[Cut to footage subtitled, "Last Saturday Night." The IIWF Interview Area, where Chris Quigley stands, with a bloody lip, but otherwise unscathed, considering what he was up against earlier in the night.] CQ: Yeah, everyone's wondering whose side I'm on? What the hell am I doing sticking my nose in everyone's business? I'll tell ya whose side I'm on! _My own_! And why am I coming out to put my two cents into Casey James' matches? Because I damn well want to, and the Syndicate can't stop me! Tony Starks can't stop me, and Dan Spreadbury can't stop me! Y'see James, you can talk all you like about how I'm gonna beat myself and how I'm going to self-destruct before Birthday Bash, but it just shows you don't have a damn clue! You're not gonna know _what_ you're facing at the Bash, I can guarantee that! [Quigley stares into the camera, determinedly, as the opening graphics explode onto the screen:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== W + E + D + N + E + S + D + A + Y W + A + R R + O + O + M ----------------------------------------------- + 23 April 1997 + [Fade through to a darkened studio: a figure sits behind a curved desk, behind which a large video wall, made up of a number of individual television screens, fades into life, each screen showing highlights from a different recent IIWF match. The studio lights rise, and the figure is revealed to be veteran announcer Tim Dross, who looks up from his papers and speaks:] TD: Howdy, folks, and welcome once more to the War Room here at IIWF headquarters in lovely Portland, Oregon. The headlong dash to the IIWF's first birthday, and its associated pay-per-view special, Birthday Bash, continues, and a number of the superstars involved in that great event were on hand at tonight's house show in the IIWF Coliseum, the action of which is the focus of the next sixty minutes. [Dross turns to face another camera. The shot cuts to follow him.] As you saw at the top of the show, Chris Quigley responded to the question which has been posed by many folks after his actions on Saturday Night, in which his interference in the World title match between Casey James and Tony Starks was instrumental in the Syndicate's lynchpin keeping hold of the belt. Tonight, both Quigley and James were in action in the Coliseum. Over the next sixty minutes, I'll be bringing you details of their matches, and more. [Footage of earlier action rolls on the video wall behind the desk: the Last Resort walk to the ring carrying a tray of takeaway donuts and coffee.] TD: A gesture of goodwill or a send-up? The Last Resort were kind enough to bring a few pre-match refreshments for Night Patrol -- but neglected to bring me any. [Footage of Billy Shakespeare, his face still bedecked in the gloomy "tragedy" mask makeup, makes his way to the ring.] TD: Billy Shakespeare tonight faced a man whom he last wrestled under the guise of his alter ego, Spur. Last time around, he simply walked out on Majestic Maurice McArthur. Did he do the same tonight? I'll tell you. [Footage of the Cell, flanked by an entourage of "cloakers" and led to the ring by Oak, making his way down the aisle.] TD: Despite a clampdown on the activities of Oak's cult, which indirectly led to the sudden departure from the IIWF of Domination earlier this week, the Cell came down to the ring for his match tonight with a full entourage. But were ten heads better than one? [Footage of Ike Sampson ducking under a spinning heel kick from Tiger Claw.] TD: The old guard and the new blood clashed in the ring tonight as "big dog" Ike Sampson went up against three-time Intercontinental Champion, Tiger Claw. A classic power versus speed battle, and I'll give you the details. [Footage of Mad Dog Watkins laying into El Super Gecko, who is trapped in the corner.] TD: El Super Gecko issued the challenge to Mad Dog Watkins -- tonight, the match went down. But would Brody Thunder have a say in things? I'll tell you. [Footage of "Enigma" Takezo Musashi trapped in a chicken wing by Victor Killroy.] TD: And we have a special bonus main event for you tonight, folks. The "Enigma" Takezo Musashi attempts to shake off defeat at the hands of Otto Verhoeven last weekend with a match against Victor Killroy in the semifinals of the ESWP Junior Heavyweight Championship Tournament. We'll have that match for you, in full, later in the hour. [The IIWF logo fades back onto the video wall.] TD: So without further ado, let's get to the action, beginning with the Cell taking on Scott "the Whine" Bloom: [Images of the wrestlers and their stats roll onto the video