##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== C + L + A + S + S + I + C + S ----------------------------------------------- 1 May 1997 [Fade through to an IIWF studio. Larry Morton is seated at a desk in front of a bank of small video monitors, each of which is showing footage of various cataclysmic encounters from the IIWF's archives. The shot closes in on his face, and he speaks:] LM: Hi there, folks, and welcome to IIWF Classics. I'm Larry Morton, and I'm here in lieu of "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, who has been, uh, detained at a meeting with IIWF President Daniel Spreadbury. This week's trip into the archives takes us back to last December, to the pay-per-view spectacular, Snow Brawl. In the beautiful surroundings of the snow-kissed plains of Anchorage, Alaska, the IIWF purpose-converted a hangar on the United States Air Force base there, and invited some twenty thousand fans to attend the event. Tonight, I'm going to show you the Survivors Battle Royal, the culmination of a series of Lethal Lottery tag team matches, in which tag partnerships were randomly drawn and pitted against one another, with the winners then proceeding to the battle royal -- which was a truly tremendous match. Without further ado, let's join my broadcast colleagues, Tim Dross, Becky LaRue, and Steve Roberts himself, for this encounter. I'll see you tomorrow, along with Becky, for another "Countdown to Saturday Night". [Cut to footage subtitled, "21 December 1996". The scene is a converted hangar in the USAF base at Anchorage, Alaska, jam-packed from floor to ceiling with cheering fans. Cut to the ringside broadcast table, at which are seated Tim Dross, Becky LaRue, and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts.] TD: Well, folks, we now know that Dan Kauffman will be the IIWF Champion on January 4, when the winner of the upcoming battle royal will get his shot. Quigley, Annis and James are all included in this over the top rope war, and you can bet that all three, and the other ten men in the event, will be striving to survive in order to earn that priceless opportunity to face Dan Kauffman. The last man eliminated -- the runner-up -- will earn a shot at Steve Kowalski, the new Intercontinental Champion, on the same night. What a match this proves to be! Let's get back up to the ring. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- LETHAL LOTTERY SURVIVORS BATTLE ROYAL: winner becomes #1 contender to World Title runner-up becomes #1 contender to Intercontinental Title -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley vs. Subway Psycho vs. Mad Dog Watkins vs. Lord Byron vs. Harlequin Tragedy vs. Cheshire vs. Dirt Dog Unique Allah vs. Steve Kowalski vs. Otto Verhoeven vs. Marty Warnett vs. American Patriot vs. Casey James vs. Brody Thunder -------------------------------------------------------- [Sparkplug Lee steps into the spotlight once more.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, tonight's final attraction is the special Lethal Lottery Survivors Battle Royal! Thirteen men will begin in the ring, and the match will continue until twelve have been eliminated by going over the top rope and to the arena floor. The last man standing will be declared the winner, and will receive a shot at the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion on January 4. The runner-up will receive a shot at the IIWF Intercontinental Champion on the same night. [Pop!] RA: Introducing the participants: coming down the aisle, accompanied by Medusa Rage, here is Dirt Dog Unique Allah! [Mixed pop for Unique as he staggers out into the aisle. He occasionally resorts to leaning on Medusa to keep himself upright.] TD: Dirt Dog is a far wilier wrestler than he might initially appear. We don't know how much of this staggering around is part of an act to lull his opponents into a false sense of security. SR: If you want to find out for sure, try smelling his breath, Dross. It's enough to kill an elephant at a hundred paces. BL: I don't rate Unique's chances here. He's so out of it, he'll be easy pickings for one of the bigger guys in the battle royal. RA: Coming down the aisle, accompanied by the Lady DeWinter, here is Lord Byron! [Big heel pop as Byron walks out into the aisle, still carrying his cane but otherwise only in his wrestling attire. The Lady DeWinter follows closely behind, looking with disdain at the fans.] TD: A strong performance