[Open to a shot of Steve "The Fury" Kowalski stalking about the ring, preparing for a big match. No sound begins until a montage of notable Skullpumps begins to roll, at which point the 1933 Disney classic "Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?" chimes in. Kowalski is seen Skullpumping a variety of IIWF'ers... Joe Petrow, Poutine Janois, Marty Warnett, various JJS members... and finally the spiked Skullpump on Brody Thunder. Finish with a still shot of Kowalski holding the IIWF Title in the air. As the photo sits there, however, a gun sight rolls lazily towards Kowalski's head, moving ever closer and closer. Finally, his head is perfectly lined up, and a shot is heard. The screen goes bright red. Cut to a shot of Brody Thunder holding a smoking shotgun, the IIWF World Title draped over his shoulder. He smirks to the camera as a narrator begins to speak.] VO: Thunder-Kowalski III... missing this one could be deadly. [Suddenly, the opening graphics explode onto the screen:                            _  _ __      __ ___                           | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|                           | || | \ v  v / | __|                           |_||_|  \_/\_/  |_|                         __  __      __ _______   __                  |    //_  / | /| //_ /__   / | /__|\__/                  | / //   /  // |//      \ /  //   /  /                  |/|//__ /__//  //_______//__//   /__/                         ___  ___      ___   ________                  |    //__| /__\     /__\  /  //  //|/|                  | / //   //   \    /   \ /  //  // / |                  |/|//   //    /   /    //__//__//    |                  --------------------------------------                             January 7 1998 [Switch to a panning shot of the IIWF Hall of Fame Broadcast Wing. Such historical exhibits as a pair of "High Roller" John McClain fuzzy dice, a collection of tapes labelled "The Best of the Soundbite: Steve Roberts, We Hardly Knew Ye", a framed statement from an old PWI Digest reading "The IIWF seems free of the ego clashes in other promotions", and a playbill for a Simon LeBec movie. Cut to the broadcast table, where Larry Morton and an oddly satisfied Dave Bacon sit, shuffling papers.] LM: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the All Smash Wednesday War Room!     Welcome to the hottest hour of wrestling action you can find on a     Wednesday Night! Welcome to Portland, Oregon, where we will get you     wrestling junkies that weekly dose of action you need to get along like the salivating dogs you are! DB: Wow, Larry, did you come up with that intro all by yourself? LM: Well, Steve Roberts suggested the salivating dogs comment. If I may     ask, why are you so happy to be here? DB: Because, if only in a small measure, the IIWF has caved in! After we     return to air following Snow Brawl, I'm going to start doing the Bacon Bit! LM: That is surprising. Will you show the Steve Owens story? DB: No, by mutual consent we decided not to air that. But it's a small     compromise. It was easy, too... all I had to do was threaten to walk     out and work for that new duck racing promotion starting up across town. LM: I wouldn't know anything about that, let's just go to the first match. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Fabulous Ones vs Down Boys ------------------------------------------------------------------------ There was much pre-match intrigue here, as the Fabs saw two young women in rocker garb leaving their dressing room just as they walked in to see it littered with garbage and anti-Asian slurs. This would seem to cast guilt on the Down Boys, but they had a similar experience in seeing two young Oriental women leave their dressing room area just before they saw their walls covered with graffiti. Both teams, not knowing what the other had experienced, thus came out fired up and eschewed any of their usual flamboyance in entrances. It was a heated encounter even before the match started, as the two teams met in the aisle for a brawl. Usually a tough cookie on such things, Earl Alfonso was still healing up from the bad day for officials on Saturday and didn't bother to police the teams too hard. Finally, after a stalemated brawl the four men ended up in the ring and the bell was rung, allowing the match to start. Almost right away the Fabs took an early advantage with Sho Satsuma hitting a hiptoss, and then going into a version of the Fargo strut he calls the "Nagoya Strut" before flipping Adam Peterson the bird. The match went on from their to be a fairly even contest, with both teams going to a brawling style much more than usual. It was obvious the two were angry, as the Down Boys largely ignored their DI schtick to try and inflict more punishment, while the Fabs didn't pose much (for them, anyway). Both Peterson and Dan Oliver relied on a lot of double team moves, hitting a particularly nice double top-rope legdrop at one point that almost got them the win, while the Fabs used all the classic heel tag team spots, diverting one of the Down Boys to occupy the ref while choking out the other one on several occasions. Some individual spots also shined, with Agito Nakijima nailing a rarely seen butterfly suplex into a cradle for a near fall, and Dan Oliver hit a great tumbleweed legdrop. Though both teams shined and fought with intensity, neither seemed able to take a