##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== W + E + D + N + E + S + D + A + Y W + A + R R + O + O + M ----------------------------------------------- + 12 March 1997 + [Fade through to a darkened studio: a figure sits behind a curved desk, behind which a large video wall, made up of a number of individual television screens, fades into life, each screen showing highlights from a different recent IIWF match. The studio lights rise, and the figure is revealed to be veteran announcer Tim Dross, who looks up from his papers and speaks:] TD: Hello there, fans, and welcome to another edition of IIWF Wednesday War Room. I'm Tim Dross, and over the course of the next sixty minutes, I'll be bringing you all the news and action from tonight's house show in the IIWF Coliseum. But before we get down to business, I have some disturbing footage to roll for you. The talk of the wrestling world at the moment is the somewhat uneasy situation which currently prevails between the IIWF and some of the other federations involved in the forthcoming Superstar Summit, scheduled to take place between April 6 and 10 at Wembley Stadium, England. Another league based here in Portland, the PCW, ran the following comments made by their Vice-President in a show last weekend. Only now have I managed to secure clearance to show you these comments: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Courtesy of PCW". VP Greg stands in the Grapplearium's Crow's Nest.] VP GREG: Welcome everyone... Back to the TRIBUTE to the Grapplearium! Everyone knows that the SUPERSTAR SUMMIT is ahead of us... The PCW is playing to win this one! Who's our rep gonna be? Steve Sampson? Chris Courage? Alex Rio? We think we've found the best way to solve this... A ring... Four men... Our CV Champ, TV Champ, and the number one and two contenders are in a ring. A man is eliminated by pin... ONLY... We're competing with some other great federations... Our old father fed... The EWA will be there! [Some "EWA" chants are heard as well as "DPW" chants.] We've got the DPW and their stars! Also a couple other up and coming federations... The PIW... The NPWA... All great in their own rights... _But_... But, we also have to tangle with the... [disgusted look on his face.] The... [quietly] The IIWF... I think Super Scott said it right... Scotty called them "King of the [bleep] feds". How can they compete with us? It was always fun to listen to the IIWF, but we never gave them the time of day... Why? Because they didn't deserve it. But some gump went out there, was it Dick Johnson? EWA Prez? But some Gump is actually recognizing them? Who does the IIWF have that can hang with _us_? That can hang with the _LOOP_? The Superstar Summit is _first_ rate... But when the competition is _third_ rate, the Superstar Summit will become _third_ rate... We should not _disgrace_ The Superstar Summit like this... What do we need? A petition to get rid of these degenerates? Let's get to some wrestling... [Cut back to the studio.] TD: Fans, these comments outraged many of the IIWF's high-ranking officials, who imposed an embargo on that footage until they had established their legal position. As it happens, they are unable to prosecute on the strength of those comments, but on the strength of the "invasion" of the so-called "loop", they do have grounds to pursue litigation. However, in the interests of sportsmanship, the IIWF President has invited the PCW to apologise publically for those comments -- if they fail to do so within seven days, legal proceedings will be begun. [Dross turns to face a different camera. The shot cuts to follow him.] Let's move away from the "loop" invasion for now and instead talk about all the great IIWF action coming up in this hour: [Footage of earlier action rolls on the video wall behind the desk: Lord Byron walks down the aisle with the Intercontinental Championship slung over his shoulder.] TD: We'll be hearing from the new Intercontinental Champion, Lord Byron, in just a few moments. [Footage of "Jackhammer" J.P. Steele standing in the ring with a microphone.] TD: He may have lost the Contract Match at Snow Brawl, but "Jackhammer" J.P. Steele made an uninvited return to the IIWF Coliseum tonight. We'll show you that footage. [Footage of the Hangmen making their way down to the ring in force.] TD: Having been knocked out of the US Tag Title Tourney last weekend, veteran team the Hangmen went out to maim and destroy Domination tonight. Did they succeed? We'll tell you. [Footage of Dirt Dog Unique Allah brawling with the "Badboy" Randy Acorn.] TD: The "Badboy" may not be quite so "bad" at the moment, but his win/loss record has been diabolical. Tonight he made his first assault on the higher