. ___. __ ____ __ ________ ______ ||\ |/ | || | | || | || |\ \ /\ / /| __| || \|\__ | __||__ | |_||__ | || | \ v v / | __| || | \|/ || | | || |_||_| \_/\_/ |_| ||______/|\__||__ | | ||_________________________ with Tim Dross and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts Tuesday 13 January 1998 ................................................... ["Tiny Bubbles" by Don Ho plays as the shot opens on a panoramic view of the Hawaiian island of Oahu.  We see the emerald colored Koolau mountains in which are nestled the Valley of the Temples Memorial Park, the waves crashing upon the golden coastline of Waikiki Beach as the world famous Diamond Head comes into view... the Winward Coast... the Polynesian Cultural Center... and to the memorial to the USS Arizona on Pearl Harbor... We see the devouring nightlife of the eleventh largest city in the United States, Honolulu, and, almost as an extension of the skyline... the campus of the University of Hawaii and the 52,000 seat Aloha Stadium. The shot cuts to a swirl of the state of the art facility, the IIWF crew languidly manipulating the four detachable rows of bleachers which surround the platform on which sit veteran commentators Tim Dross and Steve "Soundbite" Roberts. Each man is dressed in white shorts, sunglases and a garish flowered shirt.  Roberts is also wearing his leather jacket and under his unbuttoned shirt is a white tee which reads, "You Know Where." The lyric "And I'm feeling like I'm gonna love you 'till the end of time" wafts through the air like so much plumeria and then fades.] TD: Hello again everybody... you are _tuned_in_ to the only place on earth to spend a Snow Brawl, Aloha Stadium in beautiful Honolulu, Hawaii. SR: Where it's 80 degrees and sunny... every day for the rest of your life. TD: You are _tuned_in_ to "Inside The IIWF," your thirty minute look at all the news, views, reviews and previews -- highlights and sidelights, cheers and jeers.  A look behind at the week that was and then up ahead at what will be here in the HOTTEST professional wrestling organization in the world today... [Dross pauses, motioning to the crew, who wearily finish his catchphrase...] "The _mighty_ IIWF!" TD: I am your host Tim Dross, alongside, as always, my tag team colleague, the man who is... I don't want to say this, Steve Roberts... SR: Come on, Dross.  Please?  Pleeeeeeaaaseeee?  Pretty Please with Kari Wuhrer on top? TD: Fine.  ...the man who is "harder than differential calculus"... two and a half Grapple Award Winning, Steve "Soundbite" Roberts! [Applause from the crew, a "Show The Tape!" chant going up among the technicians.] SR: Dross, it's good to be young, pretty, loaded with rasslin' greenbacks and livin' in paradise.  At this very moment, I wouldn't wanna be anybody else but me. TD: And at the end of tonight's show we will take a look at another side of you, Steve Roberts, and look at what apparently is a music video which you shot overseas in 1994. SR: I'm in hell.  TD: In fact, after showing those clips on last week's "Inside the IIWF", we received a few dozen calls from people who said they possesed this record album... [Dross pulls out an actual album cover, a photo of what appears to be the blue jean covered backside of Steve Roberts is displayed below the title, "Sing, Soundbite! Sing!"  "Steve "Soundbite" Roberts Sings The Love Songs of the 80's"] SR: Havin' your little fun, Dross?  Are you really enjoying yourself here? TD: As a matter of fact, we listened to a few of these tracks this afternoon, Steve -- I can't understand why you kept this little project from us. SR: Okay, you want to play your little games -- fine.  Whatever.  The All-Powerful Soundbite is in Hawaii just five days from watching Brody Thunder get run out of the IIWF, Chris Quigley quit like a shoe salesman who just won the lottery -- and the Cruiserweight Champion of the World, Ronnie Paris, batter that Laotian... TD: Japanese. SR: ...Musashi like he was his loser daddy.  So, you play your little tape, Dross... I want you to.  I would love it.  I would love it.  Go ahead... play it now.  Maybe I'll just sing a little right now, Dross. TD: Later, Mr. Sinatra, later.  