##### ###### ### ########## ########## ########## #### ## ########## ########## ########## #### # #### ######## ##### ##### #### ## ##### #### #### #### #### ### #### #### #### #### ############# ######### #### #### ########### ######### #### #### #### #### #### ######### ######### ### #### #### ######### ######### ### ## #### ######## ######## ## # #### =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- ## =-=-=-=     "INSIDE THE IIWF" - AUGUST 12, 1997 ================================================= [Elton John's "I'm Still Standing" plays as the shot opens on IIWF's Studio Three.  Veteran commentator Tim Dross sits at the long, glass desk which is placed in front of a large video monitor.  Dross is wearing a crisp, new IIWF blazer and smiles confidently at the camera as the shot zooms in and the music fades.] TD: Hello friends and welcome to "Inside the IWF", your weekly look at all the news, views, reviews and previews... highlights and sidelights... cheers and jeers.  A look behind at the week that was and up ahead at what will be here in the _finest_ professional wrestling organization in the world today... the _mighty_ IIWF! I am your host, Tim Dross and what a wild, and I do mean wild, weekend of action all over the IIWF -- and to cover it all, here is my co-host, "the hardest working man in the rasslin' business" Steve "Soundbite" Roberts! [A throaty female voice is heard:  "Shoot, Soundbite! Shoot" and then Van Halen's "Running with the Devil" begins as the audiotaped voice of Sparkplug Lee is heard:] SL: Ladies and gentlemen... Steve "Soundbite" Roberts! [Canned applause swells as the Soundbite enters the shot, taking his seat behind the desk. Roberts is wearing all black from his customary leather jacket to Ray-Ban sunglasses to a black t-shirt which reads:                Double I Double U F'n F. Roberts has a black armband on with the words: "Day 31: IIWF Under Seige" noticably emblazoned thereon.] TD: Well, Steve, always nice to see you so chipper on a Tuesday Night. SR: Christ, Dross.  Keep it down, can't you see I'm in pain?  The Fury and I were out long and longer on Saturday Night... and my head feels like a herd of Barnacle Brothers just gave birth in it. TD: Well, it's Tuesday now, Steve Roberts.  I understand how you certainly would have had a difficult week, not simply with the tumult up in the IIWF Towers, but with the enormous victory by "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley over Steve Kowalski -- it certainly was a tough weekend for you.  But, come on Steve... it's a brand new week and we have brand new IIWF action! SR: Okay, first of all I couldn't care less about a bunch of suits throwing a hissy fit -- they all leave, they all stay, don't make a damn bit of difference to the Soundbite -- just keep the checks coming, baby.  American greenbacks. As for it being, Tuesday... I'm running on Soundbite time, baby dolls, and Soundbite time is measured only in the time it takes me to pound down another bottle of Johnnie Walker... After that piece of Quigley got his hand raised... I won't say he WON, 'cause we all know he didn't win -- but after Chrissie got his hand raised on Saturday Night -- I started drinkin' and drinkin' and then I had a little hair of the dog, Dross, and then I had the whole damn coat of the dog and by yesterday afternoon I don't even want to think about what part of the dog I had, Dross.  It's all a blur of screaming and blood and mucus and about the time I found myself in Sioux Falls at an indie show hearing the ring announcer say that Jo-Jo the rat faced girl was about to wrestle Conquistodor number Two -- and I realized that I was wearing the mask, I knew it was time to get my ass back to Portland. TD: Well, we're glad to have you back, Steve Roberts -- and we're glad to have "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley back as well -- not that the Canadian fan favorite had ever really left, but after his recent wins at Coronation Clash and then in that 10 man tag... you have got to feel that his confidence now must be, after defeating Steve Kowalski, now must be at an all time high. SR: Dandy.  We gotta all get on the Quigley train of justice again. Quigley the Good... Quigley the Brave... Quigley the Overly Sensitive... Look, a couple of fluke wins in the middle of August don't mean nothin' -- we all know that come pay-per-view time, he'll be on his back faster than a nickle whore. TD: Eloquently put, Steve Roberts.  In fact, we are just a few short weeks away from MIDSUMMER MADNESS, coming to you on September 7, from the IIWF Coliseum, call your local cable company.  And the challenge for Chris Quigley has gone out, from none other that former Intercontinental Champion, Marty Warnett.  We all know that these two very popular fan favorites have had their difficulties -- and there is clearly a need which burns within Warnett, a need to prove himself against Chris Quigley.  