##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "INSIDE THE IIWF" with Tim Dross Tuesday 8 April 1997 ----------------------------------------------- [Elvis Costello's "Radio, Radio" loudly plays as the shot opens on veteran IIWF commentator Tim Dross standing in front of the wall of monitors which each display a match from IIWF past or present.] TD: Hello, fans and welcome to "Inside the IIWF", your weekly look at all the news, views, reviews and previews... highlights and sidelights... cheers and jeers... a look behind at the week that was and ahead at the week that will be -- right here in the finest wrestling federation in the world today.... the mighty IIWF! I'm your host, Tim Dross, and we've got a lot of ground to cover. There are two new championship tag teams in the IIWF and a veritable slew of stories on our virtual plate -- but first... this week's top story. ************************************************************************ ----------------------------- HEADLINES ------------------------------ ************************************************************************ Billy Shakespeare may not have been competing, but Saturday Night's "Go For The Gold" Battle Royal certainly had all the trappings of an epic theatrical production. There was Act I action, carried by a self-appointed band of knaves: [Cut to shots of Mad Dog Watkins, Brody Thunder and Steve Kowalski engaging in wild three-way brawling in the middle of the ring -- stopping only to gang up on anyone who would dare to intrude... triple right hands to Ronnie Paris... a three man fling of Nightwing over the top rope.] In Act II, we saw the personal conflicts that made this battle royal less twenty men... and more about one-on-one: [Cut to the staredown between Requiem and Deathbringer... the furious brawl between Joe Petrow and Brody Thunder... the attack of Chris Quigley by Marty Warnett... Joe Petrow's asai moonsault into Rage and Dirt Dog.] In Act III, the battle was of two men, the long time hero... and his counter in every sense: [Cut to Petrow's one second fall of Quigley... Quigley returning the favor with a one-second Quickstriker... the frightening superplex and the raising of Joe Petrow's hand in victory.] It is said that every twenty-four hours, anyone can be on top of the world and that may have never been more the case than when "Sychosys" Joe Petrow withstood the challenge of 19 of the finest wrestlers in the world today to win the "Go For The Gold" Battle Royal and advance to the Gauntlet Challenge. ************************************************************************ ------------------------ SUPERSTAR OF THE WEEK ----------------------- ************************************************************************ His elimination of Dirt Dog Unique Allah alone, and subsequent hopping on one foot around the ringside perimeter might have been enough to capture this week's award -- even had he not been able to defeat Chris Quigley. Indeed, the award for IIWF Superstar of the Week belongs to the man who only a few short weeks ago was contemplating, at the very least, retirement from this sport -- "Sychosys" Joe Petrow. And it will not end just yet for Joe Petrow as this week he will begin the "Gauntlet Challenge". On IIWF Saturday Night, Joe Petrow will meet the Cruiserweight Champion, "The White Phoenix" Shinja Chow... and only a victory will allow his continuing on what is a truly remarkable quest -- Joe Petrow's charge for Heavyweight gold here in the IIWF. Incidentally, I have viewed the finish of Saturday Night's battle royal... the superplex to the outside... from the only camera angle which we have available. Frankly, it is inconclusive as to which man, if either, actually hit the outside first. I commend IIWF officials for being able to quickly make such a difficult decision -- but there are more than a few ringside observers who agree that "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley has a legitimate beef with the official call. Regardless, the decision will stand and, on a personal note, I'll be sure to order an extra waffle for "Sychosys" when he steps into the ring this Saturday Night against the always tough White Phoenix. ************************************************************************ ---------------------- TIM DROSS BREAKS IT DOWN ---------------------- ************************************************************************ Now, here are the rest of the results from IIWF Saturday Night: ["If" by Alice in Chains kicks in as the Saturday Night highlight package begins... Musashi hitting Shakespeare with a chair... each man missing his