First it's time to get to the business at hand, the reason why we're all here... it's time to take our very special _First_Look_ at all the big action that will come your way this Saturday Night... Let's take our First Look... at Snow Brawl! ________ ______ | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|.................................................. | || | \ v v / | __| FIRST LOOK: |_||_| \_/\_/ |_| IIWF Snow Brawl: 17 January 1998 ....................................................................... IIWF World Heavyweight Championship Cell Match: "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder vs. Steve "the Fury" Kowalski Submission Match: "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley vs. "Sychosys" Joe Petrow Snow Brawl Survivors Match: ? vs. ? vs. ? IIWF Cruiserweight Championship Ladder Match: Ronnie Paris vs. "Enigma" Takezo Musashi IIWF World Tag Team Championship Match: Lost Boyz vs. BATTLE ROYAL WINNERS Snow Brawl Mixed Tag Match: Duncan Macbeth, Derek Mota, "Rocket Man" Timothy N. Turner vs. Serge Annis, Mad Dog Watkins, "To Excess" Rick Williams Allies Collide: "Spotlight" Billy Shakespeare vs. Marty Warnett Snow Brawl Mixed Tag Match: Lord Byron, Meatman, Charles Scheffield vs. "Real Deal" Luke Steele, Deathbringer, Christopher Stonebreaker TAG TEAM BATTLE ROYAL: featuring: The Down Boys, Team Sychosys, The Fabulous Ones, High Plains Drifters, The Machines, Licensed for Devastation, The Harlequins, Natural Predators, The Lost Boyz, Prophets of Rage, Tony Starks & Subway Psycho, Barnacle Brothers, The Rotundos Snow Brawl Mixed Tag Match: Icehawk, Richard "Moxy" Blue, Ike Sampson vs. Edmund Fitzgerald, Tragedy, "Savage" Shadoe Rage FREE FOR ALL: Settling Old Scores: Machines vs. Fabulous Ones Steve Manning vs. "Mr. Majestyk" Maurice McArthur TD: Folks, Snow Brawl is the official kickoff to the wrestling year -- this is is the first major PPV of 1998 -- and a chance for every single member of the IIWF roster to forever carve his name admist the pantheon of professional wrestlers. SR: Sling it brother, Dross! TD: ...and that may have never more been the case than our double main event this Saturday Night.  Four men, all of whom can make legitimate claims at being considered among the best wrestlers in the world today -- and all of whom are prepared to fight for all he is worth, live on Pay-Per-View only five short days away. SR: It's more than that, Dross.  I'll tell you right now that if you asked any one of these guys who the best wrestler in the world is -- they'd, if they were being honest, they'd all say themselves. You got guys like Petrow and Quigley... You don't think, deep inside, they think they oughta be fighting for the IIWF Title?  You don't think Fury Kowalski thinks he's better than Thunder... you don't think Brody Thunder looks at that number one ranking he got in '97 and says, "Damn right, damn right I'm number one."?  Well, not that Thunder can read... but someone's probably read it to him. Hell, yeah they do, Dross.  I guarantee it. TD: Well, we are going to find out at Snow Brawl live on pay-per-view which man is the "best wrestler in the world" when two-time IIWF Champion Brody Thunder defends against Triple Crown Winner Steve Kowalski inside the confines of an enclosed steel cage! These two athletes have traded pinfalls in the last month, neither able to establish a definitive upper hand.  Steve Kowalski defeated Brody Thunder and Serge Annis in that shocking triangle match... and two weeks ago, Thunder regained that title in a parking lot brawl.  SR: And this all stems from that triple cross, Dross.  Steve Kowalski is the only man who Brody Thunder crossed that night who is still in the IIWF, there were a total of seven IIWF superstars who were left laid out that night, seven guys were left broken in and out of the ring when that drugstore cowboy grabbed the IIWF by the cajones... and the only guy still here is Steve "the Fury" Kowalski. TD: It is truly unbelievable. SR: That was one of those moments, Dross... in every match there's a crossroads moment, in every relationship there's a crossroads moment... and in the IIWF there are crossroads moments. And, Dross -- the last one came that night of the triple cross -- and the next one is this Saturday Night at Snow Brawl. TD: Your excitement about this card is palpable, Steve Roberts. SR: Nah, I don't care about the matches -- I'm talking about your making me read that poem and shave my beautiful beard.  That's the crossroads in our relationship, Dross.  You either give up on this bet -- or something vewy, vewy baaaaad will happen. TD: The beard... you're rapidly approaching Hassidic Chic, Steve Roberts. [Applause from an overly literate intern as he brings another box of doughnuts for the crew.] SR: Thank you, Dross'll be here all week -- and don't forget to tip the waitress. TD: You are correct, however.  