decisive advantage. That is, until the four aformentionned girls made an appearance around ringside. Being rather attractive young lasses, none of the wrestlers seemed to mind their presence until each received a facefull of powder, temporarily blinding them. With that, both of the Tag Team champs made an appearance carrying steel chairs, and started to whack anything in sight. Porteaux and Ramos KO'ed all four men as Alfonso frantically called for a draw. None of the four tag members were able to put up any defense as they got knocked out. The Lost Boyz walked out in triumph, Eddy Ramos proclaiming to the camera "Shoot... and this was OUR idea!". But it wasn't over there. Nope, after the champs left Simon O'Neal of the Machines made an appearance to attack all four of the downed men, showing more opportunism than bravado. He got his kicks in, but soon took off when the Fabs appeared to be rising. Drawn by Double Disqualification at 11:26 LM: The tag team scene is absolutely electric going into Snow Brawl...     and you have to believe that Simon O'Neal will do _anything_ to get an advantage heading into his Machines match with the Fabulous Ones. DB: Both those teams are also in the Tag Team Battle Royal, of course,     but I'd suggest a fresh team with more weight should be the favourite, and I'm leaning towards the Natural Predators or LFD. LM: Speaking of the Predators, they were also in action tonight, and     their match didn't go down without a little of the controversy our     opener saw. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Natural Predators vs Prophets of Rage ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Fans of tag wrestling were treated to another heated contest, as it was evident from the opening bell that these twosomes were well matched. Grey Phoenix started for his team against Derek Rage, and was immediately pressing his speed advantage with quick combos, ie. armbar-to-legsweep-to-elbowdrop in the blink of an eye. Rage couldn't counter that much speed despite his natural agility, so he went to more of a power attack and slowed the Phoenix down with a big spinebuster after an attempt at yet another aerial attempt. Rage worked methodically in tearing the Phoenix apart, exploiting his strength advantage as best he could, but was unable to keep the high-flyer permanently grounded and ended up giving up a tag. The massive Bear entered and immediately gave the Prophets trouble, but the Rage clan used a lot of quick tags to fight back. Derek switched effortlessly into a faster pace against the less mobile Bear, hitting and running to make sure he didn't stay in the ring too long. The Dirt Dog spelled Rage but had more trouble, trying to use to much of a ground-based style against Bear and paying in punishing bearhugs and suplexes. However, he didn't have to suffer long as Derek would soon come in to save him. Bear started to get winded, but the Prophets just didn't have the mass to prevent him from making the hot tag to the Phoenix. As soon as the rested aerialist was back in, momentum swung back to the Predators. DDUA got caught in the ring with him to start, and was instantly hit with a hurricarana. A tired Allah was easily exploited by the Phoenix, who just kept on hitting high risk moves. Bear suggested a tag at one point, but the Phoenix instead went to the well once too often and missed a moonsault, allowing Allah to make a much-needed tag. From there, Derek had an early advantage with a series of slams but couldn't keep it when the Phoenix slipped out of the ring for a breather. He got back in for a tag to Bear, who was rested and started to put the match away against a worn down Prophets team. Even double-teaming didn't help much, he was on too much of a roll to slow down. After having hit a belly-to-back suplex on Allah, he looked ready to finish things off but was interrupted by yet another visit from the Lost Boyz. The champs brought their chairs out again and, while the ref was duly distracted, broke past Kuyler Greyson to blast the Preds. They beat a quick exit, and one Headwrecker to the outside later the Prophets had picked up a cheapened win. Winners: Prophets of Rage via count-out at 13:44 LM: Another fantastic tag match, and we have two more to update you on. DB: Steve Roberts may deride the division, and to be brutally honest tag     wrestling is in a lull across the industry, but we still have a good     deal of talent in the IIWF tag ranks. I like these Natural Predators and I think they stack up to great teams of the IIWF's past like the Dark Disciples and the Armed Forces. LM: What about the Syndicate? DB: You know I'm not allowed to comment on that. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Subway Psycho/Tony Starks vs High Plains Drifters ------------------------------------------------------------------------ After two very close contests, the fans were treated to a blowout. The Drifters looked totally directionless and, more importantly, totally outclassed as the two veterans put on a tag team clinic. Easy and Pale stumbled into each other and were off on timing, while Starks displayed just about every submission hold known to man and the Psycho pounded the drugstore cowboys with a variety of power moves and aerial attacks. Starks was particuarly impressive with a cobra sleeper which he eventually followed through with a suplex and his patented Dragon Screw Leg Whip. The Psycho finished things off with his Derailer, capping a great performance for both men. Apologies for the short recap, but there was really very little to detail in what was about as one-sided a defeat as we've ever seen the Drifters take. Winners: Subway Psycho/Tony Starks via pinfall at 3:18 LM: I'm not sure which is the bigger story... the incredible show put on     by these two veterans or the total lack of offence offered by the High Plains Drifters. DB: Are they still with the promotion? LM: Starks and the Psycho are so far undefeated as a tag team, and they     will move on to face the Lost Boyz on Saturday with Tag Team gold on the line! DB: I don't care what name the Lost Boyz use, if Starks and the Psycho     wrestle like they did today no team on this planet can beat them. I'm predicting new champions this weekend. LM: No offense to those two great stars, but my gut feeling is that the     Lost Boyz will escape with a win. It certainly won't be easy, though. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Harlequins vs Licensed For Devestation ------------------------------------------------------------------------ A fourth straight tag match still seemed to have the fans on the edges of their seats, especially since we had some extracurricular visitors in this one. After an uneventful entrance by LFD, the entire Harlequin clan made their way to the ring, this including scheduled wrestlers Chaos and Terror, lovely ladies Melody and Comedy, and singles star Tragedy carrying his chainsaw "Binky". Certainly, the odds seemed stacked against Starr and Chaos. This was compounded by the relative uselessness of Jon Chaos during the match. Upon seeing the odds and, more importantly, weapons stacked against him, he went through a mini-break down that affected his offense throughout the match, harkening back to mental troubles from Ring Wars IV. Reggie Starr fought alone, mostly against 2-1 odds or even more at times as the Harlequinettes often distracted the official with their feminine charms, allowing for double teams to go unpunished. Starr was thus pummeled in the early going, not able to mount any offense against a Harlequin before the other one was attacking him, legally or not. However, Starr did gain an advantage when he was able to play the two against each other for a while, ducking out of the way of a double clothesline and letting Chaos accidentally take Terror off his feet. From there, Starr went into the "house of fire" mode, dropping anything that moved with a right hand. He ended up tossing both men out of the ring and held court by himself for a moment. His momentum was short-lived, though, as he got disoriented following a Terror savate kick to the head. Starr had been getting pummeled about the head all match, and it seemed to be paying off now as the Quins wore him down further with claw holds and other submissions to the neck and head. Still, however, Starr fought on, somehow kicking out of pin after pin, shucking off submissions, and finally getting a big break with a pumphandle suplex. The move caught Terror off guard, but Comedy kept the ref distracted during the pin attempt and Harlequin Chaos held back John Chaos while Melody rolled the pin over. In the end, LFD was just up against too much Harlequins. Winners: Harlequins via pinfall at 9:32 LM: With that many people about ringside, how can you fail to win? DB: Everyone's heard that there's strength in numbers. The Harlequins     aren't doing anything original, but it is effective when you have a team like the Lost Boyz interfering in every second match. LM: What about Tragedy's chainsaw? I find that inappropriate and I really think the Special Concerns Committee should try to ban it. DB: You're right. Who ever heard of a chainsaw wielding wrestler? ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Chris Stonebreaker vs Charles Scheffield ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Our viewers in Atlanta will be pleased to know there won't be any more tag matches tonight... This one pit two newcomers, both looking to prove something heading into the Snow Brawl six-man tags, and both succeding. The arrogant Conneticut technician was able to establish early dominance with his grappling skills, keeping the Cajun from using his limbs and wrapping him up in a wide variety of leg submissions. Keeping Stonebreaker grounded wasn't totally effective, though, as he did manage to connect with a few of his punches and chops, and once doing so had time to set up more powerful moves like a nasty piledriver that set up his first near fall. As the match wore on, things seemed to favour Stonebreaker just a bit. His confidence coming off beating Takezo Musashi was obviouisly high, but he avoided a lot of rookie mistakes as well and didn't allow Scheffield the goof-ups to capitalize on that he needs to thrive. Still, the match stayed slow-paced and the Cajun's legs and arms ached from Scheffield's constant pulling. The submissions started getting sloppier as Stonebreaker was able to pour on more slam and suplex based offense, weaking Scheffield overall. He was, in fact, almost put away with a crucifix power bomb, and Stonebreaker looked ready to set up his Rockslide Suplex when Luke Steele made a hasty entrance. The Real Deal, unseen by yet another official doing a lousy job, managed to drag Scheffield by his foot to the outside, where he promptly knocked