echelons of the IIWF with a match against the unorthodox Dirt Dog Unique Allah. But who won? We'll tell you. [The IIWF logo fades back onto the video wall.] TD: All that and much more, fans, plus we'll be looking ahead to all the action coming your way this Saturday Night live from the IIWF Coliseum. Before we get to the recap, let's go to an interview conducted with the new Intercontinental Champion, Lord Byron: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." IIWF reporter Larry Morton is standing in the ring.] LM: It seems that last Saturday night was indeed a night of controversy in the IIWF, and perhaps most shocking of all was the IIWF Intercontinental Title changing hands in an unsanctioned match. However, to one man, the result was never in question. That man is the new IIWF Intercontinental champion... [huge heel pop from the crowd] Lord Byron! [The fans are on their feet jeering as 'Intermezzo' from Karelia Suite plays over the PA system, and Lord Byron steps into the aisle, dressed as elegantly as ever, hair pinned back and carrying his brass-topped cane in one hand, holding the I.C. Title over his shoulder with the over. He pauses for a second at the head of the aisle, treating the crowd to a look of complete disdain before entering the ring and walking up to Larry Morton.] LM: [almost shouting above the jeers] Lord Byron. There are a lot of questions that need answering following the events of last Saturday night.... LB: [cutting him off] Your questions can wait, Mr. Morton. First of all, I have a few words for our good friend the "Party Maniac". [Byron's lip curls in a sneer, and the crowd erupts once again as he takes the mic...] LB: It's often been said that fortune favours the brave, Warnett, but the saying that I prefer is that the brave are foolish, and always the first to fall. You made a [Byron sneers] "brave" decision on Saturday night, and you paid the price for it. The title is mine, Warnett, and so is your worthless hide at Ring Wars III. The tables may have turned, Warnett, but the result will be the same. As challenger or champion, you possess not a tithe of my wrestling ability, [Byron smirks] and nowhere near my knowledge of the human mind. And now, you have nothing, my friend. Not the title, [Byron sneers] not the girl, not even your pride. Nothing. LM: Ring Wars III, Byron. Warnett will almost certainly be looking to take his title back, and gain some measure of revenge along the way. [Byron glares witheringly at Morton.] LB: _His_ title, Mr. Morton? The man is perfectly welcome to try. Unfortunately, I have other ideas. This title, Mr. Morton, is going to stay around this shoulder for a long, long time, you can count on that. Warnett and I have walked the aisle, oh, five times now, is it? So far he's pulled together two out of the five, but in every case, only one man has come out on top in the end. [Byron sneers] Warnett knows who it is, the fact attends him with every waking hour. Remember the feeling, Warnett, as DeWinter's shoe came crashing down on your skull? Remember being tied in the ropes, forced to watch helplessly as I subdued Tragedy with the Aristoclutch? Remember the feeling of despair as the referee's hand came down to the canvas, once, twice, three times? At Ring Wars III, I assure you that you will re-live every single moment. And I will leave the ring as I stand here now: the IIWF's Intercontinental champion. [Byron pauses, waiting for the jeering to die down with a sneer on his face.] Moreover, Mr. Morton, this is only the beginning. One week after Ring Wars III, I will be honoured to represent the IIWF at the ESWP's What the World is Watching III, and face their current European Champion [Byron sneers] "The Spartan" Troy Walters. LM: And presumably your cane will be a deciding factor there as well? LB: [smirking] I have no idea what you mean, Mr. Morton. Sarcasm does not suit you, my friend. You should stick to the questions on your cue card. But as for our dear friend Mr. Walters, I will say the same thing to you that I said to Warnett: Enjoy your success while you can. Because come March the 29th, I intend to unify the titles. I saw your imbecilic comments, your apparent nonchalance. You are flirting with disaster, my friend, you sound like a man already defeated. You would do well to think about the mistake our own poor Party Maniac insists on making every time he faces me. The mistake of believing he can win. There's a great difference between belief and ability, Walters. [Byron sneers] I'll be ready to teach you where to draw the line. LM: Byron... about the Lady DeWinter, we all need to know... was this really all just a set up? [The crowd's negative reaction dies down slightly as they hear the