[Bruce Springsteen's "Cover Me" plays as shots of each of the superstars who have advanced to the "Sweet Sixteen" in the Coronation Clash Tournament fill the screen:] VO: The dreams of thirty-two.... [Shot of Brody Thunder hitting the Cattle Buster DDT on Kid Ego.] VO: Halved to a slim "Sweet Sixteen"... [Shot of Otto Verhoeven with a lateral press of Chris Quigley.] VO: Sixteen Superstars who will advance to the Fleet Center in Boston, Mass.  Sixteen young and not-so-young men with only the highest of all possible aspirations:  becoming the next IIWF Heavyweight Champion! [Collage of all sixteen men, each poised, each at the ready, each man standing intently.] VO: It is this Saturday Night... and it is Coronation Clash! [The music reaches a crescendo and the opening titles explode on the screen:] ##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-= INTERNATIONAL INTERNET WRESTLING FEDERATION =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= "INSIDE THE IIWF" with Tim Dross Tuesday 8 July 1997 ----------------------------------------------- [Open on an interior shot of the jewel of the New England sports crown, the Fleet Center, the prototype of modern athtletic convenience... where tradition melds with luxury.  The shot moves to the Legends sports restaurant, nestled high above the Fleet Center floor where in matter of days the IIWF will explode on the scene. Seated below a mural representing Boston Celtics past and present are IIWF commentators Tim Dross and Steve "Soundbite" Roberts, the latter wearing his trademark leather jacket over the top of a t-shirt reading:     "The IIWF: No Love. No Learnin'." Dross hungrily eyes a Bobby Orr steak sandwich which has just been placed in front of him as he begins.] TD: Hello friends, welcome to a special Coronation Clash edition of "Inside the IIWF", your weekly look at all the news, views, reviews and previews... highlights and sidelights... cheers and jeers.  A look behind at the week that was and up ahead at what will be here in the finest wrestling Federation in the world today, the _mighty_ IIWF! I am Tim Dross, along with Steve "Soundbite" Roberts, and we are in Legends at the Fleet Center in Boston, Mass. -- home of Rick Pittino and the most storied franchise in all of professional basketball, the Boston Celtics. But it isn't roundball which takes center stage this week. Instead the talk everywhere you go, from Maine to Delaware all the way to Connecticut is about one event and one event only... Coronation Clash! SR: Yeah, there is a definite _buzz_ in the air about this one, Dross, I'd have to admit there ain't nothing like a tournament to get the old juices flowing. TD: Starting to feel those competitive urges, Steve Roberts? SR: Nah, I've just been telling women all week that I can get them ringside seats. TD: Folks, we had another week of unbelievable action from the Manhattan Center in the heart of New York City last week as the Coronation Clash Crusade Tour made its pentultimate stop... we saw the return of President Daniel Spreadbury, the end of maybe the cornerstone of the IIWF, The Syndicate, the elimination from the Coronation Clash Tournament of Chris Quigley... and the reinstatement to active duty of a man who now takes his place as one of the favorites to win the whole thing, Steve "The Fury" Kowalski. Let's take one more look at the results from IIWF Saturday Night. [The Bangles version of "Hazy Shade of Winter" plays over highlights of Steve Kowalski's victory over Danny Dynamite as the results roll:] Steve Kowalski def. Danny Dynamite Otto Verhoeven def. Chris Quigley Joe Petrow def. Billy Shakespeare (DQ) Highwayman def. Nightwing (W/O) Tony Starks def. Mr. Damage Prophets of Rage double countout Harlequins Serge Annis def. Dirt Dog Unique Allah Requiem def. Scott Rogers The Enigma def. The Cavalier Casey James no contest Tiger Claw TD: And with that, friends, we are driven cleanly and neatly here to Boston and our match by match look at the biggest pay-per-view of the summer, Coronation Clash. SR: What the hell are you talking about, "cleanly"?  Damn northeast cops keep pulling me over.  "Mr. Roberts, your tail light is out... Mr. Roberts your license is expired... Mr. Roberts, you have to wear pants while operating a motor vehicle."  What the hell kind of world are we living in, Dross where a man can't tool around the New England in a rented 'Stang, Golden Earring blasting in the tapedeck with his pants around his ankles and the underage daughter of the President of the United States yelling "Shoot, Soundbite! Shoot!"  Answer me that Dross, you son of an unnamed goat!  Answer me that! TD: Let's take a look at all the matches coming up this Saturday Night!  ************************************************************************ --------------------- FIRST LOOK: Coronation Clash --------------------- ************************************************************************ --------------------------------------------- FREE FOR ALL:  Tag Team Triangle Match: Dark Disciples vs. Pain Inc vs. The Syndicate --------------------------------------------- TD: Well, another in a series of bombshells as The Syndicate officially disbanded on IIWF Saturday Night -- Brian Lau has amicably severed ties with Casey James and Tiger Claw, those two men giving up their singles contracts and forming a tag combination.  SR: I knew it all along. TD: No, you did not. SR: I know some things, Dross.  I can name the three classic forms of Greek architecture, the five consecutive future Hall of Famers that New York Giant Carl Hubbell struck out in the 1934 All-Star Game and all six members of the late 80's "New Jack Swing" pioneers New Edition. TD: I'm going to challenge you on that Saturday Night, Steve Roberts. But we're talking about The Syndicate, more specifically this Free For All matchup, which should be a good one.  