##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== "IIWF MONDAY MUSINGS" April 28, 1997 =============================================== ************************************************************************** ---------------------- IIWF SATURDAY NIGHT RECAP ----------------------- ************************************************************************** JOE PETROW def. THE CELL COLD SPELL def. RISING SUN REVOLUTION HIGHWAYMAN def. CHRIS HERFORTH DUNCAN MACBETH def. OTTO VERHOEVEN PROPHETS OF RAGE def. THE HARLEQUINS THE WHITE PHOENIX def. DIRT DOG UNIQUE ALLAH SUBWAY PSYCHO def. CHRIS QUIGLEY DRAW: CREED vs. REQUIEM DOUBLE COUNT OUT: BRODY THUNDER vs. MAD DOG WATKINS ************************************************************************** ------------------------ THE WRESTLERS SPEAK --------------------------- ************************************************************************** JOE PETROW ~~~~~~~~~~ [Joe enters the set, and assumes the Chris Quigley "ticked off at the world" pose] JP: Yo Kowalski, did you think attacking me with an object that's banned in 21 states and condemned by 3 major religions would put me down for long? I don't know what you're thinking now Fury, but I just want to give you credit for something. You said something last week that was right on the money. You said that wasn't craziness in my eyes. You were right! Craziness comes from a man who doesn't know what he's doing. I know exactly what I'm doing. I ain't crazy. You're just too stupid to figure out what I am. Then you said that it was fear in my eyes. You know what? You were right! There is fear in my eyes! Only stupid men don't know fear, and I'm the most intelligent man you'll ever lock up with! Yeah, there's fear, anxiety, apprehension, confusion, same as any human being. But again, you're too stupid to realize that there's many different ways to react to those emotions! You can cower in a corner, you can flail around in desperation...or if you're real smart, you know how to make them an asset, and use them to your advantage. Fury, I feel so sorry for you, because you don't even have a clue what's about to happen! Oh, and Chow: we have to talk. [Petrow walks off the set] ======================================================================= STEVE KOWALSKI ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [The New Jersey Nightmare, Steve "The Fury" Kowalski, is pacing back and forth. The IIWF camera crew has barely enough time to set up the Monday Musings backdrop, before Kowalski starts to complain.] SK: Petrow, yer [BLEEP]! White Penis, yer a chicken[BLEEP]! I knew I was twice the man than either of ya, but I didn't expect ya two pickle lickers to form an alliance! But that's O-[BLEEP]'n-KAY! 'Cause I ain't here to shed tears. I'm here to predict the future! May 3rd: I become the new streamline champion. White Penis becomes first man to be reborn _again_, 'cause he sucks twice as much the second time. Punk, third time's not a charm. May 10th: During a brutal match with Crazy Joe, The Fury is the first man ever to knock out his opponent with a fan! Ya got what ya wanted, Petrow! Ya wound me up like a top! Now watch me spin! ======================================================================= CHRIS HERFORTH ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Chris Herforth, wearing a white T-Shirt, jeans and a black leather jacket, is sitting on a chair in the middle of the interview area. He's unshaven and obviously tired. His voice is low and and full of anger.] CH: Highwayman, when I heard your words just before our match, you know, this "change in heart" and "forces of good and evil" babble. For _one_ second, for just a tiny little second, I actually wasted a thought about it. To revel in cheers instead of jeers, to see my father's chest swell with pride... that's exactly what I always wanted, believe it or not, but that's what I was born for. I understand that sneak attacking my opponents and kidnapping their pets as means of challenging them was definitely wrong. Gaining that insight was a painful process, and I swore to myself to change. But when I see you, Highwayman, and your bosom friend Nightwing, pulling such a stunt like that last Saturday... [he slowly shakes his head and sighs] And you can _respect_ yourself? Highwayman, hereby I challenge you a third and last time, to prove myself and to give you the chance to restore your honour. Maybe this time you'll have the courage to make the fight on your own. ======================================================================= DUNCAN MACBETH ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Duncan Macbeth strides into the IIWF interview area, soaked in sweat but otherwise looking none the worse for wear after his victory over Otto Verhoeven and subsequent encounter with Derek Mota and Ike Sampson. His green eyes glint with confidence as he stares into the camera.] DM: I have t' feel sorry fer ye, Sampson, I really do. I ken it must be tough, bein' an' also-ran so soon in yuir IIWF career, but ye had a perfectly good opportunity t' avoid a hidin' at Birthday Bash, an' ye did nae take it. Well, if ye're THA' desperate fer a live pay-per view humiliation, be my guest, tosser! As fer ye, Mota, ye were wise t' keep yuir nose out o' me affairs. Ye can carry on wi' yuir tiresome kindergarten sandbox antics all ye like, but th' only attention tha' REALLY matters is on ME! Th' whole o' th' IIWF just saw me pin a former world champion clean in th' middle o' th' ring, an' 't'will nae be long a'fore I pin a CURRENT champion, mark me! But first, th' Bash, an' th' triangle match, where th' only "imprint" YE'll be leavin' will be th' imprint o' yuir shoulders in th' mat -- righ' beside Ike Sampson's! ======================================================================= IKE SAMPSON ~~~~~~~~~~~ [Ike Sampson stands in the IIWF interview area. He is wearing a IIWF t- shirt and an early eighties-style T-C Twins hat.] IS: Let's talk about three things. Three people, actually, if you want to go so far as to call 'em that. Number One: Tiger Claw. You had something to say last Friday about our match. It's a shame you couldn't say the same things face to face, in the ring. It's too bad you need help from your goon squad to win. But I guess it's only fair: you couldn't really expect a runt like you to last ten minutes in there with me. Number Two: Derek Mota. You had some things to say Saturday night. Came out, gave the fans a little show. I'm sitting here wondering, though, what you felt you accomplished with your little performance. Only one thing, as far as I can tell: you've... Mota-vated me to whip your ass just a little extra at Birthday Bash. [Ike allows himself a little hint of a smile at his little joke, but quickly becomes "intensity personified" again.] Two things, Mota: Don't mess with my fans, and you damn sure don't mess with me. Bottom line. You want a piece of me, I ain't on no damn t-shirt. I'm right here. C'mon. I ain't hard to find. Number three: Duncan MacBean. I told you, boy, you messed up. You came out here, you called me "extra baggage". Now after our little... conversation Saturday night, let me ask you a question. How did it feel to have 300 pounds of "extra baggage" whipping your ass?! I ain't had nothing for you since the day we got here, boy. Cross me again, I'll rip off one "o' ye bloody a'ms" and shove it up your stinkin' skirt. Bottom line. ======================================================================= OTTO VERHOEVEN ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven, still in his ring attire, is standing in the IIWF interview area. He seems to be surprisingly calm, wiping away sweat from his forehead with a towel and listening to Nurse Heidi, who whispers to him. She, in turn, seems to be very agitated, her eyes are red and her make-up is smeared over her face by her tears. She frantically talks to Verhoeven who looks right past her straight into the camera, intensity burning in his eyes.] OV: Tonight, I wanted to teach a wrestling lesson to a man who I thought worthy of my respect. A man who did not understand that my goal is compare the athletic abilities of those of German origin to that of wrestlers with different ancestry. That I am not, by any means, a Nazi, only a proud patriot in the Olympic meaning of the word. Macbeth, I decided to give you a fair chance to beat, but you decided to employ the way of a coward, a low blow, to defeat me. Be assured that this is not over, Schotte. When we meet again, I will not restrain myself and punish you for your unlucky choice to fight the Butcher in this way. [Verhoeven stares at the camera for a moment, then bows his head and looks down at the floor.] But recently I had to wonder if I am still fit to represent Germany in the IIWF. NH: [hastily] Naturlich. You may not doubt your strength. You are a Juggernaut. You cannot be stopped. They can only slow you down for a short time but in the end you shall... OV: Prevail? That's what I thought, too. But in the last few weeks I lost more matches than at any other time in my career. Quigley, Starks, Macbeth, I know I would have crushed them under normal circumstances, but... [he shakes his head, and desperation can be heard in his voice] I have become lax, lazy, took my success for granted. [He clenches his fists and shoves Heidi aside.] This has to end. I will double my efforts, rebuild my old confidence, and with the help of Lord Byron the sound of the name "Butcher" will once again strike fear in the hearts of those ugly American PIGS! [His head snaps back up. It is now red with rage.] Starks, you want to play mind games, you want to drive me over the edge?! You may have reached your goal, little man, and it could well prove to be your doom! [He storms of the set. Heidi looks after