from Byron earlier on tonight bodes well for this battle royal. SR: I really think Byron has to be one of the favourites here, Dross. [Byron climbs the ringsteps and stands across the ring from where Dirt Dog lurches on the ropes.] RA: Making his way to the ring, here is the IIWF Intercontinental Champion, Steve "the Fury" Kowalski! [Kowalski appears at the head of the aisle, holding the Intercontinental Championship strap aloft. Huge heel pop from the crowd.] TD: Kowalski has already wrestled two gruelling matches tonight. I can't believe that he even wants to be in this battle royal, but here he is nonetheless. BL: One thing about Kowalski -- he doesn't back down from a fight. Even against twelve other guys. [Kowalski climbs into the ring and flaunts his new strap at both Byron and Unique. He refuses to relinquish hold of the belt to the referee.] RA: On his way down the aisle, here is the "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder! [Big heel pop for Thunder, who simply heads straight for the ring, ignoring the jeers of the fans.] TD: This man is all business both in and out of the ring. He's going to be focused on this battle royal, and to my mind, he could go all the way. SR: Look at him get in Kowalski's face, Dross! TD: The referee is holding them apart... The match could start early here! RA: Making his way to the ring, here is the American Patriot! [Big pop for the huge 285lbs, 6'11" athlete as he makes his way down the aisle, slapping hands with the fans as he comes.] BL: Now if this guy wasn't such a big wet, he could be a contender here. TD: I'm not sure that big men have the advantage in matches like this one, Becky. The bigger they are, the easier they are to topple out of the ring. RA: Next, coming down the aisle, here is Mad Dog Watkins! [Big heel pop for Watkins as he appears from the door at the head of the aisle. With a confident smile on his face, he walks straight down to the rapidly-filling ring.] TD: Watkins has been highly impressive since arriving here in the IIWF. He's a very powerful competitor with a great deal of resilience. He could pull this one out of the hat. SR: I agree, Dross. He's a big man, but he knows his way round the ring like the back of his hand. RA: Making his way down to the ring, here is Marty Warnett! [Huge pop as Marty Warnett hobbles out into the aisle. He is favouring his braced right leg slightly, and although his face has been cleaned up, the gouges from the studs on Stetson's Superstar belt are apparent. He still manages to smile for the fans and hi-five them as he makes his way to the ring.] TD: Warnett's taken a great deal of punishment tonight. I'm not sure that he's going to have enough left to survive in a match as punishing as this. SR: There's no doubt, Dross. Walnut's going to go over that top rope right at the start. He doesn't stand a chance. BL: I have to agree with Steve, Timmy. Walnut has improved a great deal in recent weeks, but he's beset by injuries... and besides, he's still just a Welsh idiot. TD: There's no need for that, you two. RA: Introducing next, coming down the aisle, here is Cheshire! [Mixed reaction for the bizarre clown as he jumps out of the door with a somersault and lands, arms outstretched, at the head of the aisle. He giggles, and his eyes widen as he looks at the ring full of wrestlers. Like a gymnast, he backflips his way down the aisle.] TD: I think Cheshire might be better advised to save his energy for the match itself. SR: This guy is just too weird. He laughs when people hit him?! BL: I know quite a few guys like that. TD: I'm sure you do, Becky. RA: Making his way down the aisle, here is Harlequin Tragedy! [Moderate pop for Tragedy as he appears at the head of the aisle. He is still wearing his steel mask.] TD: Tragedy probably shouldn't be wrestling following his injury earlier this week, but that mask could give him an advantage in this match. SR: There's no way that multi-coloured moron should be allowed to wrestle with a steel mask! TD: The referees have ruled that the mask is within the regulations for protective headwear, so that's all there is to it. RA: Introducing next, the German juggernaut, Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven! [Big heel pop as Verhoeven and Heidi come out into the aisle, furious looks on their faces. They quickly make their way down to the ring, badmouthing the fans and the other wrestlers.] BL: Here's the man who's