[Stock war footage is superimposed over that of grappling wrestlers.  The sounds of explosions accompany.  Finally is heard the whistle of one falling bomb.  A mushroom cloud of flame flares from its impact, and from the blast spins the IIWF logo:]                  #####     ######   ###            ##########              ########## ########## ####       ##  ##########              ########## ########## ####  #   #### ########                #####      #####    #### ##  ##### ####                 ####       ####    #### ### ####  ####                 ####       ####    ############# #########                 ####       ####     ########### #########                 ####       ####     ####  ####   ####              #########  #########   ###   ####   ####              #########  #########   ###    ##    ####               ########   ########   ##      #    ####              =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-=                            W E D N E S D A Y                           /////////                  \\\\\\\\\\                             W A R  R O O M              =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=                             28  M A Y  1997 -----------------------------------------------------           Pacific Coast Sports Gymnasium in Hayward, California [Larry Morton and Becky LaRue sit at a makeshift broadcast table in the center of the Gymnasium ring.  Each wears camouflage printed clothing. Larry in fatigues, Becky in a plunge neck evening gown.] LM: Welcome to the War Room!  I'm Larry Morton and my camouflaged     companion is the legendary Becky LaRue.  Nice dress, Becky. I didn't     know they made evening dresses in camo. BL: Coco Chanel owed me a favor.  A dress like this is imperative for me     these days.  I _have_ to hide.  Ever since his sudden promotion, Veep Owens keeps stalking me, mumbling something about "Executive     privilege". LM: Well, it's good to be reunited back on Wednesday night, right? BL: The pleasure is all yours.  Yet it seems like only yesterday that you were miscalling moves and butchering the play-by-play.  Oh, wait... that _WAS_ yesterday. LM: You're just bitter because you've been replaced on Saturday. BL: On the contrary.  The suits wanted me to do a joint interview with Marty Warnett _and_ Chris Quigley.  I walked out.  As for Lebec, he ought to keep his mouth shut. Or must I remind him of the time he offered me a double feature but only produced a short subject? LM: I can see that nothing has changed around here.  What was that talk     about a book deal? BL: Oh, no, not a book.  Coincidentally it was a movie deal.  I was to     play the suffering wife of a small time football coach.  You should     see the way I inspire him to adopt the spread formation. LM: [winces] So what stopped you? BL: As always, the money.  They overpaid the writer and had nothing left     for me.  I understand that Lady DeWinter is going to take the part.     She'll do anything for $100 bucks. LM: Let's get on to wrestling.   Tonight the IIWF stormed this little suburb of Oakland, and we took no prisoners.  Some 900 fans were jam packed in here to see the action.  Including that incredible bout between Ned Norton and Scott "The Whine" Bloom. BL: This place smells like sweaty jockstraps. LM: As well it should.  It is home to the pre-eminent independant wrestling promotion in the Bay area, called All-Pro Wrestling. BL: Jobbers in sweaty jockstraps. LM: It is also the boyhood home of IIWF wrestling machine:  Creed. BL: A jobber in a sweaty... LM: Creed, however, was not in attendance tonight.  He won't return to the East Bay without a Championship Belt to show his mother. BL: Great, another wrestler with an Oedipus complex.  I thought that list ended with Steve Roberts and Simon Lebec. LM: This is just the kind of place that was made for wrestling... BL: ...and Billy Shakespeare and Ned Norton... LM: Are you done? BL: ...and Derek Mota and Marty Warnett. LM: In an arena like this the fans can get right up close to the ring,      experience the wrestlers first hand, interact, shake hands, get     the feeling of what it is like to stand next to an IIWF titan. BL: Been there... done that. LM: So I've heard.  Ouch! BL: While Larry recovers, I'll summarize his little diatribe.  We had 900 drooling inbreds up close and intimate with the IIWF. LM: It's a great atmosphere.  It provides a unique opportunity for fans who would never otherwise experience the thrill of the IIWF. BL: It smells like sweaty jockstraps. LM: Lets get to the evening's entertainment. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Serge Annis vs. Casey C ------------------------------------------------------------------------ It took some time for Annis to take any interest in this newcomer, spending most of his time shouting at the fans.  