________ ______ __ ____ ___ __ . _ ___ | || |\ \ /\ / /| __| / /\ | | || \| \ /\ \ / |\ || / \| | | | || | \ v v / | __| \__ /__\ | | ||__/| |/__\ v | \||| __|-| | |_||_| \_/\_/ |_| \ \| v | \|__/ \| | || \_|| | | __________________________/...hour two...\........|...|.......|....| LIVE! West Palm Beach Auditorium, West Palm Beach, Florida 14 February 1998 [The graphics fade through to interior shots of the jam-packed West Palm Beach Auditorium, the sea of fans cheering and waving their signs as a volley of fireworks erupts in the rafters high above the ring. The shot eventually cuts to Tim Dross, who stands in the ring, microphone in hand, preparing to introduce his interviewee.] TD: Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the man who has been dubbed "the most arrogant man in wrestling"... "To Excess" Rick Williams! [As Radiohead's "Creep" begins to play, the crowd erupt with a loud heel pop. Following several seconds of increasing hostility, Rick Williams steps into the arena to greet his reception, which for the most part, is hugely negative. Dressed in blue jeans, Williams sports a T-shirt, which he appears keen to display to the camera.  On the front, it reads... "I shot J.R...." and as he turns around, he reveals what's written on the back... "And I KILLED Billy Shakespeare". Stepping onto the ring apron, Williams spits a stick of gum deep into the crowd.  Pausing momentarily to see its effect, he enters the ring, where Tim Dross awaits.] TD: Rick Williams, you haven't been seen in the IIWF a great deal since Snow Brawl, so I guess now, the first question I have to ask is... "Why"?  Why did you choose to blind Billy Shakespeare, an IIWF legend, a man who will go down in history as a true great in this sport.  Why did you attempt to destroy this man's career, and if Wednesday night is anything to go by, you've been very successful, but that question remains... _Why_? RW: "Why"?  "_Why_"?  Well, it's real simple.  Because I'm a man. I'm no god, Dross... I have flaws like everyone else. [Dross appears slightly confused with the answer, but proceeds nonetheless.] TD: So, you're saying that you regret what you did... You regret what happened at Snow Brawl? RW: Je ne regrette rien, Dross... Je ne regrette rien. I did what I did for a reason, a damn _good_ reason -- Jealousy. I did it because I was jealous. [The crowd suddenly becomes noticeably quieter, as the jeering disappears.] How could I _not_ do it, Dross?  How could I stand by and watch two guys wrestle in a hugely-hyped match on one of the biggest cards of the year, despite the fact that neither were fit to lace my boots... despite the fact that both are mere shadows of themselves in their prime?  How could I let Billy Shakespeare live off his reputation one more time when he was occupying _my_ spotlight? I wanted that spotlight, Dross, because I deserved it.  Was I supposed to smile and say "thanks" when I was pawned off by the suits and told to team with a couple of saps, who think they're headline material now that Hardin and co. aren't here anymore? [Taking the microphone from Dross' hand, Williams pushes his hair from his face before he continues.] RW: You know, Dross, like Martin all those years ago, I have a dream. It's a recurring dream actually. It's a dream, where the IIWF _is_ what it's supposed to be -- the best federation on the planet, bar none... where only the best players in the game are allowed to play.  When you're washed up, and when you've had your fifteen minutes, you bow out, admitting that your time has come... that there are younger and better guys out there to carry on.  Athletes are running faster all the time, Dross... The same progression's gotta exist in wrestling... but it _doesn't_... because people like Blindfold Billy hang around too long. It's also a dream where I don't have to worry, night after night... Worry that I'm gonna be appearing on the free-for-all of the next twenty pay-per-views because good ol' Dan thinks that the buyrate's gonna be higher because the mainstream audience would prefer to see 1989's PWI Wrestler of the Year than the best wrestler in the world in 1998. I'm gonna make that dream come true, Dross... you see if I don't. TD: And what now for Rick Williams?  Will you pursue Billy Shakespeare, a man who can't defend himself because of the flashgun incident?  Or will you turn your attention towards his best friend, Marty Warnett? RW: Who says he can't defend himself, Dross?  As a matter of fact, I heard he was wrestling in Fort Lauderdale only three nights ago.  Why would a man who can't defend himself set foot in an IIWF ring?  He'd have to be crazy, and Billy's a lot of things, but insane isn't one of 'em. If Billy is an IIWF competitor, he's fair game... as capable of defending himself as anyone.  At Snow Brawl, I killed the spirit of Billy Shakespeare... next time we meet, I'll finish the job. And as for Warnett... well, it seems that Marty has had a sudden loss of valour.  He doesn't want to defend the honour of his best friend... He wants titles.  Ain't that just grand?  Has cowardice ever been better represented than by the Welsh Rarebit? So, to answer your question, Dross, I don't know what the future holds for _me_... but I know that when I'm through, the IIWF will be a much better place... a "theatre of dreams," even. [The strains of Radiohead's "Creep" again begin to play over the loudspeakers as Dross returns to the announcers' desk, while Williams slowly exits to a hugely mixed reaction. Cut to the broadcast table at ringside, where Tim Dross is replacing his headset.] TD: Welcome back to IIWF Saturday Night, folks! Some controversial comments from Rick Williams to kick off our second hour -- and I can reveal that the front office staff are currently drawing up the contracts: right here next week, live from Puerto Rico, Rick Williams will meet Billy Shakespeare one on one in the squared circle! That's bound to be a huge match, live next week on IIWF Saturday Night! SR: Sheesh, Dross, anybody would think you were trying to boost a PPV buyrate or something. TD: No other wrestling organisation brings you the action that the IIWF can each and every week on free television, folks... and tonight's second hour is a case in point. Our main event features all three of the IIWF's singles champions in action against the "King of Snow Brawl", "Savage" Shadoe Rage, in what is being billed as the Valentine's Day Massacre! SR: No love, no learnin', baby dolls. TD: We also have IIWF World Tag Team Championship action as the Natural Predators defend against the Fabulous Ones, plus Ike Sampson battling "The Intrepid" Ryan Howard. But kicking off our second hour is a long-awaited match between the two Steeles of the IIWF -- the "Real Deal" and the "Meatman" square off to settle a score that began at Snow Brawl. Let's get up to the ring. ________ ______ | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|.................................................. | || | \ v v / | __| "Real Deal" Luke Steele vs. |_||_| \_/\_/ |_| Jimmy "the Meatman" Steele ....................................................................... WRITER: Paul Hewson [Sparkplug Lee takes his place in the centre of the ring:] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first, hailing from Cleveland, Ohio, and weighing in at 275lbs, here is... the "Real Deal" Luke Steele! ["I Am the Man" by the Philosopher Kings wafts over the P.A. system as the "Real Deal" Luke Steele emerges through the curtain and makes his way toward ringside. He's got all the markings of a classic old-school wrestler... except for the fact that he's carrying a frozen turkey on his shoulder. The fans, Meat lovers all, respond with a resounding chorus of boos.] TD: Well, looks like Luke Steele has a little something for the Meatman tonight, Steve. SR: Either that, or he's just made the All-Madden Team. TD: Last week, we saw Steele score a countout victory over Tony Starks, but we also saw the presence of Christopher Stonebreaker. Steele is going to have to keep his eyes peeled tonight. SR: Speaking of tight ends, Dross, have you been watching the women's curling? TD: I haven't had time to catch it, Steve, but I'm told that the Canada vs. Great Britain semi-final went down to the wire... SR: No, Dross, you moron, I'm talking TIGHT ENDS here. That Japanese team has some sweet talent on it... TD: Uh-oh.... SR: When I get them over to my pagoda, you know what they'll be screaming, Dross... TD: Don't go there... SR: HURRY!! HURRY HARD!! HARDER!! TD: Please, Steve Roberts. SR: Then again, Ms. Miki can handle my broom any day. TD: Let's get back to ringside... quickly! SL: And his opponent, from Emeryville, California... weighing in at 274lbs... Jimmy... "The MEEEEEEEATmaaaan STEEEEEEE-uhllllll!!!!!" [The Meatman appears at the curtain to a gigantic face pop. There is no meat truck tonight, Steele just stands in front of the curtain. He gestures to the sky, like a supplicant calling his lord, and a stream of blood falls from the ceiling and drenches the carnivorous one from head to toe. The fans go nuts.] SR: Holy smoke, Dross, that guy is one fudged-up little cracker. TD: You said it, Steve Roberts. I don't think the Jehovah's Witnesses will be sponsoring the IIWF once they buy this arena. But look at the reaction of these seven thousand plus fans! [The fans are