##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== "IIWF MONDAY MUSINGS" March 17, 1997 =============================================== ************************************************************************** -------------------- IIWF SATURDAY NIGHT RESULTS ----------------------- ************************************************************************** MARCH 15, 1997 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ HIGHWAYMAN def. THE SANDMAN PROPHETS OF RAGE def. THE HARLEQUINS NIGHT PATROL def. COLD SPELL REQUIEM def. SERGE ANNIS MAD DOG WATKINS def. BRODY THUNDER SUBWAY PSYCHO def. THE WHITE PHOENIX CHRIS QUIGLEY def. MARTY WARNETT DAN KAUFFMAN def. DIRT DOG UNIQUE ALLAH NO CONTEST: OTTO VERHOEVEN vs. RANDY ACORN NO CONTEST: STEVE KOWALSKI vs. CREED ************************************************************************** ----------------- WRESTLERS SPEAK: THE FLASH FORUM --------------------- ************************************************************************** PROPHETS OF RAGE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Pizzazz, Shadoe, Derek and Medusa Rage all celebrate their victory over the Harlequins.] DR: Y'all see what we mean. Undefeated. Undefeatable. And that's a damn fact. There ain't nobody out there who can stop this. Ring Wars III. That's gonna be our spot. I promise you that. SR: Freak out! Freak out! You set a bunch of clowns against us and we laughed all the way to the bank! Now what, you got some cops coming at us. Cops from Houston, Texas. Man, we gonna show you exactly what we mean by police brutality. You saw us get inside the Harlequins heads and psych them right out. Well, watch real close as we take your nightsticks and smash them right up your throats. You know, those protruding handles will make their insertion into your rectums that much more painful. I hear they play merry hell with your kidneys. MR: See, everybody talks about Melody and Comedy being able to wrestle. I guess y'all didn't realise Pizzazz and I wrestle too. I guess you didn't realize that we're the engines driving this. Brenda, I wonder if you're going to be brave enough to appear in the court of the rage. P: You might be sentenced to ze death! SR: Night Patrol, Ring Wars III is comin' fast. In the Skydome no less. That's Canada, our home turf. And you don't got jurisdiction. DR: So boys, that means you're through before you even begin. Time for your trip through the age of the Rage! ======================================================================= NIGHT PATROL ~~~~~~~~~~~~ KEENE: It's finally here! It's finally here! HAWKINGS: Prophets of Rage, I hope you don't plan on carrying the belts out of Toronto at Ring Wars III. What you see here is the finest combination of speed, power and teamwork put into a tag team. These men are the new U.S. Champions. BLAZER: Prophets, take my advice and don't show up. Shadoe, you can't fly with Keene, and Derek, that never-was playground basketball ass is mine. KEENE: Prophets of Mange, We've studied you and analyzed you... you're an exceptional team. Problem is, you're running into a better one Saturday night. HAWKINGS: Oh, and Medusa and Pizza-ass, whatever your name is... If you little girls want to attack me like you have others in the past few weeks, remember you're talking to a renowned Big Ten athlete, and I'll have a partner in my corner. ======================================================================= REQUIEM ~~~~~~~ [SCENE: The IIWF interview area. The lights dim as Requiem enters, softly playing The Music Of The Unknowingly Damned upon his night black electric guitar. As he speaks he continues to play, his soft voice carrying over the bittersweet melody.] REQ: Deathbringer, once again I have heard your words. Once again I am not impressed. Do not presume to instruct me on darkness. I do not speak of the darkness of a windowless dungeon. Nor of the darkness of the night that has inspired so many terrors, legends, fears and nightmares. Instead I speak of the Light of Creation, the energy that races throughout the Universe, the divine flame that burns within the souls of man. The infinitesimal spark of eternity that brings us hope, joy, love, and all that goes to make a man good, all that goes to make man noble. It is said by some that Hell is the absence of the grace of God, that the damned suffer simply by knowing that they shall never enter the divine presence. Perhaps this is so. In a similar way, the Darkness Of The Soul is the absence of the Light, not a force unto itself. One who has set aside the Light, knowingly or unknowingly turning their back against all that is good and noble within the human spirit, has embraced Darkness. Such a man is to be pitied, but he is also to be feared, for he is a soulless thing. Deathbringer, embrace your darkness. But know that if you embrace the Darkness Of The Soul, we shall meet as mortal enemies. You have heard The Music Of The Unknowingly Damned. Perhaps at Ring Wars III you will hear the warning within. Even an immortal