[Computer graphics of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, D.C.  Slowly, the stone figure of the president rises from his stone seat.  It crawls to the top of the throne and performs a a moonsault.  There is heard the whistle of a falling bomb, and the statue lands with explosion.   From the mushroom cloud of flame spins the IIWF logo:]                #####      ######     ###           ##########              ########## ########## ####       ##  ##########              ########## ########## ####  #   #### ########                #####      #####    #### ##  ##### ####                 ####       ####    #### ### ####  ####                 ####       ####    ############# #########                 ####       ####     ########### #########                 ####       ####     ####  ####   ####              #########  #########   ###   ####   ####              #########  #########   ###    ##    ####               ########   ########   ##      #    ####              =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-=                            W E D N E S D A Y                /////////         +          \\\\\\\\\                            W A R   R O O M              =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=                    * LiVE! * from The Lincoln Memorial                             Washington D.C.      --------------- 18 June 1997 ------------------ [The camera travels swiftly over a nightime Washington, D.C.  It travels up the steps, then through the pillars of the Lincoln Memorial before coming to a halt in front of a temporary broadcast table staffed by Larry Morton and Becky LaRue.] LM: Tonight we had wrestled in the shadow of the great emancipator     himself... BL: The great what? LM: The "Great Emancipator". BL: How do we know that about him?  That's a private subject.  Not that     there is anything wrong with that. It's natural... kids do it all the time.   That bit about growing hair on your palms is a myth.  LM: Um, Becky, emancipation means freedom. BL: And that's what I'm talking about.  Emancipators, come out of the     closet.  You're not alone!  The "Great" Emancipator.  What a     way to be honored. LM: Why is it I never know what you are talking about? BL: Because you're stupid. LM: Today the Coronation Clash Crusade Tour brought us to... BL: Did you say "The Coronation Clash Crusade Tour"? LM: Yes I did.  The Coronation Clash... BL: Give it a rest, Larry. LM: Tonight we saw wrestling in another outdoor venue here at the Lincoln Memorial. As always, there was plenty of excitement. BL: Like when the crack dealers started shooting at each other. LM: Hush, Becky.  Remember kids, just say, "No." BL: Wrong President.  This one's motto is, "Just say I didn't inhale." LM: Don't blame me.  _I_ voted for Ross Perot. BL: Figures.  I, however, voted for Hillary.  'Bout time there was      a president with juevos. LM: I thought you'd be more of a Paula Jones fan. BL: Who says I'm not? LM: Let's recap the action. BL: Paula's been doing that for the last month. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Majestic" Maurice McArthur vs. Scott "the Whine" Bloom ------------------------------------------------------------------------     3M came ringside accompanied by "Sychosys" Joe Petrow.  The     "Sychopaths" in the audience went wild.  McArthur offered his hand in friendship to his fellow Justice Squad member. As the Whining one took the hand, Petrow shouted "NOW!" and Maurice flattened his opponent with a left hand to the jaw.  McArthur became a machine from that point, dismantling his opponent with the help of Petrow.  "Sychosys" would call out a move to perform, and 3M would follow.  From that point on, McArthur is a machine.  When Petrow said "Punch him!", McArthur punched.  When Petrow said "Kick him!", McArthur kicked. When Petrow said "Choke him!", McArthur choked.   Finally, Petrow called out for the "STARSAULT PRESS!"  McArthur flashed a shocked look of terror but climbed the turnbuckle, then executed a sick rendition of the maneuver, getting no altitude and plunging face first into the mat.  Bloom took control from that point, throwing 3M around the ring, setting him up for the finisher.  Petrow grabbed Bloom's leg, tripping him and calling for 3M to "PIN HIM!"  McArthur made the lateral press while Petrow held tight to Bloom's leg as the ref counted 3M's first pinfall victory.     Petrow entered the ring and the two of them kicked Bloom around a bit before the two finished up with the "Majestic Star Press" wherein Petrow hit a Northern Lights Suplex while 3M squashed Bloom     underneath. RESULT: McArthur by pinfall. LM: We have some video here that we think you'll all find interesting. BL: It better not be me in that nightclub last night... LM: Um, no.   [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Petrow congratulates McArthur in the ring. Suddenly the fans give a shocked pop as the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi comes tearing down the aisle. As the crowd begins to jeer, Takezo pauses and gazes up at Majestic Maurice MacArthur up in the ring. He points at Triple M with a look of cold fury in his eyes, and Maurice starts to look around for an escape route. Musashi walks around the ring and grabs the mic from the announcer.] TM: Be at peace, Majestic Maurice MacArthur, my quarrel is not with you.     