The Dark Disciples have been butting heads with Pain Inc. since their entrance into the IIWF last year -- but it wasn't until Mr. Mic and his crew joined The Syndicate that relations between these two powerful teams became untenable. Then came "Syndicate Saturday Night" perhaps the most pivotal night in recent IIWF history, on the night where Casey James would go on to have his IIWF Championship stripped away, the Dark Disciples decisively defeated Pain Inc. to retain Syndicate status -- or so they supposed, until James and Claw subsequently shunned them as well, showing them the door in a post-match attack. You have to know that this match will be most explosive, particularly with the stipulations that any man can tag any other man... leading to the possibility that we might actually see that James/Claw encounter after all! It ought to be a good one -- kicking everything off this Saturday Night at the Free For All! --------------------------------- Tag Team Matchups: --------------------------------- IIWF Tag Team Championship Match: Prophets of Rage vs. Cold Spell --------------------------------- Hollywood Bloods vs. Last Resort --------------------------------- TD: We will have further hot tag team action within Coronation Clash itself. SR: That would be the first time. TD: Two tag teams which have distinguished themselves as maybe the two best in the IIWF since their simultaneous arrival in the Fed, Cold Spell and the Prophets of Rage, will meet for the Tag Team Championships. The Prophets have maintained a slender advantage over Fitzgerald and Icehawk since joining the IIWF, with each team establishing quite a won/loss record.  But it has been the Prophets who have done something that has thusfar eluded Cold Spell -- tasted IIWF gold.  The Prophets of Rage have been dominant Tag Champions since beating Pain Inc. in that title consolidation match after Birthday Bash - and they look to continue that this Saturday Night. Cold Spell, on the other hand, has continually seen championships slip through their fingers -- victims to, if not fate, than a well placed cheap shot on innumerable occasions.  However, since joining Genesis, Cold Spell has taken on a certain edginess, maybe an added confidence that might allow them to finally reach their appointed destination this Saturday Night. SR: I ain't gonna pretend I care about this match, Dross, or tag team wrestling in general -- but I am sort of liking that Violence Unlimited bunch, maybe we'll get some quality outside interference in this one. TD: Certainly is always a possibility, we know that Genesis will be in attendance -- and the Age of the Rage as well.   What you do have to worry about is the physical condition of young Icehawk, if Cold Spell has any deficit going into this match, it is one of size, and with Icehawk's mobility a question mark after that vicious attack by Violence Unlimited, they may be at the mercy of the Rages this Saturday Night. The other tag encounter features two of the relatively newer teams in the IIWF, the Hollywood Bloods will now meet the Last Resort -- with the winners of that match moving on to a title shot of their own on July 26. SR: I have no thoughts at all about this match. TD: Well, these are two teams trying to make that step into title contender status, Steve Roberts -- and you'd have to believe the winner here is just going to be the team which wants it the most.  Wayne and Watson have been consistent since entering the IIWF... not overly flashy, but have proven themselves to be solid, reliable competitors.  SR: Who the hell are they?  What's going on around here?  Why can't I just take my pants off now and be done with it? TD: The Last Resort, on the other hand, is perhaps the most... unique, pairing in all the tag ranks.  El Diablo is certainly as bright a wrestler as they come -- but perhaps a shade past his prime. SR: Oughta be wrestling in Atlanta.  Jobbing out to the midgets.  Hey, we should get some midgets, Dross.  Maybe a mini-Creed, "My mini-daddy ran away and my mini-momma was mini-murdered and that's why I'm gonna get my mini-ass kicked by Lord Byron." TD: And his partner is the Masked Avenger, who appears to be possessed with physical skill - and certainly desire - but just does not seem to have the mental ability to harness it in the big match. SR: I know who's under that mask. TD: No, you don't, Steve Roberts. SR: But I do know about the five consecutive future Hall of Famers. TD: We will see, Steve Roberts.  Quality tag team action, folks.  All coming your way this Saturday Night at Coronation Clash.  Call your local cable company today! --------------------------------------- Four Way Dance, Falls Count Anywhere: --------------------------------------- Chris Quigley vs. Billy Shakespeare vs. Marty Warnett vs. Simon Lebec --------------------------------------- TD: A tumultuous couple of months in the lives of these four men, as the rest of the IIWF has become more and more "factionalised" these IIWF superstars have formed what could be considered a "stable" of their own. SR: Hey, cool gimmick, Dross.  Four guys in a stable, they all can't stand each other -- but they're bound by a secret pact that even they appear not to understand.  Jackie Chan, Marlon Wayons, Ron Jeremy and The Mandrell Sisters star in "Hey, You... Gimme Back My Damn Biscuits!" Coming this Christmas to a theater near you... TD: Wow.  Well, they aren't actually in a stable, of course, but they have seemed to have been locked in this type of dance that culminated in the elimination of all four of these men... all four who very much wanted the opportunity to fight for the IIWF Heavyweight Championship, from the Coronation Clash Tournament.  SR: Oh -- like there was a chance in Portland that any one of them could be Champion.  When they meet in this Falls Count Anywhere match, there will be more has-beens in one place than anyone's seen since that Foreigner/REO Speedwagon tour from a couple summers ago. TD: These four men now appear to be ready to tear each other's heads off -- and with the entire Fleet Center as their battlefield, they may get that opportunity.  But I have to wonder what will motivate these men.  