With the recently added stipulation that the loser of this match will be leaving the IIWF for sixty days, this is a battle that will decide who will be the IIWF standardbearer for the new year.  Will it be Brody Thunder, the man who so dominated the second half of 1997... or will it be "The Fury", the beer swilling, motorcycle riding, Skullpumper who was an "S.O.B." before being an S.O.B. was cool? Two great Champions will climb into the enclosed steel cage on Saturday Night... one man will scale that cage and take possession of the IIWF Championship Belt... and walk out of that cage acknowledged as the Best Wrestler Alive... And one man will leave the IIWF. It is only at the IIWF's Snow Brawl... and it is only on Pay-Per-View! SR: Then... there's the match I'm waiting to see. TD: You and the entire world, Steve Roberts.  Since the moment Joe Petrow shocked even wrestling insiders with his return to the organization with whom he had a tremendous falling out, the IIWF, he has been dogging one "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley.  Petrow has defeated Steve Manning, Petrow was, in no small part, responsible for Quigley's loss of the Intercontinental Championship -- and Joe Petrow has maneuvered his way into this "Locked Door" Submission Match... no pinfall, no DQ... no countout and no possibility of outise interference... the only way to win is for one man to say "I Quit". SR: Oh, Chrissie.  How I have yearned for this day.  Sure... I've yearned for a lot of days... I yearned for the day when Chelsea Clinton would turn 18... I yearned for the day when the IRS would recognize my Peruvian houseboy Pepe as a legitmate business expense... I yearned for the day when all the children of the world would join hands and steal their parents' credit card numbers for the Soundbite in a spirit of peace and harmony... But most of all... most of all I have yearned for the day when the most overrated wrestler not named Kauffman in the history of this business would walk out of the ring saying, "I Quit." TD: I could not agree less, Chris Quigley had one of the great Intercontinental Championship reigns the IIWF has ever seen, with wins over Watkins, Creed, Mota, Turner and Macbeth to his credit.  Joe Petrow, for all of his much deserved acclaim, has yet to taste Federation gold.  Yes, he may be the most uniquely gifted superstar ever to grace the IIWF stage... but can he win a match of this magnitude?  We have seen Joe Petrow walk out of the IIWF before... when this match gets white hot, in the crucible of the final stages... will Joe Petrow do what it takes? Will he have the intestinal fortitude to make a Champion like Chris Quigley submit? SR: Quigley's ready to snap, Dross.  He turned on you and the morons to take up with that think he keeps in his corner... this ain't the guy who beat Dan Kauffman at Ring Wars 3, the guy who made that overrated hack tap out... this guy is runnin' on fumes, Dross.  You ask the boys in the back who the better man is.  You ask the guys on the "inside" if Quigley and Petrow are basically even in skill level... This one's a squash, Dross.  It was over before it started. TD: As we get closer and closer to match time in this one, as the experts weigh in with their opinions, it becomes increasingly clear that the IIWF will not be able to have their cake and eat it too with this one.  This is a rivalry not just between two men... but between two very different sensibilities... between two different ways to approach this great sport.  As I see it the battle lines between Chris Quigley and Joe Petrow could not be more clearly drawn... and at the end of the day, we will not only know more about the futures of these two proud, proud men... but of the IIWF as well. SR: Sold!  Sold!  Sold!!  I'll buy the damn Pay-Per-View! TD: No, you won't. SR: No, if I wasn't getting paid I wouldn't watch another wrestling match with your eyes, Dross.  TD: Joe Petrow vs. Chris Quigley... and don't forget folks, in the Free For All we will see what could be a great tipoff to this match when Steve Manning takes on Mister Majestik Maurice McArthur!  