berserk. They're throwing slices of baloney all over the place like little frisbees. Signs can be seen in the crowd such as "Meat 3:16", "You Can't Beat the Meat" and "It's Salisbury Steak Day!"] TD: Never has the Meatman been so popular, after last week's title match against Kowalski! SR: No question, Dross, this guy is definitely more burger than bun. [Meatman, drenched in blood, slides into the ring, leaving a nasty red streak on the canvas behind him. As he gets up, Luke Steele offers him the turkey in an apparent gesture of good faith. Meatman, curious, extends his arms and takes the turkey in both hands, almost caressing it like a newborn child. Luke Steele, believing he has tamed his enemy, truns to the crowd, raises his arms in the air, and... WHAMMO!!!] TD: MEATHOOK! MEATHOOK! The Meatman just nailed Luke Steele upside the head with the turkey! SR: Hell, that Butterball crap is bad enough when you take it _internally_... [The Meatman is now all over Luke Steele, pummeling him with punches. An Irish whip leads to a butt bump, and another Irish whip sends "The Real Deal" into a Meatman bearhug. The blood on Meatman makes him a bit slippery, though, and he can't keep the heavy Luke Steele in the air, so the bearhug loses a bit of its sting with both men's feet on the canvas.] TD: Bearhug for the Meatman, and the crowd goes wild once again! We could have a quick submission victory here! SR: But not as quickly as Surya Bonaly submitted to me last night. Whoa, momma... TD: Can't you keep your mind on the match? SR: ...she gives the term "flying sit-spin" a whole new meaning. TD: Can we get some salt peter down here for Mr. Roberts, please? [Luke Steele slips down out of the bearhug and crotches the Meatman.] SR: Ouch... right in the medallions. TD: You can hear the collective groan from this Florida crowd, as Luke Steele caught the Meatman in one of his few vulnerable spots. SR: Scrotum... a delicacy in some countries... [Luke Steele bounces off the ropes and delivers a hammer blow to the Meatman's back. A series of chops and kicks ensues, as Luke Steele measures his foe, trying to maintain the upper hand without getting caught off guard.] TD: And "The Real Deal" is really laying into the Meatman now. There is nobody in the IIWF that he hates more right now. [The fans boo lustily as Steele continues to work over his namesake. Luke faces the crowd, and yells "SHUT UP!", which, of course, only makes the crowd boo louder!] SR: You can't reason with a bunch of college students, Dross. These people make "Animal House" look like "The Dead Poets Society". TD: Still bitter over that incident at the sorority house, Soundbite? SR: YOU SHUT YER TRAP, DROSS! No one needs to know about that. TD: Look out! Here comes Stonebreaker! [Christopher Stonebreaker makes his way to ringside to a big pop, sledgehammer in hand.] TD: Stonebreaker came out last week and almost cost "The Real Deal" a victory -- what's going to happen here? [Luke Steele loses his focus and makes his way over to the corner where Stonebreaker stands, silent, tossing his sledgehammer from one hand to the other.] CS: Not overlooking me now, are you, Steele? [Steele points at him, threateningly, then turns back to the Meatman, only to receive...] TD: MEATHOOK! Meatman just caught Luke Steele with a massive roundhouse punch! But wait! Luke Steele is caught up in the ropes! CS: [to camera] Looks like he forgot about someone else, though. [Indeed, Luke Steele is now tied up in the top two ropes, and the Meatman takes advantage with a series of rib strikes, and then...] TD: The Spitfire Grill!! The Meatman has Luke Steele going around in circles like a rotisserie, right in front of Stonebreaker! [The crowd goes insane, chanting "MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!" But Steele, in desperation, reaches out and pokes the Meatman in the eye.] SR: Hah hah! Nothing like a solid, Greco-Roman thumb to the eye to change things. TD: Stonebreaker is leaving?! What's going on? [Christopher Stonebreaker, seemingly satisfied that he's caused Luke Steele's demise, is halfway up the aisle. He turns to check for a pinfall, only to see that Meatman is down and Luke Steele has freed himself from the ropes. Steele steps over the top rope and glares at Stonebreaker from the ring apron, but the Meatman gets up and clocks him from behind. Groggy, Steele turns around, Meatman swings, and...] TD: FLOATING DDT! Steele blocked the Meatman's punch and came over the ropes with a beautiful floating DDT! Now they're both out! SR: Steele had better cover the Meatman fast, or he might not get another chance... [Luke Steele crawls his way over to Meatman's prone carcass, and the referee counts.] TD: One... Two... THREE! It's over! SR: No it's not, you dolt! Whay do announcers always do that? TD: Well, it was pretty close... the ref's hand couldn't have been closer to the mat for the three count, but Meatman just got his shoulder up in time! [Giant crowd pop as the Meatman rises, slowly, and exchanges blows with Steele, eventually gaining the upper hand and Irish whipping "The Real Deal" into the turnbuckle.] SR: I know what this is. Meat's settin' him up for the "Smothered in Onions"! TD: This one could be over in a hurry! He's going to finish it! [The crowd pops wildly as Meatman tries to set Luke Steele up, but Steele responds with a kneelift.] TD: Smart counter-move by Steele, but can he take advantage? [Steele hops up to the second turnbuckle, measures his opponent, and...] TD: Meatman is up! He nails Steele in the gut! Look out! [The crowd continue to chant "Meat! Meat! Meat!" as Meatman launches himself into the air, and then comes crashing down on Luke Steele with a crotchdrop. Big pop!] TD: SMOTHERED IN ONIONS! [Insane face pop!] TD: Here's the cover! One!... Two!... [The official's hand slaps the mat for a third time! Ding! Ding! Ding!] SR: Now _that's_ a three count, Dross! SL: Your winner, by pinfall... Jimmy... MEEEEEEEAAATMAAAANNN... STEEEEEEE-uhllllll! [The crowd goes ballistic and tosses more baloney slices in the air as a thundering "MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!" echoes throughout the arena. A smile creeps across Stonebreaker's face as he finally makes his way back up the aisle. The Meatman's arm is raised in victory, and Luke Steele, still bent over in pain, tries his best to run up the aisle in pursuit of Stonebreaker. Cut back to the broadcast table at ringside, as Meatman poses for the crowd before heading back up to the locker room.] TD: What a match, folks -- and there's more tremendous action coming up between now and the end of the show. [Suddenly, the crowd murmurs as a figure appears in the aisle.] SR: Aw, damn it. Here we go, one more time. [Paul Wong makes his way down the aisle and enters the ring.  This time, he's got a cordless microphone with him.  He's still clutching the fedora hat in his hands as he speaks.] PW: Just... let me get through this.  Now I screwed up big time.  I stabbed my friend and partner in the back at Snow Brawl.  Simon... I'm sorry.  I know that doesn't mean anything, but... I let the Fabulous Ones attack you, and I didn't help out.  I thought... I thought I was in love. SR: [over headset] Love.  Now if _that_ isn't a four letter word, I don't know what is. PW: Well, last week they jumped me.  I suppose you knew it would happen.  I deserved it.  And I... I know you probably wouldn't trust me with a ten-foot pole.  I know I wouldn't.  But I think... I think... [Paul pauses, and looks ready to bolt again.  But finally.] PW: I think we should re-form the Machines. SR: [over headset] Boy, this guy's really messed up.  He stabs someone in the back, and then expects him to be buddy-buddy again a few weeks later!  TD: [over headset] Paul Wong looking around, I guess for his former tag team partner.  I don't even think Simon O'Neal is here this week. SR: [over headset] O'Neal always was the smart one.  I never understood why he put up with this pathetic loser. [Paul looks around, then shakes his head.  