[Open to a shot of a digitized IIWF logo, spinning around with a party hat over the second "I". The words "Happy New Year!" fly up onto the screen just as a voice-over by a generic narrator begins.] VO: 1997 was an eventful year for the IIWF... titles changed hands,     executives came and went, shows were broadcast from across the country and even around the globe. But this is a time to be looking ahead to 1998. What will the New Year bring to the IIWF? Perhaps a kinder, gentler style? [Otis Redding's take on "Try a Little Tenderness" begins to play as we cut to some rather unusual footage... Steve Manning cheering up patients in a children's hospital. Serge Annis dishing out hot meals to the poor at a homeless shelter. Joe Petrow helping old ladies cross the street. Steve "Soundbite" Roberts getting ready to shave.] VO: Nahhhhh.... [Quickly, the opening graphics burst onto the screen with small pieces of confetti flying all about it to indicate this is a "festive" War Room.]                            _  _ __      __ ___                           | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|                           | || | \ v  v / | __|                           |_||_|  \_/\_/  |_|                         __  __      __ _______   __                  |    //_  / | /| //_ /__   / | /__|\__/                  | / //   /  // |//      \ /  //   /  /                  |/|//__ /__//  //_______//__//   /__/                         ___  ___      ___   ________                  |    //__| /__\     /__\  /  //  //|/|                  | / //   //   \    /   \ /  //  // / |                  |/|//   //    /   /    //__//__//    |                  --------------------------------------                             December 31 1997 [Cut to the in-studio camera, which zooms past all the usual IIWF Hall of Fame artifacts... the short lived "You Can't Hurt the Lizard" t-shirt, a pair of dented bumpers from the Warnett-Stetson feud of long ago, the remnants of the Bulldog Brown table, and of course the "Kiwi Display". We then pan over to the broadcast table, where a mildly buzzed looking Larry Morton and a displeased Dave Bacon sit. Morton begins to speak much louder then he needs to.] LM: Welcome to War Room, ev'rybody! It's New Year's Eve, and we gotta     helluva show ready for you! DB: That's a matter of opinion. Am I allowed to say what I think, or is     someone going to hand me a script? LM: I dunno what you're talkin' about, Dean. DB: Dave. LM: Whatever. DB: Look, I can handle this show. Firstly, let me say to both our loyal     viewers that many of the IIWF stars are on vacation for a couple of days and not in Portland, so you'll have the dubious pleasure of seeing damn near the entire JJS in action. LM: Where's Becky? I want Becky back! DB: She's taking some time off in Australia, I understand. Someone told     her it was originally a penal colony and she took it the wrong way. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Serge Annis vs. The Smooth ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Smooth made another grand entrance, walking out with the "Soundbite" to loud chants of "Smooth! Smooth!" and even a few misguided "USA!" chants. He wore a Serge Annis "What's Your Evil?" t-shirt and was grinning widely, almost idioticly. The two eventually made it to the ring as four towers of flame sprang up from the sides of the entrance ramp, and everyone's favourite pyromaniac made his entrance. Annis didn't seem terribly concerned with this match, but the Smooth looked to change that. As soon as Annis was in the ring, the massive Mexican waddled over as fast as he could for a sneak attack. Amazingly, he landed two consecutive punches to Annis' back before the Canuck turned around, grabbed him by the throat, and somehow hoisted him into the air for an Epitomizer chokeslam. After that, the three count was academic, and Annis walked out in victory. The Smooth, however, felt pleased with his performane and once his feet were back under him he walked off with the Soundbite, who was giving him words of encouragement and telling him "You had him on his heels, buddy! You almost had him!" Winner: Serge Annis via pinfall at 0:13 LM: The Smooth keeps on keepin' on, if you know what I mean. DB: I don't know what you mean when you're sober, why would I now? LM: I... [suddenly, Morton puts a hand to his mouth]... I gotta go. [Larry gets up and just takes off, moving surprisingly fast. Bacon would probably be showing him more contempt if there was room for anymore in his expression.] DB: Serge got an easy win here, but I'd suggest he should have more     trouble with Mad Dog Watkins. Those two have some unfinished business and I'd imagine they'll be in the ring with each other some time soon. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Richard "Moxy" Blue vs. "Nifty" Ned Norton ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Norton appeared to enthusiastic applause from his fan and indifference from everyone else. Moxy Blue, however, was much more warmly welcomed despite making an entrance with less than trademark enthusiasm. This quasi-apathy was to manifest itself through the whole match. The usually frenetic Blue started slowly, wearing down Norton with armbars, headlocks and the like while continuously looking to the outside, as if for moral support that wasn't there anymore. Finally, Norton was able to take advantage of the slow pace with a series of elbows that rocked Blue, and then ran off the ropes only to trip up and fall over them. This miscue snapped Blue back to a more Moxy-like performance, as he hit a wild plancha to the outside, and dragged Norton back into the ring to finish him off with a series of high-flying kneedroops, moonsaults and splashes. He finally hit the impressive True Blue -- a springboard somersault senton backsplash, for those not paying attention. Winner: Moxy Blue via pinfall at 4:58 DB: Moxy Blue looked impressive as always, but I think he's not sure of     what to do without Scott Rogers around. You know, I think I'd like to say something right here... sure, the IIWF puts on great matches, but sometimes the way this place is run, the behind the scenes stuff, just makes me want to... [Off camera, the sounds of someone loudly retching can be heard.] DB: Larry, as always you have an inate sense of timing. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Down Boys vs. Barnacle Brothers ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The faint odor of fish was apparent when the Barnacles made their way to the ring, enough so that one fan in a Russian-style fur hat yelled out that "Those guys stink!". And they were about to prove it. The Down Boys appeared soon after, still pretending to be the tag champs, or at least in their former Damage Inc-arnation. Dan Oliver was screaming all the way that both Barnacles would "FEEL THE TOP-ROPE POWERBOMB!" Early on, the Down Boys continued to wrestle imitation Damage Inc. styles, with Oliver especially using a lot of power moves to little effect. He and Adam Peterson made up for it with their frequent tags that kept Bluto cut off in their side of the ring for most of the match. The two seemed a bit disturbed that the buxom Hoochiemama wasn't around tonight, but they still had Awesome T trying to direct them to wrestle their own styles for a change. Bluto somehow managed to sneak off and make a tag to Seadog, but he didn't fare any better as he fell victim to a lot of double-team moves, mostly power based suplexes and slams. Oliver then caught him in a bear hug, and Peterson went up to the top to hit him with a move mildly reminiscent of the Syndi-cutter, performing Damage Inc's The End passably. While they were doing this and getting the subsequent pin, however, both members of the Fab Ones appeared from the stands, Agito Nakajima holding a baseball bat with which he knocked out Awesome T. The two took off as fast as they appeared, but the damage was done to the Down Boys' psyche, as they had to carry their fallen manager off as soon as they found out. Winners: The Down Boys via pinfall at 6:37 [Dave Bacon begins to speak in an obvious monotone, straining to make it known he's reading scripted material.] DB: What exciting action from the tag team division. I definitely expect     a great feud between name of first team here and name of second team     here. Order Snow Brawl now, the tag teams will be in a big battle royal! [Just then, a pale-faced Larry Morton walks slowly and unsteadily back towards his seat.] DB: Welcome back, Larry. I have a sandwich in my dressing room, want a     bite to eat? [Morton's face begins to turn slightly green, but he stays the course and lowers himself gingerly into his chair.] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Icehawk vs. Bobby B. Goode ------------------------------------------------------------------------ After the pop-gun shootin', rootin', tootin' Bobby B. Goode made his entrance, and Icehawk made a fairly uneventful entrance as well, both were interrupted from starting their match by an aisleside appearance from Natural Predators manager Kulyer Greyson and his tag team. Here's what he had to say: [Cut to footage captioned, "Earlier Tonight." Kuyler Greyson stands in the aisle, his charges Grey Phoenix and Bear flanking him.] KG: Icehawk...you and your former partner Edmund have had your fair     share of difficulties here in the IIWF with outside interference.     You have also have a hard road in front of you after the attack     by Edmund on the Harlequins and Prophets on Saturday. Regardless     of their singles standing and yours, you are still seen as a     member of Cold Spell...and guilty by association. A lot of wrath     to be faced by one man alone. [Crowd reacts to this, booing at Kuyler's comments a little.] KG: What I offer is not a backstab...as so many have in the past....     but an alliance. [Crowd pop] KG: Icehawk, you and your partner stood back from our challenge...but     by acknowledging it, you have my respect. At Snow Brawl, Icehawk,     this offer is null and void. Alliance with the Natural Predators     for both you and Edmund, under my management. Think it over, no     strings attached. In the weeks to come...you might need as many     allies as you can get.     