##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =============================================== C + L + A + S + S + I + C + S ----------------------------------------------- 3 July 1997 [Fade through to an IIWF studio. "Soundbite" Steve Roberts is seated at a desk in front of a bank of small video monitors, each of which is showing footage of various cataclysmic encounters from the IIWF's archives. The shot closes in on his face, and he speaks:] SR: Hey, hey, morons, it's Thursday, and that can mean only one thing: tomorrow's Friday. I'm "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, and you should consider yourselves damned lucky that I have seen fit to trawl through the IIWF's archives to find you a classic match from the past. And I found you a doozy, folks. This Saturday Night, live from the Manhattan Centre in New York City, the biggest match of the first round of the Coronation Clash Tournament will go down in front of a jam-packed six thousand-strong audience. "Quickstrike" Chrissie Quigley will put his bitch ass on the line against the Teutonic terror, the German juggernaut, Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven. These two men have met before, and it's that first encounter, dating back to September 11 last year, that I'll be showing you here tonight. I hardly need to mention the bad blood that exists between Verhoeven and Quigley. Quigley blamed the Butcher for eliminating him from the tournament to crown the first IIWF Cruiserweight Champion -- which culminated on the very same edition of Midweek Mayhem, with Billy Shakespeare taking the title -- and began spouting racial slurs on the big man. Verhoeven has never been one to take abuse lying down -- but he generously offered Chrissie the chance to take a lie down in the hospital for a while. After this meeting, Chrissie and the "Butcher" were scheduled to meet again after Otto captured the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship, but Quigley's problems with Simon Lebec put paid to that, and he suffered a head trauma which kept him out of action for the night he was scheduled to wrestle for the title -- instead, "Lame Duck" Dan Kauffman subbed for Quigley and defeated the "Butcher" in one of the biggest screwjobs in IIWF history. The biggest injustice of all is that the "Butcher" never got the rematch he deserved. But the hand of fate has brought Quigley and Verhoeven back into the same ring this Saturday Night, and again, Chrissie is having problems with Simon Lebec. If you're looking for an indicator as to what we can expect this Saturday Night, this match should fit that role admirably. So without further ado -- because I don't get paid by the minute, so there's no reason for me to stick around any longer than necessary -- here's the match. Pull up a chair, crack open a beer, slap a tape in your VCR and get your pause button at the ready. If you're anything like me, there are bits of this match that you'll want to watch over and over again. Becky LaRue and Larry Morton are at the commentary table, as Midweek Mayhem, from the Omni, Atlanta, Georgia, reaches fever pitch. Over to you, morons. [Cut to footage captioned, "IIWF Midweek Mayhem: 11 September 1996." A montage of interior shots of the jam-packed Omni, Atlanta, GA, leads to a shot of Larry Morton and Becky LaRue at the ringside broadcast table.] BL: Larry, have I ever told you how much I respect the job you do here? LM: I'm not falling for that. BL: Larry, there's something on your tie. [She points.] LM: Huh? Where? [Becky flicks him in the nose when he looks down.] Why, I oughtta... [composes himself] Right now, let's go backstage to hear from Chris Quigley as he prepares himself for his match with the Butcher. [Camera cuts to Chris Quigley, taping his wrists in the locker room, before his match against Otto Verhoeven.] CQ: Butcher! Tonight's the night! Tonight is when you pay BIG TIME for costing me the IIWF Crusierweight title! I'm sick and tired of you, badmouthing the United States, and of course, badmouthing Canada! Hell, the only reason you're here is because most Germans couldn't stand your Hitler-worshipping, Nazi attitude! It's time to wake up to the real world, Verhoeven! You are facing the best wrestler in the IIWF today, and I'm gonna show YOU why! I'm gonna tie you into a knot, and kick your ass back to Germany. Or maybe I'll kick it right into the Iraqi line of fire, that way one of those damn missles will be well spent by taking YOU out. I'm gonna STRIKE YOU DOWN! And as far as those finishing moves of yours go... how LETHAL they are supposed to be. Remember this, I got back up and fought a match after getting your chokeslam on the CONCRETE FLOOR! I've kicked out of more moves than you can possibly count, and if I have to, I'll kick out of whatever it is you throw at me! And you say you are dedicating the match to Bret Hart? You can go right ahead, I have my own career to worry about, without sticking my nose in his. Maybe you should keep your mind on wrestling, and less about what you're gonna try to do to humiliate me, because you should get this through your head... it AIN'T gonna happen! I'm gonna put you down once and for GOOD! [Cut back to ringside as Quigley continues taping his wrists.] LM: I don't think Chris Quigley likes Otto Verhoeven very much, Becky. BL: You really will never learn, will you?! =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley vs. Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= LM: I really don't know who to go for in this matchup. Verhoeven has been on a real tear as of late. He's made his philosophy known by joining the Outlaw J.W. Hardin in the attack on The Subway Psycho. He's also taken the Family on. BL: Well, to be honest, nobody's really afraid to take the Family on. People just don't look forward to the tantrum Don Antonio throws when he loses. LM: Will you stop? Let's concentrate on the match at hand. Quigley might be the one to knock Verhoeven down a peg or two. BL: Sure, if this were a jaw-flapping competition. Verhoeven is just too powerful for the hot-aired Quigley. I think Verhoeven will end this one quickly. [The spotlight fals on Sparkplug Lee, who is standing there singing a song to himself.] RA: *ahem*... Ladies and Gentlemen, this match is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from Corner Brook, Newfoundland, Canada, "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley! [Quigley's AC/DC theme music blares over the speakers as he makes his way down the isle. the lights dim, and red X's light his path to the ring. The crowd pops as Quigley slaps some hands of fans on the way down. He picks out a youngster in the stands, and gives him his wraparound glasses.] LM: You know, the fans have really warmed up to Mr. Quigley as of late. BL: Yes, they've warmed up because Quigley has bathed them in hot air. Do you know that people from Newfoundland have a whole line of jokes based on them? LM: Oh, stop it! That's just racist, you know? BL: No it's not... It's true... Hey, Larry -- how many Newfies does it take to... LM: That's enough! RA: Introducing his opponent, hailing from Essen, Germany and being accompanied to the ring by Nurse Heidi, Otto "The Butcher" Verrrrrrhoevennnnn! [The heel pop is deafening as Otto Verhoeven steps out from the backstage area. Otto taunts the fans as he makes his way down to ringside, and Heidi laughs as she walks behind him. LM: You know what they say... Behind every man... BL: ... is a woman that will kick her man's teeth in if he gets out of line. You can bet that Verhoeven is doing just what his Heidi wants. [Verhoeven steps into the ring, and the referee checks him for weapons. Verhoeven complains about the treatment, but the ref is having none of it. The ref finishes his investigation, and calls for the bell, getting the match underway. Quigley circles Verhoeven carefully, while Verhoeven just walks up to Quigley and slaps him in the face. Heel pop as Quigley recoils from the sucker shot and begins to stare down Verhoeven as Verhoeven rains insults on him. Quigley remains calm as the monster Verhoeven gets redfaced as he calls Quigley every name in the book.] BL: I guess I was wrong when I said that Quigley would win a war of words. Look at Verhoeven go... This should go into the record books under "cussing"! [Verhoeven says something that gets Quigley going, and Quigley kicks him in the gut. He follows up with a quick frankensteiner, and gives Verhoeven a few shots to the head. Quigley then bounces off the ropes and lands a nice, stiff elbow drop.] LM: I wonder what Verhoeven said that set Quigley off like that... BL: I bet you ten dollars it was a Newfie joke. [Quigley stands Verhoeven up and executes a fine Enzuigiri kick, which drops Verhoeven to the mat again. Quigley shouts to the crowd, and the pop gets louder. Quigley locks a side headlock on the big man and squeezes. Verhoeven works to get to his feet, and picks Quigley up. The crowd pops as Quigley is held in the air, still holding the head of Verhoeven. Verhoeven drops Quigley to the mat in a belly to back suplex, then locks on a blatant chokehold. The ref counts to 5, and Verhoeven breaks to complain to the ref, but puts his shin over the Canadian's throat. The crowd gives a heel pop as Verhoeven chokes Quigley, and finally the ref starts another count. Verhoeven gets up and drags Quigley to the ropes, draping him over the second rope. Verhoeven showboats to the crowd, then climbs onto the rope. He jumps off, landing with his full weight on the back of Quigley. Verhoeven repeats the maneuver, and showboats to the crowd again. He attempts the maneuver again, but Quigley moves away at the last moment, causing Verhoeven to hit the ropes with his legs and bounce his head off the mat.] LM: That's the problem with a move like that. You need to do it several times to be effective, but each time you do it, you're setting yourself up to get hit hard. BL: Have you been taking commentary lessons, Larry? Anyway, It's going to take more than a bit of luck to put Verhoeven down. [Verhoeven holds his head on the mat, and Quigley quickly goes to the second turnbuckle. He jumps