##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= H + O + T + L + I + N + E #1-900-325-IIWF =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= 6 July 1997 ----------------------------------------------- [click] --------------------------- OPTION #1: The Dross Report --------------------------- Howdy, folks, and welcome to the IIWF Hotline. You've reached the Dross Report, updated on Sunday 6 July 1997, just six days prior to the biggest pay-per-view event of the year, and possibly of all time, IIWF Coronation Clash, a huge four-hour extravaganza which will take place next Saturday night in the sold out Fleet Center, in Boston, Massachusetts. And the roller-coaster ride that has been the Coronation Clash Crusade Tour is finally on its final stretch, heading direct to the windy city. What a whirlwind past seven weeks it's been folks -- we've travelled the length and breadth of the United States, even dipping into Mexico. We've seen Championships change hands, suspensions, reinstatements, controversy, and surprise after surprise. Just last night, live from the Manhattan Centre in New York City, a capacity live audience of six thousand and a worldwide television audience of millions witnessed more shocking events: the elimination from the tournament of one of the hottest favourites, Chris Quigley; the dissolution of the Syndicate as a stable, and the birth of a new tag team version; the returns of the IIWF President and Steve "the Fury" Kowalski, as a protracted legal battle -- which I understand my colleague Steve Roberts will be covering in his hotline segment this week if he so chooses to record it -- comes to its end; and two more blockbusting matches added to the card for Coronation Clash. Let's go back and cover each of those events in more detail. The first and last of those surprises, however, are certainly linked: the elimination of Chris Quigley from the Coronation Clash tournament, as the Canadian fell to defeat at the hands of nemesis Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven, coupled with the elimination a little earlier in the evening of triple crown hopeful Billy Shakespeare, with both results owing more than a little to the interference of Simon Lebec and Marty Warnett, has resulted in the sanctioning of a wild, falls count anywhere four way brawl between these sensational superstars to take place next Saturday night at the Clash. The rules of this match will be simple: all four men will be legal at any one time, so two referees will be on hand to make the calls in this encounter. The match will continue until only one man is left standing, with eliminations either by pinfall or submission. I saw both Chris Quigley and Billy Shakespeare after last night's show, and to say that they were disappointed at their elimination would be the understatement of the year, although I believe that, if it is possible, Quigley feels the pique of defeat more keenly than his peer. For while Shakespeare has tasted IIWF gold on two separate occasions in the past with two separate titles, Chris Quigley has yet to win a championship belt, and three men have proved consistent obstacles to his success: one is Otto Verhoeven, who defeated him last night in a match which was truly one for the ages, the Butcher starting out by blinding Quigley with pyrotechnics, but "Quickstrike" surviving attack after attack to resume control of the encounter, only for Warnett and Lebec to cause his elimination; the second obstacle has been Billy Shakespeare, who has inflicted momentum-killing, confidence-hitting defeats on Quigley on no less than three occasions, with the Canadian still not holding a single victory over the man who is "Born to Perform"; and the third is Simon Lebec, who also holds a victory over Quigley -- but a victory that came thanks to outside interference. For that reason, I believe that, more than the other three men involved in what could prove to be an all-out war, it is Chris Quigley who has everything to gain from a victory. After failing to capture the IIWF Championship at Birthday Bash, and falling prey to the Butcher last night, again dashing his hopes of clutching that title belt close to his chest, Quigley may be one victory away from another resurgence -- or one defeat away from self-destruction. The signing of the second extra blockbuster match last night was also linked to a bombshell turn of events. Casey James and Tiger Claw, stablemates in the Syndicate, had been drawn to face one another in the first round of the tournament, but when it came to bell time last night, there was no match -- simply an announcement that Brian Lau was dissolving the Syndicate, that he was stepping down from managing, and that Casey and Claw had exchanged their singles contracts for a joint tag team contract. Absolute bombshell news, folks. Ever since the IIWF began, Brian Lau and Tiger Claw, around whom the Oriental mastermind built the Syndicate, have been mainstays of competition here; together, the Syndicate have created more headlines -- and, with three IC titles, a record-breaking World title run, and two World tag team champions on their books at one time or another -- won more titles than any other group in IIWF history. And now, it is gone. Rumours abound that Brian Lau felt that the Syndicate's supremacy as the most dominant stable in the IIWF was under threat from the glut of new partnerships springing up throughout the roster -- from the so-called "Black Pack" and "White Flight", via the Age of Rage, the "Unholy Alliance," the European Alliance, and, of