Revenge?  Will revenge be enough to survive three other men at the biggest pay-per-view of the summer?  Or something else... maybe it's the man who can best define why he needs this match -- who can best clarify in his own mind the importance of this match in his career who will walk away from the Fleet Center victorious. SR: Well, I'd guess it's because there's a hiring freeze on at the Portland Chippendales.  These guys have to do something to put the quiche on the table. TD: With the animosity riding high, each man blaming the others for his plight, all four men unhappy with their situation -- and with this being a Falls Count Anywhere match... it alone could be worth the price of admission. SR: Are you telling me Falls Count Anywhere? TD: Anywhere. SR: In the locker room? TD: Anywhere. SR: In the restaurant? TD: Anywhere. SR: In the back of my rented 'Stang... a certain First Daughter smothered in a peculiar mixture of raspberry sauce and.... TD: Steve Roberts!  You have got to stop this.  Now, falls can count anywhere -- but anywhere in the arena. SR: Oh -- I see.  It's a Falls Count Anywhere Within A Rigidly Prescribed Radius Match.  Hell, call your local cable company today, folks -- the IIWF is going crazeeee!  We must be maniacs!  Come on, Dross.  Tell the people we _must_ be maniacs... you know, unite the great fans of the IIWF.  One big tent.  One big smelly, poorly constructed, soically irresponsible and borderline schizophrenic tent. TD: It may be all that and more, friends.  Quigley.  Shakespeare. Warnett.  Lebec... Four Way Dance and Falls Count Anywhere.  What a matchup coming your way this Saturday Night! ************************************************************************ ---------------- FIRST LOOK: Coronation Clash Tournament --------------- ************************************************************************ TD: Folks, that is going to bring us to the upper half of the Coronation Clash bracket.  And this is a tournament that has just gotten off the page exciting in recent weeks.  Anticipation is running at a fever pitch as one of sixteen IIWF superstars is set to grab the most exalted prize in this sport -- the IIWF Heavyweight Championship. SR: Well, I do love a good tournament, Dross.  There's nothing that gets this old blood flowing like a good set of brackets.   What?  Why are you people looking at me like that?  Can't I be sincere for one moment without someone wanting me to make a reference to an underage relative to our Commander in Chief? You people disgust me.  Each and every one of you. [The wait staff at the restaurant stops its busy early evening duty... exhorting Roberts with the customary "Shoot, Soundbite! Shoot!"] SR: Morons. TD: Well, I too must admit that this Saturday Night has been an evening to which I have been looking foward, perhaps more than any other in my time with the IIWF, Steve Roberts.  It is the culmination of so much work, so much effort by so many people -- that there will be just a tremendous sense of gratification that I will personally feel when it gets all pulled together. SR: Aw, you're just a sensitive little guy, aren't you, Dross?  Would you like me to throw quarters off your forehead?  TD: I would have assumed you were out of change. SR: Are you kiddin' me?  I'm on expense account, baby.  Livin' high on the hog.  Little side deal I made with President Steve before the trip. TD: And with Steve Owens having been let go... you're not afraid of the impact this might have on your "arrangement"? SR: I... I gotta make a call. TD: After the show, Steve Roberts.  We are about to take our _First Look_ at Groups A and B... the upper half of the Coronation Clash Tournament bracket. ------------------------------------------- Group A: ------------------------------------------- "Enigma" Takezo Musashi vs. Mad Dog Watkins Steve "the Fury" Kowalski vs. Ike Sampson ------------------------------------------- TD: Well, the story here is the improbable, stunning return to the IIWF of the "Next Big Thing", Steve "the Fury" Kowalski who shocked fans from coast-to-coast by having his suspension lifted... and then doing some lifting of his own, lifting Danny Dynamite right out of the "Sweet Sixteen". SR: It's the Fury, baby.  Lock me up and hide the key, OEOEO, you are talking about the next Heavyweight Champion of the World. TD: Steve Kowalski certainly has changed the entire complexion of Group A -- and now talented, but young Ike Sampson is a decided underdog against the Heatseeker. SR: Underdog?  Hell, Dross, that's like saying that steak sandwich is an underdog against your digestive system.  Sampson's gonna get eaten with A-! sauce and a double... make that a triple order or curly fries. Damn, Dross -- I thought you were on that Deal-A-Meal plan. TD: No, Soundbite.  I only bought those Richard Simmons tapes for you. SR: Hah!  I love it!  Dross gets chippy pay-per-view week!  Shoot on, Timmy!  I guess your little "encounter" with Requiem on Saturday Night has stirred you up a little bit. TD: Who? SR: Shoot, Dross! Shoot! Shoot, Dross! Shoot! TD: [smiling] The first match of the Coronation Clash card looks to be Mad Dog Watkins against the Enigma... and what a way to kick off an evening of action. SR: Musashi's lost it, Dross.  His little choo-choo has gone chugging right off the track.  I don't know what the hell was going on with him and Petrow and that moron Brad Daugherty guy... TD: You're referring to Kevin "The Cavalier" Christiansen, and his remarkable decision to break the camel clutch. SR: Details.  The point is that the nutbar is in the "Sweet Sixteen" and I would want to go anywhere near him.  He's off his rails, Dross. He's out of control.  TD: But Mad Dog Watkins is nothing if not always in control, Steve Roberts -- and that's what makes this an ever so intriguing matchup. In fact, a look to the "Elite Eight" presents a number of potentially fascinating matchups.  What if we see a battle of stablemates Watkins and Sampson?  