question. Byron's sneer melts from his face, and his voice takes on a softer tone...] LB: Yes and no. You see, Mr. Morton, while I take no pleasure in manipulating people's emotions, that is exactly what I have been doing here all along. For DeWinter herself, this will all have seemed very real. You see, Mr. Morton, Milady is probably feeling very hurt and very confused right now. [There is a big mixed pop as the Lady DeWinter appears in the aisle, wearing jeans and a IIWF sweatshirt. Despite the tangled hair and tear streaked face, she still looks the picture of beauty. Byron turns around, looking up unsurprised as she slowly approaches, glancing around at the crowd.] LB: After all, Milady, way back in early December, it was your intention to cost me my match with Warnett, was it not? I must admit, even I had not expected that. But I realised how I could play that, and you, to my advantage. [DeWinter stops at the head of the aisle, shaking her head in disbelief and denial. Byron cocks his head and smiles] LB: The rose, Milady? Was that what turned your head? Or was it the lure of fame, the lure of the title Warnett held? The title I now hold? As I have said in the past, Milady, it is those who seek to do good that suffer most from their actions. You chose the wrong path in siding with a fool, a joke like Warnett. You see that now, don't you? [Byron smirks, and holds out his hand to DeWinter. She takes a step backwards, shaking her head again. The smirk fades from Byron's face] LB: Milady, I truly apologise for any hurt and pain I may have caused you. It was never my intention to do so. Come back with me, Milady. Forgive and forget, as I have done. We can work this out. [Byron holds the ropes open, and holds his hand out to DeWinter. The crowd around ringside start yelling at DeWinter not to do it. Byron smiles, and beckons her again, and this time, she steps forward slowly, almost reluctantly, and takes his hand, allowing him to help her into the ring. She hangs her head, and Byron removes his jacket, placing it around her shoulders, and lifts her chin up gently, to a huge heel pop] LB: I knew you would come around, Milady. You know I would never hurt you, don't you? We are a team, Milady, you and I. [DeWinter throws her arms around Byron's waist, sobbing, and Byron looks across at Larry Morton.] LB: As my good friend Steve Roberts said on Saturday night, the party's over. Ciao. [Byron once again holds the ropes open for the Lady DeWinter, and the duo exit the ring to "Intermezzo" from Karelia Suite and a huge heel pop. Cut back to Dross in the studio.] TD: The rivalry between Lord Byron and Marty Warnett shows no signs of abating as we continue our headlong dash towards Ring Wars III, which is now just ten short days away! In just a few moments, we'll get to the recap of tonight's Coliseum action, but before that, let's take a look at the uninvited appearance of the "Jackhammer" J.P. Steele, one-time IIWF wrestler and now DPW star. Without so much as an announcement, he simply made his way to the ring: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Suddenly, there is a commotion near the ring entrance. "Daydream Believer" by the Monkees plays over the PA system, and a decent face pop erupts in shock. From the entrenceway appears a man not seen by the IIWF since the new year began. A man who had left with his dream smashed, and went off to a new land: "Jackhammer" J.P. Steele. He has on blue jeans and a red t-shirt adorned with the DPW logo. He smiles, waves to the crowd, then walks down to the ring. He motions for a microphone, which he receives, and waits for silence.] LM: [over the headset] I can't believe this! Where's security _this_ time?! SR: [over the headset] Steele's so much of a loser, he's probably only come out here to whine about having his tail kicked out of the world's premier wrestling organisation. Maybe we can get some guys out here to kick his tail out a second time. STEELE: Well, look what the cat dragged in. Don't worry, IIWF, I ain't pullin' a Mr. Robinson. Some of us from the "loop" have class, and don't invade. In fact, I got permission from ol' Danny Spreadbury to speak my mind. So, relax. I ain't shootin' my mouth off at you and scarin' the head office. What I'm here to do is make some sorta' challenge for Superstar Summit, comin' ever so near. Now, I'd like to represent my home turf of the Dawg Pound of Wrestling and face anybody the IIWF would like to throw at me. Why? Well, to earn some respect. If I remember correctly, IIWF people didn't -- and don't -- think much of me. Well, why? Remember Snow Brawl? I outclassed Luke Steele, and fell victim to one stinkin' mistake. They made me wait from November 'til Febuary before I pulled