You may be a man small in strength and spirit, but you are not a man     of lawlessness and dishonour, you have merely been led astray. Led     astray, that is, by the scourge of the IIWF! Led astray by a man who     is depravity personified! Led astray by a man so tortured by his own     twisted demons that he can find no other purpose than to spread     chaos and mayhem throughout the IIWF! Led astray by "Sychosis" Joe     Petrow!     Are you listening, "Sycho" Joe? You had better be; for you would do     well to heed my words. You want to challenge Lord Byron for the     Intercontinental title? You think you actually have a future in this     federation? Joe Petrow, you will achieve nothing in the IIWF while I     am still living and breathing! Every single moment of my existence     is directed towards your downfall! Every single move you make in     your life is scrutinised by me! Every time you try to do anything in     this federation, I will be there breathing down your neck! I will     cause disruption to the very essence of your existence; I will drive     you crazier than you already are! [Petrow simply stands in the ring, arms folded, as the Sychopaths at ringside begin to chant, "Who are you? Who are you?" Musashi looks at them angrily, then to McArthur, before continuing:] TM: Maurice my brother, I know that you have been led astray. I know     that deep down you feel no affinity for this Joe Petrow. Inside of     you, you have no desire to participate in this madness. Inside of     you, you wish that you were the loser and non-achiever you always     were; that is your fate in life, that is your comfort. Come now,     relinquish your allegiance to this madman. It is not your place to     be involved in the affairs of greater men. Come now, take the     microphone and renounce Joe Petrow in front of all the world. Tell     all of the people what a depraved and despicable man Joe Petrow is. [Musashi climbs to the apron and holds the microphone out, offering it to McArthur, who looks nervously towards Petrow. However, he makes no move to take the mic.] TM: Well then, perhaps it is time for us to exorcise Joe Petrow's     influence. [Musashi only to whip back around and savate kick Maurice MacArthur in the throat! The crowd gives a shocked pop as Triple MMM drops and chokes! Petrow immediately attacks Musashi, hitting him in the back of the head, and stunning him momentarily. Petrow goes outside and grabs a chair, throwing it into the ring before climbing back in himself. Petrow charges up behind the recovering Musashi and cracks the chair across his back! Petrow drives the edge of the chair into Musashi's midsection, doubling the "Enigma" over. The crowd response builds as Petrow swings the chair a third time, cracking Musashi over the forehead and sending him over the top ropes in a three sixty! Takezo lands hard on the arena floot, but Petrow is not finished yet. He climbs up onto the top ropes and balances himself, before leaping off with the chair edge pointed downwards, driving it with tremendous momentum into the leg of Takezo Musashi! The "Enigma" yells out in pain. Abruptly, the IIWF security team swarms ringside, grabbing hold of Petrow just as he is about to fall atop Musashi and start pummelling. Other security members help Musashi to his feet with a firm grip, who limps on his wounded leg. Both wrestlers yell at each other in Japanese and struggle to break free. Suddenly, Musashi delivers a back elbow to one of the security guards holding him from behind and breaks loose! The crowd heat is tremendous as Musashi makes a grab for the ring bell. He siezes it up and dives at Joe Petrow, who is still struggling against a legion of security guards. Clang! Musashi brings the bell crashing down onto Petrow's skull. Both men go down, Petrow from the bell shot, and Musashi buckling under the strain of his wounded leg. On the ground they immediately start to brawl, kicking, punching and clawing like two wild animals. Once again, the security team attempts to pull them apart, though with some trepidition over fear of being hit by their flailing limbs. With considerable difficulty, the security team finally manage to seperate the two combatants from each other, and begins to herd them up the aisle in seperate directions. Petrow and Musashi continue to yell at one another furiously in Japanese all the way backstage. Cut back to Larry and Becky.] LM: I think I'm in the camp that believes that Petrow's fraternal     instincts haven't been in 3M's best interest.  BL: He's got what, 3 victories under Petrow?  Haven't you ever heard of     mentoring?  How about "Tough Love"?  You can't train a dog without     being sure he realizes the consequences of his mistakes. LM: Tough love? BL: Not since Brad Kinder left the fed. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Serge Annis vs. Jumpin' Jack ------------------------------------------------------------------------    Annis came ringside with Requiem's shattered guiter.  Before starting    the match, he hefted the broken remains and did a gruesome mockery    of trying to playing.  