It has all the earmarks of one of the classic matches as only the IIWF can bring you... and it is only available on... Pay-Per-View! SR: 'Course... at Snow Brawl there's also the matter of a young man, a ladder, and the Pakistani guy whose ass he's gonna kick. TD: With Ronnie Paris recording the pinfall of Tim Turner on Saturday Night, the Ladder Match at Snow Brawl now becomes a contest for the IIWF Cruiserweight Championship. And a more exciting, action packed, highlight filled contest you could not hope to find.  The tough young Texan Ronnie Paris, a man who has turned his back on generations of tradition... a man who has rejected his family and his honor to align himself with... SR: With me!  With me, Dross!  With me!  Woooo!  Let me tell you something -- I gots a dozen badass Samoans and seventy-two cold ones for whomever can take out the Hungarian.  I am not one for sentimentality, I'd walk over the bodies of fairly close relatives for a well-prepared corned beef sandwich -- but I gotta say to see a punk like Paris go from being a molly-coddling milquetoast to being the Cruiserweight Champion of the world after just a few short weeks with the Special Forces brings a tear running down my cheek faster than that Burmese guy is gonna run away from the ring at Snow Brawl! TD: Would you like to take a breath? SR: I need a breath like you need a double cheeseburger, Dross.  You're talking about Ronnie Paris, a devious, evil little man with a couple of tons of prime Samoan beef at his side... a man who beat up his own father. That is one gutsy young man, Dross.  A man who would stand up to his father and say, "You will not do that to Mr. Peabody" and just smack the hell out of his old man. TD: But this Ladder Match is right up the alley of the suicidal Musashi.  This is a guy who is arguably the greatest aerialist in the history of the IIWF, a man who was defeated in that historic ladder match some 10 months ago -- the Enigma has been preparing, some would say, for this very opportunity since Ring Wars 3... and I have to believe that even you, Steve Roberts, and your Special Forces, are in trouble at Snow Brawl only on Pay-Per-View... The Ladder Match is one of the most exciting matches in all of wrestling... but is there ever a more exciting matchup than when two friends... two fan favorites meet in the middle of the ring? SR: Now, I wouldn't normally be much excited about a Warnett/Blitzsphere match-up, Dross... a lot of posing... some restholds... maybe a big ol' kiss shared at the end.. But we might see a little violence, Dross.  We might see some good guy's skull cracking.  I'd like to see Warnett take a barbed wire baseball bat and pound it... pound it... pound it right through Blitzsphere's ice cream selling head. TD: Billy Shakespeare doesn't sell ice cream. SR: Oh, sure he does.  He and that other guy started the little ice cream company in Vermont, they name their flavors after politicians who died in skiing accidents... there's "Kennedy Krispy Krunch" and "Sunny Side Up Egg Nog". [Even the Teamsters stop eating their doughnuts, shaking their heads at that one.] TD: A fascinating encounter it will be, these two friends and veterans of the IIWF rings, men who have walked the same side of the street as true members of the "Old IIWF Generation" -- and now they will meet in a big Pay-Per-View encounter in the kind of dream matchup that has to have long-time IIWF fans salivating. SR: Sure -- either way, the Soundbite wins.  Either Warnett will rip off Blitzsphere's lips or Blitzsphere will put Warnett through a plate glass window... I can't lose!  TD: Takezo Musashi vs. Ronnie Paris... SR: Remember, Dammit... I want to hear the chants... U-S-A!  U-S-A! Remember what those damn Mexicans did at Pearl Harbor!  TD: And Billy Shakespeare vs. Marty Warnett... SR: Root for injuries.  I'm gonna pre-pay for a hospital room, just so Blitzsphere has a place to go after the night is over. TD: Well... that's good of you, I suppose. SR: I'm a wonderful, wonderful man.  God Shed His Grace On Me.  Of course, the room is far away from pediatrics... we wouldn't want Blitzsphere to go Michael Jackson on us. TD: It's Saturday Night... It's Snow Brawl... and it's only on Pay-Per-View! SR: Is it time to show my video yet?  Is it time?  Can we?  Can we? Huh?  Huh? TD: Your 180 on this issue is noticeable, Steve Roberts.  Last week, you were completely opposed to our playing of your music video -- and now it seems that you've warmed to the idea.  Why the change? SR: Aw, I was just thinking about what a talented performer I am, Dross.  