[Across the black screen are the words.] "Flyin'" Brian Pillman 1961-1997 Rest In Peace . ___. __ ____ __ ________ ______ ||\ |/ | || | | || | || |\ \ /\ / /| __| || \|\__ | __||__ | |_||__ | || | \ v v / | __| || | \|/ || | | || |_||_| \_/\_/ |_| ||______/|\__||__ | | ||_________________________ with Tim Dross & "Soundbite" Steve Roberts Tuesday 7 October 1997 ................................................... [AC/DC's "Thunderstruck" plays as clips from IIWF Saturday Night's main event are shown: Brody Thunder battling it out with the Champion of the World, Requiem. Thunder, blood streaming from his face, survives a Req-Breaker as the four handcuffed superstars brawl on the outside. Casey James breaks free...moving under the ring...the "Masked Outlaw" emerges...Cattle Buster DDT'ing Requiem who is counted down...1--2--3. Huge Pop as the Masked Outlaw, Brody Thunder, Tiger Claw and Steve Kowalski pound away at Requiem, the Highwayman and Otto Verhoeven. Suddenly....Steve Kowalski is turned on, double crossed by the "New Syndicate", blasted into submission by Thunder and the Masked Outlaw. Casey James...to a stunned reaction from the Portland crowd...appears from underneath the ring....followed by the revelation of the Masked Outlaw to be... J.W. Hardin. Wild pop from the crowd...all four men standing together...Brody Thunder raising his Championship Belt aloft....then suddenly....savagely attacking James and Claw...leveling each man with the IIWF Championship belt...then grabbing a facelock on the legendary Outlaw... And Cattle Buster DDT'ing him into the canvas. Brody Thunder then raises the belt to the air....the crowd raring as the shot and the music fade... Fade up on an offramp of Interstate 85 just outside of Charlotte, North Carolina...coming into view of the camera is a huge yellow sign with black lettering which reads: WAFFLE HOUSE Good. Food. Fast. The camera enters the door to the establishment..the aroma of a late night greasy spoon almost seeps through the camera as the song "Waffle Doo Wop" plays over the jukebox.... The camera circles the formica laden restaurant...turck drivers and college students man the counters..while other weary souls sit entrenched in the orange booths. In one of those booths....are Tim Dross and Steve "Soundbite" Roberts. Dross' left arm is in a sling above his IIWF blazer as he attempts to mow though a large plate of pecan waffles...while the Soundbite is tearing at a t-bone steak, an orange t-shirt underneath his customary leather jacket sporting one word..."Gotcha." TD: Hello again everyone and welcome to another edition of "Inside the IIWF" your weekly look at all the news, views, reviews and previews -- highlights and sidelights, cheers and jeers. A look behind at the week that was and up ahead at what will be here in the finest wrestling federation in the world today... the _mighty_ IIWF! And the world saw one more time exactly why we call it the mighty IIWF this past Saturday Night. In a shocking..and folks..this is truly shocking, turn of events... the "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder became not only the _new_ IIWF World Champion -- but pulled a "triple cross" that will be talked about in wrestling circles... forever. SR: Dross, tell the people where we are. TD: Indeed, Brody Thunder walked to the ring a stated ally of Steve... what? SR: You kn ow...Road to Ring Wars IV. Japan... Canada... last week at that godforsaken rat trap of a ballpark in Loserville, Florida. And here we are in... come on, Dross -- it's your show buddy, I'm just along for window dressing. TD: I'm sorry, folks, it is just that the dramatic events of this past Saturday Night have shaken all of us up a little bit. SR: Not me, baby dolls. Feelin' fine and cherry wine. TD: Not all of us are endowed with your well known ability to synthesize new experience, Steve Roberts. SR: And don't you ever forget it. It's all about the Soundbite, morons. It's all about the Soundbite. TD: So... let me back up. I am Tim Dross alongside my tag team colleague, Steve "Soundbite" Roberts. SR: "Award Winning" Steve "Soundbite" Roberts. TD: And we are in the "Queen City" of the South, Charlotte, North Carolina, home of not only great professional wrestlers of the past... but also some fine American cuisine. SR: We're at the Waffle House. TD: Say it with pride, Steve Roberts! We aren't just in the Waffle House -- we are in the Home of the Waffle House -- Charlotte, North Carolina is the true and rightful birthplace of all things waffle. I'm enjoying a lovely stack of pecan waffles -- even though it is difficult with my arm in this sling, courtesy of an ill advised head first slide last Tuesday by you, Steve Roberts. SR: Don't block the plate on me Dross. My