going to win this battle royal. TD: I don't know, Becky. He looks very angry, and he might be more focused on getting his hands on the Subway Psycho than winning this match. RA: Coming down the aisle, here is Casey "Blackheart" James! [Another big heel pop as Casey James appears at the head of the aisle and saunters down to the ring, an evil smirk on his face.] TD: Casey James is determined to win this battle royal and earn a shot at Dan Kauffman. With his recent form, he's not a man I'd like to bet against. SR: The field sure is close, Dross. Just about any of these guys could take the victory. RA: Introducing next, the #1 seed for this battle royal, "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley! [Huge pop as Quigley steps out into the aisle. He has an air of confidence about him as he walks directly to the ring, allowing the eager fans on either side of the aisle to touch him.] TD: And here's another man I wouldn't bet against. However, he still has unfinished business with Otto Verhoeven, and even though Quigley is completely focused on winning this match to earn his shot against Kauffman, the Butcher may not feel the same. SR: Quigley doesn't stand a chance in there, Dross. He's a lot smaller than guys like Thunder, Watkins, Casey, Verhoeven and Kowalski, and he'll be one of their prime targets. Look for them to try and eliminate Quigley early on. RA: And finally, here is the "People's Champion", the Subway Psycho! [Sparkplug is forced to exit the ring in a hurry as the Psycho sprints down the aisle to a huge pop. He hits the ring like a whirlwind, and immediately begins brawling with Otto Verhoeven. The bell rings to signal the start of the match, and within moments, all thirteen men are brawling in the ring. The Psycho and Verhoeven club each other with hard right hands, and they end up against the ropes, where each man vies to eliminate the other. Sensing the opportunity, Brody Thunder, Casey James and Mad Dog Watkins grab Verhoeven and the Psycho by the legs, and topple them over the top rope to the outside! Big pop!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the Subway Psycho and Otto Verhoeven have been eliminated! TD: Wow! Those two have been dumped out of the ring in a hurry -- and they don't seem to care! Look at them go at it! [Both men continue to brawl outside the ring. The Psycho rams Verhoeven into the steel railings, and Verhoeven retaliates by whipping the Psycho against the ringsteps. A number of referees surround the warring athletes, and try to separate them. A security team tries to drag them both up the aisle, but they break free from the human shields, and continue to go at it back to the locker room. Meanwhile, in the ring, Steve Kowalski undoes the IC belt which he still has round his waist, and begins clocking wrestlers with it. First Brody Thunder goes down, then Cheshire, then Mad Dog Watkins. Finally, Kowalski uses the belt to catch Harlequin Tragedy under the jaw with the belt, and Tragedy tumbles over the top rope to the outside.] RA: Harlequin Tragedy has been eliminated! TD: I can't believe this! Kowalski shouldn't be allowed to have that belt in there with him! SR: Yeah? And who's going to tell _him_ that?! [Thundre, Cheshire and Watkins get groggily to their feet, and approach Kowalski, who simply jumps over the top rope, all the way to the arena floor. Big heel pop!] TD: Kowalski just eliminated himself! RA: Steve "the Fury" Kowalski has been eliminated! SR: Smart move by Kowalski -- go in there, cause a little havoc, and then get out before payback. TD: Kowalski looks very pleased with himself, but now he's got that Intercontinental Championship belt in his possession, he's going to be a marked man. [Kowalski holds his arms aloft, and smirks as he backs away from the ring, from which his victims shout abuse down at him. He heads up the aisle, badmouthing the crowd. Meanwhile, in the ring, Marty Warnett goes at it with Lord Byron, and their skirmish is broken up when Dirt Dog nails Warnett from behind. Casey James brawls with Chris Quigley, and the American Patriot is choked out by Brody Thunder. Marty Warnett is beaten into the corner by Dirt Dog, until he suddenly switches places, and begins pummelling Allah with punches to the midsection. However, his bad knee is clipped from behind by Lord Byron, and Warnett hits the mat. The American Patriot fights to his feet, and is whipped across the ring by Thunder, colliding