##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "INSIDE THE IIWF" with Tim Dross Wednesday 21 May 1997 ----------------------------------------------- ["You Wreck Me" by Tom Petty begins as the shot opens on veteran IIWF commentator Tim Dross, standing in front of a bank of monitors, each displaying a highlight from Brithday Bash. Dross gives a quick wink to someone off camera as the music fades and we zoom in on Tim.] TD: Hello, fans and welcome to "Inside the IIWF"; your weekly look at all the news, views, reviews and previews; highlights and sidelights, cheers and jeers; a look behind at the week that was -- and up ahead at the week that will be -- here in the finest wrestling Federation in the world today... the mighty IIWF! I am your host, Tim Dross, and over the last two weeks the IIWF has been chock full of news; virtually every day has brought another shocking announcement... and we'll recap it all for you on Inside the IIWF.  Not only that, but we'll also have the results from the IIWF card at the Coliseum tonight -- and we'll also tell you of a brand new show that will come your way on Wednesdays to bring you those results.  That show will start next week... but this is "Inside the IIWF", and that means that we'll kick it all off with your Superstar of the Week. ************************************************************************ ------------------------ SUPERSTAR OF THE WEEK ----------------------- ************************************************************************ TD: So many memorable moments from Birthday Bash, folks.  Big title defenses from Lord Byron, the Prophets of Rage and Pain Inc.  Tremendous victories for Otto Verhoeven, Requiem, Subway Psycho and Ike Sampson -- clearly establishing that each of those men is at the top of his game. A wild -- and fans, I do mean wild -- Cruiserweight Championship match between Joe Petrow and Steve Kowalski that still has me shaking my head. But we'll start at the top.  And at the top of the heap remains Casey "Blackheart" James.  Wrestling prognosticators differed sharply as to whom would leave Birthday Bash with the gold strapped around his waist... but in the end it was James, displaying the kind of fortitude seen only in true Champions, who was able to overcome a blow from his own Championship belt... and then overcome "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley to retain the IIWF gold. Chris Quigley himself certainly deserves his share of praise, taking the fight straight to the big champion in that tremendous encounter.  In fact, were it not for a well timed Cattle Buster DDT from -- who else -- the "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder, we would almost assuredly be celebrating a different man today.  Where we go from here is certainly a reasonable line of inquiry. Whispers abound regarding the future of both these men.  For James, the talk is about the state of the Syndicate -- and the nature of his relationship with the aforementioned Thunder. The Champ and his manager Brian Lau continue to suggest that all is well within the ranks of the Syndicate, but the recent words and actions of Thunder suggest otherswise, suggest that perhaps the "Lone Wolf" is feeling a little claustrophobic within the close quarters of the Syndicate. In fact, some even went as far to express surprise that, when Brody Thunder made his ringside appearance at the IIWF Championship match, that it was in seeming support... instead of opposition to Blackheart. What will happen next?  Well, neither James nor Thunder is scheduled on the card Saturday Night... but a man who will go is Tiger Claw -- and he will see action for Intercontinental Gold. Chris Quigley will see action on Saturday, and will meet the man who remains unbeaten in 1997, Mr. Damage.  At least we assume that we shall see Chris Quigley on Saturday; since he walked out of the IIWF Coliseum some ten days ago, Quickstrike has not been heard from. Oh, what action we will have when IIWF Saturday Night returns this weekend. And to tide you over -- here's one last look at all the goings on at Birthday Bash 1997! [The Beatles' "Got To Get You Into My Life" plays as fast snapshots of Birthday Bash are shown, ranging from Marty Warnett's hip-swiveling, to Steve Kowalski's tricycle moonsault, to Casey James' cover of Chris Quigley, while the results crawl across the screen:] Casey James def. Chris Quigley Requiem def. Deathbringer Lord Byron def. Creed (DQ) Joe Petrow def. Steve Kowalski Pain Inc def. Night Patrol Subway Psycho def. Tiger Claw Otto Verhoeven def. Tony Starks Prophets of Rage def. Cold Spell (DQ) Ike