wall:] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= The Cell vs. Scott "the Whine" Bloom 332lbs, 6'5" 220lbs, 6'1" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Oak seems unperturbed by the sudden departure of Domination from the ring wars -- and was, as ever, focused on victory for the Cell over his hapless opponent tonight: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Oak and The Cell stand alone before an IIWF backdrop:] Oak: Scott. Scott Bloom, you are a very unfortunate, stupid fellow. For starters, you're getting into the ring with a man who is destined to go straight back to the top of the rankings, in the Cell. [He pats the Cell's cloaked chest.] Scott, I realise you are in dire need of assistance, as I'm led to believe that you have never before won a match here. This man is cleansed, Scott, and he knows what he has to do to beat you. Fear not, Scott, he will not hurt you. He will just do what is necessary to put you away. There'll be no powerbomb, there'll be no chokeslam, just a few basic manoeuvres. Against a man like you he needs no more. Joe Petrow may put up slightly more resistance on Saturday Night, but I doubt it. This man's here to stay. [Cut back to the studio.] TD: And if tonight's match was any indication, the Cell could indeed be finding a new purpose and direction in the IIWF's rings. However, his solid performance in the ring -- which, as promised, relied not so much on the high-impact repertory of powerbombs and chokeslams, but more on the bone-bending slams, clotheslines and punches -- was overshadowed by the presence of no less than ten cloakers at ringside, as well, of course, as the omnipresent Oak. Poutine Janois, head of the IIWF Special Concerns Committee, made his way down to ringside before the match and exercised his powers to sanction additional stipulations: he claimed, and justifiably so in my opinion, that the presence of no less than eleven figures at ringside effectively turned the bout into a lumberjack match, and that no opponent could be expected to stay focused on the match when faced with ten "cloakers" at ringside. Janois threatened the Cell with automatic disqualfication if the "cloakers" were not banished from ringside -- initially, the cult seemed to resist the decision, but eventually, Oak sent the "cloakers" on their way, and the Cell was allowed to wrestle the match, which was, ironically enough, shorter in duration than the pre-match delay. The Cell scored the pinfall after a powerslam off the ropes. [WINNER: The Cell by pinfall in 2:44.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Serge Annis vs. Barnacle Brother Bluto 293lbs, 6'8" 250lbs, 6'0" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Some have accused Serge Annis of being a little eccentric, if not downright psychotic, and with his pre-match rituals of cutting his cheek and the shower of dead, black roses, few would argue. However, Annis appears to have turned his neuroses up a notch or five in the few weeks since he was last seen in the IIWF. Apparently, Annis has been pursuing a very full schedule in the UWF, another promotion in which he competes, and perhaps it is fatigue and stress that has caused his temper to be so short and his behaviour even more unpredictable -- traits which he exhibited tonight. Annis has been uncharacteristically quiet for the past few weeks, but his actions spoke louder than any words could tonight as he decimated Bluto, one half of the Barnacle Brothers, also making a return to the ring after sustaining minor injuries last week in a car accident. Annis hit power move after power move inside and outside the ring -- powerbombs, neckbreakers, DDTs, slams -- and could have finished the match within around sixty seconds. However, Annis chose to continue punishing his opponent, and risked disqualification for prolonging Bluto's suffering unduly. Eventually, Annis put Bluto away with his impressive chokeslam -- still one of the best in the sport -- and stormed out of the arena, threatening to attack fans at ringside as he went. No word as to when we'll next see or hear from the "Epitome of Evil". [WINNER: Serge Annis by pinfall in 6:48.