finishing move... Musashi with Shakespeare tucked underneath... The Syndicate destroying Nightwing... Shinja Chow with the flaming Cruiserweight belt... Kowalski and Chow nose-to-nose... wild battles between the Prophets/Harlequins/Disciples/Pain Inc./Night Patrol and Thunder/Claw... the Harlequins and then Pain Inc. getting their hands raised... Starks with a figure four on Verhoeven... Verhoeven and Byron doubleteaming Starks... Creed throwing Byron into Verhoeven... Brenda Hawkings tied up in the back... Joe Petrow with his hand raised... Creed walking the aisle with the red spotlight... James flanked by the Syndicate... James with a powerslam... Creed attacked by Claw and Thunder... Creed hit by the Heavyweight Championship belt... Creed with the spinning spinebuster... Creed attacked by the Syndicate... Creed powerbombing Subway Psycho... Subway Psycho beaten down by the Syndicate... Casey James stands with the IIWF Heavyweight Championship aloft as the shot fades... replaced by a scroll of the Saturday Night results:] - IIWF World Heavyweight Championship = Creed def. Casey James (DQ) - IIWF World Tag Team Championship = Pain Inc. def. Dark Disciples - IIWF US Tag Team Championship = Harlequins def. Night Patrol - Takezo Musashi def. Billy Shakespeare - Tony Starks def. Otto Verhoeven (DQ) - Shinja Chow def. El Super Gecko - Go For The Gold Battle Royal = Winner: "Sychosys" Joe Petrow IIWF GETS SYNDICATED ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [As the camera zooms to Dross, there is some commotion from the side, and an audio tape of Sparkplug Lee is heard.] SL: Ladies and gentlemen... Steve "Soundbite" Roberts! TD: Good grief. [Steve Roberts now saunters into the shot, waving in a papal fashion to the crew, which cheers his entrance. Roberts is wearing a blue blazer under which is his, "Kickin' Da' Ass... Eatin' Da' Biscuits" L'il Soundbiter t-shirt.] TD: Steve Roberts, what is the meaning of this? SR: Sad, sad, Dross. I have been watching this show, once the crown jewel of the weekly IIWF programming, be turned into a veritable den of iniquity -- a mind-numbing assault on all that is good and decent in the field of broadcast journalism. In other words: it sucks donkeys. TD: How poetic. SR: So, the suits in the front office have once again called on the one man who can save this sinking ship to see if anything can be done to rectify the mess that you have made over the past few weeks. TD: Well, we're trying to do some new things... change is good sometimes... the people seem to... SR: Yadda, yadda, yadda. Look, let me bottom line it for all you people. I got the go-ahead from the VP his own self -- Steve Owens -- to do whatever I had to do to save this show. He's even more worried about it than I am. Calling me all the time, "Soundbite... Soundbite... Dross needs you... he's a loser... the IIWF needs you, help me, Steve "Soundbite" Roberts -- you're my only hope!" TD: Okay. What is it you propose to do on our little program? SR: Something simple, Dross, We're gonna have an "Ask the Soundbite" segment. People are gonna send in their questions to the greatest wrestling broadcaster who ever lived about all manner of human endeavor. It'll be a kick in the ass, Dross. TD: Good grief. SR: Roll the credits, Chester. ************************************************************************ --------------------- BITE ME: Ask the Soundbite --------------------- ************************************************************************ SR: Yeah, that's workin'. Hopefully, we'll get some decent cameras so some of you L'il Soundbiters out there can talk to me totally live -- but for now we have these letters. So here goes... [Roberts reads] "Dear Mr. Soundbite, I'm your biggest fan. I'm a 22 year old green eyed blonde. I have a tight little body and have been told that I look like Ashley Judd..." SR: Hey, do I have the big pants for the little Judd. "Anyway, what I want to know before I become an official L'il Soundbiter is... are you married? Do you have a girlfriend? I have a boyfriend -- but I'd give him up yesterday for you, Soundbite. Sincerely, P.P. Stamford, Connecticut." SR: As a matter of fact, P.P. -- I do have a girlfriend... a very special girlfriend as a matter of fact... someone who will be with me every step of the way from here on in... Maggie, come on out here! [A middle aged, overweight, awfully broken down woman comes into the studio. She is wearing jeans and a plain white blouse and her hair is a badly dyed blonde. She is smoking a cigarette and moves with the gait of someone who has clearly been around the block... or at least on its