________ ______ | || |\ \ /\ / /| __| | || | \ v v / | __| |_||_| \_/\_/ |_| ___________ ______ ______ ____ ___ ___ | ___/| \ | ____\| ____\ F | \ | | | | _| |___| |> /_| |____| |___ _|_|\ \ | | | | \_ ___/| < \_ ___/\_ ___/ O \_____ \| | | | | | | |\ \ | | | | | | \ \ |____| |_____ | | | || | | |____| |____ R | | \ \_____/______/ |/ |/ | | |_____/|_____/ |/ \/ \| Saturday 8 November 1997 Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum, Los Angeles, California [The opening graphics fade through to a wide-angle shot of the massive Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. More than one hundred thousand fans line the raked sides of the stadium bowl, and thousands more are seated in blocks of bleachers on the floor of the stadium on platforms over the turf of the football pitch. In the centre of the arena is the IIWF's ring construction, a huge rig above the ring supported on four steel scaffolds, innumerable lights on all four sides, and most notably, a huge steel cage hangs under the rigging, waiting to be lowered over the ring. The shot pans up to the near cloudless sky above the open-air arena, where the IIWF blimp is visible. Cut to a reverse angle shot from the camera mounted on the blimp, looking down on the thousands of people forming a multi-coloured sea below. Cut down to the aisle, where suddenly fireworks erupt at the entranceway from the locker room. Huge, huge pop from the assembled fans as volley after volley of pyrotechnics shoot into the balmy early evening sky, clouds of sparks and smoke drifting in the light breeze. Cut down to ringside, where the broadcast teams are situated. The shot pans past the various foreign announcers, already seated and jabbering excitedly to one another with their headsets on, and comes to rest on the famous broadcast combination of Tim Dross and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, both dressed in tuxedos.] TD: Howdy, folks -- and welcome to the IIWF Free For All! We are just thirty minutes, only half an hour away from the biggest pay-per-view spectacular of the year. I'm Tim Dross, and beside me, as always, is my broadcast colleague and tag team partner, "Soundbite" Steve Roberts. SR: It's going to be a great night, baby dolls. Thunder getting squashed by Hardin... Quigley getting creamed by Macbeth... Byron being re-retired by Otto Verhoeven... the Prophets proving they're the world's best tag team... guys like the Subway Psycho getting wrapped in barbed wire... aw, almost brings a tear to my eye just thinking about all the beautiful, beautiful things we're going to see tonight, Dross. TD: It's certainly going to be an exciting event -- three hours of explosive, history-making wrestling action. All of the IIWF's championships will be on the line, old rivalries will be settled, new alliances will be forged and new enemies will be made. It's wrestling action as only the IIWF can bring it to you -- and it's happening right here, tonight, in front of this record-breaking crowd. SR: Yeah, Dross, just how many people are there here tonight? A million? Two? TD: In fact, Steve Roberts, there are more than one hundred thousand people here in attendance tonight. We don't have the precise turnstile figure yet, but we should have it before the end of our broadcast tonight -- not that it really matters, because the previous United States wrestling attendance record of some ninety-three thousand has been well and truly smashed here tonight -- and millions more around the world will be watching this event live on pay-per-view. A big IIWF-style "howdy" to all our great friends in the United Kingdom, in Germany, in Canada... and in dozens more countries across the world, all tuned in tonight to witness the incredible action of Ring Wars IV! Plus, of course, the two matches we have here tonight on this Free For All... it's going to be a tremendous, tremendous evening. Before we get up to the ring, let's just go backstage to hear from our colleague, Larry Morton. Larry? [Cut to Larry Morton walking down a backstage corridor past various closed locker room doors.] LM: Good evening, gentlemen. I'll be here backstage in the Coliseum throughout tonight's show to get words with the winners and the losers of all the matches -- and I'll be bringing you updates throughout the evening. In fact, in just a few minutes, I'll be interviewing Marty Warnett's opponent, "The Brat" Bradley Reed, right here on the Free For All! Until then, back to you at ringside! [Cut back to the broadcast table at ringside, at which Dross and Roberts are now seated. Dross adjusts his headset as he speaks:] TD: Thanks very much, Larry. Okay, it's time, ladies and gentlemen!  We're about ready to kick off the mother of all shows, right here at the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum! Ring Wars is about to begin! SR: You mean it's time for the dark matches already? TD: These aren't dark matches, Steve.  These are the opening bouts of this grand pay-per-view!  Ring Wars IV!  Get it for only... SR: A bit late for the marketing pitch, Dross.  Either they got it already, or they're just watching this 'cause it's free. As for tonight, as long as there ain't any more "Corn Stars", it'll all be good. TD: Let's get to the ring, where the ever-present Sparkplug Lee is about ready to kick things off! ________ ______ | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|................................................... | || | \ v v / | __| MIXED TAG MASSACRE: |_||_| \_/\_/ |_| Licensed for Devastation & Natural Predators vs. The Down Boys & The Machines ........................................................................ WRITER: RR [Scene pans over the stadium, where thousands upon thousands of screaming fans shout their approval.  The camera finally settles in on Sparkplug Lee, who stands in the center of the ring, clad smartly in a crimson and gold tuxedo, matching the colors and drawing the accolades of all the USC Trojans who are present.  He picks up the microphone, waves to the crowd, and begins.] RA: ... [Lee stops, looks at the microphone, grins sheepishly, and flicks it on, then starts over.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to beautiful South Central Los Angeles! Welcome to the LA Memorial Coliseum!  And most of all, WELCOME to the IIWF's RING WARS IV! [There is an immense pop from the crowd, the roar being heard throughout many of the nearby neighborhoods.] RA: And now, without further ado, let's give all of you what you came here for!  This first match of the Free For All here at IIWF Ring Wars IV is scheduled for one fall, and is a four-team mixed-tag free-for all!  Introducing the first team, accompanied to the ring by Awesome T and... Jani Lane, of "Warrant"... Dan Oliver, Adam Peterson... THE DOWN BOYS! [The chords to Warrant's "Down Boys" blare out over the speakers, and every pair of eyes in the arena focus on the entrance walkway.  Awesome T strides out first, basking in the cheers from the crowd, then turns, and motions to the back.  The curtains part again, and Warrant's Jani Lane struts out, microphone in hand, with both members of the Down Boys flanking him with guitars.  They all head to ringside, Lane singing the words to the song and climbing into the ring, where he finishes up the verse accompanied by a shower of pyrotechnic rockets that explode from all four turnbuckles as he hits the last note.  After a quick high-five to the members of the team, he takes a quick bow and heads back to the locker area.] TD: [over the headset] What an entrance by the Down Boys! SR: [over the headset] You mean walking to the ring with a washed up rocker from a decade ago?  I'll bet Lane hasn't seen this many people cheering for him since he stood up that one time and went "Hi, my name's Jani Lane, my band sucked, and I'm an alcoholic now." TD: [over the headset] Do you mind, Steve? SR: [over the headset] Not at all, baby dolls.  Not... at... all. RA: And their partners, Paul Wong, Simon O'Neal... THE MACHINES! [Pink Floyd's "Welcome to the Machine" now starts playing over the speakers, as O'Neal and Wong walk out into the aisle.  Following closely behind them, however, is Luke Steele, and the three of them stop for a moment, and look around at the rows upon rows of IIWF fans.  O'Neal is seen to mouth the words "hot damn", and they all make their way to the ring.  Steele sets up a chair on the outside by the aisle and plants himself in it, while Wong and O'Neal climb in and start talking with the Down Boys.] RA: And now, introducing their opponents... first the team of Grey Phoenix and Bear... THE NATURAL PREDATORS! [Both men emerge from the locker room with their manager, Kuyler Greyson and, much as the Machines were before them, are in awe of the throng of people.  They walk down the long aisle to the ring, Grey Phoenix slapping a few hands as he goes, and Bear just striding striaght up the center of the aisle with a focused look on his face.  They slide in under the bottom rope, Greyson taking up his position outside the ring, quickly shake hands with their opponents, and look back up the aisle.] RA: And the final team, partnered with the Natural Predators tonight... Reggie Starr and Jonathan Chaos... LICENCED FOR DEVASTATION! [The cheers of the crowd suddenly are drowned out by a chorus of boos and heel pops as Reggie Starr and Jonathan Chaos emerge from the locker room. Chaos walks straight for the ring, Starr following behind him, and both men shoot a nasty glance at Luke Steele as they pass, with Steele just waving cheerfully back at them.  With all four teams in the ring, Grey Phoenix steps forward to the center to declare himself the starter for his side, and Dan Oliver steps forward to start for his.  The rest of the men clear the ring, and the bell sounds, kicking off Ring Wars IV!] TD: And we're off! SR: Dross, do you see any horses down there?  Huh?  Do you?  I don't.  I see two animals and two maniacs facing off against three gay guys and Simon O'Neal. TD: Actually, I saw Traveller, the USC mascot earlier... SR: I give up. [Oliver and Phoenix shake hands again, then lock up into a collar and elbow tie-up.  Oliver spins quickly, tossing Phoenix across the ring with an arm drag.  They lock again, and Oliver attempts the same move, but Phoenix throws all his weight forward and manages to spin onto his feet as he goes over.  He drops to the mat now, reversing the move and sending Oliver back into his own corner with an arm drag of his own.  Oliver stands up slowly, says a few words to his partner, then advances to the center of the ring again.  On the next lock-up, Phoenix is doubled over with a knee lift, then another, and the Down Boy reaches back to tag his partner.  Oliver runs to the ropes, slingshotting Peterson over them and into a sunset flip on Phoenix, then rebounds off and clotheslines the Predator as he fights for balance.  The referee slides into position, and slaps the mat once... twice... and stops on two as Grey Phoenix lifts his shoulder off the canvas.] TD: Excellent teamwork there by the Down Boys, and we nearly had a quick ending to this first match! SR: Y'know, Dross, if it wasn't for their gay attitudes and their stupid get-ups... and their lousy hair... and that crappy music they have for an entrance... and about eight other things, I might actually like these guys. [Peterson stands up and pulls Phoenix to his feet, but is met with an elbow to the gut for his efforts.  