##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== "IIWF MONDAY MUSINGS" April 14, 1997 =============================================== ************************************************************************** ---------------------- IIWF SATURDAY NIGHT RECAP ----------------------- ************************************************************************** THE LAST RESORT def. HIGH PLAINS DRIFTERS DEREK MOTA def. RANDY ACORN LUKE STEELE def. MAD DOG WATKINS PAIN INC. def. THE ARMED FORCES MR. DAMAGE def. DEATHBRINGER RONNIE PARIS def. BILLY SHAKESPEARE OTTO VERHOEVEN def. TAKEZO MUSASHI LORD BYRON def. STEVE KOWALSKI TONY STARKS def. CASEY JAMES NO CONTEST: SUBWAY PSYCHO vs. CREED ************************************************************************** ------------------------ THE WRESTLERS SPEAK --------------------------- ************************************************************************** MAD DOG WATKINS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [SCENE: Mad Dog Watkins sits on a steel chair, backstage at the IIWF Coliseum in the official interview are. He is still dripping with sweat from his match before, and sits with a towel over his bald head.] MDW: All right "Real Deal"... you decided to step it up and come and play with the big boys. I'm glad to see you have the balls to think you can hang. But when you're picking your teeth up off of the floor, remember that I told you that I was going to kick your ass the next time I saw you. Think you can really silence the dog and make a name for yo'self? Son, you better sleep with that damn chair you cocked me with, because when you go to bed at night, all you're going to be able to think about is me and the whoopin' I've got waiting for you. And speaking of ass kickings waitin' to happen... Brody Thunder - I can't wait till I see yer ugly mug next week, son. Ol' Mad Dog seems to be among the hunted in the IIWF, but no one else matters except you, Brody. Steele's got his coming... Gecko's already regretting challenging me. But you - you're different - too bad I've got to destroy you. And do yourself a favor, Brody, and leave those Syndicate boys at home. This is man's fight... we don't need to involve the children. ======================================================================= BRODY THUNDER ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Brody Thunder is abruptly escorted into the interview area by the IIWF security squad. He shakes himself loose and stands in the center of the room dusting himself off. The camera gets a good close-up of him and we can see a large welt swelling around his left eye. His face is very red from the struggle. He seems to calm down and then begins to speak.] BT: Hey! Jus' turn me loose! Hold on here a minnit. I got me somethin' ta say an' I ain't leavin' 'til I say it! Now back off! Hey, kid...is that camera rollin'? [The camera nods.] Hey Watkins... jus' wanted ta let ya know I ain't fergot ya. I'm houndin' yer every step, son. I'm gonna see to it that I put ya outta this here sport fer good. It ain't ever gonna be finished 'til they throw the dirt on one o' us, my friend. You know it an' I know it. Hell... the IIWF's afraid o' it. An' come the Bash... yer also gonna find out what a man with a destiny will do to achieve it. I'm gonna be wearin' gold 'fore too long an' I ain't about ta let some two-bit tinhorn musclehead get in my way. [Thunder wipes his mouth with his forearm and smiles.] Dog... the next time we meet it ain't jus' gonna be another bloody war... [The smile disappears replaced by a grim look of anger.] ...it's gonna be yer armageddon. See ya soon, son. [Security steps in to escort him away but he shrugs them off again.] Hold it! I got one other thing ta say ta someone an' they know who they are. Yer right. We DO hafta stick together. Make the call. [Security now aggressively moves Thunder out of the interview area as he protests almost laughingly.] ======================================================================= ARMED FORCES ~~~~~~~~~~~~ [NavCom, fists clenched, stands in the IIWF Interview area.] NC: Well, what can I say? Pain, Inc. screwed us out of the titles again, only this time the deadbeats were actually in the match. Boys, you cost us the last title shot we ever had, and you lucked out in this one. The Armed Forces aren't concerned about the titles... we'll live to fight another day. Now onto the subject of the High Plains Drifters. Relations have never been great between our two teams, but I thought that we, perhaps, had built up a mutual respect for each other after so many epic battles. I, once again, was deceived. As poor DefCon is winging his way to the hospital, I stand here, outraged by your chicanery. That cheap three-dollars-a-bottle whiskey, spit into the eyes of my partner and life long friend... for that will certainly cost you, boys. You choked away a match to the Last Resort, because you couldn't keep your focus in the ring. We, however, we screwed out of a match because we got blindsided -- and nearly just plain blinded -- by your antics. I can only hope and pray that my brother-at-arms will be ready for action in time for our match. DefCon will get his chance to wreak havoc on your