We hope to hear a response this Saturday Night, when Chris Quigley will give a very special interview in the IIWF Coliseum.  Warnett, however, has his own concerns this Saturday as he and the "Showstopper", Simon Lebec will meet in a "once and for all" match inside a sealed steel cage!  It should be one hell of a contest! SR: The only good thing that could come out of that is a lacerated ego for Warnett, who does that punk think he is, Dross?  He hasn't wrestled a decent match since February -- and even then he was carried by that other loser, Lord Byron. TD: I don't agree with any of those things, Steve Roberts.  But the bottom line is that Chris Quigley emerged victorious in our main event last Saturday Night. But -- that was not the only action in the Coliseum this past Saturday... here is your_Look Back_ at all the happenings from IIWF Saturday Night! ======================================================================== --------------------------------REWIND---------------------------------- ------------------IIWF-SATURDAY-NIGHT--AUGUST-9,-1997------------------- ======================================================================== [Queen's "I Want It All" plays over highlights of Chris Quigley's victory over Steve Kowalski while the results roll:] Chris Quigley d. Steve Kowalski Brody Thunder d. Ronnie Paris Otto Verhoeven d. Duncan Macbeth Cold Spell d. Violence Unlimited (c/o) Serge Annis d. The Phoenix Highwayman d. Derek Mota Tonnage d. Dexter St. Croix TD: It was a night for re-establishment of dominace in the IIWF as a man who has been somehwat in the wings himself recently, Brody Thunder, not only defeated Ronnie Paris but was instrumental in the victory by Chris Quigley. SR: Yeah, only if by "instrumental" you mean Thunder's a backjumping, chairswinging, animal loving son of a -- TD: What I mean is... what I mean is that Brody Thunder survived not only a run-in attempt from the Fury to defeat Ronnie Paris, but then called the Fury out himself, leading to yet another altercation between those men... and finally, did enter and made his presence known in that Quigley Main Event win. SR: Listen to you, Dross.  If the Fury had hit Quigley with a chair... oh, would you be talking about interference -- but when Thunder hits the Fury he "made his presence felt".  It's that kind of hypocrisy that makes me sick of this place.  Sick.  Sick.  Sick.  Sick.  Sick. Sick. TD: Do you really feel that strongly? SR: Nah, couldn't care less.  It's this damn hangover, Dross.  It's really makin' me irritable.  TD: Another man who is clearly found his "irritable edge" is Otto "the Butcher" Verhoven.  The Teutonic Terror finally got that much needed victory over Duncan Macbeth on Saturday Night... and then went face-to-face with the IIWF Heavyweight Champion. SR: Yeah, and Requiem was there too.  Why does that dumb S.O.B. have to always put himself in the middle of things? TD: Steve Roberts, Requiem, is of course, IIWF World Heavyweight Champion. SR: Uh... right.  Tell that to my man Petrow.  How many asses does he have to kick before the "Greatest IIWF Champ Since Casey James" gets his due? TD: Joe Petrow indeed was involved in many perculiar ways this week... preventing Otto Verhoeven and Requiem from attacking each other -- and earlier in the week, actually disqualifying Maurice McArthur in his match against DDUA.  It's hard to tell what's going through the mind of the IIWF's "Franchise." SR: You know that phrase, "everyone liked to complain about Reagan but only Hinckley had the guts to do anything about it"?  You know that phrase, Dross? TD: Good grief. SR: It's sort of like that, Dross.  The big wheel of discontent spins round and round about the morons up in IIWF Tower -- but only Petrow has the balls enough to take out his 45 and take care of takin' care of business.  Sock it to 'em, Champ!  Just watch out for the fat press secretary, you know what I'm sayin? TD: Good grief. SR: Do you know if Petrow's got a thing for Jodie Foster?  That is one hot lesbian, Dross. TD: We will see Joe Petrow this Saturday Night as he battles a Genesis member, Scott Rogers. SR: Remember Joe, he has to beat you -- you don't have to beat him. Champion's prerogative.  And -- and go rent that movie Jodie did with Dennis Hopper before she got all serious... there's this shower scene and if you use your pause button... TD: Be that as it may, it was Verhoeven who came through on Saturday Night... and it will be Otto "The Butcher" Verhoven who will meet the Heavyweight Champion on September 7 at MIDSUMMER MADNESS, call your local cable company today!  In fact, it has just been announced that on August 23rd -- one week from this Saturday Night -- we will have a special _contract signing_ between Otto Verhoeven and the Heavyweight Champion of the World, who currently is, of course, Requiem.  