Or how about Watkins vs. Kowalski -- those are two men with a long and fairly ambiguous history with one another.  Maybe, maybe we'll see the Enigma against the Fury -- and that's an "Elite Eight" match that could go absolutely anywhere.. It is Group A, folks... and it is a doozy! ----------------------------------------------- Group B: ----------------------------------------------- Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven vs. Duncan Macbeth "Sychosys" Joe Petrow vs. Derek Mota ----------------------------------------------- TD: All sixteen men want to wear that big belt, Steve Roberts... but only two have actually been able to call themselves IIWF Heavyweight Champion -- and that has to give them an advantage going into a tournament like this. Otto "The Butcher" Verhoeven is one of those men... and he has certainly shown a return to vicious form, brutally attacking Creed last Wednesday... and then, in what may have been the biggest victory he has had since winning the IIWF Heavyweight Championship -- Otto Verhoeven defeated Chris Quigley. SR: Enjoying the canvas, Chrissie?  Does it feel cool against your small, poorly developed shoulders? TD: And Otto will have revenge on his mind when he meets the youngster Macbeth.  Remeber it was the Scotsman who shockingly defeated the Butcher on IIWF Saturday Night prior to Birthday Bash -- and with this new, this behemoth apparently associated with Macbeth -- he will give the Butcher all he can handle. SR: No he won't, Dross.  If the Fury don't get it done... then it is Otto time.  He is the strongest, the baddest man in the IIWF and I know for a fact that he's been looking to slip the big Wa-Wa around his waist again for a long time. So long, Scottie... beam yourself back to the minor leagues. TD: We will then see what should be a tremendously fast paced, entrtaining cruiserweight matchup between two men of wildly divergent personalities, Joe Petrow and Derek Mota. SR: I thought you just meant Petrow.  The guy has wildly divergent personalities living inside him, Dross.  Not to mention Maurice.  Enjoy the quarters, Maurice -- it's the most money you'll ever make from a wrestling match! TD: Joe Petrow certainly has won some enormous matches in the IIWF, maybe none bigger than his defeat of Billy Shakespeare on Saturday Night.  And now he moves on... this man who returned to wrestling after a long sabbatical with the hopes of getting to this very moment -- a chance to win the IIWF Championship.  And what about his opponent... Derek Mota, a man who presents matchup problems with wreslters big and small -- but a man who suffered greatly at the hands of Requiem, the Highwayman and Genesis just two weeks ago... a man laid up due to attack.  You have to wonder, Steve Roberts... you have to wonder if Derek Mota will be able to withstand the pounding that any man would have to go through to win four matches on one night -- and become Heavyweight Champion. SR: Nah, no chance.  You know, you are right about something Dross -- the morons out there have to remember that this is a tournament... it ain't about one freak inside cradle.  You have to be fit, you have to be smart... you have to be the luckiest guy in the building to make it through four other guys in one night.  TD: It is a test of endurance as much as anything else, Steve Roberts. And what about those possible elite eight matchups... will we see old hostilities resume between Derek Mota and Duncan Macbeth?  How about a match between Otto Verhoeven and Joe Petrow?  Wouldn't that be something, Steve Roberts? SR: It would be something to see the Butcher break Petrow's back like he did Creed's, Dross.  I'll tell you that. TD: All right, Steve Roberts... that is the upper half of the bracket for Coronation Clash.  Eight men... two will advance to the final four -- who are they? SR: Kowalski.  Verhoeven.  Easy. TD: You think it will be as simple as that, do you, Steve Roberts? SR: Easier... there ain't a guy in the entire tournament who can match up with the Fury and the Butcher.  Kowalski's got the heat -- and Otto's got the experience -- you throw out the entire bottom half of the draw and just make this the final match.  Kowalski vs. Verhoeven for all the nuts in the candy store, Dross.   That's what I call wrestling. TD: Well, it is entirely possible, Steve Roberts.  Entirely possible. For my money I'd like to suggest a couple of other names... a man like Mad Dog Watkins, a veteran who can pace himself, who has a great deal of Iron Man match experience might just be the pick here. And in Group B -- watch Joe Petrow... he may well be certifiable. I wouldn't be the one to stand up for him at the sanity hearing, but he is as good as anyone you'll ever want to go up against... and if ever there was a forum where he could pull out every trick in the book -- it might well be Coronation Clash!   That's the top half of the bracket, folks, Group A and Group B -- eight men who will become one... one who will advance to the finals for the right to become IIWF heavyweight Champion.  Call your local cable company today! ---------------------------------- Creed vs. Byron III IIWF Intercontinental Championship Loser.  Leaves.  Town. ---------------------------------- TD: Well, nothing more needs to be said. SR: Oh, yes it does, Dross.  This punk Creed has been on my nerves for months now... you know, I used to sort of like the kid -- never said a word, chokeslammed antelopes -- made fun of the Venusian Death Cell.  TD: I believe the phrase was "the only thing that has changed about you is your name." SR: Yeah, good stuff.  But now the kid just flat sucks... just flat sucks with his little red glove and his dead mother and his Creedplex. What the hell sort of ego is that, Dross?  Creedplex? TD: He certainly is a young man who is not lacking in confidence.  As could be said for Lord Byron -- and that's really why this match is so explosive... so intriguing -- so potentially amazing.  