Jumpin' Jack tried to wrestle with an appliance on his face protecting the broken nose he recieved from Tiger Claw the week before.  Serge Annis showed no mercy.  And once Genesis appeared in the aisle, Serge had even more incentive to epitomize evil.  The bout ended when Annis pulled Jack's nose protection, snapping it back on his face by its elastic strap.  Annis stopped Jack from rolling around in pain long enough to get the pin. RESULT: Serge Annis by pinfall. [Cut to footage, subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." Steve Summer gets in the ring while Serge Annis continues to celebrate his victory, holding Requiem's shattered gutair. Annis' music, "Some Days It's Dark" drops as Summer pulls out a microphone.] SS: Serge Annis, I was just wondering if we could get a word with you.     First of all, why are you carrying Requiem's guitar? SA: Because, Summer, this guitar meant so much to Requiem. It was the     source of his power, his motivation. Seems rather silly to me... I     don't think he bonded with this guitar. SS: But why are you holding it around you now? SA: To rub it in to Requiem and all of Genesis! Maybe in some weird way     this guitar represented Genesis, and look at it _NOW_! All smashed up and broken, exactly the way Requiem is inside. He said I damned       myself... I have news for you Mr. Music Man, I damned myself a       l-l-l-l-long time ago! [pop] Besides... hehe, it's still playable.     See? [Annis strums a note and needless to say, it sounds awful due to the guitar's condition.] SA: Ahh... better sound than Requiem could ever make. [pop] SS: And this Saturday night, you and your partner in the "Unholy     Alliance," Deathbringer will collide with Requiem and the Highwayman. SA: Saturday night, Genesis, is going to be a landmark. See, the Dead Man is not very happy with you. I am not very happy with you. Requiem claimed I played the sympathy card. If the truth should be     sympathetic... then I regret coming forth... but if it makes me a     better person, Requiem, which it does, then I am glad... hehehe. I     don't need the sympathy card, just like how I don't need these fans.     They choose to cheer for me, or boo me.  It is not because I told them to cheer. [face pop] Shut up! Requiem, last Saturday Night, you showed the world what you could do. You showed the world that you could not beat Serge Annis. Sure you had control, but fact is that you could not defeat Serge Annis. Why? BECAUSE THERE IS NO QUIT IN SERGE ANNIS! I WILL NOT GIVE UP! You were right Requiem, you said you'd send me back to the basement... WELL, YOU DID! All that pain, I felt right at home. Requiem, you showed the world last Saturday what you are capable of... NOW IT IS _MY_ TURN! [The crowd pops loudly as "Some Days It's Dark" plays again. Annis walks away, but then walks back to the microphone.] SA: And in regards to the sympathy story, Requiem... who said I was     telling the truth? HA HA HA! [Annis laughs an evil laugh, and then suddenly stops and stares into the crowd as the lights dim and people hold up their Serge Annis Zippo lighters with pride. Fade back to the broadcast.] BL: At least Serge doesn't know the "Music of the Unwittingly Bored." LM: Once again Genesis makes their appearance. BL: Talking of Genesis... have you ever noticed what the Washington     Monument looks like?   Now _there_ is a tribute to Emancipation. LM: I'd like to add a short editorial... BL: All you have is a short editorial?  I'm sorry. LM: I understand that the IIWF is looking into Tiger Claw's fighting     style.  He's killed one man during his career, and if Jumpin' Jack's     nose is any indication, it could happen again.  Get rid of him, I tell you. BL: Short editorial!  ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Highwayman vs. El Super Gecko ------------------------------------------------------------------------     Before the match it was discovered that The Harlequins were in Gecko's dressing room.  When questioned, Melody said something cryptic about, "giving some instructions".  Highwayman came ringside with Requiem, the former looking moody and determined, as if needing to prove something.  When the match started, Highway expected Gecko to start his usual crowd-pleasing antics, jumping on the ropes, but     instead, the Gecko took it right to Highwayman, locking up a painful     armbar before the bell had finished ringing.  Highwayman found it     diffucult to get the momentum against Gecko's new arsenal of     submission moves.  That task was made even more difficult by the     arrival of Comedy who distracted Requiem, Highwayman and the ref in     turn.  During the distraction, Harlequin Chaos also came ringside,     doing his best to conceal a bat.  He entered the ring while Highwayman had Gecko in the corner.  Requiem moved to stop Chaos, and the referee was torn away from where Comedy was performing handsprings, to see the bat and Chaos.  Immediately the bell was rung, but that didn't stop Genesis from locking up with the Harlequin.  El Super Gecko rushed to help, his mask being torn away to reveal the face of Harlequin Tragedy.  Eventually, Requiem managed to get the bat, and combined with the arrival of Nightwing, the Harlequins left the ringside.  