streetcorner... more than a few times. "Maggie" walks to Roberts... and immediately drops to her knees...] TD: Good grief. SR: Hey, hey baby. Family show... family show. Stand on up here so the people can see the prettiest gal in the whole wide world! ["Maggie" wearily stands... Roberts grimaces... and kisses her on the forehead.] Don't ya love her folks! Don't ya' just love my Maggie! The purtiest gal there ever was! Maggie, tell the people how much you loooove ol' Soundbite! Maggie: [barely conscious] I love ole' Soundbutt. SR: Close enough, baby. Now, tell the people how much better I am than that good for nothing little punk Ronnie Paris. Tell 'em all about me, honeybunch. Maggie: I love ole' Soundbutt. SR: That's right, you run along now, lovebuns, get your pass for space mountain all ready to go, Maggie honey. ["Maggie" drops her cigarette butt on the floor, her shoulders slump and she leaves as impassively as she had entered.] TD: Are you through? SR: Let me give the finish, Dross. You'd like you some of that, wouldn't you? I'll see what I can do. TD: I'll keep my dollar fifty, thanks. SR: Oh ho -- Widdle Ronnie won't like that, Dross. I might have to teach you my moonsault to fend him off. So, until next week, this is Steve "Soundbite" Roberts saying... you can all Bite Me! [The voice of Sparkplug Lee is now heard again as Steve Roberts exits the shot.] SL: Soundbite has left the building! Soundbite has left the building! [The shot focuses back on Dross as the chuckles of the crew are impossible to stifle. Dross shakes his head.] TD: I'm too old for this. Let's try that again. ************************************************************************ ------------------- TIM DROSS BREAKS IT DOWN: Redux ------------------ ************************************************************************ IIWF GETS SYNDICATED ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It sure ain't no "Seinfeld", folks -- when you talk "Syndication" in professional wrestling circles, everyone knows you mean Brian Lau and the boys have done it again. Saturday Night, the Syndicate's roller coaster had more twists and turns than the Beast at Kings Island in Cincinnati: Nightwing attacks -- bad for Syndicate. A few months ago, a rookie like Nightwing would never have thought he could go into the wolves' den and come out alive. Nightwing attacks -- good for Syndicate. Nightwing... and you'll apologize for my indelicacy... got the holy heck beat out of him on Saturday Night. Brody Thunder shoved him so deep into a locker, Nightwing probably thought it was the first day of junior high. Harlequins win US Tag Titles -- good for Syndicate. Why? Because it was the attack of Kane and Wulf upon the Night Patrol, and the subsequent abduction of Brenda Hawkings, which keyed the title switch. Dark Disciples lose World Tag Titles -- bad for Syndicate. This was the real downturn of the night, with Pain Inc. stunningly defeating Don McQueen's boys to grab the tag titles. Thunder and Claw lose battle royal -- good and bad for Syndicate. While it was a quick night for the three-time IC champ, Brody Thunder had a tremendous battle royal until being shockingly eliminated by Chris Quigley. Brenda Hawkings found -- we'll see. Creed defeats Casey James -- good and bad for the Syndicate. To be perfectly honest, the red-gloved rookie really took it to the Heavyweight Champ, despite the numerous instances of outside intererence by the Syndicate. And it was only the grabbing of Earl Alfonso by Brody Thunder that kept the Championship belt from going to Creed -- now unbeaten in twelve consecutive matches. However... and this is a big however... I do not believe the Syndicate cares. Their goal is to keep that Championship belt in the family -- and another James DQ loss seems a small price to pay for the gold. Creed put up a game effort, but put it up alone. If anyone is to wrest that gold from the waist of Casey James, he may have to come in with appropriate backup. The stomping continued for the Syndicate -- not only was Creed given some post match work, but the Subway Psycho, himself a victim of a Creed powerbomb, was stomped out by the thuggish gang. Bottom line, like it or not: the Syndicate remains the controlling force in the IIWF -- and with the forces from without seemingly more fractured than ever before, its reign does not appear in danger of soon ending. TAG, YOU'RE... OUT ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ As mentioned, we have all-new tag champions in the IIWF. Pain Inc., with more than a little help from a metal shiv, defeated the Dark Disciples to become World Champions, and