[Tony Bennett's "I Left My Heart In San Francisco" soars over various languid shots of the city often referred to as "the best place on earth."  Lombard St.  The Ghiardelli chocolate factory.  Haight-Ashbury. Fisherman's Wharf.  The majestic Golden Gate Bridge.  Coit Tower. Alcatraz.  The San Francisco Bay.... The chord now harshens... and the scene shifts... it is of last week's IIWF Saturday Night. The music is "Descent Into the Inferno" by Foetus and the shots are of Ronnie Paris and Dirt Dog Unique Allah, each standing more than a little surprised as the sole survivor in their respective Cruiserweight elimination matches. Now we see Tony Starks, leaping over the retaining barrier to attack Lord Byron, while the red-gloved rookie Creed looks on and Otto Verhoeven slugs in out with Mad Dog Watkins inside the ring.  Finally, the shot is of Casey James, his customary cool blown as he lays the IIWF Championship belt at the feet of his perhaps former friend and colleague Brody Thunder, thumping a big finger in the cowboy's chest as the two men go nose to nose and the shot and the music fade...] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "INSIDE THE IIWF" with Tim Dross Tuesday 27 May 1997 ----------------------------------------------- [An industrial version of the Rolling Stones' "Gimme Shelter" belts out as the shot opens inside a San Francisco nightclub known as Bondage A Go-Go which is located at the world famous Trocadero on San Francisco's Bryant Street.  A number of young men and women, seeming to engage in various manners of peversion, are in the background of the shot.  The scene is crowded with piercings, wild multi-colored hair and various sexually related paraphenalia.  There is a definite undertone of gothicism as the room's corners appear filled with undernourished twenty-somethings, doing little more than milling about, their unisex long black hair and heavy black makeup giving not a clue as to gender identity. In the midst of all of this -- is Tim Dross. He is dressed as is he always, a blue IIWF blazer and slate grey dress slacks.  His addition of a handpainted Grateful Dead tie his only concession to his surroundings.] TD: Hello, fans, and welcome to San Francisco, California! This is "Inside the IIWF", your weekly look at all the news, views, reviews and previews, highlights and sidelights, cheers and jeers; a look behind at the week that was and up ahead at the week that will be here in the finest wrestling federation in the world today, the _mighty_ IIWF! I am Tim Dross and this is, well, this is Bondage A Go-Go... what has been described to me... [A young man, who, like everyone else in the club is completely oblivious to the production of a professional wrestling television program in their midst, bumps into Dross, spilling some sort of orange liquid that seems to evaporate upon the impact with Dross' suit jacket. Dross shakes his head slowly and continues..] ...as the oldest fetish/goth/industrial club in San Francisco.  So, I suppose our congratulations have to go out to them for that. Folks, these _unique_ surroundings aside... we are in the great wrestling town of San Francisco, California -- the first leg in our Coronation Clash Crusade Tour which will culminate at the Fleet Center in Boston, Massachusetts on July 12, when sixteen of the greatest superstars in the world will meet in the conclusion of the Coronation Clash Tournament -- with the prize on the line being a shot at the IIWF Heavyweight Championship! [In the hazy background, a young woman appears to have slipped to her knees amidst a crowd of slowly moving men.] Oh my.  Well, we sure ain't in Portland anymore, I'll tell you that, folks. But, we were last week. IIWF Saturday Night emanated from the IIWF Coliseum and here is your Superstar of the Week. ************************************************************************ ------------------------ SUPERSTAR OF THE WEEK ----------------------- ************************************************************************ As always, a difficult selection this week, but we at Inside the IIWF have decided to pick a stable as Superstar of the Week -- and no, it is not the Syndicate. The Age of the Rage, perhaps an overlooked outfit when describing the IIWF pantheon, certainly made a bold strike Saturday Night -- sufficient that it is they who deserve the title of Superstar of the Week. First, it was the Prophets of Rage, establishing firmly with their victory over Pain, Inc. that it is they who are the sole IIWF Tag Team Champions.  