Sampson def. Duncan Macbeth & Derek Mota Brody Thunder draw Mad Dog Watkins ************************************************************************ ------------------------- HOUSE SHOW REPORT -------------------------- ************************************************************************ TD: Following the two week hiatus, necessitated in part by the Hall of Fame induction ceremonies in which J.W. Hardin and Hakiro Matsuoko became the first two IIWF superstars to take up residence in our new, state-of-the-art Hall of Fame, the IIWF returned to action tonight with ten matches at the Coliseum. Now, I know that all of you are used to seeing Wednesday War Room, and this abbreviated report will not satisfy the needs of so many of you who want details of even the smallest of in-ring skirmishes here in the IIWF. Well, we have heard your pleas. Now, the Wednesday War Room as you know and love it will indeed remain on indefinite hiatus -- our television syndicator has chosen, in its infinite wisdom, to air an award-winning eight-part BBC documentary called, "Grain Is Our Friend!" in place of the War Room.  We encourage all of you great IIWF fans to tune in for that.  It's sure to be quite a show.  All eight weeks.  Eight weeks of grain. However, all is not lost, beginning next week, the IIWF has secured another time slot, to be filled by a short program which will be hosted by Larry Morton and Becky LaRue and will recap all of the goings on from the IIWF Coliseum.  It will come to you next Wednesday, as Inside the IIWF moves back to its customary Tuesday slot.  More on this coming soon. More scheduling news later, but first, here's what went down tonight: [A sample from Prince's "Housequake" is heard as Camera 2 focuses on Dross, the bank of monitors behind him now showing highlights of each of the ten matches held earlier in the evening, the monitors then stopping on a freeze frame of each match as it comes up in sequence, the first face seen on each monitor is that of "Dangerous" Danny Dynamite.] ----------------------------------------- 1. "Dangerous" Danny Dyamite vs. Casey C. ----------------------------------------- Dynamite made a stunning return to the IIWF at Birthday Bash, shocking the world by attacking his former stablemate, IIWF ex-Champion Dan Kauffman, and in the process becoming affiliated with the Syndicate. Well, Kauffman apparently survived that attack in fine order, unlike Casey C, who tonight was the victim of an all-out aerial blitz from the man who now refers to himself as "Dangerous."  Fortunately for Casey, the assault was brief, Dynamite left the arena almost as soon as he had entered, following a missle dropkick to the chest of his opponent. WINNER: "Dangerous" Danny Dynamite by pinfall. (4:19) ------------------------------------------- 2. Dirt Dog Unique Allah vs. El Super Gecko ------------------------------------------- The lizard may not have been hurt this evening, but he was certainly defeated.  You never know what you will get with Dirt Dog, but tonight what we saw was a razor-sharp submission wrestler.  Unique coolly attacked the legs of the outmanned Gecko, wrapping him in a series of grapevines and leglocks, before finally applying a combination body scissor and cross-face that gave the lizard's tapping finger quite a workout. WINNER: Dirt Dog Unique Allah by submission. (5:11) ------------------------------------------ 3. Zodiac Connection vs. Barnacle Brothers ------------------------------------------ A quick, but nasty night for Scorpio and Taurus, as the Zodiac Connection leveled its record at .500 with a victory over the Barnacle Brothers.  While the end result certainly was not of particular note, the method of their victory drew the attention of ringside observers. The former IIWF tag team champs double teamed the outmanned Barnacles continuously, at one point even appearing to taunt them regarding their "rapping ability" before finishing the contest with a spike piledriver. WINNERS: Zodiac Connection by pinfall. (6:19) -------------------------------------- 4. Chris Herforth vs. Nifty Ned Norton -------------------------------------- The evening then took a decidedly different tone as three men who will square off in one of those big four corners elimination matches on IIWF Saturday Night each competed in successive matches.  First was Chris Herforth, whose domination of Ned Norton was not the story of the matchup.  Instead, it was the ringside appearance of this New Generation "Alliance" -- or at least two thirds of it. Requiem and Highwayman, each sporting a harder edged "look" than prior to their brutal Birthday Bash attack of the Deathbringer, took to the outside of the ring early in the contest.  