[Immediately following the conclusion to "IIWF Saturday Night" - the bulk of IIWF personnel, Administration, on-air talent, officials and some wrestlers load the IIWF Express caravan to begin the trip to the desert for the next stop on the Coronation Clash Crusade Tour.  Tim Dross, his IIWF gym bag slung over his shoulder, moves to his assigned bus, giving a tired wave to the fans who have remained outside the arena.  With a rush, a rented 1992 Mustang convertible roars into the shot; it is driven by "Soundbite" Steve Roberts.] SR: Dross... Dross! No bus ride for the hardest working man in the IIWF -- and you can come along too.  That Nils is out of his pleurosy addled mind, Dross.  I can see the headlines now: "Legendary Wrestling Star Steve Soundbite Roberts Killed In Fiery Bus Accident -- 70 others also dead." Who needs that, Dross? Hop on in, baby dolls. TD: Steve Roberts, I sort of enjoy the long bus trips -- it gives me a chance to collect my thoughts, organize myself for the next card.  I have a lot of preparation to do. SR: Dross, you're killin' me, buddy.  We'll get to the hotel early, you can get a nice big room, take out your computer and get plenty of time to download those pictures of Phoebe Cates.  Come on, we can hit half a dozen Waffle Houses. [Dross looks at the loading buses, the sleepy forms of IIWF personnel crowding into the tightly packed compartments... and then at the broadly smiling Soundbite -- who pulls a Sourdough and Gallo Salame sandwich out of a bag... and places it on the passenger's seat. Dross tosses his bag into the back of the 'Stang and hops into the car.  Roberts grins, puts on a pair of sunglasses, pops in a Golden Earring CD... and as he peels out of the parking lot, says...] SR: Let's ride. [..."Radar Love", the drivingest song of all time, kicks in over a montage of the next two days... Roberts and Dross tooling down the California coast... picking up speeding ticket after speeding ticket... Roberts continually wadding each up and tossing them into the back seat.  Dross confusedly fumbling through a fold out roadmap. Roberts and Dross pulling off into Los Angeles... Roberts uncharacteristically stopping to speak to stranded motorists... but then very characteristically speeding away after asking them, "Who's your favorite Spice Girl... Wayne or Watson?" Dross confusedly fumbling through a fold out roadmap. Roberts and Dross in the Hollywood Hills... Roberts pointing up to the famous "Hollywood" sign, its letters now spelling out the words, "Shoot, Soundbite!  Shoot!" Dross confusedly fumbling through a fold out roadmap as the boys drive through Baja, California and across the border, waved through with a thumbs-up by a border patrol guard, and into Mexico. As they see the roadside sign which says, "Welcome to Tijuana - Drink Up!", Dross reaches into the back to remove match notes from his gym bag -- and finds the person of one stowaway Steve Summer, who sheepishly grins as Roberts and Dross each begin to chew him out... The three man crew now exits the car, hitting the Tijuana town with full commentator gusto.  Dross has found the Zona Rio Restaurante, and is diving into a huge plate of sonoran beef... Summer has engaged some of the more colorful local women in a rousing game of hacky sack... Roberts is at the Avenida Revolucion, haggling over the price of a box of cigars with a local shopkeeper, who, oddly enough, refuses to take a big foam Cheshire trapeze as payment. The drum solo from "Radar Love" continues... on and on... the three men are standing together in a small desert shack outside of the Hippodroma, where a few dozen locals are wagering heavily on a cockfight. Roberts is screaming for a particular bird, his hands stuffed with 20 dollar bills, Roberts yelling at the top of his lungs for a bird he calls Super Scott... yelling as his bird is pecked to death by a smaller, more accurate foe... The local cheer raucously, and Roberts' hands are suddenly empty... and still more men surround our trio... men descending in loud exclamations for money... the shouting grows increasingly louder and the men grow more and more close as the music fades and the shot goes to black.] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "INSIDE THE IIWF" with Tim Dross Tuesday 3 June 1997 ----------------------------------------------- [Fade in on Dross, Roberts and Summer, their faces dirtied and their clothes tattered.  None of them has even the hint of a smile as the shot pulls back to reveal that the three men stand behind bars... in a prison cell... in a Mexican jail.] TD: Hello fans, and welcome to Inside the IIWF. This is your weekly look at all the news... views... reviews and previews... highlights and sidelights... cheers and -- [Summer steps in front of Dross.] SS: Help!  Help!  For the love of God -- somebody help me! [...the weary Dross doesn't miss a beat, slowly continuing...] TD: ...jeers.  A look back at the week that was and up ahead at what will be here in the finest wrestling federation in the world today... the _mighty_ IIWF. [Dross takes a deep breath, slowly shaking his head at his decrepit surroundings, and continues.] Well, folks.  If you had told me seven days ago that I would do almost anything to do this week's show from Bondage A Go-Go, I most likely would have punched you in the mouth. [Dross takes a look over at a urine stained corner of the small cell, at the seated Roberts, who, still wearing his sunglasses, is slowly playing a harmonica.] However, as you've now seen from our introduction, we are here.  In Tijuana, Mexico -- in prison.  We've put in numerous calls to the IIWF offices in Portland, but apparently Steve Owens is on "assignment" for the day.  So, here we are. [Roberts hits a particularly dissonant note, and the shot now pans to Summer, who is slowly rocking back and forth on the lower half of a bunkbed, sitting unfortunately close to an enormous Mexican man wearing a Lionel Richie "Dancing on the Ceiling" t-shirt.  The man hasn't spoken, save to give his name as "The Smooth."] Well, you know what they say, "The show must go on." And we are less than a month away from the beginning of the Coronation Clash tournament which will crown the number one contender to the Heavyweight Championship -- so, let's kick it off with headlines. ************************************************************************ ----------------------------- HEADLINES ------------------------------ ************************************************************************ TD: The top story this week, other than IIWF announcers being beaten up at a cockfight and thrown in a Mexican jail, is that the leader of the IIWF... remains Casey "Blackheart" James. Many had speculated that were any man able to overcome the breadth of the Syndicate, and capture the IIWF Heavyweight Championship without help -- it would be Brody Thunder.   But it was not to be.  The gang that has so dominated IIWF past and present held on to see another day this past Saturday Night, when they attacked Brody Thunder prior to the match... and then during the match, intentionally causing a disqualification loss for the Blackheart -- who, to the surprise of many insiders, remains World Champion. For how long?  That's the question, folks.  We all know that Champions are only crowned to be beaten, and rumors are running rampant as to when -- or even if -- Brody Thunder will get another shot at IIWF gold. Hopefully, the "Lone Wolf" himself will be able to shed some light on the subject as he is set to take on the Syndicate's own Tiger Claw this Saturday Night. And what a Saturday Night it will be, live from Olympic Stadium in Juarez, Mexico, an open air, soccer-style stadium that will be rocking as IIWF Saturday Night will go late-night, kicking off at the stroke of midnight, local time.  As was last week with Creed returning to San Francisco, this Saturday Night will have its share of homecomings.  The aforementioned Thunder is sure to get a raucous reception from the locals, as Juarez is a mere couple hours drive southeast of Thunder's home in Tombstone.  Even closer that that is El Paso, Texas -- called the "sister city" of Juarez -- and El Paso is, of course, the home of third-generation superstar Ronnie Paris.  Paris, who was narrowly defeated by Dirt Dog Unique Allah for the Cruiserweight Championship on Saturday Night, is set to hook up with a man who seems to have his nose in everyone's business these days, the hyper-active Derek Mota.  