Phoenix scrambles out of Peterson's grasp and behind him, and then the Down Boy turns around, greets him with a superkick to the face that knocks him quickly to the mat.  The Predator picks him up, locking Peterson's head under his armpit, then takes him up and over with a quick snap suplex.  He then grabs his downed opponent by his ample hair, lifts him to his feet and... tosses him into his own corner!] SR: What the hell is Chicken Little doing in there?  He's LETTING a hurt opponent tag out?  He's on drugs. TD: Definitely an interesting tactic, as it seems to have raised the ire of both members of LFD. [Indeed, Chaos is fuming on the outside of the ring, and it is taking all of Reggie Starr's energy to stop him from attacking either of the Predators.  Peterson, in the meantime, has realized what just happened, and makes the tag out to Paul Wong of the Machines.  Wong enters the ring, again slaps hands with Phoenix, and the two lock up.  The Machine quickly gets the advantage with his power, picking Phoenix up and slamming him down to the mat.  He goes to follow with a fistdrop, but Phoenix rolls out of the way and hops to his feet, then staggers Wong with a dropkick, resorting to another one to finally take the big man off his feet.  Wong starts standing up again, but Phoenix rebounds off the ropes with a flying clothesline that plants Wong onto the canvas again. Phoenix grabs him by the hair and lifts him up, setting him up for... ...another toss back into his own corner.] SR: I don't BELIEVE this.  Whose side is Phoenix on anyway? [Wong tags out to his partner, O'Neal, while Phoenix backs towards his corner and tags to Bear, ducking a swipe by Jonathan Chaos along the way. He then slides under the bottom rope, conversing with his manager while Bear squares off against O'Neal.  Subtlety goes out the window here, as Bear ducks a wild right hand by O'Neal and locks on a one-handed choke hold, drawing the attention of the referee.  He holds O'Neal at arm's length for a four count, breaks it for a moment to avoid the disqualification, then locks it on again, causing both members of LFD to start shouting into the ring, not wanting to lose the match by a DQ.  At this point, Grey Phoenix looks at the totem-stick that Greyson is holding, nods to him, and spins around.] SR: What the...? TD: Grey Phoenix has just handcuffed Reggie Starr's boot to the bottom ring-rope!  He's just shackled the Licensed for Devastation member like a convict! [Starr shouts in protest as he hears the *click* and feels the pressure on his ankle, and Bear, in the ring, breaks the chokehold long enough to run over and hammer a forearm into Jonathan Chaos' head.  Greyson takes a hold of the totem stick he has, winds up, and slams it into Chaos' midsection, while Phoenix runs over ans applies another shackle to the other LFD member's ankle as well, tethering him to the bottom rope. Greyson then saunters over to the announcer's table, picks up a hand-mike, and flicks it on.  All of the wrestlers in and around the ring stop and listen to his announcement.] KG: All three teams have been totally screwed over by these two idiots, Starr and Chaos.  Now... I've got the key to these handcuffs.  Machines, Down Boys... you got a hell of a handicap match here if you want it. Natural Predators can and will face both of you in the ring now.  Whoever pins my boys... not only gets the win... but the key as well.  Otherwise, we get to take out our pound of flesh first. SR: Hmmm... methinks I smell a beatdown on the horizon. [In the ring, the remainder of the teams look around in confusion for a second, but that stops quickly as Phoenix leaps up on the apron, slingshots himself over the top rope, and catches O'Neal in the Phoenix Claw DDT.  He quickly rolls him over for the pin attempt, but at this point the other men all storm the ring, with the Down Boys tackling Bear and Wong physically pulling Phoenix off the top of his partner.  On the outside, Kuyler is smiling widely and taunting the struggling LFD, staying well out of range of their futile attempts at kicks towards him. Wong grabs Phoenix and picks him up over his head, holding him there in a Military Press long enough for O'Neal to roll out of the way, then drops him straight down in front of him, catching him and falling forward into a powerslam.  He grabs a leg and hooks it, the referee diving past Simon O'Neal as that Machine leaps onto the Down Boys/Bear pile, and counting a three-count on the winded Predator. Ding! Ding! Ding! Huge pop!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the winners of this match... THE MACHINES and THE DOWN BOYS! [Wong stands up in the ring, helping his partner to his feet, as well as the Down Boys, while Bear and Phoenix regroup in the opposite corner... then in an instant, all six men dive out of the ring, and lay into LFD! Punches, kicks, forearms, and even a steel chair are brought to bear against Starr and Chaos, with Simon O'Neal gleefully producing "Shock the Taser" from the boot of Starr.  With much fanfare, he holds it up in the air for the crowd to see, then spikes it onto the ground, shattering it into dozens of pieces, which he then sees fit to pick up and throw into the fans as souveniers.  