hard with Cheshire on the other side of the ring. There is a sickening crack of skulls as the Patriot hits the clown, who tumbles over the top rope to the outside!] RA: Cheshire has been eliminated! TD: Wow! Did you hear those heads collide there?! And look at Cheshire! He's on his feet, laughing like a madman! BL: I tell you, that Cheshire is _seriously_ deranged. [The American Patriot holds his head, and staggers into the ring. He is floored by a big clothesline by Thunder. Big pop! Thunder drags the Patriot to his feet, and along with Mad Dog Watkins, the Patriot finds himself hauled to the ropes and dumped over to the outside! Big heel pop!] RA: The American Patriot has been eliminated! TD: A disappointment for the big newcomer there. He was unfortunate to have collided with Cheshire like that... and he paid for it. SR: I knew he never stood a chance, Dross. [Dirt Dog sticks a thumb in Lord Byron's eye, and that angers the blueblood. Byron whips Allah across the ring, and backdrops him with a great deal of elevation. Allah tumbles into the ropes, but manages to drag himself back into the ring before both feet touch the floor. Byron, meanwhile, tries to force Dirt Dog out of the ring by choking him and kicking him, but he is upended by Marty Warnett, who sends Byron over the top rope to the floor! Huge pop!] RA: Lord Byron has been eliminated! TD: Seven men have already been eliminated in this match! The action is truly fast and furious here tonight at Snow Brawl! [Brody Thunder and Mad Dog Watkins slug it out, and Casey James floors Chris Quigley with a clothesline, before stomping on the downed Canadian. Marty Warnett continues to slug it out with Dirt Dog Unique Allah, dragging the drunkard to his feet. He whips Allah across the ring, and hits him with a clothesline on the rebound. Allah rolls to the outside, and as Warnett stands at the ropes, yelling down at the Dirt Dog, he is upended from behind by Mad Dog Watkins. Amazingly, Warnett keeps hold of the ropes, and rolls back into the ring under the bottom rope, but he is viciously stomped by Watkins. Meanwhile, Quigley fights to his feet and whips Casey into the ropes, hitting him with a hard knee to the midsection on the rebound. Casey goes through 360 degrees, and hits the mat with force. As Warnett fights to his feet, slugging it out with Watkins, Dirt Dog sneaks back into the ring behind Marty, and chokes him with some tape from his wrists! Big heel pop!] TD: It's chaos in there! SR: Just the way I like it. Get him, Dirt Dog! [Warnett lashes out with an elbow, catching Allah and staggering him against the ropes. Warnett spins round and clotheslines Allah out of the ring to the outside! However, his own momentum also carries him over, and he narrowly avoids eliminating himself. Big pop! Warnett rolls back into the ring under the bottom rope.] RA: Dirt Dog Unique Allah has been eliminated! [Warnett drags himself to his feet, and Mad Dog Watkins charges him. Warnett slumps to the mat, and Watkins tumbles over the top rope to the outside! Huge pop!] RA: Mad Dog Watkins has been eliminated! SR: I can't believe it! TD: Nor can Watkins! Look at him! [Watkins beats his hands on the apron in frustration, and tries to climb back into the ring, but is restrained by a number of officials. A security team makes its way down to ringside to drag Watkins away. In the ring, Brody Thunder attacks Chris Quigley, and Casey James turns his attention to Marty Warnett. All four men brawl in opposite corners of the ring. Thunder and James attempt to whip Quigley and Warnett into a collision in centre ring, but Warnett and Quigley reverse, sending Thunder and James crashing into one another. Warnett catches Thunder in a back suplex, dumping him on his head, and Quigley floors James with a clothesline. Warnett drags Thunder to his feet, and whips him across the ring towards Quigley, who performs a hiptoss takeover on Thunder, sending him flying over the top rope to the outside! Huge pop!] RA: "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder has been eliminated! TD: We're down to three men! This doesn't look good for Casey James! [Warnett and Quigley drag Casey to his feet and whip him into the ropes. Casey ducks under a doubleclothesline attempt, and fires back with a flying double clothesline of his own. Quigley gets back to his feet, pulling himself back up using the ropes, and Casey charges in. Quigley ducks, and Casey tumbles