him, then turns to the camera.] NH: Zis is bad, very bad. I have never seen him like zat. Herr Starks, pleeze, stop provoking him, you don't know what you're doing. ======================================================================= CHRIS QUIGLEY ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Cut to the IIWF interview area, where a showered Chris Quigley stands, wearing blue jeans and a new item from IIWF merchandising, a black t-shirt with the "Quickstrike" logo on the back and on front the words "Look Out For Number One" in bold white letters, which pretty much expresses the views of Quigley as of late. He doesn't look happy, yet doesn't look exactly mad either, for the first time in quite awhile, he doesn't yell into the Monday Musings camera, instead speaking in a steady, calm voice.] CQ: Ripped off? I don't know if I was really ripped off tonight. Sure, I guess the goal is to get the "W" every chance you can get in wrestling, but tonight was obviously a moral victory for me, above all else. Subway Psycho, you did have some harsh words for me on Friday, but I really don't care. You're everything I knew you'd be in the ring and more, and we've really got to do it again sometime. I think we both came away from that match with a little bit of respect for each other, something not many people get from me. As for you, Casey James, you can say "The Quickstriker wasn't nothin'!" or whatever it is you'll say, but you were helpless in the middle of the ring until that light drizzle, Brody Thunder interfered. No matter what you say, or what you might even try to make yourself believe, you are _not_ going to forget the pain of that move, you are _not_ going to forget the helplessness you felt in the middle of the ring, while your back and your legs screamed in agony for your mouth to yell "I quit!" How many times have I said that I do my talking in the ring, James? You tried to get the psychological edge in our match by doing a month's worth of fast talking and lying, but I captured the psychological edge in one night without saying a single word. That was the first time you've felt the Quickstriker, Casey, but you know deep down, that it won't be the last. I'll see you in May. [Quigley swaggers off the set, obviously sporting his familiar air of confidence, as if a ton of weight has been lifted from his shoulders.] ======================================================================= CASEY JAMES ~~~~~~~~~~~ [Casey James stands in the IIWF interview area] CJ: Quigley, let me get a few things straight. That was a cute little display you made on Saturday Night. That whole thing with you changing your image and all, that was nice. Although I'd wish you'd do something to surprise me, Chris. You're like an open book, Quigley. See, I tell the world what I think of you, and you go ahead and prove me right. Chris, there is no such thing as an unbreakable hold. The fact that you think there is shows your arrogance. See, there comes a time in a fighter's progression when they figure out that their style isn't the be-all-end-all in the world. It's a certain level of maturity, Chris, and you haven't reached it yet. Go ahead thinking that your style is the best, and that you're the best at it. I'll go ahead training with Brian. Yes, Brian. Not Tiger Claw. This may be before your time, Chris, but some of the IIWF folks know about Brian's Jiu Jitsu background. Yeah, the martial art upon which your pathetic style is based on. Months ago, a man called the Coroner claimed his Indian Deathlock was the ultimate hold, and Brian reversed it on him. That's what'll happen to you, Chris. In order to make a Fujinama armbar so lethal, you've got to lock it on before I can exercise my power. I don't think you can. Sure, your style focuses on equalizing a difference in strength, but there comes a point where the difference is just too big to make up for. I think you can agree that that point has been reached. Chris, I'm going to enjoy beating you. It'll make this belt shine all the more brightly. It'll also make up for all the careers you've slighted by trying to pump up your own ego. Your words about two of my friends, Verhoeven and Hardin, will _not_ go unpunished. You're a loudmouthed little boy who's going to get put in his place. You know, most people, upon noticing that everyone they run into hates them, would get the point. Somebody's got to teach you humility, Quigley, and it's going to be one lesson I'm going to love helping you with. ======================================================================= TIGER CLAW ~~~~~~~~~~ [Claw stands in the IIWF interview area.] TC: Well, Psycho, you got a victory over Chris Quigley. Happy? Some might say that's an accomplishment. I wouldn't, because I think Quigley is a loudmouthed pig. But the fact remains that you got the win, and it was all thanks to the Syndicate. Now, to make things even, I've got to