Finally, satisfied with their work, the three teams, Steele, and Greyson all head out, with Greyson tossing the keys behind him as the officials struggle to free the badly beaten Licenced for Devastation members.] TD: Oh my! Licensed for Devastation ended up on the receiving end of one heck of a beating right there -- officials are freeing them both now, and... oh my! [Suddenly there is a huge heel pop as Jonathan Chaos, freed from his shackles, suddenly leaps down from the apron, kicking one of the officials in the head as he does so. Blood pours from the official's nose as he crumples to the floor, Chaos continuing to put the boots in, screaming like a madman as he does so.] SR: Lord have mercy, we've got the juice flowing early tonight, Dross! Yee-haw! [The fans are shocked, and yell abuse at Chaos, who suddenly stops the onslaught, staring wild-eyed at one young front row fan, who cowers back behind his father. Chaos then screams again, and continues to kick and punch anybody and anything that gets in his way -- including partner Reggie Starr, who finds himself knocked onto his behind by the rabid Chaos' wild flailings.] TD: This is terrible -- Jonathan Chaos... Chaos has snapped, Steve Roberts! He has simply just... just snapped! SR: One too many blows to the head, Dross. Easy to do. [By sheer weight of numbers, security officials finally manage to restrain Chaos, cuffing his wrists to prevent him from flailing any further, and drag him up the aisle, kicking and screaming, attempting to bite anybody who comes within range. Starr picks himself up, rubbing his jaw where Chaos struck him, and heads up the aisle after his partner, shaking his head.] TD: Well, Steve Roberts -- I don't know what to make of this. SR: I do. Seems that Chaos is gonna be joining Simon Lebec in the looney bin. TD: We do indeed have some interesting footage to show you concerning the "Showstopper" Simon Lebec later tonight, folks, but that's of little importance now. What carnage -- the official who was struck by Chaos... oh my, he's being helped to his feet, and he is a mess! SR: Whoa, that guy was no oil painting before, but just look at him now! [The official clutches at his bloody and swollen nose, his right eye also swelling up and being forced closed by the impact of the blows from Chaos. He is helped away from ringside, and some of the fans give a polite ripple of applause, appreciating his self-sacrifice. Cut back to the broadcast table at ringside.] TD: Well, there are sure to be some severe repercussions in the aftermath of that encounter, Steve Roberts -- particularly if LFD catch up with the Natural Predators. It seems ironic that Bear and the Grey Phoenix have unleashed such a rabid beast in Jonathan Chaos here tonight. In any case, folks, we must move on. One of the most eagerly-awaited matches on tonight's big pay-per-view is the encounter between the "Party Maniac" Marty Warnett and his long-time assailant, "The Brat" Bradley Reed, who, along with huge bodyguard Stone, has been making his life a misery for quite some time now. SR: Gotta dig that Stone guy, Dross. He's a big kid. TD: Indeed he is, Steve Roberts. Ahead of that huge match, let's get comments from Bradley Reed. Let's go backstage to Larry Morton... no, hang on -- I'm told that Reed is coming out here! ["Self Esteem" by Offspring blares over the PA system as the massive bodyguard, Stone, steps through the curtain and strolls down the extended aisleway of the massive LA Coliseum.  "The Brat" Bradley Reed then pops up from behind the curtain and dashes down the aisle to catch up with Stone, at which point he jumps on the big man's back -- for what seems like a piggy back ride to the ring.  Reed then hops off Stone and dashes over to broadcast table where he snatches a microphone and heads into the ring.  Reed is in his usual attire with a t-shirt that reads: "Warnett: R.I.P November 8th".] BR: Come on up, Dross.  We've got an interview to conduct, you old fogie. TD: [over his headset] Oh, brother. I thought this was supposed to be a backstage segment. [Dross gets up and steps into the ring. He is ready to take the mic from Reed's hand but is stopped.] BR: No, no, no, Timmy.  We've heard enough from me for the last week or so. This is your interview.  You've been in this fed since its beginning and I don't remember anyone ever taking the time to interview you.  I'm sure the great fans here would love to get to know you. TD: [looking at Reed incredulously] This is ridiculous. BR: Aw, come on, Timmy. Okay, first things first.  When did you first break into this sport? TD: [pauses, looks around at the crowd] Well, I was originally... [Reed starts throwing the microphone up in the air and catching it.  Dross glares at Reed.  Reed gives an apologetic expression.] BR: Oh, I _am_ sorry.  You were still talking.  Anyway, did you commentate the great match between Jacob and an angel from God?  Which was so greatly recorded in the book of Genesis? TD: Don't be ridiculous. How old do you think I am? BR: Then you at least commentated the Christian vs. the lions in Rome, right? TD: Obviously not. BR: How old are you?  I heard you went to school with King Tut's father? TD: I'm not Egyptian, Reed.  I thought this was supposed to be serious. BR: Oh, I am serious.  [chuckles]  I am always serious.  No time to fool around in the big I -- I -- W -- F.  This is were the big boys play.  This is where great athletes like that Ned Norton play for keeps.  This is where Reed is going to punk Warnett.  This is the home of the Superstar champion. TD: Which reminds me -- where did you get that title? BR: Oh Dross, you're such a workholic.  This is your interview.  I'll ask the questions, big guy.  Anyway, where were we?  Ummm... so is it true that you are the gay guy of the broadcast tag team between you and Roberts? TD: Reed, is this going to go anywhere at all? BR: I heard you and Warnett were quite the couple last year.  