Each man walked the ring's perimeter, holding forth an outstretched right hand as Herforth and Norton attempted to finish their contest. Finish Herforth did, with a springboard hurricarana that brought the Coliseum fans to their feet and Norton's shoulders to the mat. Immediately following the matchup, the two huge men on the outside entered the ring, from opposite sides, and, in a pattern which would be repeated in the following two matches, approached the victorious wrester. Requiem and Highwayman stood silently, seeming to surround Herforth as their upturned right hands extended what appeared to be an entreaty of some type. Well, Herforth was as baffled as the capacity crowd, he was clearly heard to say the words "what do you guys want?" repeatedly, before Requiem and Highwayman wordlessly dropped their arms, and simultaneously turned their backs on the German. Herforth's agitation at what now appeared to be some type of snub was clear -- but he left the ring without incident, slapping the hands of aisle side fans along the way. WINNER: Chris Herforth by pinfall. (5:36) ----------------------------------------- 5. Derek Mota vs. Scott "the Whine" Bloom ----------------------------------------- The always tough Mota proved too much even while distracted for the always... less than tough... Bloom.  Mota peppered away at Bloom with a series of high-impact maneuvers, finishing him off with a nifty leaping DDT that may well have left "the Whine" buried for several minutes in the canvas, had not he been discarded by an entering Highwayman. Requiem and Highwayman were indeed at ringside during the balance of Derek Mota's matchup -- and again entered the ring with hands outstretched following its conclusion.  Mota, however, seemed to have some sort of idea as to the purpose of the appearance of this "Alliance", going so far as to respond with a "we'll talk later... I'll get you later," before his exit from the ring. No thoughts from this end, folks, on what it is that young Mota believed the two big men to be wordlessly communicating -- but it certainly does bear some watching. WINNER: Derek Mota by pinfall. (4:43) -------------------------------- 6. Ronnie Paris vs. Jumpin' Jack -------------------------------- At this point in the evening, the arena was abuzz with speculation about the actions of the New Generation "Alliance".  As Ronnie Paris entered the ring for his match versus Jumpin' Jack -- and the perimeter walk began its third round -- a discernable pattern became apparent. These three men, Herforth, Mota and Paris, are the three opponents for the member of this "Alliance" who did not make an appearance in the arena tonight, Nightwing, in the first of those Four Corners matches to come on IIWF Saturday Night, the winners of which will meet in a week and a half to crown the new IIWF Cruiserweight Champion.  Well, Paris was in no mood to hear anything that Requiem and Highwayman might _not_ have to say, applying a Texas clover leaf on Jack in near record time, and then stepping outside to confront the two big men himself. Paris was clearly a little agitated, telling the men, "I got no business with you... you've gone the wrong way," before like Herforth before him, Paris found himself staring only at the turned backs of the "Alliance". Young Ronnie Paris was obviously upset by this demonstration -- and did hear the crowd exhortations to attack the two larger men.  But whether discretion or valor, Paris kept his temper in check... and returned to the locker room to an enormous round of applause from his many fans. We're certainly all glad to see Ronnie Paris' return to Portland, as he spent his off week in Geneva, Switzerland -- and was actually fortunate to make it to the arena prior to the opening bell.  I spent my off week with my brother Hoss in Bitters, Arkansas. Different strokes, I guess. WINNER: Ronnie Paris by submission. (2:29) ------------------------------------- 7.  Violence Unlimited v. The Hangmen ------------------------------------- The first surprise in this one was that the Hangmen came to the ring sporting a new manager: Sasha, the longtime companion of the Subway Psycho.  This seemed to provide the hooded Hangmen with some extra incentive -- as they got off to a face start against the newcomers VU, actually scoring numerous nearfalls. However, in the end it was Violence Unlimited: too big, too fast, too strong and too talented for even the game Hangmen.  