Derek and Shadoe Rage have had almost unabated success since joining the ranks of the IIWF earlier this year, and now have the big belts around their waists to show for it.  As the tag team situation appears to be gaining some clarity, taking on some focus, you have to be impressed by the way that this tag team has grabbed the proverbial bull by the horns. [An older man, his middle-aged paunch unfortunately exposed by his ill-fitting black latex outfit begins convulsing in the background, dropping to the floor in a spinning fit... as with the goings on of Tim Dross, no one appears to notice.] Can we get that man a... can we get that man...? Okay, the Prophets were only the first half of the evening's equation for the Age of the Rage. In the evening's Main Event, it was Dirt Dog Unique Allah who defeated three former Cruiserweight Champions to earn a spot in perhaps the unlikeliest Cruiserweight Championship Match that we've ever seen in the IIWF -- when Unique will face third generation superstar Ronnie Paris for the gold this Saturday Night! With the remarkable double feat of the Prophets of Rage, and Dirt Dog Unique Allah, it is the Age of the Rage to whom we award the honor of Superstar of the Week! Now, let's take one last look at what went down this past Saturday Night. [A large video wall in the back of the club, which had been showing creepily sado-masochistic images -- which would have been disturbing had anyone been paying attention -- now shifts to highlights of the two Four Corners Cruiserweight Elimination matches from Saturday Night.  "Gutter Glitter" by Switchblade Symphony blasts through the club while not a single head turns to watch the highlight package, and the results scroll across the screen:] Dirt Dog Unique Allah def. B. Shakespeare/J. Petrow/T. Musashi Lord Byron def. Tiger Claw Prophets of Rage def. Pain Inc. Otto Verhoeven draw Mad Dog Watkins Chris Quigley def. Mr. Damage (DQ) Armed Forces def. High Plains Drifters Highwayman def. Luke Steele Marty Warnett def. Duncan Macbeth Ronnie Paris def. D. Mota/Nightwing/C. Herforth [The music fades into an industrial beat and Dross now resumes.] Also, we at Inside the IIWF would like to congratulate the Armed Forces on their tremendous accomplishment this past Saturday Night in defeating the High Plains Drifters and becoming the first tag team in IIWF history to reach the magical twenty-win plateau. This was also the final IIWF match for Nav and Def -- and their fine IIWF tag career should serve as a measuring stick for those who will come after.  Congratulations and good luck to the Armed Forces! ************************************************************************ ------------------- SUMMERTIME: with Steve Summer -------------------- ************************************************************************ [Oingo Boingo's "Only A Lad" thumps over the P.A. as Steve Summer hops into the shot.  Summer is enthusiastic, but obviously a little out of his element at the club.  He is wearing what appears to be a leather beret, but it's countered by a bright red San Francisco 49ers #16 football jersey.  His entrance is noticed by not a soul in the club, who continue their... goings on.] TD: Welcome to San Francisco, young Summer. SS: This is so cool, Mr. Dross, I can't even tell you.  I had some Gallo salame this morning, thanks for the tip, Mr. Dross. TD: Finest luncheon meat in the world, Steve. SS: I went out to 3 Com park... TD: [interrupting] Candlestick. SS: Right, Candlestick Park to watch the Giants beat the Astros... some girls even recognized me, Mr. Dross!  I signed my first autograph!  I love this town! TD: I'm glad you're enjoying our little trip so far, Steve. SS: Well, I'm not crazy about the seat on the bus, Mr. Morton has all those Chuck Norris pictures... TD: That's fine, Steve -- would you like to say anything to the good people at home before you and I take our _First Look_ at tomorrow's matches? SS: Yeah, it has been a great time for the New Generation here in the IIWF... a little scary, sure, there's a lotta yelling going on in the front offices these days... have you seen Mr. Owens?  