Think it over. [Crowd pops as Kuyler and the Predators leave.] Icehawk seemed to be pondering the offer, but while he was doing so Goode went for a rare advantage, clipping out the Fin's knee. From there, Goode went on to promptly screw up his chance by telegraphing a back body drop, which Icehawk countered with a nasty spinning DDT. Although he continued to use some power-based moves throughout the match, Icehawk from there changed tacks to a mostly aerial attack. With the fans spurring him on all the way, many telling him he was the rightful Cruiserweight Champion, Icehawk went to work pummeling Goode, who wasn't even smart enough or able enough to roll out of the way of the many high-risk moves the Olympian employed. He did, however, briefly turn the tide when Icehawk tried for an Oklahoma sideroll and muffed it, allowing Goode to go to his trademark offense of series of weak punches. Icehawk came back stronger than ever, though, determined to put on a show following his blown spot, and hit an incredible Shooting Star Press to make up for it, declining to pin. Instead, he picked up Goode into piledriver position only to bodyslam him in a move he calls the Icicle, easily taking the win. As soon as the pin was registered, the real fun began for Icehawk. He was immediately dumped on by a torrent of raw fish falling from the rafters, catching him by surprise as we'd assume anyone would be if it started raining mackerel just for the halibut. While Icehawk tried to escape the Marine life, he was jumped by Shadoe Rage who'd run like greased lightning from the back. "Savage" hit a football tackle from behind to knock him over, and then rolled him outside the ring so he could introduce icehawk's head to the ring steps repeatedly. The JJS ran out en masse to stop the pummeling, except the Barnicles who started grabbing as many fish as they could. Winner: Icehawk via pinfall at 5:11. DB: Icehawk gets the first win of his singles career, although many think he should have had it last Saturday. Imagine that, someone getting screwed by the IIWF. Never. LM: [suspiciously] You're not being sacrast... sarcisti... You're not      making fun, are you? DB: No. No I'm not. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Ronnie Paris vs. El Super Gecko ------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Gecko showed his true charisma as he walked to the ring, hissing out what passes for initimidating threats like "Parissssss.... you can't hurt the lizard, but he can hurt you! Hissss......" The Texan then appeared, seeming unintimidated, and as always wearing his "Property of the Soundbite Special Forces" t-shirt and bringing his four security guards to the ring with him. Early in the match, Paris dodged the Gecko's advances and mostly tried to stall, making the fans even less likely to support him. However, soon enough he went to work, methodically working down the Gecko with submission holds, especially targeting the left shoulder. The first time he clamped on a resthold, his security guards went about trying to stem the tide of "Ronnie Sucks!" chants with "USA!" chants, but to no avail. There were few patriots in the audience, apparently, but that didn't stop Paris or his goons from continuing to try and foster the chant through the whole match. This distraction led to the Gecko getting some offense off on Paris, reversing a sleeper attempt by nailing a jawbreaker, and then covering to get a near fall. This incensed Paris, who came back with a viciousness and started to pummel the Gecko with power moves. Finally, he nailed the Paris-Plex for the win, and left in the wrestling equivalent of a hissy fit, angry that no one would chant "USA!" for him. Winner: Ronnie Paris via pinfall at 7:44 LM: I used to like that guy, but now I don't. DB: I know the feeling. Paris will take on "To Excess" Rick Williams this weekend in a match that could be on the middle of any card in the world. LM: I still can't tell... you makin' fun or not? DB: Let's go to our next match. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Subway Psycho/Tony Starks vs. The Rotundos ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Expect a short recap here, because the team of Starks and the Psycho was totally dominant, making this a short match. Right from the start, they were working together as if they'd been a team for years, informing each other on blind tags and double-teams as if by telepathy. Both veterans were too smart to try and match strength with the huge Rotundos one-on-one, but they did squeeze off some double suplexes, and mostly relied on taking the fat men off their feet with rocking clotheslines, crafty drop-toe holds and attacks to the knees. Once both Rotundos were hobbled, Starks went to work on them with various judo holds and some nasty variants on the leglock, while the Psycho pounded the downed men with more aerially inclined attacks. Finally, Starks motioned that the Psycho should hold off the man on the outside as he applied the Katha Jime on the legal man, accquiring a quick tap-out. The vets left in victory, barely having broke a sweat and earning a lot of respect from the crowd for their teamwork. Winners: Subway Psycho/Tony Starks via submission at 3:30 DB: Now here's a team that I like, these are two veterans that sometimes     get ignored around here, but you can't deny their skill. LM: They looked real good, Dan. DB: Dave. Do you even know what team I was talking about? LM: [puzzled] The Machines? DB: I'll Machine you. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Lord Byron vs. Scott "The Whine" Bloom ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Scott "the Whine" Bloom made his entrance unannounced, walking to the ring and complaining about being overlooked for the World Title shot at Snow Brawl. Upon making it to the ring, he asked for a live mic to whine into, and thankfully wasn't given it. His attempted tirade was cut off by the pop surrounding Lord Byron's entrance (or was the pop for Lady DeWinter?). In any event, Byron enjoyed loud and unreserved cheers from the fans for one of the first times ever, and really milked it for all it was worth. Once he got to the ring and the match started, his Lordship but on a clinic. Every kind of suplex, "fill in the name of the body part" lock and any conceivable slam was on display. Byron's best moves included a picture perfect series of backbreakers, a Dandinal cradle that Bloom only escaped because Byron allowed it, and a top-rope fisherman suplex that drew apreciative whistles from the crowd (or again, was that for DeWinter?). Bloom offered absolutely no offense in return, falling victim to the new version of the Aristoclutch and giving up after suffering for a few seconds. Winner: Lord Byron via submission at 3:58 LM: He's British, you know. DB: Thanks for pointing that out, I hadn't noticed. LM: You gotta watch out for 'em... sometimes they can pass for     Canadians, but I can always tell. DB: How nice for you. LM: He's named after a writer, you know. Write poems. Romance stuff, like about Don... Don something. DB: [to someone offstage] Can I use your phone? I need to fire my agent. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley (c) vs "Mr. Majestyk" Maurice McArthur [NON-TITLE MATCH] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Surprisingly enough, 4M walked alone for this one, not having Joe Petrow accompany him to the ring. He garnered about as much heat as a JJS member ever has. He seems a bit troubled by a bad back suffered at the hands of Quigley earlier, but definitely has in intensity what he lacks in health. Quigley did not appear alone, bringing Steve Manning along to the ring with him. The two openly mocked "Mr. Majestyk" as they made their way to the ring, but the fans and especially the Sychopaths, fought back by bringing up Quigley's loss to McArthur some time back. Maurice went right to work with an offensive arsenal of mostly punches and elbows, his mobility obviously and seriously limited. Quigley was on his heels for a moment, but soon started to block the weak attacks and booted 4M in the gut, taking advantage as he was doubled over to hit a piledriver. From there, 4M never got much of a chance to get any offense, as he continued to be pummeled on with elbows, a great pumphandle suplex that led to a near fall, and a belly-to-belly superplex that even the largely anti-Quigley crowd had to appreciate. Quigley looked about to put his man away, but suddenly 4M grabbed Quigley almost out of nowhere, and dropped him with a neck-cutter he calls the Majestifier. It shocked Quigley and was enough for a two count, but the champ did kick out. From there, Quigley hit a retaliatory atomic drop to take back control, and mowed down his would-be challenger with a spin kick. Instead of dickering around any longer, he snapped on the Quickstriker and McArthur was soon tapping out, feeling immense pain in his bad back. Quigley wouldn't let go of the hold, though, keeping it on as Steve Manning ran into the ring to stomp on 4M. Quigley then let go before risking disqualification, and joined his compatriot in stomping away on McArthur. The two continued their barrage until Shadoe Rage charged out yet again, trying to get to Quigley. Manning cut him off in the aisle, and the two proceeded to brawl to a stalemate while Quigley addressed the camera, pointing to McArthur and saying "Duncan, you're next!" and going through motions to mock his kilt-wearing. Winner: Intercontinental Champion Chris Quigley via submission at 5:28 DB: And so ends the last Wednesday War Room of 1997, with a set up for     the Quigley-Macbeth match this Saturday night. LM: Neither of those guys are American either. DB: Haven't we been through this discussion before? LM: Producer's saying show's up. DB: Well, that must be all the time we have this week and, indeed, this     year. Say goodnight, Larry. LM: Goodnight, Larry. [Fade out as "Auld Land Syne" begins to play, Morton groaning as if the song's hurting his head.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Jim Jividen | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | brokeback@webtv.net | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+