may be damned, albeit unknowingly.... ======================================================================= BRODY THUNDER ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Thunder slowly walks into the IIWF interview area. He turns and notices the camera rolling. His left eye is slightly bloodied, nearly swollen shut, from his match with Mad Dog Watkins only minutes before. His demeanour quickly changes from one of disgust to one of intense anger.] BT: Hmm, hmm, hmm...looks like the ol' sayin' is true... every dog does have his day. [Thunder winces as he puts a towel to his eye.] Well Dog... you just had yers. Ya got the win, son... I can't take that away from ya. I guess that makes us even... one win apiece. It sure was one helluva fight though. Got me the trophy ta prove it. [Thunder removes the towel and points to his swollen eye. A trickle of blood slowly seeps down from the eye.] Well, ain't never been one ta let scores go unsettled. So here's what I'm gonna do... [Thunder wipes the blood from his eye with his forearm.] Right now I'm gonna get ready ta knock the spit outta ol' Billy Shakespeare at Ring Wars III so my schedule's booked tight. But after I stomp a mudhole through him, I want another shot at ya, son. This here tonight didn't settle a thing as far as I'm concerned. We're two of a pair, you an' I, Watkins. An' that's why I aim ta prove that I'm the better man. Here's the deal... One more match. One more match to see just who is the toughest hombre in this berg. I'm bettin' yer lookin' at 'im right now, son. All you gotta do is prove me wrong an' ya can't do that if ya don't get in that ring, my friend. Ball's in yer court now, Watkins... [Thunder squints real close to the camera.] ...don't drop it, son. It wouldn't be in yer best health. [Thunder puts the towel over his eye, winks at the camera and leaves the interview area.] ======================================================================= DIRT DOG UNIQUE ALLAH ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Dirt Dog glares into the camera after his match with Dan Kauffman.] DDUA: Yeah, y'all think that's funny the way I lost, didn't ya? Y'all think that Kauffman's the baddest man on the planet, right. Well, he ain't. He ain't. And Petrow. You ain't nothin' either. Ring Wars III. That's the dog's day. You hear me, muhfuh? That's the dog's day! I'm a smash you through every table in the building! And Petrow, the run of psychosis don't gonna go no further! That's a promise, boy! On yo momma! YEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!! ======================================================================= DAN KAUFFMAN ~~~~~~~~~~~~ DK: It's time. Chris Quigley, you and I have woven our trails for two years now. You and I have waited for that one match that would pit us against one another. Everyone watched us develop from boys to athletes to men. Everyone has argued for a long time which one of us is better. At Ring wars, all the talking will end, and the whole world will see just who is the best. It's time. Just one more week before I hang up the boots and wash the tights for what I see being the last time. I've thought about returning many time; when to do it, how to do it, and why to do it. I still don't feel there will be a return for myself, which means that I'm going to go out at my best. Chris Quigley, you will have the honor, one way or another, of saying that you wrestled the very best Dan Kauffman there ever was. It's time. In just one week, one of us will say "I Quit". I can't think of a better way to do it, Chris. neither one of us gives an inch, much less altogether. Who has the will? Who has the heart? Who wants it the most? It's time. Chris Quigley, one week. Then, the wrestling world witnesses the greatest single match in history. That is my promise. Let's get it on! ======================================================================= RANDY ACORN ~~~~~~~~~~~ [Scene opens in IIWF Interview Area. Randy Acorn is standing by himself with his arms folded in front of him and a serious expression on his face. The camera moves in a bit as he begins to speak] RA: Everyone may be wondering what I was thinking on Saturday. Well, I was thinking that I needed a change. I'm sick and tired of everyone looking at me like I'm a washed-up has-been. Don't get me wrong, I'm still the biggest, baddest Badboy there is and my attitude has only changed a bit. Right now I'm looking forward to this Wild Card matchup. Unfortunately for Verhoeven and the rest of his tag-alongs, it's not so much of a Wild Card for our side anymore. [Acorn gives a smile as he pauses for a moment. His expression turns serious again as he begins to speak] Otto, I'm kind of disappointed we didn't get to wrestle but I am happy that I got bash your head in with those brass knuckles. I do want to let you know that I can't wait to get into the ring with you again and this time it will be without brass knuckles. Just me and you. Everyone make a path, The Badboy's