[Slow motion replays begin of exploding coffee mugs, each one disappearing in a quick cloud of particalized porcelain.  The camera lingers, show the cups to bear the legends "Dan We Hardly Knew Ye" and "Don't Go Flash". The camera pans around to reveal Becky LaRue, armed with a large caliber handgun drawing a bead on a remaining mug. She squeezes the triger and the cup diappears in a shower of blue enamel chips.  From the haze explodes this logo:] ________ ______ | || |\ \ /\ / /| __| | || | \ v v / | __| |_||_| \_/\_/ |_| __ __ __ _______ ___ | //_ / | /| //_ /__ / | /__|\__/ | / // / // |// \ / // / / |/|//__ /__// //_______//__// /__/ ___ ___ ___ ________ | //__| /__\ /__\ / // //|/| | / // // \ / \ / // // / | |/|// // / / //__//__// | -------------------------------------- August 20 1997 [The camera pans around the recently emptied IIWF Coliseum.  It stops in the center ring where Larry Morton and Becky LaRue sit at a temporary broadcast table.] LM: Welcome to the War Room with Larry Morton and Becky LaRue.  We're     broadcasting from the Coliseum tonight, instead of from the Hall of     Fame because that venue is temporarily closed while they clean out the "Last Days of Dan Kauffman" exhibit. BL: Kauffman. LM: Yes Becky, it seems like one of the IIWF's legendary wrestlers has     returned to weigh in against the "new Generation". BL: Kauffman. LM: "Flash" wasn't in attendance tonight, but we did have plenty more     action the way you'd expect it only from the IIWF. BL: Kauffman. LM: Becky, are you alright? BL: [Her left eyelid begins to spasm uncontrollably.] Dan... Kauf... fman. LM: Well, it seems as if Kauffman's return has had no small effect on my     co-host. BL: Kauffman. LM: The night started interestingly enough.  Requiem and the whole of     Genesis bought from row seats for tonights show.  They sat amidst a     large group of their fans, signing autographs and chatting with     the Genesis Generation. Requiem did not wear his belt, indeed none of them were dressed to wrestle.  They ate popcorn, hooted at the wrestlers, and seemed every bit the standard IIWF fan.  Scott Rogers in particular was having a great time, and even Gabrielle cracked a smile. BL: Kauf...fman. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ronnie Paris vs. "Nifty" Ned Norton ------------------------------------------------------------------------     It was a somewhat merciless Ronnie Paris who wrestled this bout.     Paris turned to an arsenal of power moves, including suplexes and a     chest stomp to efficiently destroy his "Nifty" opponent.  Paris     stopped frequently to demand the crowd to cheer for his moves,     receiving scattered applause which seemed to anger him more.  Finally, Paris unleashed the Texas Twister top rope Stun Gun.  After the bout, Billy Shakespeare entered, whipping a little section of the audience into a cheering frenzy, then shrugging his shoulders at Paris, as if it was nothing.  The two then began a staring match which heated quickly, but security entered before Shakespeare could enter the ring. RESULT: Ronnie Paris by Pinfall LM: A new leaf for Ronnie Paris?  Is he the most underappreciated worker     in the IIWF or just a whiner?  From my position, there should be     enough cheers for a pure wrestler like Paris as there are for flashy     performers like Billy Shakespeare.  But it looks as if those two     don't agree. BL: Kauffman. LM: Yes, Becky. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Serge Annis vs. Rasputin ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [The screen is black...] SA: Some people call me "The Lethal Protector"... [Several flashes of Serge Annis hitting Otto Verhoeven with the steel chair on Saturday Night, in black and white flash on the screen, followed by repeated shots of Serge Annis clubbing hi s bloodied steel chair over the back of Dan Kauffman. After the intense package, the darkness returns.] SA: Others call me psychotic... [The intense shots return. We see Serge Annis grinning maniacaly, and then Serge spitting fire at Brody Thunder. We see a shot of Serge chokeslamming a camera man, and then Annis holding his Zippo lighter high above his head. Next, a view of Annis' tell-all interview, then a shot of him being straightjacketed in a match from UWF. The last image shown is Serge's evil grin. Again, back to darkness.] SA: And yet others call me an over-rated stiff... [A clip of Serge's infamous controversial pinfall victory over Dan Kauffman... Annis high-fiving Requiem... Otto Verhoeven being waffled by Serge's chair... a jobber being chokeslammed... Annis being bitten by two-mean looking rotweiler dogs in a ring... a bloody picture of Serge coated with crimson red blood... Serge diving clothslining Deathbringer... and lastly Serge Annis standing with Scott Rogers, Requiem and Highwayman.  