At one point he left the ring to converse with a lighter toting, Raider-clad member of the audience. Finally he was convinced to start the match and dispatched of the IIWF newcomer in short measure.  Using mostly an arsenal of brawling tactics, young Casey C was already immobile by the time Annis dragged him to his feet and administered the choke-slam.  Annis left to applause, Casey C left with the medical staff. RESULT: Annis by pinfall >> POINT OF VIEW:  LARRY MORTON << LM: Casey C is a young hopeful, but he isn't ready to compete on an     even field with a man such as Serge Annis. >> COUNTER POINT OF VIEW:  BECKY LARUE << BL: Annis kicks butt. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Cold Spell vs. Barnacle Brothers ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Cold Spell was a little off their game tonight.  And while they had no troubles dispatching their two sailor opponants, their timing seemed a rough, mostly due to Icehawk ever looking over his shoulder for some anticipated interference. Shortly after pinfall, while the two celebrated, Violence Unlimited rushed the ring.  The two fought toe-to-toe until Nightwing, Requiem and Highwayman joined the fray.  Icehawk immediatly retreated, setting to defend himself from the newcomers, but Fitzgerald seemed not the least bothered.  He shouldn't have been, as the members of Genesis immediatly drove Violence Unlimited from the ring area.  Afterwards, Requiem extended a hand to Fitzgerald, then raised his arm in victory. Fitz had a short, slightly heated discussion in with his partner, during which there was much pointing to the Genesis members.  Eventually, Icehawk resigned himself to this new friendship and the tag team left with the ring with Genesis. RESULT: Cold Spell by pinfall >> POINT OF VIEW:  LARRY MORTON << LM: Looks like Genesis has picked up Cold Spell as their tag team. It is well known that Fitzgerald has grown weary of interference in his matches, and appears to have picked up some allies.  Where Icehawk     stands on the subject remains to be seen.  >> COUNTER POINT OF VIEW:  BECKY LARUE << BL: I don't know what is stupider.  Teaming with Genesis or doing it without telling your tag partner.  Cold Spell is finished, over, dead in the water.  The proverbial sinking to the bottom of Lake Superior. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Last Resort vs. Rotundos ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Another bout that didn't last long.  Last Resort showed their abilities with fast tags and keeping their opponant locked in an unfriendly corner. The Rotundo was never able to make the tag and eventually submitted to El Diablo and the Avenger when he was unable to stand up. RESULT: Last Resort by forfeit >> POINT OF VIEW:  LARRY MORTON << LM: While this was in no way a test of their skills, in the ever dwindling tag ranks, Last Resort has every reason to believe that they could win the belts. >> COUNTER POINT OF VIEW:  BECKY LARUE << BL: It pains me to agree with you Larry... so I won't. These guys can't wrestle and only the Rotundos' poor physical condition kept the Mexican fly-boys from leaving in disgrace. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Deathbringer vs. Jumpin' Jack ------------------------------------------------------------------------ BL: This match was to see which of these two was the bigger stiff. LM: Contrary.  It produced some very interesting results.  Of special note is the footage we've included. Deathbringer made his usual blackout entrance, electrifying the crowd. Jack attempted some levity by squirting 'Bringer with his lapel flower. Deathbringer wasted no time in dismantling the clown.  In almost deliberate fashion, he used each of his signature moves only once: gorilla Press, flying clothesline, chokeslam; before carrying his opponent up the ring ropes and administering the "Burial" piledriver.  He covered for the two count, but at the last moment pulled Jack's shoulders off the mat. [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Deathbringer takes a microphone, much to the annoyance of the referee, who demands that Deathbringer cover Jumpin' Jack and end the match.] DB: Listen to me, mortals... [Heel pop] And you better listen, too,     Requiem... [Mixed Pop. Deathbringer looks over to the decimated Jumpin' Jack]     Unnecessary roughness... Is this the way you try to defend your     honor, Requiem? Honor, a word of which I suppose you do not even     know the meaning... But however, unnecessary roughness should never     be used to win... it is weak... [Deathbringer takes a few steps through the ring and continues] DB: You say you are sorry about the things that happened at our Master     Of Darkness matchup, and you say that you are happy that no     permanent damage was done... Well, you are wrong, Requiem, there has     been quite some damage... Not to me, but to your acceptance amongst     all those fans out there. [Deathbringer points out to the capacity crowd with his right hand. No pop, just hushed silence.]     