[Air raid sirens split the silence.  A spotlight swirls, alternatly revealing Brody Thunder, Otto Verhoevan, Kevin Christiansen, Mr. Damage amoung others dressed in camoflage.  The shot shifts to a model of the IIWF towers, and to the familiar whistle of a falling bomb, the tower explodes into a pyrotechnic fireball.  Through the blaze appears the IIWF logo:]                 #####      ######   ###            ##########              ########## ########## ####       ##  ##########              ########## ########## ####  #   #### ########                #####      #####    #### ##  ##### ####                 ####       ####    #### ### ####  ####                 ####       ####    ############# #########                 ####       ####     ########### #########                 ####       ####     ####  ####   ####              #########  #########   ###   ####   ####              #########  #########   ###    ##    ####               ########   ########   ##      #    ####              =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-=              ///  W E D N E S D A Y  +  W A R   R O O M  \\\              =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=                   * LiVE! * from The IIWF Hall Of Fame                       IIWF Towers, Portland, Oregon              ----------------- 23 July 1997 ----------------- [The camera pans past glass cabinets housing items of IIWF past lore:  An Elvis lamp, A blow-up doll, Stud Stetson's "Superstar" belt, "Louie the Ninja's" mask. In a clearing amoung these trophy cases sit Larry Morton and Becky LaRue.] LM: Welcome to our new broadcast facilities, right here in the heart of     the Hall of Fame wing of IIWF Towers.  We'll be recapping the action     from IIWF "House Shows" in and around the Portland Area.  BL: New surroundings, same old co-host.  I guess you could say that this     is "Part 1." LM: Part 1? BL: Of Larry Morton gets abused by someone with the initials "B.L."  It's Brian Lau on Friday. LM: Yes, um, well.  It's almost as bad as when I got stood up for Senior     Prom by Betty Lewendowski.  Or when Brad Lewis kept stealing my lunch money in third grade... BL: As Larry relives his most painful moments, I'll remind you we have a     new heavyweight Champion:  Requiem and his "Music of the     Unintentionally Out-of-tune." LM: Is this the beginning for Genesis? BL: That from the Department of Redundency Department. LM: A suprise I'd say.  But not so much to Roger Fletton who won the     Tournament Challenge. BL: What is up with that Roger?   Where are the matches we WANT to see?     Steve Summer versus The Smooth?  Steve Roberts battling his massive     Ego?  Tim Dross going two out of three with his hairpiece?  If I     wanted to see Simon Lebec in a dog collar I'd rent "Simon Does The     American Kennel Club" again. LM: Yes, well, I see a lot of action... BL: No you don't. LM: ...for Saturday.  And we saw a lot of... great wrestling... today too. BL: You expect me to care?  If you recall, I was left off the announce     team for Coronation Clash. LM: Yes, what exactly _were_ you doing in the shower? BL: I'll leave that to your fantasies.  No, wait, check that, leave me out of your fantasies.   It's bad enough that Marty Warnett saw me. I feel so unclean. LM: You were supposed to be manning the hotlines. BL: After the fifteenth phone call from North Carolina asking what Billy     Shakespeare's shoe-size is, I had to get out of there. LM: Curious, I thought you'd be a natural at answering 900 numbers... BL: Why Larry, you made a joke. LM: Contrary to popular belief, I _do_ have a sense of humor. BL: See there, you made another one. LM: I think we should get to the War Room Recap... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Joe Petrow vs. Scott "the Whine" Bloom ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [Flashbacks of action from Coronation Clash are interspursed with voiceovers by Sparkplug Lee, over a dark, shadowy figure in the background, gradually getting closer and closer to it.] SL: From the very beginning, he was destined to be... different... from     other men. [Petrow's highlight spot with Derek Mota.] TD: ASSPUMP FROM THE TOP ROPE! SR: Oh, someone call a paramedic. SL: A master of mind games, over others... [Cut to scene of Petrow holding himself at the mercy of Takezo Musashi, and Musashi pulling the bell away at the last second and sprinting down the aisle, seemingly against his own will] TD: Wow.  