Darkness once more.] SA: However there are seven letters that describe me best in the ring,     in the back and in the mind... [A clip of a chokeslam onto a jobber...] SA: E... [Clip of Serge brawling with Casey James...] SA: P... [Clip of Serge turning on Deathbringer and chokeslamming him...] SA: I.... [Clip of Annis chokeslamming Otto Verohoeven onto the steel chair...] SA: T... [Shot of Serge shimmying down a cable  into a steel cage enclosed ring and jumping down 15 feet to land on top of Bishop with the UWF World title...] SA: O... [Clip of Annis smashing Requiem's gutair...] SA: M... [Shot of Serge chokeslamming The Butcher again...] SA: E... [Darkness. A flame begins to rise from the bottom of the screen to the top revealing the word "EPITOME" in the fire. The camera cuts to a clip of Serge Annis' head. It is in black and white, and no background to the scene is visible. The only colour in the picture is Annis' icey blue eyes.] SA: Epitome... of Evil. Do not forget it. Dan Kauffman has returned and     received priority treatment already... well, two can play at that     game as Genesis deserve the same treatment. So excuse me, Mr.     Kauffman, for stealing your creative marketing ploy for     alphabetics...     It seems that the IIWF is begining to take The Epitome of Evil just     a tad more seriously, after I defeated the turncoat Phoenix and now     am entering the biggest match of my carrer against Otto Verohoeven.     Well, for all of the critics, all I can say is that it is all in due     time. My time has arrived! I've waited long enough for it, and I     shall reach out and grasp the opportunity. They call you the German     Juggernaut Otto... are you really ready to risk your life for that     of your fanatacism to the IIWF and your home country? What better     man to come to than Serge Annis. Unlike Deathbringer, I am not a     "grim reaper." What I am though is your worst nightmare, Butcher.     Saturday Night you received a taste of my brand of evil Butcher, and     this coming Saturday Night, I will give you the full deal... I even     have a surprise for you Otto. A fine surprise which you will find..     quite, shocking really... he he he. Of course, you won't know that     until it's light's out... for you. Butcher, am I the next stop on     your road to Requiem and the IIWF World title? Perhaps, but I will     show to you that I am that truck stop on that road that you just     don't want to enter... and you, Butcher, have no choice. Come     Saturday, the surprise will be revealed, you will be defeated and     the critics will be silenced! [The camera fades as Annis flashes his devilishly evil grin. Cut back to the studio.]     Annis was every bit the warrior who pulverized Otto Verhoevan last     Saturday.  His opponent, "The Mad Russian", spent most of the night     running from the determine Epitome, despite Rasputin's weigh     advantage.  The cheers from the Genesis crowd were near deafening, and the crowd noise almost equally so.  It did get louder when     Deathbringer entered ringside.  Genesis remained wary.  Suddenly     'Bringer sprinted to the ring, clouting Annis on the back of his head with his sythe.  Genesis leaped the barrier, forcing Deathbringer out of the arena.  Meanwhile, Annis fought off Rasputin's pin, then flattened him with a chokeslam.  Security warned Genesis to return to their seats or they would be thrown out of the arena. RESULT: Annis by Pinfall BL: Kauffman. LM: Scary, simply scary.  Is Serge Annis finally fulfilling the awesome     promise that he showed when he entered the IIWF?  I think a lot of     wrestlers hope not.  The exception seems to be Deathbringer who fears no man.  Regardless, I don't envy the next wrestler to face Serge. BL: [Her head twitching to one side] Kauffman. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Sebastian Jericho vs. Scott "the Whine" Bloom ------------------------------------------------------------------------     Jericho could do no wrong against against "The Whine", especially     in the eyes of Genesis who started a LOUD cheer for Sebastian     with the fans.  Jericho seemed a bit confused by this outpouring of     support, but he methodically worked his program of suplexes and     armbars, nailing the Kalamazoo Facebuster just as Bloom was preparing his devestating "Late Card" finisher.  After, Tonnage entered ringside, and bolstered Genesis' cheers of "Jer-i-cho!  Jer-i-cho!"  He invited the massive wrestler into the ring, but seeing himself suddenly outnumbered, declined. RESULT: Sebastian Jericho by pinfall. LM: Is Jericho Genesis?  