Now you saw that your actions were not supported by those fans...     and you try to make it look like an accident, hoping that the crowd     will once again believe in your words... Well, as I can only hope,     you are wrong again... [Deathbringer walks towards the other side of the ring.]     People, you once said that I let you down... You said that I let you     down by teaming up with Cadaver... But now compare those events to     what happened at Birthday Bash, and... _please_... tell me again     that I betrayed you... So, did I let you down? [No response, just hushed silence. Deathbringer walks across the ring again.]     Did I _really_ let you down? [Again, no response by the crowd] Well,     no answer might be the best answer... Things change, people     change... even creatures change... And as the time comes, I know     that you will make the right decision, as you decide whose side you     are on... On the side of a man whose character changes from one     second to the other... Or on the side of a creature that just stands     in for its beliefs... [Deathbringer walks over to Jumpin' Jack, who still doesn't move. He then turns over to the referee:] DB: Mister Referee... I... QUIT! [Shocked pop as the referee, bemused, signals for the bell. The announcement that Jumpin' Jack has won the match on a submission booms out over the PA as Deathbringer bends over his fallen opponent and tends to him, helping him to his feet before leaving the ring and walking up the aisle, to a confused reaction from the nine hundred fans on hand.] RESULT:  Submission victory for Jumpin' Jack >> POINT OF VIEW: LARRY MORTON << LM: It seems like Deathbringer wants a piece of Requiem again, and he doesn't care about victories anymore.  Another suprise win by one of the IIWF's Jobber Justice Squad. >> COUNTER POINT OF VIEW:  BECKY LARUE << LM: 'Bringer is a fool, you never give away a sure win.  I doubt Requiem is impressed... I know I'm not.  I bet the dead man has a crush on Gabrielle.  For the moment he is just whining.  Maybe he should team up with Scott Bloom. LM: Speaking of whom, we'll have footage of the amazing match he had with Ned Norton later in the evening. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Billy Shakespeare vs. El Super Gecko ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Shakespeare entered to diminishing support.  The match itself was high flying as expected, with both atheletes going for high rish maneuvers. Shakespeare turned the tables but unexpectedly using the figure-four sleeper hold that he adopted as Spur. RESULT:  Shakespeare by submission >> POINT OF VIEW:  LARRY MORTON << LM: Shakespeare's reputation has hurt him.  Ever since his unfortunate injury, he has had a lack of quality opponents.  I don't know if they're scared or just afraid of losing to him.  El Gecko matches up well against him, but just didn't have the ring saavy. >> COUNTER POINT OF VIEW:  BECKY LARUE << BL: The front office just keeps hyping this guy and I don't know why.  They schedule him against lesser opponants so he can stay in the belt rankings.  HEY! OWENS! NO-ONE wants to see this Shakespeare anymore.  And those ice cream bars taste lousy. LM: Are you finished? BL: Are you a virgin? LM: Yes... I mean... no.  I mean you're finished, and I'm a... let's go to the rest of the evening's action. BL: Only evening's action YOU'RE gonna see. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ike Sampson vs. Scott Rogers ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Using his size advantage, Sampson kept this bout paced slow and stiff, contantly challenging the smaller man to meet him in tests of strength, then bullying him  back to the corner.  On a number of occasions Sampson was warned against his slow breaks, but the match was wrestled cleanly. Rogers too receved warning for his late breaks in the corner, and later the ref threatened a forfeit for a thumb jab to Sampson's eye.  Rogers took a moment to apologize to Sampson, who delivered a hard slap in return. The bloodthirsty fans cheered both acts of violence.  Eventually Sampson began to live up to his name, wearing down Rogers. It was at this time that Requiem and Highwayman came ringside.  Neither directly participated in the match, but they did shout encouragement to Rogers and asked if he needed their help to get the victory.  Annoyed, Rogers pleaded to the ref to have them removed from ringside.  With the ref turned to instruct the members of Genesis to leave, Sampson attempted a splash on Rogers as he slumped in the corner.  