pitiful hides. Only then will the Armed Forces worry about such trivialities of life as gleaming gold belts. Pain, Inc., you're the lucky ones... because for now, our desire and focus centers on the hell-spawn cowboys known as the Drifters. ======================================================================= BILLY SHAKESPEARE ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Billy Shakespeare enters the interview area, his face is a smeared mask of sweat and makeup. He addresses the camera:] BS: "Cry Havoc! And let slip the dogs of war." Ronnie Paris... since you think I'm acting, let me pose this scenario to you: shamed by his actions, a guilty Billy Shakespeare GIVES a struggling young rookie the biggest win of his career. Don't spend too much time celebrating, for the slate has been wiped clean. Act V? Oh no, Ronnie Paris... the show is just beginning. Oh, and Ronnie Paris... I cry Havoc. [He abruptly exits.] ======================================================================= TONY STARKS ~~~~~~~~~~~ [SCENE: The IIWF Interview area, Starks stands with his back to the camera, his towel over his head and with the German Death Match contract in hand. He speaks with a cold tone.] TS: James, you are lucky, hell, I wouldn't even say that. It is more like Chris Quigley saved your pathetic ass for himself. There will be a time when I get that belt, believe me... it will come. Chris Quigley, what the hell is your problem, huh? That ice in Canada freeze that brain of yours? Bet your ass, I saw that you put "Cornbread's" or "Inbred" or whatever his name is this weeks leg on the ropes. I had him beat. There is going to come a time for you as well chump. You better skate your ass up to Canada and hide. Oh yeah... Otto... [Starks turns around staring into the camera] ...I accept the German Death Match. That cage is going to be the last thing you see, your last words "I Quit" and the last taste in your mouth, the pain and horror that I am going to give you. Heed those signs Otto: "Fear Starks!" [Starks continues to stare at the camera with an intense and cold gaze] ======================================================================= CREED ~~~~~ [Creed paces across the IIWF interview area minutes after his brutal battle with the Subway Psycho and his face-to-face encounter with the man known as Requiem. Creed is clearly agitated beyond a level of his traditionally steady demeanor.] CREED: Hey, Gimmick! Hey, Gimmick! You want some big dog tips? You wanted a better look at the Man, that why you all up in my business, Requiem? Subway Psycho got in my business - Subway Psycho got chokeslammed. Up to me - we're good Psycho. You want more - you know where to find me. Syndicate in my business - Syndicate got beat down. Psycho took care of James... Claw... ...and you, Thunder, listen up, boy, you got your thing - and I got mine - but you know damn well as me that there gonna come a day... there gonna come a day when our things cross - and I want you to remember what I gave you tonight. You remember that good, boy. That leaves you, Gimmick. You and me got business I don't know about? Well - maybe you want to be my business. The offer on the table, Gimmick. You want the streak? You want the shot? You want what I got? You want some, Gimmick? You want Creed? Come get Creed. ======================================================================= REQUIEM ~~~~~~~ [SCENE: The IIWF interview area, midnight. The area is illuminated only by the dim lights of dormant broadcasting equipment. Suddenly a noise is heard, "The Music Of The Unknowingly Damned" wafting through the air. Broadcasting equipment flickers into life as Requiem enters, playing his night black guitar.] REQUIEM: Deathbringer, you embrace death, devastation and darkness. I am Requiem, the Angel Of Destruction, the Herald of Damnation, and I embrace the glorious Light of creation, and spurn the Darkness of the Soul. We are two sides of the same coin, joined by forces beyond mortal comprehension. At Birthday Bash... ...we shall see whose mastery of Darkness is the truest. However, even though I am to face you, I must still continue my quest to seek out Darkness within the IIWF. Already I have seen yet another individual here in the IIWF whose soul lies in the balance, a man whose soul I must judge. "Anyone, anywhere, anytime." A proud boast. Just over a week ago, during IIWF Saturday Night, Creed laid down the challenge. This week... Requiem picks up the gauntlet. ======================================================================= THE SUBWAY PSYCHO ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [The Subway Psycho stands in the IIWF interview area, his head bandaged and traces of dried blood still on his face. He holds his taped fist up] SP: Tiger Claw you said you wanted taped fists... well you got that tonight! I had Mench nearby and ready with that roll of tape for the likely event of you showing up. I can keep this up for longer than you can imagine. You can storm in at me and try to get me from behind or we can fight face to face with no clear winner... that's been the pattern... through all of this there has never been a winner. That's why I don't care about it anymore. I don't