[Open with a montage of IIWF action accompanied by hard rock music. The final chord lingers as Derek and Shadoe Rage double-clothesline Barnacle Brother Bluto over the top rope. Suddenly, the screen explodes into a mass of fire and smoke, through which emerges the IIWF's familiar logo:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION ================================================= "COUNTDOWN TO SATURDAY NIGHT" - April 4, 1997 ================================================= [Cut to the IIWF Studio. The remote camera zooms down the aisle as members of the studio audience scramble to get on camera. Two young men wearing "Virginia Tech" t-shirts hold up a poster that reads "Casey is the ICON". An older man waves another poster which reads: "This Area is Now Kauffman-Free". Mistress Quickly, sitting next to Martina Navratilova, waves at the camera. And a familiar 200-pound woman in fishnet stockings wipes a tear from her eye and waves a homemade poster which reads, "Stetson, Baby, Come Back To Me." The camera zooms toward Larry Morton and Becky LaRue sitting at the broadcast desk.] LM: Hello again everyone and welcome once again to "Countdown to Saturday Night." I'm Larry Morton alongside my broadcast colleague Becky LaRue, and we're back in action after a restful week off. BL: Restful? What exactly did you do with your time off, Larry? LM: Why, I took the wife to picturesque Tennessee to see Rock City, riverboats, little fishes, and all sort of things. It was quite a... BL: I don't wanna hear about it. LM: Well, what did YOU did last week? BL: It involves the four major food groups, kitchen utensils, my houseboy Victor, and a horse named Gunther. Still wanna hear about it? LM: Ummm, no, not really. Let's move on because we have a lot to cover tonight. The fallout from Ring Wars III continues and the action is once again hot and heavy. And Becky, that's not a reference to Gunther... or Victor.. or any of your other friends. BL: At least I _have_ friends! LM: If you were watching "Inside the IIWF" on Tuesday, which just happens to be my favorite show each week... BL: Tim Dross is getting a bit stuck up since he got that personal assistant, Mr. Jimmy, isn't he? And what's with that little geek Summer? LM: I understand the suits are discussing making Steve a full-time member of the IIWF broadcast team. He's been an intern for awhile now. BL: That's because he hasn't learned anything. LM: Anyway, we heard a terrific interview -- albeit a tad long -- with Dan Kauffman, who lost his IIWF farewell match to Chris Quigley at Ring Wars III. It was a classic battle and Dan has certainly earned a rest. BL: He's probably trying to shake that dog Bosco off his leg. LM: [ignoring her] Kauffman is among several stars who have since left the IIWF. The Sandman, who was involved in that grueling Toronto Street Fight with Steve Kowalski, was reportedly disgusted by his performance at Ring Wars and immediately flew overseas. Rumors abound that he is enlisting the help of the Great Muta and Killer Kowalski. BL: Killer Kowalski. Is he related to Steve Kowalski? LM: I'm not sure, but with trainers like that, I'll bet the Sandman will be a totally different person when he returns. We also heard on Tuesday that the Alphabet Boys, American Patriot, and Stud Stetson are also gone -- apparently for good. [A loud wail comes from the 200-pound woman in the audience at the mention of Stetson's name. Becky yells at the woman.] BL: Honey, your best chance of getting a date is through Greenpeace. Now shut up, you fat broad! LM: Becky, please! Fortunately, we have some great new talent in the IIWF -- guys like Derek Mota and Duncan Macbeth. BL: You realize if Duncan Macbeth ever wrestles Billy Shakespeare that there will be a tear in the time-space continuum. LM: Uh-huh. And another great newcomer is Ike Sampson. I travelled to North Carolina last weekend for the signing of this young star: [SCENE: Fade in on the Adam's Mark hotel, one of the finest establishments in Winston-Salem, NC. The camera moves from the outside into the main lobby, where more than the usual amount of hustle and bustle is going on: obviously, something big is going on. The camera moves through the lobby into the Reynolds Ballroom, where a press conference has been set up. The camera pans the room, full of reporters, print and TV alike. It comes to rest on a sharp-dressed Larry Morton standing near the door, holding a microphone.] LM: Ladies and gentlemen, a historic event here in Winston-Salem, as we are about to witness the birth of something special. Right here, today, we see the launching of a new era in... [Larry is interrupted by a huge roar from the crowd gathered outside in the lobby. The chant starts up, "WE LIKE IKE", "WE LIKE IKE", as Ike Sampson enters the ballroom to a thunderous ovation. Ike is a large black man, built along the lines of Ice Train, with short hair and a beard. He is wearing nice khakis and a polo shirt, along with his ever-present sunglasses. He walks slowly through the crowd, slapping hands. He looks very serious, very determined. He works his way to the podium.] LM: As I was saying, today we are witnessing the dawn of a new era, as Ike Sampson is preparing to follow his bro-- [The crowd becomes deafening as Sampson reaches the podium. Morton begins to shout to be heard over the roar.] Ike Sampson is preparing to follow his legendary brother into the spotlight of big-time wrestling, as he is all set to sign a contract to enter the world-renowned IIWF! Let's get up to the "Big Dog" as he is about to make a statement. [The camera pans over to the podium, where Sampson is standing with a serious look on his face. Seated at a table to the left and right of him are various wrestling dignitaries, IIWF officials among them. VP Steve Owens sits in the chair closest to Sampson, who taps the microphone.] IKE: Is this thing on?!? [clears his throat.] Ladies and gentlemen, I've invited you all here today to let you know that just hours ago, I have inked a contract to be the newest superstar in the Double-I Double-U F! [big crowd pop] Veep Owens -- over here on my right -- [Owens gets a smattering of applause, which he acknowledges with a nod of his head] he's here in town to seal the deal. He got my name on the line, and it's official -- I'm headed for the big time! [huge crowd pop] I spent last weekend up in Toronto with IIWF Prez Spreadbury. We wined, we dined, we talked money. I sat in his skybox during Ring Wars III, and they even put me up in the Skydome hotel. They really know how to treat somebody. And, well, they put together a package no man in his right man could refuse. They want to make me the next superstar of the wrestling world! And hell, I ain't gonna try to stop 'em! We're gonna open it up for questions now. Ask the Big Dog anything. REPORTER: Ike, Jack Albert with Wrestling Digest. First, let me congratulate you on your new contract. I've followed your career for a long time, and let me be the first to wish you well in "the big show". IKE: Thanks, Jack. ALBERT: Now, you said you were at Ring Wars III this weekend. What were your impressions of that event? It's being called by some the greatest pay-per-view in history. IKE: It was a phenomenal event. Every match was highly competitive, and damned entertaining. I got to see many of the great names in wrestling--Mad Dog Watkins, Steve Kowalski, Lord Byron, Deathbringer, to name a few--it was a great time. Every match was outstanding. REPORTER: Ike, Jimmy Roberts with ESPN. You mentioned Mad Dog Watkins -- you'll remember him, of course, as the man who nearly ended your brother's career before it started, back in the old Independent Supercard days. Any fears that he'll want to pick that feud up again when you arrive in the IIWF? IKE: Well, I was hoping we could get through one interview without a mention of my brother. But, hey -- that was a long time ago. I'm not my brother, and he ain't me. I don't fight his battles, and I ain't asking him to fight mine. If Watkins wants to come after me, thinkin' he can get some kind of revenge on my brother -- then he's got another thing coming. He's got enough to worry about with Creed after him, anyway. [Good pop at the mention of the popular young star Creed.] This ain't about "Thunderbolt" Jack Sampson, this is about The Big Dog! [big pop] '97's gonna be the year I finally get out from under my big brother's shadow. He's his own man, and I'm damn sure my own man, and this year's my chance to prove it!! ALBERT: Ike, are you concerned about the recent trend towards hardcore rulebreaking in the IIWF? You're used to playing by the rules. How can you survive in such an environment? IKE: Let me say this in closing, Jack, 'cause I got a plane to catch. There may be a lot of nastiness going on over in the IIWF, but that don't scare me! They want to bend some rules, hell, I can do that, too. My fans may not approve of me doing that, but one thing we can all agree on: the ENDS justify the MEANS. Now I got a plan to catch. Thank you for comin' out, and we'll see you in the BIG SHOW! [Huge crowd pop as Ike leaves the podium, headed for his cab. The "We Like Ike" chant starts up again, even louder than before. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] BL: So Spreadbury gets the international trips to sign new wrestlers and Owens gets to go to Winston-Salem, the armpit of the world? I think I see a trend developing. LM: Hey, the VP brought back cigarettes for all the secretaries at the IIWF Towers. He even brought me back a Stuckey's pecan log. BL: [winking] I'll get my pecan log later. LM: I... uhh... I'm sure you will. Anyway, Ike Sampson was impressive in his debut Wednesday night. Let's run down all the action from the Wednesday War Room: ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ IIWF WEDNESDAY WAR ROOM RESULTS April 2, 1997 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DEREK MOTA def. MAURICE McARTHUR IKE SAMPSON def. BARNACLE BROTHER BLUTO DUNCAN MACBETH def. NED NORTON DEREK MOTA def. JUMPIN' JACK NIGHTWING def. BOBBY B. GOODE ARMED FORCES def. THE ROTUNDOS W & W EXPRESS def. G.W.R. TONY STARKS def. EL SUPER GECKO CREED def. THE CELL LM: No sooner had the dust from that great card settled than we had another disturbance at the IIWF Towers. BL: And what a shock to see that Steve Kowalski was involved. LM: That's right. He's been campaigning the IIWF President to allow him to compete in the IIWF's Cruiserweight Division. We've found this whole campaign of Kowalski's to be laughable because he is at least 20 pounds over the weight limit. BL: But the New Jersey Nightmare is a persistent little rascal and he decided to up the stakes earlier today here in the IIWF Towers: [SCENE: As always, the IIWF staff is hard at work preparing for another exciting week of wrestling action. No one works harder than the diligent president of the IIWF, Daniel Spreadbury, who is a strong believer of the "open door" policy and as it can be seen, his office door is open. Normally he employs this policy, so that any of his employees can come in and discuss their problems or ideas. And usually, it's a good idea. But not today. There is some sort of commotion out in the offices, people yelling and the sound of something heavy being dragged to his door. Spreadbury puts down his pen and prepares for the worst.] DS: I hope it isn't Deathbringer again. I refuse to allow him to drag that bodybag with the medical cadaver to the ring. The fines we had to pay in Nashville were too great. [If the president thought he had to deal with trouble, he was never more correct. The pugnacious form of Steve "The Fury" Kowalski comes strolling into the office, dragging an athletic scale right behind. Much to the president's dismay, the scale is scraping the floor in Kowalski's wake. The New Jersey Nightmare, wearing a brand new White Phoenix T-shirt, starts setting up the scale. With our favorite SOB is the old man, Oscar Smiles, one of the Fury's few buddies. The decrepit old man, puts on his spectacles and waits for the president to protest. The president always does.] DS: Kowalski, what the hell