That was quite a, quite a scene, Steve Roberts. SL: ...himself... [An exhausted Petrow hoisting the 268 pound Steve Kowalski in the air into a reverse crucifix slam] TD: KNIGHTMARE!  KNIGHTMARE!  JOE PETROW HAS HIT THE KNIGHTMARE!! SL: ...and the physical laws of the universe. [The fateful moment when an object falls from the sky...] TD: What the hell was that?  Something just hit Joe Petrow! SL: On July 12th, the destiny was fulfilled. [Shot of Sychosys standing on the top turnbuckle, holding the IIWF World's Heavyweight Championship belt high in the air] TD: Oh my goodness!  It is over, Steve Roberts!  It is over!  We have a     new IIWF World Heavyweight Champion! [Cut to a shot of Petrow being carried away by his fans.] SR: [sobbing] I cannot believe it, Dross! TD: And now, the Sychopaths -- grabbing Petrow, carrying him on their     shoulders... carrying him away on their shoulders! SL: On that night. Joe Petrow became... [A lightning bolt strikes.  In the brief glow of the light, the shadowy figure is recognized as Joe Petrow, sweat dripping down his body. a firm, determined expression on his face, and a vaguely familiar belt over his shoulder, before once again being consumed by darkness.] SL: ...champion of the IIWF. [Fade]     Petrow entered the ring rather suprisingly from backstage, Maurice     MacArthur beside him dressed in a suit.  As he entered, Petrow     hoisted high one of the now defunct United States tag belts,     drawing an appreciative pop from his ringside "Sychopaths".  Bloom     complained that this wasn't a tag match.  At the bell, the two locked up in usual fashion, but it wasn't long before the man who almost won the Heavyweight World Championship nailed his opponant with the Knightmare crucifix slam.  But Petrow didn't cover Bloom, instead dragging him to his feet and finishing him off with the devastating "Late Card", Bloom's own finisher. RESULT: Petrow by Pinfall. BL: Ouch. That "Late Card" will finish you off for good. LM: I'm not sure what the belt waiving was all about. BL: Maybe he wanted to punctuate the fact that he is the number one     contender? LM: Are you sure?  Maybe he and Triple M will be getting back into the tag ranks. BL: I repeat:  Maybe he wanted to punctuate the fact that he is the number one contender. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Sebastian Jericho vs. "Nifty" Ned Norton ------------------------------------------------------------------------     [The camera fades in on the dressing room of Sebastian Jericho. He is sitting on a wooden bench, suiting up for his matchup with "Nifty" Ned Norton. The lights are relatively dimmed, sort of a subduing feel is given off. Sebastian is in his usual ring attire of a black singlet, complete with gold trim, but he also wears a black t-shirt with no evident design on it. He tapes up his wrists and begins speaking, his eyes not yet meeting the camera lens.] SJ: Well, here I am, moments away from my IIWF debut. I gotta tell you,     I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous. I mean, this is the I_I_W_F! But unlike some guys, I'm not gonna go out to the ring,   wide-eyed like a kid in a candy store, but let's not repeat what I said before. [He finishes taping up his wrists, and starts to lace up his boots, black in colour, but otherwise without design.] SJ: "Nifty" Ned Norton, eh? I'd venture to say this guy isn't one of the IIWF's top stars. The only thing this guy is gonna find nifty in this match is how unlucky he was to be paired with me, and I think he'll realize that when I dump him on his head with about twenty some odd suplexes. [He chuckles a bit, then leans back against a set of blue lockers behind him, obviously finished with his wrestling preparation.] SJ: Well, I guess I can't complain, at least this chump'll make me look     good. I guess I'm about out of time. Seeya later. [fade]     Sebastian entered slowly, allowing the crowd to view him for the first time, impressing them but interacting with the fans.  But once to the ring, he showboated, slingshotting in, handspringing them raising his arms for approval.  Once the bell rang, it was all business against the IIWF's favorite son.  Jericho unleashed his full arsenal:  Belly-to-back suplex, drop toe hold, snap down armbar, camel clutch, Japanese armbar.  With the cheers of the crowd in his ears, he whipped Ned off the ropes and into the crippling Raptureplex, a double tilt-a-whirl shoulder bomb. RESULT: Jericho by Pinfall. BL: Don't say it, Larry. LM: Say what? BL: "An incredible debut for this young newcomer.  