[Fog covers a rotting graveyard.  Into this eerie scene emerges a screaming Becky LaRue, her dress in tatters. Stereotypically, she trips on a tree root, sprawling in the dirt.  From behind her comes a trio of Universal Studios' famous monsters: Dracula... The Wolf Man... Frankenstein's Monster.  Becky stumbles to her feet, running in an opposite direction. Suddenly she grinds to a halt, behind her the monsters too come to an abrupt stop. Their eyes grow wide in horror... Becky points and her mouth gapes noiselessly. The camera pans around to reveal what she sees...]                           ________      _______                           | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|                           | || | \ v  v / | __|                           |_||_|  \_/\_/  |_|                         __ __       __ _______  ___                  |    //_  / | /| //_ /__   / | /__|\__/                  | / //   /  // |//      \ /  //   /  /                  |/|//__ /__//  //_______//__//   /__/                        ___  ___      ___   ________                  |    //__| /__\     /__\  /  //  //|/|                  | / //   //   \    /   \ /  //  // / |                  |/|//   //    /   /    //__//__//    |                  --------------------------------------                             October 29  1997                            *LiVE* From Universal Studios Backlot                         Universal City, California [We find our crack War Room announce team on a greensward in the middle of the Universal Studios backlot. Behind them rises a massive building, familiar to most as the "Courthouse" from the Back to the Future films.] LM: Clever introduction, Becky. BL: If I weren't a wrestler, I would have been an actress. LM: Wrestlers make great actors.  I think the many films starring a     certain balding antique who calls himself "Hollywood" proves that. BL: I did appear briefly in the documentary "Sweat On the Mat."  You can hardly find that on video anymore.  Must have been my shower scene. LM: Speaking of video... we're happy to be doing War Room again.  Two weeks ago we were on the road, last week our communications feed went out in the middle of the Marty Warnett/Highwayman match. BL: Usually Warnett's face only breaks mirrors. LM: Um, yeah.  Well, our producer completely unravelled... BL: He should be used to pain.  He's a St. Louis Rams fan. LM: ...only the fast action of our President Spreadbury assured a broadcast last week. BL: That'll be the only time you hear "Spreadbury" and "fast action" in     the same sentence. LM: Well, it's back to usual this week. BL: Last week was too bad.  We might have lost the valuable New Mexico     television market.  Whose brain thrust was that?  The same guy who     took us to the Four Corners monument?  LM: Because Dross and Roberts are the "A" team.  They go to Disneyland. BL: I understand that Roberts was a surprise guest for "It's a Small World After All". LM: Speaking of the "A" Team... if you take the Universal Tour tram they     show you the Van used in the show.  [Doing a dreadful Mr. T     impression]  "Murdock... you're crazy" BL: Yes, and the tour will also take you by the "Psycho" house. LM: Please don't remind me. BL: Why don't you tell everyone how you enjoyed the four storey water slide in the "Jurassic Park" ride. LM: I tell you... My pants were wet from the water.  NOTHING ELSE! BL: Suuuuure, Larry. LM: Ring Wars... November 8. Call your cable operator now. BL: Your cable was operating okay during the Jurassic Ride. LM: It was the water fall! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Marty Warnett's Attacker vs Casey C ------------------------------------------------------------------------     This as-to-be-named wrestler strutted ringside with his huge     bodyguard, the long abandoned "Superstar" Belt over the shoulder of a plaid shirt.  The giant wore a "#1 WARNETT FAN!!" Tee.  The wrestler tried to slap hands and sign autogrpahs, but the fans didn't have much interest.  Once he was in the ring, there was a murmur from the top of the "Courthouse" where Marty Warnett stood, baseball bat in one hand, a bound Scott "the Whine" Bloom in the other, an apple stuck in his mouth.  As he dropped the bound jobber, the seven foot Bodyguard stepped from behind, leveling Warnett with a forearm.  Quickly the JJS, elegantly dressed in "There's No Justice like Jobber Justice" shirts, pulled Marty to safety.  Like a flash, the ever ready Casey C paraded to the ring to take "Nifty" Ned's place in the ring.     The mystery wrestler was a complete gentleman, shaking the referee's     hand, then offering the same to Casey C.  The handshake was never     campleted as Casey was on the recieving end of a kick to the     mid-section.  Then the assult began.  This new wrestler unleashed     a series of breathtaking aerial moves:  A moonsault, Hurricarana,     springboard planchas.  