do you think you are doing? This is my office, not a wreck room for your pleasure. Who's this gentleman and _why_ is that scale in here? OS: I'm Oscar...Oscar Smiles. I used to be a former cut man for the New York Gaming Commission. You? DS: I'm the president of the IIWF, sir. And if you don't mind... SK: We don't mind, Danny. I jus' figured I'd do ya a favor. Ya can't say I ain't ever given back to the IIWF. DS: [sighs] What could you possibly do for me, Kowalski? Barring a lawsuit, of course. OS: Mind if I have a couple of these? [taking two cigars from the case] DS: Hey! Those are expensive, they're Cubans. OS: I bet they're proud of it too. I'm Dutch Irish myself. SK: I wanted to make it official. I've been cuttin' down, dietin'! I'm at 240 now an' can wrestle fer the cruisers. DS: What?! That's not possible. It was just two weeks ago that you were announced at 268 pounds. SK: They didn't change it yet. Y'know how it is, Spreads. The IIWF wants to make their guys look bigger than life. I dropped my weight to 252 fer the Ottawa slamdance. [BLEEP], do you really think that guy Rectum is that big? I seen 'em, he's really like 6'3 245. Me, I was a natch 268 an' really had to bust my ass to get to 240. I told everyone that I was gonna be going fer the cruisers. Now I'm eligible to wreck the little guys an' get a belt fer it. Is America great or what? OS: [puffing on a cigar] Amen to that, Fury. Have a stogie. SK: Thanks, old man. DS: This can't be happening. I suppose you brought the scale up here so I can make this an official weigh, there by allowing top to be in contention for the cruiserweight title as well. SK: Yer smarter than ya look, Danny. Ya read me like a copy of Penthouse Forum. Since I gotta be the #1 contender fer the IC and Heavyweight belts, by weighin' me in today, I become the #1 fer the cruiserweight belt. Ha ha ha. OS: Back in my day, we used to call it the "Streamline Strap". SK: I like that, [lighting up the cigar] Streamline Strap. Yeah sounds like music to me. DS: Let me explain something to you, Kowalski. Even though, I am empowered to sanction you to be eligible for the Cruiserweight title, I'm not. There are proper channels that have to be traversed first. Besides, I'm very busy with trying to set up the Saturday night show. OS: You don't know that half of it, buddy. Steve already thought of that. DS: What do you mean? SK: He means, I ain't wrestling in yer battle royal tomorrow if you don't give me an official weigh in right now. As far as I'm concerned, I have to be able to get all the belt 'fore I get in the ring. DS: You can't back out, now! I can't fill that spot last minute! We have commitments! All the other wrestlers are committed to other matches or at the smaller house shows! SK: And you wouldn't ask any of those punks to do double duty, would ya? Like ya begged me to do at Snow Brawl? I did three that night an' became the IC champ to boot. Ya owed me a favor fer months now, Danny. Time to pay up. All ya have to do is watch this official weigh in. An' if I make the weight, ya sign the release papers allowin' me to be eligible fer any strap. If I'm too heavy then I'll go through the proper channels. Stiff me now an' I'll pull from tomorrow night, [BLEEP]in' yer plans, big time! Yer on the clock, Danny. DS: [Nervously considering his actions. He looks at the Fury] There is no possible way you are 240 pounds or under, Kowalski. I'll give you your weigh in. Just don't complain to me when you are 25 pounds over. SK: Ha, ha. Okay. [The New Jersey Nightmare steps up on the scale, after taking everything off but his jeans. Oscar Smiles starts to balance the scale as President Spreadbury watches his every move.] OS: You look a little nervous there, Spreadbury. DS: I'm not nervous. You don't become president without taking a few risks in your ti... That cannot be right! He can't be 239 and 1/2 pounds! SK: I'll tell ya, that all beer am pretzel diet works. If ya don't believe me, get on yerself. DS: I will. [Climbing onto the scale] Ok, how much do I weigh? OS: Hmmm. 218 pounds. Getting a little round. DS: Hey, I gained a pound from last week. Damn sweet potato diet. SK: Sign the paper, Danny. I gotta get ready fer the match tomorrow. Ha ha ha. Y'know, us little guys hafta prepare fer anything, with all them big wrestlers runnin' 'round. Ha ha ha ha. DS: [Signing the paperwork and giving a copy to Kowalski] Here. I don't know how you did it, Kowalski, but I will get to the bottom of this. Until then, enjoy your time as a cruiserweight, it will be short. SK: Oh, I will. Ya just get the strap polished. Later, Danny. OS: [To Spreadbury] Kind of like getting screwed without a kiss, huh? DS: Get out of here. [Smiles and Kowalski laugh out loud as they stroll out of the office, dragging the scale with his powerful physique. After they are gone, "Soundbite" Steve Roberts pops in.] SR: Now _this_ could be a good scoop. Care to comment on the past event there, Prez? DS: GET OUT! SR: Ulp! [Bolting from the scene.] [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: So it appears that Kowalski _will_ be allowed to compete for the IIWF Cruiserweight Championship. Incredible. BL: If Kowalski is less than 250 pounds, I'm a virgin. LM: Uh, well said. Anyway, it looks like Kowalski will compete in the "Go For the Gold" Battle Royal tomorrow night, one of seven great matches coming your way from the IIWF Coliseum. Let's get right into our: ************************************************************************** --------------------- IIWF SATURDAY NIGHT PREVIEW ---------------------- ************************************************************************** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * IIWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: CASEY JAMES vs. CREED ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: I don't think it would be melodramatic to say that Creed could easily walk out of the IIWF Coliseum tomorrow night with the World Championship. BL: The only question about Creed could be his health after that brutal "Falls Count Anywhere" match at Ring Wars III. He and Mad Dog Watkins were both pounding each other. LM: There is certainly no doubting the rookie's record since he's been in the IIWF. He's unbeaten in his last 11 matches, including three no- contests, and hasn't lost since The Sandman defeated him on January 8. Creed not only avenged that loss, but has since beaten such notable stars as Lord Byron and Marty Warnett. BL: And it's worthy of note that Creed has never been pinned in the IIWF. He's certainly bringing a lot of confidence into this match: [SCENE: Wednesday Night. The IIWF Coliseum has long since emptied out - even Sparkplug Lee has finished practicing Saturday's ring introductions and has gone home. The only remnants of the Wednesday IIWF card are a few scattered programs... some crumpled Coca-Cola cups... a piece or two of unintentionally abandoned IIWF paraphernalia... ....and Creed. The red-gloved rookie sits on a stool, right in the middle of the ring where he devastated the monstrous Cell earlier that night - and where he will meet Casey James for the IIWF Heavyweight Championship on Saturday.] CREED: Hey Champ, you know it's comin', right? A guy who's been a lead dog 'round here as much as you gotta be able to tell when a real man is thumpin' at your door. Y'ain't dumb - champ. Give you that. Maybe it was when I beat up 12 guys on one IIWF Saturday Night... maybe then was when you first thought about it. Maybe it was when I put that Goodnight...Farewell...Amen on Byron.... you thinkin' 'bout it then, Champ? Maybe it was when I chokeslammed Warnett back to the stone age...or when I powerbombed Watkins off that outfield fence...when was it, Champ? When did you become convinced Creed was gonna wear that belt? Course, I could be wrong....maybe you and your Syndicate buddies been gettin' fat for so long off the reputations of some of the has beens who are takin' up space in the IIWF - that you damn forgot what a real man looks like. What a champion looks like. No matter to me, Champ. No matter at all. See - whether you been paying attention or not - my name is Creed... and I get what I want. And what I want, Champ - is you. It ain't nothin' personal. It's just business, _Champ_. See you Saturday. Bring my belt. [Creed stands up, places his black mouthguard back in his mouth, slings his black "Anyone...Anywhere...Anytime" t-shirt over his left shoulder and glares at the camera as the shot fades. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Wow, Creed actually seems to be bringing the most momentum into tomorrow's title match. BL: Perhaps, but Brian Lau and the Syndicate know a thing or two about snuffing out momentum. Creed had better keep his eyes on every side of the ring, because the Champ has friends in low places. LM: And Casey isn't taking Creed lightly. After escaping Ring Wars III with the belt, he knows the challenges will continue to mount: [SCENE: Casey works out in the weight room of the Dojo. He's busy doing some bench presses with a barbell sporting numerous huge weights, and he is sweating from the exertion. Casey is heard counting "29...30!" then puts the bar back on the supports. He sits up and looks at the camera.] CJ: Been a while since you've all seen me actually working out, huh? Well, that's because I've got to prepare myself for a big challenge. More on that in a bit, though. First I want to talk about Ring Wars. See, I told you all that I would beat the Psycho, and I did. Not officially, but psychologically. He was so messed up by the time the Syndicate was done with him that he had no chance of beating me, and he didn't. Hey, Psycho... how's the head? Getting hit with a cast can be pretty rough... Hehe... As far as I'm concerned, I was all too happy to let Tiger Claw get the DQ for me, just to see you crumple to the floor. Now you've got to deal with Claw, Psycho, and that's not going to be fun, believe me. Now, on to my next challenge. Most champions only seem to worry about their title defenses that occur on Pay Per View. I'm not sure why that is, but it happens. A lot of guys look at our weekly show as just another warm up, and they never expect to lose the title. Assumptions make us weak and lazy. You want proof? Look at Dan Kauffman. See, I'm not the type of champion to fall into that trap, though. I won my belt on a Saturday Night broadcast, so I know how the title can change hands at any time. Hell, it could even change hands on a Wednesday... Who knows? All it takes is for the champ to get lazy, and the challenger to be one hell of a fighter. Well, my challenger is one hell of a fighter. My challenger is Creed. Creed, you're a talented wrestler, I'll give you that. I watched that brawl you had with Watkins, and I was impressed. You dished it out, and you took your fair share as well. And the way you finished him off, well, it moved me. Reminded me of me, actually. All that aside, though... You and I are going to face each other in the ring on Saturday Night. Don't expect me to be lax, because I'm ready for you. I'm not underestimating you just because you're a newcomer. I'm prepared. Get ready for a good fight, Creed. I know I am. Now, I want to address Quigley. He had some pretty brave words on Wednesday Night, and they gave me a good laugh. Quigley, you don't get it, do you? Well, let me spell it out. See, Quigley, anything you can do, I can do better. What have you accomplished? Well, let me see. You make headlines wherever you go. Well, being the champ, and part of the most powerful stable in wrestling today, so do I. What else? Well, for sure the crowning achievement of your career is that you beat Dan Kauffman. Well, buddy boy, so have I. I made him bleed in the centre of the ring, and I took this belt from his waist. But there's one thing I've done that you haven't Chris... I've beat you. Twice. Have you ever beat yourself, Chris? No, don't answer that... Let me explain... See, Chris, I've had some losses. Actually, I've had quite a few. Yet I'm the champ. I don't dwell on those losses. I go on, and I defend the belt to the best of my ability despite the losses I've suffered. But you... You let those losses eat at you. See, with you, Quigley, second best isn't good enough. You've got to be number one. You talk and talk about being number one so much that you're starting to believe it, now. Now you're actually starting to believe that you can beat me. Tell me, Chris, what happens when it doesn't go that way? What will happen to you? Chris, many times in title defenses, the challenger pulls a surprise win because he's got nothing to lose and everything to gain. He lets out all the stops, not worrying about the repercussions. It's often that intensity that wins the title. This match will be different, Quigley. You've got something to lose. Your pride. If you lose to me, how does that make you look? You've talked and talked about how I'm nothing, and how you're infinitely better than me. What if you lost? You'd be crushed. You can't lose, Quigley. Your pride wouldn't be able to handle it. You've got everything to lose, Quigley, and I've got everything to gain. What is a gold belt compared to the pride and drive in a man's soul? If you win, you get a trophy. If I win, I've crushed a man as big as Chris Quigley. If you win, we both keep going on, you as the champ, me as the biggest badass this sport has seen. If I win, I'm still champ, and you are nothing, made so by your own words. Who's going to pull the win, Chris? Sure, you're talented, but the edge comes down to the size of the prize. I'm the one who stands to win the bigger prize, Chris. I hold your very life in my hands. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * IIWF UNITED STATES TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: THE HARLEQUINS vs. NIGHT PATROL ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: Night Patrol left Toronto as the first U.S. Tag Team Champions after defeating the Prophets of Rage -- not without a little bit of help from a certain red-headed broadcaster, I might add. BL: Hey, a Porsche is worth more than a few nice words. LM: So you're on Brenda Hawking's payroll too? BL: Nah, that was just a one-shot deal. My talents now go to the highest bidder. LM: I've heard that. Hahaha... ow, ow, ow! Stop that! It hurts! I'm sorry! BL: Next time, I pull out the clown pictures. LM: Okay, okay. Night Patrol will make their first defense against the Harlequins tomorrow night. What a win it would be for Chaos and Tragedy if they're able to spring the upset. BL: With those two looney chicks at ringside, there's no telling what could happen. But someone would have to physically remove Brenda Hawkings from ringside for Night Patrol to lose -- and we both know that ain't gonna happen. LM: We'll find out tomorrow night. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: EL SUPER GECKO vs. THE WHITE PHOENIX ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: What an opportunity this will be for the Lizard! Shinja Chow won the Cruiserweight belt from Takezo Musashi in that exciting Ladder Match at Ring Wars III and he's looked unbeatable of late. BL: Maybe so, but the Phoenix turned his back on Sun Tsi, who had a lot to do with Chow's new attitude. Without his daily caning, what kind of attitude will he bring to the Coliseum? LM: He'll certainly be the heavy favorite in tomorrow night's match, but the Gecko has proven that he is no pushover. BL: He's also no great interview. Check this out: [SCENE: The camera swoops around the IIWF ring and a solitary figure standing in the middle of the ring. As it finally stops, the figure of El Super Gecko in his colorful costume can be see. He has his arms crossed and stares directly into the camera as the shot zooms in close.] ESG: Shinja Chow... tomorrow night... hisssssssssss! [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * ESWP JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP TOURNAMENT MATCH (FIRST ROUND): BILLY SHAKESPEARE vs. TAKEZO MUSASHI ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: Other federations recognize top talent when they see it, and the ESWP wasted no time scouting the IIWF's stars. BL: ESWP? Isn't that the all-sports cable network? LM: No, but ESWP is all wrestling, all the time. Billy Shakespeare and Takezo Musashi will hook up in the first round of the ESWP Junior Heavyweight Championship Tournament in what should be a fast-paced aerial match. BL: That's what happened the first time these two runts met, with Shakespeare getting the win last year. The "Enigma" is older and wiser, but Shakespeare is still cocky: [SCENE: The old theatre. A set is dismantled, the lights hang in their riggings, sandbags sit in stacks. Reclining on one such pile is Billy Shakespeare.] BS: "Words, words, words." No sooner does one show close then another begins. New co-stars, new challengers to fill the spotlight. Where to begin? Act One...the ESWP. Enigma, this isn't our fed, nor our fight. But they made the mistake of inviting me in, so I've got to live my legacy and show what "Born to Perform" is all about. Sad that we must meet again this way, but the show must go on. Speaking of the show not going on, Act two: the Summit. The production may have folded, but you can't erase history. Casey James, thou blithering, slackjawed, lout. Think ye that you should have been there in my stead? Art thou addlebrained? You may have the title, but I have the spotlight. What you have is but one loss away, what I have is a gift that lives forever. Another "Comedy of Errors" from the land of Lau. Raise high the footlights, IIWF, it is time for the greatest show on earth... and Billy Shakespeare is the star. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Some feel that Takezo Musashi enters this match with something to prove after dropping the belt to Shinja Chow at Ring Wars III, but no one can question the heart and courage of the "Enigma". BL: You knew he was going to lose the belt sooner or ladder. Hehehe...snort! LM: Takezo Musashi sat down with our Tim Dross earlier this week to discuss his Ring Wars III match, as well as his battle tomorrow night against Billy Shakespeare: [SCENE: Backstage at the IIWF Coliseum; Takezo Musashi is seated with Tim Dross. The "Enigma" is dressed in street clothes without his traditional facepaint. The atmosphere appears relaxed and informal.] TD: Takezo, first of all, Ring Wars III played host to the very first ladder match in IIWF history, the titanic encounter in which you lost the Cruiserweight title to Shinja Chow. Your thoughts? TM: Well Tim, I feel the match was nothing but a success for me. I went out there in front of ninety thousand fans, I put my belt on the line against the worthiest opponent I could find, and I gave the fight of my life at the greatest wrestling event in history. The fact that Shinja Chow climbed that ladder faster than me is irrelevant. I never quit, and I fought like a true warrior. After the bell sounded I knew that for the first time I had given the fans, my opponent and myself, the best performance an athlete can give. So in that sense, Ring Wars III was a great success for me, and of course for Shinja Chow. It was a great moment in my life. TD: So you don't view this as a setback at all? You don't regret losing the belt? TM: Not at all. It would have been a disappointment if I lost the match because of outside interference, or because I didn't give it my all. I can honestly say that I put forth every ounce of energy and courage I could muster, and Shinja came right back at me. I lost to the better man fair and square; there is no dishonor in that. TD: So what's next in the career of the "Enigma"? TM: Well Tim, I feel that my potential is limitless. I feel that I could achieve any goal I set myself in the IIWF at this point. To tell you the truth, losing the Cruiserweight title has been a breath of fresh air in some respects. I defended that belt night after night against the best competition in the world; it was the longest title reign in IIWF history and I was getting real worn down. Now I feel rejuvenated and a world of possibilities lies ahead of me. Don't get me wrong, I miss that title; I miss the challenge, the blood, the sweat, the pressure of being the best, all of that... but there will be other championship reigns in my career. TD: So you don't want the chance to regain the belt? You don't want to do the dance with Chow again? TM: No. I feel that in life you've got to know when it's time to move on, when to forget the past and face fresh challenges. Otherwise you're going to stagnate, you're going to lose control of your destiny. Me and Chow did our thing at Ring Wars, we had our bad blood and we resolved it. Will we fight again? In all probability yes, but not in the near future. Shinja has his new title to worry about, and I wish him all the best. Now it's time for the "Enigma" to move on; I have my eye on a few other belts in the IIWF now. TD: There's been a few questions asked about some of the tactics you adopted during the match, some of them were a little.... TM: ...dishonorable? [Takezo smiles] Tim, I don't feel the need to make excuses or justify my actions. I did what I had to do during that bout. Some may call my actions a betrayal of what I espouse and believe in, but I do not consider it so. Who among the ranks of the IIWF knows what I truly believe in? The only one is the man sitting right in front of you; I am the "Enigma" after all... TD: Indeed. So how do things stand between you and the White Phoenix now? Are you friends once again? TM: Well, that is a difficult question to answer. I can forgive Shinja his betrayal of course, but at the same time it is impossible to forget what has happened between us. When Shinja broke free from Sun Tsi, that proved that he has what it takes to stand alone. That proved that he isn't just some puppet for somebody else's goals. He demonstrated that he was a man and he regained my respect. Ultimately, that means more than the fact that he renounced his rulebreaking, that he didn't finish me off after the bell, our friendship; all of that. TD: Okay, thanks for your time, Takezo. Before you go, do you have any words about your match with Billy Shakespeare tomorrow night? TM: That is one of the first round matches to crown the new ESWP Junior Heavyweight champion and I'm looking forward to it. The ESWP is a respectable league, not as prestigious as the IIWF maybe, but the talent roster is deep. But more than the new title I'm looking forward to locking up with Billy Shakespeare once again. Billy, you and me still have a score to settle. There is no bad blood in that score, but it IS a matter of professional pride. If you remember, Billy, you handed me my first ever defeat when I was still a green rookie in the IIWF. You're a tremendous competitor, Shakespeare, one of the best ever, but when we face each other once again you'll find out just how high the "Enigma" has flown since those early days. And for all the athletes in the IIWF out there, all the fans and all the little "Enigmas"; keep an eye on me in this match. The time has come for a new epoch, and a new "Enigma" to emerge from the ashes. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * TONY STARKS vs. OTTO VERHOEVEN ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ LM: The roots of this feud will clearly be traced to Ring Wars III, when Otto Verhoeven clearly wanted a piece of Tony Starks. BL: A piece? Verhoeven wanted to remove Starks in _pieces_ and send him back to the hospital. LM: Starks actually outlasted Verhoeven in the Wild Card match, but they'll have a chance to settle things one-on-one tomorrow night. The Staten Island Icon is eager to prove that he's 100 percent healthy and that he has Verhoeven's number: [SCENE: It is near midnight on a darkly lit Staten Island street corner, Starks can be seen talking on his cellular phone, leaning up against his Toyota Landcruiser. A number of Starks boys are just chillin around him talking amongst themselves and chilling. Starks finishes his cell call, the camera pans in on him] TS: Ayo, it's back to business as usual, for real. Otto "the Butcher" you are in for a beating that you will never forget. That is a real big name you got, you damn sure got a lot of ring monikers. "The Butcher" "The Teutonic Terror", those suits up in Portland make you sound real scary. I tell you what, where I come from, we don't need catchy little names to kick someone's teeth in. We just do it. I know about your rep, you got a lot of juice, and you ruled the IIWF and crunched for a while but, you know what, son? You have never faced me in the ring. At Ring Wars III you got a little taste. And this Saturday night, you are going to get it all. It is damn good for you that you run with a nurse at your side, she can take you down to the hospital after I am done with you. You think you got a pushover in me, since I have been out for a while. Go ahead, keep on thinking that. You are going to see what's up. I know you are one of the toughest, strongest men in this fed, that's good. I like taking on the best. All that time I spent in the hospital, I had a lot of time to think. And the one thing I kept on seeing every time I closed my eyes was that damn belt I never got. That is what has driven me to come back, and if I have got to go through you on my way, so be it. This is to all of the IIWF: I ain't pretty, I'm not flashy, I just bring hell to the ring with me. Anyone wants to try me, bring it on boys, get ready for hell. For real. [One of Starks' boys slaps his hand and agrees with him, and they all get into the landcruiser and drive off. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: That's a confident Tony Starks. BL: But Starks never got his hands on something Verhoeven wore proudly last Fall -- the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship. That title alone makes Verhoeven the favorite tomorrow night. LM: There is no doubting that "The Butcher" is a tough customer... and he seems to be giving tomorrow's match, or at least tomorrow's opponent, some special consideration: [SCENE: Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven, wearing a grey, stained muscle-shirt and black shorts, is working out at the gym in the basement of the German embassy. He is lifting a barbell with his right arm repeatedly, without a strain on his face. He smirks arrogantly when he looks at the camera.] OV: Ah, finally. What took you so long? [Verhoeven shrugs] Bah, but what can you expect from lazy Americans. Whatever. On Saturday night, Tony Starks will receive a hearty "welcome back", and it will be a special "Butcher-style" treatment. You know, Starks has chosen the wrong opponent for his first few appearances. I guess that poor street thug is not familiar with some of the new rules in IIWF. One of them is: Do _not_ mess with Otto Verhoeven! And that counts double if you are a puny wimp who tries to win his matches with some armdrags and restholds. [Verhoeven puts down the weight and wipes some sweat of his brow with the back of his hand.] You may think that you are tough, Starks, you may think that a pure submission wrestler stands a chance against the premium German wrestler, you may even think that I won't crush you like an insect, but, I hate to say this, you are plain wrong, and when you step into the ring with me you will found out the truth. I can assure you that you won't like it. You see, many of my maneuvers target the back of my opponent . I am already looking forward to hear you scream out loud in pain when I whirl you around and smash you down with a powerslam, when I raise you high into the air and send you onto the mat with a powerbomb and when I hit you with the dreaded and devastating Slaughterslam ... [He points to something behind the cameraman. The cameraman slowly turns to show Nurse Heidi, wearing her usual attire. She pushes a wheelchair into the gym. The voice of Verhoeven can still be heard.] OV: ...you will be just another victim. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ * IIWF "GO FOR THE GOLD" BATTLE ROYAL ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 1. Subway Psycho 11. Marty Warnett 2. "Sychosys" Joe Petrow 12. Serge Annis 3. Chris Quigley 13. Mr. Damage 4. "Real Deal" Luke Steele 14. "Badboy" Randy Acorn 5. Ronnie Paris 15. Cheshire 6. Tiger Claw 16. Steve "the Fury" Kowalski 7. Derek Mota 17. Mad Dog Watkins 8. "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder 18. Dirt Dog Unique Allah 9. Requiem 19. Nightwing 10. Deathbringer 20. Spur LM: Twenty men will enter the ring tomorrow night, but only one man will earn the right to "Go For the Gold" in the Gauntlet Challenge. BL: We do love our battle royals, don't we? But this one really leads up to something exciting. Whoever wins will have the chance to meet the three singles champions in successive weeks. Three successive wins and that wrestler has the chance to win any belt for which he qualifies in a multiple-wrestler match. It's a longshot, but one worth taking for twenty of the IIWF's stars. LM: And you have to throw conventional battle royal wisdom out the window tomorrow night because many of these competitors have individual scores to settle. As these wrestlers enter the ring one at a time, Lethal Lottery style, the odds could overwhelm any wrestler. If Ronnie Paris is caught in the ring with Otto Verhoeven and Luke Steele, his chances won't be very good. On the other hand, Steele could be caught between Paris and Tony Starks. BL: You can throw the rulebook out for this match because these guys will be brawling. The favorite has to come from the later entries, but no one knows who they will be until the match is underway. There's a lot of suspense to this event. LM: Indeed. Several of the participants had comments about the "Go For the Gold" Battle Royal, so let's get right to it. The Subway Psycho makes no bones about his mission tomorrow night. Even if he doesn't win the event, he'll hope to settle his score with Tiger Claw. BL: Hehe, Claw really stuck it to the Stinker at Ring Wars III. LM: But tomorrow... they could both be in the ring together: [SCENE: A dark chasm deep beneath the streets of the city. The roar of trains overhead break the eerie silence from time to time. The camera zooms into find a makeshift wrestling ring. At each turnbuckle is a torch, providing the only light. Pacing, circling in the ring is the Subway Psycho.] SP: People keep asking me what was I thinking? How could I of all people trust Tiger Claw? How could I fall for a trick of the Syndicate? Well, I'll tell you... I was not totally oblivious to the idea of Claw turning on me. But it was a calculated risk... and a risk much less greater than the risk Claw has taken! The way I saw it that Claw could either be truthful with me, or he could roll the dice and stab me in the back. HE KNOWS DAMN WELL WHAT HE'S GOTTEN HIMSELF INTO! He knew that going in. Did I ever think he was stupid enough to bring out the full fury in me onto himself... no, I guess that was my oversight. Claw's oversight will now be his undoing... HE IS A WALKING CARCASS! Claw, you like to play the part of a cripple? You like to walk around on crutches? How about I fix it so you don't have to pretend? I won't rest until you have to eat out of a straw and [BLEEP] into a bedpan. Consider your career over you [BLEEP]ing [BLEEP]! YOU WANTED A PARTNERSHIP... YOU GOT ONE... YOU AND ME FROM NOW ON ARE TWO SIDES OF ONE COIN! It will be I who ends up on top while I'm kicking your tail. One of us will have to die to end this... there's no undoing this... there's no changing what has been done, or what is yet to come. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: The "People's Champion" is ready to do some damage in the battle royal -- and I think it may be Tiger Claw on the receiving end. BL: Tiger Claw can take care of himself. It would be just like the Psycho to try to get both of his friends to gang up on Claw. LM: BOTH of his friends? BL: Okay, his ONLY friend... whoever that may be. At least Tiger Claw has a plan to take care of the Stinker one-on-one: [SCENE: Brian Lau stands closest to the camera as Tiger Claw works on a heavy bag in the background. A trainer watches Claw throw some hard knees into the bag, and nods with satisfaction. Brian turns and begins to speak.] BL: Back to spring training, eh? Being who we are, the Syndicate must always be on their toes. Especially after Ring Wars, where it would seem that each of us has more than one enemy. Claw is readying himself for the Subway Psycho. It is inevitable that these two will clash again. In the past, their battles were long and brutal, but rarely in the ring. This time, that will be different. [Claw stops working on the bag and turns to the camera.] TC: Psycho, the feeling I had when I knocked you unconscious with that cast was exhilarating. The sight of you slumping to the floor made me laugh for days. The thought of you sitting in your hole for the following week, touching the sensitive part on your head and jaw and wincing, made me warm inside. Guess what, Psycho? I want to feel that again. [Claw holds his hands up. They are wrapped in a canvas-like fabric, stained red and black from long use.] I think you know what I want, Psycho. The IIWF has seen the match I want before, and you interfered in it. In pursuit of my first IC title reign, I challenged Hakiro Matsuoko to a wrapped fist match, but before I could beat him, you came to the ring and attacked me. Now I want you in that match. I want to beat you on my terms. BL: It's simple. Hands wrapped the same way Tiger Claw has his wrapped now. Rounds of three minutes each until someone is knocked out for a 10 count. One minute in between each round. Bring a corner man, Psycho, because you'll need the help in those middle minutes to regain strength. There will be a winner, Psycho, but only after a very bloody match. Fists, when taped properly, are as hard as stone, and Tiger Claw's fists, when taped properly, are lethal. TC: I'll spill your blood, Psycho. BL: Now we must concentrate on the Battle Royal this Saturday. You want the gold, don't you, Claw? TC: I've held the IC title three times. I want it again. That belt is mine, no matter who holds it, but I would feel better once I could get it again. This is the perfect opportunity for me to get back in contention for that title. There are 19 other men that are thinking the same thing, and I must get through them all. The Psycho is in that match. He will be the first man I eliminate. BL: Remember, though, that Brody Thunder is also in that match. He is part of our team. We are on friendly terms. I have agreed that the two of you shall work together, so as to have an advantage over the 18 other single men. TC: So be it. But if it comes down to you and I, Thunder, I'm afraid that I'm going to have to look out for myself. We've had some good battles in the past, eh? perhaps we can have one more after we've gotten rid of everyone else BL: Enough talk. Back to training, Claw... There is much we have to prepare for. [Claw goes back to working on the bag as the shot fades. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Brian Lau raised an interesting point in that interview, Becky. Friends -- or colleagues in the case of Thunder and Claw -- could be vying for the win tomorrow night. BL: The only friends in a battle royal are the ones who help you eliminate someone. Then you try to kick that guy's butt. Plain and simple. LM: One thing is certain: Brody Thunder is ready to finally wear a IIWF title belt... and he won't let even Tiger Claw stand in his way: [SCENE: A worm's eye view of a silhouetted figure leaning on a porch post. Behind him, a fiery red sunset paints the sky. The camera slowly pans in closer as the figure begins to speak.] [long inhale] BT: ...Can ya smell it? [again a long inhale] ...Yup...change is in the air. Ring Wars is over. No excuses. No lookin' back. It's time ta be movin' on. An' that's exactly what I plan on doin'. [The darkened figure's face becomes illuminated by a match he ignites as he lights a cigar, revealing the rugged face of Brody Thunder.] When I came ta the IIWF I said I was here for two reasons an' two reasons only... money.... an' championships. Well I've been on the winner's end o' the purse more often than not. An' I've made more'n my share o' dead presidents since I got here. So that jus' leaves the second reason. Championships. In this sport that's how a man's success is measured... by the gold around his waist.Well mine's been bare fer far too long. An' I see the Intercontinental strap is ripe fer the takin'. I know that the so-called IC "champions" have been more'n glad ta let Brody Thunder soften 'em up fer them... free o' charge. Well, champs... ...the gravy train jus' made it's last stop. From here on out I'm takin' aim at those wrestlers who are ranked in the top ten. That's right... you boys jus' got a target on yer back. Nuthin' personal... yer jus' in the way o' my destiny. An' when I get my shot at that IC belt, no matter who's rentin' it, an' I'm gonna take it an' put it where it rightfully belongs... ...'round my waist. Make no mistake about it, folks. [Thunder looks to the sky as if in search of something.] The winds o' fortune are changin'... an' it starts with a new focus. It starts with a new direction. It starts with a new attitude. It starts tomorrow night. [He walks to a small campfire which lights up the area.] Tomorrow night the IIWF has delivered to me the means ta prove I am exactly what I say I am... the best wrestler in this sport today. Nineteen o' their best are gonna be in that ring... an' only one man is gonna get his hand raised. I plan on bein' that man. Hell, half o' them I could beat in my sleep an' the other half don't deserve ta be in the same ring with me. I'll take care o' that tomorrow night. Far as I'm concerned they'll hafta drag my carcass outta there DEAD, before I'll leave that ring... plain an' simple. So boys... ...bring all ya got ta the ring... ...don't leave anything in the back... ...cuz yer lookin' at the man who will be the next Intercontinental champion before all is said an' done. That ain't a threat. It ain't a promise. It ain't a wish. [Thunder pushes back his black cowboy hat.] It's a fact. Don't believe it? Watch me. [He drops the cigar to the ground and stamps it out with his foot. He then slowly turns to walk back to the porch.] An' one other thing... [He turns back to the camera.] Dog... ...we ain't finished yet, son. Nuthin's been settled in our little game. Score's even at one apiece an' I ain't never been much fer ties. S'kinda like kissin' yer sister... no satisfaction. Well I'm gonna get me some satisfaction my friend, if it means gettin' Spreadbury ta clear the buildin', turn out the lights an' fight ya in the dark... I DON'T CARE. We're gonna meet again real soon... an' next time when that bell rings it won't jus' be the end o' the match... [Camera gets a tight close up of Thunder's face as an eerie grin flashes across it.] ...it'll be the end o' yer career. See ya soon. [The shot fades to black as the roar of thunder rumbles in the distance. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Wow, Brody Thunder made more than a passing threat to Mad Dog Watkins right there. BL: Sure, but Watkins still isn't 100 percent. The bruises and cuts are healing, but he still wears a cast on his forearm, courtesy of Creed at Ring Wars III. Right off the outfield wall... BOOM! Fifteen feet to the concrete! LM: Yes, I was there. I remember. But don't think a man like Mad Dog Watkins will be hindered by a broken arm. Give him a hard plaster cast and it's like giving him a pair of brass knuckles. BL: Hey Brody Thunder, is that plaster on your face or are you just happy to see me? Hehe... snort! LM: After everything he has been through in the past two weeks, be certain that Mad Dog Watkins will take no prisoners tomorrow night: [SCENE: Open up with footage titled "March 25, 1997", showing a busy corridor in a hospital in downtown Toronto. Everywhere you look, the hall bustles with life and activity. Several orderlies rush past the camera and quickly hit the second door up on the right, a room from which quite a commotion seems to be stirring. The camera quickly picks up the pace and follows the orderlies into the room, where the two men have quickly grabbed the patient, Mad Dog Watkins, who has just tried to get out of bed in an angry fit of frustration.] NURSE: Please Mr. Watkins! Just lay back down into bed. You are still in no shape to leave this hospital! MDW: [struggling against the restraining force of the orderlies] DO NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO! NURSE: I am only telling you what is in your best interest. Test results show that your concussion is still very serious, and after your dizzy spell this morning, we cannot take any chances. MDW: I swear woman...I don't give a damn. I'm sick of lying in this bed - HEY [to the orderly on his left] GET YOUR [BLEEP]ING HANDS OFF OF ME! I'M GOING TO SHOVE THIS CAST SO FAR UP YOUR... [Suddenly, Watkins slumps in the arms of the orderlies, and the nurse quickly rushes to his side as Watkins is placed back on the hospital bed.] NURSE: Damn. I knew this was going to happen. Check his pulse... MDW: [groggily] kick...your... NURSE: He can't push it. Injuries like his just take time to heal. If he wasn't so stubborn, he wouldn't be in the shape he is now... [The scene switches to footage of a darkened IIWF Coliseum where a lone figure sits on the ring apron of the ring. As the camera focuses in, the words "Earlier Today" appear in the top right corner of the screen. The closer the camera gets, the more apparent it becomes that the figure is of Mad Dog Watkins who sits silently, with his head hung low. He is dressed in an old maroon sweatshirt with the hood pulled up over his bald head and what appears to be a fresh cast sticks out conspicuously from the shirt's left sleeve. Watkins slowly raises his head, revealing a face that shows the fading signs of swelling around the eyes. After a short pause, he begins to speak in his low, gravely voice.] MDW: I bet everyone of you out there liked that footage, didn't you? Spreadbury sent his boys to check up on Mad Dog - try to get some footage of me while I was down and out. Maybe to get a little promo footage to put on that highlight reel of Creed's that seems to be building... But you know what? I ain't mad at ya, Danny Boy. Hell, I ain't even mad at Creed. Pup handed me my lunch, and it's only fair to show it. For every time I hit him, he hit me twice as hard. I guess rage does that to a man. But I hope you enjoyed it Creed, 'cuz anger like that is hard to maintain... intensity like that is reached only once in a lifetime. And just think... it took me to bring out the best - AND WORST - in you. And you needed it all to beat me. I guarantee you won't be able to do it again. And just think...you didn't learn a damn thing. You beat me 'cuz you wished I WAS your daddy -- then you'd have a reason for hating the way you do. But you still haven't learned a thing. You should have learned that Mad Dog doesn't talk, 'specially where it's not his place. I might hold the key to you finally quieting your rage, but you'll never know. [Mad Dog hops up unto the apron, and steps through the ring ropes. He walks around for a moment, and then slams his casted left hand down on the turnbuckle.] But Creed is the past and I've got 19 men in my future. Twenty man over the top rope battle royal for a chance to run the gauntlet. Twenty men beating the living hell of of each other, all for a shot at the gold. A shot that was robbed from me when I got powerbombed off of the fence to the cold, hard cement. So instead of facing James, I get to step into the battle royal -- and you know what? I like it. I've never been handed anything in my life, and that's the way this old dog prefers it. I'd rather walk to lonely road filled with hard times and pain, because that's where the satisfaction comes from. When you finally reach your goal, you'll find out that it's not all it's cracked up to be; that maybe in reaching your goal you, learned more on the way than when you actually got there. [Mad Dog slumps over the turnbuckle and stares into the camera.] And you can trust me when I say I'm going to get there. But first, I've got nineteen suckers to whoop up on, and that's gonna just make my day. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: When you talk about favorites in a match like this, you have to take past matches into account. BL: And you need not go back any further than Ring Wars III for Mr. Damage. He delivered a pretty good case of whoop-ass on Ronnie Paris' team and won the Wild Card match for Team Verhoeven in Toronto. LM: And Mr. Damage is counting on that victory to propel him into tomorrow night's battle royal: [SCENE: Mr. Damage at home by the pool in a Banana Lounge.] MD: As most of you ignorant morons out there in TV land would probably be aware, a week or so back I had the biggest win of my career, in front of all those screaming idiots at the Skydome where me and my teammates of Otto Verhoeven, Real Deal Luke Steele and The Hangman defeated Tony Sparks, Ronnie Paris, Badboy Randy Acorn and the Cell. This win made me so happy I had the police come round because it was illegal! [grins] I did what I had to do to win this match, I buried the hatchet with Luke Steele. Luke Steele, I decided to end it that night for the good of the team, if you don't step on my toes anymore I will not step on yours. I will say no more on the matter. I dropped not one but two Thunderstruck Leg Drops on Bad Boy Randy Acorn and Tony Sparks. To notch up a win that I will always remember forever and ever. Did I go to a pub and celebrate? NO! Did I rub shoulders with the snotty-nosed Rich and Famous? NO! I went straight to the gym for preparation of my next match. You see it's all part of the grand plan. If you remember I made some New Years Resolutions, one of them was I was going to lift my intensity up a few notches. Because of this I am undefeated so far this year. The other is that I am going to wear some GOLD around my waist. Now I can see my calling: it's called the GO FOR GOLD Battle Royal. I go into this "Go for Gold" Battle Royal as a favourite. Being favorite is something I have never been before as I have always been the underdog, but that's not to say that I do not have faith in my own ability, I know that I can beat the 19 other men in the ring. Let's just see what talent we have in here [he picks up a newspaper and picks a few names at random] "Ronnie Paris" always a pleasure beating you up, "Marty Warnett" a former IC Champion who just can't cut the mustard anymore! By the way, my congratulations to "Lord Byron" for beating that indignant Welshman!, "Steve "the Fury" Kowalski" a respected former nemesis who never beat me! "Deathbringer" I met him just after I debuted and still a bit green, a week later he was World Champ. This time I have a chance to kick his ass. And finally someone who is definitely below the standard of those I previously mentioned "Spur". Spur you are not making many friends around here. You have attacked me, Ronnie Paris and Nightwing and god knows who else. Your comeuppance is due! Saturday night you walk into the ring with all three of us and we will gladly take turns beating you up! You will soon learn, Spur, that you shouldn't bite off more than you can chew. So as we go forth to Saturday Night I get more and more focused on the job at hand, I am totally prepared for the outcome on Saturday Night as I know that the "Guns of Navarone" [flexes biceps] will be held up in Victory. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: In addition to past performances, you always have to consider the "intangibles" in an event like this. BL: And no one in the IIWF is more intangible than Spur. LM: The man has created holy havoc since his arrival, seeming to care less about wins and losses than antagonizing other wrestlers. BL: He takes opponents out of their game plans and wins the mind games from the start. I don't know if that will work in a battle royal, but it's pretty clear which opponent Spur will target: [SCENE: Spur stands before a discount movie theatre. On the marquee, under the logo "Second Run", is the listing for the evening's film: FORGET PARIS.] SPUR: Yeah. That's about right. Time to punch that ticket. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Spur is a man of few words, but he lets his actions speak for him. BL: And Ronnie Paris is going to learn that actions sometimes speak louder than words if Spur gets hold of him tomorrow night. LM: Ronnie Paris is an outstanding third-generation wrestler. He can take care of himself: [SCENE: Steve Summer is standing on the steps leading down to Ronnie Paris' gym in El Paso, Texas. He points down, and after a short pause the shot follows his finger down to the wrestling mats, where Paris is alone doing push-ups. Summer walks down to the mat and calls out rather loudly.] SS: Hey, Ronnie! Just thought I'd ask a few questions. [Paris gets up, looking annoyed. He barely even acknowledges Summer, just stands beside him and waits. There is a nervous pause.] RP: Get on with it... SS: Right. Well, we haven't seen you since Ring Wars III, which really rocked by the way! [Paris shoots a glance at Summer, and he calms down again.] You declined to comment on Monday Musings, so what's the deal? How did you feel about Ring Wars, and why haven't you been talking about it? RP: I lost at Ring Wars, what the hell do you expect me to say about it? That I enjoyed it? I didn't go to Toronto to lose... SS: There are some people who say you cost your team the match by... RP: [interrupting] I lost. Period. If anyone cared about your speculation, you'd have a real job instead of coming down here every week and bothering me. [Summer seems quite a bit taken aback, and he struggles to find his voice.] SS: Well I... that is... RP: Stuff it. No one pays to hear you yak, and at the rate things are going with my career no one pays to see me wrestle. I for one intend to change that, and you aren't helping. You obviously knew how to invite yourself in here, so why don't you invite yourself the [BLEEP] out? [An absolutely stunned Summer starts towards the steps again, looking back in shock every now and again.] RP: Get lost, I'm trying to practice! [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Ronnie... uh, seemed to be a little moody in that clip. BL: You'd think the guy would get a Saturday win under his belt before copping an attitude. LM: Well, speaking of attitude, Joe Petrow made another appearance in Portland earlier this week. We feared Petrow had planned to retire or do something even worse at Ring Wars III, but it appears his "Sychopathic" fans have given him a new lease on life. BL: So few of us have such dedicated fans: ["Sychosys" Joe Petrow is seen walking out of his downtown Portland studio apartment. He is wearing a grey jogging outfit, and holding an egg in his right hand. He walks halfway down the steps, then sighs, and turns to look at the camera.] JP: There are so many things I'd like to say to my Sychopaths right now. But there's one thing I gotta say before anything else. Don't you ever believe anything you hear about me, unless you hear it from me! So Dross got word I was retiring, huh? I guess something got lost in the translation. Yeah, I was planning on retiring all right. Retiring to the good ship Hale-Bopp! I was going to take out Unique Allah and myself in a moment so spectacular that the Sychopaths around the world would have a memory to guide them the rest of their days. But then the Sychopaths spoke! One in particular, the rest in unison. And I heard their voice. I heard them say we don't want the damn memories, because you haven't done a damned thing for us yet! Quit wasting our time with your pointless feuds and selfishness and DO SOMETHING, DAMMIT! My friends, you made your point loud and clear. To you and you alone, I apologize for losing the way. But the path is clear now! It's a long, brutal, dangerous path, through every man in the IIWF, from the battle royale, to the gauntlet, to the Holy Grail itself. But I see it! I know you want it, and now I want it too! And I thank you for keeping your focus, even when I lost mine! So how can I thank you and prepare for this journey at the same time? [Joe cracks the egg on the guard rail, picks it up, and drinks the yolk as it falls into his mouth. He wipes off his mouth, chucks the shells to the grass...and starts to run, as the theme from Rocky begins to play... Joe runs through the subdivision... across a street... through another neighborhood... and through a park. Some older kids and young adults notice him and say, "Hey, it's Sychosys!" They see him running, and begin to tag along. The pack has increased to about eight people, as they run down a main street. Sychosys beckons them with his hand, and they make a turn and head toward... the Waffle House! Cut to a shot of Tim Dross eating a hearty breakfast. Suddenly, the Sychopack descend upon him! Joe reaches in and grabs a waffle with his bare hands, and the rest of the group follows suit! Dross tries valiantly to fend them off with his fork, but to no avail. The Sychopack has become nearly 15 strong, as they continue running down the street. Suddenly, Petrow leads them into a local 7-Eleven. They all swarm upon the drink section, and ransack all kinds of canned beverages. Petrow himself grabs a can of "Mooselips" beer. He throws a few bills at the cashier, and they are off again. Now more than twenty of them are running down the street. As if he could hear the denouement of the song playing, Petrow begins to pull away from the pack. Someone screams "GO! GO! GOOOO!" But one girl actually starts running faster than Petrow! She catches up to him and is about to pass him! But Sychosys grabs hold of her mid-length black hair, and throws her to the ground! A man stops and screams, "NO! ADRIAN!!!" while the rest of the pack moves on. Petrow is tiring, but is suddenly renewed when he sees that his destination is in sight. He pushes himself harder, and heads for the Portland City Hall. Cut to a shot from the top of the City Hall itself. Petrow is getting closer and closer. Suddenly, he is upon it! He bounds up the eight steps in two leaps, and he has reached his goal! He pauses for a second to gather himself, then turns around and pumps his fists into the air! The rest of the Sychopack has caught up! All of them open up their well shaken canned beverages, and begin spraying Sychosys and each other! As the song wraps up, cut to a slow-motion close up shot of a soggy Sychosys, pouring his own Mooselips beer over his head, in the midst of his supporters. The song ends, and the screen pauses to a shot of Sychosys with a huge triumphant smile on his face. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: [dumbfounded] It... ummmm... it appears... Joe Petrow is still with us. BL: I'm not sure he was ever "with us", but it appears he is still wrestling in the IIWF. LM: The more things change, the more they stay the same. BL: CLEAN UP ON AISLE SEVEN! LM: Huh? BL: Nothing. LM: Okay. Petrow's opponent at Ring Wars III, Dirt Dog Unique Allah, seemingly earned the respect of "Sychosys" in Toronto. And the Dirt Dog could earn a lot more respect by winning the battle royal tomorrow night. BL: I'm just not sure this match is to his liking though: [SCENE: Dirt Dog Unique Allah watches a Colosseum video of the 1997 Royal Rumble, oohing and awing at the performance of Steve Austin. Medusa sits next to him, smiling and taking notes.] MR: That's the attitude you've got to have, Unique. I want you mad dog mean. Just throw them out as soon as they get in the ring. DDUA: I need a drink. That's lookin' a little rough. Medusa, girl, this is some serious sh... I mean looks like a lot crazy muhfuhs just throwin' theyselves around. I don't like the looks of that. What the hell is so royal about this? I don't see no kings in there. Oops, I spoke wrong. There's that Lawler dude. He's a real cool guy if he don't run into no thirteen year kitty, you know? MR: Forget about that. Unique, watch this. Get a feel for it. I want you to know exactly what you're in for. They'll be attacking at all angles. You'll need eyes in the back of your head. DDUA: Ah damn, then i'm sunk then. I don't got no eyes in the back of my head! No, I don't wanna do this, 'dusa! I wanna be a good l'il doggy and fight people one on one. That's what I'll do, too. I insist that this'll be a regular match. I'll pin 'em one at a time. Yeah, that's the way I gotta do it. Maybe I can stack 'em up and just pin 'em that way? What you think, 'dusa? [Medusa just holds her head and shakes it.] MR: Unique, [sigh] let's go over this concept one more time. All right? [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: I know it's difficult to pick favorites in a match like this, but I'm picking Marty Warnett. He knows what it takes to wear the gold and he has the stamina to outlast nineteen other men, if necessary. BL: Yeah, just toss a six-pack in the middle of the ring and watch him fight for it. What a booze hound. LM: Marty loves his parties, but don't underestimate his training routine. Tim Dross learned that first-hand this week: [SCENE: Marty Warnett is running across a sandy beach, the sea sweeping across the glistening grains rhythmically. It's early in the morning, the purple haze of dawn ringing in the new day. Marty's dressed in a grey tracksuit, with a backwards facing IIWF baseball cap. Cut to a shot of Tim Dross, yawning. Marty then veers across to greet Dross.] TD: Marty, what's [yawn] the deal with getting up so [yawn] early? MW: Well, Timmy, you may be getting up, some of us are winding down from last night's diversions. It's kinda the LaRue aerobics session. Seriously, sand provides a hack of a lot of resistance to run in, it helps build up the leg muscles. TD: You [yawn] seem incredibly upbeat after Ring [yawn] Wars III. MW: Well, Dross, life is a metaphysical analogy based upon the illusion of time as a concept of measurement of sociopathic disillusionment, based upon social precepts and constraints in a biological, polymorphic social anthropological norm. TD: [yawn] Eh? MW: Basically, why look for answers, just live, Dross. Yes, I was set up. And yes, I learn from my mistakes. And yes, I will hold gold again in the IIWF, as this Gauntlet concept gives me the ideal opportunity to gain title shots. If I was content to sit around moaning about outside interference, I'd change my name to Chris. TD: Why [yawn] not ask Byron for a return shot? MW: Because, Dross, there are many top challengers for the Intercontinental title. For me or anybody to hog the shots is to deny others there opportunity to try to take the belt to the heights I did. regardless of all that happened, Dross, I gave that title the high status it now has. Whilst James and the Syndicate are content to keep as low a profile as possible, what was the talk of the IIWF before and during Ring Wars III? Myself and Byron. As for the Gauntlet, well, I gained a title shot from a Battle Royal, so I've got to be up there as one of the favorites. No question. I've already pinned Casey James. I've proven to be the better wrestler than Byron, hence his cultured cane use. I'm too heavy to contend for the Cruiserweight title, so... TD: [yawn] And of course, your record [yawn] unbroken streak has gone? MW: Dross, I'm not some anorak freak, concerned with statistics. Yes, I was unbeaten seven, eight matches. And yes, Creed is impressive. Look at the quality of opponents, I've always faced the best. And yes, Creed has pinned me. The difference between us? I evolve. I develop every day in every way. Creed uses power, I can switch between styles whenever. But hey, I've even got a new setup move. It's called the Powerchord. Just to keep you in suspenders, Dross, I'll unveil it soon - it's inappropriate for a Battle Royal, though. Anyways, gotta get back to my run, alcohol to sweat out and all that. [Marty turns and sprints away, as Dross rubs sleep from his eyes and yawns. Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: Wow, Marty Warnett has a new move. BL: I hear he changes setup moves more often than pickup lines. "Hey, little girl, what time do you get out of school?" just wasn't working for him any longer. BWAHAHA... snort! LM: You don't like Marty, do you? BL: Nonsense. I kid because I care. LM: [skeptically] Uhhhh-huh. Moving on, it would be hard to discount Requiem from the favorites in the battle royal. BL: He proved he can stand ethereal toe-to-toe with Deathbringer at Ring Wars III, which means Requiem can stand with anyone in the IIWF. LM: And it appears he now has a mystery companion. Let's see what we can learn from Requiem: [SCENE: Midnight. The IIWF interview area, only dimly lit. Suddenly, an unearthly tune can be heard, a tune so profoundly sad that the very air seems to grow colder. After a moment, Requiem enters, the tune emanating from the night black guitar that is his symbol of office. It is The Music Of The Unknowingly Damned, but of a variation never before heard. Standing by Requiem's side is a tall and beautiful young woman, perhaps 18 to 20, dressed in a low cut lace dress, and with a brightly polished silver ankh worn about her throat. Her hair, worn loosely down to her waist, is black, and, like Requiem's, shot through with streaks of stark white. Her eyes are blue, but there is little warmth in them, as pale as her albino skin. As the music dies the lights, untended, rise to their usual level. Monitors suddenly switch themselves on, and a camera focuses tightly upon the woman's face. She smiles, and looks up at Requiem.] REQ: They say that defeat leaves a bitter taste in the mouth of a man. Perhaps this is so. For other men. But I am no other man, I am Requiem, known to some as Outcast, and to others as The Angel Of Destruction. To others I am known as a Herald, to some Damnation, and to yet more I am called Salvation. I have been defeated many times throughout the years, but always I have come back stronger, for I know that The Darkness Of The Soul is ultimately self-defeating, and so my faith is unquenchable, my determination unshakeable. Deathbringer, you defeated me at Ring Wars III, and did so honorably. For that you have my respect, and my admiration. But respect, even admiration, is sometimes not enough. For the first time since my long task began I stared into the eyes of a man, and could not judge whether that soul was consumed by the Darkness Of The Soul that is my nemesis. That man was you, Deathbringer. Whether you have my respect or my admiration, I MUST know for sure. For that reason, in the "Go For The Gold" Battle Royal, you shall be tested... [The woman, who has been looking on and becoming increasingly alarmed as Requiem speaks, suddenly exclaims something angrily in a strange language, going on for some moments] REQ: And I say he SHALL be tested. I will brook no argument, for this is my task. MINE ALONE. [The woman ceases her dissent, but merely stands there, angrily] Deathbringer, I must know if your soul is corrupted by the Darkness Of The Soul or not, and on Saturday I shall get another chance to determine for myself. Prepare yourself to be tested, Deathbringer. Should you fail, it will go badly for you... [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: It appears that things are not settled between Deathbringer and Requiem. BL: "Yea, though I walk through the Valley of the Dolls, I will fear no interest rates because thine cash art with me." LM: I think it's time you had a vacation. BL: Do they let horses named Gunther into Tennessee? LM: Let's... just hear from one of the newcomers to the IIWF. Derek Mota scored not one, but TWO wins in his IIWF debut. He wasn't scheduled to wrestle two matches, but allegedly locked Randy Acorn in his locker room and took care of Jumpin' Jack in place of Acorn. BL: Mota is hoping to take care of business the same way tomorrow night. He clearly is not intimidated by the IIWF's talent: [Cut to footage entitled "Earlier This Week". Derek Mota and Tim Dross stand in the IIWF Interview Area. Mota has just finished wrestling his debut against Majestic Maurice McArthur. His long black hair is now tied up in a pony tail, his forehead only showing the slightest traces of sweat. He is wearing long black wrestling tights with the word "Mota" written down each leg.] TD: I'm standing here with the impressive newcomer to the IIWF, Derek Mota. Congratulations on your first win, Derek. DM: Oh, you mean that was a match? I thought it was just a public workout or something. If this is what the IIWF is all about, maybe I should get the hell out of Portland right now! TD: I don't think that 3M is quite the caliber of some of the IIWF superstars that make their living here. DM: Like? TD: How about the Subway Psycho? DM: The "people's champion". Shows what the fans know. Of course, if appealing to the lowest common denominator is your thing, Subway Psycho must be pretty good at it. TD: Deathbringer? DM: Give me a break, Dross. The guy is a lumbering idiot, hiding the fact that he only knows three wrestling moves behind an overused gimmick. Now you name some class guys, Steve Kowalski, Brody Thunder, those guys I respect. TD: We've seen tapes of you wrestle before, and in these tapes, you seem to have a grudge against IIWF member "Badboy" Randy Acorn. DM: Let's make it plain and simple for the fans, Timmy. Acorn backstabbed me, and now he's gonna pay for it. Acorn, there's two reasons I'm in the IIWF. Number one. I come for the best challenges. The IIWF's got the best wrestlers bar none. Number two. I'm following you wherever you go. You're a sore spot in the face of professional wrestling, and I come to wipe you out. TD: Derek, I know that some of us have seen the tapes, but can you give our viewers a little background on this? DM: Gladly. The first time I saw you, Acorn, I thought you were the damn ugliest person I've ever seen. You've got the closest thing to a horse head that a human's ever had. But I looked beyond that, I looked at what you were doing, where you were going, and I liked it. You see, I need some people that have the same plans as me, to move forward in the world, and I thought you would fit in there. And when I helped you win a match in the NLWP, you just backstabbed me right in front of the whole world. And that's when I learned lesson #1: always trust your first impressions. So now I make it to the IIWF, the past is being wiped. Badboy, you think that a face turn will cure all your woes, but you're just avoiding the truth: you're a loser, and you always will be. Maybe I'm just here to remind you. There ain't no bandwagon for you, Acorn, hell, if it's coming, it's just me, comin' ta run you over. Get ready Acorn, I'm closing the book on your IIWF career, whether you like it or not. TD: Okay, thank you Derek, I'm sure we'll see this matchup in the IIWF one day for sure. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ************************************************************************** ----------------- SPECIAL LIVE INTERVIEW: SERGE ANNIS ------------------- ************************************************************************** LM: There is one other participant in the "Go for the Gold" Battle Royal who wants to be heard, so we invited him for a live interview on the show tonight. BL: YOU invited him, Morton. I know what this lunatic will say on the air. You're asking for trouble. LM: I think he's simply misunderstood. Anyway, Steve Summer is standing by here in the studio with none other than Serge Annis. Take it away, Steve. [Cut to Steve Summer standing at another set in the studio. "Some Days It's Dark" plays in the background. Serge Annis stands next to Summer. The music stops.] SS: Ladies and gentlemen, with me is a very unhappy "Epitome of Evil" Serge Annis. Mr. Annis, why are you so upset? SA: There are many reasons why I am pissed off, and believe me I will get to each and every one of them! I am getting sick and tired of the attitudes in IIWF, I am getting tired of the IIWF looking past Serge Annis and casting me to the side, I am sick of the IIWF catering to crybabies and whiners like Chris Quigley, and I am getting sick and tired of being portrayed as mindless, psychotic maniac! [The audience starts a psycho-psycho chant] I assure you all, I am far from psychotic. Perhaps, I am... hehe... the smartest psycho you will ever meet. It seems that the only way to get anything done in IIWF, or to get any justice is to come out here and whine and cry like a baby about all the injustices, so waa, waa, boo hoo. What the [BLEEP] is anyone going to do about it? SS: Well, Mr. Annis, what else are you mad about? SA: Shut up Summer. [grabs the mic] If it isn't one thing in IIWF that will make you mad, it's another. The first person I want to address is The White Phoenix, Shinja Chow. Phoenix, a few months back you did something to me that I will NEVER forget. You came out and interfered in MY match with Deathbringer. First of all, you cost me a conclusive victory, but second of all, and more importantly you burned the side of my face with a fire ball! AND HOW DID YOU PAY FOR IT? YOU DIDN'T! The IIWF turned a blind eye to it, and rewarded you with a shot at the Cruiserweight title! Then it seems everyone forgot that anything happened! Well I never forgot Phoenix. I've just let the anger sit and boil until now it is unbearable. You ignored everything once you got your shot. Well now you are champion -- and you have no more excuses! You get your ass in the ring with me Phoenix, because you owe it to me. I am making a challenge to you White Phoenix. Step in the ring with me, and I guarantee you'll pay! And you have no fear of losing your title, because I don't even qualify for the title! SO IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO PAY -- and time for me to avenge. [The crowd stays silent] And next up, we have Requiem. Requiem got a win over me, cleanly before the Dead Man Rising Match. Well, a loss is a loss, but do you honestly think I was thinking about that match? HELL NO! I was preparing for the Dead Man Rising match! Requiem, you can not pull off what you did before now if you tried your very best. I think that the name of the Dead Man Rising match should be changed to Dead Man Walking because Deathbringer, it is not over. Oh no, it isn't. I got ganged up on and was eliminated first because each and every one of you, Deathbringer, Requiem and Highwayman are scared of Serge Annis. YOU HAD TO GANG UP ON ME TO GET RID OF ME -- a mentality that seems to be commonplace here in the IIWF! Well, I have challenges for each and every one of those involved in the Dead Man Rising match. I challenge all three of you to three separate matches -- one on one -- and we'll just see how easy it is to defeat Serge Annis when it is 1 on 1 rather than 3 on 1! [The crowd boos] Deathbringer, our last contest was marred by White Phoenix of a conclusive winner. I may have won the match via DQ, but I assure you I am not proud of it. SO I still owe you one you conceited jackal! Your ideas and beliefs still mean jack [bleep] to me -- and I intend to prove it. Requiem, I REALLY owe you one, and Highwayman... well, I am sorry but you are an unfortunate victim in my way! [The crowd boos more and Annis glares around] Then we have cry babies who come out here, and whine and cry about all the injustices in their careers, and how they demand some form of justice. Well, that seems to be the only way things get done in IIWF, and that is getting on my nerves -- if anyone wants to whine and cry, I will give them something to whine and cry about. It's called broken bones!! Or perhaps we also have the jump-from-behind theory going -- that is the only other way people get anything done, because they can't do it in the ring! Chris Quigley cost me my shot at my life. Quigley, perhaps it will never get through that thick skull of yours how much it meant to me to beat Dan Kauffman. I don't think it will get past your enormous ego. But since you had a match with him at Ring Wars, you are entitled to waltz into the match and attack ME and cost ME the victory I so desired. IT DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY QUIGLEY -- at least logically it doesn't. But again, that is the way things are done in IIWF! But hey, since it is Chris Quigley it's okay! He can do whatever