So, we'd expect an enormous turnout for young Paris -- which might only be equalled by the one for El Diablo of the Last Resort, the team set to take on the awesome force of the Dark Disciples.  The IIWF's sole luchador -- sorry Gecko -- is sure to get a big reception from his countrymen, when the IIWF makes its way into Juarez for a white-hot "Midnight in Mexico" Saturday Night. It's sure to be a great one this week!  Don't miss a moment of action! I sure hope I won't. [Dross shakes his head as the camera pans the cell. Roberts is still playing his harmonica, the tune sounding like Bruce McCullough's "These Are The Daves I Know"... but that wouldn't make even a little bit of sense.  Summer has inched as far away from "The Smooth" on his soiled mattress as he possibly can -- but the massive girth of the big Mexican man takes up nearly the entire spread.  Dross pokes his head through the bars... asking if anyone is around... if there is any way he can make a phone call... but the "station" appears to be deserted, save for the endless, distant sound of a man yelling "Goooooaaaallllllll!"] ************************************************************************ ------------------------ SUPERSTAR OF THE WEEK ----------------------- ************************************************************************ TD: So many great performances this week.  There's no way you can really overlook any of them.  Dirt Dog Unique Allah really cemented the place of the Age of the Rage within the IIWF as he joined his belt holding bretheren, The Prophets of Rage, by defeating Ronnie Paris and becoming the Cruiserweight Champion of the World.  Also, we had big tag victories for both Violence Unlimited and the W & W Express -- who became Kings of Hollywood with their victory over the Zodiac Connection.  But the award for the IIWF Superstar of the Week goes to a man who may well be the finest wrestler, not just in the IIWF, but in the entire world -- Lord Byron. Lord Byron continued his amazing run here in the IIWF, with a pinfall victory over the always tough Tony Starks to retain the Intercontinental Championship.  Byron showed the entire IIWF, as well as a certain red-gloved rookie, that he understands there is more than one way to play this game, blistering Starks with a high impact onslaught before finally putting him away. In recent weeks, Byron has defeated Creed and Tiger Claw in their bids to relieve him of his gold -- and rumors now are cropping up that perhaps the Intercontintal gold is not sufficient for Lord Byron, that he may be interested in becoming the first man in the IIWF to hold both the IC _and_ the Heavyweight Championship belts simultaneously. With Otto Verhoeven backing him every step of the way, it might be time to ask the question: is there a better wrestler, a more dangerous force than Lord Byron? And if so, who might he be? A man who certainly would be up for that title is another IIWF superstar who made his imposing presence felt in San Francisco -- Deathbringer. Virtually silent since his beating at the hands of Genesis at Birthday Bash, the former champion returned with a resounding vengeance on Saturday Night, clearing the entire Syndicate from the ring following their assault of Brody Thunder. My sources say that Deathbringer's shocking appearance had less to do with personal feelings for the "Lone Wolf" than with what seems to be almost a desire to do what is "right" here in the IIWF.  I, for one, applaud this change -- and you know that if the Deathbringer is back in town, that can't be good news for Requiem and the men of Genesis.  [Summer is heard to make another loud yelp as "The Smooth" is apparently whispering something to him.] SS: Genesis!  Come on, Requiem -- I'm your biggest fan... you and me... we're like -- you know.  Whatever.  Help!  Somebody please help me.  Please. Mommy. [Dross turns to the harmonica wielding Roberts, who now seems to be playing Irene Cara's theme from Flashdance, "What A Feelin'."] TD: Well, your Superstar of the Week is Lord Byron, and our congratulations go out to him. And if he and Otto... or really anyone in the entire IIWF family could find their way to Tijuana over the next, say... twenty-four to forty-eight hours... that would be a gosh darn big help.  