the plug and told 'em to forget it. I've seen plenty others come on in, and I could lick anyone of them, point blank. Then, I happen to come across their hotline not too long ago, and they decide to call me a "brown-noser" in the "loop"? Well... brown nosin' never got anyone anywhere, and it sure as hell wasn't the way I came in and kicked ass in DPW, buddy. Now, before I snap off and go bonkers, lemme' make this clear. Anyone you got, c'mon. Hey, why don't you send that Luke fellow to face me? Oh wait, I forgot, he's not doin' anything to earn such a thing. He flopped, and look at me. IIWF, you missed the boat. I'm endin' up a big time player, and now you see me flyin' out the door. I left on good terms, but I still want my respect. I want to show everyone in this federation that I _deserve_ everything my skill earns me. IIWF, send your best. J.P. Steele'll take care of the rest! [Steele drops the mic, and walks off. The crowd is buzzing. Cut back to the studio.] TD: No word as yet whether anybody will step up to accept Steele's challenge, but I'll keep you posted. Okay, folks, without further ado, let's get to tonight's action: [Images of the wrestlers and their stats roll onto the video wall:] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Ronnie Paris vs. Jumpin' Jack 210lbs, 6'0" 230lbs, 6'1" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Ronnie Paris has suffered a few setbacks in recent weeks, largely thanks to the mysterious Spur, but thankfully the masked man was not present tonight, and Paris was able to hit his new finisher, the Paris-Plex, on Jack for the pinfall victory in under two minutes. [WINNER: Ronnie Paris by pinfall in 1:51.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The Sandman vs. Bobby B. Goode 290lbs, 6'7" 230lbs, 6'1" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: The Sandman has made his overtures on the Intercontinental Championship clear, and he went out into the Coliseum tonight to prove that he's championship material. Bobby B. Goode never stood a chance -- but Steve "the Fury" Kowalski, the Sandman's opponent at Ring Wars III, wanted a closer look at his nemesis' performance. Let's go to that footage: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." As the Sandman continues to brutalize his battered opponent, a ruckus starts up in the far west crowd. It becomes painfully evident that the "Fury" chants can mean only one thing. Steve Kowalski makes his way down to ringside. Sparkplug Lee kindly hands over the mic, so everyone can hear the New Jersey Nightmare's words of wisdom.] SK: Hey, scumbag! That's right, I'm talkin' to ya! Yer days of tryin' to ride the Fury's coat tails into the spotlight, ARE OVER! I'm here to tell ya that I accept yer anything goes Ottawa slam dance or whatever the [BLEEP] ya call it! Ya wanna dance? then _I'm_ gonna lead! [Kowalski points to himself, emphasizing his point. The crowd is in a frenzy, shaking the railings and screaming like madmen.] SK: I'm gonna rip yer weak-ass boogieman mask of yer face an' SKULLPUMP you, clean an' pure! [The SKULLPUMP chant starts.] Skin to stone, forehead to canvas, brain to chair, its gonna happen! So count yer blessin's and have yer mama light a candle for ya... Cause, buddy, at Ring Wars III... The New Jersey Nightmare is gonna light ya up hotter than a firecracker! I'm outta here! [Kowalski makes his way out to a huge hardcore pop. The Sandman is fuming, preparing for the Nightmare slam. Cut back to the studio.] TD: And the Sandman duly put Goode away with the Nightmare and then headed back to the locker room in pursuit of Kowalski. When these two men clash in a Street Fight at Ring Wars III, it's going to be a brutal brawl. [WINNER: The Sandman by pinfall in 4:22.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Cheshire vs. "Nifty" Ned Norton 220lbs, 6' 245lbs, 6'2" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: The sick clown Cheshire is now without his manager, Dr. Hinterhalt, after he was kidnapped by Native American Nightwing as a retaliative measure to the German stealing Nightwing's treasured eagle friend Chiquoit. Nonetheless, Cheshire was still more than effective in the ring tonight, putting Norton away in under three minutes with his deadly Humorizer mandible claw. [WINNER: Cheshire by submission in 2:44.