Each of these men is riding a wave of success that is virtually unparalleled in the IIWF. Creed is coming off a fifteen-match unbeaten streak, and hadn't suffered a pinfall defeat during his IIWF tenure until his shocking opening tournament loss at the hands of Ike Sampson... a loss that Lord Byron played no small role in causing. And Lord Byron -- Lord Byron may well be the finest... forget the technical part, friends, Lord Byron may be the finest wrestler in the world today -- his Intercontinental Championship reign has been nothing short of astounding as he has amassed a truly, truly remarkable winning percentage here in the IIWF.  SR: He's the man.  See, that's what I like about you, Dross... well, that and the fact you know every Waffle House from here to Bimini... you ain't afraid to tell it like it is -- and admit it -- admit it right now to all these people -- Lord Byron is just flat better than this overrated rookie loser Creed. TD: Lord Byron certainly takes a backstep to no one, Steve Roberts. But it was a January loss to Creed... a shocking pinfall defeat that really has kicked the careers of both of these men into overdrive.  With one super flying powerbomb, Creed and Byron seemed put on a path toward this moment... toward this weekend when one of them will walk out of the arena the IIWF Intercontinental Champion -- and the other will leave the IIWF forever. SR: Anyone want a slightly used red glove? TD: It is sure to be a powerfully emotional scene, Steve Roberts.  Two of the most talented performers in the history of the IIWF -- battling in a Loser Leaves Town Match -- and it all comes your way this Saturday Night -- at Coronation Clash!  What a spectacular! SR: Maybe Byron will give the crippled punk his cane as a souvenir. Right between the eyes! ----------------------------- Group C ----------------------------- Deathbringer vs. Tony Starks Brody Thunder vs. Serge Annis ----------------------------- TD: Lower half of the bracket, Steve Roberts.  And in Group C we find a former IIWF Champion and one half of the Unholy Alliance -- Deathbringer. SR: God do I hate the lower half of the bracket, Dross.  What the hell happened to the IIWF -- we used to have a dozen guys that would kick your ass and then draw you a picture of it.  Now... now we have Tony Starks. Why can't we just go back to the old days... go back to the way things were last Summer... oh, last Summer. TD: Well, those were certainly good days, Steve Roberts.  But the time marches on -- and we have some great matches in Group C.  In fact, Deathbringer vs. Tony Starks does have a bit of a "Back to the Future" feel to it. SR: Yeah, it'll take 1.21 jigowatts of power just to wake me up during one of those Starks rest holds.  The only thing that could be worse was if Luke Steele had made the tournament.  Oh... wait... TD: Well, Deathbringer and Tony Starks are clearly "Old Generation" and proud of it, Steve Roberts.  In fact, these two men are the last two men who remain in the tournament who competed in last year's Coronation Clash.  You might say that this match has a certain degree of respect attached to it -- this match might be to determine who is the pre-eminent member of the "Old Guard" in the IIWF. SR: Outlaw gonna come down and kick all y'alls asses.  TD: Now Steve, you know J.W. Hardin is in Europe working on his autobiography.  I showed you the newspaper photograph just today with a picture of J.W. squaring famed skater Katarina Witt around Munich just this weekend.  There is no possible way that J.W. Hardin interfered in the Starks/Damage match on Saturday.  SR: No way? TD: None. SR: Limousine ridin'? TD: Nope. SR: Jet plane flyin'? TD: Not at the speed of sound. SR: 1.21 jigowatts powering the flux capacitor, the device which makes time travel possible? TD: The other match features Brody Thunder -- a man who many feel should have become the IIWF Champion months ago... and he will take on the other half of the Unholy alliance -- Serge Annis. SR: I happen to know personally that J.W. Hardin would disapprove the path that this punk Thunder has taken.  He coulda been somebody special... someone like, I don't know... someone like J.W. Hardin or myself.  But what does he do -- he turns his back on the Syndicate. Turns his back on the next IIWF Tag Team Champions, Casey James and Tiger Claw.  And now, the big man with the Zippo lighter is gonna go postal on him, Dross.  It'll be excellent. TD: Serge Annis has certainly showed a remarkable upswing in fortune lately, defeating Cruiserweight Champion Dirt Dog Unique Allah on Saturday Night to advance... but I have got to tell you that he is in for something totally different when he meets Brody Thunder this week.  SR: Isn't Thunder drinkin' again, Dross? TD: Brody Thunder does not have a drinking problem!  SR: No, he ain't got no problem.  My sources say he's got it down pat... my sources say he could go pro... my sources say that Brody Thunder is the Michael Jordan of boozing.  Thunder... from the top of the bottle... Yes!  And it counts! TD: Outrageous, Steve Roberts.  Outrageous. SR: So, what kind of loser match do we get in the "Figure Eight?" TD: Well, we could see the Unholy Alliance hook it up.  That would certainly be something.  What about if Deathbringer met Brody Thunder -- talk about a clash of styles!  You have got to believe that when all of these four ring veterans hit Group C on Saturday Night, that the rafters will be shaking in the Fleet Center in Boston, Mass.! SR: I think Thunder's doing some shaking of his own, maybe a little swaying to the beat of the devil's juice, Dross.  Our own version of Otis from Mayberry... hey, maybe Unique can give him some pointers! TD: It's Group C -- and it will explode this Saturday Night!  --------------------------- Group D --------------------------- Ronnie Paris vs. Highwayman Requiem vs. Luke Steele --------------------------- TD: And finally, we move to Group D.  Where two stables themselves will hook up.  