The result was Sampson crotching himself on Rogers' upraised knee.  Rogers wasted no time in covering the doubled-over Sampson. Requiem and Highwayman, ignoring the ref, entered the ring, putting the boot to the still prone Sampson. Rogers demanded they leave Ike alone, but did little else to distract them.  Finally, they demanded the mic, and before the capacity crowd, offered Scott Rogers a place in Genesis. Rogers too the mic and in a word answered "No".  Before he could drop the mic, he was double teamed. Despite help given by Ike Sampson, Genesis drove the two from the ring. RESULT:  Rogers by pinfall >> POINT OF VIEW:  LARRY MORTON << LM: I don't think that the raised knee by Rogers was in any way an accident.  I think that Mr. Rogers tactics should be investigated and perhaps disciplinary measures invoked. >> COUNTER POINT OF VIEW:  BECKY LARUE << LM: Hey, accidents can happen.  Don't fool yourself, Larry. Rogers is as goody-goody as they come. LM: Perhaps.  Our next match of the evening saw one of the so called "New Generation" facing one of the legends of the old. BL: Duncan McBabble! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Duncan Macbeth vs. Tiger Claw ------------------------------------------------------------------------ MacBeth is the bigger man and wasted no time in taking the fight to Tiger Claw.  Bursting from backstage, and before the bell, he dropped Claw with a cheapshot and immediatly set to choking on the martial artists with his kilt.  He followed up with an assault on Tiger Claw's legs.  This set the stage for the rest of the evening.  Every time Duncan would get the upper hand, he would make a play for the the leg, working on one knee than another:  Shinbreakers, leglocks and even resorting to smashing Claw's leg around the ringpost.  Eventually this tactic led to Tiger Claw having a weakened base, and his deadly kickboxing arsenal and vaunted speed quickly became less effective. His opponant diabled, MacBeth switched to a more defensive posture, forcing Tiger Claw to come after him. Which he did.  Macbeth was not prepared for Claw's resiliance to pain nor for his hand speed.  Looking to throw his opponant off, Macbeth started a chant of "New Generation" in the arena which only served to infuriate the Tiger Claw more.  Claw trapped Duncan in the corner starting and elbow fury.  The referee came too close to the action, and Tiger Claw sent the official spinning.  "Dangerous" Danny Dynamite quickly rushed ringside, delivering an unseen double-axe handle shot to Macbeth which dropped the Scotsman to the canvas.  Grandly, Dynamite invited Claw to cover, but Claw refused shouting at Dynamite to leave and turning his back away from his downed opponant.  This was a mistake as Duncan recovered, wrapped Tiger Claw in a small package, and quickly got the three count from the still woozy ref. After the pin, a frustrated Tiger Claw exploded on Duncan MacBeth, this time accepting the help of Danny Dynamite.  Soon the Scotsman was pummelled into the canvas.  Unexpectedly, Derek Mota ran ringside, suprising both Claw and Dynamite and driving the two from the ring. RESULT:  Macbeth by pinfall >> POINT OF VIEW:  LARRY MORTON << LM: This was a much needed victory for Macbeth.  After a spell of losing to belt contenders, he saw his ranking slipping away. Defeating three-time IC champ Tiger Claw has got to be a feather in his cap.  The arrival of Derek Mota suggests that some sort of team-up might be on the horizon. >> COUNTER POINT OF VIEW:  BECKY LARUE << BL: Larry you ignorant... that joke doesn't work so well with you, does it?  Macbeth better be careful with that "New Gen" stuff.  A lot of wrestlers don't like it, and it is obvious that Tiger Claw is one     of them.  Sure, it pissed him off, but it almost got Duncan McBoring     killed too. LM: Well, it's true Becky, there is a noticable line between the old and     new wrestlers in this federation. BL: Who are you, Steve Summers?  No, your acne isn't as bad. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dark Disciples vs. Rising Sun Revolution ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Rising Sun Revolution wrestled like a shell of their former championship selves, losing the advantage at every turn against the demonic Dark Disciples.  The match was well in hand until Pain Inc. made their way ringside, threatening the Disciples, at one point putting Ryudo's foot on the rope to end a pinning attempt.  While the Disciples threatened to leave the ring, strangely they never did.  Pain Inc, however, entered the ring.  Hiroshi attempted to arm whip Kane into the corner, but was reversed.  Not expecting the reversal, Morningstar of Pain Inc, delivered the Asian spike to the unexpecting Rising Sun Revolutionary.  