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= ARMED FORCES vs. THE ROTUNDOS NavCom & DefCon Rotundo #1 & Rotundo #2 comb. 643lbs comb. 900lbs =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: NavCom and DefCon have been trying to regain championship form in the past few months, but various problems with fledgling tag team stable, Team Brutality, has resulted in the Forces doing no small amount of soul-searching. However, they were devastatingly effective in the ring tonight, putting the Rotundos away -- even managing to suplex one of the huge athletes before NavCom hit his ICBM splash from the top turnbuckle. After the match, who should come down to the ring but the Zodiac Connection: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." As the Armed Forces stand in the ring, victorious, the Zodiac Connection approach ringside. Taurus picks up the microphone:] TA: Congratulations on another win, gentlemen! We have just decided to drop on by to ask you two a little question. We won't take much of your time! SC: Armed Forces, if you are truly looking for the opportunity to show the world concrete proof, I want to know: will you team up with us against Team Brutality in an eight-man tag match at Ring Wars III? [Without waiting for an answer, the Zodiac Connection walks back to the locker room, leaving the steel pipes behind. Nav and Def regard the pipes with interest. Cut back to the studio.] TD: Whether the Forces will accept that invitation remains to be seen, but I hope we won't see Nav and Def running around with steel pipes from now on. [WINNER: the Armed Forces by pinfall in 6:28.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The Cell vs. Mr. Damage 332lbs, 6'5" 245lbs, 6'3" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: The Cell -- formerly the Venusian Death Cell -- has really been on a tear as of late, since becoming associated with the questionably intentioned Oak, head of a bizarre religious cult, but tonight he came up against arguably his toughest opponent for several weeks. Mr. Damage hasn't yet lost a match in 1997, and he was looking to keep up that unbeaten streak. Let's hear from both individuals, beginning with the Cell: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier This Week." Fade up to the Oakland mansion. A "cloaker" opens the door to Larry Morton and a cameraman.] LM: Hello, we've come to get some comments from the Venusian Death Cell regarding his encounter with Mr Damage tomorrow evening. Cloaker: Sorry, sir, but the Cell, as he now wishes to be known, is unavailable for questioning right now. He is currently in meditation. LM: Okay, maybe we could wait, or better yet come back later Cloaker: [defensively] No. [he regains his composure] I can go and get Oak for you though. Will that suffice? LM: Yes, that'd be fine. [The cloaker goes to find Oak. Lary looks at the camera.] LM: This really is a fine building. Here he comes... [Oak's voice can be heard upstairs. He's obviously shouting at the cloaker. However, he descends the stairs and shakes Larry warmly by the hand.] Oak: Hello, Mr Morton. To what do we owe this surprise? LM: I've been assigned to get some comments off you before tomorrow's match with Mr Damage. Oak: [hurriedly] Ah, yes. Last week, the self proclaimed "Real Deal" found out that the Cell is all business now. As did, unfortunately, the American Patriot. I hear it was suspected that his shoulder was dislocated, or broken....? [Larry nods his head] But now he's informed us that the doctor was wrong. I'm sure the Cell will be pleased to hear he didn't overstep the mark... this time. Mr Damage is not physically able to beat the Cell. If he were, I would _not_ allow the Cell into the ring with him. Now if you'd kindly excuse me, I am very busy upstairs. [Oak opens the big wooden door and escorts Larry out. As the door shuts on him Larry speaks:] LM: Thanks for your time. [The door slams shut. The srceen spins. Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Mr. Damage stands in the locker room.] MD: This week I have to wrestle the Cell. The man who was cured from VD! [laughs] Well, Cell, I am still unbeaten in the year of 1997. Noone has pinned these shoulders on the mat -- not Luke Steele, not Ronnie Paris, not Harlequin Chaos and not even World Heavyweight Champ Casey "Blackheart" James and you aren't going to either. If that Acorn or Fern bloke comes near me he is gonna get hit with my piece of Willow [holds up cricket bat]. See you in the ring, Cell. [Cut back to the studio.] TD: Were those foliage jokes intentional, do you think? In any case, the match got underway, and saw the Cell dominate from the bell. Mr. Damage struggled to compete with the power of the big monster, and he seemed to have one eye on the four "cloakers" outside the ring, which were certainly a distraction for him. However, they weren't as much of a distraction as the American Patriot was to the Cell. If you remember, the Cell injured the Patriot last week, but the damage turned out not to be as severe as first feared, and the Patriot was given clearance to return to the rings. He came down to the ring tonight to get a look at the Cell, and ended up costing him the match, allowing Mr. Damage to roll him up from behind for a quick pinfall victory at the climax of a hard-fought match. [WINNER: Mr. Damage by pinfall in 15:51.