Tragedy paused only to yell,  "They call themselves Genesis. Then I'm the Book of Revelation!" RESULT: Highwayman by disqualification. LM: The _REAL_ El Super Gecko was found tied up backstage. BL: See, you CAN hurt the lizard.  Hurting the lizard.  Is that another     name for Emancipation? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Chris Quigley vs. "Nifty" Ned Norton ------------------------------------------------------------------------     Not suprisingly, shortly into this bout, Marty Warnett came ringside     taunting Chris Quigley.  Quigley remained mostly focused, throwing     "Nifty" Ned against Warnett where he stood taunting him on the apron. The resulting collision knocked Marty off the ring and gave     "Quickstrike" the opportunity to cover for the pin. Quigley politely thanked Warnett for the help.  Marty cooled off and began to leave, but Quigley nailed him from behind with a baseball slide, and the brawl was on.  The two spilled over into the crowd, and     security dragged them out.  They split and began to exit but Warnett     took a swing at Quigley and they were at each other again.  Simon     Lebec came from backstage, knocking both the combatants' heads     together.  Billy Shakespeare entered, centering his attention on     Lebec.  Quigley went for the Superkick on Simon, but "Showstopper"     ducked, and he planted his foot squarely in Shakespeare's face,     dropping him.  Warnett set to running Lebec into the guard rail until the Jobber Justice Squad and security pulled the opponents apart. Shakespeare took the opportunity of having Quigley restrained to get into a shoving match.  Eventually all the wrestlers left ringside, Lebec making a suggestion as to what the other three could do to him, his hand grabbing his crotch. LM: Bad blood, hurt feelings, Simon Lebec's ego, those four men meeting on Saturday should be something incredible. BL: Why do you persist in asking my opinion on this bout?  I can't think     of four other wrester's who I like less. LM: Dan Kauffman? BL: Who? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Creed vs. Barnacle Brother Bluto ------------------------------------------------------------------------     Creed came ringside with Ike Sampson and Mad Dog Watkins.  The fans     started a chant of "Pay-Back" which they kept up throughout the     match.  Creed wore his familiar red glove, and the less than familiar knee brace.  Creed stayed aware of the brace throughout the bout, concentrating on meeting his sailor opponent toe-to-toe and brawling. Avoiding the use of his deadly gloved left hand, Creed executed a series of closed fist blows, mixing in a few European uppercuts, then moving to nelsons and cross-face moves.  Eventually staggered, Bluto was set up for Creed's new move:  "Cataclysm," a cross-face into a bridging back suplex. After the match, Lord Byron and Otto Verhoeven made a brief entrance, but after a long stare-down left ringside. RESULT: Creed by pinfall LM: The time that Creed has spent training with Mad Dog Watkins is     obvious. BL: I'd say they're pretty close, especially since the two couldn't stand each other not too long ago. LM: Goes to show, anything can happen in the IIWF. BL: [slowly] Coronation... Clash... Crusade... Tour. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 6. Brody Thunder vs. Casey C. [J] ------------------------------------------------------------------------    Thunder was both methodical and destructive against the "other" Casey. He unleashed his arsenal of brawling moves much to his opponent's displeasure.  At one point he unleashed a back elbow blow with his elbowpad which stunned Casey C. into a stupor, just long enough to be put away with a Cattlebuster DDT.   Brody Thunder simply left the ring after the cover, and even before hearing his name as winner. LM: This man is focused.  I'd say he has every chance to win the IIWF     World belt on Saturday.  It's kind of scary how quickly he has     been working his way through this federation.  I know he holds belts     elsewhere.  I wouldn't be suprised if his time has finally come in the IIWF. BL: Am I an optimist or a pessimist?  On one hand, Casey James could lose the belt... and Brody win it.  Yet, Casey could keep the belt which would mean the tough cowboy loses.  I'm stumped.  ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 7. Violence Unlimited vs. Zodiac Connection ------------------------------------------------------------------------     Zodiac Connection barely arrived in time for this match, sprinting     from their car and into the ring wearing their street clothes.     Violence Unlimited were not distracted and the two locked up in     a very intense and physical bout.  The Zodiacs did their best to take their opponents outside the ring.  Once there, Scorpio attempted a number of springboard dives off the ropes to the apron.  Taurus, on the other hand, took an outside opportunity to powerslam Mutilator through a ringside table.  He tried to cap this off by grabbing a large personal stereo from a fan, trying to nail Mutilator with it, but missing.  On another trip outside, Taurus matched against Jaguar, Jaguar with the advantage, Icehawk and Edmund Fitzgerald of Cold Spell rushed the ring, double teaming Jaguar.  Again there was a brief brawl and the parties were separated.  