the Hell he wants around here without paying for it! Why? Because he, just like Dan Kauffman had before, has his lips sewn to President Spreadbury's ass! [The audience is really starting to get upset at these comments insulting Quigley and the IIWF president. Steve Summer is also getting upset.] And now I am being sidelined and put into this battle royal. Does ANYONE really expect me to win the thing? I DON'T THINK SO!!! Why? Because there is so much corporate bull[bleep] going on, and so much [BLEEP]'in injustice that it doesn't matter if people like me are cast aside! Well you know what? I'm going to go into that "Gauntlet" battle royal, and I'm going to do everything I can to snap people's necks, but most of all I'm going to do EVERYTHING and ANYTHING I have to do to win that battle royal! Perhaps that will then get people to take me seriously! [The crowd still boos, and Steve Summer gets fed up. He just leaves the set with Annis still holding the mic. Annis does not even notice Summer's departure.] It is becoming apparent to me, just what the Hell gets results around here in IIWF! You have to be a whining, backstabbing coward with your lips sewn to the president's ass! Well, I don't plan on doing any of those things! There's going to be a new form of results from now on in the form of Serge Annis! Oh -- but wait -- you won't care. You'll all be too busy seeing what the Hell Dan Kauffman is doing now that he is retired, or what Chris Quigley does on a Saturday night! IIWF don't say I never warned you, because I did. I'm playing with a new set of rules now, and I won't kiss Spreadbury's ass to get results! My kinda results would end up in Spreadbury's ass getting kicked! Do not say I never warned anyone. If you think I'm being psychotic... hehehe... I'll show you what psychotic REALLY means! He he he... [Annis slams the mic down to the mat and "Some Days It's Dark" plays again. Annis walks off the set, spitting on a fan's IIWF RULES sign. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] BL: Gee, 'Lar, I hate to say I told you so. LM: Let's just move on to the next segment. ************************************************************************** --------------------------- IIWF TRASH TALK ---------------------------- ************************************************************************** LM: While we're on the topic of newcomers, we should note that the young Scot Duncan Macbeth was impressive in his debut Wednesday night. BL: Yeah, he almost KILT Ned Norton... BWAHAHA... snort snort! LM: All attempts at humor aside, I see a bright future for young Macbeth. BL: He should team up with Hamlet... that great Dane. Or go out with Night Patrol for some DUNCAN doughnuts. Hehehe... I'm killin' here! LM: Let's just hear from Macbeth: [SCENE: The Wednesday War Room program has wrapped up for the night, and the locker room of the IIWF Coliseum is quiet now, except for the sound of a lone man in the far corner preparing to leave. As the camera enters the room we see the figure of Duncan Macbeth, fresh from his IIWF debut victory over Ned Norton, packing his gear into a bag. His Highland-style ring garb has been replaced by jeans and a leather bomber, and his long reddish hair is tied back in a neat ponytail. As he places his folded kilt into the bag, he glances up and notices the camera.] DM: I suppose yis're wonderin' wha' th' blazes I'm still doin' 'ere, aren't ye? I ken wha' yis're probably thinkin'..."Och, Macbeth, ye've won yuir bleedin' debut match, why dinnae ye go home an' celebrate?" Well lads, I ken well tha' gettin' t' th' top o' th' IIWF is goin t' take more than wastin' me time on tossers like Ned Norton, so I've been 'ere all night watchin' some o' th' real players at work... watchin', an' learnin'! [Macbeth leans closer into the camera, his green unblinking eyes fixed coldly on the lens.] Mark me well, IIWF, I did nae come 'ere t' fool about wi' th' bottom feeders - I'm 'ere t' decorate me mantle with IIWF gold! I may be new t' this' fed, but tha' does nae mean I just fell off o' th' turnip truck. As a few o' ye ken well already, Duncan Macbeth kens 'is way 'round th' squared circle, an' 'e kens what it takes t' win titles! Casey James, Laird Byron, yuir lives have just gotten a LOT more difficult, lads. An' if any other o' yis chooses t' stand in me way - well, there's plenty o' room at th' bottom o' th' roster, and I'll be more than happy t' send yis there!!! [Macbeth closes the bag and throws it over his shoulder, making his way to the exit. As he swings the door open he turns back to the camera with a wry smirk.] 'Till I meet yis in th' ring, lads, remember - I'll be watchin' yis... watchin', an learnin'! [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: I love that Scottish brogue. BL: If it ain't brogue, don't fix it! Hehehe! Bring out the haggis and blancmange! LM: How about if we just move on? Cold Spell earned an unexpected shot at the IIWF World Tag Team Championship at Ring Wars III, and although they didn't come away with the belts, they certainly turned some heads with their strong performance. BL: I turn my head because of their strong aroma. That Icehawk guy smells like herring. LM: Oh, the straight lines I pass up. Despite their strong showing, Icehawk and Edmund Fitzgerald are ready to get some wins: [SCENE: A very frustrated Icehawk and his stoic partner hit the interview set.] IH: This is ridiculous! In our last two matches, we've had Night Patrol cleanly beaten, and we had the World Tag champs cleanly beaten, but we still don't have a title! Are we the only team in this whole fed that doesn't cheat, and have 47 people at ringside? Is there one team in the IIWF that has enough guts to face us one-on-one? If there was any justice here, the unification match would be us wrestling against each other! [Fitz lays a hand on Icehawk's shoulder] FITZ: Calm down. We might not have a title, but we've proven ourselves to people that matter. Night Patrol, you got a break when you beat us. The ref had a glass jaw. You know you were beaten, and we know you were beaten, but you got the win. And now you are the US Tag Champs. Congratulations. Anytime you want a challenge, you know where to find us. But right now, I'm thinking about the World Tag Team Champions. How did it feel to wrestle a team that has only been here for a couple months, at the biggest event in IIWF history, and have to crawl back to the locker room with your belts between your legs? At least Night Patrol figured out a way to beat us. You two couldn't even manage that. My guess is that you will whine about not having time to prepare, and duck giving us a rematch. Fine. But wherever you go in the IIWF, we'll be there. Waiting to get you back in the ring. And we'll beat you again. I guarantee it. [Fade. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] LM: You can be sure that Cold Spell will continue to be heard from here in the IIWF. BL: Hey, why isn't that Edmund Fitzgerald guy in the battle royal? LM: For starters, he's a tag team wrestler. BL: We could use that line from the song: "The ring bell chimed, it rang nineteen times... once for each man on top of Edmund Fitzgerald." Hehe... BWAHA... snort! LM: It isn't necessary to insult every... [Larry pauses and listens to his ear piece] Fans, I'm being told we have just received a tape. [off camera] Is it ready? Okay, let's go to this tape... whatever it is: [SCENE: Shot with a video camera set on a table, the scene is a seedy, but hauntingly familiar, roadside diner. A voice is heard in the background saying, "It's them again!" Customers are seen fleeing into the parking lot. The heads of Abie and Zed, The Alphabet Boys, fill the screen.] ABIE: This is where it began. We came to the IIWF to do one thing. ZED: To meet Elvis! ABIE: Yeah. To win, become famous, and meet Elvis. ZED: We didn't do any of that. [Zed sets to dismembering packets of Sweet-n-Low] ABIE: We went to Rising Sun Revolution and asked them to make us great. They tried... but they said we were missing something. ZED: Yeah. ABIE: They told us to go to Japan like they did and learn stuff. That's where we're going. ZED: [Notices a squeeze bottle of ketchup] Hee, hee. [He squirts Abie with the condiment. Abie dives across the table hammering Zed. A voice yells "Not again!". Soon the two combatants roll over the table, knocking the camera onto the floor. The shot explodes into static. Cut back to Larry and Becky in the studio.] ************************************************************************** ------------------------- IIWF SINGLES RANKINGS ------------------------- ************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Casey James H 35 21 12 2 63% (WC) WC Lord Byron H 21 16 5 0 76% (IC) IC The White Phoenix F 20 13 6 1 68% (CW) CW ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Deathbringer H 30 22 5 3 78% (1) 1 Steve Kowalski H 17 13 4 0 77% (2) 2 Creed N 13 10 3 0 77% (4) 3 "Enigma" Takezo Musashi N 27 20 7 0 75% (3) 4 Highwayman F 7 5 2 0 71% (5) 5 Otto Verhoeven H 28 19 8 1 70% (6) 6 Mad Dog Watkins H 10 7 3 0 70% (7) 7 Requiem F 5 3 1 1 70% (8) 8 Billy Shakespeare F 35 24 10 1 70% (9) 9 Subway Psycho F 32 21 9 2 69% (10) 10 Chris Quigley F 24 16 7 1 69% (11) 11 "Sychosys" Joe Petrow N 10 6 3 1 65% (13) 12 Marty Warnett F 36 22 14 0 61% (14) 13 Dirt Dog Unique Allah N 16 9 6 1 59% (15) 14 Brody Thunder H 19 11 8 0 58% (16) 15 Mr. Damage H 28 16 12 0 57% (17) 16 "Real Deal" Luke Steele F 7 4 3 0 57% (18) 17 Nightwing F 9 5 4 0 56% (23) 18 Tiger Claw H 42 22 18 2 55% (19) 19 The Sandman F 32 16 16 0 50% (20) 20 Cheshire H 12 6 6 0 50% (21) 21 Serge Annis N 11 5 5 1 50% (22) 22 The Hangman H 16 6 7 3 47% (24) 23 The Cell H 21 9 12 0 43% (25) 24 Ronnie Paris F 12 5 7 0 42% (26) 25 "Badboy" Randy Acorn H 10 4 6 0 40% (27) 26 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Derek Mota H 2 2 0 0 100% (-) 27 Duncan Macbeth N 1 1 0 0 100% (-) 28= Ike Sampson F 1 1 0 0 100% (-) 28= Tony Starks F 2 1 1 0 50% (29) 30 Spur H 4 1 3 0 25% (28) 31 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************** ------------------------ IIWF TAG TEAM RANKINGS ------------------------- ************************************************************************** ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name of team F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Dark Disciples H 13 7 5 1 58% (WT) WT Night Patrol H 5 5 0 0 100% (US) US ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Prophets of Rage H 7 6 1 0 86% (1) 1 Cold Spell F 6 5 1 0 83% (2) 2 The Harlequins N 7 5 2 0 71% (3) 3 Domination F 10 6 2 2 70% (4) 4 Rising Sun Revolution F 16 11 5 0 69% (5) 5 The Armed Forces H 29 19 9 1 67% (6) 6 High Plains Drifters H 30 18 11 1 62% (7) 7 Pain Inc. H 20 11 8 1 58% (8) 8 G.W.R. N 13 7 6 0 54% (9) 9 The Hangmen H 19 9 8 2 53% (10) 10 W & W Express H 6 3 3 0 50% (12) 11 The Zodiac Connection F 21 10 11 0 48% (11) 12 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Last Resort F - - - - - (-) - ------------------------------- on leave ------------------------------- The Players' Club F 14 6 8 0 43% (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************** ---------------------- UPCOMING IIWF PROGRAMMING ----------------------- ************************************************************************** LM: Fans, we know you'll be with us tomorrow night for what promises to be a great card. Call the IIWF Hotline on Sunday for the latest news and rumors, and don't forget to tune in Monday for "IIWF Monday Musings." "Inside the IIWF" comes your way on Tuesday, and then "Wednesday War Room" heats up the middle of the week. As always, it will be followed by "IIWF Classics" on Thursday. BL: All this on the BBC -- the Becky Broadcasting Company! LM: Dream on. So for now, this is Larry Morton for Little Miss BBC wishing you all a good night. [The remote camera zooms back up the aisle as Mistress Quickly turns her attention from Martina to Ellen Degeneres. The other fans wave their signs and t-shirts as the credits roll past too quickly to read. Fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+