I'm not sure "The Smooth's" intentions toward young Summer are exactly honorable. Here's the rest of what went down Saturday Night live from the Cow Palace in San Francisco. [Soundbite's harmonica plays over highlights of the Syndicate brawling with Brody Thunder as the results roll.] Brody Thunder def. Casey James (DQ) Lord Byron def. Tony Starks Dirt Dog Unique Allah def. Ronnie Paris Subway Psycho draw Joe Petrow Cold Spell no contest Harlequins Violence Unlimited def. Pain, Inc. Marty Warnett draw Derek Mota W&W Express def. Zodiac Connection Simon Lebec def. El Super Gecko ************************************************************************ ------------------- SUMMERTIME: with Steve Summer -------------------- ************************************************************************ [Dross turns to face Summer, who looks less frightened now than thoroughly defeated by the entire experience.] TD: Steve, would you like to say anything to the people? [Summer attempts to stand, but "The Smooth" places a meaty hand on his shoulder and Steve stays seated on the mattress.] SS: Okay.  Uh.  How 'bout that Genesis?  Aren't they, uh, something. And, Cold Spell.  You know I'm a big fan of... what was his... the gymnast... Icehawk.  Icehawk.  And Ronnie Paris -- that's my boy.  Did he join Genesis?  No, that's the opposite.  Paris vs. Mota... call your local cable... help me, Mr. Dross. [The Smooth now appears as if he wants to speak... and in a deep voice that seems almost discombobulated from his body, he begins:] TS: When I was a boy, we had no meat -- so we ate fowl.  When there was no fowl, we ate crawdad.  When there was no crawdad, we ate sand. [This comment prompts Roberts to stop his harmonica playing.] SR: You ate what? TS: Sand. SR: You ate sand? [The Smooth simply nods, and begins whispering to himself again.] TD: Okay then.  Let's move on. ************************************************************************ ------------------- FIRST LOOK: Wednesday War Room ------------------- ************************************************************************ TD: A big card awaits all of us... well... all of you from the Four Corners National Monument this Wednesday.  Here is your _First Look_ at all the action: Otto Verhoeven vs. Ned Norton Mad Dog Watkins vs. Casey C. Highwayman vs. Jumpin' Jack Derek Mota vs. El Super Gecko Duncan Macbeth vs. Barnacle Brother Bluto Three men have double duty in the desert this week -- Watkins will face one of the IIWF'S young guns when he goes up against Ike Sampson on Saturday Night.  Derek Mota will meet Ronnie Paris in an intriguing cruiserweight matchup... and perhaps the most difficult challenge of all will belong to Duncan Macbeth, who will be the opponent for the red-gloved rookie Creed, making his return to the squared circle after nearly a month's absence.  Add in the Highwayman and Otto Verhoeven, and you have representatives for two very powerful stables, Genesis and the Alliance, on tap. [Dross looks over at Roberts, now seemingly playing "I Can't Smile Without You" by Barry Manilow in an extraordinarily sorrowful fashion.] TD: Steve, are you going to participate at all? SR: Wasn't so much planning on it, Dross.  I'm enjoying watching The Smooth put the moves on Summer.  Young love, it's a beautiful thing. [Summer lets out another moan... as The Smooth now starts to sway back and forth.] TD: Can you humor me, and help out with _First Look_ anyway? I'm pretty much running on empty here.  And you do bear a certain degree of responsibility for our predicament. SR: Damn bird.  Shoulda gone with the one with the wooden leg. TD: Which bird was that, Steve Roberts? SR: You know, Dross.  The bird with the one good leg and the red glove who kept whining, "You want some chicken.  Come get some chicken."  He wasn't much of a fighter, but I figure his buddies would have saved him. TD: Let's get to the rest of the card. -------------------------- Tony Starks vs. Mr. Damage -------------------------- TD: A nice matchup between two IIWF veterans.  