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Billy Shakespeare vs. Majestic Maurice McArthur 230lbs, 6'2" 230lbs, 6'1" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: As I mentioned earlier, the last time Shakespeare stepped into the ring against McArthur, it was under the guise of Spur, back on January 22. In that match, "Spur" took his opponent out with a number of impressive manoeuvres, but then simply walked out, leaving McArthur to garner a countout victory -- his first in the IIWF. So was history to repeat itself tonight? Shakespeare made his way down to the ring, still bedecked in his somewhat sinister and disturbing "tragedy" makeup, and proceeded to efficiently disable McArthur with a similar offense as he used in his last match with Triple M, including such moves as a tilt-a-whirl Mexican armtoss, a jumping bulldog, and a scissors heel kick. Indeed, history did seem to be repeating itself, as Shakespeare left the ring and appeared to contemplate leaving, but decided against it, and returned to the squared circle, where a recovered Triple M hit him with some offense of his own. At this point, who should come down to ringside but the man who defeated Shakespeare last Saturday Night, Ronnie Paris. Despite being injured, Paris clearly wanted to interject himself into this match -- apparently, one hard-fought victory over Shakespeare doesn't constitute sufficient payback for the months of torment which "Spur" inflicted on the young Texan. Paris arrived sporting a sling for his injured right shoulder, and was uncharacteristically unkempt -- uncombed hair, clothes ripped, and a few days' growth of stubble on his face. Apparently he is distraught by the turn of events which has seen his fiancee Maggie Collins caught in the crossfire, and was out to cost Shakespeare his victory tonight. However, he is clearly inexperienced in rulebreaking tactics, and that manifested itself in a blatant trip attempt on Shakespeare, causing the referee to call the disqualification in Billy's favour. Shakespeare made no attempt to attack Paris, simply watching the Texan, who fired a barrage of verbal abuse at the troubled former Cruiserweight and Intercontinental Champion, head back to the locker room. What's next for Billy Shakespeare? How will he find his redemption? Only time will tell. [WINNER: Billy Shakespeare by disqualification in 7:38.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Mad Dog Watkins vs. El Super Gecko 269lbs, 6'5" 220lbs, 6'1" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: El Super Gecko made an unscheduled appearance on last Saturday night's live IIWF event, challenging Mad Dog Watkins from the safety of the video wall to a match at tonight's house show. Watkins was only too eager to accept, and came out into the match with a single objective: to send a message to Brody Thunder, and to send it loud and clear. Watkins will lock up with the "Lone Wolf" in only their third -- and perhaps final -- sanctioned match this coming Saturday Night, but these two athletes have clashed in more brawls than most of the other IIWF superstars put together. Tonight, Watkins unleashed some of his most hard-hiting, unrelenting manoeuvres and combinations, as if any further evidence of his intestinal fortitude and endurance was required. Watched from the stands by Thunder -- who tonight, somewhat surprisingly, refrained from charging the ring and attacking Watkins -- Watkins battered the Gecko from bell to bell, showcasing in particular his famous array of suplexes. Both Watkins and Thunder boast a number of impressive suplexes in their repertories, and it will be interesting to see how many of those scientific holds come out in their match this Saturday, or whether it's just going to be yet another knock-down, drag-out brawl. After being put away by the "Every Dog Has His Day" fallaway slam off the ropes, the Gecko must have lamented the questionable wisdom of ever having made the challenge to Watkins -- but he'll have plenty of time to think about that as he nurses his bruises in the days to come. [WINNER: Mad Dog Watkins by pinfall in 8:52.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley vs. Jumpin' Jack 238lbs, 6'1" 250lbs, 6'1" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Chris Quigley is, as always, right at the centre of things here in the IIWF, and he must surely have been expecting a number of assailants to attack him when he stepped into the ring to face Jumpin' Jack. However, in a bizarre turn of events, both "Sychosys" Joe Petrow and Steve "the Fury" Kowalski appeared on two separate occasions during the match. Quigley controlled the match right from the bell, as might be expected, giving Jack a true wrestling lesson -- holding the clown down with submission holds, stepping up the pace to take the bigger man off his feet -- but it looked as if the lesson would be interrupted when Joe Petrow ran down towards the ring. However, he stopped when he was only fifteen or twenty feet from the ring, seemed