What do you have to say about that? TD: I have had quite enough, thank you. [Dross leaves the ring and returns to the broadcast table while Reed puts on a display of mock concern for the benefit of the jeering fans.] TD: [adjusting his headset] That was positively the most juvenile thing I have ever been through. SR: Kinda cool, Dross. [Reed remains in the ring, looking around at the fans.  He then looks over at Stone.] BR: So, Stone, what do you think about these great fans? [Stone, of course, doesn't say a word.] BR: Yeah, I agree.  They really aren't worth too much of my time.  But as the Superstar Champion it is my duty to come out here and recognize my great fans. [Reed is rewarded with a heel pop.] BR: Anyway, I'm still in the mood for an interview and since Dross has bailed out, maybe we can find someone from the back.  Hmmmmm... who should I interview? [acts as if an imaginary light bulb has just switched on above his head] Eureka!  I'll interview the one and only Scott "The Whine" Bloom! TD: [over the headset] Oh, good grief. [Fans give little reaction as the Whine makes his way down the huge aisle. He finally steps into the ring with great excitement on his face.] BR: So how's it going, my main man? [high fives the Whine] SB: Well, I just have to say I am really excited to be here at Ring Wars. I am also really excited to say I was part of one of the greatest setups of all time.  I mean, we really suckered that Warnett. BR: We?  What do you mean by we? SB: [nervous]  Well, you know. BR: No, tell me. SB: Well, I had him distracted while you went up top and bashed that title across his noggin.  That was classic.  You the man, Brad. BR: Yes, I am the man.  But that's "Mr. Superstar Champion" to you, Scotty. SB: No prob, bud.  Anything for the one true brat of the IIWF.  I mean we have to look out for each other man.  Guys like us... BR: Guys like us?  Buds?  Now listen here, Scott.  Yes, maybe I did use you for a certian attack on Warnett.  But I could have used any punk to sucker that herione addict.  It really doesn't take any talent.  As for your comment about "guys like us"... well, I am the Superstar Champion and you're... well, you're you.  You are definitely _not_ a guy like me. SB: What are you trying to say? BR: Words can't really express what I have to say, Bloomster.  [With that Stone sneaks behind Bloom to give him an atomic wegdie -- but this wedgie is not your normal atomic wedgie.  This wedgie has Bloom lifted off his feet by the 7"2' giant way into the air.  Stone then throws Bloom right into a superkick by Reed. Reed lifts up the stunned Bloom and sets him up on the top rope, while the crowd give a huge heel pop. Reed yells at the fans to shut up while he climbs to the top rope, from which vantage point he simply smirks at the fans. Reed hooks on the cobra clutch before jumping off the top rope, bringing Bloom with him and drilling the poor jobber's head into the mat.] TD: This is disgusting! SR: He calls that move the Attitude Adjuster, Dross.  And he calls the upcoming move the Human Pretzel. [Reed locks on a reversed figure four and then bends back to lock on a reversed full nelson.  Bloom would be screaming in pain if it was not for the fact he is already nearly unconscious.] TD: Bloom thought this man was his friend. SR: Reality check, Dross: he obviously isn't. [After security and Bloom's fellow JJS members enter the ring, Reed finally releases his painful hold.  Reed then grabs the mic while Stone holds the rest at bay.] BR: Well, that is what happens when you trust one bad ass [BLEEP]! I'm the Brat and that's what brats do.  Just remember you people made me this way.  It's your fault.  But tonight, Warnett, what I've done here is just a sample of what I will do to you here tonight.  It's time to find out what I am all about.  It's time to raise some hell.  Oh, and Warnett, this will be a non-title match. [Reed lets out a nasty cackle while he heads back to the dressing room with the enormous Stone, while the EMT crew looks after a battered Bloom. Cut back to the broadcast table at ringside.] TD: What a disgusting, disgusting display. Hopefully Reed will get his comeuppance in just a few short minutes when he wrestles Marty Warnett. Nonetheless, we must move on: and we've got a great match to cap off the Free For All tonight, Steve Roberts! SR: Let's just get it done so I can watch Warnett get taken apart in the ring by the Brat! TD: That is the match that will kick off Ring Wars IV -- incidentally, it's not too late to order! SR: Don't be left in the cold, baby dolls, or you won't be able to see my main man Hardin show Brody Thunder who the real cowboy in the IIWF is! TD: Let's get up to the ring now and let Sparkplug Lee introduce our next exciting feature. ________ ______ | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|................................................... | || | \ v v / | __| FOUR WAY DANCE: |_||_| \_/\_/ |_| Kevin Christiansen vs. Alex Rio vs. Dexter St. Croix vs. "Real Deal" Luke Steele ........................................................................ WRITER: RP [Sparkplug Lee, clearly in awe of the number of fans here in the Coliseum, stands nervously in the center of the ring. He finally clears his throat and begins.] SL: The next match in the IIWF Ring Wars Free For All is a four way elimination match. Two men are legal at any one time and any man may tag any other man. Eliminations are by pinfall, submission, countout, or disqualification. The last man standing is declared the winner. [Big crowd pop on the mention of "last man standing"] SL: Introducing first... hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada... weighing in at 228 pounds... Alex Rio! [The expected music doesn't start as all eyes turn to the entranceway. Suddenly a figure strides forward with a microphone in hand. It is Alex Rio. He stands wearing a yellow and red "Alexamania" tank top with slits in the back along with some yellow trunks, red knee pads, and an "Alexamania" bandanna on his head. His bleached blonde hair is a little messed up and he strokes the small beard on his chin a little before he begins to speak in a deep voice.] AR: You know somethin', brother, a lot of people would say that the four way dance is just somethin' to get the crowd warmed up for the _REAL_ matches, brother. But, all these fans don't know what they're in store for and Luke Steele, Kevin Christiansen, and Dexter St. Croix don't know what they're in store for, brother. With all those little Alexamaniacs on my side, nothin's gonna stop the Alexster here tonight at Ring Wars IV. And, Luke Steele, Kevin Christiansen, and Dexter St. Croix... Whatchya gonna do when the trainin', the prayers, the vitamins, and the sixteen inch pythons _RUMBLE_ all over _YOU_?! [Rio flexes for a bit, then "Real American" blasts over the speakers and he heads out towards the ring. The fans give a mixed pop...clearly some of the fans are enjoying Rio's antics.] TD: Oh, brother. SR: Here's my pick for this one, Dross! Alexamania is running wild at Ring Wars IV! TD: I'd have to think that Alex Rio is a long shot candidate. SR: How do you figure, Dross? It's him against the stoner, the squire, and the real squeal. He can't lose! [Rio gets to the ring and immediately starts posing. As he shows off his... uh... physique, Lee continues with the introductions.] SL: The second opponent hails from London, England... and weighs in at 265 pounds... Kevin "The Cavalier" Christiansen! ["Carmina Burana" begins to play as Christiansen rides through the arch astride a large white horse! Fireworks shoot out as he waves to the fans with his shield. He brandishes his broadsword in his other hand and soaks in the cheers of the appreciative fans. When he reaches the ring, he dismounts, strips off his armour and hands all of his acoutrements to a handler who takes them, and the horse, away from the ring area.] TD: What a fantastic entrance by Kevin Christiansen! SR: Rio didn't even notice! He's still posing! TD: Christiansen is offering his hand to shake Rio's but he is being completely ignored! SL: The third opponent hails from Kingston, Jamaica... and weighs in at 220 pounds... Dexter St. Croix! [Carl Orff is replaced by Bob Marley's "Exodus" as St. Croix and his posse head down to ringside amidst the light and explosions of the fireworks. The pop from the crowd is very mixed, with quite a number of fans not liking the young Jamaican.] SR: I guess the L.A. crowd is too upscale for ganja. If he was from Colombia he might get a different reaction! TD: St. Croix's Posse are taking front row seats in order to see all of the action. We are nearly ready to begin, with the favourite yet to come! SR: Favourite? You are nuts, Dross. Alex Rio is taking it all! SL: And the fourth opponent... hailing from Cleveland, Ohio... and weighing in at 275 pounds... "The Real Deal" Luke Steele! ["Black Cat" by Janet Jackson plays as Steele heads down the aisle wearing only his wrestling trunks.] SR: What's with this guy? No fireworks? No horse? No knock-off of over the hill wrestling has-beens? TD: Luke Steele is exactly as billed, Steve Roberts! He's the real deal! [Steele climbs into the ring and immediately shakes Christiansen's hand, ignoring the other two.] TD: It looks like the suspicions were correct... Luke Steele and Kevin Christiansen have formed some sort of alliance! SR: It's the only way they have a chance of taking down Alexamania, brother! [The other three wrestlers stop and stare at Alex Rio, who is continuing his in-ring antics unabated. He hits pose after pose, motioning to the crowd for encouragement. Luke Steele looks extremely annoyed and then finally...] TD: Luke Steele just dropped Alex Rio with a thunderous clothesline! SR: What a backstabber! The match hadn't even been started! TD: Steele clearly had seen enough of Rio's posturing and decided to start the match himself. Joey Patrick is calling for the bell as Christiansen and St.Croix take their spots on the ring apron. [Rio gets back to his feet and Steele slaps the taste right out of his mouth!] TD: Steele clearly has no liking for the flamboyant Alex Rio! SR: Jealousy will get you nowhere, Jennifer Beals! [Steele lines Rio up and puts him down with a roundhouse right. Joey Patrick admonished Steele for his use of a closed fist but he ignores the ref and pulls Rio back to his feet.] SR: Did you see that? Big Deal has to resort to illegal tactics to put the Alexster down! TD: Luke Steele with an amazing slingshot suplex and Alex Rio seems out of it before he even begins! Steele tags out to Christiansen... SR: That's right! Run away! [Christiansen charges in with a clothesline and sends Rio to the mat! As Rio tries to get to his feet, the Cavalier spins and nails the semi-erect Rio with a thrust kick to the head!] TD: This is a little more brutal than we have seen Christiansen in the past, but I think he senses that Rio is ready to be put away! SR: Not so fast, Drossie! [The Cavalier hoists Rio up into position for a shoulder breaker, only to receive Rio's knee in his face! Christiansen drops Rio, who quickly scrambles away and tags in St.Croix.] TD: Dexter St.Croix is coming in the ring on fire! He levels Christiansen with a lariat! He whips the bigger man into the ropes and