Starks was narrowly defeated in his bid to capture the Intercontinental Championship and will certainly be looking to take out some of his frustration on Damage. While the Australian recently saw his long unbeaten streak come to an end at the hands of Chris Quigley -- and with that "mysterious new manager" of his, he may find a way to do that. SR: Jobbers. -------------------------- Nightwing vs. Scott Rogers -------------------------- TD: Definitely some bad blood between these two men, as Nightwing's alliance with Genesis has caused this former fan favorite to become something of an outcast among men who would have normally called him friend.  Rogers will have his own hometown crowd for this one -- as the young superstar calls Utah his home -- and will certainly have some fans on hand.  However, on hand for Nightwing may well be Genesis and Highwayman... and with their recent attacks on Ike Sampson, Marty Warnett, the Harlequins, Violence Unlimited, and Rogers himself, this Genesis group is certainly a force to be reckoned with.  SR: People have already made the Mike Rutherford joke, right?  TD: I believe so, Steve. SR: How 'bout Tony Banks?  Have people made a Tony Banks reference?  TD: Maybe within the privacy of their own homes. SR: Hey Summer, who was better, Gabriel or Collins? [Summer has almost nodded off, his head resting on the shoulder of The Smooth as would a baby's to a mother gorilla.  The sound of his name snaps him to life... and then the sight of The Smooth so close to him, scares him nearly to death.] SS: Yikes! Uhm uh... Gabriel solo... Collins with Genesis.  SR: Gotta go with the kid, Dross. TD: Good grief. ------------------------------ Takezo Musashi vs. Luke Steele ------------------------------ TD: Well, here's a man who has bought himself a whole heap of trouble with his actions last week.  The Enigma not only turned his back on his many fans, turned his back on his hard won honor... but when he turned that microphone on Joe Petrow, nearly bludgeoning the "Sychotic" one, he made an enemy out of a very dangerous and unpredictible man.  I don't know what's going through his mind -- or what young Luke Steele may face when he meets this "new" Enigma this Wednesday night. SR: "I'll need time to heal" Luke Steele. -------------------------------- High Plains Drifters vs. Hangmen -------------------------------- TD: What better place than the Southwest for this matchup?  A feud running nearly as long as the IIWF itself -- and it will all be over after Wednesday Night.  Why?  Because acting President Steve Owens has ruled this a "this town ain't big enough for the both of us" matchup. That means that whomever loses on Wednesday Night at the Four Corners National Monument... is immediately out of the IIWF!  These two teams are certain to fight with all they have in this one. SR: I think we could use a "this town ain't big enough for any of us" matchup with about half a dozen of these go nowhere tag teams.  And what about Cheshire -- what the hell happened to him on Wednesday? TD: Well, Chris Herforth has officially retired from the IIWF, going back to Germany on family business.  He was a daredevil high-flyer who never could regain his early form after the usurping of his name "Cheshire".  The IIWF will miss him. SR: Yeah, mothers and sons weeping openly toghether... "Clown boy is gone... I loved him so." ------------------------------------------------------- MAIN EVENT: Four Corners Four Corners Match: Harlequins, Cold Spell, W&W Express, Violence Unlimited ------------------------------------------------------- TD: Here's a match that should absolutely bring the house down... if it weren't being held outdoors.  Well, that would really be something then, wouldn't it?  Folks, there are some bad, bad feelings which will all be exposed this Wednesday when these four teams meet, their prize being a shot at the tag team championships. Cold Spell has been the talk of the tag world -- these "nice guys" have joined the ranks of other formerly "nice guys", Genesis.  And what a difference it has already made -- Fitzgerald and Icehawk have been on the assault against the two teams which had previously done them harm, Violence Unlimited and the Harlequins.  If revenge is a dish best served cold, the air will be downright frigid for this one, when those three teams and the new "Kings of Hollywood" will all hook up, the winners to meet the Prophets of Rage on June 14. SR: Hey, Dross, I hear Fitzgerald is upset with you for leaving him out of your little NLWP report on the Hotline.  