to think to himself for a few moments, and then threw up his hands as if to say, "Aw, forget it!", before heading back to the locker room without incident. Although Petrow's aborted intentions remain a mystery, Steve Kowalski certainly clarified his own. As Quigley finished Jumpin' Jack off with the Quickstriker for the submission victory, Steve Kowalski was fighting his way past security backstage. Let's go to footage from this incident: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." As Quigley makes his way back up the aisle, hi-fiving the fans on the way, Steve "the Fury" Kowalski comes marching out. Quigley, ready for anything, prepares for what seems to be a nasty situation... that never happens. Kowalski ignores Quigley and keeps marching to the ring. Quigley, seeing no danger for himself, makes his way to the locker room. The New Jersey Nightmare, however, has business, grabbing the mic from Sparkplug Lee and rolling into the ring, where a weak Triple M is waiting for the inevitable. McArthur is victim to a stiff forearm that sends him over the top rope and to the floor. Kowalski speaks his mind.] SK: I'm here! I'm here! Where are ya, Petrow?! I can see yer scum suckin' fans all over the joint, but I don't see yer crasy ass anywhere! Ya came out here but thought better of it, huh? Can't say I blame ya! [The Sychopaths at ringside scream and hurl garbage at the ring, attempting to hit the New Jersey Nightmare.] SK: Go on... toss all the [BLEEP] in! Throw yer garbage in! Yer buddy Pertow jus' walked into the real world! Ya walked into a world where the Fury rules an' no amount of insanity is gonna save ya. Ya can fool all these other [Pointing to the crowd.] pricks but I can see right through ya. Ya put that bag over my head an' ya tried to choke the Fury out, but it wasn't 'nuff! I can see the fear in yer eyes! Everyone else thinks its "craziness"... I _know_ its fear. So ya can hide in yer little mad world, 'cause yer on the clock! An' time's runnin' out! [The Furies go wild and the Sychopaths/Furies scuffles start up. Security rushes down to ringside to control things. The Fury, however, continues unabated.] SK: I ain't done! Dog Chow! Ya re the most gutless bastard to ever be reborn! Ya defend the title against a jobber?! Now ya gonna defend it 'gainst Dirty Dog?! Last time I looked, _I_ was the #1 contender fer the strap! Ya can't duck me no more! I will hunt yer ass down an' skin ya! Ya don't even deserve to be in a match with me, but ya have somethin' I want. Somethin' ya haven't earned yet! So what do ya say we get it on... _one_ week 'fore I dismantle "Crazy" Joe at the Bash? I promised him a title shot... an' the Fury always delivers! ["Don't Fear the Reaper" starts up as Kowalski makes his way out of the arena. Cut back to the studio.] TD: So the Fury has laid down the gauntlet -- no pun intended -- to the White Phoenix for a Cruiserweight Championship match on May 3, just seven days before Birthday Bash. What an encounter that's going to be! Fans, Chris Quigley has been invited to air his views on the comments directed at him by the IIWF World Champion, Casey James, live this Saturday Night before he faces off against the Subway Psycho in what is sure to be a tremendous match. Don't miss one moment of the action coming your way this Saturday Night! [WINNER: "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley by pinfall in 7:18.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Casey "Blackheart" James vs. Bobby B. Goode 340lbs, 6'6" 240lbs, 6'1" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Casey James has been described before as 340lbs of muscle and bad attitude -- but that description seemed positively one-dimensional tonight when the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion wrestled Bobby B. Goode in non-title action. James' intensity was still very much evident, but he also tonight showcased a side of his wrestling personality not seen since his days as Casey "Whitebread" James, adored American hero. James stunned the Coliseum's capacity crowd with a display of technical wrestling which seemed totally at odds with his usual power-based brawling and high-impact tactics. We saw submission manoeuvres, suplexes, European uppercuts, open hands rather than fists -- it was clear that Casey was sending a message to his Birthday Bash opponent, Chris Quigley, who has accused him of being a brawny but untalented and technical unsound athlete. It appears that James is more than able to mix it up on the mat when the need arises, and he put Bobby B. Goode away via submission with a painful Texas Cloverleaf. [WINNER: Casey James by submission in 9:51.