care about the winning, about the gold, even about respect. The only thing I care about anymore is making you realize that I am the most vicious, brutal, unrelenting man that you have ever had the misfortune of knowing. You wanted a taped fist match... well I gave you a version of that. Now, it's about what I want. NO REF! NO RULES! NOT EVEN A [BLEEP]IN' WINNER! A cage, with the two of us locked in it for 45 minutes. No pinfalls, submissions, or DQs can end this match... only the clock. And at the end, we won't need a referee to raise the hand of the winner. The winner will know he's won and the loser will know he's done. [Turns as if he's finished, then stops.] Creed... you gave me an excellent battle. Maybe another day we'll finish what we started. ======================================================================= JOE PETROW ~~~~~~~~~~ [Soon after the carnage of IIWF Saturday Night, "Sychosys" Joe Petrow stalks onto the set. He is carrying a folding chair, but speaks rather calmly, as he peers through the hole between the seat back and cushion] JP: Words... it's the way a civilized, intelligent society communicates with one another. But with some people, you gotta get a little more basic. For some people, who are so stupid that they actually screw themselves out of a potential PPV World's title match, mere words just won't get the message across! With these people, the only chance you have of getting your message across is by action! And thank God almighty, Sychosys is a man of action! But you see Kowalski, while my words may be eloquent, my actions are as blunt as your skull! So maybe you want to try real hard this time to make out what I'm saying! We coulda kept this simple, we coulda make this thing of ours to be about wrestling, about who was the better man... hell, it could have even been fun! But all you know is destruction! All you know is pain and suffering, mostly at your opponent's expense! So now I have to meet you at your game! Now we've taken what could have been a match the IIWF could be proud of, and turned it into gang warfare! Why? I don't know, and I don't care anymore! Violence for the sake of violence works for me! [Joe drops the chair below his face, and speaks more intensely] May 10th, Birthday Bash, it ain't about winning anymore, it's about survival! You, me, the Sychopaths, the Furies, everyone! And you don't get by in life with this [touches the scars on his face with the chair] unless you're a survivor! And people don't come to cheer a guy like Joe Petrow unless they've got some battle scars of their own! And if you want a piece of me before then... hey, anytime, anywhere, [BLEEP] YOU! [Joe throws the chair at the camera, which crashes to the ground, as Petrow storms off the set] ======================================================================= IKE SAMPSON ~~~~~~~~~~~ [The rookie stands in the IIWF interview area] IS: All right, Mota, count me in. You want a triangle match?! Sounds good to me. A chance to get you and that MacBean loser in the ring at the same time, a chance to administer the beating you both deserve at the same time. Count me in. You may be the front office's golden boy, Mota. Spreadbury's putting you on all his shows. You must be the chosen one. But my fans know better. They're on the winning team. Ike Sampson's a bullet train to the top of the ladder. Don't get caught on the tracks, boys. Beat the golden boy. That's the way to do it. Both of you clowns in the ring at the same time... looks like you _can_ have your cake and eat it, too. Birthday Bash, boys. Be there. ======================================================================= DUNCAN MACBETH ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [SCENE: The IIWF interview area is darkened and shadows dance on the set as Duncan Macbeth sharpens a long two-handed claymore.] DM: Aaah, there we are... just as beautiful and dangerous as th' day ye were forged! Ye've been somewhat ill-used of late, me beauty, but ye haven't lost yuir edge! [Macbeth raises the heavy sword with one hand as if it were a child's toy. He regards it thoughtfully for a moment, then turns back to the camera, his countenance becoming colder.] DM: Derek Mota, ye're one lucky little bollix, lad. Las' Wednesday was one o' th' few times in th' history o' me family tha' this 'ere sword was unsheathed an' did nae taste someone's blood! Och, I really cannae believe wha' an unbelievable eejit ye are!!! Did ye REALLY think ye'd interefere in me business, an' I wouldn't DO anythin' about it?! Ye ACTUALLY believed tha' ye could stick yuir nose in one o' me matches, an' get away wi' it?! I dinnae ken wha' kind o' wrestlers ye've dealt wi' in th' past fer ye t' be o' such an opinion, but where I come from, it's blow fer blow, claw fer claw, stripe fer stripe!!! Well, now we're even - an' ye'd be foolish t' upset tha' balance ag'in, mark me! [Macbeth brings his face closer to the camera, his unblinking green eyes locked on the lens.] I ken wha's goin' on in tha' wee noggin o' yuirs, Mota. Ye're nae th' only newcomer t' th' IIWF, so ye've decided t' make as big an arse o' yuirself as ye can t' get attention. Well, I've been in th' game fer a long time, an' I've seen it