Violence Unlimited put on a devastating finish, hitting their large opponents with double brainbuster suplexes for a simultaneous three count. The Hangmen actually received a nice ovation for their efforts as they exited the Coliseum, but they simply did not have the firepower to match up with the newcomers tonight. WINNERS: Violence Unlimited by pinfall. (8:01) ------------------------------- 8. Harlequins vs. W & W Express ------------------------------- One of the more entertaining matches of the night was this extremely fast-paced encounter between the relative newcomers Wayne and Watson and the former US Champions, the Harlequins. W & W surprised the Harlequins early by taking the fight directly at the smaller Tragedy, cutting the ring off expertly and leaving a very frustrated Chaos on the outside.  Doug Wayne took every opportunity to taunt Chaos, at one point even asking, "Where's Melody?", in a clear reference to the absent Harlequin valet who was so brutally attacked by Joe Petrow during that Cruiserweight Championship match at Birthday Bash.  I still can't get the image of poor Maurice from my mind... his eyes bulging... Anyway, this proved to be the unwitting demise of the Express. Chaos angrily attempted to storm the ring and was cut off by the official. Tragedy, who had been beaten pillar to post, removed a packet of powder from his trunks, and while the official's attention remained diverted, threw the powder in his own face! Tragedy quickly dumped the packet to a stunned Watson -- and the Harlequins were the recipients of a bizarre disqualification victory. Tragedy left the ring quickly, but had to pull his hot-tempered younger brother away from Wayne, Chaos clearly adversely affected by any reference to the injured Melody.  The Express were obviously upset with the official's unfortunate decision to disqualify them, but their performance was nothing short of impressive -- and could well move them up in the eyes of IIWF Administration. WINNERS: The Harlequins by disqualification. (9:01) ------------------------------------------- 9. Rising Sun Revolution vs. Dark Disciples ------------------------------------------- A more thorough contrast of styles a wrestling fan could not hope to find, as two former World Tag Team Champions hooked it on up tonight. Folks, RSR showed glimpses of what, at one time made them the standardbearers here in the IIWF, but only glimpses.  The snarling, nearly fire-breathing Kane and Wulf were simply too much team for the Revolution, overpowering the smaller men time and time again with the sheer brute mass that they possess, until, finally, the bout was brutally ended with a series of three tiger bombs from the massive Wulf.  Rising Sun Revolution received a well-deserved round of applause as they exited the IIWF Coliseum but one is left to wonder the extent to which fans will have the opportunity to see these men in action much longer. WINNERS: Dark Disciples by pinfall. (13:40) -------------------------- 10. Requiem vs. Mr. Damage -------------------------- The "Alliance" returned to full view with the main event appearance of its apparent leader, Requiem.  The "herald of destruction" took to the ring against a man in Mr. Damage who came in to the contest with an impressive unbeaten record in 1997.  And Mr. Damage would leave the ring the same way. Requiem appeared at ringside sans his compatriots, and instantly attempted to dominate the smaller Damage, hitting him with moves as varied as a half crab and a tilt-a-whirl powerbomb. But the veteran was not easy to dispose of, Mr. Damage surviving numerous nearfall attempts and eventually appearing to frustrate the talented Requiem into trading less than aboveboard tactics with him. The crowd became quite hot for this one, particularly as Mr. Damage hit a remarkable superplex that acheived him a breathtakingly close nearfall... but his quest for a pin was not to be realized -- as Requiem's proximity to defeat seemed to energize him, and he peppered the veteran Damage with closed fisted blows until finally hitting his always impressive rocker-dropper. This seemingly was the end of Mr. Damage's win streak -- however, as Requiem moved for a cover, he was interrupted by the aisleway entrance of the Highwayman, who, with a wave of his hand, beckoned his stablemate to join him. Requiem complied... and was counted out. WINNER: Mr. Damage by countout. (16:49) [The video monitors now display the image of Requiem and Highwayman, leaving the arena quietly to a confused reaction from the fans.] And, folks, that was that: very impressive outings from the two powerhouse tag teams, Violence Unlimited and the Dark Disciples; a sharp and focused