He throws down the microphone, and walks out of the ring, heading back up the aisle with his head hung low. Cut back to the broadcast table at ringside.] TD: Well, that's just sad, folks. We'll be right back with more action after these short messages. [The shot fades, and hard rock music plays as a IIWF Legal Counsel Brenda Hawkings is shown shouting at someone off screen.] BH: Are you insane? We can't show that on TV! VO: [over footage of a wild Mad Dog Watkins-Serge Annis brawl] That's right, Brenda, we can't! So we've put it all on this exclusive video cassette made only for fans of the world's hottest wrestling organization! [The cassette spins and halts over fight footage] It's... "IIWF: Too Hot for TV!" Catch all of the action you WON'T see on Saturday Night or in the War Room! [Shot of Lord Byron and Brody Thunder standing over a naked, spread eagled Sparkplug Lee, clutching a bottle of Wild Turkey... concealed by the IIWF logo.] BT: Aww, geez... LB: Medic! VO: It's the rudest... [Shot of Shadoe Rage flipping the bird to the crowd... again obscured by the logo.] VO: ...the rawest... [Shot of Becky LaRue pulling down her neckline and shaking for the camera... hidden by a larger IIWF logo!] VO: ...and roughest IIWF action anywhere! [Shot of Steve Kowalski attacking a Saudi talk show host.] VO: Check out UNCENSORED studio outtakes! SR: [with Tim Dross in the studio] Holy [bleep]ing [bleep]! VO: Wild fights you can't even see on Pay-Per-View! [Footage of a very bloody Subway Psycho picking up a crowbar at ringside.] VO: And the nightlife of IIWF personalities! [A male stripper is shown having his G-string filled with $20 notes by Brenda Hawkings.] BH: Woo! Shake it, hot buns! [Shot of Larry Morton on the receiving end of a lap dance from female stripper.] VO: This tape contains material intended for mature audiences. It features nudity, extreme violence, profane language, alcohol abuse and anti-social behavior. [Shot of Harlequins backstage, with Chaos holds a tape box.] HT: Hey, cousin! can I borrow your "IIWF, Too Hot for TV" tape? HC: No, my cousin... you've got to get your own! HM: Here's how to order! [Shot of box and, in background, Joe Petrow reading what appears to be an adult magazine:] VO: [very quickly, in best advert fashion] To order, call 1-888-555-IIWF, or Mail check, money order or World Cup Final Tickets to: Badger Productions, P.O. Box 1232, Idabel, OK, 74745. Canadian Orders please use US funds. UK Orders may COD. Proceeds will go to the Simon Bratt Scholarship Fund. [The shot fades to black. Cut back to Tim Dross and Steve Roberts at ringside.] TD: Okay, folks, we're back with more IIWF Saturday Night action. Our next match sees the poster boy of the new "Wrestle Clean!" campaign, Ike Sampson, do battle with "The Intrepid" Ryan Howard, a man who has seen more than his fair share of trouble since his return to the IIWF just a few short weeks ago. He's raised the ire of Timothy N. Turner and Duncan Macbeth, and was jumped backstage last week by Derek Mota -- will his luck improve tonight against Sampson, who is looking bigger and better than ever at the moment? Let's go up to the ring and find out! ________ ______ | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|.................................................. | || | \ v v / | __| Ike Sampson vs. "The Intrepid" Ryan Howard |_||_| \_/\_/ |_|.................................................... WRITER: Joel Verlin [Cut to the ring. Sparkplug Lee stands, as ready as ever, to gives his introductions. He checks his "Wrestle Clean!" lapel pin and finds that it is upside down. Sparkplug Lee frowns and tries to adjust it, as the crowd watches on with amusement. Finally, after a fan shouts an expletive, Lee realises that the show must go on, and gets down to business:] SL: The following contest is scheduled for one fall. Introducing first from North Carolina, weighing in at 304lbs, here is... Ike Sampson! ["Kiss" by Price plays over the PA as Ike Sampson, in his usual ring attire of singlet-style trunks without the top comes out to a big face pop from the throngs of IIWF fans in attendance. He stops periodically down the aisle to sign posters, ruffle the hair of young children, or slap hands with the fans.] TD: Ike Sampson seems to be enjoying his role as the figure-head of the "Wrestle Clean!" campaign, Steve Roberts. SR: Aw, who cares, Dross? Let the suits give Sampson his bonuses for kissing babies. TD: I don't believe baby kissing is on the public engagement schedule for many IIWF superstars, Steve. SR: Would _you_ want to be kissed by the "Ugly Guy" Damien Lestat, Dross? [Ike hops into the ring, and his demeanour instantly changes. The huge black man puts his hands on his hips, highlighting the superb definition of his abs and pecs, and gazes back at the wrestler's entrance from which he came with a look of total concentration and determination.] TD: And Ike Sampson looking for the man everyone seems to hate recently, Ryan Howard! His gaze is piercing right through the curtain itself, Steve Roberts! SR: Must you be so melodramatic, Dross? TD: A multi-syllable word from Steve Roberts! I'm in awe! SR: Stuff it and your stupid "Wrestle Clean!" pin, Dross. You AND Sparkplug look like real dorks wearing them. [Sparkplug is ready for the next introduction...] SL: And his opponent... hailing from Detroit, Michigan... weighing in at 255lbs... here is "The Intrepid" Ryan Howard! SR: Hear that, Dross? What a weight disadvantage Howard has! Howard at 255 and Sampson at 305! That's a forty pound advantage for Sampson! TD: Indeed. SR: As one of my colleagues once said, a little big man can't be beaten by a big fast man or a little fast man can beat a big slow man or that a small man can't be... TD: What on earth are you talking about? SR: Oh, hell, Dross. You made me lose my place... now let's see. Hey... where's Howard, anyway? [There is no sign of "The Intrepid" Ryan Howard, and eventually his theme music -- "Don't Tread On Me" by Metallica -- fades from the PA. The fans start getting restless, and even Sampson gazes yet again waiting for his foe.] TD: Hang on, folks. I'm told there's some kind of disturbance backstage! [On the IIWF Jumbotron the scene shifts to the corridor leading to the arena, showing Intercontinental Champion Duncan Macbeth attacking "The Intrepid" Ryan Howard! Howard, apparently completely caught unawares as he made his way to the entrance curtain, is being brutalized by Macbeth!] TD: Unbelievable! Two weeks running, Ryan Howard is attacked backstage! We need help back there! SR: Looks like Howard needs to get some protection, Dross. TD: Last week, it was Derek Mota who attacked Ryan Howard -- and this week, it's Duncan Macbeth! [Suddenly, Macbeth performs a piledriver on the now hapless Howard... and Macbeth hits Howard with a metal trash can! Satisfied that his prey is incapacitated, Macbeth begins dragging Howard out the wrestler's entrance, and into the aisle. A spotlight hits Macbeth as he comes out, clutching a microphone in one hand, and dragging the barely struggling Howard with the other. Big pop!] DM: OY!  WEE DOG! [Sampson turns and glares as Duncan Macbeth appears in the wrestlers' entrance, unceremoniously dragging the semi-conscious Ryan Howard behind him by the collar of his black leather wrestling shirt as he strides down the aisle.  The Intercontinental Champion is grinning smugly from ear to ear, and continues to harangue Sampson as he approaches the ring.] DM: Here ye go, Sampson!  One victory, all gift-wrapped fer ye, jus' th'     way ye like it! [The crowd pops wildly, more for the appearance of Macbeth and his treatment of the despised Howard than for his words, but Macbeth pays the crowd no mind as he continues, Sampson growing more and more angry with every taunt of the champion.] DM: All ye have t' do is pin 'im, an' ye'll prove ye're th' better man!     Jus' like ye proved ye were worthy o' winnin' th' No Future Bowl,     wha'!  Wha' does it matter tha' I knocked 'im senseless fer ye?  Ye     didn't care tha' Mota knocked me senseless fer ye at Birthday Bash,     after _I_ pinned 'im clean!  Ye won fair an' square, didn't ye? [Macbeth reaches ringside, and pulls up Howard, who is bleeding from a cut over his forehead, and roughly shoves the senseless wrestler into the ring, rolling him right in front of Sampson.  Macbeth stares up at the Big Dog, eyes blazing with contempt, and gestures to the prone Howard.] DM: Sae prove ye're th' better man, tosser.  Take yuir victory righ'     now, jus' like ye did at th' Bash.  Then ye can brag t' th' whole     IIWF how Opie Howard's got _nothin'_ on ye.     An' ye can stop wastin' me precious time, wha'. [The Intercontinental Champion leaves, laughing, as the fans cheer his departure. Sampson looks to the official, Chuck Sanders, who bends over Howard, who murmurs something, shrugs, and signals for the bell: Ding! Ding! Ding! Sanders orders Sampson to wrestle Howard, so the North Carolinan bends over his groggy opponent.] SR: Aw, damn it, Dross. Don't let the boy scout win like this! TD: Could this match be over before it even begins? [But much to the surprise of Ike Sampson, "The Intrepid" Ryan Howard punches Ike Sampson! Once, knocking Sampson back, twice catching momentum and thrice, staggering the shocked Sampson! Ike Sampson charges at "The Intrepid" Ryan Howard in frustration, thinking he had an easy win, but misses and bounces into the ropes...] TD: "The Intrepid" Ryan Howard showing us that he is the Energizer Bunny of the IIWF, ladies and gentleman... he keeps going and going and going... SR: Much like your mouth, Dross! I thought you would have called him the Timex of the IIWF... TD: Huh? SR: Geez, Dross, that stupid lapel pin must've pierced a blood vessel and caused you to lose some of the blood that's meant for your brain! Timex! Takes a licking but keeps on ticking! TD: Perhaps you've one upped me tonight, Steve Roberts! SR: That's why I _am_ The Soundbite, Dross. Hey, check out Howard. [Howard stops Sampson dead in his tracks with an inverted Russian leg sweep, causing the big man to hit the mat hard, face first! Howard doesn't waste any time, and executes a snap mare! Howard grabs Sampson's wrist... and then stomps on his hand! Sampson howls in pain.] TD: So much for the weight advantage thus far as "The Intrepid" Ryan Howard has taken away the size factor in this contest... intelligence is one of Howard's strengths even if people skills aren't. SR: I always hear that term, "people skills" -- you wanna tell the morons what it means, Unca' Dross? TD: Steve, you are like 7-UP and caffeine when it comes to people skills. SR: How so? TD: Never had it, never will. SR: Yeah, whatever. [Howard