Requiem meets Luke Steele -- and the Highwayman battles Ronnie Paris. SR: Yahtzee! TD: I beg your pardon? SR: That's what I'd rather be playing than watching Group D, Dross. Yahtzee.  Chutes & Ladders.  Candyland.  Operation -- "Take out his spare ribs for 100 dollars".  I'd rather be doing damn near anything than watching Group D. TD: Well, I don't believe that your feelings are representative of the balance of IIWF fans, Steve Roberts.  We have here Genesis, perhaps the most-talked about stable to come along in the IIWF since the birth of the Syndicate.  They have wracked up a body count second to none... and have managed to, amazingly enough, alienate competitors as diverse as Marty Warnett, Subway Psycho and Casey James.  And you ain't real fond of them either, Steve Roberts. SR: Well, the Sugar Hill Gang doesn't so much bother me as I can't figure out what they want.  Sometimes they cheat -- sometimes they don't.  Sometimes they punk the hell out of the Subway Psycho... sometimes they get in the face of a great champion like Casey James -- and until I can figure out Lipps, Inc. -- I ain't talking about them. TD: Well, IIWF fans have certainly been talking about Genesis, and two men who will find out why this Saturday Night are Ronnie Paris and Luke Steele.  SR: I don't know what I have to do to please these guys, Dross.  I call them the Jobber Justice Squad... people complain.  I call them White Flight... people complain.  I mean, who the hell cares about Ronnie Paris and "Why Can't I Turn Heel" Luke Steele?  I'd almsot rather see those NLWP guys make the pay-per-view. TD: Really? SR: God no.  White Flight might be scrubs... but they're our scrubs!! TD: Well, Ronnie Paris certainly goes into this match with as much dislike of Genesis as has anyone, he has his own feud going with Nightwing... who frankly I believe has left the IIWF, although no final word has been given, and he is a man who will put up quite a fight against that huge Highwyaman. SR: I hear from our friend Summer that Paris is finally gonna make an honest woman out of that prostitute he's been shacking up with.  He'd damn well better beat Dead Guy #2, or he'll never be able to afford that hourly rate after a half dozen years.  TD: Yes, Ronnie and Maggie will be getting married apparently on the 17th of this month. But there will be no love lost at all when Requiem meets Luke Steele -- the de facto leader of Genesis taking on a man who is probably the dark horse, the Cinderella, if you will in this year's Sweet Sixteen, and a man about whom we shall hear a great deal more in today's "Up Close And Personal." And the possibilities for the Elite Eight... well, that's pretty clear. We could see a Genesis vs. Genesis matchup that would perhaps bring an end to that friendship... we could well see Paris against Luke Steele.  You know the motto of the IIWF:  Everything Will Happen! SR: Nah, check the t-shirt, Dross.  The motto of the IIWF is: "No Love.  No Learnin'." Pay attention, baby. TD: So, there's the bottom half of the bracket.  Your thoughts, Steve Roberts. SR: I'm looking for maybe some injuries... maybe a weather balloon to crash into the arena.  Anything so none of these losers gets to the finals.  It's Kowalski and Otto... I'm telling you it's Kowalski and Otto... and maybe the Outlaw, if he can tear himself away from that fine piece of German skater ass he's got going for himself. TD: Well, I'll tell you, Steve Roberts -- I think this is a wide, wide open field.  You certainly have to like Brody Thunder... but I wouldn't be at all surprised to see an upset or two emerge from this half of the draw... I wouldn't be at all surprised to see a man like the Highwayman... or Requiem... or maybe even the former Heavyweight Champion Deathbringer get on the kind of roll it takes to sweep through to the finals.  SR: Well, I sure would be surprised.  I'd be surprised if the IIWF fans don't revolt at the passing of the lower bracket as worth their hard earned 7 dollars. TD: $29.95. SR: Shameless.  Absolutely shameless.  TD: Where do you think that expense account money comes from, Steve Roberts? SR: Thunder!  Paris!  Billy Shakespeare!  Call your local cable company today! ************************************************************************ ------------ UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL: "Real Deal" Luke Steele ------------ ************************************************************************ [The camera shows Luke Steele in his Coronation Clash tournament match against Marty Warnett, piledriving him into the mat.  A slow motion shot of more offense against the Party Maniac leads into Larry Morton's voiceover.] LM: Snow Brawl, December 1996. [A slow motion shot of Luke Steele ducking a spinwheel kick from "Jackhammer" J.P. Steele comes across the screen, followed by Steele hitting the Real Steele Press.  A freeze frame shot of Steele signing the IIWF contract comes across the screen.] LM: An amazing contract war between two men named Steele, with only one able to continue on in the IIWF.  In the end, it was the name known as the "Real Deal" who came out victorious.  But since then, Luke has never realized the potential of his once bright looking future... [Clips of Steele losing to Mr. Damage, Mad Dog Watkins, and Brody Thunder fly by, one after another.  A shot of Steele's face in a tight closeup, with Steele himself deep in frustration.] LM: Steele and Ronnie Paris engaged in a memorable fued with each other, despite both being popular with the fans and both causing the other to lose ground on the top contendors... [The camera shows clips of encounters between Ronnie and Luke, leading up to the final match where Spur intervenes, throwing in the towel on Steele.] LM: A month ago it would have seemed that Luke Steele was merely a couple of losses away from becoming just another footnote on the IIWF Roll of Honour, the next Sabin Figaro.  