They will put pen to paper and formally confirm their meeting for Midsummer Madness! SR: Petrow against the Butcher... not bad. TD: Another Midsummer Madness match that is at least halfway signed -- and this is an "Inside the IIWF" exclusive, folks... we will see five members of Genesis, Highwayman, Annis, Rogers and Cold Spell take on an as yet undetermined team. SR: I'll take the undetermineds and give the points, Dross.  What's the over/under?  Hey, what's Southern Cal's pre-season ranking?  TD: Your bookie's on vacation again, isn't he? SR: With all the coin I've dropped on the NBA over the last few years, he sure as hell can afford it. TD: Those Genesis members played a major role on Saturday, with big victories for the Highwayman, Serge Annis and a big shocker in that Cold Spell title defense. SR: Hah!  That's why I like the Butcher, Dross.  He ain't just some big, fat dumb guy -- no offense, Smooth -- the Butcher is a crafty son of a bitch, you gotta love his allignment with VU -- Otto knows the secret is to organize... and with those beasts in his corner -- he just went from a strong play to my guaranteed 4 Star Select Play of the Midsummer! Take the Butcher -- Take the points... and ride off to the bank, courtesy of the Soundbite Express!  Hey, Dross -- wanna bet who the next guy to offer up a resignation will be? TD: Otto Verhoeven aside... Cold Spell remains World Tag Team Champions. And there are two other men in the Phoenix and Derek Mota who understand the meaning of gang warfare... as they were simply too much for that full Genesis onslaught. SR: Well, the chickenwing... or the chickenhawk can just go back to to reservation as far as I'm concerned -- hey, they have gambling in them Indian reservations, don't they, Dross?  Nitewing!  Buddy, me got big Soundbite wompum... Me Big High Chief Soundbite... take me to the keno, Nightwing. TD: Again, we apologize. SR: But the guy I like is that crazy, little Candian bastard.  He's a freaking weeble-wobble, Dross. TD: Weeble-wobble? SR: Dammit, Dross.  Don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about. Weeble-wobbles wobble but they don'f fall down!  Hah!  I loved those little toys.  I remember, every year for my birthday, Daddy would buy me the same thing. TD: A small plastic toy? SR: No, moron.  A carton of cigs.  Daddy wouldn't have bought me a weeble-wobble.  I was a great kid -- but I wasn't like a Kennedy or the Rosewood kid down the block who Daddy always bought presents for. TD: There was another boy in the neighborhood for whom your father bought more gifts than for you? SR: Hell yeah.  All the kids got stuff from Daddy. Usually, he'd bring home something... say baseball cards, maybe, and I'd be locked in the basement, right, and Daddy would come down and open up a couple of packs and say... "Ooh, doubles of Juan Marichal... some lucky, good little boy is gonna be very happy."  And then he'd tell me to wash his car so he could take the baseball cards over to the Rosewoods. I loved that son of a bitch. [Roberts begins tearing up... as Dross shakes his head slowly.] TD: Derek Mota indeed showed perhaps more guts than brains, I understand that he is yet again in the hospital and this time is barred from leaving for his own protection.  The pain... the agony that this young man has gone through in this crusade against Genesis -- well, it's almost inhuman. SR: Inhuman?  Now that's what that social services lady tried to say about Daddy... we fixed her wagon, though.  Fixed it real good!  Can I have one Juan Marichal, Daddy?  I love Juan Marichal.  Pleeeease! Pleeeeaaaseeee!  Pleeeasssssseeeee! TD: Tonnage also displayed his fine skills this Saturday night... his overwhelming bulk just being too much for the Jamaican cruiserweight Dexter St. Croix.  That was last week, folks... but we have an entire new week of action set from the IIWF Coliseum... here is your _First Look_ at this week in the IIWF! ======================================================================== ----------------------------FIRST-LOOK---------------------------------- ----------------WEDNESDAY-WAR-ROOM--AUGUST-13,-1997--------------------- ======================================================================== Scott Rogers vs. El Super Gecko The Cavalier vs. Scott Bloom Simon Lebec vs. Ned Norton Timothy Turner vs. Barnacle Brother Bluto Ike Sampson vs. Luke Steele Harlequins vs. Violence Unlimited Ryan Howard vs. Duncan Macbeth Prophets of Rage vs. The Equalizers IIWF Cruiserweight Championship: Dirt Dog Unique Allah vs. "Enigma" Takezo Musashi TD: Plenty of great action will go be recapped on the War Room tomorrow night -- including a Cruiserweight Title match featruing the "King of Wednesday Night", Dirt Dog Unique Allah. SR: Oh, why you gotta play a brother like that, Dross?  The Enigma no-showed the match, flat out.  