watches Ike Sampson as he gets up then knees the Big Dog in the gut. Sampson is doubled over, and is then staggered backwards by another punch to the breadbasket!] TD: That'll knock the wind out of you, Steve Roberts! Sampson is reeling here! [Howard drapes one of Sampson's arms over his shoulders, and then hoists him up in an impressive display of strength... before dropping him on his head! Huge pop!] TD: The Twelve Guage! Howard has Sampson tied up after that cradling brainbuster suplex, and... Sanders is making the count! [Chuck Sanders slides into position and slaps the mat: 1 -- 2 -- Sampson just manages to get a shoulder out! Big pop!] TD: A close call for Ike Sampson there, Steve Roberts! Ryan Howard is showing some truly impressive resurgence here! [Howard executes a swift legdrop on Sampson, halting his return to his feet, and then points skywards. The crowd, who are beginning to warm to Howard for his athletic ability if not his attitude, pop as he ducks out of the ring and springs up to the top turnbuckle.] TD: What's Howard doing -- oh my! [Howard launches himself with a somersault legdrop attempt, flashbulbs popping all over the arena as Howard flips through the air... but Sampson moves out of the way! Sampson rolls out of the way, and Howard crashes down on hard on the base of his spine! Huge sympathetic pop from the crowd!] TD: Oh my! That'll compress a few vertebrae for you, Steve Roberts! [Howard's face is contorted in pain as he lies on the mat, clutching at the small of his back. The fans, meanwhile, chant and stamp their feet, willing both men to get up. Sanders puts the count on the two athletes -- but Sampson rolls back to his knees by the count of three, and pulls himself to his feet!] TD: The tide may have just turned in this match, Steve Roberts -- and once Ike Sampson gets the advantage, with a forty pound weight advantage, and such prodigious upper body strength, it's going to be hard to take it from him. [Sampson scoops the stunned Howard off the mat and exacerbates the damage to his back with a bodyslam which makes the canvas shudder! Big pop! Dragging him straight back to his feet, Sampson hooks Howard's arm over his shoulder, hoists him up... and dumps him on the back of his neck with a brutal side suplex! Huge pop! The crowd are chanting "IKE! IKE! IKE!" as Sampson stands once more, and then motions with his hands for a press slam. Huge pop!] TD: Oh my! Sampson is on fire in there, and the fans love it! Sampson now, picking up Howard... and hoisting him up above his head! Incredible, Steve Roberts -- Sampson is pressing Ryan Howard like he weighs nothing at all! Six, seven -- eight reps, and then... oh my! [Sampson concludes pressing Howard above his head, and then twists, shifting his grip in mid-air, and jumps off the mat, _driving_ Howard down to the canvas with a modified powerslam! Massive pop!] TD: What incredible force behind that powerslam! SR: Not bad, Dross -- but Sampson's still just an over-sized boy scout. [Sampson stands once more, and runs his thumb across his throat. Huge pop! "IKE! IKE! IKE!" come the chants once more, as Sampson drags Howard to his feet, roughly shoves "The Intrepid's" head between his legs, hooks the arms, and... BAM!] TD: The Deep Freeze! Oh my! This one is _over_! [Sanders slides into position as Sampson hooks Howard's leg for the cover: 1 -- 2 -- 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, as the result of a pinfall, Ike Sampson! [Big pop from the fans as Sampson stands and allows Sanders to raise his arm in victory, the strains of "Kiss" once more pumping out over the PA.] TD: A valiant effort from Ryan Howard -- but Macbeth's attack took its toll. SR: So much for "Wrestle Clean!", Dross. I love it! TD: You would. Sampson celebrating in the ring as IIWF officials help "The Intrepid" Ryan Howard out of the ring... and he stirs. Sampson is singing autographs for some rather young female fans... SR: They're never too young, Dross. TD: I don't think that we need to go there, Steve Roberts. Howard is heading back to the locker room -- hang on, why is the Jumbotron coming on again? [The Jumbotron shows the same corridor behind the wrestlers' entrance. However, instead Duncan Macbeth standing there, this time it's "The Rocket Man" Timothy N. Turner -- holding a fire extinguisher, and apparently waiting for "The Intrepid" Ryan Howard...] TD: Oh my, someone should warn Howard! SR: Too late! [As Howard groggily pushes the curtains aside and heads into the backstage area, he is seen emerging onto the Jumbotron -- and Timothy N. Turner blasting "The Intrepid" Ryan Howard with the contents of the fire extinguisher, the hose spraying foam all over the area, but particularly into Howard's eyes! After "The Intrepid" Ryan Howard is blinded, Timothy N. Turner slams the extinguisher over Howard's head! *CLANG!* Howard somehow manages to get up, and even though he's blinded... executes the Ragnarok suplex on Turner! Macbeth is once again quickly on the scene, but so too are the Jobber Justice Squad, who move fast to separate the warring factions! Suited officials run into the area, one of them forcing the camera man to shut off the camera. The Jumbotron flickers out. Cut back to the broadcast table at ringside.] SR: For what I thought what was going to be a boring match, this turned out pretty nicely, Dross. Blood, sneak attacks, guys getting dragged down to ringside, fire extinguishers... good times. TD: Maybe for you, Steve Roberts, but we're trying to change the IIWF's image with this "Wrestle Clean!" campaign. SR: Steel chairs is to wrestling as fighting is to hockey, Dross. You know the old saying, I went to a fight last night and a hockey game broke out. TD: I wonder if it will ever change, Steve Roberts! But we have to give credit to Ryan Howard. What endurance he showed here tonight! SR: He'll need it. Welcome to the big leagues, rook! [Meanwhile, Ike Sampson has been making a circuit of ringside, slapping hands with as many fans as possible, before heading up the aisle to the cheers of the crowd. Cut back to the broadcast table at ringside.] TD: Quite a performance for Ike Sampson here tonight -- he really seems to have stepped things up since his return from Japan. SR: Aw, quit pushin' the boy scout, Dross. Is it time for the Fury yet? TD: Not quite, Steve Roberts. That great match featuring the IIWF's three singles champions all going up against Shadoe Rage in succession is still to come here tonight -- but before that, it's time for our World Tag Team Championship match, as the Natural Predators defend against the Fabulous Ones. SR: Whoop-de-doo. Gay guys galore. TD: Let's get up to the ring. ________ ______ | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|.................................................. | || | \ v v / | __| IIWF WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH: |_||_| \_/\_/ |_| Natural Predators vs. Fabulous Ones ....................................................................... WRITER: Shawn Kilpatrick [Sparkplug Lee climbs into the ring, pulls a card out of his pocket with a flourish, and raises the ring mic, clearing his throat with dignity as he begins to speak.] SL: Ahem... Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one fall, and is for the IIWF WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES! [Big pop from the crowd, as Sparkplug smiles and glances down at his card.] SL: Introducing first... a loaf of bread, a container of milk, a stick of butter, toilet paper, Ex-Lax... hey, this isn't... oh my gosh... [The crowd roars with glee and Sparkplug turns the brightest crimson possible by a human, as he realises he's just read his grocery list in front of a nationwide television audience.] TD: [over headset]  That may have been one of the funniest, and saddest things I've seen in awhile, Steve Roberts. SR: [over headset] Dross, that guy couldn't be any worse if he tried.  [Lee scrambles like a man possessed to fish the correct card out of his tuxedo pocket, and does his best to compose himself before continuing.] SL: Okay, uh, introducing first, hailing from Nagano, Japan, and weighing in at a combined... SR: [over headset] What's going on now? TD: [over headset] It seems we have a visitor, Steve.  [Sparkplug's introductions are cut off as Coverdale/Page's "Pride and Joy" plays through the PA, and the crowd waits in anticipation of who will come out.  The music isn't familiar as far as wrestler's entrances go.  Then, as a shapely figure step out from behind the curtains, the men in the crowd let rip with a monstrous ovation!  The shapely figure belongs to the valet/manager of the Fabulous Ones, Ms. Miki.  She's wearing a white, glittering, bikini top, and tight black jeans with flare legs, and black heeled boots.  She waves to the crowd as she enters the ring, and gestures for the ring mic.  Sparkplug eagerly hands the microphone to her.] TD: I'll bet Mr. Lee was never more happy to see Ms. Miki in his life, Steve. SR: That makes two of us, baby dolls.  You know, Dross, every time I see that litle bit o' hootchie-koo, I think I'm turning Japanese. TD: What? SR: I think I'm turning Japanese. TD: Are you sure? SR: I really think so. TD: Folks, while the front office scrambles our copywright lawyers, let's go back to the ring to see what Ms' Miki has to say. MM: Konbanwa, West Palm Beach!  [Huge cheer]  I'm here, to give the     women here and at home a giant size piece of eye-candy.   First, I'm     sure you know that they're going to make your out of shape, welfare     making, channel clicker kings of a husband and boyfriend look like     the rejects from the Gong Show. [A mixed ovation of boos and cheers.  Some men still cheer, even though she just busted on them.  They don't seem to care as long as she's in eye view.]     So, don't think that you can drop your man, and find something like     them, because they are the only perfect specimens you'll ever see in     your entire lifetimes, or until cloning has been mastered.  With     that out of the way, it's time for a feast for the eyes.  They hail     from the "Land of the Rising Sun" Nagoya, Japan... SR: That ain't the only thing rising, sweetheart. TD: Quiet, Steve. MM: ...and weigh in at an immaculate 525 pounds.  Here are every geneticist's dream of the perfect human being.  They're everything a man wants to be, and everything a woman wants to be with -- "The Universal Heartthrob" Agito Nakajima and "Sweet" Sho Satsuma, the FABULOUS ONES! [The lights go out and "Kiss of Death" by Dokken begins to play over the P.A.  The curtains in the entranceway open up and twelve red lasers shoot out into the ceiling, eventually forming the words "Fabulous Ones", and start to spin in a circle, faster and faster until the words become a crimson blur.  Then, a huge explosion goes off, and Agito Nakajima, in his black silk oriental-styled robe, comes out first, followed by Sho, who's wearing his black leather tuxedo jacket with tails, and tassels that run down the bottom of the sleeves.  His ribs are also taped up.  The duo walk out to a huge female ovation, and flashbulbs go off all around the arena.  Agito continues to the ring, as Sho stops, spins around a few times, and poses for the cheering crowd. Then, Mr. Tsuburaya, dressed in a blue Versace original suit, walks out and stands next to Sho.  Sho responds by stopping his posing, and hastily makes his way to the ring.  Agito has already entered the ring by this time and is doing his striptease.  He opens one side of his robe to show his incredibly ripped chest and abs, then closes it.  Then, does it again with the other side.  The women eat it up, and come back with an even louder ovation when Agito slides off the robe and starts to pose.  Sho slides into the ring as Ms. Miki hands the mic back to Sparkplug and climbs out, standing with Mr. Tsuburaya outside the ring. Sho takes off his tux and joins the posing.  A sea of light engulfs the crowd, as hundreds of flashbulbs go off.  Then, the music dies down and the Fabs prepare for battle, as referee Earl Alfonso moves over to check out the Asian sensations.] TD: Well, say what you like about the Fabulous Ones, Steve Roberts, but they certainly know how to make an entrance. SR: And they're so wonderfully colour-coordinated, aren't they, Dross dahling?  And the way Agito's simply to-die-for silk robe complements Sho's tastefully elegant tuxedo ensemble... it simply takes one's breath away, dahling.  Bravo, Fabulous Ones!  Bravo! TD: Steve Roberts, fashion maven, ladies and gentlemen. SR: Hey, don't get me wrong, Dross, I like the Fabs.  They're such... happy guys, you know?  Just so very, very happy.  Coming down here a-posin' and a-struttin', showin' off their "magnificently sculpted physiques" just as happy as can be.  Happy, happy, happy.  Hey, Dross, you know what another word for happy is? TD: [knowing full well where Roberts is going with this]  Let me think... gay? SR: I loves it when you let me play, buddy.  Ha! SL: And their opponents, hailing from Kinzua, Pennsylvania and Norfolk, Virginia respectively and accompanied by their manager, Kuyler Grayson, weighing in at a combined 625 pounds, here are the reigning IIWF World Tag Team Champions... Bear... Grey Phoenix...  THE NATURAL PREDATORS! [Big crowd pop as "Destination Eschaton" by the Shamen booms from the P.A., as Kuyler Grayson emerges from the entrance and begins walking down towards the ring.  Bear and Grey Phoenix stride side by side behind Grayson, looking very much the focused champions, with none of the grandstanding or showboating displayed by the Fabulous Ones.  Nakajima and Satsuma sneer arrogantly at the approach of the two massive champions, but Ms. Miki and Mr. Tsuburaya take the more cautious approach, and head for the opposite side of the ring as the trio enter the ring area and stop a few feet from the apron, glaring up at the Fabs.  Grayson motions to Sparkplug for the ring, and the announcer hands it off to the Predators' manager, as Bear and Grey Phoenix fold their arms across their chests, meeting the taunts of the Fabulous ones with stony silence.] TD: Well, now Mr. Grayson apparently has something he'd like to say. After the lengthy introduction Ms. Miki gave for the Fabulous Ones, I suppose he deserves equal time. SR: Yeak, but he ain't got a rack like Ms. Miki, Dross, so the less time he wastes, the better.  Hey, maybe he wants to invite the Fabs to join his "New Horsemen".  If he gets Nakajima and Satsumo,  he'll have the market on gay wrestlers in the Double Eye pretty much cornered. TD: Please, Steve.  Let's see what he has to say... [Grayson raises the mic and begins to speak, his eyes broadcasting contempt.] KG: You know what...? I want to know this... See, you Fabs want this     title shot so bad... but you lost last week to the Down Boys.  Now,     the way I see it, after tonight's Down Boys vs. Prophets match, we     all know two teams who deserve this shot a hell of a lot more than     you. [Crowd pop!] KG: But seeing how you two were the first team to step up to the      plate... we're going to have to work from the bottom up! [Suddenly the lights in the Auditoriom dim, and the video wall flickers to life.  The capacity crowd begins to pop with hilarious laugter as a clip from last Saturday night's broadcast is played, showing the Down Boys mooning the Fabulous Ones!  Nakajima and Satsumo are furious, and begin slamming the ropes in anger and frustration!  Grayson looks on with satisfaction, and the crowd's laughter only intensifies as the Fabs begin screaming at the ringside fans to shut up, far removed from their self-confident strutting just moments earlier!] TD: Grayson using a bit of psychological warfare on the Fabs before the match, Steve Roberts. SR: Good move by Grayson, Dross.  These Fabs are a walking psychoanalyst's nightmare, that's for sure.  See how the mere sight of a naked male posterior sends them into fits?  There's obviously some pent-up homosexual tendencies just tryin' to get out with these two. TD: And this is your _educated_ opinion, Dr. Roberts? SR: Sure!  Something just like this happened on an episode of "Frasier" a few weeks ago!  TD: "Frasier". SR: You should have seen what happened to the dog, Dross.  Sad.  [While the Fabs continue to scream at the laughing fans at ringside, Grayson snaps his fingers, and Ms' Miki's and Mr. Tsuburaya's warnings are lost in the laughter as Bear and Grey Phoenix storm into the ring, completely taking Nakajima and Satsumo by surprise!  Bear lays into Nakajima with a big clothesline, knocking the "Heartthrob" to the mat, while Phoenix and Satsumo begin trading shots, with the Predator quickly finding an opening and sending Satsumo sprawling with a spinwheel kick to the temple!  Big crowd pop!  Bear, the IIWF's reigning strongman, hammers away at Nakajima with a thunderous volley of lefts and rights before hoisting the disoriented Fab to his feet, grabbing him by the back of the head, and pitching him head-first over the top rope and out of the ring!  The crowd continues to pop wildly, as Bear steps through the ropes to take up his position outside the ring, leaving Phoenix to face off against Satsuma as Alfonso calls for the bell to start the match: Ding! Ding! Ding!] TD: A fast-paced start to this match, Steve, as the Predators take the Fabs by surprise, and now we have Grey Phoenix in there against "Sweet" Sho Satsuma.  The Fabulous Ones have to be steamed after those pre-match tactics by Grayson and the Predators. SR: Yeah, but that's no handicap for the Fabs, Dross.  I hear those two like to get steamed.  Especially back in the shower room, after all the other guys have gone home. TD: Will you stop? SR: That's what I said, Dross!  It's getting so bad, everybody's using Soap-On-A-Rope in there now, 'cause you can pick it up with your toes if you drop it. TD: Let's get back to the match, shall we? [Back in the ring, Phoenix has Satsuma in a reverse facelock after picking him up from the spinwheel kick, and planting his feet into the mat, whips Satsuma up and over with a devastating snap suplex that rocks the Fab!  Pop!  Phoenix scoops up Satsumo again, and sends him for the ride, setting up for a back body drop, but the quick-witted Satsumo goes up and over for a surprise sunset flip!  Alfonso drops for the count - 1 - kickout!  Both men scramble to their feet, but it is Satsumo who is quicker, kicking Phoenix in the midsection and following up with a big swinging neckbreaker that lays Phoenix out!  Pop!] TD: What a move from Satsumo!  He was a bit premature in attempting to pin the Grey Phoenix, but he pulled that neckbreaker out of nowhere! SR: He's a slippery guy, that Satsumo.  