the Harlequins, with their own benefactors in the soon to be deposed Dark Disciples, ended Night Patrol's very brief reign at the top of the US charts. This is only the tip of the chaotic iceburg that is the IIWF tag ranks. Saturday Night featured two all out brawls by a combined six tag units -- including Claw and Thunder -- and the apparent torture... which I don't believe is too strong a word... of Night Patrol's Brenda Hawkings. It has often seemed that the Dark Disciples held a firm grasp on the number one tag role in the IIWF, even during the times in which they have been beltless. However, given the events of last Saturday Night, I think it is safe to say that there are some half a dozen teams who could make valid claims to either of the two tag belts -- and nary a sayer could nay otherwise. WHAT A STRANGE RELATIONSHIP... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Perhaps it was the "Go For The Gold" Battle Royal that brought out the best and worst of IIWFers throughout the Saturday Night card, but we saw a perhaps unprecedented amount of odd alliances -- and broken friendships -- at the IIWF Coliseum last week. Let's start with the so-called European Alliance. Their mutual continent of origin would seem the only uniting force between two such diametric opposites as Otto Verhoeven and Lord Byron. But there they were, together spoiling the Saturday Night return of Tony Starks... and more damage they would have done had not young Creed come to the aid of a man whom -- I have it on good authority -- he has never met. Certainly either of these duos would prove formidible -- but it appears that it is the European Alliance which might have the longest legs, a prospect that must strike fear in a number of IIWF superstars -- save perhaps Tony Starks, who vowed to me in a conversation earlier this week that this matter between he and Verhoeven was far from over. That's not the only relationship with which Creed found himself involved, as, in a shocking turn of events, he powerbombed his one-time tag partner, the Subway Psycho, following his victory over Casey James. Disappointment? Confusion? Or something else? Needless to say, the "People's Champion" will have some fairly pointed questions for the red gloved rookie. Then there was the battle royal, where life long friendships are formed and broken within the span of an hour -- sort of like Hollywood. Dirt Dog and Joe Petrow -- enemies? Friends? Enemies. Chris Quigley and Marty Warnett -- enemies? Friends? Enemies. Requiem and Deathbringer -- friends? Enemies? Even as they fought on the outside -- it was simply impossible to tell. Then there was the odd scene of Mad Dog Watkins, Brody Thunder and Steve Kowalski, the three men who fought like dogs in the middle of the ring for well over half the battle royal -- but seeming to act in unison whenever their own personal free-for-all was threatened to be joined by a fourth party. Ask Ronnie Paris, Serge Annis or Nightwing if these three men were working together. An alliance? More likely just "boys being boys". Three of the self professed tough new breed of IIWFers duking it out in their own private test of will. Will any of these newly found friends or foes last beyond the wounds of the battle? Well, we shall see -- but what does seem likely is that last Saturday Night will have some repurcussions for some IIWF superstars -- say, around the time of May 10. ************************************************************************ ------------------- SUMMERTIME: with Steve Summer -------------------- ************************************************************************ [Camera two now focuses on Dross as he pivots to face the seated Summer. Civ's "I Can't Wait One Minute More" plays in the background.] TD: Well, next is our brand new segment. People seemed to enjoy it last week and we're all very proud of Steve. It's Summertime -- and IIWF news intern Steve Summer will give his unique take on some of the actions of the "New IIWF Generation". Steve? [Summer is wearing a grey three button sportcoat over a "Joe Petrow. Period." t-shirt and gives a broad smile as he begins.] SS: Okay, you know the drill -- three words. Steve... Kowalski... Rules! Aw, come on, you got to give it up to the Fury -- 239 pounds?! Mr. Dross is closer to 239 pounds than Steve Kowalski. No offense, Mr. Dross. The guy is freaking brilliant -- I mean, the little guys can go -- and the Enigma did beat Billy Shakespeare -- but all the top cruisers are gettin' up there... close to mowin' the heavenly lawn... if you know what I'm talkin' 'bout. Kowalski's young, and he gets it done. He's