He hasn't been seen anywhere near the Coliseum in two-three weeks... no one knows what the hell is going on -- the guy has disappeared, Dross. TD: Well, it is true, the status of the Enigma is questionable at this point -- but Dirt Dog Unique Allah was informed by telephone that were he to come to the arena on Saturday Night, he could have picked up a forfeit victory... and Unique's response apparently was that he'd rather stay in bed.  I think this new found success has really gone to his head.  The belts, the women, the incredible amount of money which Unique acquired as a result of his victory in that Champions Ladder Match. There has even been a report -- and this is totally unconfirmed, folks -- that Dirt Dog was seen in the company of a certain World Heavyweight Champion recently... maybe we might see a title switch more quickly then we think... maybe we will see the Cruiserweight Title switch hands as soon as tomorrow night when in a very special _live_ broadcast as DDUA takes on the Enigma, Takezo Musashi.  And don't forget, folks -- that on September 7, live on pay-per-view will be MIDSUMMER MADNESS - which will include Simon Lebec taking on the Cruiserweight Champion, whomever he may be. SR: My homeyz, the Prophets are also on tap for Wednesday, Dross. They're gonna meet the Eliminators.  TD: Equalizers. SR: The Eradicators?  They're gonna play racquetball?  "You are no match for... The Eradicator!" TD: You're talkin' to an unsually small crowd now, Steve.  SR: Nah, when I went to the "Billy Shakespeare Fan Convention" I was talking to a small crowd.  My people love me. TD: A very interesting matchup is on tap when the newcomer, Ryan Howard, attempts to get his career revved up when he meets Duncan Macbeth, who suffered that heartbreaking loss to Otto Verhoeven on Saturday Night.  SR: I do like that Howard... tough guy... maybe he needs a gay tag partner.   Ronnie Paris ain't been doing much lately... TD: Two tag teams with a dislike of Genesis in common, Violence Unlimited and the Harlequins, will hook it up -- you have to think that one of these teams may well be looking to put on a big title run in the near future -- and this match could be the start. SR: Well -- VU are a couple of freaks... let's get that out of the way first.  But they had the good sense to team up with the Butcher -- so that works in their favor.  The Harlequins are talented guys... and they sure as hell keep winning matches, but how many guys do they need on their team, Dross?  In a couple of weeks they'll be able to start a junior varsity squad to go up against some of the teams that suck.  No, wait... most teams only have one guy who sucks.  We've been over this before. TD: Again, we apologize. We will also see the return to the ring of Ike Sampson for the first time since the shocking turn of events involving Creed and the Intercontinental Champion, Mad Dog Watkins. SR: Yeah, but who was under the mask, Dross?  Who was under the smiley faced mask? TD: I don't have any idea. SR: I know. TD: Okay... who was under the mask? SR: I'm not telling. TD: Fine.  Ike Sampson will meet Luke Steele, another man who has been run over by Genesis during this "Reign of Requiem" that has now lasted... as I check Soundbite's arm... 31 days. SR: "I'll need time to heal" ain't ever gonna get any better, Dross. He and Ike will have a nice sleepy little love fest this Wednesday Night. TD: We also will see Scott Rogers, Simon Lebec and the two rivals, Kevin Christiansen and Timothy N. Turner -- all in separate action this Wednesday Night -- don't miss a second! SR: You know... I wouldn't take Becky LaRue's job for anything in the world.  Anything. TD: Oh, stop insulting the Wednesday Night card, Steve Roberts. SR: Nah, that's not what I meant... I mean having to sit next to Morton all night long.  You never know when he's gonna start talking about Delta Force. TD: Tune into the War Room, where Becky LaRue and Larry Morton will bring you all the action! ======================================================================== -----------------------------FIRST-LOOK--------------------------------- -----------------IIWF-SATURDAY-NIGHT--AUGUST-16,-1997------------------- ======================================================================== TD: A great card on what is an historic IIWF Saturday Night.  Here is your _First Look_ at all the action! IIWF World Heavyweight Championship: Requiem vs. Casey James Brody Thunder vs. Steve "The Fury" Kowalski IIWF Intercontinental Championship: Mad Dog Watkins vs. Tony Starks Sealed Cage Match: Marty Warnett vs. Simon Lebec Joe Petrow vs. Scott Rogers Final Cut Challenge: Billy Shakespeare vs. Sebastian Jericho Tonnage Ronnie Paris Timothy N. Turner vs. The Cavalier Licensed for Devastation vs. The Machines Plus: Interview with "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley TD: The merits of the card are obvious..but, beyond that this will be the golden anniversary of IIWF Saturday Night! That's right, folks, this will be the 50th edition of the finest two hours of weekly live wrestling anywhere in the world -- the 50th IIWF Saturday Night!  