He could present quite a challenge to the IIWF superstars." LM: That isn't what I was going to say. BL: Oh, really? LM: _I_ would have added "I wouldn't be suprised to see him contend for a belt soon." ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Phoenix vs. El Super Gecko ------------------------------------------------------------------------     The reborn wrestler wasted no time coming to the ring, and wasted less time in it.  Initially he allowed The Gecko to do his usual rope jumping antics, but it wasn't long before the Phoenix took command of the match.  During, Genesis members Highwayman and Icehawk came down he aisle.  Phoenix knew they were there but never formally acknowledged them.  The two merely watched as Phoenix scored the pin. RESULT: Phoenix by Pinfall BL: I can't help but be disappointed.  Genesis has vowed that Phoenix-Wing will pay fo his betrayal, but here, nothing. LM: Maybe there is a soft spot in Genesis. BL: Certainly, it's that whole creation of man thing.  Why wasn't Eve     made first? LM: The stable, NOT the Bible.  As I was saying, Highwayman and Icehawk     always were friends with Nightwing.  Myabe friendships run deeper     than politics. BL: The snake always has gotten a bad rap. LM: The snake was evil. BL: And your point is? LM: Just that... oh, forget it. BL: Maybe Jericho could join Genesis. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Scott Rogers & Serge Annis vs. The Rotundos ------------------------------------------------------------------------     This makeshift team, preparing for their Saturday team up, had trouble working together.  However, what they lacked in cohesion they made up for with talent.  The match stopped a moment mid-way when Luke Steele, the Pheonix and Deathbringer came out to watch.  Highwayman followed in after him.  There was a tense moment, and the crowd shouted for Saturday's six man match to begin now, but instead, Steele led his comrades backstage.  Moments later, Annis hit the chokeslam on one of the Rotundos for the pin. RESULT: Rogers and Annis by Pinfall BL: A man could hurt himself chokeslaming a Rotundo.  LM: More importantly, can he chokeslam Deathbringer before the dead man     gets him first? BL: How am I supposed to answer that?  Am I a fortune teller?  [going into a trance]  I see things... strange things... I see a match between two men and one of them winning.  I see Marty Warnett admitting that he he has a crush on me.  I see Chris Quigley teaming with Scott Bloom.  I see Steve Roberts losing his hair.  I see President Spreadbury burning down his neighbor's house... Larry Morton wetting his bed... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Timothy N. Turner vs. Casey C. ------------------------------------------------------------------------     Turner debuted against Casey C., the perennial hopeful.  But tonight was not Casey's night as his arrogant opponent wasted no time in defeating him.  T.N.T. used a snap suplex, a step over toe hold, even a hurricarana before executing the TNT flying elbow drop for the pin. RESULT: Turner by Pinfall [Cut to footage captioned, "Earlier Tonight."  Turner kicks the downed Casey C. out of the ring as he signals for the microphone, which is tossed to him.  Soaking in the "boo"s of the capacity crowd, Turner raises the microphone and speaks to the audience:] TNT: I would just like to congratulate President Dan for realizing who      the top draw in the sport is today!  However, in coming here I had      to leave behind my manservent who normally tends to all of of my      sundry needs.  It is beneath the stature of a man like myself to      carry my own suitcases, shine my own boots, and fight nothings like      this Casey C, so I need someone to do such menial tasks for me.  I      have decided to bestow the honour of these duties on Kevin "the      Cavalier" Christensen.  He is a pathetic wrestler so it is no loss      for him to put his career on hold.  He claims to be some sort of      knight so he should be used to following the orders of a liege lord. Verily I say unto you, good sir knight, I have bestowed upon you the most august of all honours in serving the sexiest, most-talented, most all-round dominating presence in the business.  You may finish your match tonight but my first order to you is to pull out of the ten-man match on Saturday and give me your spot.  So I say, so shall it be done! [Big heel pop as Turner leaves the ring, jawing with the fans.  