Sure, maybe my album of 80's love hits didn't sell all that well in the States... but abroad I was bigger than big... all through Europe -- big.  In Japan I was huge, bigger than Aya Hisakawa... TD: Shame about her going through that stalking situation. SR: Damn gaijin, what are you gonna do? TD: Well, we were see your video -- which, although I still have not seen it, is apparently quite an interesting re-working of a popular song from the 1980's. SR: I rock. TD: What also will "rock" are those Snow Brawl Matches coming up this Saturday Night.  And these matches are so... so interesting for three distinct reasons: firstly, the reward; secondly, the rules; and thirdly, the matchups. SR: Filler matches.  TD: Well, the IIWF has managed yet again to put every single wrestler in the organization on this Pay-Per-View... and given the prize at the end of the Snow Brawl Night -- these mixed tag matches could not be bigger. SR: It is a helluva reward, Dross.  The winner basically gets a 28 day push window.  It ain't a one shot at the strap -- it's all of February. Whomever is the ultimate Snow Brawl winner this Saturday Night will get to make whatever match for himself that he wants for the full month of February. Get that, morons?  That means if a guy wants title shots every week... he gets title shots.  A guy wants to wrack up four wins against Bloom or Gecko or Quigley... he can do that.  Want to build a feud?  Maybe hit the same guy each week?  Back and forth and forth and back... the winner of this thing can do that. I'll tell you it's wrong, Dross.  It's wrong and I'm not gonna stand for it! TD: No, you don't care, Steve Roberts. SR: Yeah, you're right.  The IIWF wants to turn over the keys to a guy like Icehawk... all I can do is mock their obvious stupidity.  When's some of the stupidity in that front office gonna get crapcanned outta here, Dross? TD: I don't know if that's a road down which we necessarily have to drive, Steve Roberts... But what we do have to talk about are these Snow Brawl matchups. Not only is the prize, that the winner may challenge whomever he wants in the month of February, enormous... but the special rules of these matches make them very interesting. These matches start as traditional six-man tags... SR: You know, I was co-holder of the Texas six-man championship belts twice, Dross.  TD: Really, Steve Roberts -- who were your partners? SR: The Von Erichs.  I was the emergency sub whenever one of them died. Sorta like a guest host on the old "Tonight Show".  You know, whenever Johnny took a day off, they'd bring say, a David Brenner in.  Same kinda deal. TD: The winners of the tag match will then, in a continuous sequence, turn on each other in a three way dance, with the last man standing moving on to the big Snow Brawl Survivors Match later in the card... the winner of that match is your King of the Snow Brawl...and receives that big, big prize. SR: See, here's what's good about this, Dross... you have to turn on your partners. Yeah, sure... they're your teammates and all -- but the second you get that win, they're looking to rip your lips off -- and you're trying to do the same to theirs.  That's a cool ass match, Dross.  Maybe the guys in the front office aren't so bad after all. TD: What is it with you and torn lips tonight, Steve Roberts? SR: What is it with Larry Morton and those Chuck Norris pictures? Haven't you ever heard the saying, "live and let live"?  What are you, Dross, some kind of fascist?  Are you the thought police?  Some kind of stormtrooping, brownshirted, jackbooting thug?  Hate Crime!  Hate Crime! Can't you let me and Larry and our lesbian sisters just live our lives in peace?  So, I like to rip off people's lips... does that make me a bad person?  If I rip off your lips, will you not bleed?  I am not an animal, Dross... I am gonna be a man in motion -- all I need is a pair of wings.  TD: ...also intriguing are the great matchups for these six man tags. Start with the two members of Cold Spell positioned against each other in that first match.  The remarkable aerialist Icehawk, a man who I believe will one day be holding the gold that currently adorns the waist of young Ronnie Paris, will team up with another promising young cruiserweight, Moxy Blue... and the returning Ike Sampson... SR: Good to see Blue picked up another bodyguard from the scrap pile, Dross.  