Violence Unlimited vowed revenge on the 28th, and the Zodiacs were equally displeased, exchanging shoves with Hawk and Fitz before leaving.    RESULT: Violence Unlimited due to outside interference. LM: We don't have many tag teams right now in the IIWF, but he action     is hot between them.  The 28th should be interesting. BL: You're stretching for things to say just to fill time, aren't you? LM: Yes, yes, I am. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 8. Dark Disciples vs. Hollywood Bloods ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [Cut to footage of the W & W Express's early days when they were wrestling in independant federations.  One clip shows the Express execute the Vegitator on then NWF champion Hollywood at a supercard. Another clip shows Doug Wayne crush Abdul Allah with a flying elbow drop of a 20ft high steel cage in a dimly lit arena as Clark Watson lays in a bloody mess on the concrete.  Another clip shows highlights of some of their IIWF matches.  Among the highlights is Harlequin Tragedy throwing powder in his own eyes to escape the beating by the Express, and Doug Wayne slamming Taurus of the Zodiac Connection into the ring apron.  The words "W & W Express" come onto the screen in red mettalic like letters.  The letters quickly transform reading "Hollywood Bloods". The camera then goes to an empty arena late at night.  The only sounds heard are the creaking of the stands. The camera then focuses on two men high in the balcony.  It is Doug Wayne and Clark Watson.  Doug Wayne begins to talk as Watson just stares at the ceiling of the arena.] WAYNE: When all the fans are gone and all the glitz and glamour fades        away. You are just left alone by yourself.  To look into        yourself, at what you accomplished, at the wars you fought, all        the battles you won and those you've lost.  At the great        champions you've been priviliged to see along the way.  This is a        place where how much money you made doesn't matter.  Where the        fans' cheers mean nothing. [Clark Watson takes a deep breath, stares at the camera for a few seconds and begins to talk.] WATSON: When everything is said and done, I want to look back at our         careers and be able to say we mattered.  We weren't just another         tag team.  I want our opponents to look at their scared bodies         in the mirror everyday and say "I remember that one.  That was         from the Hollywood Bloods' match. Those two were some tough         SOB's."  He won't be able to play ball with his kids because his         neck will be too injured from a piledriver I inflicted on him.         That is respect, that is honor. [Wayne looks at his partner and smiles.  He then turns to the camera and begins to talk.] WAYNE: The Dark Disciples are the first ones that get to experience the        Hollywood Bloods.  The so-called bad asses of the IIWF. We still        remember when you attacked us from behind.  When we tried to to        things the right way. When we tried to just be a tag team.  Those        days are over.  It's now we kill you before you kill us. [Watson gets an enraged look on his face.  He then pulls his hair up revealing a nasty scar on his forehead. He begins to scream at the camera.] WATSON: You see this scar? You see this scar, Disciples?  You gave me         this. But this is nothing compared to what happens to you.  You         will not make it to your "big" match with Pain Inc.  Payback's         gonna be a bitch, boys. [Fade] [SCENE: Kane and Wulf of the Dark Disciples stand in the backstage area moments before their match with the Hollywood Bloods. Wulf paces around like a caged animal, itching to get to the carnage ahead. Kane stares at the camera with cold menace.] KANE: "Late Night" Doug Wayne, Clark "Beach Bum" Watson; what do you    represent to the Dark Disciples? You wear your hair long like a    couple of little girls, you like to bum around beaches, you wander    around the IIWF without a purpose like spaced out sheep -- you're a    pair of goddamn hippies! The hippies died out long ago, my friends,    and if you are the last vestige of their existence; well, it is time    you joined your brothers in extinction! One thing my old man always    told me, before he died in that horrible meat grinding accident    own at the factory, was "son, if you ever see a hippie on the    street, spit on him first, and knock him down second." But I'm not    gonna do that Watson and Wayne. No, instead I'm gonna content    myself with just spilling your drug-addled blood across the canvas,    ripping your legs off, and using them to beat your goddamn brains into a mushy grey paste! [Wulf cackles with insane glee at this comment.] WULF: Hollywood, bloody Hollywood! Your names are curiously fitting,     my weak little friends! Because in just a few moments, we shall turn your Hollywood hides crimson with streaming blood! We will beat your scrawny flesh so brutally that blood will ooze from every pore on your bodies! Y'know why? Because we're so damned angry, that is why! We're angry at Pain Inc, we're angry at the Syndicate, we're angry at the IIWF officials, we're angry because we haven't got our belts back yet, we're angry at ourselves; in fact, I can't remember a time when we haven't been angry! But y'know something? I don't give a damn, because the ones who pay for our anger are those who step into the ring with us; and tonight Hollywood Bloods, that means you! [demented cackle] [Fade]     The Disciples came ringside to "I Wanna Spill the Blood of a Hippie"     by the Doug Anthony All-Stars.  