Will the walls come tumbling down?  This     certainly goes a long way in explaining Scott Rogers interfering in     Jericho's match against Shakespeare on Saturday.  Sebastion hasn't     shown that he is, but whispers backstage suggest it is a done deal.     Anything to add, Becky? BL: Kauffman? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Machines vs. Pain Inc. ------------------------------------------------------------------------     These two teams wrestled like they had more issues to deal with than     themselves than each other.  The Machines were working on their tags, Paul Wong still hurting from the fireball, Pain Inc. looking nothing like the team they once were before being kicked out of the Syndicate. The match was long and slightly brutal.  The turning point came when Hellraiser remover the turnbuckle cover, but Simon O'Neal reversed Morningstar into it instead.  Woozy, this left Morningstar open to "Being Machined" as Wong and O'Neal worked their Powerbomb/legscissor finisher to perfection. RESULT: The Machines by Pinfall LM: If The Machines were having a problem, this match certainly solved it. The Machines look poised to make a run at the top of the Tag Rankings.  As for Pain inc, if Becky were able to say anything besides "Kauffman", she might ask "Pain Inc, are you in this fed?"   In fact, Becky, _can_ you say anything besides "Kauffman"? BL: Flash? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Hollywood Bloods vs. The Equalizers ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [Cut to footage captioned, "Earlier Tonight:" the Hollywood Bloods in the back locker room. Clark Watson is doing some last minute stretches while Doug Wayne is pacing around back and forth. Doug Wayne sees the camera and begins to speak:] DW: Well, it looks like we're back after a little hiatus.  It's nice to     be back. It looks like Last Resort has disapeared off the face of     the earth.  I hate to be a guy that says I told ya so, but... I told     ya so.  We said we would get rid of those pick-pocketing Mehicans.     Hey, Watson, what about Last Resort? CW: Adios, Amigos.  Those guys are in some guy's trunk getting smuggled     back across the border.  America don't want those guys and neither     does Mexico. DW: Onto to more important business.  Tonight we got the Equalizers.     More like Equally Crap.  We have seen these guys on the side of     some other fences if you get my drift.  The IIWF suits don't like us     mentioning other leagues, but we know these guys.  And plainly they     suck. Ha, Ha, Ha.  Hey, Watson, what do you think about the     Equalizers? CW: We're facing those guys tonight? DW: Who did you think we were facing? CW: I dunno. After awhile all these guys look the same to me. DW: Man, you got to stop drinking. The alcohol is clouding your mind. CW: Na, man I've been drinking since, since, since... DOH! DW: Anyway, Equally Crap, we'll see you in the ring. [Cut back to the studio.]     The Bloods backed up their words from the moment they hit the ring,     willingly locking up with both Equalizers as long as possible and     laughing when the ref demanded only one wrestler per team.  The     Bloods kept up heir reputation of making quick tags and keeping     up the double team.  Showing amazing resiliance, Paulson of the     EQ's spend the majority of the match taking the beating, unable to     make his tag.  Frustrated at only getting one opponent, Doug Wayne     walked around the edge of the apron, pulled something from his     tights which appeared to be knuckles, and clocked the EQ's Sampson.     It a short time, The Bloods hit the Vegginator powerbomb/legdrop     for the win. RESULT: Hollywood Bloods by Pinfall LM: The Bloods are back, and I can't say I'm fond of their newest     incarnation.  It is obvious that the Equalizers were no competition     for them, who will be?  Becky, can you say "Kauffman" for us? BL: Kauffman! LM: Good girl. Oh, I love this. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Violence Unlimited vs. Team Sychosys ------------------------------------------------------------------------     Team Sychosys came ringside wearing their trademark gear, but     unmasked.  A generic grunge tune playing behind them.  As soon as     they saw VU in the ring, they launched, quickly starting another     four on four brawl.  Once the teams were seprerated, it was Petrow who started the match, and Petrow who wrestled the match.  3M remained outside, giving encouragement and flashing handsigns.  Petrow was fast and furious, almost picking which of his opponents he wanted next.  