And then something happened that would change not only Luke Steele, but the IIWF forever... [A clip of the group known as Genesis fills the screen, followed by quick video footage of sneak attacks by Nightwing, Requiem, and the Highwayman. A black and white picture of the entire stable rips in half, and a shot of Luke Steele's encounter with Genesis.] LM: Requiem's new generation of superstars were quick to single Luke out, and seemed to offer him membership in the exclusive group.  But Steele showed his true heart by turning them down, and instead banded together with his old nemesis Ronnie Paris and newcomer Scott Rogers... [Scenes depicting Steele, Paris, and Rogers in matches interrupted by Genesis, and full scale brawls between the factions.] LM: Only now has Luke Steele started to show the intensity that got him into the IIWF, and it couldn't have come at a better time.  The IIWF Championship Tournament has kicked into full gear, and two weeks ago in front of a hometown crowd the unthinkable occured... [In slow motion black and white the clip of Steele pinning Marty Warnett to advance in the tournament rolls.] LM: Of the sixteen men remaining in the tournament, perhaps none is a bigger longshot to win than Luke Steele.  I recently had a chance to sit down with the self-professed "Real Deal", and among other things he had some surprising revelations about his brief career before the IIWF as well as his hopes and plans for the future. [A fade brings the camera into IIWF studios, eclipsed in darkness. Illuminated in a corner are two chairs, with the backdrop of an IIWF logo shining against the brick wall with a special light.  One man is seen at first, and it is Larry Morton.  The camera pulls back and another, Luke Steele, is seen wearing a t-shirt that reads "IIWF is Steeletown", and a pair of blue jeans.] LM: Luke, I'd like to start off with the story of your beginnings in pro wrestling.  Not much is really known about you, despite the fact that you've competed here in the IIWF for over six months. LS: Well, that's true, Larry.  I pride myself on being a fairly private person, but not to the point where it begins to overshadow my abilities and reputation inside the ring.  I got my start in wrestling in a little known promotion called the IWS, or so I tried.  No sooner had I signed on the dotted line did the promotion fold, before I had my first match. LM: Well, even though you never competed there should probably be at least a few fans that remember you from back then, shouldn't there? LS: No Larry, and for a good reason.  As I said I never wrestled there, but more importantly I wasn't even billed under my own name.  I was given a name unilaterally by the presiding head honcho, and that name was Shane Stevens.  They dyed my hair an ungodly shade of blonde, we're talking peroxide here. LM: Shane Stevens, now that name I've heard of.  That was you? LS: Yes, but I wasn't alone there.  Kevin Elliott, a friend of mine who is no longer competing, went in and was given the name Propane.  The whole deal was that I was the resident pretty boy of the league, and he was the big bad seven foot brawler.  That idea sound familiar?  What was really the biggest wrinkle in their plans was that Kevin wasn't even seven feet, barely six foot eight.  Anyways, from there we went to NICW where we were given an even stupider persona, believe it or not we were known as the Dukes of Hazzard. LM: As in the 1970s and 80s TV show, that Dukes of Hazzard? LS: Right.  I was Luke Duke, and "Propane" was Bo.  Finally, after floundering there for a while and even having a manager named Daisy we managed to convince the promoters that changing our names to the Wild Mustangs would be in the best interest of the league's pocketbooks, always the bottom line.  I was right, and we went out and won the NICW world tag titles soon after. LM: Well then why don't you list that as a title you've won on your resume? LS: Because we were stripped of the titles after unfairly having the number one contendership taken away from us.  We left, and that's when I decided that if I was ever to go anywhere as a wrestler, I'd have to do it on my own.  I don't recognize myself as ever having won that title, and neither does the NICW from what I understand.  Kevin and I agreed to part ways, and I applied for a membership in the IIWF.  The rest, as they say, is history. LM: You entered the league after defeating J.P. Steele in a "Winner Gets a Contract" match, but then soon fell on hard times in your match endeavours. Tough losses to Mr. Damage and Brody Thunder early on dropped you in the rankings, and you haven't pulled out of the basement since then.  How do you feel about this? LS: I have to be honest with you, Larry, I personally think it stinks.  I go out and tried what I thought was my best every time, and each time I either got a loss or a screwy win.  I've still never won fairly to my recollection, thanks to Simon Lebec not even my tournament win against Marty Warnett. LM: That's true, but you don't seem to let it get you down.  Your enthusiasm is at an all-time high, and that's really saying something about your mental toughness.  But honestly, what do you feel your chances are to walk out Saturday Night as the World Champion? LS: I would have to say that if I can get by Requiem, and give it all I've got, then I've got as good a chance as anyone else.  Everyone left has to win twice to get to the final four man match, and then we're all in the same boat in the final.  Whoever wins the title will deserve it, and I plan on being there right till the end. LM: You face Requiem in the next round, and he is the leader of Genesis. You have to be concerned with the other members of Genesis as well. LS: Always Larry, always.  But with Ronnie and Scott backing me up, they won't pose a problem.  I trust these two with my life, they've proven to be friends to the end. LM: Even Scott Rogers, who sat by and watched you get hammered one time, and didn't lift a finger to help until Ronnie Paris also came out? LS: Scott had his head in the clouds that night, but I don't hold it against him.  