all before. Ye're a wee tosser playin' a wee tosser's game, an' if ye're nae careful, th' only attention ye'll be gettin' will be from th' staff in th' emergency room! Tell ye wha', wee man - this "triangle match" ye're whinin' fer at Birthday Bash...why dinnae we ferget about th' extra baggage, an' just make it ye an' I? In fact... why dinnae we make it a Highlan' strap match - wha' ye Sassenach sods refer to as a "lumberjack match" - nae one gets in, an' nae one gets out without gettin' the livin' Jaysis beat out o' him by sixteen men wi' leather straps! We both ken who th' real players are here, an' I want th' satisfaction o' knowin' tha' th' day after th' Bash, when ye're achin' an' hurtin' an' bleedin' an' barely able t' walk, ye ken tha' Duncan Macbeth an' Duncan Macbeth ALONE was responsible fer yuir sorry state! As fer this "future o' th' IIWF" bollocks, th' IIWF existed before ye, Mota, an' it'll still exist when ye're gone. Th' only future ye should be concerned about is yuir own - 'cause th' day ye decided t' fool wi' me, yuir future got a whole lot darker! ======================================================================= THE ZODIAC CONNECTION ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [The entire Zodiac entourage stands in the IIWF Interview area] GEMINI: So, we have been asked not to appear at ringside for matches involving the Zodiac Connection because of some complaints filed by the Prophets of Rage and Pathetic, Inc. TAURUS: Pain, Inc. what makes you think that you have any right to demand that Hades the horrible has any right to be at ringside? You sit back and whine about how Gemini and the Harlequin ladies seem to be the only ones allowed at ringside. If you notice, we are not sitting back and whining our hearts out about how our boy Cancer has been removed from ringside! We will say this, if one bodyguard is allowed to continue at ringside, we see no reason why another bodyguard isn't allowed to be at ringside. Cancer has only reacted in a defensive manner. If it wasn't for him, Scorpio wouldn't be able to walk at all! Mr. Mic and the Prophets, you bozos are just pathetically mad because you do not have the power of thought like the Gemini twins have. The ability to know what your twin is thinking is a very special thing... and that's why they have been able to communicate with each other even when they are across the ring from one another. SCORPIO: And I would love for you to show us any matches in which either of the twins have acted alone in an action. Sorry Mr. Mic, you are going to have to do a whole lot better before you show the Zodiac Connection any reason why you should be afforded the special benefit of having a bodyguard. If anybody should be afforded special privileges, it should be us. After all, we are the only ones who have wrestled on more than one occasion when we were not prepared. Remember, we weren't even originally scheduled to compete on the night we lost the belts... but that's water under the bridge! ======================================================================= W &W EXPRESS ~~~~~~~~~~~~ [The W & W Express come to the interview platform] WAYNE: Well, well, well, It's about time the IIWF suits got off their asses and did something. All these worthless teams that bring an army to the ring will now have to rely on their ability. I think things are going to get easier. WATSON: We don't need no two-bit loser managers getting in our way. The Express stands alone and the Express fights alone. We'll win alone and we'll lose alone. WAYNE: It looks like the Zodiac Connection wants a piece of us. You guys made a big mistake sticking your nose in our business. Name the time and place, we'll fight you guys anytime. We'll give you the wrestling lesson of your life. WATSON: The Zodiac Connection is one of those teams that can't fend for themselves so they need outside help. You guys are going to need the U.N. peacekeeping forces after we're done with you. WAYNE: Then there are those new guys. The Last Resort. It looks like the IIWF is letting just about anyone in. Come on, you guys aren't real wrestlers. You guys should be in a damn circus. WATSON: EL Diablo and the Masked Accident couldn't wrestle their way out of a paper bag. ======================================================================= COLD SPELL ~~~~~~~~~~ [Edmund Fitzgerald is alone in the IIWF interview area] EF: First of all, I'd like to thank the IIWF for their recent decision to ban entourages from ringside. Icehawk and I appreciate the decision - we just wish it had been in place for Ring Wars, so that we could have been the tag champs instead of the IIWF's forgotten team. But I'm also going to ask the IIWF to make an exception to that rule. Harlequins, I'm challenging you to a match at Birthday Bash. We were willing to be your allies, and help you out, but your little witch decided it was more fun to burn a naive kid. Fine... but you've started something that you won't be able to finish. And, Comedy, I want you to be at ringside... because I can't hit you for what you did to Icehawk, but I can make damn sure you have to watch what I'm going to do to Tragedy. [Fade] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+