the next Cruiserweight Champion of the World. And my man Creed -- my man Creed kicked Casey James' butt! You all saw it, you know the man's the deal... I was markin' out like crazy when he powerbombed the Subway Psycho! Creed and Kowalski -- those guys are the stuff. And what about the new guys? Huh? Can the new guys go? Tell you next week -- but that Mota looks like he's gonna run one "Badboy" right out of town. Hey, Sampson, Macbeth, Mota... you want to make your mark here in the big time... you give ole' Steve Summer a call -- I got big league stroke... TD: [clears his throat] Steve... SS: Uh, I'm sorry, Mr. Dross, just trying to get a story... you know me. Anyway, one last thing... Ronnie Paris chewed my butt royal last week in El Paso -- and then tried to apologize to me on Saturday Night. Well, you know what, Ronnie Paris? You know what? You were one of my favorite guys... [Summer begins to stand] ...we're like close to the same age... I've been in your corner in the news meetings -- and you think you can treat Steve Summer like that? Huh? Do you? [Summer breaks out into a huge grin.] Nah, I'm just kidding, we're good, Ronnie. Thanks for thinking of me, bro. Stuff happens, am I right? That's all for this week -- so remember to keep cool -- because it's always Summertime! [The music begins again as the shot drifts back to Dross.] TD: Thanks again, Steve. Next week, maybe you can cover the Saturday Night debuts of some of the new blood in the IIWF. SS: Already on it, Mr. Dross. Rarin' to go. ************************************************************************ ----------------- FIRST LOOK: This week in the IIWF ------------------ ************************************************************************ Here is your _First Look_ at all the action which will go down this week from the IIWF Coliseum. WEDNESDAY WAR ROOM - April 9 1997: - Cheshire vs. Majestic Maurice McArthur [J] - Highwayman vs. Jumpin' Jack [J] - Brody Thunder vs. Bobby B. Goode [J] - Dark Disciples vs. The Rotundos [J] - Zodiac Connection vs. Barnacle Brothers [J] - Cold Spell vs. W & W Express - Hangman vs. Derek Mota - Hangmen vs. G.W.R. - Nightwing vs. Tiger Claw Folks, two matches jump out at me from tomorrow night's card. The three-time Intercontinental Champion Tiger Claw returns to singles action against a young man in Nightwing whose actions, of late, could charitably be described as erratic. If you think we will see a clean, honorable wrestling match between these two competitors, then you haven't been paying attention. Secondly, we have that match between two of the new tag teams in the IIWF, each desperately looking to make its mark. Given the aforementioned volatility in the IIWF tag ranks, this match could kick off a hot streak by either of these teams which could culminate in a grab for the gold. IIWF SATURDAY NIGHT - April 12 1997: - TOWEL MATCH: Ronnie Paris (w/Maggie Collins) vs. "Real Deal" Luke Steele (w/Spur) - NON-TITLE GAUNTLET MATCH: "Sychosys" Joe Petrow vs. The White Phoenix - NON-TITLE MATCH: The Harlequins vs. High Plains Drifters - Chris Quigley vs. Dirt Dog Unique Allah - Requiem vs. Nightwing - Ike Sampson vs. Duncan Macbeth - Steve "the Fury" Kowalski vs. Randy Acorn - Mad Dog Watkins vs. Highwayman - Brody Thunder vs. Marty Warnett A very solid Saturday Night on its way for you great fans. You will, of course, see "Go For the Gold" Battle Royal winner Joe Petrow begin to "run the gauntlet" of IIWF Champions in search of that ultimate gold... Also, what a matchup -- what a matchup between Brody Thunder and the former Intercontinental Champion Marty Warnett. And where Thunder goes -- there is always the possiblility that the Syndicate will follow. Plenty of other great action as well, with superstars like Mad Dog Watkins, Steve Kowalski and Chris Quigley all in competition... not to mention what could be an early barometer of the careers of two of the newcomers here, when Ike Sampson meets Duncan Macbeth. Be sure to catch all the action direct from the IIWF Coliseum. ************************************************************************ ----------------- UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL: Ronnie Paris ---------------- ************************************************************************ Another intriguing matchup which will come your way on Saturday Night is that towel match between the "Real Deal" Luke Steele and the subject of this week's Up Close and Personal, young Ronnie Paris. The only third-generation superstar in the IIWF, Ronnie Paris certainly had a lot of people talking following his comments of last Saturday Night and the