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Ike Sampson vs. Tiger Claw 304lbs, 6'6" 220lbs, 6'2" =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Fans in the Coliseum saw a real clash of styles when these two athletes went at it. Ike Sampson, the impressive and powerful newcomer, was able to easily overpower the smaller Tiger Claw, but the Syndicate's most successful champion demonstrated the skills that have taken him to three Intercontinental Championships, taking everything Sampson could dish out, and coming back with offense of his own. The presence at ringside of Brian Lau, Casey James and Brody Thunder proved distracting for Sampson, who also seemed to be on the lookout for interference from Derek Mota or Duncan Macbeth. Mota, Macbeth and Sampson all made their IIWF debuts on the same show a few weeks ago, and already a heated rivalry has erupted between the three men, each trying to outdo the other and be the first to climb the ladder to the top of the IIWF. However, the odds were stacked against Sampson tonight, and he cost himself a big victory by letting his temper getting the better of him. Ike started off well, dominating Claw for the first few minutes, and infuriating the Syndicate by encouraging the fans to join in with chants of "We like Ike!" However, judicious interference by James and Thunder from the outside, such as tripping Sampson when the referee's back was turned, allowed Tiger Claw to regain control of the match, and it looked as if Claw would take the victory. However, when he went for his high-risk Golden Tiger Strike, the flying knee drop from the top rope, Sampson was able to move out of the way, and Claw crashed to the mat, apparently down for the count. However, as Sampson made the cover in the corner, Brian Lau leaped to the apron, distracting the official, and allowing Thunder to drag Sampson out of the ring under the bottom rope. Sampson then became embroiled in a brawl with Thunder and James, and ended up being counted out. Once again, the Syndicate demonstrated that strength in numbers is a defining factor in their success -- and Sampson, handed his first IIWF defeat, somewhat undeservingly, will undoubtedly be asking for a rematch with Tiger Claw in the very near future. [WINNER: Tiger Claw by countout in 15:33.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= W & W EXPRESS vs. ZODIAC CONNECTION Doug Wayne & Clark Watson Scorpio & Taurus comb. 500lbs comb. 575lbs =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: The dark horses of the IIWF's tag team division went up against former World Tag Team Champions, the Zodiac Connection. With the recent announcement that no valets or managers are to be permitted at ringside in tag team matches until an agreement is reached concerning non-wrestling personnel, the Zodiac Connection, who ascribe their title success to the arrival of their twin managers, Gemini, may have been a little concerned going into this match. However, they had planned for the eventuality... Both teams had comments before their match: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." The W & W Express stand in the locker room.] WAYNE: Another Wednesday night and we got the Zodiac Connection. After we dispose of these punks the IIWF suits got to start giving us some serious recognition. The whole league still wants to ignore us. We are like the disease that just won't go away. WATSON: Every week more people are infected by us. There is no cure. And Zodiacs, I think your time is up. You guys have had a nice run, but welcome to the your brick wall. The buck stops here. WAYNE: You guys started this by stickiing your nose where it doesn't belong. Now we're going to finish it. WATSON: And one last thing. If those two blonde bimbos you guys bring to the ring wanna get involved, they are going to be slapped. You may be exempt from some IIWF laws, but you guys aren't exempt from our laws. WAYNE: See you losers in the ring. [The screen spins. Cut to Scorpio and Taurus of the Zodiac Connection, standing in their locker room.] SCORPIO: IIWF, we must respect and obey the decision that you have made concerning the ringside participants. TAURUS: A good team plans for matters such as this accordingly! SCORPIO: You can learn a lot from us Pathetic, Inc. [Cut back to the studio.] TD: And indeed the Zodiacs did have an ingenious solution to the restrictions -- Scorpio and Taurus came down to the ring not from the locker room, but from one of the executive boxes high in the