Dirt Dog Unique Allah; and more than anything the overwhelming spectre of these men, this New Generation "Alliance", who so shocked all of us with their coming out party at Birthday Bash, appearing wordlessly at ringside during three Cruiserweight matches tonight, perhaps making an offer of some type -- but we don't know for sure. Remember, next week, all the results from the IIWF Coliseum will be brought to you on our new improved War Room, to be hosted by Larry Morton and Becky LaRue. ************************************************************************ ---------------------- TIM DROSS BREAKS IT DOWN ---------------------- ************************************************************************ ["Breakdown" by Tom Petty plays and the monitor wall now displays the words "Coronation Clash 1997" as the shot zooms in on Dross.] CORONATION CLASH CRUSADE TOUR ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Folks, the sun truly never sets on the action that is the IIWF.  We are coming off the very successful Birthday Bash, and now we are already less than two months away from the big event known as Coronation Clash 1997.  And as we step into our second year of existence, the IIWF will do so in grand style, by taking the world's finest wrestling Federation to the people.  That's right -- as announced by acting IIWF President Steve Owens this week, the IIWF is, beginning next week, going on the road. And not just for a week or a month.  Immediately following the big IIWF Saturday Night card this week, we are gassing up the IIWF Express and friends and each and every member of the IIWF family will take a bus tour across the country.  Seven full weeks of IIWF programming which will culminate with Coronation Clash, to be held Saturday, July 12 at the Fleet Center in Boston, Massachusetts. During those half dozen previous weeks, the IIWF will be visiting some of the finest wrestling cities in this nation, and all programming, from Inside, to Countdown, to our two weekly cards, will emanate from a local hotspot. Further, you great fans will have the opportunity to see another side of many of your favorite IIWF superstars as they are able to return to their hometowns -- and wrestle in front of friends and family. Final details for which cities we will visit are still being ironed out, but I can tell you that next week, all IIWF programming will emanate from the Golden State of California... and one week from this Saturday, IIWF Saturday Night will take place at the legendary Cow Palace in beautiful San Francisco, California. Oh, what a night that will be! And what a pay-per-view broadcast Coronation Clash will be, folks. Actually, the event will start some two weeks prior to July 12, when we begin a big 32-man tournament that will be halved -- to just 16 men -- by the time we get to the Coronation Clash itself.  Those 16 superstars will battle on July 12 for a chance at the biggest prize of all... a chance to fight for the IIWF Heavyweight Championship of the World!  I can't wait! THE WINNER AND N...OT CHAMPION OF THE WORLD... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Let's start with the titles about which we are certain.  Casey James is the World Heavyweight Champion.   Will a contender emerge for his belt? Of course.  But, as of now, you have to believe that the Syndicate's reign is fairly solid. Lord Byron is the Intercontinental Champion.  With his victory over the previously white-hot Creed at Birthday Bash, Byron has firmly established himself as not only the IC champ, but truly one of the great wrestlers in all the world.  His hold on the belt will be challenged this Saturday Night when he meets the former three-time IC champion Tiger Claw. Here's where it gets tricky. We may never have had a more, well, a more memorable thirty minutes or so in the history of the IIWF than beginning with the initial appearance of Steve Owens at Birthday Bash. We saw not only the banning of all future matches between Mad Dog Watkins and Brody Thunder, a decision we certainly understand, given the brutal injury suffered by IIWF President Dan Spreadbury during the aftermath of their Birthday Bash matchup -- but then the re-instatement of Steve "Soundbite" Roberts to active broadcast duty in the IIWF. We then saw the Cruiserweight Championship match between Steve Kowalski and Joe Petrow, a match that might not have had the inherent poetry of a Dan Kauffman vs. Chris Quigley, but perhaps made up for it in the sheer enthusiasm of the participants. In the end, it was Sychosys, planting Steve Kowalski through the Bulldog Brown folding table with his Knightmare slam, and grabbing the pinfall victory. But Steve Owens was not through carrying the Administrative banner. He immediately suspended Steve Kowalski without pay from the IIWF roster -- and stripped the Cruiserweight Championship from a very reluctant Petrow. To say that neither man is happy would be a frightening understatement. Steve Kowalski has disappeared, leaving his belongings behind as he apparently has not merely been suspended from active duty, but barred from the building entirely -- whispers of restraining orders have even been heard in the halls of the IIWF Towers.    