Anyway, there's a new King in town, Mr. Dross. His name is Requiem and he and the boys in Genesis are taking over the IIWF. TD: I find that highly unlikely, Steve. SS: No -- did you see what they did to the Deathbringer at the Bash, Mr. Dross?  Thumpity, thump, thump went the dead man.  And that's just Requiem. What about Highwayman... when's that guy gonna get some credit? All he does is beat everyone they put in front of him?  Saturday it was Luke Steele -- now, I got nothing against the Real Deal, but he was out of his league against the Highwayman.  And Nightwing... did you see the moves he was making in that Cruiserweight Match!  Nightwing can go -- I'm telling you, Mr. Dross.  These guys are the future of the IIWF! It's all about the New Generation - I mean... If guys like Creed and Ronnie Paris would join!  They'd kick major ass!  Come on, Mr. Dross, it's time to hop on board the New Gen Genesis train.  They're gonna hold all the belts pretty soon. My boy Paris is gonna take the Cruiser belt this Saturday Night, and we are gonna have a huge New Generation celebration right here in San Francisco!  Am I right, folks? Let me hear it! [The air is now growing musky with the familiar to some sweet scent of cannibis, and what appears to be a small goat is being brought into a back room... but not a peep rises in support of Summer's request.  Not an eye has turned in the direction of any of the IIWF personnel, even at this point.] SS: All right! All right... all right.  [Steve looks a little downcast and Dross puts a hand on his shoulder.] TD: That's okay, young Summer.  There's nothing anyone can do.  Let's get to the Wednesday card. ************************************************************************ ------------------- FIRST LOOK: Wednesday War Room ------------------- ************************************************************************ TD: Well, tomorrow night from the Pacific Coast Sports Gymnasium in Hayward, California we will see a hot show in a small room.  With a capacity of under 1000 people, we are going to see a truly intimate, revved up show tomorrow night... one of the more intriguing mid-week shows in IIWF history.  Here is your _First Look_ at all the upcoming action. ------------------------------------ Deathbringer vs. Jumpin' Jack Billy Shakespeare vs. El Super Gecko Serge Annis vs. Casey C. Cold Spell vs. Barnacle Brothers Last Resort vs. Rotundos ------------------------------------ TD: Well, some top flight IIWF Superstars will be in action right off the bat in Hayward tomorrow night, we'll see the Deathbringer for the first time since his devastating loss at Birthday Bash. We'll see another former champion Billy Shakespeare -- and a man who is one of the most acclaimed brawlers in all the world, Serge Annis. SS: Yeah, and what will really be a treat for the people in Hayward will be those tag matches.  The best tag team in the world, Cold Spell, will be in action.  Hey, Mr. Dross -- when will Cold Spell finally get the respect they deserve?  And also we'll have the Last Resort -- with another good friend of mine, the Masked Avenger.  TD: I think Cold Spell is a highly respected tag team, and that they simply have to wait their turn. SS: See, that's what you guys just don't get, Mr. Dross. We're done waiting... It's our turn right now.  And maybe Cold Spell's just gotta take what they want. ----------------------------------------- IIWF Tag Team Championship: Prophets of Rage vs. High Plains Drifters ----------------------------------------- TD: Well, that thousand or so IIWF fans will get a real treat tomorrow night, as the new tag team champions will have their first title defence against the former champs, High Plains Drifters. SS: Well, the Prophets will run over the old guys, no question about it -- but they'd better watch their backs for Cold Spell.  ---------------------------------------- Rising Sun Revolution vs. Dark Disciples ---------------------------------------- TD: Two former champions will also meet on Wednesday night -- that's a lot of ex-belt holders in the ring at once.  It's tough to tell where the Disciples are at right now... they certainly played an instrumental role in accidentally causing their stablemates, Pain, Inc. to drop the tag belts, and they frankly appear to be on the outs with Syndicate leadership. SS: Yeah, and also on the outs is RSR. These guys are just plain out. Mr. Dross, when are some of these teams gonna get the message and hang it up?  