Daddy always told me that he'd run his momma over if she blocked the plate. Damn shame about grandma. Damn shame. TD: But -- as much as I am enjoying these pecan waffles... and later... later... hash browns... [Dross does an involuntary shudder.] TD: It doesn't even begin to compare to how much the fans of the IIWF enjoyed what went down at the Coliseum last Saturday Night when Brody Thunder became the IIWF Heavyweight Champion..defeating the very game Requiem and then... and then turning on Steve "The Fury" Kowalski and then... and then... SR: Oh, I'll say it, Dross. Thunder pulled a triple cross -- an honest to God, black pantied triple cross. He wiped out the tag champs, Claw and James... and then... and then... TD: And then -- Brody Thunder Cattle Buster DDT'd the icon of the IIWF -- J.W. Hardin! Unbelievable. SR: Yeah, it was all a swerve. The Masked Outlaw... James' depression... the alliance with the Fury and Watkins... even the return to the IIWF of the greatest wrestler... and finest human being... any of us will ever know. I'm sorry, Dross. I'm getting a little choked up. TD: Your affection for the "Outlaw" has long been established. It's okay to get emotional. SR: I ain't emotional Jennifer, I'm choked up -- this steak is tougher than my daddy's old mule Esther. TD: Your father kept a mule? SR: Damn right -- she slept in my bed. TD: You slept with a mule? SR: Hell no, Dross. Pay attention. I slept in the closet -- whaddyou think, Daddy would let me sleep with his mule? TD: Regardless, "The Outlaw" J.W. Hardin did make his return to the IIWF... but it was less than triumphant as his protegé got the better of him on this night -- Brody Thunder learning well from the feet of the master, and triple crossing his way into the IIWF title. SR: Three words, Dross: hell... to... pay. Oh yeah -- you gotta give the young cowboy his due, he got all of us. But... the IIWF is a tough place to be without friends... you never know when someone will just pop out of the shadows, knock you over the head and do unspeakable things with your daddy's mule. Wait... I'm thinking about something else. TD: Two men who won't be "popping out" of the shadows anytime soon are Steve Kowalski and Mad Dog Watkins, those longtime friends/rivals were each serverely injured this week -- the Fury going down in that big triple cross and Watkins falling in mid-week, defeated by young Ike Sampson and then choked out, in a truly vicious attack, by Tony Starks. SR: I'm beginning to warm up to Starks, Dross. He might have ended the Old Dog's career -- just because he had the itch. You have to admire a man like that. TD: Well, IIWF fans may have to be admiring he and the Fury from afar as injuries will take each man out of the IIWF indefinitely. In fact, the IIWF roster, which has had perhaps more than its customary summer turnover in recent weeks, may be looking at another mass exodus of talent... perhaps in front of and behind the scenes. Recall the previous IIWF triple cross, Steve Roberts -- this type of duplicity, well, it has consequences, and we may not find out until this weekend exactly the depths to which the fallout will travel. SR: Is I updatin' my old resume again, Cap'n Dross? TD: Somehow I think you'll be all right, Steve Roberts. SR: Damn straight. If I could survive nights with the mule in my bed -- I can survive a little good ole' fashioned in-fighting. Speaking of mules... hey waitress -- another t-bone for the hottest thing in all of rasslin'! TD: Let's take one final look at everything that went down from IIWF Saturday Night. ________ ______ | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|.................................................. | || | \ v v / | __| REWIND: IIWF Saturday Night: 4 October |_||_| \_/\_/ |_|.................................................... IIWF World Heavyweight Championship: Brody Thunder d. Requiem IIWF Intercontinental Championship: Chris Quigley d. Creed Duncan Macbeth/Timothy Turner d. Highwayman/Scott Rogers Damage Inc. v. Machines Cruiserweight Contenders Tournament: Dirt Dog Unique Allah d. Phoenix Serge Annis d. Marty Warnett Luke Steele d. Subway Psycho Down Boys d. Natural Predators [Dross is now handed a plateful of raisin toast, getting a warm smile from the waitress as well.] SR: Hey, Dross, I thinks... Lurlene is sweet on you. TD: I believe our waitress just appreciates a man who enjoys fine cuisine. SR: Hell, I think Mel at the grill is sweet on you too. [A paunchy middle aged man in a too tight white t-shirt gives Dross a thumbs up, displaying a tattoo on the underside of his right arm reading, "My other arm is a leg."] TD: Is Mel wearing snakeskin boots? SR: Least it's not muleskin. Hey, Lurlene, how 'bout that steak honey? And bring me a