I plan to go out and fight the match of my career against Requiem, and then I'll do it again twice more to walk away with the gold. LM: But you said it yourself, despite all the times you've tried you haven't ever won a match on your own.  How is this different? LS: I've got a new attitude, and I'm thinking clearer than ever.  That night in Cleveland a new Luke Steele was born and even if the Showstopper hadn't interfered I'd have gone to the next round.  You saw the match, I was on top of my game, wasn't I? LM: You were able to match well with Marty, I'll say that.  Speaking of which, he had some tough words for you on the Hotline this weekend. LS: I know, and I don't blame him one bit.  He feels that he was cheated, and he is absolutely right.  But understand this, I didn't cheat him, Simon Lebec did.  I don't agree with it, and I've stated that I'll give Marty the first title shot if I should win the title. LM: As a final note, what do you forsee for yourself in a year's time? Will you still be here in the IIWF? LS: Absolutely, Larry, I'm not leaving the IIWF until I've had a chance to wear the World title and show everyone what the Real Deal is made of.  By then hopefully I'll be celebrating my one year anniversary of the King of Wrestling crown, and Genesis will be a faded memory. LM: Thank you for your time, Luke, you've given the wrestling world a new star to seriously think about. [Fade out on Larry Morton and Luke Steele shaking hands.] ************************************************************************ ----------------------- IIWF SINGLES RANKINGS ------------------------ ************************************************************************ as at 5/7/97 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Vacant - - - - - - (WC) WC Lord Byron H 28 22 6 0 79% (IC) IC Dirt Dog Unique Allah N 23 13 8 2 61% (CW) CW ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Highwayman F 17 13 4 0 77% (2) 1 Steve "the Fury" Kowalski H 22 16 6 0 73% (-) 2 Requiem F 13 8 2 3 73% (8) 3 Deathbringer H 37 25 9 3 72% (3) 4 Otto Verhoeven H 39 26 10 3 71% (5) 5 "Enigma" Takezo Musashi F 35 25 10 0 71% (4) 6 Creed N 20 13 5 2 70% (6) 7 Duncan Macbeth N 10 7 3 0 70% (7) 8 Mad Dog Watkins H 19 12 5 2 69% (9) 9 "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder H 27 17 8 2 67% (10) 10 Ike Sampson F 9 6 3 0 67% (12) 11 Scott Rogers F 6 4 2 0 67% (1) 12 Billy Shakespeare F 44 27 15 2 64% (13) 13 "Sychosys" Joe Petrow N 21 12 6 3 64% (15) 14 Chris Quigley F 34 20 11 3 63% (14) 15 Nightwing F 16 10 6 0 63% (11) 16 Marty Warnett F 44 26 17 1 60% (16) 17 Derek Mota H 15 8 5 2 60% (17) 18 Casey "Blackheart" James H 43 23 17 3 57% (18) 19 Ronnie Paris F 21 12 9 0 57% (20) 20 Mr. Damage H 36 20 16 0 56% (19) 21 "Real Deal" Luke Steele F 16 9 7 0 56% (21) 22 Serge Annis N 19 9 8 2 53% (23) 23 Tiger Claw H 52 25 25 2 50% (22) 24 Tony Starks F 10 5 5 0 50% (24) 25 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Showstopper" Simon Lebec H 4 2 2 0 50% (26) 26 Kevin Christiansen F 2 1 1 0 50% (25) 27 "Dangerous" Danny Dynamite H 5 2 3 0 40% (27) 28 ------------------------------- injured -------------------------------- Subway Psycho F 37 24 10 3 69% (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************ ----------------------- IIWF TAG TEAM RANKINGS ----------------------- ************************************************************************ as at 5/7/97 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Name of team F/H Fought W L D Win% Ranking (old) new ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Prophets of Rage H 15 11 2 2 80% (WT) WT ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Cold Spell F 14 10 4 0 72% (1) 1 The Last Resort F 7 5 2 0 71% (2) 2 Violence Unlimited N 6 4 2 0 67% (3) 3 The Harlequins N 16 9 5 2 63% (4) 4 Dark Disciples H 22 12 8 2 59% (5) 5 Hollywood Bloods H 15 8 6 1 57% (6) 6 Pain Inc. H 28 15 12 1 56% (7) 7 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Nightriders F 1 1 0 0 100% (8) 8 The Machines N 1 1 0 0 100% (9) 9 Team Sychosys N 3 2 1 0 67% (10) 10 Licensed for Devastation H 1 0 1 0 0% (11) 11 ------------------------- on leave / suspended ------------------------- High Plains Drifters H 36 20 15 1 57% (-) - The Zodiac Connection F 30 13 17 0 43% (-) - ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ************************************************************************ ------------- COMING FRIDAY: Countdown to Saturday Night ------------- ************************************************************************ TD: Well, that's all the time we have tonight, folks, I'm about to go to town on this sandwich.. SR: And I'm considering the removal of my pants. TD: We are only five fays away, folks... five days away from seeing the debut of the Syndicate as a tag team... five days away from Cold Spell's shot at the IIWF Tag Team gold... five days away from that Falls Count Anywhere Four Way Dance... five days away from the potential "match of the year": Creed/Byron 3 -- Loser. Leaves. Town... And folks, we are five days away from the crowning of the most prestigious title in all of sport.  Five days away from a new IIWF Heavyweight Champion. It is the Fleet Center.  It is Coronation Clash.  Tune into "Countdown" this Friday, friends. Larry Morton and apparently a mystery new commentator will set you up for all the great action... and then it will be Steve Roberts and myself, live for four hours of the biggest pay-per-view of the summer! For Steve Roberts and all of us here at "Inside the IIWF" -- I am Tim Dross saying... good night, everybody! [Carly Simon's "You Belong To Me" plays as Dross dives into his steak sandwich, the Soundbite leaping atop the bar and beginning to baffle a small group of Japanese businessmen with what appears to be a striptease... the Soundbite casting off his "No Love.  No Learnin'" t-shirt as the shot fades.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Jim Jividen | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | brokeback@webtv.net | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+