I mean, no offense to the Revolution, but at least the Armed Forces knew when to get out. ----------------------------- Tiger Claw vs. Duncan Macbeth ----------------------------- TD: This is a match involving two men who come in with nasty, nasty attitudes.  Tiger Claw not only narrowly lost a close match against Intercontinental Champion Lord Byron, but then appeared to get the short end of a wild backstage brawl with Derek Mota following the match. Macbeth also appears to have a sour disposition, not only was he defeated at Birthday Bash -- but again last Saturday when Marty Warnett really surprised a number of people in that capacity crowd by utilizing a foreign object to defeat him.  This is a situation where both men are obviously in need of a victory tomorrow night, and will probably do whatever it takes to get it. SS: Two words: Derek Mota.  Come on Mr. Dross, you have to know Mota Love is gonna be in the house.  He took it to Claw on Saturday Night, and you know there's no love lost between he and Macbeth.  This one will be a New Generation special.  ---------------------------- Ike Sampson vs. Scott Rogers ---------------------------- TD: Speaking of the "New Generation", young Summer, we have two of the most promising fan favorites who will hook it up in this one.  Sampson certainly impressed all of us with his win in that triangle match at Birthday Bash... and Scott Rogers is a guy who I know that many people within the IIWF front offices are looking forward to good things from. These two men are probably more "potential than polish" right now, but will put on a spirited battle this Wednesday Night. SS: Excellent! Do you all like to see the young guys go at it, everyone? [Again, complete disinterest from the house.] --------------------------------- Chris Herforth vs. Danny Dynamite --------------------------------- TD: And if it's a show that you want to see... who better to put one on than two high flying cruiserweights here in the IIWF?  Danny Dynamite returned to the IIWF rings last Wednesday Night -- and with his Syndicate stablemates Tiger Claw and the Dark Disciples also in attendance, it could be an uphill battle for young Herforth. SS: It's always an uphill battle for the young guys around here, Mr. Dross.  Sort of like with this crowd... TD: Well, be sure to tune in tomorrow night for a recap of all the action from the Pacific Coast Sports Gymnasium, brought to you on our new improved IIWF Wednesday War Room, hosted by Larry Morton and Ms. Becky LaRue. It's sure to be exciting. ************************************************************************ ---------------------- Shoot, Soundbite! SHOOT! ---------------------- ************************************************************************ [Suddenly, the heavy music in the club starts... and Van Halen's "Running With The Devil" begins as the taped voice of Sparkplug Lee is heard:] SL: Ladies and gentlemen, Steve "Soundbite" Roberts! [The Soundbite enters the shot, wearing his forest green t-shirt upon which he is pictured with a gun to the head of a masked wrestler and the words "Shoot, Soundbite! Shoot!" written underneath. Roberts is also sporting a huge, pink Brody Thunder cowboy hat.. and a pair of leather chaps. Upon his emergence, the nonplussed gathering of young goths, submissives and otherwise addled young people stop their aggressive apathy... and immediately begin shouting in unison, "Shoot, Soundbite! Shoot! Shoot, Soundbite! Shoot!"] TD: Steve Roberts, these people... how do you possibly do it? [The chants continue ever louder, hundreds of fists thrusting, er, into the air. "Shoot, Soundbite! Shoot!"] SR: Dross, big man.  When are you gonna realize that it's a Steve Roberts world and the rest of you are all just taking up space? These are my people, even the freaks can be L'il Soundbiters.  Ain't that right, freaks? ["Shoot, Soundbite! Shoot! Shoot, Soundbite! Shoot!"] TD: You are a strange and mysterious man, Steve Roberts. SR: Damn straight, Chester.  All right, here's the deal today.  Brody Thunder... what the hell is the matter with you, boy?  I can't believe you are that stupid.  