Joe Petrow has also been keeping a low profile as of late, his locker, unlike the Fury's, is completely bare -- a torn "Joe Petrow. Period." t-shirt being the only remaining symbol of his current status.  We understand that Petrow will be at IIWF Saturday Night -- and will participate in one of those big Four Corners elimination matches. And that is how this belt situation will be resolved.  This Saturday Night we will see some truly historic Cruiserweight action.  Two Four Corners elimination matches, courtesy of acting President Steve Owens, who has long been known to profess as true geometric love of the four corners match, will take place.  The winners of each match to move on to the Cow Palace in San Francisco, one week from Saturday, where one man will be crowned IIWF Cruiserweight Champion. The tag team situation is simple.  This Saturday two teams will enter the Coliseum with belts -- and only one will leave with gold still around their waists. The US belts are being decommissioned. In other words, they are gone. Pain Inc. and the Prophets of Rage will meet with the winners being named IIWF World Tag Team Champions.  There must be a winner, folks, and whether it is by pinfall, disqualification, submission or countout, the winners of this match will be the sole tag team champions of the IIWF. It is certainly a surprising decision, but truthfully, the IIWF is right now at a mere thirteen active tag teams -- and there are some back room whispers that nearly half of them are in some sort of trouble.  I'd have to agree with the line of thought that says that two seperate belts, for a relatively small number of tag teams, is a little superfluous.  I don't know what the official word on this is, folks, but I can tell all of you fans of IIWF tag wrestling that you may be entering an interesting period, a period of rapid and dramatic change within the IIWF tag ranks -- and it will all start this Saturday Night, when the Prophets of Rage meet Pain Inc. for all the marbles. NEW BEGINNINGS... NEW BEGINNINGS ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The winds of change are always blowing here in the IIWF, and some of our most popular superstars have been carried away. Gone are the Night Patrol, losers in their final IIWF tilt against Pain Inc.  The Patrol certainly took no prisioners during their initial foray into IIWF competiton, quickly named as the very first US Tag Champions. Their fortunes quickly took a turn for the worse, however, and Keene and Blazer have amicably gone their separate ways.  David Keene has opened a law enforcement supply shop in Houston, and Jack Blazer has gone overseas where he will be wrestling in another promotion. We wish the Patrol luck -- as do we two IIWF veterans whose departures have been announced elsewhere: "The White Phoenix" Shinja Chow and the Sandman.  Interestingly enough, the leavetaking of both those men was indirectly related to the actions of one man, Steve "the Fury" Kowalski, who is also not with the IIWF currently, his suspension by acting President Steve Owens already having been discussed. And that is, of course, the biggest departure of all.  IIWF President Dan Spreadbury, injured at Birthday Bash, is apparently fine and convalescing at a remote location.  I use the word "apparently" as all attempts to contact President Spreadbury have been ineffective. However, acting President Steve Owens assures us all that he has conversations with President Dan on a daily basis -- and that he has the President's full support. We'll keep you posted on that situation, folks. As will we on the status of three returnees to the IIWF; "Dangerous" Danny Dynamite, as mentioned earlier, returned to active IIWF duty at Birthday Bash, and was very impressive in his Syndicate debut.  Another surprise return at Birthday Bash came in the form of "The Showstopper" Simon Lebec, who made a broadcasting appearance at our anniversary celebration. Lebec will apparently be seen on a regular basis here in the IIWF as some of the broadcasting duties are shuffled around.  "The Showstopper" will be hosting his own weekly interview segment which will run on IIWF Saturday Night in the spot previously occupied by "LaRue's Lair"  Now, Becky LaRue will also be leaving what has always been the finest pre-game show in the business, "Countdown to Saturday Night", in order to devote her time to the new Wednesday broadcast and a book project which apparently will be taking her to many exotic locales during her off hours.  We all look forward to reading Ms. LaRue's opus. Or something like that. This Friday, we eagerly welcome a new member of the IIWF broadcast family. Jackson Witt, a reporter and succesful radio host, will now team with Larry Morton on what is sure to be a new and different "Countdown to Saturday Night."  We hope that all you great fans will enjoy the many changes here on IIWF television, as we strive to maintain the sort of top notch, quality programming to which we have all grown accustomed during the first year of the IIWF. [There is a noticeable off-camera noise. Steve "Soundbite" Roberts moves into the shot.] SR: Okay, Dross -- you're puttin' us all to sleep here, buddy.  I know you try hard, spending hours and hours of production time, putting together your little show here. But the truth is... well, let's just say that if you were on 24 hours a day, Nyquil stock would drop through the floor. TD: Steve Roberts, you know that your segment isn't appearing this week.  Can we please just finish the show?  SR: Look, I just want to tell the people that there's more to this network than you and grain, Dross.  So listen up, morons. Starting next week, I'll be back on "Inside the IIWF" for my brand new, show shaking, industry saving segment which will be called, "Shoot, Soundbite! Shoot!" Now here's the deal -- and I want all of you to listen up and listen good.  I have an agreement with my good friend Steve Owens to come back and have my own segment on this show... where I can say anything. Get that, morons?  Any damn thing I want. TD: I'll be sure to direct the calls from Chris Quigley's attorney to your office. SR: Oh, you're such a damn wimp, Dross.  What do you think -- the only game that I have is biscuits and blow up dolls?  Let me tell you how this is gonna work.  I have no more interest in Chrissie Quigley -- he lost.  He's a loser.  End of story.  A bad story.  A short story.  A real short story.  Ask Troy. There ain't a man, woman or Morton in the IIWF who will be spared the full wrath of the Man they Call Soundbite.  I'll take on whoever I want -- whenever I want.  'Cause that's the kind of guy I am, I'll take on anyone, anywhere, any... oh, oh my knee... my painful knee... who's my daddy?  Will you be my daddy, Dross? Anyway, I will come hard at anyone in the IIWF and do it any damn way or time that I want. Except on Saturdays. TD: Excuse me? SR: Yeah, that's the deal me and Prez #2 made -- I can shoot all night long on Tuesdays, God knows you need the ratings, Dross... but on the Saturday broadcast, I'll just be loveable old Soundbite.  Just like I've always been.  Week after week.  Month after month.  Year after year. Damn, do I need a drink. [Soundbite makes his way from the shot, yelling to men named Sonny and Red to pull the car around.] TD: Steve Roberts, ladies and gentlemen. Well, he will return to this program next week, as will young Steve Summer, both of whom I am certain that you will look forward to seeing again. I think I need a drink, too. ************************************************************************ ----------------- FIRST LOOK: This week in the IIWF ------------------ ************************************************************************ It all will go down this Saturday Night from the IIWF Coliseum. Here's your _First Look_ at all the action: SATURDAY 24 MAY: 1. IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP FOUR CORNERS MATCH: Ronnie Paris vs. Chris Herforth vs. Derek Mota vs. Nightwing 2. Duncan Macbeth vs. Marty Warnett 3. Highwayman vs. "Real Deal" Luke Steele 4. FOR 20 WINS: Armed Forces vs. High Plains Drifters 5. "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley vs. Mr. Damage 6. Creed vs. Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven 7. "ALL OR NOTHING" TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP UNIFICATION MATCH: Pain Inc. [World Champs] vs. Prophets of Rage [US Champs] 8. IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Lord Byron [c] vs. Tiger Claw 9. IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP FOUR CORNERS MATCH: "Sychosys" Joe Petrow vs. "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare vs. "Enigma" Takezo Musashi vs. Dirt Dog Unique Allah Nine big matches on the card, bracketed by those elimination matches to crown the new Cruiserweight Champion.  