Especially when he brings out the sunflower oil. TD: I don't even want to know, Steve. SR: Especially on the latex sheets. [Phoenix lies on the mat as Sho takes the opportunity to preen for the audience, who are beginning to tire quickly of the extracurricular antics of the Fabulous Ones, and then Satsumo pulls the Predator to his feet, leaps high in the air, and brings his forehead down right between Phoenix's eyes with a crushing headbutt!  Pop!  Phoenix collapses back to the mat, clutching at his head, and Sho begins strutting around the prone figure of the Predator until he is facing Bear, and Satsuma shocks the crowd and the big Predator by flipping him two middle fingers!  Bear is incensed, and ignoring Grayson's orders to stay put, climbs into the ring at Satsuma, who quickly backpedals back to his corner!] TD: Satsuma's really getting under Bear's skin in there, Steve. SR: And the big moron went for it!  Alfonso's trying to get Yogi back into his corner, and the Fabs are going to town on the Grey Pigeon! Hey, these gay guys are pretty smart! [While Bear argues with Alfonso, Satsumo whips Phoenix to the corner, and Nakajima wastes no time in taking the tag rope and winding it around Phoenix's throat, choking him out while Sho puts the boots to Phoenix's abdomen, further hampering his breathing.  Bear sees this and struggles against Alfonso, who stands his ground and refuses to budge until Bear returns to his corner.  As the crowd boos its disapproval, Bear quickly relents, realising the dilemma he faces, and Alfonso turns to find Nakajima back in his corner, and Phoenix crumpled in a heap in the Fab's corner.] TD: Effective, if illegal, double teaming from the Fabulous Ones, and Grey Phoenix is in real trouble. SR: Hey, everything's legal if the ref don't see it, baby dolls.  Hell, everything the Fabs do to each other in the shower room is legal if the cops don't see it. [Mr. Tsuburaya nods in approval and Ms. Miki claps her hands with delight as Sho tags in Nakajima, and the bigger of the Fabulous Ones enters the ring, taking a moment to flex his upper body for the fans at ringside, who give him a mixed pop, many of the fans just wanting to see the wrestling.  Nakajima doesn't disappoint there either, as he picks up the gasping Phoenix and tosses him halfway across the ring with a belly-to-back suplex!  Big pop!  Nakajima takes his time in strutting over to the prone Predator, hurling more abuse at Bear, who champs at the bit to get in the ring but is restrained by Grayson.  nakajima turns his attention back to Phoenix, yanking him up to his feet and in one fluid motion, pressing the Predator high over his head!] TD: Military press!  Look at the power from Nakajima! SR: No!  The Pigeon rolled out! [As Nakajima holds the Grey Phoenix high in the air, the Predator shifts his weight and rolls out of the press, landing behind the Fab, shoving him into the ropes, and pulling him down for a Mexican rollup pin! Alfonso drops for the count - 1 - 2 - kickout!] TD: Incredible!  The Grey Phoenix is still alive, and he very nearly got Nakajima with that surprise rollup! SR: If the Fabs have a weakness... okay, their _biggest_ weakness, is that they've gotta keep focused and stop worrying about whether their hair's out of place or if their tights are bunching up in the ass. That's no hack team they're facing in there... okay, they _are_ a hack team, but they are the champs, and they ain't just gonna give you an easy win. [Nakajima kicks out of the rollup, and scrambles to his feet, incensed, but Grey Phoenix has already made t to his feet, and he flies across the ring like his namesake to tag in Bear!  Huge pop as the massive Predator climbs through the ropes, and lets out an ear-splitting roar that has Nakajima backpedalling!] TD: The IIWF Strongman in the ring now, and Nakajima looks like he doesn't want any part of him. SR: Not his type, I guess.  Ajito obviously goes for the cute little guys like Sho.  Someone who he can slap around, someone who'll cook and clean, someone who'll call him "Daddy"... Hey, Miki!  I'll be your daddy! TD: Somehow I doubt you're her type, Steve. SR: Who cares, Dross?  We're talkin' about _my_ needs here!  Come to Daddy, sweetheart! [Ms. Miki looks more concerned about Nakajima than Roberts, as the big Fab steps forward, calling for a test of strength with Bear, who just stands there, dismissing Nakajima's taunts with an "as if" expression. Nakajima persists, taunting the big Predator and holding his hands out hig, until Bear finally shrugs and steps forward with a confident grin, lacing his fingers into Nakajima's.] TD: I don't know what Nakajima thinks he's doing here.  He's a big guy, sure, but he can't possibly match Bear's raw power. SR: He ain't gonna, Dross.  He's gonna plant his boot in the big lummox's breadbasket in about five seconds.  This is the oldest trick in the book. [However, as soon as the two men lock hands, surprisingly it is Bear who delivers the cheap shot, burying his boot in Nakajima's abdomen, and following through with a crushing elbowdrop that flattens the Fab!  Huge pop!  A wild gleam flashes in the big Predator's eyes as he pulls Nakajima up, drives him into the ropes, and catches him on the rebound with a booming powerslam that shakes the ring!] TD: The big Bear caught Nakajima unawares, and now he has the Fabulous One in a world of trouble!  The impact on that powerslam was incredible! [Bear quickly covers for the pin... 1 - 2 - and only two, as Sho Satsumo comes off the turnbuckles with a flying elbowdrop to the back of the Predator's head!  Bear is more angered than hurt by this move, and he immediately charges to his feet and lumbers after Satsumo, who quickly climbs through the ropes to escape.  As Bear swipes a massive forearm at Sho, missing him by millimetres, Nakajima rushes in from behind and drives a double axehandle into the back of the big man's head, and Bear collapses in the Fab's corner.] TD: Oh my goodness!  Bear gets nailed from behind by Nakajima... SR: I ain't goin' anywhere near that one.  TD: ...and the Predator is in the wrong part of town now!  You have to hand it to the Fabulous Ones, they have managed to turn the tide several times in this match, and they are giving the champions a real run for their money here tonight! [Nakajima and Satsumo take turns kicking at the massive Bear in the corner, targetting the big man's ribs, before Alfonso rushes in to break up the double-team, and Nakajima tags Sho back in.  Satsumo allows Nakajima to pull up Bear for him, and stands him up in the corner as Satsumo measures the big Predator, and delivers his Gojira Blast superkick flush on the big man's jaw!  Huge pop!  bear falls out of the corner and crumples into the middle of the ring, and Sho wastes no time this time in going for the cover.  Alfonso drops for the count... 1 - 2...] SR: Three! TD: No!  Grey Phoenix rushes in and makes the save, and Sho is furious! He's going after Phoenix! [Before Sho can get his hands on Phoenix, though, Bear whips a tree-trunk arm around and pulls Satsumo down, and Phoenix takes the opportunity to nail Sho with a powerdrive elbow off the ropes, prompting Nakajima to rush in and level Phoenix with a clothesline to the back of the neck!  Chaos erupts in the ring as all four men begin brawling!] TD: Katy, bar the door!  It's a Pier Six brawl! SR: The Fabs have to be careful here, Dross.  A DQ ain't gonna give them the gold. [Mr. Tsuburaya has the sam idea, and he steps forward, barking up at the ring in Japanese at Nakajima, who reluctantly backs off of the Grey Phoenix, but before he reaches the corner, he stops, staring up the aisle towards the entranceway, a scowl twisting his features.  Ms. Miki and Mr Tsuburaya notice Nakajima's expression, and follow his gaze to the entrance.] TD: Well, now things are really getting interesting.  The Down Boys are on their way down to ringside.  SR: Maybe they think it was the Fabs that took out Awesome T earlier tonight.  After all, they specialize in jumping from behind. TD: [sighs] That's just about enough of that, mister. [As Phoenix moves back to his corner, leaving Sho and Bear in the ring, Adam Peterson and Dan Oliver take up a position just outside of the ring area, shooting glares at Nakajima in the ring, who responds with a scathing scowl of his own.  Mr. Tsuburaya and Ms. Miki are torn between following Sho's progress in the ring against Bear, and keeping their eyes on the actions of the Down Boys.  In the ring, Sho has risen back to his feet, while Bear, still feeling the effects of the Gojira Blast and the Fabs' double teaming, is slow to rise to one knee.  While everyone's attention, including Alfonso's, is distracted by the commotion at ringside caused by the Down Boys' appearance, Sho backs into a corner, and begins peling back the white tape covering his ribs.] TD: Nakajima is just hurling abuse at the Down Boys from the ring... SR: That's it, Ajito.  Talk dirty to 'em.  Treat 'em like the miserable sex pigs they are. TD: Now you're starting to worry me, Steve... hold on, what's Sho got? SR: Non-gonococchal urethritis? TD: No, he's got an Asian Spike!  He smuggled that object in under the tape on his ribs, and neither Bear nor Alfonso has seen it! [As Bear slowly rises to his feet, Sho winds up, a smile flashing across his features, and prepares to deliver the Asian Spike to the big Predator's throat!  