Both teams went right for the throat, the Dark Disciples their usual selves, the Hollywood Bloods displaying their new image.  Before long, all semblance of wrestling disappeared and the four slugged it out in the ring.  An extra official came to the ring and it was some minutes before order could be re-established.  The crowd began a chant of "We want blood."  It was Pain Inc. who responded, rushing down he aisle, vaulting the ropes and throwing themselves into the newly-restarted match.  While it was the Dark Disciples who were their targets, it was only a matter of seconds before all six men were involved.  Brian Lau walked halfway down the aisle accompanied by Tiger Claw, calling to his wayward tag team, but left even more irritated when they ignored him.  The officials surrendered to the confusion and rang the bell for the double DQ.  The Bloods were the first to leave the ring.  The other two teams continued their brawl, and security finally found it necessary to handcuff Wulf to the ringpost.  Pain Inc. finally stalked slowly away, Kane holding up a ragged lock of Hellraiser's hair in defiance. RESULT: Double disqualification on interference. LM: [sarcastic] Pain Inc. and the Dark Disciples. I can't think of a pair who deserve each other more. BL: Steve Summers and The Smooth?  Little Steve is quite the Emancipator, I'm told. LM: Give it a rest. BL: That's what Steve Roberts keeps telling him, but he just won't!  LM: How about the new attitude by the Hollywood Bloods? BL: You mean the former Rock and Roll Express, now the Hollywood Blondes? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ SPECIAL LIVE MAIN EVENT: IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: Dirt Dog Unique Allah [c] vs. "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare ------------------------------------------------------------------------ LM: We decided to show this bout live. BL: Like this is going to push us past the Grain documentary in the     ratings? LM: Hey, at least we're finally beating out "Lassie" re-runs. BL: That's because the IIWF bought the "Lassie" syndication rights and     stopped running it.  Though there is that hole on Thursday night... LM: Talking about Steve Roberts, both he and Tim Dross made a special     appearance to call this match, and to the delight of the fans. BL: These fans need to get out more. LM: Let's see this match as it was called earlier this evening. [Cut to footage subtitled, "Earlier Tonight." As Sparkplug Lee walks into the ring, he pauses, looks hesitant, and stops to ask the referee a question.  The referee smiles, looks on Lee's back, and lets out a chuckle.  Hearing the referee's laughter, Sparkplug Lee lowers his head in embarrassment thinking he's been fooled again, only to have the smile return to his face when the tennis team yells, "We love you Sparkplug!". The words "You mean there's nothing bad on the back?" can be read coming from Lee's lips, then he confidently strides to the middle of the ring to give his overjoyous ring introductions.] SL: Ladies and gentelemen... I am proud to present the next match as it is for the IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP! [A loud crowd pop resonates around the thousands of fans assembled around the Lincoln Memorial, many waving miniature "old glories".] SL: Introducing first... hailing from Ashland, Oregon and weighing in at     230 pounds... he is a former IIWF Cruiserweight champion... he is "SPOTLIGHT" BILLY SHAKESPEARE!!!! [The crowd offers Shakespeare a loud, but mixed reposnse as "Little Willie" cranks up over the PA system.  Shakespeare walks through the curtain, pauses and gives a wry smile to the crowd, and then heads to the ring.  His white tights hold the same comedy/tradgedy mask that he sports on his face, which looks almost menacing in the light of the pyrotechnics that accompany his entrance.] SL: And his opponent... hailing from Brooklyn, New York and weighing in at 238 pounds... he is the IIWF Cruiserweight Champion... here is DIRT DOG UNIQUE ALLAH! [A large crowd pop, smattered with a few boos as the champion emerges from behind the curtain and "Snakes" by Ol' Dirty Bastard begins to play.  His entrance is far from the usual fayre; in fact, it's down right extravagant. Unique's appearance is striking as he comes out with magenta hair, hoisted on the shoulders of a group of harem girls and accompanied by the Prophets of Rage and the Jobber Justice Squad.  He is also sawing on a fiddle like the Roman Emperor Nero.] TD: Quite an appearance here by the Cruiserweight Champion.  He looks quite regal for someone who just months ago was living off the streets. SR: Can the pauper to prince crap, Dross.  Get a look at the Prophets. Are those tasers they are carrying?  TD: The tag champions the Prohphets of Rage do indeed appear to be carrying some sort of electric foreign objects.  Are they tasers, Steve Roberts?  I sure hope not. SR: Well, the Prophets have gone a long way to making Joe Petrow and Triple M into sworn enemies.  