The nerve hold dropped him to the mat and Kane covered while Wulf knocked Morningstar and Hellraiser from the ring apron. RESULT: Pinfall victory for Disciples >> POINT OF VIEW:  LARRY MORTON << LM: In this battle of two former championship teams, it seems that the Disciples are still in their championship form, but sadly, Rising Sun is not.  It appears that the never ending feud between the Dark     ones and Pain Inc. isn't over. >> COUNTER POINT OF VIEW:  BECKY LARUE << BL: Rising Sun stinks.  ------------------------------------------------------------------------ IIWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Prophets of Rage [c] vs.  High Plains Drifters ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Mismatches, mismatches, mismatches.   The Prophets used every possible tactic, most of them illigal, to match the monsterous Derek Rage up against the much smaller Pale Rider.  Despite the Riders efforts to keep Easy Rider in the ring, he would be forced to leave after abusive double teaming, eye gouges and a chair shot outside the ring.   No strangers to brawling, the Drifters attempted to keep most of this match outside, where they could fight their brand of battle.  An attempt to blast Shadoe Rage with a bottle of Kessler's failed and the bottled sailed in to the stands, knocking a fan unconscious.  Both teams spent a lot of time thrown against the crowed barriers, leaving the metel wisted by nights end.  The crowd was in a frenzy, and both teams showed blood, though it was impossible to tell whose. Finally, near the end, the Prohets get Derek back in the ring with Pale Rider, and rage was able to exploit his 110-pound advantage with a fall away vertical suplex from the second rope.  Easy tried to make the ring, but Shadoe intercepted him on the outside with the ring bell, which dropped him. Despite never making the tag, Shadoe eventually came off the top rope with the destructive "Headwrecker" on an excaping Pale Rider for the ensuing pin. RESULT: Prophets of Rage by pinfall to remain champions. >> POINT OF VIEW:  LARRY MORTON << LM: Despicable.  That wasn't wrestling, that was brawling.  The Prophets should be stripped of their titles and a tourney begun.  If they aren't going to defend the belts by legal means they they shouldn't be allowed to defend them. >> COUNTER POINT OF VIEW:  BECKY LARUE << BL: Are you geting older by the second?  Weren't you the one defending the "new generation"?  It's wrestling, geez.  Why don't you go back to live broadcasts of the Iditerod. LM: I was there for every second of the action.  Every tretcherous curve, every anguished bark... BL: ...every mutt peeing on your leg. LM: That only happened once.  I wish I'd never told you. BL: You know how it is, Larry.  Get one Surge Cola in your bloodstream and you lose control. LM: I'm a journalist.  I need the rush!  Our last bout of the evening,     really wasn't.  I'll explain.... BL: The only "rush" you got from that Surge was when you wet the bed. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Dangerous" Danny Dynamite vs. Chris Herforth ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Before triple "D" could even get to the ring, it was announced that Chris Herforth wopuld not be appearing tonight.  There was some disappointment, and a last minute replacement attempt was made, but Ned Borton had already wrestled that amazing match against Scott Bloom.  Danny Dynamite stayed a few moments posing for the crowd. >> POINT OF VIEW:  LARRY MORTON << LM: Herforth, it appears, has been called back to Germany unexpectedly.  I'm not sure whether this has anything to do with his father's circus, but it is believed that he will not be coming back to the IIWF for some time, if at all.  A shame really, he was an interesting athlete, and this match could have been a good one. >> COUNTER POINT OF VIEW:  BECKY LARUE << BL: Danny Dynamite has nice looking deltoids. LM: I wouldn't know anything about that. BL: That's because you haven't seen a nice deltoid in your life. LM: Well Becky, that's our show for this evening.  As always, a pleasure     working with you. BL: Yeah, whatever. LM: Rememeber, tune into me again on Friday for more in-depth insight into the world of the IIWF. BL: From who?  certainly not you.  You aren't refering to Jackson Dim-witt, are you? LM: Say goodnight, Becky. BL: Goodnight Becky. [Pull out to a wide-angle shot of the empty gymnasium. In the far corner, a janitor sweeps away empty popcorn cartons and drinks cans. The light cast by the lighting rig above the ring fades as Larry shuffles his papers. Fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Jim Jividen | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | brokeback@webtv.net | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+