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven vs. Majestic Maurice McArthur 340lbs, 6'8" 230lbs, 6'1" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: The Butcher was absolutely relentless in this match, not only hitting McArthur with the Meathook chokeslam, but two Slaughterslams... In fact, after eventually putting McArthur out of his misery after the three count, Verhoeven risked having the decision reversed by the referee as he continued to beat on the prone Triple M. However, Nurse Heidi seemed to placate Verhoeven sufficiently to drag him from the ring -- the Butcher's angry about something, and his Ring Wars III opponents would be wise to watch out. His three teammates may be the luckiest men in the building next Saturday night at the Skydome. [WINNER: Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven by pinfall in 4:11.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TAPED FIST MATCH: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= W & W EXPRESS vs. HIGH PLAINS DRIFTERS Doug Wayne & Clark Watson Pale Rider & Easy Rider comb. 500lbs comb. 502lbs ----------------------------------------------------------------------- TD: After the Drifters came down in place of the Rotundos last week to battle the W & W Express and then came out on the loser's end of the purse money, they challenged Wayne and Watson to a rematch -- this time with taped fists. However, when Pale and Easy came to the ring, they were surprised to find only Doug Wayne in the ring. As they surrounded Wayne, Clark Watson rolled out from under the ring and blindsided Easy Rider. The referee signalled for the start of the match, and Easy was immediately in a fight for his life. Eventually, however, Easy managed to tag out to Pale, and while Pale cleaned house on the inside, Easy seemed to be receiving strategy tips from Josey Wales. However, as it turned out, he was actually receiving rather more -- Pale tagged Easy Rider back into the ring, and Easy nailed Watson with a single punch from his taped fist, busting the "Beach Bum" open. He was able to get a pinfall over Watson, and the Drifters then exited the ring hastily, as if they had something to hide. Of course, they did -- upon closer examination of footage of the match, it turns out that Josey Wales slipped a steel plate under the tape on Easy's right fist. The Drifters may have won tonight, but it was a cheap victory -- we'll see whether the W & W Express take it lying down. [WINNERS: High Plains Drifters by pinfall in 14:31.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder vs. El Super Gecko 267lbs, 6'2" 220lbs, 6'1" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Following the announcement that the match between Brody Thunder and Billy Shakespeare at Ring Wars III would be a "Winner Must Use Loser's Finisher" match, insiders are already predicting a win for Billy Shakespeare -- why? Because Shakespeare can execute the Thunderbolt, but who would have thought that 267lbs of Brody Thunder could execute a backflip cross-body block from the top rope, Billy's Curtain Call? Thunder has a habit of silencing his critics, and he did so tonight in fine style, not only laying the Gecko out with a Thunderbolt, but also hitting him with a sloppy but passable Curtain Call from the top rope. It's clear that Thunder is training hard for this match, and it may not be as much of a foregone conclusion as insiders were predicting. [WINNER: Brody Thunder by pinfall in 4:37.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= THE HANGMEN vs. DOMINATION Hangman #1 & Hangman #2 "Perfect" Dani Jarvier & Monster comb. 705lbs comb. 618lbs =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: As revealed by Domination a few days ago, the reason we haven't been hearing much from them is due to their involvement in the inter-federational Porter Cup. Domination defeated the Harlequins in the first round last weekend, and will advance to face Cartoon Violence in a couple of weeks. Tonight, however, they had to turn their attentions to a domestic battle with veteran duo, the Hangmen, who certainly weren't planning to take it easy on Monster and Jarvier: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." The entire Hangmen Inc. entourage stand in the locker room, with the Judge Roy Bean and the Hangman at the forefront.] JRB: Domination, are you ready for this? My boys, the Hangmen, are about as agitated as I have ever seen them. The loss last week to Cold Spell did not sit well with them. The climb to the