Gotta like a man who only goes by one name... it's a sign of good breeding. TD: Will you stop? SR: Sooner than you think, Dross. TD: And they will meet the three men who have been fighting in some combination or another for several weeks... Shadoe Rage, Edmund Fitzgerald and Harlequin Tragedy. SR: Ain't no one gonna get along here.  Big Stone chokeslammed that Icehawk into the middle of next week last Wednesday... and these other guys have been fighting as part of tag teams for years.  This thing between Rage, Tragedy and Fitzsimmons didn't start last week... it's been brewing forever.  They've all been IIWF tag champs -- and all of them think they're gonna make this leap to the singles ranks.  It ain't that easy, Dross.  Maybe one guy will make it -- and the other two will slink back to the minor leagues. TD: We will see the legendary Lord Byron, along with the Meatman and Charles Scheffield meet a man who has seemingly had his number over the past several weeks, Luke Steele -- and he will be accompanied by Christopher Stonebreaker... and the awesome Deathbringer. SR: How many Floating DDT's does "Cop A Feel" have to hit before His Has Been-ship gets the 411?  This ain't the Lord Byron who ran over the IIWF six months ago, Dross.  He's yesterday.  What they oughta do is let him and his water boy Scheffield play Yahtzee on the apron while the man with the Meat gets it done inside.  "Meat... Meat... Meat... Meat!"  I love that guy, Dross.  He sent me sausage shaped like Dave Bacon for Christmas.  TD: Interesting composition of both of those teams, three newcomers and three long-time IIWF veterans in that match.  Will it be the Deathbringer who returns to prominence?  A Luke Steele who takes that final step into Main Event status?  A Lord Byron who regains the form that he left behind all those months ago?  Or will it be one of those newcomers... will it be Scheffield... Stonebreaker... could it possibly be the Meatman who will come out of Snow Brawl with that enormous windfall? SR: Then there's that last match, Dross.  And that poor, misunderstood Mota. TD: I don't think anyone misunderstands Derek Mota... he turned his back on his friends -- and helped cost the Cruiserweight Champion, Tim Turner, his title last week.  When Mota teams up with TNT and the new Intercontinental Champion, Duncan Macbeth... well, who knows what might happen? SR: Aw, Derek's just makin' his way the only way he know how, Dross. And if that's just a little bit more than the law will allow, what's a boy to do?  You want to talk about teammates who can't get along... what about Annis and Watkins?  What about Annis and Watkins, now those two guys had a good ol' fashioned double ass whup last Saturday Night... are these guys gonna cheer for each other?  Is Serge Annis gonna slap the Old Dog a little skin and hop on into the ring?  TD: The animosity will run thick, Steve Roberts. It might make one Rick Williams have a very interesting evening surrounded by men who all have personal issues to settle.  SR: Make the pick, Dross.  Make the pick.  Eighteen guys start out with those three six-man matches... they cut to nine and then to three.  Who's it gonna be, big man?  Who is coming outta there with the big push push? TD: I am not one to make predictions, of course.  But to my eyes, you always take the best wrestler -- and in the IIWF, the best wrestlers are the ones wearing the gold.  I would have to lean to Duncan Macbeth, the Intercontinental Champion. SR: Nope. TD: Pardon? SR: Nope. TD: And why would that be? SR: Two reasons.  Dross.  Two real important reasons. TD: Care to elaborate? SR: Nope.  TD: Three big Snow Brawl Matches featuring some of the greatest wrestlers in the world in one of the most unique match setups in IIWF history... with the prize being a twenty-eight day window of "Superstar Making" opportunity the likes of which men work their entire lives for! It is Snow Brawl.  It is this Saturday Night.  And it is only available on... Pay-Per-View! SR: Don't forget the tags, Dross.  Don't forget the tags! TD: I don't think it's remotely possible to overlook the great, great tag action which we have in the IIWF, Steve Roberts.  The Tag Champions, the Lost Boyz, will defend the belts which they have held with such honor once again versus the team which comes out of that big battle royal! SR: Good win for the W & W Express against the octagenarians last Saturday, Dross. TD: I'm not going to translate that. SR: 'Cause yer yella, Dross.  It's cuz yer yella. TD: The Lost Boyz indeed remain IIWF Tag Champions and they have to be of two minds about the format at the big Snow Brawl.  