introduction of his lady friend Maggie Collins. We're sure Mr. Paris will have plenty to say about Steve Roberts' little display tonight... but first of all, here's this week's UCAP -- Ronnie Paris: [Cut to Tim Dross sitting on a plastic chair in the familiar El Paso gym where Ronnie Paris trains. Maggie Collins is nearby, encouraging Paris, who is on the mats doing crunches. After a few seconds, Maggie says "That's enough...", and Paris slowly gets up, huffing and puffing a bit.] RP: [calling over to Dross] Nothing like crunches to get you in the talkative mood... I'd do anything for a break, so I'll be saying a lot! TD: Of course, that's the point. [Paris walks over and sits down on one side of Dross, while fiancee Maggie sits on the other side. The two additional plastic chairs bring back painful memories of elementary school.] TD: An obvious first question would be about this young lady. [Dross points at Maggie] Ms. Collins, isn't it? [Maggie smiles, and nods to show Dross he's right.] Well, we heard last Saturday that you two are engaged to be married. How long has this been in the works? RP: I'll take that one. After Ring Wars, I kinda got down on myself and realized that the approach I was taking here in the IIWF wasn't working that well. Sure, I didn't expect to waltz in and take a title or anything, but I thought I could at least have some fun, and it just wasn't happening. That week we had off was a pretty dark period for me, and Maggie really helped me pull through and re-evaluate where I wanted to go. Part of where I wanted to go was towards commitment in my personal life, so I proposed only last Thursday. TD: So you'd been seeing each other for some time before that? RP: About eight months. TD: Maggie, our female viewers will kill me if I don't ask... how did Ronnie propose? [Maggie looks quite nervous, and is having difficulty finding her voice. Paris takes hold of her hand to reassure her.] MC: Well... it was a pretty traditional thing. You know, fancy restaurant and all. Sorry, I'm just a little nervous with these cameras... TD: Quite alright. Take your time. MC: Well, he did get down on one knee. Ronnie is a stickler for tradition. He'd even managed to slip the ring into my drink, which goes to show how good his reflexes are. I'd like to see Luke Steele do that without my noticing! [Paris chuckles a bit, and turns to Maggie.] RP: You wouldn't accept if Luke Steele proposed, would you? MC: [with an impish smile] Don't tempt me... TD: I suppose the next thing to talk about would be your history as a wrestler... the name Paris is easily identified here in Texas, but our viewers farther north might not know your history. How did you come to the IIWF and what credentials did you bring? RP: Well, I started my wrestling career small, in all the little Texas indies. I was burdened by trying to follow in my father's and grandfather's footsteps, both of whom were fantastic wrestlers. My grandfather once wrestled Lou Thesz to a draw in Houston, so those are tough shoes to fill. TD: I can imagine. What were you doing right before the IIWF called? That's what I'm driving at... RP: Oh, you want the Golden Boy story. [Paris shrugs his shoulders.] Gotta give the man what he wants. Well, I'd been having some success in Mexico, and I even managed to win a tag team title a couple of times with my older brother Dave. A large, national promotion which has since gone bankrupt, the EWL, liked what they saw, so they called me with a contract offer. This was the biggest opportunity I'd ever had, so of course I jumped at it. The only problem was that they made me try to be more entertaining in my personality. I took on a "Golden Boy" gimmick... I had to be really flamboyant, always had a valet with me, the whole nine yards. I let it get to my head. TD: So nothing good came out of the experience? RP: [thinking for a second] I wouldn't say that. At the start, it was good. Within two months I'd won the Light Heavyweight title. But, like I said, when it got to my head everything collapsed. I lost my job after a prolonged losing streak, and I kind of lost my identity... but I met Maggie here for the first time at an EWL card, so I got one good thing out of it! [Paris waves in that annoying way that only people truly in love can do, and Maggie returns the wave.] TD: So the IIWF offered you a contract, and from there we know the story. One question, though, is about Ring Wars. Half of your original team for the Wild Card match has since departed the IIWF. What differentiates you from Stud Stetson or the American Patriot, both of whom had similar if not more accolades than