Suddenly, the gentleman who entered the ring      was gone, as he gave "the finger" to the audience, and made     suggestions to Casey while grabbing his crotch.  Eventually he     appeared to tire of this type of sport, grabbing Casey in a Cobra     Clutch on the top rope, then driving him into the canvas.  His man     down, insult was added to injury as he locked on a reverse figure four and full nelson.  Casey screamed his submission.  Despite the victory, he wouldn't let loose the hold until the big Guard conviced him to, at which point he was handed a can of spray paint which he used to write "The Brat Was Here" on the mat.  Calling for the mic, he added: MYSTERY MAN: And that's all I have to say about that.  [chuckles then     throws the mic at the side of Casey C.]     He returned backstage, stopping only to steal a drink from an eight     year old fan at ringside. RESULT: Loss by Casey C. [by submission] LM: I'm not sure who this man is, but it appears that Marty Warnett is in trouble. BL: Why? Is Marty pregnant? LM: That was just plain silly.  BL: So is Dross's hair, but that doesn't stop him either. LM: Speaking of wearing unnatural things, how did this man, who obviously _isn't_ Stud Stetson, get ahold of the "Superstar" belt? BL: Indeed.  Last we saw that belt, it was in a trophy case at the Hall of Fame. LM: I thought "Spur" gave it to you during a "LaRue's Lair" segement. BL: He did.  But the IIWF gave me big bucks to put it in the HOF. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Harle-Spell vs The Barnacle Brothers ------------------------------------------------------------------------     Harlequin Chaos and Edmund Fitzgerald looked good, though Chaos was     wearing a large brace on his injured leg.  Despite this appliance,     Chaos mostly dominated this match by himself.  With the end drawing     near, Chaos delivered a knee lift with his injured leg which dropped     Barnacle Bluto like sack of jellyfish.  The referee quickly stopped     the match, demanding to examine Chaos's knee brace, but the Harlequin ignored him, locking on the "sanity Breaker" claw-slam.     Immediately, Liscensed for Devestation made their appearance, standing in the audience and taunting the victors.  Before they could enter the ring, the Cold Quins arrived, quickly driving LFD to the back. Tensely, the split halves of The Harlequins and Cold Spell faced each other.  The Harlequins exchanged a tense hug, then the four men who will face each other at Ring Wars IV left the ring together. RESULT: Harle-Spell by Pinfall LM: Which team is more coherent?  Harle-Spell or the Cold Quins? BL: Which one has the stupider name? LM: Name or no, one of them MUST be the victor over his tag partner. BL: Speaking of names, what to you call two homosexual Scotsmen? LM: I don't wanna know. BL: Gerald Fits-edmund... and Edmund Fits-gerald! LM: I don't get it. BL: You don't?  Then why do you walk that way? LM: Is this a Duncan Macbeth thing? BL: Um.  Ring Wars IV.  November 8. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Serge Annis vs. Scott "The Whine" Bloom ------------------------------------------------------------------------     Scott Rogers came ringside, ostensibly to scout Annis for Saturday.     Serge brought with him to the ring the red steel chair, last seen on     Saturday, when Creed brought it to the ring.  This gave "The Whine"     cause to complain, but Bloom's torment had just begun. Annis traded in his regular wrestling methods for humiliating ones. Following each move, he would slap his opponent across the face, shouting loudly, "So, you wanna be a superstar?"  Not one to handle embarrasment, and his pride still wounded from Marty Warnett's     earlier trussing, Bloom was soon open for any attack Serge wanted     to make.  In this case, Annis chose to place the steel chair on the     mat and chokeslam "The Whine" into it. Despite the ringing bell,     Serge added yet another chokeslam onto the chair to send out     a message to Rogers and others.     After the pin, Scott Rogers headed towards the ring; what his     intentions were will never be known, as he was intercepted by Subway Psycho as he launched himself from the crowd. The two locked up for action packed minutes until the Psycho was able to drive Rogers to the back.  Meanwhile, at ringside, half a dozen black men     wearing red and black shirts blazoned "Anyone... Anywhere... Anytime" approached and dumped bails of barbed wire in the ring.  The significance of this, the Barbed Wire Elimination Match at Ring Wars, was not lost on Annis. RESULT: Serge Annis by pinfall LM: It's heating up for Ring Wars. BL: Oh, that's what it is.  I just thought my pantyhose were too tight. LM: Rogers accused the Subway Psycho of being a has-been.  I bet he'll be rethinking that. BL: Right. He'll realize that the Subway Stinker is actually a "never-was." LM: To say nothing of the barbed wire match pitting Creed against Annis. BL: How did those youths manage to smuggle barbed wire in here? LM: I... I don't know. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Duncan Macbeth vs. El Super Gecko ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Before this match, "Nifty" Ned Norton, his JJS cap on backwards,     came to the ring with Gecko and Jumpin' Jack.  Suddenly, the three     struck a pose, Norton and Gecko holding their arms in the shape of     a "J", Jack adding the "S".  Norton demanded the microphone: NN:  We're the JJS, gonna tell you why      We're the heart of the W. F. Double-I      If you fight one of us, you're gonna fight three      If you fight him, then you met him, him and me.      Only one Justice, Jobber Style      Give us an inch, we'll take a mile.      You better fight hard, you better fight clean      Or the JJS will make the scene. ALL: Word!      [The crowd explodes at this rap as Gecko is left in the ring.]          Sadly, the match took nowhere as long as its introduction as the     featherweight Gecko was no match for the massive Scotsman.  No doubt     inspired by Becky's humor, Macbeth never let the Gecko near him.  The increasingly pro-Macbeth crowd cheered Macbeth, who still bore the scars of his Saturday encouter, giving him increased confidence.  Perhaps playing to the crowd, Duncan continued his assault well after his opponant was defeated, then mercifully finished him off wih the "Claymore".  Duncan stopped long enough to hold up a sign reading "Scotland + U.S.A. = Intercontinental Champion". RESULT:  Duncan Macbeth by pinfall LM: Duncan looks primed for Ring Wars. BL: This is one of those times that really tears me up.  A much as I would hate seeing MacBean as champion, that would mean Quigley would have to win.  A dilemna like this could give a girl hives. LM: I think that Macbeth would be a fine IC champ. BL: What is that words he keeps using "dinnae"?  Isn't that what you eat    after lunch? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "One Man Army" Dakota Bundy vs. Richard "Moxy" Blue ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Bundy and his manager Malone came to the ring with Scott Rogers at     their side.  With that combination, it wasn't long before this match     was replaced by chaos.   The bout was remarkable even until Blue hit     Bundy with a high boot.  Blue went for the cover, only to be pulled     off by Scott Rogers.  Tired of Rogers' constant interference during     the match, Moxy unloaded a right hand on Rogers.  Immediately, Blue     found himself the unwitting target of a triple team:  Bundy, Rogers,     and "The Mouth" Malone.  Blue's savior came in the suprising form of     the Highwayman, who pulled Blue back into the ring to break the count. Equally surprising was Scott Rogers, who immediately went down on his knees, apologizing to Highwayman, admitting he made some mistakes, asking why things couldn't be just like old times again, wishing Genesis could re-form.  Warily, Highwayman walked over to him, only to be clotheslined by the less than repentant Rogers.  Moments later, all four men were going at it, the referee calling for help. In the midst of the confusion, "Moxy" Blue made it to the ringropes, launching the "True Blue" springboard somersault senton backsplash on Dakota Bundy.  The ref dropped to his knees and slapped a quick three count on Bundy to the delight of the crowd and the confusion of Malone and Rogers.  The three quickly escaped the ring, only to have their way blocked by a concessions vendor.  The vendor quickly smashed Dakota Bundy with a tray of popcorn, Dakota dropping in a hail of buttered snacks.  Astutely, Scott Rogers military pressed the vendor, whose cap fell off to reveal the natty dreads of Dexter St. Croix. Rogers sent St. Croix flying into the crowd while Matt Malone picked popcorn from his man's hair. RESULT: Richard "Moxy" Blue by pinfall LM: More bad blood leading into ring wars. BL: "Bad Blood"?  Wasn't that someone else's PPV? LM: The final nail will be stuck in the Genesis coffin when Scott Rogers     squares off against The Highwayman. BL: Maybe not.  As they say in Hollywood, there's always a sequel. LM: Speaking of which, why has no one else ever thought of wrestling at     Universal Studios before? BL: They... oh, never mind. LM: This is great.  We've got the "Waterworld" attraction... the "Backdraft" studio.   We've probably even got the old sets from "Gone with the Wind." BL: That was MGM, Larry. LM: Then how about those great Bugs Bunny cartoons? BL: Warner Brothers.  Don't confuse yourself, and let's roll the clip. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Dexter St. Croix & Kevin "The Cavalier" Christiansen vs. "The Real Deal" Luke Steele & "Savage" Shadoe Rage ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [The scene is a crowded apartment, mostly male. It is apparent that the crowd is glued to the television, watching game 7 of the World Series. Dexter sits in a leather reclining chair, dressed in khaki shorts and a black IIWF t-shirt. He is smoking a hand-rolled cigarette and sipping from a water bottle...] DSC: Dis 'ere party, it ain't only for watchin' de World Series, mon, it's also to celebrate de new an' improved Dexter St. Croix. [Dex takes a drag from his smoke...] DSC: Ya see, mon, de _old_ Dexter St. Croix, 'im mighta got a little frustrated by losin' to Ronnie Paris Saturday night. But de _new_ Dexter St. Croix, 'im see de loss to Ronnie Paris as part o' de master plan. De master plan dat is gonna put Dexter St. Croix in the upper strata o' de IIWF, where 'im belong. De redefinin' o' de way Dexter does bus'ness. De time 'as come for ol' Dex to get 'im respect. An' I'm gonna get me respect even if I gotta beat it out o' every single one o' ya. [Dex sips from his water bottle...] DSC: So dis Wednesday night, de IIWF is teamin' me up wid de "Cavalier" to meet de "Real Deal" an' Shadoe Rage. I got dis to say to de Cavalier... come strong or don' come at all, mon, 'cause Dex ain't goin' out like no punk. Peace out. [The crowd erupts as Edgar Renteria singles up the middle to bring Florida it's first World Series championship. The scene fades to black. Fade up from black to a hallway inside the Universal Studios lot. Standing in front of the camera is "The Real Deal" Luke Steele, clad in jeans and a black leather jacket over top of his white "Beware the Steele Machine" t-shirt.] LS: Seems the in-thing to do right now is team guys up with strange choices of partners.  Look at the tag team champions, the Cold Quins.  You've got the Dogs of Rage I suppose, and everybody's least favorite team, Tim Dross and Steve Roberts. But now, the wise IIWF committee has seen it fit to pair the Real Deal up with Shadoe Rage, a former World Tag Team Champion.  I haven't got a problem with Shadoe, nor do I have a problem with our opponents on Wednesday, Dexter St. Croix and Kevin Christiansen.  Hell, Christiansen is my type of guy, calling himself the Cavalier.  I'm from Cleveland, remember? What you fans are going to see this Wednesday is a match of the year candidate.  Shadoe and myself compliment each other's ring styles very well, and those other two are fine cruiserweight competitors that could beat the hell outta Ronnie Paris. So to recap, no problems with Rage, St. Croix, or Christiansen.  Just clean, wholesome, wrestling.  Take notes Turner, Paris, and Annis, who I still haven't forgotten about. [Fade to to the action]     This match started with Shadoe Rage taking the microphone and     announcing that he didn't leave a successful tag team to take part     in a second-rate one.  With that, Shadoe left the ring, and there     was general discussion as a suitable replacement was found.  El     Super Gecko was about to get the "go" when it was announced that     Alex Rio would team with Luke Steele.   The match started innocently     enough, but it wasn't long before Licensed for Devastation's     Jonathan Chaos rushed the ring, grabbing Luke Steele off the apron and DDTing him into the ringside steps.  Not so suprisingly, this brought The Machines to Steele's defense, the action in the ring coming to a stop as Reggie Starr also left the backstage area to stand by his LFD team-mate.  That brawl eventually made its way backstage and allowed the match to continue in ernest.     St. Croix carried through on his vow to fight tougher, trying     uppercut shots on the bigger Steele and taking Rio outside whenever     possible to slam him into the steps and guardrail.  His opponent,     Steele, showed a more technical side, placing Christiansen in a     standing Boston crab, and another time almost placing St. Croix in     a torture rack.   With no clear winner yet in sight, a tornado hit the ring.  That tornado was the return of Shadoe Rage who dropped St. Croix with a spinwheel kick, then promptly laid into Alex Rio,     delivering closed fist blows to him in the corner.  Christiansen went for the save, only to be intercepted by Steele, and before long all five men were going at it, any semblance of teams long since     abandoned.     The continued banging of the ringbell signalled the arrival of the     JJS, who dragged the feuding warriors apart.  Christiansen offered his hand to St. Croix, only to have it ignored, Dexter whispering a     Jamaican insult under his breath.  Steele and Rio got into a brief     shoving match in the aisle.  Steele slapped him, and Rio retailiated     by bulldogging Steele into the guardrails.  Christiansen followed     St. Croix asking for an explanation for the insult, Dexter told him     to back off.     In the ring, the JJS all simultaniously shredded their "No Justice     Jobber Justice" to reveal new ones underneath reading "...And Jobber     Justice for All"  With "Y.M.C.A." playing over the sound system, the     JJS struck their hand poses, the audince joining them.  