Do you think you can mess with the Syndicate?  Do you think you can challenge a man like Casey James and not get your ass knocked out?  I can't believe it -- he has carried you for months, trying to let you get a little reflected glory... trying to let you in on the big win.  And what happens?  What happens? Listen, you phone home to Arizona to that little wife of yours, tell her to climb down from your pool boy for just a couple of minutes so she can get your funeral arrangements in order.  Because this Saturday Night, Casey James takes one more step to the Hall of Fame, and you take one more step to wrestling alligators at County fairs. [A buxom young lady, dressed from head to toe in black, a number of pentagrams affixed to her body rushes to Roberts, dropping the top of her dress to the astonishment of Dross and the "Inside" director, who quickly orders another shot. The young woman gives a magic marker to Soundbite, asking if he can autograph her left breast.] SR: Sure baby, how bout I sign 'em both... don't want to make the right one jealous.  [Roberts seems to be writing an approximation of the Magna Carta, as he takes several moments to finish his autograph before resuming.] SR: Where was I...? Yeah, that's right.  The Intercontinental Championship.  What more doesn Lord Byron have to do?  He beats Creed at Birthday Bash... he beats Tiger Claw -- and now he's got to deal with some type of Black Pack that's forming in the IIWF?  How many guys have to hang out with this Creed before people realize he ain't ever getting in the ring again?  I don't know how he suckered Mad Dog Watkins into taking his place against Verhoeven last week -- but he did.  I don't know how he convinced Tony Starks to take a match against Byron next week -- but he did.  You know what all these _brothers_ are gonna find out? Creed's a loser -- and they're losers for following him around.  Come on morons, we're in Creed's hometown, all his little fans will be at the card this week -- and he still isn't wrestling.  He's done!  He's done!  And the sooner guys like Watkins and Starks realize they backed the wrong horse, and apologize to the European Alliance for getting in their way, the better off we'll all be. ["Shoot, Soundbite! Shoot!"] TD: Well, any thoughts about Steve Summer's favorite topic, Genesis? SR: Who? [The taped voice of Sparkplug Lee is again heard as "Running with the Devil" kicks back in...] SL: The Soundbite has left the building!  The Soundbite has left the building! TD: Steve "Soundbite" Roberts, ladies and gentlemen. [As Roberts exits, the attention of the club then completely diverts from the IIWF set up.  Not a person in the house seems aware that Dross is still in the room.]  ************************************************************************ ------------------ FIRST LOOK: IIWF Saturday Night ------------------- ************************************************************************ A tremendous card on tap live from the historic Cow Palace right here in San Francisco this Saturday Night. All three singles belts will be on the line.  Here's your _First Look_ at all the action: - IIWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: = Casey "Blackheart" James [c] vs. "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder - IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: = Lord Byron [c] vs. Tony Starks - IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: = Ronnie Paris vs. Dirt Dog Unique Allah - Violence Unlimited vs. Pain Inc. - Cold Spell vs. Harlequins - Subway Psycho vs. "Sychosys" Joe Petrow - Derek Mota vs. Marty Warnett - KING OF HOLLYWOOD MATCH: = Zodiac Connection vs. W & W Express - "Showstopper" Simon Lebec vs. El Super Gecko [J] Not only will we have those three big singles encounters, but two outstanding singles matches when Derek Mota takes on Marty Warnett and Joe Petrow and the Subway Psycho hook up for the first time in the careers of these two superstars. Also, the tag team ranks will be on display when Violence Unlimited makes its IIWF Saturday Night debut against the now former champions Pain, Inc., and Cold Spell takes on the Harlequins. Also, the red gloved rookie Creed is not the only superstar making a homecoming of sorts. The IIWF's two California bred tag-teams, Zodiac Connection and the W&W Express will