course, the current flavour of the month, Genesis -- and thus, with his numerous recent problems with the unreliable tag team combination of Pain Inc. and the Dark Disciples, along with the uninspiring Danny Dynamite, decided to cut his losses and plough his considerable managerial know-how into taking Casey and Claw to the top of the tag team scene, following close to a year of domination in the singles division. The replacement of either one of Tiger Claw or Casey James in the Sweet Sixteen round of the tournament with "Dangerous" Danny Dynamite -- who was nominated as a kind of severance deal with Lau, his association now having come to an end -- was a disappointment to fans looking forward to seeing these two seminal IIWF superstars getting it on in the ring, although I'm sure that the disappointment was banished by the electric return of the dangerous, drunk and disorderly Steve "the Fury" Kowalski, who exploded back onto the scene in the IIWF with a quick and telling impromptu victory over Dynamite, sanctioned by the IIWF President, to take his place against Ike Sampson in the Sweet Sixteen. The New Jersey Nightmare clearly hasn't missed a beat in the two months of his suspension, and his arrival last night has sent a buzz throughout the wrestling world, with some bookmakers even going as far as calling him the odds-on favourite, toppling former top pick Brody Thunder. However, Lau's announcement that he will be stepping down as a manager comes as somewhat more of a surprise -- and many observers are wondering what Lau has up his sleeve now. Only time will tell. However, we know very well what is in store for the new tag team incarnation of the Syndicate -- Casey and Claw ended up in a massive brawl with former stablemate tag teams, the Dark Disciples and Pain Inc., prompting the IIWF President to sanction a three-way dance tag match for the Free For All ahead of the main Clash event next Saturday Night. The rules of the match are apparently as follows: two men are legal at any one time, any man can tag in any other man, and once one man is eliminated, the team is eliminated. The last team remaining in the match -- is the winner. The rules of the tournament itself, however, are somewhat more straightforward: wrestlers must win to advance, whether it is by pinfall, submission, countout or disqualification. If there is any kind of draw -- be it a double countout, or double disqualification -- then neither wrestler will advance in the tournament, and whoever they were scheduled to face in the next round advances by default on a bye. And we now have our Sweet Sixteen superstars, folks. The field of contenders for the new IIWF World Heavyweight Championship has been cut in half. In just six days, that field will have been cut in half four more times -- leaving just one man standing, one man having wrestled four gruelling matches in the same night. One man will truly be able to lay claim to the mantle of "Champion" after Coronation Clash, just six days away. Call your local cable operator now to order this incredible event! Well, folks, I'm all out of time for this week's update. The next update will be in two weeks' time, so until then, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, and thanks for calling! --------------------------- OPTION #2: Soundbite Speaks --------------------------- Hey, morons, it's party time for the Soundbite -- no, dammit, it's party time for the entire IIWF. We're all gonna be dancin' to the tune of Steve "the Fury" Kowalski, folks -- and whether you like his attitude or not, this hard-hitting, trash-talking son of a gun from the mean streets of New Jersey is back in the IIWF, and has become the official pick of the Soundbite, the man upon whom I have bestowed the mantle of "The Next Big Thing" -- it's the Fury, baby. It's gotta be the Fury. What an atmosphere last night in that dingy little hole, the Manhattan Centre... the Fury must have felt right at home after hanging out in all those dives for the past two months -- not least that bush league, the ESWP, where he's apparently been shaking off his ring rust this past couple of weeks. But what an atmosphere, folks... the whole IIWF is gonna be dancin' to the beat of skulls gettin' pumped. I tell ya, there's nothing guaranteed to put a smile on the face of Steve Roberts like the sound of the thumbscrews being put on the IIWF's overpaid, underworked suits who sit on their asses in the front offices down in Portland. The past few weeks, though, those guys haven't known what's hit them, as the full force of Kowalski's legal team came down on the IIWF like a ton of bricks, with all kinds of litigation flying around the place. The upshot of it all is that Kowalski has now been fully reinstated, along with receiving a not insubstantial financial settlement, while Acting IIWF President Steve Owens has been released from the organisation, although he will still apparently face an industrial tribunal over allegations of bribery and rigging. Ain't it funny that as soon as ol' Dictator Danny gets wind of the fact that the IIWF's good name is about to be dragged through a very protracted, ugly and damaging court case, he cuts short that long vacation in the Ozarks, or wherever the hell he's been hiding for the past two months nursing that head wound of his, and flies up to IIWF Towers like a shot to drop his right hand man like the worst habit in the world. According to my sources, Prez Dan arrived back in Portland on Wednesday morning in time for a meeting between the teams of lawyers representing the