comin' through. ======================================================================= CREED ~~~~~ [Moments after the "no contest" decision in his match against Steve Kowalski, Creed skulks around the IIWF interview area, his red left-handed glove twitching wildly.] CREED: Kept my promise. Kept my word like a man. [Creed begins to get a little emotional] Kept my word like a DAMN MAN!! LIKE A DAMN MAN! [Creed regains his icy composure] Now it's done. Done for me, done for you, done for everyone, Old Dog. Gonna shut you down, Old Dog. Gonna move you out. One Week... One Week... One Week... One Week. [The shot zooms in on the red glove, still twitching as Creed's voice trails off.] ======================================================================= STEVE KOWALSKI ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ SK: Ring Wars is jus' 'round the corner! An' the competition is heatin' up! Punks like Ol' Dawg an' the Cow Poker can't keep their [BLEEP] outta my matches! Not that Creed could of handled all of this. Scumbags from a fergotted fed, come in an' try to tell us that they're bad men! Boys, you ain't seen bad yet! But even with all this crap goin' on, I got my target in sight. Sandman, I hope yer trainin' yer ass off in that joke ya call the iron den. 'Cause this is gonna be the be all, end all of meetin's between us. Yer Toronto Street Fight is gonna close the book. After I leave you a bloody mess, I can go on to bigger an' better things. I got smaller fish to fry. Cruiserweights, here I come. ======================================================================= BILLY SHAKESPEARE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Billy Shakespeare paces the interview area. He stops only long enough to address the camera] BS: Everyone wants to be a star... everyone wants the spotlight. Brody Thunder, it takes more than a backflip to take the curtain call. You'll get a crash course soon enough. "LOOP" wrestlers... Henry IV said "greatness knows itself". That goes for the IIWF and double for me. Shakespeare didn't just write comedies and love stories. I can introduce you too a gruesome tragedy or two... and your education is about to happen. This is one case of the best going after the best. I demand my pound of flesh. [He quickly exits. Moments later Spur, masked but in an overcoat, steps into the camera eye.] S: Hey, listen up! Don't turn off that camera. I know he fans have been missing Spur's brand of action recently... don't worry, I'm saving it all up for Ring Wars. And hey, Mr. Damage, I didn't need you then, I don't need you now. Wrong time, wrong place on again kangaroo boy. Everyone complains... no one does anything about it. Stetson, buddy, I haven't heard from you. Or are you another "all talk" type like Damage? [He reaches out and twists the focus on the camera then leaves as it is blurred.] ======================================================================= OAK ~~~ [Oak and The Cell are in the IIWF Interview Studio.] OAK: Patriot, I warned you about this man [he points at the Cell]. But you wouldn't listen. By telling the world how you weren't in fact injured in an incident very similar to the one that unfortunately put Mr Psycho out of wrestling for good, you just enraged this man. I tried to persuade him to leave you alone, but not even _I_ was going to get in his way last night. He was intent on finishing your career, Patriot. _That's_ why he asked Monster for help. I think we all know he could have done the job himself, but it's more fun with two isn't it Cell...? [The Cell nods his head.] OAK: Time for meditation. ======================================================================= W & W EXPRESS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ WAYNE: We've been in the IIWF for only a few weeks and we've seen alot of action. It is a war zone here. WATSON: High Plains Drifters, you guys have started something you can't finish. You want a war with the Express, you got one. We are going to kick that twerpy little manager of yours across town. Don't ever interfere with our matches. WAYNE: We'll take you punks on in any match you want. Taped Fist, that was too safe. How 'bout a cage? I know -- a scaffold match. Let's see if you cowboy freaks got guts. WATSON: You guys should just retire. Your glory days are long over. We are what's happening now. WAYNE: Another has-been team is the Armed Forces. They should be home, collecting checks from the government. If they represent the guys that defend our country, then everyone is in serious trouble. We might as well raise the white flags now. WATSON: Then we got all these "Loop" guys coming in here. The IIWF suits are all worried about this so-called invasion. They know that some of their priceless champions are being carried by wheeling and dealing in the front office. WAYNE: Where we come from, things are settled face to face in the ring. If these loop guys want at the IIWF so bad, sign em and see what happens. Let's see who truly is the best. 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