small shake -- and I ain't talkin' milk, if you know what I'm sayin'. TD: Although the world will certainly be talking about the return to the IIWF of J.W. Hardin -- and the subsequent triple cross by the new Champion Brody Thunder -- there were a number of other events that went down at the Coliseum. Chris Quigley defeated Creed in a widly spirited affair that included a brutally graphic attack by one Serge Annis. SR: Here's another guy I'm comin' around on a little, Dross. Not to say I like Culture Club -- and Serge would sure be better off depositing those rejects with Kowalski and Watkins -- but this guy has laid a little lumber lately. Finished second at the battle royal -- beat Warnett this week, and wiped the Coliseum floor with Lebec, Mota and that overrated punk kid Creed. You know what it is, Dross -- it's getting that loser Boy Requiem out of his way... sometimes you just have to clean house, you know what I'm saying? Sometimes you just have to call the topless maid service and say, "Honey, my baseboards need a waxin'." You understand what I'm saying, Dross? TD: I never have any idea what you are saying, Steve Roberts. I do know that Serge Annis has made the wrong enemy around here when he crossed paths with Creed -- and I also know that two men who now seem almost certain to hook up at Ring Wars 4, Duncan Macbeth and Chris Quigley, crossed paths on Saturday Night -- and I have a feeling it will not be for the final time before we make our way to Los Angeles. SR: I like that Macbeth more every time I see him. Not that I have any idea what he's talking about... hell, the guy could be reading Robert Frost for all I know. [Roberts suddenly stands, grabbing his shotglass full of... orange juice... hopping up on the table and motioning the room quiet:] SR: [in deep, almost reverent tones] "The line storm clouds grow tattered and swift, the road is forlorn all day. Where a myriad snowy quartz stones lift - and the hoofprints vanish away. The roadside flower, too wet for the bee, expends its bloom in vain... Come over the hills and far with me... and be my love in the rain." [A small tear rolls down the Soundbite's face as he takes a swig of the orange juice, then sits down to a tumultuous round of applause from the patrons.] TD: Duncan Macbeth certainly wasn't waxing poetic on Saturday Night -- particularly as he and Tim Turner defeated Scott Rogers and the Highwayman, a match that involved the attempted interference of both Derek Mota and Simon Lebec. SR: Would you believe that people actually feel... are you ready for this... sorry for Genesis? I mean, come on, Dross -- these guys ran up and down the IIWF right out of the box... and all we heard was "Genesis wins too much... Genesis wins too much" Now Rogers and the Highwayman take their punking... Cold Spell and Requiem... no gold no place... and what do we hear? What do we hear? "Oh... Genesis needs to win more... don't do that to Genesis..." This stuff is making me sick, Dross. Sick! Sick! Sick! TD: I wasn't aware it was affecting you so seriously, Steve Roberts. SR: Nah, couldn't care less. This steak, however, is really doin' a number on me gastrointestinally, Dross. I feel like someone's taken a Hoover to my small intestine. Nightwing... is that you in there? Hello, Nightwing? TD: We also saw the IIWF tag ranks continue... and this might be our biggest surprise, Steve Roberts -- who would have thought that it would be the tag teams which would potentially provide so much interest as we continue on the Road to Ring Wars IV? SR: Not the Machines. Surprised they're even around today. TD: The Machines have indeed had to prove their mettle, as do all IIWF superstars, they were not only defeated by Damage Inc... but then were attacked by the Harlequins... with apparently, Simon O' Neal doing some type of damage to the knee of Chaos. Damage Inc did not get away unscathed, as their bitter rivalry with the Prophets of Rage continues. SR: I like to see that, Dross. I mean, except for the part where the tag teams wrestle. I can't stand the damn tags. But I like to see guys like Damage Inc and the Prophets of Rage fight to see who is number one... Competition, Dross -- it's all about competition. Right? TD: Absolutely. SR: Nah, cigarettes, barbeque sauce, strippers and the occasional traumatic head wound. That's what it's all about. Competition's for girls trying to sell the most girl scout cookies. TD: I like the thin mints, myself. SR: I bet you do, you freaky sonofabitch. TD: Thin mints are cookies, Steve Roberts. Cookies. SR: Hey, whatever puts the old oar in the water, you know what I'm sayin'? TD: The Cruiserweight Contender tournament also continued. Dirt Dog Unique Allah showed some of that Age of the Rage viciousness in disposing of the Phoenix. [Roberts begins to slowly disappear under the table.] SR: Mysterious force... dragging me under... must reach my utility belt... what could be pulling _me_ down... Oh, it's just Nightwing. Get on up here, Nightwing, and have some raisin toast! TD: As previously mentioned, Serge Annis defeated Marty Warnett with more than a little help from a man who is apparently Stud Stetson... is he making his return to the IIWF? I have no idea -- but he has certainly targetted Marty Warnett. SR: Should aim a little higher. Like Gecko or Smooth. Hell, maybe we can draw some heat with a D'amato/Stetson program. 