY like me! Ya see, Timmy, its a philos'phy that everyone in the IIWF has got to subscribe to, The New Jersey Nightmare is and always will be the man! TD: Speaking of being the man, what are your thoughts on the appearance and comments of the "loop" leaguers? They've been stirring up a ruckus in the IIWF. SK: I think they're bitin' off more than they can chew. Ya don't come over to my stompin' ground an' bark like a little dawg. They may think they're hot [BLEEP], but as far as I'm concerned, they're jus' full time [BLEEP]holes on a part time paycheck. They better hope I don't catch 'em in the IIWF arena! Hey, I ain't talkin' about some second rate jobbers, buddy. 'Nuff of them, talk to _me_. TD: Of course. What's next for the Fury after the 'retirement tour'? I know you are always planning for the future and the Intercontinental championship seems out of your reach for the moment. Especially since Marty Warnett will get the shot at Ring Wars III. SK: I m gonna compete for the Cruiserweight belt. It's in my line of sight an' after I wrap the tour up, I'll be deservin' of a shot at it. TD: What?! You are obviously not in the weight class. You are 6'4 268 pounds of muscle. This is not a matter of losing a few pounds, it's not in your frame to go that low. How are going to wrestle for that championship if you don't qualify for the division? SK: Don't ya worry about it, beanpole. The New Jersey Nightmare is in line fer every belt. Ya would smart to remember that. TD: Okay, well... how are you going to get in the division then? SK: Time's up, Junior. I guess, I'll jus' leave ya hangin'. [Cut back to the live studio.] ************************************************************************ ----------------------- IIWF SINGLES RANKINGS ------------------------ ************************************************************************ as at 8/3/97 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Casey James H 34 21 11 2 65% (WC) WC Lord Byron H 20 15 5 0 75% (5) IC "Enigma" Takezo Musashi N 26 20 6 0 77% (CW) CW ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Highwayman F 5 4 1 0 80% (1) 1 Deathbringer H 29 21 5 3 78% (2) 2 Steve Kowalski H 16 12 4 0 75% (4) 3 Creed N 11 8 3 0 73% (7) 4 The White Phoenix F 18 12 5 1 70% (6) 5 Billy Shakespeare F 34 23 10 1 69% (9) 6 Subway Psycho F 30 19 9 2 67% (12) 7 Dan Kauffman H 30 19 9 2 67% (8) 8 Otto Verhoeven H 26 17 8 1 67% (10) 9 Brody Thunder H 16 10 6 0 63% (11) 10 "Sychosys" Joe Petrow N 9 6 3 0 67% (14) 11= Mad Dog Watkins H 9 6 3 0 67% (3) 11= Chris Quigley F 22 14 7 1 66% (13) 13 Marty Warnett F 34 22 12 0 65% (IC) 14 Dirt Dog Unique Allah N 13 8 5 0 62% (15) 15 Serge Annis N 9 5 3 1 61% (16) 16 Mr. Damage H 26 14 12 0 54% (17) 17 The Sandman F 29 15 14 0 52% (18) 18 Venusian Death Cell H 18 9 9 0 50% (19) 19 Stud Stetson H 14 6 6 2 50% (20) 20 Cheshire H 10 5 5 0 50% (21) 21 "Badboy" Randy Acorn H 8 4 4 0 50% (22) 22 "Real Deal" Luke Steele F 6 3 3 0 50% (23=) 23 The Hangman H 15 5 7 3 43% (26) 24 Nightwing F 7 3 4 0 43% (23=) 25 Ronnie Paris F 10 4 6 0 40% (25) 26 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Requiem F 3 2 0 1 83% (28) 27 Spur H 4 1 3 0 25% (29) 28 ------------------------------- injured -------------------------------- Tiger Claw H 42 22 18 2 55% (-) - American Patriot F 9 3 6 0 33% (27) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************ ----------------------- IIWF TAG TEAM RANKINGS ----------------------- ************************************************************************ as at 8/3/97 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name of team F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Dark Disciples H 12 7 4 1 63% (WT) WT ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Prophets of Rage H 5 5 0 0 100% (11) 1 The Harlequins N 6 5 1 0 83% (1) 2 Rising Sun Revolution F 16 11 5 0 69% (2) 3 The Armed Forces H 27 17 9 1 67% (3) 4 Domination F 9 5 2 2 67% (4) 5 High Plains Drifters H 29 17 11 1 60% (6) 6 G.W.R. N 12 7 5 0 58% (7) 7 Pain Inc. H 19 10 8 1 56% (9) 8 The Hangmen H 18 9 7 2 56% (5) 9 The Zodiac Connection F 19 10 10 0 50% (8) 10 The Alphabet Boys F 16 7 7 2 50% (10) 11 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Cold Spell F 4 4 0 0 100% (12=) 12 Night Patrol H 3 3 0 0 100% (12=) 13 W & W Express H 4 2 2 0 50% (14) 14 ------------------------------- on leave ------------------------------- The Players' Club F 14 6 8 0 43% (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************ ------------- COMING FRIDAY: Countdown to Saturday Night ------------- ************************************************************************ Be sure to tune into all of the fine IIWF programming throughout the week. Tomorrow, as always, is your recap of the great action at the IIWF Coliseum, "Wednesday War Room." Thursday, my "tag team partner", "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, takes the airwaves with a look back at one of the great moments in wrestling history in "IIWF Classics". Friday, you'll see my favorite show of your IIWF week as Larry Morton and Becky LaRue bring you the big, big "Countdown to Saturday Night". Capped off, of course, by the jewel in the crown, the best two hours of weekly wrestling anywhere in the world -- "IIWF Saturday Night." Don't forget to tune in right here again next week, as I break down the card for RING WARS 3, only available on pay-per-view, don't wait until the last minute... call your local cable company today. For all of us with the finest wrestling federation in the world today, the mighty IIWF, I'm Tim Dross... goodnight, everybody. ["It's the End of the World" by REM plays as the closing credits roll. The crew breaks into spontaneous applause as Tim Dross gives a relieved smile and a noticeable exhalation of air. Fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+