yourself upon joining the IIWF? RP: Attitude. The IIWF tests your resolve, and I knew it would. The only difference between me and, say, Stetson, is that I'm willing to take my lumps and gain experience, while he wants to pad his ego by winning titles against inferior competition. It's his life... but I'd rather test myself against the best. I'm prepared to follow the same path Marty Warnett followed... a few months ago, everybody and their uncle was beating on him, but he's already been the Intercontinental champion. TD: Very true. Well, I'd like to talk about the present, first of all that big "Go for the Gold" battle royal last Saturday night. Are you pleased with the way you wrestled? RP: Anytime I give my all, and learn something from the match, I'm pleased. I drew an unlucky number, and I kinda feel that the High Plains Drifters might have screwed me, but overall I took a lot of punishment and kept on going, so I'm happy with what happened. TD: Maggie, do you feel that your presence in Ronnie's life has changed his in-ring style at all, after seeing the battle royal? MC: Well, I think he's more aggressive because he has something to fight for now. Unless he's seeing someone on the side, of course... [Maggie smiles and turns to face Paris.] RP: [grinning from ear to ear] Like you said before, don't tempt me. That Lady DeWinter's looking miiii-ghty fine. TD: I'm not quite sure how Lord Byron would feel about that, although I'm fairly sure he wouldn't be pleased. He seldom is pleased, actually. In any event, what's next for Ronnie Paris? RP: It's funny that you mention Lord Byron, because I would like to test myself against him some day. I'd like to see how my technique and amateur style measures up to the best, and when it comes to technical wrestling, Byron certainly is the best. For now, though, I'll have to be content with Luke Steele. He's been a thorn in my side way too long, and this Saturday I'll have my chance to finally make him eat his words and throw in the towel. TD: That would be the "Towel Match" you asked for. RP: Yes. I'd like to hope that after I win that, Steele will finally crawl back under whatever rock he came from and leave me alone. However, knowing him, he might just bother me for a while after that. TD: With regards to that towel match, the big question falls on the young lady's shoulders. Maggie, if Ronnie is in danger of being hurt, will you throw in the towel out of concern for his well being? MC: [a little hesitantly] Ronnie knows what's best for himself from an injury standpoint, he knows what he can handle. I doubt that Luke Steele even knows any submission holds, but if he does Ronnie will be the judge of if he should give or not. TD: Well, I'd like to wrap this up about now, if you don't mind. [Paris gives a thumbs up, so Dross goes on.] Now, as a final thought, what is your ultimate goal here in the IIWF, and in life in general? RP: That's at the same time a hard and easy question to answer. In the IIWF, I'll be happy just doing my best and giving a hundred-and-ten percent. Obviously, I'd like some championship gold, but if that doesn't happen I won't cry about being screwed or not getting the chance. Outside the wrestling world, though, I've found my priorities when I found true love. My ultimate goal, beyond anything else, is to be a good husband and, hopefully in the future, a good father. I'd love to have a baby girl, and name her Susan. MC: [interrupting] I thought we agreed on Danielle? RP: [getting a bit defensive] What's wrong with Susan? MC: We've had this conversation before... let's not argue. RP: Of course not... I love you, honeybuns. TD: Honeybuns? Wow, this is getting too sappy even for me! In all seriousness though, it's refreshing to see a strong family and love in the wrestling world, where hate and bitterness so often provide the motivation to wrestle. Ronnie, Maggie, it's been a pleasure, and good luck with the future. And just for the record, I always liked Mathilda. [Fade as Paris starts to laugh out loud over Dross' suggestion.] ************************************************************************ ----------------------- IIWF SINGLES RANKINGS ------------------------ ************************************************************************ as at 5/4/97 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Casey James H 36 21 13 2 61% (WC) WC Lord Byron H 21 16 5 0 76% (IC) IC The White Phoenix F 21 14 6 1 69% (CW) CW ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Creed N 14 11 3 0 79% (3) 1 Deathbringer H 30 22 5 3 78% (1) 2 Steve Kowalski H 17 13 4 0 77% (2) 3 "Enigma" Takezo Musashi F 28 21 