'Bout time the refs 'round here took a bump for the company. TD: They'd be the only ones who haven't. We also saw the Down Boys score a big win over the other newcomer tag team, the Natural Predators... but it was LFD... making what has become a customary appearance... continue to show some domination of the tag ranks by blasting the Down Boys following the match. SR: Down Boys. Do I make the "what a perfect name for a team with two gay guys" gag now or after they get a push? TD: And, in what has to be a tremendous upset -- it was Luke Steele -- Luke Steele garnering a huge upset win over the Subway Psycho. You have to be impressed with the recent performance of the "Real Deal". SR: And... yet again... the Psycho loses. No, Dross -- I ain't impressed with Steele -- the guy is working a little bit... okay... does that suddenly mean he doesn't suck? Absolutely not... it's just good to see the IIWF has finally exposed the Psycho for the utter fraud that he is. Good for you IIWF! Now about that expense account... TD: We also had a piece of footage that we showed all of the great fans on IIWF Saturday Night: it was of my recent visit with the former Intercontinental Champion Lord Byron -- who seems to be quite the changed man since his retirement from professional wrestling... Part II of my conversation with the great Byron is coming up... right now. ________ ______ | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|.................................................. | || | \ v v / | __| UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL: Lord Byron |_||_| \_/\_/ |_|.................................................... [The scene switches to the inside of a restaurant in Portland. Tim Dross is sat at a table near the windows, idly glancing through a pastries menu, which he hurridly puts back down when the doors open and a usher steps through. He holds the door open, through which steps the besuited figure of former IIWF Intercontinental Champion Lord Byron, arm in arm with his beautiful valet, the Lady DeWinter. Byron glances around the room, then casually walks across to Dross, pulling the chair out for DeWinter to sit down first, and then taking his own place opposite Dross.] TD: Welcome again, Byron... and welcome of course to the ever lovely Lady DeWinter. And thanks once again for taking the time out to talk to us. DeW: It's always a pleasure, Mr. Dross. LB: [smirking] I'm sure it is. [Byron ducks away as DeWinter hits Byron's arm lightly, smiling and flushing with embarrassment.] LB: Forgive me, Milady. What I meant to say is that it is always an honour to meet up with some of our old friends. [Byron smirks] No offense intended. DeW: [hitting out again] None taken. TD: *ahem* [Byron's eyes glitter with amusement as he watches Dross shuffle uncomfortably.] LB: I'm sorry, Mr. Dross, I didn't mean to cause any embarrassment. Maybe we should move on, no? TD: Byron, you told us in your previous interview -- and half mentioned it today, that you had become disenchanted. And you also mentioned that it was the Lady DeWinter to helped you see there was still a great deal you could contribute. [Byron smiles and glances across at the Lady DeWinter before answering] LB: Indeed. Milady was a great help. I was at rock bottom, you see, Mr. Dross. Exiled, and wasting my time doing nothing, I was becoming irritable, and starting to make a real nuisance of myself. [Byron smirks] Milady simply wouldn't stand for it. DeW: [reaching across to hit at Byron again] And so I took him to an academy for young wrestlers. It wasn't long before he was running the place. LB: It didn't take long for me to become enthralled with the idea of teaching, Mr. Dross -- one of my strengths always was being a fast learner, and so I endeavored to pass on as much of my knowledge to the youngsters as possible. And I picked up a few things myself in the process. DeW: In those first few weeks, Byron was a shadow of the man you once knew. No drive, no motivation, he wouldn't even talk. He seemed so full of anger and despair, and trying to deal with it all himself was practically eating him