take something away from you, and that's what I'm going to do at the Bash. You wanted a match where the rules went out of the window, and it sounds as if the head office doesn't know how to make that happen. See, they like to have a category for each match so it's easy for the TV zombies at home to understand. Let me clarify... Cage match, no DQ, no pinfalls, match goes to the knockout. We can call it a Bangkok Death Pit match, since this is very similar to the type of match I used to fight at home before I went pro. I know that it sounds more like a Texas Death Cage match, but I'd rather not have any American connotations attached to a match I'm going to win. We don't need a ref in the cage. He can stay outside, because all he has to do is count to 10. In Thailand, the stipulation for winning is a little more obvious, but I doubt the IIWF would sanction the type of match that goes on there. President Spreadbury, you'll hear from Brian Lau soon. And Psycho, you'll be on the business ends of my fists at the Bash. [Claw begins to walk off the set, but hesitates.] Oh, and one last thing... Quigley, the reason that nobody thinks that you're as good as you think you are is because you're not. Nobody is. Your expectations of your own performance can never be reached by a human being. I guess you'll have to learn that the hard way. I'll be sure to help the champion capitalize on that. ======================================================================= MAD DOG WATKINS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Mad Dog Watkins paces back and forth in the IIWF interview area waiting for his cue to begin his interview. He stands, dripping in sweat from his recent match-turned-brawl with Brody Thunder. His head is wrapped all the way around with white tape turned crimson which supports two thick cotton swabs placed by IIWF medical personnel to stop his bleeding from several cuts sustained at Thunder's hands. He gets the signal to speak, slowly raises his head to the camera and stares a harsh stare. He raises his hand and starts to speak, but then backs off in disgust. He tries this once more, and then throws his hands down angrily. He begins to walk off the set, pauses, and then returns. He walks towards the camera, puts his hands around the lens, and leans in real close, offering the viewers at home a tight shot of the crimson carnage that is his face.] MDW: It... ain't... even... over. [Watkins pauses, his breathing somewhat fogging up the camera lens and offering a eerie, distorted effect to the shot.] I can't even begin to put my hatred fo' you into words. So I'll keep it short an' sweet -- name the time... the place... and the day and I'll make sure you get a proper burial... courtesy of me. ======================================================================= BRODY THUNDER ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [Thunder bursts onto the IIWF interview set moments after his brawl with Mad Dog Watkins. He kicks a few chairs, picks one of them up and slams it into the floor twice. He throws it away, then stands there, wringing his hands, as if he were composing himself. He is sweating profusely and his left eye is a purplish-red color and partially closed. He finally looks into the camera.] BT: Spreadbury?! Spreadbury?! I hope yer listenin', pal! What jus' happened out there... it ain't right! An' it ain't ended here! Somethin's gotta give! That contract that I signed... that weren't fer no tenderfoot countout decision! That contract that Dog an' I signed fer was fer an Iron Man match at that Bash yer plannin'! I-WANT-THAT-MATCH, SPREADBURY! This here ain't jus' fer wins or losses now... this here's fer a man's pride. There's gonna hafta be a winner... this horse spit ain't gonna fly. So you make that match, Spreadbury, 'cuz the alternative... ...hell... the IIWF ain't ready fer the alternative. Jus' make the damned match. An' Dog... this weren't nuthin'. The next time we get into that ring I'm done playin'. We're about ta take it ta the next level my friend... so I hope ya ain't scared o' heights. I'm beginnin' ta think this sport ain't big enough fer the two o' us... ...an' I ain't changin' my address any time soon. So ya get ready, Watkins. Spreadbury... ya better make that match, son... an' if he does, Dog... ...yer career is over. End o' story. [Thunder storms off camera as a chair is seen flying back across the room into the wall.] ======================================================================= REQUIEM ~~~~~~~ [SCENE: The IIWF interview area, immediately after the Requiem/Creed match. Requiem enters, a black towel draped around his shoulders. Gabrielle enters a few moments later, almost sheepishly.] REQUIEM: Creed, I have judged you. At first I thought that perhaps you were touched by the Darkness Of The Soul. But you are not. You are simply a man whose desire for victory is the only driving