The guy is right in the Championship mix over there -- he damn well might be champion.  Not that I give a crap. TD: Well, we certainly congratulate all of the IIWF superstars who achieve success anywhere, but in all honesty, we've found that achievements in the "minor leagues" are of a secondary concern to these great fans of the IIWF. SR: Tell us what you really feel, Dross. TD: I feel I should have gotten on the bus with Larry Morton. Check all the action coming your way tomorrow night, folks.  Larry Morton and Becky LaRue will bring you all the action from the Four Corners National Monument on Wednesday War Room.  It's sure to be tremendous! ************************************************************************ ---------------------- Shoot, Soundbite! SHOOT! ---------------------- ************************************************************************ [Roberts now makes his way to his feet while he plays a passable version of "Running with the Devil" on his harmonica.] TD: I assume you have a few remarks. SR: You know what, Dross.  I have been beaten up.  My chicken died.  I lost all of my money and I'm stuck in a prison cell with Tim Dross about to watch Steve Summer do the love thing with a 500 pound Mexican named The Smooth. But, you know what?  I'd still rather be me than be Brody Thunder. That guy is in a world of trouble.  You see what they did to you last week, Thunder?  You see how Brian Lau is always ready for you, Thunder? Now, go ahead and show up in Juarez with all your little fans chanting your name -- and when the night is over, it'll end exactly the way it does every night of your life -- with you flat on your back consumed with the thought that you'll never be as good as Casey James.  And I cleaned that up just for you, Dross. TD: I appreciate your thinking of me at this juncture, Steve.  What would I ever do without you? SR: You'd probably be as lost as Quigley.  Hey, Chrissy, you enjoying being at the bottom of the card?  You like these low-level feuds with Warnett and LeBec?  You like not being anywhere near a title?  Maybe you'd like some more heat from the machine, Quigley?  You'd like it if maybe the Soundbite talked about how you spend all your time wearing out the pause button during Richard Simmons tapes. But the hell with you Quigley.  You do it by yourself.  Just like everything else.  I'm movin' on.  Oh, and I really enjoyed your little music video last week -- saw that you picked "No Doubt" for the background music to your posing.  Good choice. They're a flash in the pan too. TD: I believed we weren't going to speak about Chris Quigley anymore, Steve. SR: We aren't.  No one is.  He's over.  Next! TD: Ike Sampson had some words for you last week. SR: Oh yeah, I love this guy.  All I see wherever I look is Creed and Watkins... Creed and Watkins.  These guys used to hate each other and now Creed's following him all over town, always asking him questions, always looking for information.  And now I see Sampson, I see this punk kid Sampson doing the same thing.  Always with Watkins, both these guys with Watkins.  Can I help it if all the black guys in the IIWF travel together?  Did I say, "Hey, black guys, you're on that team?  Put on the red jerseys?" Hell, no.  The Soundbite ain't no racist.  Not that I care... now you want to hear something racist... hey, Smooth -- hey, Smooth -- what does "Arriba" mean in English?  Hurry up - the border patrol is coming. [The Smooth stops his attention to Summer, focuses his full gaze on Roberts and in broken English slowly says...]       TS: Shoot, Soundbite! Shoot! TD: Good grief. SR: See, even the Mexicans like me.  It'll be fine, Dross. I'm gonna own this country, not that I'd want it, by the end of the week.  If we ever get out prison, of course. TD: Genesis continues to grow -- they have strenghtened and have seemed to do nothing but come out on top during all of their altercations.  