Cut back to the studio.] LM: An incredible debut by this new... [Becky glares] Um, er... It seems     that Simon Lebec either has a new enemy, or a new drinking buddy. BL: Quite the brash sort.  I can't say that I dislike him at all. LM: Certainly does seem like your type.  Even though he isn't a cowboy. BL: I've got his phone number. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Harlequins vs. Hollywood Bloods ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [The camera opens to the Hollywood Bloods with a simple IIWF backdrop behind them. Clark Watson is looking all around as Doug Wayne just stares into the camera] DW: Just keep pluggin' away. Week after week. We move a little bit closer and then we fall a little farther. Sometimes it's like we are running downhill at these teams, other times it's like we are climbing a mountain.  Last Resort, you guys got so lucky at the Clash. Man, did you get lucky.  We were killing you guys the whole match, then a [bleep] cheap pin. A [bleep] rollup.  Now you guys get a title shot and and we get the Harlequins.  Or I should say, The Harlequins get stuck with us.  They get stuck with our anger and our frustration. They become our punching bags. [Looks at Watson.] DW: We don't forget Harlequins.  The last time we were in the ring with     you, you guys took yet another title shot away from us. And the time     before that. Oh yeah, You guys showed everyone your true colors.     Throwing powder in your own eyes to get us disqualified. To get     yourself out of the match.  To rob us of a victory we rightfully     deserved. We were the better team that night and you came out on top. The story of our lives.  How 'bout it Watson? CW: [Takes a deep breath]  Harlequins, when we get in the ring tonight.     Look into my eyes. Look at all the fury and frustration. Then foresee your pain, then live your nightmare. Last Resort got lucky.     Harlequins, your luck has run out. DW: Well, we go to war again tonight. The struggle continues.  The journey never ends.  Still we climb to the top. Still we perservere and fight the battles.  For us the war never ends. [Fade. Cut to footage captioned, "Earlier This Week." Darkness. The sound of hands clapping slowly can be heard. From the darkness Tragedy walks out. He is dressed all in black with no makeup save some black around his eyes and on his lips. He stops his sarcastic clapping and speaks:] HT: Congratulations, Cold Spell. You've defeated the Prophets for the      World Tag Team Titles. [sarcastically] I must commend you. Who would     have thought a steroid freak and an adulterer would have been able to defeat a quality team? Oh... That's right, you beat the Prophets. Not a true team. HT: Ten years ago, my father held belts similar to the ones you hold      now. And he had to earn them. He didn't have three punks fighting his fights for him while he sat back and watched. That is what     Genesis is all about. The "New Generation" thinks it can rewrite     history just beacuse of a couple of fluke wins. When was the last     time any of you really earned anything? [pause] HT: I didn't think so.  Right now, gentlemen, you don't have two     championship belts. You have two gold targets strapped around your     waists. And every Harlequin is setting their sights on them. And no     matter who, or what we have to go through, we will get them... and     you! [Cut back to the studio.]     The Harlequin wrestlers entered in a very somber mood, while Comedy     and Melody worked the crowd with silly string and handing out     Superballs. The men entered the ring while their female counterparts     took ringside seats.  Wayne and Watson entered equally serious, and     when the bell rang it was obvious that both teams were looking to hurt each other.  Regardlesss of the Harlequin in the ring, both used submission moves, working on the arms and spines of their opponents and seemingly delighting in their pain.  The Bloods kept their standard methods of blockading the corner and quick, double-team, tags.  The crowd seemed on the Harlequins' side, and the Bloods were endlesly tormented by Superballs thrown at them by the Harlequin girls and the crowd.  Near the end, the Masked Avenger of Last Resort entered the aisle, and picking up a Superball, pelted Watson with it.  El Diablo quickly dragged his partner backstage, but their ruckus distracted Watson who turned his back on Tragedy.  As soon as he turned back, the Harlequin leader unleashed a fireball in his eyes which blinded him long enough for Tragedy to wrap up the pin.     