meets him with a big fist to the midsection! SR: I don't know what this guy has been smoking but it's not his usual blend! [St.Croix lines Christiansen up to put him into a powerbomb. The bigger wrestler is having none of it however, as he counters with a big back body drop.] TD: That seems to have been a tactical error. St.Croix shouldn't have tried using power moves on someone as strong as Kevin Christiansen! SR: I guess Dexter's reasoning is...clouded...shall we say. [Kevin drops Dexter with two consecutive backbreakers before slapping on a punishing bearhug.] SR: He's squeezing so hard that St.Croix's hair is getting longer! TD: Christiansen has targeted Dexter's back and...oh! Dexter St.Croix with a thumb to Kevin Christiansen's eye! SR: _That_ made him let go! [St.Croix tags in Luke Steele who gingerly steps through the ropes and faces Christiansen in the middle of the ring.] TD: I don't think Steele wants to face off with his new ally. He's motioning towards Alex Rio and Christiansen obliges by heading over to tag...clothesline by Steele! SR: They may be all palsy-walsy outside of the ring but this is a big match! Every man for themselves! TD: Apparently so. I must also say that Alex Rio looks quite relieved at not having to step in against Steele. SR: Aw, the Alexster could make mincemeat of old Cop A Feel. [Steele hits Christiansen with a neck snap and then whips him into the ropes.] TD: Hurricarana! Luke Steele with an amazing move for a man his size! SR: I think I could like this guy! Anyone who would stab an ally in the back is okay in my books! TD: Steele whips Christiansen to the corner...he's following in with an avalanche...no one is home! Kevin Christiansen just had the presence of mind to dodge that move...and Luke Steele is down on the mat! SR: The big Cav isn't looking to good either. Whichever doesn't reach a tag in time is in big trouble! TD: Christiansen tags in Dexter St.Croix! Luke Steele is in trouble and...what the...? [St.Croix takes an incredibly long time climbing through the ropes. When he gets in the ring he tests the turnbuckle to make sure it's sturdy before heading towards Steele, at a very casual pace. Needless to say, Steele gets to his feet before St.Croix arrives.] TD: Dexter St.Croix has just blown any advantage he had and has given Steele a chance to go tag in Alex Rio. He didn't press his advantage and now he has to face a fresh man. What was he thinking? SR: I told you, Dross. St.Croix doesn't think. He's lost too many braincells to the demon weed! TD: What's your excuse, Steve Roberts? SR: Oh, pretty much the same. [St.Croix catches Rio coming in with a forearm smash. Rio is hardly fazed as he kicks St.Croix in the midsection and drops him with a DDT.] SR: I bet he's wishing he had stayed fighting Steele now! [Rio picks up St.Croix and whips him into the ropes. Dexter comes off the ropes and runs right into...] SR: The big boot! We know what's coming next babydolls! [In fact, Steve is right as Rio lines up the big legdrop...but St.Croix moves! He rolls clear and heads for the corner...and stops short when he sees it's Christiansen.] TD: He punched Kevin Christiansen right in the face! SR: Is that a legal tag? TD: Christiansen is going right after St.Croix...in comes Luke Steele...we have absolute mayhem in the ring! Joey Patrick has lost all control of this one! SR: Steele just flattened Rio with a flying dropkick! St.Croix with a belly to belly suplex on Christiansen! TD: How did St.Croix get the big man over! That was an amazing move! Steele runs into St.Croix and...stops? SR: He's going after the Cavalier instead while Ganja-man is going after Alex! TD: I beginning to think that the alliance in this match wasn't between the two people we thought it was! SR: St.Croix with a spinning neckbreaker on Rio! Christiansen grabs Steele for a side suplex but St.Croix punches Cavvy right in the chops! TD: There is no way that Rio and Christiansen can sustain this onslaught unless they start working together! SR: Somehow that doesn't seem very likely. [Steele kicks Christiansen in the "lower abdomen" and lines him up for a piledriver. St.Croix heads over and...] TD: Spike piledriver on Kevin Christiansen! Joey Patrick has got to get control of this match! Who are the legal men? SR: Who cares? The Weed is on the top rope... TD: Steele with a powerbomb on Alex Rio with St.Croix hitting him with a midair splash! It's a stagedive! SR: St.Croix is going back up and... they do the same move on Christiansen... _on top_ of Alex! [Steele and St.Croix separate the two other wrestlers and each cover one of them. Joey Patrick likes indecisive for a moment and then drops to the mat and counts...ONE...TWO...THREE!] TD: Which one was he counting out? Who was the legal man? SR: Both of them, Dross! Patrick is saying both Christiansen and Rio are eliminated! [As the two eliminated men clear the ring, Steele and St.Croix hold each other's arms in the air, declaring victory.] TD: It seems that we have seen the debut of a new partnership right here on the IIWF Free For All. Luke Steele and Dexter St.Croix are declaring themselves joint winners and... no! SR: Patrick is having none of that! This is an elimination match! [Joey Patrick confers quickly with Sparkplug Lee at ringside who picks up his mic and says...] SL: Referee Joey Patrick has just reminded Luke Steele and Dexter St. Croix that this is an elimination match and the winner is... the last man standing! [A big pop from the crowd, although the two wrestlers in the ring look none too happy about it.] TD: They must continue! Luke Steele grabs St.Croix and... what is this? SR: It's an armbar, Dross! Didn't