stands, and wearing radio transceiver headsets! It turned out that Gemini were sitting in the box with microphones, shouting instructions to whichever Zodiac was on the apron wearing a headset, who then relayed the instructions to the man in the ring... An unorthodox, but effective, solution, and one which paid dividends in their match tonight. The strategy of the Express was obvious: to go at the Zodiacs right from the bell and use all means necessary to take the victory. However, the guidance of the Gemini twins seemed to keep the Zodiacs out of trouble, but when the fight spilled out to the concrete floor, things looked bad for Scorpio, who had been trapped in the ring for more than ten minutes, taking the brunt of the punishment from the Express. Watson and Scorpio were brawling on the floor, when Wayne grabbed a steel chair. Thanks to the communication relayed from Gemini by Taurus, Scorpio was able to dodge out of the way -- and Wayne labeled his own partner with the chair! Scorpio rolled Watson back into the ring and made the tag to the powerful Taurus, who was then able to pin Wayne after a powerbomb. [WINNERS: Zodiac Connection by pinfall in 17:33.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= THE LAST RESORT vs. NIGHT PATROL El Diablo & Masked Avenger Lt. Keene & Sgt. Blazer comb. 515lbs comb. 530lbs =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= TD: Early indications show that the Last Resort do indeed have what it takes to succeed in the cut-and-thrust tag team ranks of the IIWF, despite all indications being that they should fail. El Diablo is past his prime, and the Masked Avenger appears to be greener than a dollar bill. However, with the experience of Mr. Friday behind them, and the fans' growing support, the Resort are determined to continue having fun in the squared circle -- and out of it: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier This Week." El Diablo and the Masked Avenger stand on the set of "Homicide: Life on the Streets".] ED: You know this isn't real. I think we should go. MA: This must have been what it was like when Night Patrol were real policemen. ED: This is only TV program set. MA: Running around shooting all those baddies all the time must have been real nifty! ED: This is not what I meant when I said I want to see where they train. This isn't even Houston -- they policemen in Houston. MA: Oh, erm... sorry. [El Diablo shakes his head.] ED: Night Patrol, we very much look forward to our match. We hope we have good fair fight, now that you have lost shackles that were Pain Inc. We glad you show you are now honourable men. MA: Yeah, if policemen are bad, who can we trust? Especially the little kiddies. [A man comes out of a building and starts to shout:] MAN: HEY YOU! Yeah, you, I thought I told you to clear off ages ago! I'm warning you -- if you don't go, I'm gonna call the cops. ED: I think we go now. MA: Yeah, and Night Patrol, we'll bring something for you on Wednesday to remind you how things used to be. [The screen spins. Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Night Patrol stand in the IIWF interview area.] BH: Men, it seems the powers that be here in the IIWF have ran into a legal snag from The Whiners of Rage and our erstwhile colleague, Mr. Mic. At least now we'll see who the best teams are until this mess gets straightened out. I for one would like to thank the IIWF for their tough but fair ruling and offer to help represent their case should it go to court. DK: Aww, poor loser tag teams... can't take a 2-on-2 fight, so ya have to fight 4-on-2? Well, now you'll find out how to really fight fair! JB: That's not a problem with Last Resort... BH: True... Mr. Friday has a clean reputation, along with two vetereans to offer in the ring... Formidable newcomers, but newcomers still. DK: Now we'd like to talk to Pain Inc. a bit... You know something, punks? All this talk of managers this and managers that make us want to get it out of the way... so then, you Indonesian Idiots, leave the belts at home on Birthday Bash, and let's fight non-title. If you win, congratulations, you're the better team, and we won't fight for the World titles as long as you have them. If we win, we're still top contenders, AND Brenda here gets five full minutes of fightin' with the poor little rich boy, Mr. Mic! JB: See you May 10, Suckas! [Cut back to the studio.] TD: And as promised, the Last Resort did indeed have a special welcoming present for Night Patrol -- the Masked Avenger presented Lt. Keene with a tray of takeway donuts and coffee, and didn't appear to