As soon as the ref had finished the count, a man wearing jeans, a     Harlequin t-shirt with bandages on his arm and red clawmarks slipped     out from under the ring, choking Hollywood Blood Wayne.  Quickly the     other Harlequins were there, pulling him away and shouting "Not now!" RESULT: Harlequins by pinfall LM: Another Harlequin in the fold? BL: I don't remember much of high school acting class, but I don't     remember 'Bandaged Claw Face' as one of the tenets of drama. LM: And what about the Hollywood Bloods?  Another frustrating loss to     the Harlequins.  They'll want revenge on them as well as Last Resort. BL: I don't remember much about High School at all now that I think about it.  Did I go to high school?   Don't know much trigonometry.  Don't know much Biology.  Don't know much about the French I took.... LM: Yes, well, I'm sure that would make a great song or something. BL: Phys Ed. and wrestling with the boys.  THAT I remember.  Especially     taking showers in the locker room after. LM: The girls' locker room I hope. BL: No, I never said that. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Mr. Damage vs. Kevin "the Cavalier" Christiansen ------------------------------------------------------------------------      Mr. Damage entered wearing a t-shirt emblazoned with "Next IIWF World Champion" laughing and joking with his "Silent Partner" on his cellphone.  But that didn't stop him from dealing out some serious punishment to the young "Cavalier". He never tried to put Christiansen away, as he kept stopping to exchange a quick conversation on the phone.  Christiansen took one such opportunity to attack, only to have Damage smash the phone into his face, opening up a small cut on Christiansen's forehead. This brought a chuckle from Timothy N. Turner who had entered ringside, fulfilling his promise to stalk Christiansen.  The "Cavalier" continued to take Damage's pummeling until Kevin managed to overbalance a suplex attempt, hooking the leg, and scoring an unexpected three count on Mr. Damage.  Christiansen quickly escaped the ring as Damage spinned wildly center ring, ranting and threatening the referee.  Turner merely walked away, smiling. RESULT: Christiansen by Pinfall BL: That was certainly discouraging. LM: What may be more so is that t-shirt Damage was wearing.  I can't see     him getting a shot any time soon, let alone winning the World     Championship. BL: Au contraire, Pez breath.  My "sources" tell me that there is a rumor of Damage getting his shot.  And it seems that whoever is on the other end of that phone may have pulled a few strings. LM: But... but... the only man with that kind of power is... BL & LM: [in unison]  Steve Owens! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Syndicate vs. Pain Inc. ------------------------------------------------------------------------     The bad blood in this one was obvious.  The match was repeatedly     stopped before brawls could begin, and security came ringside.  Tiger Claw seemed amused by many of Pain Inc.'s techniques, unimpressed with the Indonesian fighting styles.  Casey James spent most of the battle looking for an opportunity to pull something out of his trunks. Finally his chance came, and he broke a handful of smelly salts under Morningstar's nose.  Reeling from the fumes of ammonia, Morningstar was unable to regain any offense and soon fell prey to Casey's Blackheart punch.  Tiger Claw fought off Hellraiser's save and James covered for the three count. RESULT: Syndicate by Pinfall. LM: It looks to me like the Syndicate is picking up in the tag ranks where they left off in the singles ranks. BL: And a thing of beauty it is. LM: I have to disagree... BL: You wouldn't recognize beauty if it were sitting at the broadcast     table next to you.  Oh, my, what a coincidence, it is. LM: I think it's time we ended the show. BL: Hey, Roberts, what do you know about gravity?  Why do you think that     you can understand the higher sciences when you still think that this is six inches?! [Becky holds up her thumb and forefinger a inch or so apart.] LM: That's all, join us again next week and don't forget our other great     IIWF programming. [The camera pulls out past the Man of Steel memorial drinking fountain. Becky continues to mouth "six inches" while holding her fingers in the same position.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Jim Jividen | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | brokeback@webtv.net | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+