Yes, they do have the advantage of facing a team which has outlasted eleven others to win that big battle royal -- so they will be far fresher than their opponents... but on the other hand, how will Porteaux and Ramos possibly prepare?  They go into this match with no idea whatsoever which team they will meet.  It could be a team that they have met before like the Prophets of Rage... or a thorough wildcard like Joe Petrow and Team Sychosys. SR: Can you imagine that, Dross?  If Crazy Joe Petrow were to win this Battle Royal?  Joe Petrow winning the IIWF Tag Team Championships and then squashing Chris Quigley, getting him to tap like he were Gregory Hines on speed... [Applause from the crew, many of whom had been scowling at Roberts since the gratuitous reference to the passing of the Congressman.] SR: ...thank you.  I love it when the Teamsters appreciate me.  I'm gettin' a "Bono," Dross. [Audible groans are then heard... a cruller comes flying into the shot.] TD: I think that's a vein you'd best not tap, Steve Roberts.  In my experience, when the crew starts firing pastry, you're probably one step over the line. SR: I's jus' havin' fun.  Can't I have a little fun anymore?  TD: What's always fun is a battle royal, Steve Roberts.  What about the Down Boys and the Natural Predators?  Here are two teams who have doggedly pursued the Tag Team Champions.  The Down Boys even unofficially changing their names to Damage Inc., in an attempt to unnerve the World Champions... but as we saw last Wednesday Night, it is the Lost Boyz who remain one step ahead of the situation, leaving a very identifiable calling card on the backs of three of their biggest rivals. SR: Lot of vets in this thing Dross, Harlequins, High Planes Drifters, the Psycho and Starks... even the Rotundos and the Barnacle Brothers are gonna get a shot at some ass whup by the Down Boyz... Lost Riders On A Storm... I Like To Go Swimmin' With Bowlegged Women... TD: And some teams in chaos, Steve Roberts.  Licensed for Devastation appears to have broken up... and there is tremendous tumult regarding the two teams that we will see in the Free For All.  This situation with the Machines and the Fabulous Ones is desperately confusing. SR: Yeah, it's keepin' me up at night, Dross. TD: We have seen Paul Wong virtually look bewildered at times over the past several weeks, enrapt by the beautiful Ms. Miki... SR: You see those pictures, Dross?  She ain't "wrapped" by a whole lot in them pictures, let me tell ya'! TD: I don't think anyone is certain what sort of teamwork we will see from Wong and O'Neal when they hook up with the Fabulous Ones.  What we do know is that it will be a highly pitched, spirited contest that will get Snow Brawl started with a bang! It is tremendous IIWF tag action... and it can only be seen this Saturday Night on Pay-Per-View! ________ ______ | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|.................................................. | || | \ v v / | __| COMING FRIDAY: |_||_| \_/\_/ |_| Countdown to Snow Brawl ....................................................................... TD: Folks, that will do it from Aloha Stadium and our big "Inside Snow Brawl" edition.  Join Larry and Vicki on Friday as they "Countdown to Snow Brawl" and then do not forget... folks... call your cable company today -- don't get shut out of what is the official kick-off to the professional wrestling year... live, from Honolulu, Hawaii... the IIWF presents Snow Brawl! SR: Don't get screwed by popping down your money just because you see some backwoods company running off our fumes -- if it ain't the IIWF, it's just make believe, Dross. TD: I see a new t-shirt in the making, Steve Roberts. SR: And I see my record sales dropping even further if you don't roll that tape! TD: All right, without further ado... the album is "Sing, Soundbite! Sing!" It contains covers of such songs as... "Sometimes When We Touch"... "Islands In The Stream"... "Sugar Walls" and the theme from the "Facts of Life". SR: And don't forget my two original tracks, Dross, my country song, "You Don't Need Trigonometry To Have A Threesome"... and my thirty-one minute jazz riff, "Ruminations in The Key of Me"... Rolling Stone said it was "like Thelonious Monk came back to life and was a wrestling announcer playing the saxophone." TD: And the video we're about to see? SR: This would be "I Wanna Know What Love Is", originally recorded by Foreigner. TD: Okay, folks, that's gonna do it for this week, we will see you back in two weeks for an all-new edition of "Inside the IIWF"... and as we leave... let's take a look at the musical debut video of our own... Steve "Soundbite" Roberts! [Open on a shot of the "Soundbite", he is wearing blue jeans and an unzipped leather jacket which reveals his shirtless, overly bronzed torso.  