7 0 75% (4) 4 Highwayman F 7 5 2 0 71% (5) 5 Mad Dog Watkins H 10 7 3 0 70% (7) 6 Requiem F 5 3 1 1 70% (8) 7 Subway Psycho F 32 21 9 2 69% (10) 8 Chris Quigley F 24 16 7 1 69% (11) 9 Billy Shakespeare F 36 24 11 1 68% (9) 10 "Sychosys" Joe Petrow N 11 7 3 1 68% (13) 11 Otto Verhoeven H 29 19 9 1 67% (6) 12 Marty Warnett F 36 22 14 0 61% (14) 13 Dirt Dog Unique Allah N 16 9 6 1 59% (15) 14 Brody Thunder H 19 11 8 0 58% (16) 15 Mr. Damage H 28 16 12 0 57% (17) 16 "Real Deal" Luke Steele F 7 4 3 0 57% (18) 17 Nightwing F 9 5 4 0 56% (19) 18 Tiger Claw H 42 22 18 2 55% (20) 19 The Sandman F 32 16 16 0 50% (21) 20 Cheshire H 12 6 6 0 50% (22) 21 Serge Annis N 11 5 5 1 50% (23) 22 The Hangman H 16 6 7 3 47% (24) 23 The Cell H 21 9 12 0 43% (25) 24 Ronnie Paris F 12 5 7 0 42% (26) 25 "Badboy" Randy Acorn H 10 4 6 0 40% (27) 26 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Derek Mota H 2 2 0 0 100% (28) 27 Duncan Macbeth N 1 1 0 0 100% (29=) 28= Ike Sampson F 1 1 0 0 100% (29=) 28= Tony Starks F 3 2 1 0 67% (31) 30 Spur H 4 1 3 0 25% (32) 31 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************ ----------------------- IIWF TAG TEAM RANKINGS ----------------------- ************************************************************************ as at 5/4/97 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name of team F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Pain Inc. H 21 12 8 1 59% (8) WT The Harlequins N 8 6 2 0 75% (3) US ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Prophets of Rage H 7 6 1 0 86% (1) 1 Night Patrol H 6 5 1 0 83% (US) 2 Cold Spell F 6 5 1 0 83% (2) 3 Domination F 10 6 2 2 70% (4) 4 Rising Sun Revolution F 16 11 5 0 69% (5) 5 The Armed Forces H 29 19 9 1 67% (6) 6 High Plains Drifters H 30 18 11 1 62% (7) 7 The Dark Disciples H 14 7 6 1 54% (WT) 8 G.W.R. N 13 7 6 0 54% (9) 9 The Hangmen H 19 9 8 2 53% (10) 10 W & W Express H 6 3 3 0 50% (11) 11 The Zodiac Connection F 21 10 11 0 48% (12) 12 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Last Resort F - - - - - (-) - ------------------------------- on leave ------------------------------- The Players' Club F 14 6 8 0 43% (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************ ------------- COMING FRIDAY: Countdown to Saturday Night ------------- ************************************************************************ TD: Well, that's all the time we have this week. I certainly hope you've all enjoyed another edition of Inside the IIWF... oh, boy... Steve Roberts, what is the meaning of this? [Steve Roberts has re-entered the studio, minus his...friend.] SR: Don't worry, Dross. I'm not going to steal the spotlight from you any more than I have to. I just wanted to tell all the people out there in IIWF land... all the L'il Soundbiters out there... that if anyone would like to write to "Ask the Soundbite", they can do so at the following address: brokeback@webtv.net Your assistant, Mr. Jimmy, will personally go over each and every letter -- and I'll answer the best one -- right here, on next week's show. TD: Oh, Mr. Jimmy's not gonna like that at all. That's gonna cut into Mr. Jimmy's leisure time. It's baseball season, after all. SR: Don't worry about that, Dross. That loser's barely hanging on here as it is... one word from me to the boys in the front office, and he'll be out on his ass quicker than you can say Alex Rio. Just send in your letters to "Ask the Soundbite", folks... I'll do the rest! Hit it, Sparky! [The voice of Sparkplug Lee is again heard.] SL: The Soundbite has left the building! The Soundbite has left the building! [Cut back to Dross] TD: Well, be sure to tune into all the IIWF programming this week. Tomorrow night, of course, we'll have the recap of all the action from the IIWF Coliseum with the Wednesday War Room. Thursday, be sure to tune in to my tag team colleague... such as he is... Steve "Soundbite" Roberts' look at another of the great moments in IIWF history on IIWF Classics. Then on Friday, be sure to join Becky LaRue and my good friend, the hardest working man in the wrestling business, Larry Morton, with the finest pre-game show in the business -- "Countdown to Saturday Night." Finally, simply put, the IIWF brings you the most exciting, hardest-hitting, explosive weekly wrestling program in the world today -- two hours of live action on IIWF Saturday Night. So, for Steve Summer, Steve Roberts and all of us with IIWF news, this has been "Inside the IIWF". I'm Tim Dross -- Good night! [Dross shakes his head as "What I Say" by Ray Charles plays over the closing credits.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+