meet in a King of Hollywood match -- with the winner being named the wrestling King of Hollywood. An exciting match, and add in the return to the ring of the "Showstopper" Simon Lebec and you have quite a great night of action! ************************************************************************ ----------------------- IIWF SINGLES RANKINGS ------------------------ ************************************************************************ as at 24/5/97 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Casey James H 40 23 15 2 60% (WC) WC Lord Byron H 24 19 5 0 79% (IC) IC Vacant - - - - - - (CW) CW ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Deathbringer H 33 23 7 3 74% (1) 1 Creed N 16 11 4 1 72% (2) 2 Subway Psycho F 35 24 9 2 71% (3) 3 "Enigma" Takezo Musashi F 31 22 9 0 71% (4) 4 Mad Dog Watkins H 16 10 4 2 69% (5) 5 Otto Verhoeven H 34 22 10 2 68% (6) 6 Chris Quigley F 30 19 9 2 67% (11) 7 Highwayman F 12 8 4 0 67% (12) 8 Requiem F 9 5 2 2 67% (10) 9 Billy Shakespeare F 39 25 13 1 66% (8) 10 "Sychosys" Joe Petrow N 15 9 5 1 63% (7) 11 Nightwing F 13 8 5 0 62% (9) 12 Mr. Damage H 33 20 13 0 61% (13) 13 Brody Thunder H 22 13 8 1 61% (14) 14 Marty Warnett F 40 24 16 0 60% (15) 15 Dirt Dog Unique Allah N 20 11 7 2 60% (16) 16 Ronnie Paris F 17 10 7 0 58% (17) 17 Tiger Claw H 48 24 22 2 52% (20) 18 Chris Herforth N 18 9 9 0 50% (21) 19 Serge Annis N 13 6 6 1 50% (22) 20 "Real Deal" Luke Steele F 12 6 6 0 50% (19) 21 Derek Mota H 9 4 4 1 50% (18) 22 Tony Starks F 6 3 3 0 50% (23) 23 The Hangman H 17 6 7 4 47% (24) 24 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Scott Rogers F 1 1 0 0 100% (25) 25= Danny Dynamite H 1 1 0 0 100% (26) 25= Ike Sampson F 4 3 1 0 75% (27) 27 Duncan Macbeth N 4 2 2 0 50% (28) 28 Simon Lebec H - - - - - (-) - ------------------------------ suspended ------------------------------- Steve "Fury" Kowalski H 21 15 6 0 71% (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************ ----------------------- IIWF TAG TEAM RANKINGS ----------------------- ************************************************************************ as at 24/5/97 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name of team F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Prophets of Rage H 11 10 1 0 91% (US) WT ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Cold Spell F 10 7 3 0 70% (1) 1 Rising Sun Revolution F 18 11 7 0 61% (4) 2 Pain Inc. H 24 14 9 1 60% (WT) 3 High Plains Drifters H 33 19 13 1 59% (3) 4 The Harlequins N 12 7 5 0 58% (5) 5 Dark Disciples H 17 9 7 1 56% (6) 6 W & W Express H 11 6 5 0 55% (7) 7 The Hangmen H 21 10 9 2 52% (8) 8 The Zodiac Connection F 26 13 13 0 50% (9) 9 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Violence Unlimited N 1 1 0 0 100% (10) 10 The Last Resort F 4 3 1 0 75% (11) 11 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************ ------------- COMING FRIDAY: Countdown to Saturday Night ------------- ************************************************************************ Well, folks, that's all the time we have for you this week.  Be sure to tune in tomorrow night when Becky LaRue and Larry Morton bring you all the action from the Pacific Coast Sports Gymnasium in "IIWF Wednesday War Room", then Thursday my tag-team colleague, Steve "Soundbite" Roberts will bring you one of the great matches in "IIWF Classics". Friday is, of course, the big pre-game show hosted by Larry Morton and the newest member of our broadcast family, Jackson Witt, "Countdown to Saturday Night"... and then, the finest two hours of wrestling in the business, this week coming to you live and direct from the historic Cow Palace here in San Francisco -- IIWF Saturday Night! Be sure to tune in for all the great action! So, for Steve "Soundbite" Roberts, Steve Summer, and all of us here at "Inside the IIWF", I am Tim Dross, saying: good night! ["Richest Junkie Still Alive" by the Machines of Loving Grace begins as Dross quickly packs up his gear and, giving one last mildly irritated look around, exits the club as the shot fades.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Steve Owens | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | sowens@admin.presby.edu | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | IIWFadmin@aol.com | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+