off, and lands a fist into Verhoeven's forehead. Pop. Quigley then picks up Verhoeven an executes a quick backbreaker, but seems to have hurt his own knee by slamming the heavy German onto it. Quigley goes down, clutching his right knee, and Verhoeven attempts to get up. Verhoeven sees Quigley nursing the leg, and begins to stomp on it. Heel pop as Verhoeven works Quigley over. Verhoeven puts his foot on the back of Quigley's leg, lifts it, and drives the knee down into the mat, causing Quigley to shout in pain. Verhoeven locks on a Half-crab on Quigley's bad leg.] LM: We're used to seeing Verhoeven wear a guy down with high impact moves, but it seems like he knows how to wear a body part down with some submission holds as well! BL: It's all about pain, Larry. There's the quick shot which gives quick pain, and then there's the long, drawn-out hold that keeps the pain constant over time. Is it any wonder that Verhoeven would like the latter? [Verhoeven really lays on the punishment as the crowd rallies behind Quigley. Quigley gets up on his arms and begins to walk his torso back, relieving some of the pressure on his knee. He then uses his free leg to kick Verhoeven in the head. Big pop as the big man staggers back, clutching his face. Quigley uses the ropes to get to his feet and begins to shake off the effects of the onslaught to his knee. He limps over to Verhoeven and executes an Irish Whip. Verhoeven comes off the ropes, and Quigley launches a clotheline which downs both men. Quigley begins to work on the leg, but Verhoeven kicks him to the opposite side of the ring. Quigley's knee gives out, and he falls to the mat. Verhoeven gets up again, and spits more insults at the prone Canadian. He grabs Quigley's leg, and locks on a spinning toe-hold. Quigley screams out in pain, and Verhoeven laughs to Heidi.] LM: He's enjoying this! Knees are touchy things, Becky. I wouldn't be surprised if there's some big-time damage to that right knee. BL: How would you know about how tender knees are? Unless... Eew... I don't even want to think about that... LM: What?! Hey! [Verhoeven lets go of the toe-hold and tried to drop a knee on Quigley's leg. Quigley moves, and Verhoeven drives his own knee into the mat. Verhoeven rolls to his back, holding his knee, and Quigley swiftly locks on the Quickstriker scorpion death lock. The crowd pops large.] LM: This is it! The Quickstriker! BL: The only problem is that Verhoeven won't quit. He's too proud to quit. He'd sooner let Quigley break his legs. [Quigley puts all of his weight into the hold, and Verhoeven shouts out in pain. He tries to reach the ropes, but Quigley has the hold locked on with authority. Heidi runs around the outside of the ring to come face to face with Verhoeven, and he signals to her. She runs into the ring and bulldogs Quigley out of the hold. The ref quickly calls for the bell. Heidi continuously rams Quigley's head into the mat, and Verhoeven slowly gets to his feet. He tests the strength of his legs, then shakes off the effects of the Quickstriker. Heidi picks Quigley up, and Verhoeven grabs him by the throat. Big heel pop as Verhoeven executes the Slaughterslam. Heidi jumps up and down, cheering her man on, and Verhoeven picks Quigley up again by the throat. He looks to the crowd, you jeer him, and he shakes his head. Verhoeven grabs Quigley's right leg, and executes an atomic drop on the injured knee. Quigley goes down to the mat and flails around in pain. Verhoeven promises the crowd that he's going to break Quigley's leg, and the ref calls for the bell again. Verhoeven and Heidi ignore the bell, and Verhoeven begins to set Quigley up for another knee-breaker. A swarm of officials run down the ring and try to separate Verhoeven from Quigley. Verhoeven pushes many of them out of the way, so the "Jobber Justice Squad" comes down to ringside. Varied jobbers run into the ring and try to keep the two men separate. They accomplish their task and force Verhoeven and Heidi from the ring.] LM: That was disgusting, Becky. There's no call for attempting to end a man's career. BL: Unless it's that man in the ring right now... [The jobbers help Quigley to his feet, and he leans in the corner, checking his knee. The officials looks at the knee, and can't decide whether it looks okay or not. Quigley makes the decision by signalling to the fans that he's okay. He goes through the ropes, and kind of hops on his good leg. Ned Norton offers himself as a crutch, but Quigley pushes him away. Quigley limps back up the aisle alone, ignoring the cheers of the fans.] BL: What an ego case... LM: He's determined to do it himself, Becky. I guess to him, accepting the offer of help would show a weakness... BL: Give me a break... The guy's just too conceited to admit that he's hurt... He's a human being, Larry. Human beings get hurt. It seems that Quigley thinks he's something more. [Fade] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Jim Jividen | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | brokeback@webtv.net | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+