SR: Damn, we've been doing this a long time. TD: Indeed, the IIWF has a tremendous amount of which to be proud this week, Steve Roberts. SR: No... I meant this show.  "Inside" just gets longer and longer... when can we go out on the road again, Dross?  Bondage clubs... Voodoo temples... Mexican prisons... at least that was fun, Dross. TD: I can think of much more fun than we are going to have this Saturday Night... we already have spoken about two of these big matches, Brody Thunder will take on Steve Kowalski and Simon Lebec hooks up against Marty Warnett inside that steel cage! SR: Fury gonna kick all they asses, baby dolls. TD: Two other rivalries will come to a head when the Machines finally get LFD in a tag team encounter... and the Cavalier gets his hands on his tormentor, Timothy N. Turner. SR: I love that Turner, Dross.  The kid works hard... has a great attitude -- he's going places around here. TD: We'll also see Joe Petrow meet Genesis member Scott Rogers, in what is sure to be an... interesting matchup. SR: Remember Joe -- take the count out... take the DQ -- just keep that belt... for the love of God, Petrow, don't let the bodybuilders start winning belts around here.  The locker room will be smothered in baby oil... guys will be working on torture racks... everybody will be popping Icopro... it'll just be ugly beyond belief, Dross. TD: We also have two big title defenses, Steve Roberts.  Mad Dog Watkins will defend his IC belt against Age of the Rage member Tony Starks... SR: Oh... that is one bad Dog.  Can we roll the footage again? [Cut to a shot of Mad Dog Watkins hitting a flying superbomb to the outside on the unconscious Creed.] SR: I can't get enough of that, Dross.  I don't know when I've heard more applause in my life than when that punk got his ass handed to him by Watkins. TD: Creed has been a very popular superstar with the IIWF fans, Steve Roberts. SR: I was talking about the other wrestlers, Dross.  There was a locker room celebration that night.  I noticed you weren't invited. TD: Also... we will see a huge -- and I mean a huge IIWF Championship match-up between Requiem and the man who was never actually defeated out of his IIWF title... Casey "Blackheart" James. SR: Christmas.  It's Christmas, Dross.    You know how on Christmas you hope... you hope that maybe Daddy will give you just one of the Juan Marichal cards?  Just one, please? TD: Steve. SR: Well, it's just like that only the Rosewoods ain't comin' nowhere near this one, Dross.  Casey James is gonna give that no-talent, no-heat, no-anything else good in this sport, punk Requiem the beating his sister shoulda gave him years ago.  In fact... if you listen to the rumors... she probably has given that beating.  I think they got a Donnie and Marie thing going on, Dross. TD: I don't have any response to that.  Also we will see one of the more intriguing matches of the year... "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare will certainly step back into the spotlight this Saturday Night when he takes on not one... not two... but three -- three IIWF superstars consecutively! It is gonna be a wild, wild Golden Anniversary edition of IIWF Saturday Night! SR: Hey, we're gonna see Boy Requiem disappear forever and get to see Billy Shakespeare pinned three times in one night -- I'm telling you, Dross, it's almost worth both a Juan Marichal and a Orlando Cepeda. TD: IIWF Saturday Night... don't miss a second! ======================================================================== ----------------------------COMING-FRIDAY------------------------------- ----------------------COUNTDOWN-TO-SATURDAY-NIGHT----------------------- ======================================================================== TD: That's almost all the time we have this week folks, be sure to tune in tomorrow for all the great action of "Wednesday War Room"... then on Friday, Brian Lau and Larry Morton will "Countdown" to Saturday Night... Then comes the big one... the finest two hours of live wrestling anywhere in the world -- IIWF Saturday Night! SR: And I'm takin' the week off! TD: Steve... if there's any week that you are working, it's this one. SR: Damn.  I'm gonna need to renegotiate, Dross!  Bring on the Girl Scouts! TD: We're sorry that again we have run out of time to go to Steve Summer... who patiently waits at the Arm Bar with IIWF fans who have questions for Steve Roberts... but we'll certainly get to it next week. For my tag team colleague, Steve "Soundbite" Roberts, and all of us here at "Inside the IIWF", I want to wish you all... goodnight! [Joni Mitchell's "Paved Paradise And Put Up A Parking Lot" plays as Steve Roberts places his head in his hands in a mock sleep and Tim Dross drops his notepaper over his head as the shot and the music fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Jim Jividen | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | brokeback@webtv.net | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+