A battle of the young lions to kick off the show, and in the Main Event, three men who have held Cruiserweight Gold... including Joe Petrow... will meet along with the unpredictable Dirt Dog Unique Allah. Also on the card are those two tag team matches: the All or Nothing Championship Match between Pain Inc and the Prophets of Rage; and the Race to 20 Wins will finally be won by one of those two veteran tag teams, the Armed Forces or the High Plains Drifters. We also have the Intercontinental defense of Lord Byron against three-time champion Tiger Claw, and the return to the ring of two men who had heartbreaking championship losses at Birthday Bash: Chris Quigley and Creed. Superstars such as Highwayman and Marty Warnett will also be in action -- and you can see it all on IIWF Saturday Night! ************************************************************************ ----------------------- IIWF SINGLES RANKINGS ------------------------ ************************************************************************ as at 21/5/97 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Casey James H 40 23 15 2 60% (WC) WC Lord Byron H 23 18 5 0 78% (IC) IC Vacant - - - - - - (CW) CW ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Deathbringer H 33 23 7 3 74% (2) 1 Creed N 16 11 4 1 72% (3) 2 Subway Psycho F 35 24 9 2 71% (4) 3 "Enigma" Takezo Musashi F 31 22 9 0 71% (5) 4 Mad Dog Watkins H 15 10 4 1 70% (6) 5 Otto Verhoeven H 33 22 10 1 68% (7) 6 "Sychosys" Joe Petrow N 14 9 4 1 68% (8) 7 Billy Shakespeare F 38 25 12 1 67% (9) 8 Nightwing F 12 8 4 0 67% (10) 9 Requiem F 9 5 2 2 67% (1) 10 Chris Quigley F 29 18 9 2 66% (11) 11 Highwayman F 11 7 4 0 64% (12) 12 Mr. Damage H 32 20 12 0 63% (13) 13 Brody Thunder H 22 13 8 1 61% (14) 14 Marty Warnett F 39 23 16 0 59% (15) 15 Dirt Dog Unique Allah N 19 10 7 2 58% (16) 16 Ronnie Paris F 16 9 7 0 56% (19) 17 Derek Mota H 8 4 3 1 56% (22) 18 "Real Deal" Luke Steele F 11 6 5 0 55% (17) 19 Tiger Claw H 47 24 21 2 53% (18) 20 Chris Herforth N 17 9 8 0 53% (20) 21 Serge Annis N 13 6 6 1 50% (21) 22 Tony Starks F 6 3 3 0 50% (23) 23 The Hangman H 17 6 7 4 47% (24) 24 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Scott Rogers F 1 1 0 0 100% (25) 25 Danny Dynamite H 1 1 0 0 100% (-) 26 Ike Sampson F 4 3 1 0 75% (26) 27 Duncan Macbeth N 3 2 1 0 67% (27) 28 Simon Lebec H - - - - - (-) - ------------------------------ suspended ------------------------------- Steve "Fury" Kowalski H 21 15 6 0 71% (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************ ----------------------- IIWF TAG TEAM RANKINGS ----------------------- ************************************************************************ as at 21/5/97 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name of team F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Pain Inc. H 23 14 8 1 63% (WT) WT Prophets of Rage H 10 9 1 0 90% (US) US ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Cold Spell F 10 7 3 0 70% (1) 1 The Armed Forces H 30 19 10 1 65% (2) 2 High Plains Drifters H 32 19 12 1 61% (4) 3 Rising Sun Revolution F 18 11 7 0 61% (3) 4 The Harlequins N 12 7 5 0 58% (7) 5 Dark Disciples H 17 9 7 1 56% (8) 6 W & W Express H 11 6 5 0 55% (5) 7 The Hangmen H 21 10 9 2 52% (6) 8 The Zodiac Connection F 26 13 13 0 50% (9) 9 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Violence Unlimited N 1 1 0 0 100% (-) 10 The Last Resort F 4 3 1 0 75% (10) 11 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************ ------------- COMING FRIDAY: Countdown to Saturday Night ------------- ************************************************************************ Well, that's all the time we have this week, folks.  Remember, next week we will return to our regular Tuesday time, and be followed by the new Wednesday recap show.  This week, please join Steve "Soundbite" Roberts for a look at one of the great matches on IIWF Classics.  Friday, of course is "Countdown to Saturday Night", with Larry Morton and his new co-host Jackson Witt.  And that brings us to the hottest two hours in all of wrestling: IIWF Saturday Night. So, for all of us here at IIWF news, I am Tim Dross, saying: good night! [Prince's "Joy in Repetition" begins as Dross stifles a small yawn and the shot fades.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Jim Jividen | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | brokeback@webtv.net | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+