away. LB: [smirking] My, Milady, what a pretty picture you paint. But it is only too true, of course... at first I couldn't deal with what I had done... what I had lost. All in all, Mr. Dross, DeWinter helped me to realise that there was still a place in this sport for me. I actually began to enjoy training again - something I never thought possible at the time. TD: Last time we met, Byron, we talked about your life after the IIWF, and also about that fateful match with Creed that led to your untimely -- in my eyes, at least -- departure. I'm sorry if I'm touching a nerve here, Byron, but there was one other event on that night at Coronation Clash, one other event which must have made your departure from the IIWF much worse. LB: You're talking, I presume, about the actions of my erstwhile colleague, Herr Otto Verhoeven. TD: Well Byron, it must after all have been the perfect end to your evening. Looking at the reaction of Verhoeven, it seems clear to me that his animosity had been building up for some time. Forget for a second about the career ending match -- that attack by Verhoeven could have ended your career for good. [DeWinter bites her lip and looks away, but Byron merely raises an eyebrow with a smirk.] LB: Mr. Dross, surely you must be mistaken. It takes more than a few cheap shots and a modified chokeslam to keep me down. TD: I wouldn't say this was a laughing matter, Byron... LB: And you would be absolutely right. Of all the mistakes I made during my time in the IIWF, Verhoeven was one of the worst. Don't get me wrong, Mr. Dross. I still respect his ability one hundred percent. He is one of the most powerful brawlers... [Byron shrugs ruefully] ...one of the most dangerous individuals in the sport. But his attitude -- I should have realised that he would not settle for second best. That he would resent being out of the spotlight. Because that is the kind of man he is, Mr. Dross -- he needs to be center stage. Maybe if the shoe had been on the other foot, I would have attempted the same. Or maybe not. But just like my match with Creed, I had plenty of time to reflect on the attack, plenty of time to question his motives, plenty of time to regret. But as I said earlier, I had lost my desire to compete. I actually surprised myself in those few weeks while I recovered, Mr Dross. I felt no anger towards the man, no rage or desire for revenge. Besides, what good would it have done anyway? No, I felt nothing of the sort. Only pity. And a certain sense of amusement. TD: Pity? Amusement? Byron, the man could have crippled you! He could have ended... LB: What, my career? [Byron smirks] Already gone, Mr. Dross. I was hardly in a position to worry about that. But in doing so -- in his turn on me, he thrust himself straight back into the spotlight. Ironic, no? You see Mr. Dross, it wasn't the physical attack that hurt the most. It was the gross, misplaced slander he heaped upon me as he did so. The European Alliance, as I had always said, was based upon mutual respect and a desire to be the very best. Or at least so I thought. Verhoeven made it no secret from me that he wanted a second World Title reign -- and I encouraged him to make the attempt. Indeed, instead of pushing for a title shot of my own, I concentrated on defending the IC title. But instead of demanding a run in, he allowed himself to slip. He became obsessed with trying to destroy the likes of Tony Starks and Duncan Macbeth -- and he failed, and he suffered as a result. Verhoeven became a shadow of his former self -- and that's when I believe the resentment started to build. TD: Certainly there were rumours of discontent within the Alliance flying around... LB: But even then we were still a force to be feared. Each of us, not any single individual. No matter what Herr Verhoeven thought, I never relied on him for anything. I never tried to use him, and I certainly didn't want to hold him back. Quite the opposite in fact. But what's done is done, Mr. Dross. And Otto certainly appears to have benefited from the experience anyway. [Byron shrugs] Good luck to the man. I have nothing else to add on the matter. TD: Once again, Byron, thank you for your time in speaking to us. It's certainly been an insightful look into your career. Good luck with your future ventures. LB: [smirking] And good luck with Steve Roberts. Tell the man that if he insists on gambling on a sport as volatile as professional wrestling, he deserves everything he gets. Ciao. [Byron rises and shakes hands with Dross before taking DeWinter's arm and walking out of the restaurant. Dross watches as they leave, and then picks up the pastries menu again and sits back down. The scene fades out.] ________ ______ | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|.................................................. | || | \ v v / | __| FIRST LOOK: Wednesday War Room: 8 October |_||_| \_/\_/ |_|.................................................... [Dross is brought an overwhelmingly heaping plateful of hash browns as the jukebox now plays Garth Brooks' "Friends in Low Places."] SR: Christ, Dross... what the hell is that? TD: Hash browns, Steve Roberts. Hash browns. Chunked, chopped, smothered, covered and diced. Food of the Gods. SR: You got yourself a cardiothoracic surgeon on your payroll, Dross? TD: Big card coming to you from Carowinds right here in Charlotte this Wednesday Night... here is your _First Look_ at all the action. ---------------------------------------- Equalizers vs. The Barnacle Brothers Ike Sampson vs. "Nifty" Ned Norton Prophets of Rage vs. Masked Marauders Ronnie Paris vs. Scott "the Whine" Bloom Tonnage vs. Ricardo LeBleu ---------------------------------------- TD: Well, a number of IIWF superstars will showcase their talents on the War Room... including some hometown stars when both the Equalizers and Ike Sampson are in action. Big win for Ike Sampson last week, Steve Roberts. SR: Surprised Al Sharpton wasn't out protesting, Dross. All the brothers turning on each other like that. Self destruction, my brothers... you're headin' for self-destruction. TD: We'll see the Prophets of Rage -- currently considered by many the number one tag team in all the world, who are locked in what looks to be a great feud with a team which was previously considered the best tag team in the world -- Damage Inc. SR: It's startin' to grow on me a little, Dross. This tag stuff. You know what would make it even better... is if they only wrestled one at a time. That would be excellent. TD: We'll also see the biggest man in the IIWF, Tonnage -- and what is interesting about his matchup with the newest member of the JJS, LeBleu, is that LeBleu is one of the smallest competitors in all of wrestling. That should be... noteworthy. SR: Canvas pizza for the Phat Boy. TD: We also have Ronnie Paris -- who has advanced on to Round Two of the Cruiserweight Contenders tournament -- and will meet Simon Lebec next week. SR: Was Shakespeare taking some kind of poll of the morons at the Coliseum on Saturday? Inbreds for Shakespeare! That kind of thing? TD: There may not be any rivalry in the IIWF that is more interesting than this long simmering feud between Ronnie Paris and Billy Shakespeare -- two men who are so very different in temperament from one another. You have to wonder what's going to happen next between these two superstars. SR: Love? Exciting and new? ------------------------------------------ High Plains Drifters vs. Natural Predators ------------------------------------------ TD: The former tag champs the High Plains Drifters have yet to regain their old form -- speculation is, indeed, that their recent sobriety has taken some of the old edge off their games. SR: All the great ones have been drunk, Dross. Richard Burton. Drunk. Teddy Roosevelt. Drunk. Dean Martin. Drunk. Dan Spreadbury. Stoned. See the difference, kids? Just say no. ------------------------------ The Machines vs. The Down Boys ------------------------------ TD: Big win for the Down Boys on Saturday Night -- and they'll look to follow up with a big match against one of the excellent young teams in the IIWF, the Machines. SR: Well, I like that O'Neal... he showed some guts last week against the Quins... but the rest of them -- ah, don't know who they are -- don't care who they are. --------------------------- Derek Mota vs. Scott Rogers --------------------------- TD: The Main Event on the War Room should be a real doozy, the Cruiserweight Champion will meet a man with whom he has a definite clash of personalities, Scott Rogers. SR: The little Canadian bastard's gonna hurt him in so many different ways, Dross. Gonna hurt him high -- gonna hurt him low... gonna hurt him two times. Two times, baby dolls. Two times! TD: It's LaRue... it's Morton... and it's the War Room, coming tomorrow night! ________ ______ | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|.................................................. | || | \ v v / | __| FIRST LOOK: IIWF Saturday Night: 11 October |_||_| \_/\_/ |_|.................................................... 