they teach you that at announcing school? [An armbar it is, but with no force whatsoever. Both wrestlers have big grins on their faces as they know full well that this is a joke. St.Croix "reverses" the hold and has Steele in an armbar.] TD: This isn't a wrestling match! Why doesn't one of them just give up and get it over with? SR: I think that's what's happening, Dross. Luke Steele has just laid down on the mat... [St.Croix hits the ropes, practically in slow motion...and down he goes!] TD: Alex Rio just hit Dexter St.Croix in the back of the head with the ring bell! SR: I told you that Alex would be the real winner in this match! TD: He's given the bell back to the officials at ringside and is scampering back to the dressing room. I don't think Luke Steele is even aware of what happened! [Steele sees St.Croix is down, pauses, and, with a shrug, drops down to cover him. Joey Patrick counts: ONE...TWO...THREE! "Black Cat" starts up over the PA once more!] SL: The winner of the Four Way Dance... "The Real Deal" Luke Steele! TD: St.Croix is trying to figure out what happened and Steele is trying to explain it. SR: Hit him! Let's see the end of the latest alliance even before it starts! [St.Croix seems to be happy with Steele's explanation, however, as he raises his arm in victory.] TD: These two seem very pleased with themselves as they head back to the locker area. Look at them laugh and joke with Dexter's posse! It's disgusting! SR: What do you mean, Dross? I don't really like either of these guys but at least they were smart enough to plan ahead! TD: Well that's it for the Free For All but there is still time to order Ring Wars IV! Twelve big matches including three big title matches! Chris Quigley faces Duncan Macbeth, the Cold Quins face Harle-Spell, and Derek Mota faces Timothy N. Turner! SR: Don't forget the main event, Drossie! J.W.Hardin is going to turn the Lone Wolf into a neutered pup! TD: Speaking of Brody Thunder, fans, I have just received word that  Brody Thunder has indeed arrived just moments ago.  Is the camera down there now?  Uh... okay. Let's go to the back and... [Cut to a shot of the garage area. Around the corner comes Brody Thunder, dressed in jeans, boots, denim shirt and black hat. He's carrying a black gymbag which reads simply "LONE WOLF". He ignores the camera and brushes past it, heading down a long corridor.] TD: ...and there we can see Brody Thunder making his way to the locker room area. I understand that Larry Morton is back there and he's gonna try and get a few words with the champion. Larry? Can you hear us? [Cut to another shot of Larry Morton, standing outside a blue locker room door.] LM: Yes, Tim, I can -- and in just a few moments I'm going to attempt to get a few comments from the "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder on his matchup with the "Outlaw" J.W. Hardin. If you can... just... hold on... a... min... yes, yes -- here he comes now. [The camera  swings around to show Brody Thunder walking down the hall about fifty feet away.  Thunder sees the commotion but doesn't try to acknowledge it.  He gets within five feet and Larry begins to speak again.] LM: Mr. Thunder... Mr. Thunder... tonight you're facing what most would say is your greatest challenge ever. The man known as the "Outlaw"... J.W. Hardin. Do you have any comments on the match or any predictions on the outcome? [Thunder sees that ignoring him isn't going to work and with a look of growing impatience he stops and looks at Morton, eye-to-eye.] BT: What the hell you wanna know? Ya wanna know how I'm gonna beat 'im? Do ya wanna know what's gonna happen when that bell rings an' it's finally jus' me an' him? Is _that_ what ya want?! Well, lemme tell ya right now... an' I hope yer lissenin', Hardin... tonight I'm gonna do my _damnedest_ ta plant yer legendary carcass ta that mat out there. The time fer talkin's over. I came here fer a fight an' it's a fight I'm gonna get. An' come hell or high water, when that final bell rings, two things are gonna be true that ain't true now, amigo. One... yer gonna know ya were in the fight o' yer life. An' two... the _real_ legend _will_ get his hand raised. So, Morton, call that bookie friend o' yers an' put yer money on the Wolf, ace. It's the closest thing yer ever gonna see ta a sure thing. Now get outta my face...! [Thunder pushes past Morton, enters his locker room, and slams the door closed. Larry turns back to the camera.] LM: Okay, Tim, big words from a big man. We'll see if he can deliver in     tonight's main event. Back to you guys. [Cut back to the broadcast table at ringside.] TD: Well, folks, we're just about out of time here on tonight's Free For All. If you've not already called your local cable operator, now's your last chance to be a part of the huge action coming your way over the next three hours. It's Thunder vs. Hardin -- it's Quigley vs. Macbeth -- it's Byron vs. Verhoeven -- it's Paris vs. Shakespeare -- it's the Barbed Wire match... it is Ring Wars IV, and it is coming up in just a matter of seconds! Hang in there, folks... it's gonna be one hell of a ride! [Sparkplug Lee is once again in the ring, making his traditional countdown to the beginning of the pay-per-view, the one hundred thousand fans chanting along with him, huge numbers zooming across the four massive video walls. Cut to a wide-angle view of the huge, huge LA Coliseum, the IIWF blimp hovering in the clear sky above. Fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Jim Jividen | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | brokeback@webtv.net | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+