want to get underway with the match. Keene extended his hand to the Avenger for a handshake, but the young wrestler didn't appear to want to return the gesture. Eventually, the two men shook hands, and Keene paused for a moment, as if he recognised the Avenger somehow, but then shook his head. The match officially underway, the Avenger did his best to stay out of Keene's grasp, but he was eventually caught by a frankensteiner off the ropes, and the tide appeared to have turned. However, the Avenger then rolled out of the way when Keene attempted an elbow smash from the top rope, and attempted to apply the leglock which he was working so hard on during training last week. Eventually, at the third attempt, he succeeded, but by that stage, Keene reached the ropes, and the referee called for the break. Keene tagged in Blazer, and the Avenger attempted to hit the big man with a series of high-impact manoeuvres. He missed a dropkick, a clothesline, and fluffed a crucifix, but then brought a huge pop from the fans as he executed a hurricarana perfectly, snapping Blazer to the canvas with force. The Avenger tagged in El Diablo, who attempted to grapple with Blazer, but the ex-cop was able to keep the Mexican at arm's length, and power out of his submission holds. Blazer eventually tagged Keene back in, and the pace of the match was stepped up once more. Keene appeared to be trying to wear out the older El Diablo, but he must have under-estimated the stamina of Mexican athletes -- many of whom continue competing at the highest level into their fifties -- and El Diablo matched the ex-cop move for move. Eventually, Blazer was tagged in once more, and he whipped El Diablo across the ring. As he hit the ropes, Diablo extended a hand to the Avenger and made the tag, then ducked under a clothesline as he continued on his run. Blazer turned his back on the Avenger, who snuck up behind him, and Diablo hit him with a flying dropkick, knocking him over backwards, where the Avenger was kneeling in wait. The Avenger got a handful of tights and rolled Blazer up for a shock three count -- so the upset merchants score another victory against top-notch IIWF competition! The Patrol were understandably frustrated at the loss, and the Last Resort quickly headed away from ringside, leaving Blazer and Keene to comiserate about their defeat. [WINNERS: The Last Resort by pinfall in 19:39.] =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= ESWP Junior Heavyweight Championship Tournament Match: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Enigma" Takezo Musashi vs. Victor Killroy ----------------------------------------------------------------------- WRITER: DL TD: Okay, folks, it's time for tonight's special bonus main event. A few weeks ago on IIWF Saturday Night, we witnessed a tremendous match between the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi and Billy Shakespeare, each man vying for a spot in the ESWP Junior Heavyweight Championship Tournament, which will culminate in a final this weekend at ESWP's next pay-per-view event, After Dark. As history records, it was the "Enigma" who advanced in the tournament, and this past Monday night, he went up against one Victor Killroy, who had defeated Harlequin Tragedy on an ESWP broadcast to reach the second round. We go now to that match, in full, courtesy of ESWP Monday Night. Your commentators are Mark K. Fabian and Brittany Von Kelsing: [Cut to footage subtitled, "Courtesy of ESWP Monday Night." Mark K. Fabian and Brittany Von Kelsing are seated at the broadcast table. The ring announcer steps into the squared circle and raises his microphone:] YY: The following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is a semi-final tournament match for the ESWP WORLD JUNIOR HEAVYEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! [Crowd pop. "Misirilou" by Dick Dale and his Del Tones plays as Victor Killroy and Mr. Black head to the ring.] YY: Intoducing first, accompanied by his manager MR. BLACK. From Atlantic City, New Jersey weighing 225 pounds. One half of the Redeemers, here is VICTOR KILLROY! MKF: Killroy having just barely sqeaked by a distracted Tragedy last week is looking to advance to the final round tonight against one of the IIWF's finest. BVK: Like, so what? We've got, like, twelve belts already? Do we really, like, need another? MKF: You obviously have never seen the kind of action a Junior Heavyweight Title can bring to a league. BVK: WhatEVER! [Unfamiliar music plays over the PA system. The crowd erupts into cheers as Takezo Musashi heads to the ring.] YY: And his opponent, from the IIWF. From Tokyo, Japan weighing 211 pounds... "ENIGMA" TAKEZO MUSASHI! MKF: Interesting music from the former IIWF Cruiserweight Champion. BVK: Yeah, it's like a mystical, cosmic, oriental sounding thing. MKF: That it is... HEY! You're just reading the promo! BVK: So? [DING! DING! DING!] MKF: And this match begins, lock up by Killroy and Musashi. Killroy with a go-behind into a chicken wing, but the Enigma nails him with an elbowsmash. Musashi to the ropes, comes off and hits Killroy with a handspring moonsault! [Musashi makes the cover. The referee makes the count - 1 - 2 - But Killroy gets a shoulder up in time!] BVK: Okay, so, like, when does the action begin? MKF: Pay attention! Musahi with a suplex attempt, but Killroy blocks it and responds with a Fisherman's Suplex, but doesn't keep it held for the pin. Killroy sets Musaski up, and nails him with a piledriver! Lateral press and... [The referee makes the count - 1 - 2 - Kickout!] BVK: Ow, that can hurt! I think... MKF: I doubt that you do. Killroy picks Musashi up off the mat and nails him with a knife edge shot to the throat. Musashi's stunned and Killroy follows up with a superkick that sends the former IIWF Champion through the ropes to the arena floor! BVK: Hey! No fair! MKF: Brittany? BVK: Yes? MKF: BE QUIET! Musashi is stirring. Killroy is going to take a risk as he climbs to the top rope. Musashi isn't aware of where Killroy is. Killroy leaps off with a Shooting Star Press... Musashi nails him with a reverse savate kick! Incredible! BVK: Wow! MKF: Musashi tosses Killroy back into the ring. Mr. Black doesn't like the way things are looking. He's calling to the back! BVK: That Enigma guy is on the top rope! MKF: And here comes Solomon Grundy. But Musashi is already at the top and... The STARSAULT PRESS! BVK: Wow! A triple somersault into that moon thing! MKF: Musashi hooks the leg and... [The referee makes the count - 1 - 2 - 3! DING! DING! DING!] MKF: Grundy's too late, but he's taking it out on Musashi anyway! YY: Here is your winner, advancing to the final round... "ENIGMA" TAKEZO MUSASHI! MKF: And the Redeemers are trying to get some vengeance from this loss. Grundy hold Musashi as Killroy geos for a Yakuza kick, but the Enigma moves out of the way in time. Mr. Black tosses Killroy a chair... and here come the Harlequins! BVK: What are they doing here? MKF: The World Tag Team Champions hit the ring, and it appears the Redeemers want nothing to do with them. Killroy and Grundy will go to the back, and Musashi it appears will be the man to face The Prince of Darkness on Saturday Night. BVK: I still don't get why those guys ran in. MKF: Well, back when Musashi was IIWF Cruiserweight Champion, he gave Tragedy a title shot. I guess there is a bit of respect between the Harlequin leader and Musashi. [Tragedy talks to a tired Musashi who nods his head. Tragedy then raises Musashi's hand. Huge crowd pop as Musashi's music plays.] MKF: And we now know who the two finalists in the Junior Heavyweight Tournament will be. This Saturday at Club La Vela in Panama City Beach, Florida, it will be The Prince of Darkness taking on the Enigma. BVK: Like, wow! MKF: I certainly hope I don't have to work with you. [Cut back to the studio.] TD: So there you have it, folks -- the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi will be competing at After Dark this weekend! You can be sure that we'll bring you all the highlights of that match next week. [The IIWF logo fades from the video wall and the logo for the Saturday show takes its place. Dross turns to face another camera.] TD: Well, that just about wraps it up here in the War Room for tonight, folks -- but there's plenty more IIWF action coming your way this week. Tomorrow night, Steve Roberts will be here with another trip back into the IIWF archives with IIWF Classics, and on Friday, Larry Morton and Becky LaRue will "Countdown to Saturday Night". Then, on Saturday -- get ready for an incredible lineup, featuring Chris Quigley battling the Subway Psycho, Creed facing Requiem, Brody Thunder going one-on-one against Mad Dog Watkins, the White Phoenix defending his Cruiserweight Championship against the Dirt Dog Unique Allah, and the Harlequins defending the United States Tag Team Championships against the Prophets of Rage. What a night it's going to be -- but for now, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! [The lights in the studio drop and the video wall fades to blackness as Dross resumes shuffling his papers. Fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+