top is a long and dangerous one. The Hangmen have worked hard to be where they are and will not let you get in the way of their quest. Somebody is going to the hospital and I do believe it will not be them. The level of performance and action that you will encounter can only make you better, however the better you are the greater The Hangman become. Domination, prepare to be dominated... TH: JRB, I am back. mission was succesful. When I debut the things I have learned, your father will finally get his deserved rest. IIWF make sure you have the Paramedics and Ambulance standing by. My foes will only feel woe as I embark on the trail to my destiny... [Cut back to the studio.] TD: This was one of the most hard-fought matches I've seen in recent months. The Hangmen's brutal style seemed not to deter Domination in the slightest, and Monster was able to give as good as he got in this encounter. However, when Jarvier was trapped in the ring, he was at a distinct disadvantage, because he simply didn't seem able to cope with the punishing assault of the Hangmen. Nonetheless, Jarvier's endurance allowed him to escape the clutches of the huge masked executioners, and he pulled off a pinfall out of nowhere after an inside cradle. [WINNERS: Domination by pinfall in 18:11.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Dirt Dog Unique Allah vs. "Badboy" Randy Acorn 238lbs, 6'2" 227lbs, 6'3" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: The main event in the Coliseum tonight pitted the Dirt Dog Unique Allah against the "Badboy" Randy Acorn. Let's hear from both men -- or, at least, Larry Morton _attempted_ to get words with the Badboy: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Larry Morton and Randy Acorn are standing in the locker room.] LM: Randy, I've asked you here to answer a few questions that I'm sure everyone would like to see answered. RA: Yes you have, but here you won't get them. LM: What? RA: You'll get them soon enough. [Randy leaves the locker room as Morton stands there aghast.] LM: The mystery continues... [The screen spins. Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Unique Allah's wild eyes are framed in a tight close up. They are bright and red and staring.] UA: Yeah! Bad Boy Randy Acorn, you want to see something? You want to look into the eye of the Dirt Dog? See, what you see, is something crazy! Is something insane! This is the red-eyed menace! The rabid, low down and dirty DIRT DOG! Yeah, and I got something to say to you. See, see, see, you want to be an acorn, a little seed? Great, but you ain't no oak tree yet boy. You ain't nothin' big and special and the Dirt Dog is gonna get rid of you quick quick quick. Why? Cause I got some business to handle with a certain Sychotic. You's a bad speller, muhfuh! Yeah, you want to get crazy with the Dirt Dog well that's fine! I don't care! Come on down, muhfuh! Come on down and get a good look at what this l'il doggy is gonna do to the bad boy. Yeah, bad record company to be named after. All you gonna do is wind up dead! You think you making a comeback, Acorn? Hah, you're gonna be cut down in your prime! Yeah! [Cut back to the studio.] TD: As Unique Allah and Medusa Rage made their way to the ring, "Sychosys" Joe Petrow, whom Allah will be facing at Ring Wars III in a "Seven Tables of Fear" Match, came up from behind and handcuffed himself to Rage. Threatening to do her great harm if he attacked, Unique was forced to wrestle the match, with Petrow taking advantage, threatening Medusa and distracting Allah every time he got an advantage in the match. However, Petrow also took the odd cheap shot at the Badboy -- he clearly wanted both men to lose. Nonetheless, Petrow's presence seemed to make Allah all the more determined to win the match in as fast a time as possible. At the climax of the match, he hid his Deadly Venom spray from the ref, but shot it right into Acorn's eyes before setting him up for the Fatal Flying Guillotine. He scored the pinfall, and after the match, Petrow cuffed Rage to the ringpost, threatening her with harm if the Dirt Dog came close, before retreating into the refuge of the Sychopaths in the crowd. [WINNER: Dirt Dog Unique Allah by pinfall in 14:33.] TD: That just about wraps it up for tonight, folks. Don't forget to join us this Saturday Night for the last dose of IIWF action before that huge pay-per-view extravaganza, Ring Wars III -- featuring such headline matches as Mad Dog Watkins vs. Brody Thunder, Creed vs. Steve "the Fury" Kowalski, Requiem vs. Serge Annis, and Dan Kauffman's last ever IIWF Coliseum appearance as he faces the Dirt Dog Unique Allah. Don't miss a moment of the action! Fans, I leave you with comments from one "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley, who responds to the hostile comments made by his Ring Wars III opponent, Dan Kauffman. There's more IIWF action coming your way this week, but for now, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! [Tim Dross walks toward what looks to be an old warehouse, in a small desolate section of Fredricton, New Brunswick, Canada. Thumping can be heard even from the outside, as Dross looks around for a way in. He's not sure why he agreed to come here, but he knew it was important, or Chris Quigley wouldn't have asked. Finally, Dross finds an entrance, opening the door with a loud creak, a sound which is equally matched with every step Dross takes on the floorboards. He cautiously walks across the room, towards a figure, plunging fists into a barrel of what appears to be crushed stone. With every punch, the figure contorts his face and valiantly holds in his reaction to the pain. Dross is now next to the figure, who is wearing nothing but a pair of ragged jean shorts and a pair of sandals. The gold ring in his navel is gone. His hair is dusty and falling natural. Quigley is looking a little different.] TD: Chris? [Quigley, so lost in whatever it is he was doing, looks up quickly to see Dross. He relaxes a little and removes his hands from the barrel, revealing a pair of bloody hands. He extends one for Dross to shake, but thinks better and just nods at Dross instead.] TD: I'm not sure what you're doing here in Fredricton. Hell, I'm not even sure what _I'm_ doing here. The fact remains that you wanted to talk and you wanted to talk now. [Quigley nods] TD: Well, I guess the thing I've got to ask you first, is what about what Dan Kauffman has said to you. He's practically slandered you, the way you wrestle, the way you talk, the way you dress, and the way you sleep at night. Any thoughts on that? [Quigley lets his right hand plunge deep into the barrel of crushed stone again, before hauling it out, dripping with fresh blood. He looks back at the camera] CQ: Dan Kauffman should pay more attention to how I wrestle and less attention to what I say. How many times have I told my opponents _this_, Dan Kauffman: I do my talking in the ring. You can talk about how I do the same routine night in and night out... what am I _supposed_ to do? I'm a champion without his belt right now. I go in the ring every night trying to win a few matches to get me a title shot, but the guys, I don't know what their problems are.. they see me as the best, or because I'm alone I'm an easy target, but it's _constant_ interference. I have _seven_ losses in the IIWF. How many of those have I lost cleanly? NOT ONE! There's always something going on behind my back, and I've fallen asleep. It's not if I'll get attacked now, it's just _when_ I'll get attacked! But I've freely accepted that the jealousy of me, of everything I do runs through every single IIWF wrestler. This is the form of a man who has dedicated his life to being #1, and has obviously achieved it. Some people can't stand to see that happen. Maybe you're one of them, Kauffman. When you said, "I wish Chris Quigley hadn't shown up." in your last interview... were you talking about showing up to interfere in your match with Annis? Or were you talking about showing up in the IIWF in the first place! Hell, you invited me here, DK. I got the message for help on my machine. But wait, as soon as I come in, everyone immediatly takes notice. Considered by many to be the _best_ wrestler in the IIWF and the world! You couldn't handle losing the attention then, and it's all boiling over now! [Quigley turns and sends his left hand into the crushed stone and pulls it out.] CQ: Yeah, my interviews are _real_ repetitive, Kauffman. But I haven't lied in a single one. When I say that come Ring Wars III, there will be absolutely nothing left of you but a bloody, sorry, retired has been... I MEAN IT! [Quigley smiles] CQ: I'll leave you alone until Ring Wars... sure. Have it your way, Dan. I wouldn't want you to get sick of me now, because God knows you're gonna be sick of me after the match! [Quigley turns back to his barrel, but instead, turns back to the camera...] CQ: And you wanna know something else? It's gonna be a war... but I'll come out on top anyway. [With a wink and a smile, he turns away from the camera and goes back to his barrel, and begins the fist hardening ritual all over again.] TD: Chris... can I ask you... [Dross realizes it's useless and just shrugs and walks away, back out the door of the warehouse, the creaks on the floor drowned out by the repetitive beats of fist on stone, which is all you hear, like a war drum, as the scene fades to black.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+