out the aristocrat's lights with the patented Floating DDT. Stonebreaker, not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, was about to take the easy pin when Lord Byron appeared seemingly from nowhere to make a save for Scheffield. An infuriated Stonebreaker got right into Byron's face, and the two got into an intense staredown from which there seemed to be no escape. That is, of course, until... WHAM! Steele hit Byron with the Floating DDT! Luke stepped up to take Byron's place in the staredown, and only a horde of recouperating officials was able to break the two apart. RESULT: No Contest LM: A great match goes down the drain due to interference... but on the     bright side, it does give us an indication of how wild all those Six Man tag matches will be. Steele is Stonebreaker's partner, but they almost got into it here. DB: Snow Brawl is the kind of a show where a man can get his first big     break... last year, Marty Warnett surprised a few people and earned an Intercontinental Title shot. This year, maybe it'll be the impressive Stonebreaker with another big win, maybe Luke Steele's hot streak continues, or maybe this young Scheffield finally gets his first big win together. LM: It could be one of the old guard too, maybe a Watkins or an Annis.     That's the beauty of the draw. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Icehawk vs Richard "Moxy" Blue vs Mark Destructo ------------------------------------------------------------------------ In a triangle match where all three men were legal at once, this turned out to be a fairly one-sided affair. None of the three seemed interested in anything more than very short term alliances, but even on his own Icehawk was clearly in control of the match, keeping the big Destructo reeling with dropkicks and aerial attacks while he used a lot of power moves on the smaller Blue, showing a usually unseen barrage of power bombs and suplexes. Blue did fight back somewhat, but his style was too high-risk by far and he missed more than he hit. Destructo, however, did even less. He seemed totally disinterested in the match and was just going through the motions, which consequently meant he was getting hammered. Icehawk knew he only needed one fall to win, so he kept trying to put away Blue following a power move, but the resilient Moxy kept bouncing up like a ping-pong ball. Destructo acted more like a medecine ball, but little of the attack was focused on him, just enough to keep him off balance. Icehawk must have felt that, as a bigger man, he'd be harder to pin. Blue spent much of the last part of the match on the defensive, kicking out of pins and ducking kicks, but soon Icehawk had him ready for the Icicle. But as he was doing so, Destructo had the referee unintentionally distracted, allowing former Bradley Reed boydguard Stone to enter the ring and waffle Icehawk with a chair. This caused the Finn to fall right to the outside, where he was hit with a tremendous chokeslam. Serge Annis woulda been proud. Back in the ring, Blue turned his attention to Destructo and hit a high cross boyd, following through to cover for the win. Following the match, Blue and Stone celebrated in ring, Blue much moreso than stone, while Edmund Fitzgerald made an appearance to help his former partner away. Winner: Richard "Moxy" Blue via pinfall at 14:46 DB: Can I have the first word after a match for a change? LM: You just did. DB: Well, we were surprised to see Stone working with "Moxy" Blue, and     dismayed to see Icehawk's bad luck continue, and also treated to see     what the administration hopes will be Mark Destructo's last IIWF match. However, bigger surprises were yet to come. LM: The Cruiserweight Title was on the line, two recently sworn enemies     were battling... a recipe for chaos. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Tim Turner [c] vs "Heatseeker" Derek Mota - Cruiserweight Title Match ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Blue refused to leave ringside as the official for the next match arrived, so they got into an argument. Not too much of an argument, though, as Stone is an intimidating presence. Mota did not appear when introduced, so we went on to Turner who made a fairly trademark flamboyant entrance. Blue didn't look particuarly impressed, and once Turner got close to the ring he gave a signal to Stone, who promptly chokeslammed the ref into oblivion. The twosome then left, avoiding direct contact with Turner but with Mota making belt motions all the way, insinuating he should be champ. Turner was interested in having a sanctionned match, so he went over to the fallen ref and tried to rouse him. Bad move, as this was when Derek Mota chose to strike from behind, using his fake cast as a weapon to bludgeon Turner about the head. The boos went up mightily for Mota as he hammered away on the Cruiserweight Champion, getting his licks in with the cast before taking off to yet another loud round of boos. RESULT: No Contest LM: Tim Turner, although I'm sure his very miffed by all this, can't     afford to focus too much on either Moxy Blue or Derek Mota, who will     team with Duncan Macbeth and himself at Snow Brawl. He has to worry     about defending his title this weekend. DB: I don't think he's in a lot of trouble. Ronnie Paris and Takezo     Musashi aren't going to be a cohesive tag team, in fact they'll be more likely to cost each other the match than their opponents will. LM: In spite of all that, though, there's always the threat of a fluke     pin. Besides, Turner will be thinking about revenge, especially on Derek Mota, and may overlook this challenge. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ "Sychosys" Joe Petrow vs "Sanguinary" Steve Manning ------------------------------------------------------------------------ LM: Both men had some comments before this match... let's take a look. ["Sychosys" Joe Petrow and "Mr. Majestyk" Maurice McArthur stand outside the back door of their white Ford Bronco "Sychomobile" in the IIWF Coliseum parking lot.  As the camera approaches, we see them intently studying what appears to be a map abd a building floor plan.  As Petrow becomes aware of the camera, he turns around in anger.] JP: Hey, get out of here!  And Manning, get ready to feel the agony of     the Quigtasia! [Petrow walks to the camera, and the feed abruptly cuts out. The shot flicks backstage where Steve Manning is standing, wearing a "I'm a flamin' tosser and proud of it!" t-shirt.  He seems to be quite happy about something.] SM: Welcome to my world, Joey.  It's a world you probably know quite well.  A world where rainbows are black and neon pink.  A world where the sky is on the ground, and the ground is in the sky.  Quite simply, one whacked out f'n world! [Manning chuckles.] SM: A submission match, eh?  There's a difference between you and me, Petrow.  Oh, you may be a tough mother, but you just deal with the pain. I thrive on it.  Pain is my best friend, and I'm ready to take the relationship to the next step.  Unfortunatly for you, it means Joe Petrow and the Sychopaths are making the shortest comeback in the history of the IIWF, besides Alex Rio. [Manning laughs estatically, and then characteristically goes dead serious.] SM: Make me feel enough pain to give up Petrow.  Make me actually get my fill of agony.  I dare you.  I God damn, mother [BLEEP]in' dare ya! [Manning laughs again as the camera cuts back to the commentators.] Neither man made a totally conventional entrance, with Petrow first arriving froom the stands, coming through the Sycopaths with 4M at his side, wearing only basic black boots and trunks. Manning then appeared, wearing the "tosser" shirt from his earlier comments and accompanied not by Chris Quigley but by JJS member Scott "The Whine" Bloom. Bloom was complaining about only getting to manage in the main event and not wrestle it, but no one was listening. As soon as Manning got close enough to the ring, he dove in to start things off and went right to work with a lightning-quick strike to Petrow's gonads, risking immediate disqualification. Fortunately, the match didn't end there. Both men in the early goings sought an advantage with some pretty weird spots, starting with Petrow hitting an early Dragon Asspump. (That meaning he hit it out of a full nelson, ie dragon suplex.) This gave Sychosis the early momentum, but he had trouble keeping it when Manning produced a kiwi he'd been hiding somewhere under the ring and smeared it in Petrow's face, taking away some of his vision for a time. Manning followed up his advantage with some questionnable use of a chair that almost got him disqualified yet again before he used it to tie up Petrow with a figure-four, through the chair if you can believe that. Petrow seemed to be in a lot of pain, but he made no move to give up, boding well for his coming submission match with Quigley. On the outside, Scott Bloom was trying to coerce Mr. Majestyk back into the JJS fold, to little success. Manning continued to work hard, and continued to skirt with disqualification after another series of blatant low blows that he tried to pass of as accidental. However, Petrow just kept coming, and the Sanguinary One didn't seem to have an answer as he got blasted in the skull with enzuigiris, bounced off turnbuckles at full speed, and slammed around. Petrow at one point had the Bullet Train to Hell set up, but Manning was very fortunate to put a block up in time and was doubly fortunate to be close to the ropes so he could grab hold. Luck can only hold out so long, though, so Manning tried to finish things with a Brainshock squaredriver. Petrow saw it coming and countered purposefully, rolling over his back and into a Victory Roll position. He kept rolling through the Victory roll past the pin into a Stump Puller submission, putting tremendous pressure on Manning's leg. Steve held out bravely, but couldn't do so forever and had to tap out. Petrow's victory party was shortlived, though, as he turned to see Quigley's face on the video monitor, uttering threats of revenge. Petrow scoffed at them until he turned to take an umbrella in the eye from Manning. Steve went to work hammering him, and when 4M tried to make a save he was shocked to find Quigley there beside him. The dynamic duo easily put 4M away, and then went to work introducing the umbrella to Petrow's head, labelling him well and thoroughly before leaving to deafening boos. Winner: Joe Petrow by submission at 8:20 LM: We're about a minute over time here, and going to catch hell for it, so I'll just say... see you in a few weeks. Buy Snow Brawl! [Fade to black.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Jim Jividen | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | brokeback@webtv.net | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+