Now do you have any thoughts on Genesis? SR: Who? [Roberts resumes playing "Running With the Devil" as returns to his seated position in the corner of the cell.] TD:  Steve "Soundbite" Roberts, ladies and gentlemen. ************************************************************************ --------------------- FIRST LOOK: Saturday Night --------------------- ************************************************************************ TD: This Saturday Night will certainly be something special when we... well, when someone comes live from Olympic Stadium in Juarez, Mexico.  And what a card we have for our neighbors to the south in this very special "Midnight from Mexico" stop in our Coronation Clash Crusade Tour.  Here is your _First Look_ at all the action. Dark Disciples vs. The Last Resort Ronnie Paris vs. Derek Mota Mad Dog Watkins vs. Ike Sampson Requiem vs. Subway Psycho Deathbringer vs. Serge Annis Prophets of Rage vs. Team Sychosys Duncan Macbeth vs. Creed Chris Quigley vs. Billy Shakespeare "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder vs. Tiger Claw Tremendous double main event; not only that big matchup betwen Brody Thunder and Tiger Claw, but two veterans who have had storied careers in this sport -- Billy Shakespeare and Chris Quigley -- will mix it up. We also have intriguing matchups between "The People's Champion" Subway Psycho and Requiem... and the veteran Mad Dog Watkins will meet young Ike Sampson.  Don't forget about the homecoming matches: Ronnie Paris will get a tremendous reception when he meets up with Derek Mota, and El Diablo of the Last Resort will join with his partner, the young Masked Avenger, against the monstrous Dark Disciples. Add in the return of Creed, the popular Deathbringer... and a non-title tag match between the Prophets of Rage and the reunited Team Sychosys... poor, poor, Maurice... and you have the makings of a white hot IIWF Saturday Night - "Midnight in Mexico"!  Don't miss a moment of the action.  And if you have a couple of minutes beforehand -- maybe you should consider going to a bail bondsmen.  [Dross looks out between the bars, seeing that no one has yet entered the station.] Or a locksmith. ************************************************************************ ----------------------- IIWF SINGLES RANKINGS ------------------------ ************************************************************************ as at 31/5/97 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Casey James H 41 23 16 2 59% (WC) WC Lord Byron H 25 20 5 0 80% (IC) IC Dirt Dog Unique Allah N 21 12 7 2 62% (16) CW ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Deathbringer H 34 23 8 3 72% (1) 1 Creed N 16 11 4 1 72% (2) 2 "Enigma" Takezo Musashi F 31 22 9 0 71% (4) 3 Subway Psycho F 36 24 9 3 70% (3) 4 Mad Dog Watkins H 16 10 4 2 69% (5) 5 Otto Verhoeven H 34 22 10 2 68% (6) 6 Chris Quigley F 30 19 9 2 67% (7) 7 Highwayman F 12 8 4 0 67% (8) 8 Requiem F 9 5 2 2 67% (9) 9 Billy Shakespeare F 40 26 13 1 66% (10) 10 Brody Thunder H 23 14 8 1 63% (14) 11 "Sychosys" Joe Petrow N 16 9 5 2 63% (11) 12 Nightwing F 13 8 5 0 62% (12) 13 Mr. Damage H 33 20 13 0 61% (13) 14 Marty Warnett F 41 24 16 1 60% (15) 15 Ike Sampson F 5 3 2 0 60% (17) 16 Duncan Macbeth N 5 3 2 0 60% (18) 17 Ronnie Paris F 18 10 8 0 56% (19) 18 Serge Annis N 14 7 6 1 54% (20) 19 Tiger Claw H 49 24 23 2 51% (21) 20 "Real Deal" Luke Steele F 12 6 6 0 50% (22) 21 Derek Mota H 10 4 4 2 50% (23) 22 The Hangman H 17 6 7 4 47% (25) 23 Tony Starks F 7 3 4 0 43% (24) 24 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Scott Rogers F 2 2 0 0 100% (26=) 25= Danny Dynamite H 2 2 0 0 100% (26=) 25= Simon Lebec H 1 1 0 0 100% (-) 27 ------------------------------ suspended ------------------------------- Steve "Fury" Kowalski H 21 15 6 0 71% (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************ ----------------------- IIWF TAG TEAM RANKINGS ----------------------- ************************************************************************ as at 31/5/97 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name of team F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Prophets of Rage H 12 11 1 0 92% (WT) WT ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Last Resort F 5 4 1 0 80% (1) 1 Cold Spell F 11 8 3 0 73% (2) 2 Pain Inc. H 25 14 10 1 58% (3) 3 Rising Sun Revolution F 19 11 8 0 58% (4) 4 Dark Disciples H 18 10 7 1 58% (5) 5 The Harlequins N 12 7 5 0 58% (6) 6 W & W Express H 12 7 5 0 58% (8) 7 High Plains Drifters H 34 19 14 1 56% (7) 8 The Hangmen H 21 10 9 2 52% (9) 9 The Zodiac Connection F 27 13 14 0 48% (10) 10 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Violence Unlimited N 2 2 0 0 100% (11) 11 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************ ------------- COMING FRIDAY: Countdown to Saturday Night ------------- ************************************************************************ TD: Folks, we are almost out of time this week.  