force, outweighing any other. A man who will do anything to win. Creed, I pity you, for I have no doubt that you will continue to be victorious. I have no doubt that you will amass victory after victory, but victory for the sake of victory eventually grows hollow and meaningless. It is a lesson that is hard in the learning, but it is a lesson that all learn, sooner or later. Even you. However, Creed, there is one thing I will not forgive... [Requiem, amazingly enough, now begins to grow angry. The pale blue of his eyes blaze with furious indignation, and the very air seems to shiver in fear] This 'CEO' of yours DARED lay his unclean hand upon my guitar! Creed, should you - or any other member of the IIWF, be they wrestler, manager or referee - DARE to lay hands upon my guitar your fate will be whispered to frighten little children, and grown men will quiver in terror as they hear what my fury led me to! Your 'CEO' is even now only at your side because the guitar was returned undamaged, and because of the actions of my sister! Oh, yes, I have since discerned exactly what my sister has done on my behalf, and it shames me! It disgraces me! It dishonors me! What were you thinking, woman!? GABRIELLE: I... I... I was only trying to h-h-help, b-b-brother. REQUIEM: I NEED NO HELP! I am Requiem! The Light is with me, and The Choir are with me. They, and my honour, are the only help I require! GABRIELLE: P-p-please, y-y-you're f-f-frightening me- REQUIEM: [calming down, closes his eyes and sharply inhales, a long pause and then...] Forgive me, sister. You meant well, even if you.... Well... you meant well. Creed, I humbly apologize for the actions of my sister, and I beg your forgiveness myself. My 'business' with you is concluded, but if you were to wish a rematch, I would be honored. But now, to another matter. Deathbringer, once again I have heard your words, and once more I am not impressed. I will reply in due course, when I have rested, and resanctified my guitar, but in the meantime... You asked how I could destroy one side of a coin without destroying the other? Watch and learn, Deathbringer. [Requiem holds up the golden coin and turns it to show the face of Deathbringer. Reaching into his long jacket he pulls out a small penknife, and very deliberately scratches a large 'X' across Deathbringer's face, obliterating it completely] I trust my meaning is clear enough? [Requiem stalks off stage, whilst a very subdued Gabrielle follows tentatively behind] ======================================================================= CREED ~~~~~ [Creed stands in the IIWF interview area minutes after his time limit draw with Requiem. The only manifestation of the 15 minute war being a red icepack which is bound to the back of Creed's neck.] CREED: Sister, huh? So much for the high road, right, Gimmick? Guess now we know what you 'bout. S'all right. Man does what he has to do. Be another day with you and me. For the rest of you -- y'only got one week left. One week to take the streak -- one week to take the Birthday Bash title shot. Gotta be somebody out there who want a little of this. Somebody who wants to test himself against the hottest thing going today. Somebody who's willing to sell out for a once in a lifetime chance at Byron's strap. Somebody who wants to step into history. Somebody who wants that line in the record books as the "guy who stopped the streak." Somebody. Someone. Anyone... [Creed now tosses the icepack away, affixing his cold stare upon the camera.] Anyone... Anywhere... Anytime... ======================================================================= W & W EXPRESS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ [The W & W Express come down to the interview set] WAYNE: I can't believe this [BLEEP]. It's not enough we have to deal with our opponents, we got to deal with all the outside interference. WATSON: In our match with the Zodiac Connection, they had the Gemini Twins in the sky box communicating to them with a radio set. This is ridiculous. The IIWF is turning more and more into a circus everyday. WAYNE: We are not going to sink as low as all these other losers and bring a whole army down the aisle with us. The IIWF suits make a ruling, then all these clowns find ways around it. WATSON: We don't need all these schemes to beat people. Our strategy is simple, we destroy whoever gets in our way. Wrestlers, Managers, Valets, anybody. It doesn't matter WAYNE: Zodiacs, Armed Forces, Prophets of Rage, we'll take on anybody. WATSON: There is one team that we have respect for. Those newcomers the Last Resort. They don't need outside interference to beat people. If we fight Last Resort, maybe the IIWF will see a real tag team match, not a circus or a damn gang war. WAYNE: The Express isn't here to shake hands and kiss babies, The Express is here to break bones and kick ass. [Fade] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+