As they left, Ned Norton's voice could be whispering over the soundtrack "J.J.S... toooo Niiiifty!" RESULT: No Contest. LM: Not coincidentally, these four wrestlers, Mr. Rage not included,     will meet again at Ring Wars in the Free For All. BL: Coincidence that.  Them meeting now and all. LM: Hush, Becky, it's best not to question the ways of the IIWF. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Damage Incroporated vs. The Equalizers ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Damage Incorporated looked every bit ready for Ring Wars by manhandling the fading Equalizers.  "The Ace" Alex Porteax worked     his repertoire of technical moves, before tagging in the destructive     "Mad Dog" Eddy Ramos.  Part way through the match, the Prophets: Dirt Dog Unique Allah and Derek Rage entered ringside.  However, there was no interferance to keep Damage Inc. from destroying Sampson and Paulson aka The Equalizers.  The Prophets had long left ringside by the time DI landed "The End" reverse blockbuster/bearhug DDT. RESULT: Damage Incorporated by pinfall LM: I would wager that this is the last time we ever see The Equalizers. BL: That's one bet I _won't_ take, Larry. LM: Two teams that we _will_ be seeing more of are Damage Incorporated and this current incarnation of the Prophets of Rage. BL: Wild guess.  Ring Wars. LM: It's November 8th, you know. BL: No kidding.  Hadn't heard. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Prophets vs. High Plains Drifters ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [Cut to the Drifters, backstage before their bout.] PALE RIDER: I know y'all don't understand what me an' Easy are goin' through. EASY RIDER: We're clean and sober an' we're a gonna stay that way. PR: Clean livin' and clean fightin' for us from now on. ER: That's why we fired Josey Wales... the man was a bad influence. PR: Prophets of Rage... we're going to beat you fair and square in the center of the ring. ER: Prepare for Magnum Force! [Cut to the evening's action.]     This was a constrast of styles.  The Drifters looked just that, still trying to regain the rhythem that made them past champions.  The Prophets looked tight, sending out a message to Damage Incorporated. That message was heard, as DI was found watching the match backstage on a monitor.  Also watching, but from the stands, was Shadoe Rage, obviously keeping an eye on his brother's team.  The Prophets were smooth, making fluid tags, but still fighting loose; laughing and joking with each other.  The Drifters were obviously confused, and their situation didn't improve any when Josey Wales came ringside, yelling at his past charges to show they're men, demanding an eye gouge and offering to hand them, the ring bell.  Wales held up a bottle of Kessler's Best, asking if they needed a drink to re-find their balls.  Pale Rider got into a shouting match over the rope, and Wales cracked him over the head with the whiskey bottle. The ref didn't notice, and Pale staggered back into the ring only to have Dirt Dog slingshot him into Derek's "Hammer of God" head claw dunk.  Dirt Dog made the quick cover.  Afterwards, Dirt Dog accepted the bottle of Kessler's from Josey Wales, spitting a mouthful on the prone form of Pale and muttering:  "What's your name?  My name's Dirt Dog and you're a alcoholic muhfuh!"  Damage Incorporated made their appearance at the top of the aisle, but quick action by the officials kept the two teams apart. RESULT: Prophets by Pinfall. BL: What was Dirt Dog going on about?  Isn't _that_ the pot calling the kettle black? LM: Either way these Prophets are for real.  Sadly, the Drifters are     mere shells of themselves. [At that moment, a woman dressed as "Xena: Warrior Princess" walks by. By no means as attractive as Lucy Lawless, she has equally ample assets.] LM: How about that.  You gotta like a place like this. BL: Pull your tongue in, Morton. LM: You could dress like that for Halloween, Becky.  On that subject, I'm going to dress as a pirate.  What are you going as, Becky? BL: A clown. LM: I'm okay with that. BL: Where did you say you buy your wardrobe? LM: That's all for tonight, folks. Watch Ring Wars on Nevember 8, watch me tomorrow.  Look for Becky at the Golden Grapple awards.  Other than that, you won't be seeing us for a long while. [The camera pulls out over the Universal Studio lots.  Shots of people standing in long lines at the amusement attractions, before swooping over the backlot revealling the western streets, Hometown, Norman Bates' mother's house, before craning up to reveal "Hollywood" in huge white letters where they stand on their mountainside.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Jim Jividen | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | brokeback@webtv.net | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+