Well, the program is.  I think time is pretty much all the three of us have to look forward to. Before we go, let me take a moment to tell all you great fans what the IIWF has in store for that great event known as Coronation Clash. It will all start as a 32-man tournament on June 28th from Gund Arena in Cleveland, Ohio.  Thirty two men battling for the right to call themselves the "number one contender" to the World's Heavyweight Championship. We'll have eight Round 1 matches on the 28th, and then eight more Round one matches when the IIWF goes to New York City on July 5. That will have cut the field in half.  From thirty two to a sweet sixteen.  And those 16 men will meet at the biggest pay-per-view showcase of the summer, Coronation Clash, live on July 12 from the Fleet Center in Boston, Massachusetts.  From thirty two to sixteen... and then on that one night, from sixteen to one.  One man who becomes the number one contender and earns the right to fight for the greatest prize in all of sport: the IIWF Heavyweight Championship. Don't miss a moment of action! So, be sure to tune in tomorrow for Larry Morton and Becky LaRue as they bring you all the action on the "Wednesday War Room" -- then, my tag team colleague Steve "Soundbite" Roberts may or may not bring you another of the IIWF's "Classics".  We will, however, be sure to bring you Larry Morton and Jackson Witt on Friday as they "Countdown to IIWF Saturday Night"... and then live from Olympic Stadium in Juarez, Mexico, "Midnight in Mexico" Saturday Night will explode right off your set.  Don't miss a moment of the action. So, for Steve Roberts, Steve Summer and... and The Smooth... Steve Roberts, we have to do something about young Summer. SR: Not a problem, Dross.  All you had to do is ask.  Hey, Smooth -- you a Commodores guy or a solo Richie guy? [Upon the mention of the man whose face adorns his brutally stained t-shirt, The Smooth looks up at Roberts, releasing his grasp on Summer and saying only three words.] TS: Smooth like "Truly". SR: There you go, boys. Summer, you know the words... Dross, buddy, rap a tin can against the bars or something.  You know, a little percussion. [Roberts returns the harmonica to his mouth and Dross wearily begins to rattle the bars as Summer tentatively begins to sing.] SS: #Girl, tell me on-ly this / that I have your heart... for al-ways...# [A smile begins to creep across the massive fleshy face of The Smooth.] SS: ...#and you, want me by your side / whispering the words / I'll al-ways looove you...# [The Smooth now stands and begins a little dance, the frenetic movements of his lumbering arms causing Dross to quietly chuckle and Summer to, with incredible relief, begin to burst into the next lyric...] SS: #And for-ever / I will be your lo-ver / And I feel if you re-ally care / this love will last for-ever... because I'm...# [All four men now join together, filling the gloomy Mexican prison with the unmistakable beauty of four grown men singing a Lionel Richie ballad...] ALL: #Tru-ly... Truly in love with you girl# SS: Thanks, Mr. Roberts.  You da man! SR: No sweat, kid.  Hey, Smooth.  You're a big ole' boy.  You ever do any wrestling?  Ever heard of the Jobber Justice Squad? [Smooth smiles, pulling a small set of keys out of his pants pocket... and cleanly opens the door to the cell.] SS: All right, Smooth! TD: So long, everybody! [Smooth looks vacant, but happily vacant as the four men continue their song as the shot fades...] ALL: #Tru-ly... head o-ver heels with your love / I nee---eeeed... and with your love, I'm free...# [Fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Jim Jividen | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | brokeback@webtv.net | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+