What a great way to prevent a run-in     sneak attack! TD: Why am I not surprised that you would approve of such measures? [The camera focuses in on Allah as he takes his time getting ready for the match.  He seems preoccupied with the harem of girls which accompanied him to ringside.  Allah keeps asking the girls to "Jus' touch the muh fuh" and Tim Dross can be heard muttering something about how he hopes DDUA is talking about the Cruiserweight belt.  Shakespeare - having seen more than enough of this lavish entrance - walks over to DDUA and forces the issue. He grabs Unique by his left shoulder and spins him around, so that the two combatants are locked eye to eye.  Shakespeare say nothing since his aggresive posture says it all.  DDUA smiles at Shakespeare, points at the belt still around his waist, and turns around to take it off.  Shakespeare steps back in disgust, and then DDUA turns around qucikly and nails Billy across the head with the championship belt!  The referee is quick to grab the belt away from DDUA and rings the bell to start the match.] TD: What a cheap shot by Dirt Dog to start things off here!  If the match would have already started, that shot would have surely have earned him a disqualification. SR: Yeah, but the match hadn't started so DDUA was smart.  Hell, maybe he'll do it again.  You know he can't lose the belt on a disqualification, and knocking Pukespeare cold with the belt would be a great thing to see.  Besides, it'd get the Dirty Doggie back to those harem girls a lot quicker.  Mmmmmm... harem girls. [The match begins fast and furious as DDUA takes the fight to a shaken Billy Shakespeare immediately.  DDUA is on Shakespeare fast, following up the cheap shot with hard lefts and rights to the head.  He has Billy beaten into the corner, until the referee forces Unique to break it up. Shakespeare rolls outside to regather his composure as Unique is quick to accept applause from his Age of Rage stablemates.  Shakespeare walks to the opposite side and gets ready to re-enter the ring when he hesitates. At ringside Shakespeare notices that none other than "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley has taken a seat in the front row.  Shakespeare stares at Quigley, who is decked out in his Steve Yzerman #19 Red Wings jersey, and then slides under the ring ropes to break the referee's count.] TD: Chris Quigley has made his way to ringside, apparently to watch Shakespeare in this matchup.  The question is: is Quigley here in support of Billy or against him? SR: What's it matter, Dross?  Everyone knows that Simon Lebec owns these two cowards and "the Party Enema" Marty Walnut too.  I can wait to see little Chrissy "Blackballed" by the Showstopper.  Wait a minute... I bet Troy has already... [A cheer of "Shoot, Soundbite, shoot!" errupts from the Lil' Soundbiters seated behind the announcing table.] TD: Be careful with what you say, Steve Roberts. Remember your agreement with the front office. SR: Damn it.  Doesn't matter, I got the color wrong anyway... what I meant to say was blue... [Soundbite is cut off as the crowd pops loudly for a beautiful tilt-a-whirl slam performed by DDUA on Shakespeare after Shakespeare had missed with a clothesline attempt on an Irish whip to the ropes. Shakespeare gets up quickly however and takes the fight right to DDUA. Shakespeare slaps the Cruiserweight champion hard across the mouth, which is answered by a har right of his own by DDUA.  A hard left from Shakespeare follows, but Unique has had enough and levels Billy with three European uppercuts in succession.  Unique picks up Shakespeare and sends him into the ropes with an Irish whip, and a dropkick sends him crashing to the mat.  Unique is once again on the attack with another Irish whip, ducks a shoulderblock attempt and hits Billy with a nice sunset flip which nets a two count.  Billy kicks out in disgust and once again rolls to the outside.] SR: You mean to tell me that the Dirty Doggie isn't drunk tonight?  I figure he'd be extra sloshed now that he's champion.  Not to mention the fact that we are so close to Bourbon Street. TD: Maybe capturing IIWF gold has matured Allah, Steve.  SR: Yeah right.  Maturity's got nothing to do with going down to Bourbon Street, throwing back a baker's dozen, and finding some newbile co-ed to take back to the hotel and... TD: Please, Steve. [The crowd once again responds with "Shoot, Soundbite, Shoot!"] SR: Hahahaha... that's the general idea, kiddies... if you know what I mean.  They don't call me the King of Bedside Manner for nothing. [Back to action, Shakespeare is still on the outside having taken his time getting in the ring.  He backs up when the Prophets come his way, and slides down under the ring momentarily.] TD: What in the world is Billy Shakespeare doing? SR: Maybe he's looking under the ring for his backbone.  Lord knows he needs one.  Dirt Dog is handing him his lunch. [Shakespeare emmerges after a few seconds with a flask of Kessler's Whiskey in his hand and an evil smirk across his face.  He slides back into the ring, stands up, and holds the bottle out to DDUA, taunting him. Allah starts laughing then gets progressively more angered as Shakespeare continues his taunting.  