McArthur, however, was anything but a liability, serving as a weapon for Petrow to weild. When the match went outside, 3M would get the running start, Petrow throwing him onto his prone opponent, or in the ring, lending a leg for the figure five leglock.  The ending came after during another outside excurions when 3M hit the Majestic Star Press to on Jaguar as he was defending himself from Petrow's attack.  Joe tossed the damaged VU wrestler into the ring where The Majestic one kneeled accross him for the pin. Petrow's one mistake was ending the match on the outside next to Genesis who tossed their drinks on him. RESULT: Team Sychosys by Pinfall. BL: Kauffman... Kauffman... Kauffman. LM: Yes, I understand. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Prophets of Rage vs. Licensed for Devastation ------------------------------------------------------------------------     The Prophets were looking to turn this match into a brawl, and     LFD were more than willing to oblige.  Instead of Starr using acting     the flyer and Chaos the brawler, but LFDers went hardcore, and it     wasn't long before both teams were showing blood and bruises.  The     fans were calling for more blood.  Chaos obliged with powerslams on     the outside concrete while Starr met their demand with a variety of     springboard and corkscrew maneuvers.  Midway through the match, with     Chaos distracting the ref, Starr set up Shadoe Rage in a chair     against the guardrail, running across the ring and flipping over the rope to drop kick the Rager into the crowd. This ignited the Prophets and brought Dirt Dog Unique Allah and Tony Starks ringside.  The Prophets quickly took the upper hand, especially with help of their allies, and before long both Derek Rage and Dirt Dog were choking Jonathan Chaos against the ringpost.   The referee, turning to break the choke, turned his back on Reggie Starr who reached into his trunks and pulled out a TASER gun.  Quickly he applied it to Shadoe who dropped in electric spasms.  Before long, Derek too felt the electric pulse, and the ref turned to find both Rages unconscious.  Chaos covered for the pin while Starr held off the Age of Ragers with the electric stunner. RESULT: Liscensed for Devastation by Pinfall LM: This was a, please excuse the pun, shocker.  A new team knocks out a     heretofor unassailable Prophets team.  I can't condone their methods, but the win was theirs.  Was it Steve Roberts who once said "Do yourself a favor, use a TASER"? BL: Speaking of which, seems to me that Starr had a little too much room     in those trunks to hide a Taser Gun.  Hey, Reggie, isn't there     anything else in there to fill those shorts? LM: Becky, I see you're back. BL: Was I somewhere?  Only two matches this week, short show eh?  I guess VP Jim just can't pull it off like he used to.  Hey big guy, I     understand. I've seen it happen to a hundred different guys.  You get distracted, a lot on your mind, just can't keep the show going. LM: Becky, we already reviewed six matches. BL: What are you blubbering about, Larry?  I thought I was the only one     smoking in the bathroom with St. Croix.  Were you in one of the     stalls? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Phoenix vs. Dexter St. Croix ------------------------------------------------------------------------     The jeers and hoots from Genesis at ringside kept Pheonix's attention on them and away from his opponent, allowing the Jamaican to continually steal the momemtum away from the Native American. Dexter kept up his attack with strength and power, immobilizing the     high flying Pheonix, attacking the legs and keeping him on the mat     with toe-holds and leg take downs.  It was Genesis who finally     contributed to Pheonix's eventual defeat.  After sliping outside,     Highwayman held firmly onto his ankle.  The ten count rose, but     Pheonix was able to break free at the last moment.  Timed perfectly,     Dexter was able to execute the "Natty Dread" tilt-a-whirl powerslam on rushed opponent. RESULT: St. Croix by pinfall LM: I don't know whether this was more indicative of the amazing ability     of Dexter St. Croix, or of Genesis ability to stick it to the     angry Pheonix.  BL: You don't know a heck of a lot, do you, Larry? LM: I try. BL: Not hard enough.  Wait, wasn't that what your last date said? LM: I think I liked you better before.  Hey, Becky... BL: What? LM: Dan Kauffman is back. BL: Kauffman. [The camera begins to pull back, showing a twitching Becky LaRue and an very self impressed Larry Morton.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Jim Jividen | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | brokeback@webtv.net | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+