over the top rope. Amazingly, he manages to keep his balance, and lands on the apron. He grabs Quigley from behind and suplexes "Quickstrike" out of the ring to the outside! Huge pop! Casey just manages to keep hold of the ropes before he too tumbles to the outside. He falls through the ropes back into the ring.] RA: "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley has been eliminated! TD: I can't believe it! What a suplex! Quigley really landed hard out there -- he hit his head on that crowd barrier! So we know that Casey James and Marty Warnett will be getting the title shots -- but who's going to get the World title shot? [Suddenly, there is a commotion as "Superstar" Stud Stetson dashes down the aisle to a huge heel pop.] TD: No! Not Stetson! SR: Oh yes! Now we're going to see Warnett get his! [In the ring, the exhausted Warnett has his back to the aisle, and his attention is focused on Casey, not on Stetson's presence at ringside. He drags Casey James to his feet, and attempts to whip him into the ropes, but Casey reverses, and sends Marty for the ride. Stetson pulls down the top rope as Marty hits them, causing him to topple out of the ring to the floor! Huge heel pop! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Marty Warnett has been eliminated! Therefore, your winner, and #1 contender to the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship: Casey "Blackheart" James! [Huge heel pop! On the outside, Stetson stomps on the exhausted Warnett, and his stretcher crew comes down to the ring. Meanwhile, the equally tired Casey raises his arms in victory to the hostile crowd.] TD: I don't believe it! Both men are really winners here, since they both get the chance at capturing IIWF gold in just two weeks time, but I can't help but feel that Warnett has been cheated out of a match of a lifetime against Dan Kauffman. What a performance from Warnett here at Snow Brawl! SR: But look how it's ended -- he's being brutalised by Stetson out there! This is great! [Stetson drags Warnett to his feet, and slams him onto the stretcher. Warnett struggles, but Stetson quickly straps his victim down, before pushing the stretcher into the ring steps! Huge heel pop! Quickly, a security team dashes down to the ring, attempting to drag Stetson away from Warnett. Eventually, Stetson walks away without a fight, his arms raised, laughing at the jeers of the crowd. Meanwhile, the ringside officials free Warnett from the restraints of the stretcher, and the party maniac, despite his exhaustion, is sufficiently riled to stagger up the aisle in pursuit of his assailant.] BL: Walnut just doesn't know when he's beat, does he? TD: He's got a pugnacious... BL: [interrupting] Bless you. TD: No, Becky, I wasn't sneezing. I was trying to comment that Warnett really has the heart of a fighter beating in that chest of his. SR: The only thing beating in Warnett's chest is Stud Stetson's fist, Dross, and that's the way it should be! TD: Well, despite yet another so-called Superstar attack, Warnett will go on to battle Steve "the Fury" Kowalski on January 4, and that man in the ring, Casey "Blackheart" James, will finally get a match against Dan Kauffman on the same night. [Casey James climbs to the turnbuckles and raises his arms to the crowd once more. The heel pop becomes even louder as Brian Lau, Tiger Claw and the Dark Disciples make their way down to the ring to join in his celebrations. Cut to the announcers' table.] TD: It's not been a bad night for the Syndicate -- the Dark Disciples also earned the chance to face the High Plains Drifters for the IIWF World Tag Team Championships in two weeks' time earlier on tonight in that tag team battle royal. SR: Never bet against the Syndicate, Dross. Brian Lau finds a way to get what he wants. Rather like Becky, I suppose. BL: Hey, less of that, Roberts, or I'll reinjure that back of yours. SR: Chance would be a fine thing, baby. TD: [interrupting] What an event it's been! Fans, we're right out of time here from the Armstrong US Air Force Base in Anchorage, Alaska. Thanks for joining us here for Snow Brawl! For my broadcast colleagues Becky LaRue, "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, and Larry Morton, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! [Cut to the Syndicate celebrating their victory in the ring. Pull out to a wide-angle shot showing the sea of fans. Fade] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+