He is standing on a lonely sidewalk, only an overhead streetlight for illumination.  As Roberts raises his head to stare off into the distance, he has a soulful, almost passionate expression on his face... and then begins to lip-synch:] # I gotta take a little time / a little time to think things over... I better read between the lines / in case I need it when I'm older... [Cut to a clip of Roberts' active wrestling career... he is ducking though the ropes and tapping his forefinger to his head as a Samoan opponent looks on in frustration.] Now this mountain I must climb / feels like the world upon my shoulders... [Cut to a shot of Roberts in an outdoor wrestling ring, shirtless he wistfully stares up into the sky as an apparition appears; it is of a collection of people... elderly women... black and Hispanic men... children... someone in a wheelchair... a midget...] Through the clouds I see love shine / it keeps me warm as life grows colder... [Cut to a recording studio, Roberts is wearing very tight blue jeans, a flannel shirt and headphones... and is pouring himself into the song, wrenching away at the mic.:] In my life / there's been heartache and pain I don't know if I can face it again Can't stop now / I've traveled so far [Roberts stares directly into the camera] To change this lone-ly li-fe... [Back to the shot of the clouds... now it is the collection of people in the sky who sing as the chorus begins...] I want to know what love is.... I want you to show me... I want to feel what love is... I know you can show me... [Back to Roberts on the street... he is now walking his way through a faceless mass of people... Roberts moving faster and faster against the current of traffic:] I'm gonna take a little time / a little time to look around me... I've got nowhere left to hide / looks like love has finally found me... [Back to the recording studio, Roberts is "singing" with such force, such emotion that tears are evident in his eyes as he slowly sinks to his knees.] In_my_life / there's been heartache and pain I don't know if I can face it again Can't stop now / I've traveled so far To change this lonely life... [Cut to the clouds... the collection of people now descend an invisible staircase as they sing... eventually reaching a beatific grassy hill, where they join hands in a circle, dancing around as they continue singing...] I want to know what love is... I want you to show me. I want to feel what love is... I want you to show me.. [Roberts now appears in the middle of the circle, a soft rain begins to fall as the Soundbite's arms are stretched wide... he and his "chorus" then split duties as the music continues:] Let's talk about love (I want to know what love is) The love that you feel inside (I want you to show me) And I'm feeling so much love (I want to feel what love is) No you just can't hide (I know you can show me) [The circle then begins to close in on Roberts, the warmth, the humanity... the love of the divserse peoples for their Soundbite is virtually pouring through the screen.] (I want to know what love is) Let's talk about love I know you can show me (I wanna feel it too) I wanna feel what love is... [As the circle finally reaches Roberts, the Soundbite pulls from the ground... a steel chair... wielding it over his head and as the music continues unabated... The Soundbite begins to whack the oncoming people... the elderly women... the black and Hispanic men... the children... the midgets... Roberts begins to waffle each of them over the head with the steel chair...] I wanna feel it too (The love that you feel inside) I wanna know what love is And I know, and I know, I know you can show me... Show me love is real, yeah, I wanna know what love is... # [The shot and the music fade... Roberts still swinging the chair... the elderly woman now clearly bleeding from the forehead as the shot goes to black.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Jim Jividen | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | brokeback@webtv.net | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+