two different sides, after a failed attempt to reach a settlement on Monday morning culminated to an ugly confrontation between Owens and Kowalski. By the end of the day, Owens had been told that when he left the office on Friday evening, he wouldn't be expected to return, and he was handed a large severance pay packet -- which, rumour has it, he will be using to pay his way while he prepares the first draft for an autobiography detailing his tenure with the IIWF. I wonder whether the legal eagles are already preparing to slap an injunction on that little story? In any case, Prez Dan doesn't appear to have been implicated in the allegations levelled by Kowalski's lawyers, and negotiations are said to have proceeded well after the IIWF President himself stepped into the fray. With the IIWF poorer to the tune of several tens of thousands of dollars, and Kowalski fully reinstated, you'd think that the IIWF President would be cursing the efforts of his colleague in his absence, but in fact, sources close to the President say that he is more than happy to have expelled Owens from the IIWF. Apparently, it is now hoped in the upper echelons of the Towers, where the Board of Directors, whose identities remain closely guarded, meet on a weekly basis, that the IIWF will now be able to go forward without the baggage of conspiracy theorists alleging corruption and bribery every two weeks. Although I'll tell you right now -- you offer the Soundbite some wa-wa, and I'll tell you anything you want to hear. Anything. But the bottom line, folks, is that in just six days' time, Steve Kowalski is going to run through the rest of the IIWF like a hot knife through butter. Mark my words. The other fifteen guys may as well not bother turning up at the Fleet Centre next week -- that belt's already got the Fury's name on it. I'm outta here, morons. See ya in Boston! ----------------------- OPTION #3: Can We Talk? ----------------------- EXCLUDING YOURSELF, WHO'S THE NEXT IIWF CHAMPION? MAD DOG WATKINS: "Steve "The Fury" Kowalski. I'm sure the little [bleep] will find a way..." "SHOWSTOPPER" SIMON LEBEC: "Well, we know it's not me!  The thought of "The Showstopper" as Champion makes Spreadbury wet himself!  My pick?  Hmm... I guess you'll have to phone "The Showstooper Line", at 1-800-GROOVIN to find out.  That's right! Calls cost but a meagre $3.99 per minute.  Hear my predictions, hear my take on every IIWF superstar, hear me gargle "Scope" on option #3!  "The Showstopper Line"... CATCH THE ACTION!" HIGHWAYMAN: "Why must I exclude myself?  No matter, suffice to say that the belt is coming to its rightful home... Genesis." DIRT DOG UNIQUE ALLAH: "I 'ont know.  It better be a muhfuhing brotha, though.  You know what I'm sayin'?" LICENSED FOR DEVASTATION: Reggie Starr: That's just dumb, why are ya asking us?! Jonathan Chaos: We just got here, and we're a tag team!  Go away! Reggie Starr: Moron. BILLY SHAKESPEARE: "I would have thought it would have been Creed.  Now I fear that Brody Thunder will make good on his championship promises." STEVE "THE FURY" KOWALSKI: "Well, if it ain't me I can't think of who it should be. Not Brody, hah! Maybe the "Bucher". He's a real mean Nazi. Has this place ever had a pissed Nazi as champ? That'd be a pisser!" DEREK MOTA: "Brody Thunder's gotta be the toughest man in the IIWF next ta me.  But he's a target now, and we've all seen how well targets have done so far in the tourney.  I think Petrow could take it all, if only he would stop playing with his kiwi." SERGE ANNIS: "The next IIWF champion is definitely a man who deserves it... but no one deserves its prestige more than me. But for the record, my bet would have to be one Brody Thunder... that is, _IF_ he can get by me." "QUICKSTRIKE" CHRIS QUIGLEY: "This is a difficult question to answer, but I'd say either Otto Verhoeven or Joe Petrow." MARTY WARNETT: "Well, it sure as hell won't be Steele, unless Lebec interferes in all his bouts..." THE NIGHTRIDERS: J.P. Steele: The next IIWF World champion? Brody Thunder, without a doubt. The man's been paying dues for months and he just plain rules the singles division. Carrying on the cowboy tradition of J.W. Hardin, Brody is the heir to the throne. Jimmy Hawk: Next World champ? It's gotta be little Ronnie Paris! Such heart, such drive... [snickers] aw, my guess is that sleazebag Casey James will regain the gold. He's a cheating two timing [BLEEP], but he's so good at that. IKE SAMPSON: "Gotta be the Mad Dog, baby.  He looks primed.  Buttercup's got the Dog foamin' at the mouth for the gold..." KEVIN "THE CAVALIER" CHRISTIANSEN: "Methinks that of the wrestlers I hath had the chance to see thus far, I wouldst have to say that Duncan Macbeth holds mine vote for the next Champion.  'Tis a rare man that can speak his mind so freely, albeit a bit crassly, and be able to back what one says with one's actions.  Besides... I hast seen those who would wield Claymores, and I know they are fearsome opponents indeed.  Best of luck to thee, sir." RONNIE PARIS: "I honestly thought Lord Byron was going to win it at the start of this thing, but I guess that shows I should stick to wrestling and not predictions. Of the guys left, Brody Thunder looks the hungriest, and being a big man always helps in these kinds of events." SCOTT ROGERS: "If it ain't gonna be me, it'll be the guy who beats me." [click] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Jim Jividen | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | brokeback@webtv.net | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+