1. NON-TITLE MATCH: "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder vs. Otto "the Butcher" Verhoeven 2. "Outlaw" J.W. Hardin vs. The Phoenix 3. IIWF INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley [c] vs. Serge Annis 4. "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare vs. Tony Starks 5. Prophets of Rage vs. Licensed for Devastation 6. The Harlequins vs. The Machines 7. Duncan Macbeth vs. "Real Deal" Luke Steele 8. IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT TOURNAMENT FIRST ROUND: Dexter St. Croix vs. "One Man Army" Dakota Bundy [A man in a trenchcoat wearing two different kind of shoes shakily walks up to the counter...demanding three strips of bacon without fat. Dross is almost finished with a second sausage sandwich] SR: Damn, Dross. You're hungrier than Marv Albert -- you know, that should have been his defense, "Your honor... I's jus' so hungry for back." TD: Sort of puts a new spin on the phrase "Starvin' like Marvin'." SR: Hah! You da man, Dross! You're gonna get them all out tonight, aren't you? Gather ye rosebuds, Big Man. TD: Well, it won't be poetry corner this Saturday Night -- when the IIWF hits the Charlotte Coliseum all hell is gonna break loose -- at least, if it hasn't already. We have Thunder and the Butcher -- the legendary "Outlaw" is scheduled to compete... Chris Quigley -- you talk about a working champion, folks -- Chris Quigley puts his IC belt back on the line against Serge Annis. SR: And Starks, Tony Starks gets to put another old dog down when he meets Seth Blitzsphere. TD: That's Billy Shakespeare, Steve Roberts. We also have those two big tag matches, the Harlequins, even with the injury to Chaos, meet the Machines and the Prophets of Rage will once again hook up with LFD. SR: Two other matches... I don't know who they are... Oh yeah... Macbeth! I'm startin' to dig on that Macbeth, Dross -- he'll kick Steele's ass, "Use the force, Luke" -- cause you don't have the maneuvers to stand up to the Scotsman. TD: And in the last match of Round One of the Cruiserweight Contenders tournament... Dexter St. Croix will meet Dakota Bundy. [The young man with two different kinds of shoes is now banging his head against the counter... yelling that he can't find a Waffle House to give him his no-fat bacon. He is weeping openly, yelling that Dale, the cook with the snakeskin boots is "stealing his fat free bacon dream".] TD: Good grief. SR: You know what they say about the IIWF, Dross. TD: Everything will happen? SR: The other thing. TD: No Love. No Learnin'? SR: Nah, the other thing. TD: I don't have any idea. SR: It's a nice place to visit -- but if you want some fat free bacon you are screwed, daddy. You are screwed. TD: It's the finest two hours of wrestling anywhere in the world -- it is IIWF Saturday Night... live from the Charlotte Coliseum. ________ ______ | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|.................................................. | || | \ v v / | __| COMING FRIDAY: Countdown to Saturday Night |_||_| \_/\_/ |_|.................................................... [Lurlene clears away the last dish, Dross' Delicious Pie, and brings a check... the size of which appears to make Dross blanche.] TD: That's all the time we have tonight. Tune in for all the great IIWF programming -- War Room, Countdown -- all the way through to the big, big card on Saturday Night. I'm Tim Dross -- he's the Soundbite... good night! SR: In a bit of a hurry, Dross? TD: Well, Steve Roberts...we have a bit of a situation. It seems that I am... well, a little short on the check here. SR: Don't look at me, Dross -- you know I never carry cash. The occasional dubloon, yes, and my collection of Bulldog Brown memorabilia -- but nothing these waffle lovin' morons would understand the value of. TD: Well, I believe I have some dishes to wash, Steve Roberts. SR: Screw that, buddy. [Roberts then hops to feet - motions to Dross and then, in a loud whisper says:] SR: I hear Dale keeps his personal stash of fat free bacon in the back near his collection of penguin paraphenalia. [The young man in the trenchcoat leaps the counter... nearly bowling over Dale as Lurlene begins to scream and the proverbial "all hell breaks loose", patrons begin yelling, dishes break and the words "Give me the bloody bacon!" are heard from the kitchen. Roberts takes another slug of orange juice, jabs a quick quarter in the jukebox, throws on his sunglasses and says:] SR: Let's ride. [AC/DC's "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" plays as Dross and Roberts sprint from the Waffle House and into a waiting '93 Firebird in which Busdriver/Pilot Nils sits with a sleeping The Smooth. Dross and Roberts dive into the backseat... speeding off into the night as Dale is now seen throwing open the door of the Waffle House and waving a frying pan... as the music fades... the faint words, "I still respect you, Bookerman" are heard, followed by a giggle and then the screen going black.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Jim Jividen | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | brokeback@webtv.net | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+