Allah charges Billy, who sidesteps, and Allah goes slamming hard into the turnbuckle.  Shakespeare then unscrews the bottle and pours the liquor at the feet of Allah.  That's all it takes as Allah hits Shakespeare with a crescent kick, and Billy goes down quickly. Allah jumps up to the second rope and drops an elbow down across the chest of his fallen opponent.  But Allah goes to the well once too often and misses with a second elbow, and Shakespeare follows the miscue with a hard leg drop.  Shakespeare grabs a hand full of DDUA's magenta hair, and maneuvers DDUA into position to hit a beautiful snap suplex.  Billy quickly goes for the cover: 1 - 2 - and a kickout by the champion. Sensing that he has gained the advantage, Shakespeare picks up Allah and hits him with a well-executed standing dropkick to the jaw.  Picking the champion back up, Shakespeare nails a few hard chops to the ebony chest of DDUA, Irish whips him to the far side, and nails a hotshot maneuver!] TD: Shakespeare with a hotshot!  I think the tide has turned in this one, Steve Roberts!  Here's the cover! One! Two... and Allah kicks out! SR: You think the tide has turned?  Me too.  Just check out the ring aisle. [The camera shows a shot of Marty Warnett making his way to the ring. Warnett walks down in a cocky manner and cautiously maneuvers his way past the Age of Rage who cast a warnful glance in the "Party Animal's" direction.] SR: What does Walnut want?  All he's going to do is make Shakespeare angry. TD: Marty Warnett making his presence known again here tonight at the Lincoln Memorial. In the ring... wait a minute.  It's Simon Lebec!  Now Lebec's making his way down to ringside. SR: Now the fun can begin. [In the ring, Shakespeare stops putting the boots to DDUA as the crowd responds to the appearance of Simon Lebec.  On the outside, Warnett has made his way around the ring and has his back to the seated Chris Quigley. Quigley stands up, grabs Warnett by his shirt, and spins him around.  The two athletes get into each others face, seperated only by the crowd restraining barrier.  Not one to be left out, Lebec makes his way over to the argument, only to be met with a hard right hand from Warnett that sends him to the mats on the floor.  Quigley has had enough, braces himself on the barrier, and vaults over with a dropkick that nails Warnett. Warnett's momentum carries him backfirst into the ring apron where Billy Shakespeare had just moved to in order to try a slingshot legdrop on Allah from the outside.  Warnett's blow does no more than distract Shakespeare, who turns around and begins to yell at Warnett and Quigley. Warnett's legs are then taken out by Lebec as he gets up from the floor, and Quigley quickly joins the fray as all three men brawl on the floor. Shakespeare is taken off guard by the whole scene, and is caught by DDUA who grabs Shakespeare from behind and brings him back in the hard way with a nice dragon suplex.  Unique manages the maintain the bridge and the referee goes for the count: 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] SL: Ladies and gentlemen... here is you winner and still IIWF Cruiserweight Champion... DIRT DOG UNIQUE ALLAH! [The Age of Rage's celebration is short lived as Shakespeare grabs Lebec by the hair and pulls him into the the ring.  Unique, his business done, hits the floor and exits with the Prophets and Medusa.] SR: What did Lebec do to deserve that, Tim Dross?  He's not the one who cost Shakespeare the match! TD: I'm not sure Billy Shakespeare cares who he gets his hands on, just so long as he can take out his frustrations on somebody.  All three men are partially responsible for his loss here today! [After a hard clothesline that sends him over the ropes, Lebec decides that he's had enough and heads to the back.  Warnett and Quigley trade vicious blows on the outside until Shakespeare joins them.  Knowing a bad situation when he sees it, Warnett decides it's in his best interests to head to the back and live to fight another day.] SR: Look at the coward run.  Why couldn't he stay in there and let all three of these prima donnas beat each other into a pulp? TD: Quigley and Shakespeare seem to have called a truce here as Warnett retreats to the back.  Wait a minute!  Shakespeare is now verbally berating Quigley for his involvement in the loss!  Quigley just shoves Shakespeare!  And now he vaults over the ring barrier and into the crowd!  What is going on here? I guess we'll find out this Saturday Night... [Cut back to Larry and Becky at their makeshift desk.] LM: That's all for tonight.  On Saturday we have that incredible matchup between Casey James and Brody Thunder as well as the four man match between four of the IIWF's top stars.  All that will be coming at you from Landover, Maryland. BL: And the week after, we'll be in _CLEVELAND_. Can you imagine...     CLEVELAND! LM: Well Becky, this is, after all: LM & BL: [together] The Coronation Clash Crusade Tour. [There is heard the sound of a gun being fired.  The crew scatters. Larry ducks beneath the table.  Becky files her nails.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Jim Jividen | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | brokeback@webtv.net | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+