But the one person who does see what Sho is up to is the Grey Phoenix, who shouts at Bear to watch out, and Bear raises his head in time to Sho swing at him with the object in his hand, and he blocks the attempt, catching the spike in one massive paw of a hand! Incredible pop!  Satsumo is no match for the Predator's power as Bear wrenches the spike out of Sho's hand, seizes Satsumo by the throat with the other, and drives the spike into the side of Satsumo's temple, dropping the Fabulous One like a stone!  Incredible pop!  Bear flings the spike out of the ring as Alfonso turns back to the action, sees Bear covering Satsumo, and leaps across the ring for the count - 1 - 2 - 3! Ding!  Ding!  Ding!] SL: Here are your winners, and STILL IIWF World Tag Team Champions -- Bear... Grey Phoenix... THE NATURAL PREDATORS! ["Destination Eschaton" by the Shamen plays form the P.A. once again, as Grey Phoenix bolts into the ring and stands over Bear, daring Nakajima to make a move as Bear climbs back up to his feet and has his arm raised by Alfonso.  The Predators do not hang around to gloat, and Bear and Phoenix quickly climb through the ropes, meeting a proud Grayson on the outside and heading up the aisle to the exit to he cheers of the Auditorium crowd.  Inside the ring, Sho Satsumo still has not moved, but Nakajima still has not seen to his fallen partner, as he slams the ropes in fury and hurls a torrent of abuse at the Down Boys, who just look on at the furious Fab, barely able to contain their amusement.  Ms. Miki and Mr. Tsuburaya climb into the ring, and attend to Sho, who is just beginning to come aroung and seems to be having trouble recognising his manager and valet.  The Down Boys, satisfied with the chaos they have caused, make their way out of the Auditoriium as Tsusbraya and Miki help Sho out of the ring and up the aisle, where they are joined by a still-fuming Nakajima, and the foursome exit to a chorus of jeers from the crowd.] TD: Well, what a match that was, Steve Roberts.  The Fabulous Ones, despite their loss, certainly proved that they are a force to be reckoned with in the IIWF, holding their own with the World Tag champs throughout that match. SR: And they have such fine fashion sense, Dross.  That goes a long way towards contending for a title. TD: Well, in your case, Steve, feather boas certainly didn't do the trick.  I'm sure that the Fabulous Ones will be looking to hang the blame for their loss around the necks of the Down Boys, a feud that is bound to heat up after the events of this evening. SR: I'd blame it on Sho Satsumo, Dross.  He should have taken out the Grey Pigeon with that Asian Spike first, before using it on Yogi. [Cut back to the broadcast table at ringside.] TD: Folks, what a tremendous night of action it's been here in the historic West Palm Beach Auditorium -- and we're about to make some real IIWF history with tonight's main event. Never before in the history of the IIWF have all three singles champions wrestled in the same match, as they are about to. SR: It's Skullpump time, baby dolls. TD: The "King of Snow Brawl", Shadoe Rage, will face the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi, Duncan Macbeth and Steve "the Fury" Kowalski in succession, whether he wins, loses or draws each decision. This could be a career-shortening -- or maybe even career-ending -- match for Rage... but it's bound to be a breathtaking encounter. Let's get up to the ring! ________ ______ | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|.................................................. | || | \ v v / | __| VALENTINE'S DAY MASSACRE: |_||_| \_/\_/ |_| "Savage" Shadoe Rage vs. "Enigma" Takezo Musashi, Duncan Macbeth & Steve "the Fury" Kowalski ....................................................................... WRITER: Dave Hogg [Sparkplug Lee takes up his position in the centre of the ring, and raises the microphone to his lips:] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a special non-title VALENTINE'S DAY MASSACRE, and it is your main event of the evening! [Big pop from the fans in attendance!] RA: The rules of this match are as follows. Shadoe Rage must face three men in succession. One opponent at a time will enter the ring, and a decision -- by pinfall, submission, disqualification, or countout -- must be reached before the next man may enter. If Rage is on the losing end of a decision, he must answer the referee's ten count, returning to the ring if necessary, in order to continue the match. [The crowd have hushed while listening to the stipulations.] SR: Did you catch all that, Dross? TD: Indeed I did, Steve Roberts. Do you need some clarification, as usual? SR: No, Dross -- I know what it means. It means Rage is gonna put the beat down on that Laotian guy, and then the Scottish guy... and then he's gonna get Skullpumped by the New Jersey Nightmare! ["The Death March" strikes up over the PA as the lights in the arena drop, a trail of deep purple spotlights swinging over the aisle.] RA: Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Marissa Monet, hailing from Halifax, Nova Scotia, and weighing in at 248lbs, here is the "King of Snow Brawl", the instigator of the Valentine's Day Massacre... here is "Savage" Shadoe Rage! [Big heel pop as the Rage entourage once again comes through the curtains. Rage and Monet are once more seated in their regal sedan chair, which is borne on the shoulders of a dozen or more burly young black men. A pair of scantily-clad young women strew rose petals in the path of the sedan chair as they make their way down to ringside, and Rage himself is anointed with oils by another pair of girls sitting with him on the sedan chair.] TD: Thankfully no lions this week, Steve Roberts. SR: I hear there were some backstage shenanigans between those lions and the Fabulous Ones last week, Dross. Those Japanese morons thought the lions were female admirers of theirs, on account of their manes -- always the wishful thinking from the gay guys -- and from what I hear, the animal cruelty people were called out. TD: You're making that up, Steve Roberts. SR: I did once. TD: Best weekend of your life? SR: How'd you guess? [The Rage entourage reaches ringside, and the sedan chair is lowered onto the apron so that Shadoe and Monet can dismount. The two of them enter the ring as the lights rise once again. The astoundingly tall and statuesque Monet removes Shadoe's rage as he stands in the ring and rolls his head to loosen up his neck. He is the picture of determination as he stands in the ring with his black tights and his single long evening glove on his hand.] RA: And introducing his first opponent... hailing from Kobe, Japan, and weighing in at 210lbs, here is the current IIWF Cruiserweight Champion... the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi! [The Enigma's music strikes up to a round of jeers from the crowd, but there is no sign of the Cruiserweight champion.] SR: That, Dross, is one strange man. But that's how they grow them in Nepal. TD: Japan, Steve. Japan. SR: No, Dross. Nepal is threatened by China, not Japan. Learn your world geopolitics. TD: The Enigma is Japanese, not Nepalese. You know, Steve. Japan. The host of the 1998 Winter Olympics, and where we will be in just a few short weeks. SR: That reminds me. Did you see the finish of the Japan-United States curling match last night? TD: No, I did not. CBS didn't show any curling last night. SR: That's why you have to hang with me, Dross. I found a sports bar that picked up the Canadian coverage. It was a brilliant match. Tied on the last end, and the Japanese skip plays a picture-perfect freeze with his last rock. No one thought the Americans had a shot to play. Even Mike Harris, skip of the Canadian squad, said he thought Tim Somerville's only chance was to throw a heater and blow all three stones out of the house, then go for the win on an extra end. And do you know what happened next, Dross? Do you have any idea? TD: I don't even understand what you've said so far. SR: The US alternate, our own Crazy Joe Petrow, calls down to Somerville and gives him an idea. Play a damn-near impossible shot, sliding just past the Japanese rock at the top of the four-foot,  hit your own rock, and chip the other Japanese stone off the button. All that, and you have to keep your shooter from sliding out of the four-foot. And that's not as easy as it sounds. TD: Heavens, no. SR: And he made the shot! He pulls off the shot of his career on the last rock of the last end, and puts his rink into the semi-finals against Canada -- and it was all the idea of Joe Petrow. You should have seen the celebration -- Tim Somerville pumping his fist and waving, Petrow and 4M bowing and the crowd chanting "T-S!". It was a beautiful thing to see. TD: Steve? SR: Yeah, Dross? TD: There's the Enigma. [Indeed, Musashi has finally stepped through the curtain. He is wearing his traditional black karate-style pants, which are adorned with red pentacles. Those same pentacles are painted around his eyes, but the decorations don't even begin to hide the crazed look of menace that burns in his gaze. His bare chest and back are both painted with the word "Chaos" - the paint dripping down like unclotted blood. Instantly, both Shadoe Rage and the US Curling squad are forgotten as the crowd comes alive with their hatred of the Japanese star.] TD: Listen to this crowd, Steve Roberts. I've been a part of the IIWF for a long time, but I don't ever remember a wrestler who has been as universally despised as the Enigma is now. SR: I don't understand that. All he did was rid us of an annoying Swedish gay guy. TD: Finnish, Steve. SR: Finish? I haven't even gotten started, Dross. [The Enigma slowly makes his way to ringside, staring holes through Shadoe Rage. But before he makes it more than halfway down the aisle, he is sent flying by a football tackle from behind.] TD: That's Edmund Fitzgerald! He has just attacked the man who ended his partner's career! And they are brawling in the aisleway! [The two men fire punches at each other, with Musashi adding in the odd kick. But before the brawl can get too far along, the pair are separated by the Natural Predators, with the Grey Phoenix pulling Fitz away from his rival.] SR: You know, this is why I don't like the Predators. Just when we get a good brawl going, they have to come out and break it up like little choirboys. [Kuyler Grayson and the Grey Phoenix keep trying to calm down Fitzgerald, who is screaming insults at the cruiserweight champion. For his part, Musashi is fairly calm, sneering at Fitz, and telling him that his partner just wasn't man enough. Fitzgerald finally seems to calm down, and lets the Phoenix pull him away, when...] TD: My god! The Enigma was paying so much attention to Fitzgerald that he forgot about Bear! And the strongest man in the IIWF just leveled him with a clothesline to the back of the head! Now Bear is picking him up in a Gorilla Press! What is he going to d... Oh! He just dropped him face-first on to the steel steps! And now Fitzgerald and the Grey Phoenix are joining in the attack -- Musashi is in big trouble here! SR: I take back what I just said about the Predators -- they're showing some promise. Just like Fitz did when he broke away from Icehawk and joined Potato Famine. TD: The Enigma is up! [Somehow, Musashi has gotten to his feet, and is desperately throwing kicks and chops. For one amazing moment, his fury actually has his opponents back on their heels, but he is quickly overwhelmed by the anger of three bigger men who are fighting for the honor of their injured friend. Before long, he is left laid out on the floor, with the final blow being a standing Shipwreck Slam onto the concrete from Fitz. As the group heads back to the dressing rooms, Bear wipes his brow with his right hand and flings the sweat onto Musashi, keeping his thumb tucked away.] TD: Obviously, that was a planned attack by Fitzgerald and the Predators to get a measure of revenge for the Enigma's attack on Icehawk. SR: True, and they laid him out. But that doesn't change the fact that their gay little buddy's athletic career is going to limited to rolling downhill. TD: You are a sick and twisted man, Steve Roberts. [While Tim and Steve have been chatting, so have been Dave D'Amato and Sparky. As they finish, Sparkplug picks up his ring mic.] SL: The official has ruled that since Takezo Musashi is currently unable to wrestle, he will be switched to second. So please welcome the Intercontinental Champion, Duncan Macbeth! ["Tubthumping" blares over the PA system, and Macbeth makes his way to ringside, with Timothy Turner at his side. As they pass the crumpled form of the Enigma, TNT smirks at his rival, and gives him some sarcastic applause as he tries to rise.] TD: Some bad blood there between the last two men to hold the cruiserweight title -- but the important thing is that we are finally going to get this match underway! [As soon as Macbeth hits the ring, he is jumped by Rage. Shadoe fires away at the Scot, ignoring scientific moves in favor of elbows and knees. Macbeth is driven back by the wildness of the barrage, but gains an advantage by driving a knee into Rage's midsection. As Shadoe staggers back, he is flattened by a vicious clothesline. But almost as soon as he hits the mat, he is up again, flinging himself at Macbeth.] TD: Shadoe Rage is attacking like a wild man here! But that might not be a brilliant strategy against a skilled technician like Duncan Macbeth. [As the match continues, Tim is proven correct, as Macbeth starts to gain a slight advantage, his speed and ring skills overcoming the sheer fury of Shadoe Rage. But the edge is only slight, with both men landing moves that would finish almost any other wrestler in the IIWF.] TD: I can not believe the pace of this match, Steve Roberts. Even if Shadoe Rage manages to pull out this victory, what will he have left for the Enigma and the Fury? SR: I have no clue, Dross. Anyone who wants to go in with the Fury worries me -- someone who wants to wrestle two other guys first is just a nutbar. I like Shadoe, he can really go -- but he's a nutbar. TD: And he's having a hard time just pulling out this first... OH! [Suddenly, it is Duncan Macbeth who is staggering across the ring, as the quickly-recovering Enigma cracks him across the back of his head with his title belt. Rage immediately takes advantage, slamming the Scot to the mat with a DDT! At the same time, Timothy Turner yanks Musashi off the apron, and they begin to fight at ringside.] TD: The Enigma is trying to anger the entire IIWF tonight! SR: That's what those Mongolians are known for, Dross. [In the ring, Rage has scooped up Macbeth and drives him into the mat with a powerbomb! He covers, and Dave D'Amato slides into position: 1 -- 2...] TD: THREE! Shadoe Rage has upset Duncan Macbeth with some help from the Enigma, Takezo Musashi! But he still has two champions to face! SR: And here comes the second! [As soon as Musashi sees the pinfall, he levels TNT with a spin kick and charges into the ring at Shadoe Rage, who is still clearing his head after the exhausting first match.] TD: Shadoe Rage doesn't even get a second's rest, as the wildest man in the IIWF is immediately on him! And look at the power of those kicks! SR: He should play in the NFL! Has there ever been a kicker from Vietnam? [The Enigma backs Rage into a corner with some hard kicks to the abdomen and legs. Once he has Shadoe against the turnbuckles, the kicks get harder and harder until the bigger man is slumped helplessly against the ropes. At that moment, Musashi ends the flurry with a brutal spinning kick to Rage's head. As the crowd gasps, Shadoe slides down the turnbuckles, winding up on his face in the corner.] TD: What a vicious attack! And Shadoe Rage is nearly unconscious! And now what is the Enigma doing? SR: He's left the ring, and it looks like he is setting up for a STF around the ringpost! This could cripple Rage! Go, Enigma! [The incredible rush of pain instantly brings Rage back to full consciousness, but the only sound he makes is a single soft moan of pain. For several minutes, Musashi keeps the hold on, despite repeated warnings from D'Amato. Finally, the official has to physically pull the Enigma away from the ringpost. The Cruiserweight champion shrugs and enters the ring, where he stands triumphantly over the downed Rage. Until Shadoe reaches up and drops him with a low blow.] SR: Oh! They are going to feel that one all over Thailand! TD: I can not believe this! After all that punishment, Shadoe Rage is fighting back! Look at those clotheslines! And now a slam, and now... oh! He just backdropped Musashi right over the top rope! [Amazingly, the Enigma lands on his feet, but is immediately flattened by a Shadoe Rage plancha. Both men have been fighting several men all night, but they find another burst of energy and go at each other in a nasty toe-to-toe brawl. While Musashi has torn apart the cruiserweights, he finds himself at a disadvantage, and Rage soon has him backed against the timekeeper's table. But in one fluid motion, the champion reaches behind him, grabs the ring bell, and drives it into Shadoe's jaw. DING! And then again, after the timekeeper retrieves his bell, DING!] TD: Dave D'Amato has disqualified Takezo Musashi for that attack with the bell! But it has left Shadoe Rage unconscious on the floor, and the Cruiserweight champion is firing kicks into his motionless body! The officials are finally dragging the Enigma away, but how in the world is Shadoe Rage going to face the IIWF World Champion? SR: The Fury might set an IIWF record for the fastest pin. How hard will it be to pin a dead guy? [The crowd is now on its feet in anticipation, the chants of "SKULL-PUMP! SKULL-PUMP!" resounding around the Auditorium!] SL: The next wrestler, the Heavyweight Champion of the World, Steve "The Fury" Kowalski! [The Fury makes his way to the ring, and as soon as he sets foot on the canvas, Dave D'Amato begins the ten count. When he reaches five, Shadoe Rage has not moved, so Marissa Monet slaps him hard across the face. That seems to bring him back to semi-consciousness, but still isn't enough. So the women's star simply scoops up her man and dumps him into the ring.] TD: It is very impressive that Marissa Monet can pick up Shadoe Rage, but what is she thinking? Why would you fling someone you care about to the wrath of the Fury? SR: Some people are just kinky that way, Dross. [The Fury yells down to Monet, asking what in the world she is doing, then shrugs and picks up Rage. As the crowd chants "SKULL-PUMP!", Kowalski prepares to deliver just that. First he hooks one arm, then the other... but then Shadoe Rage backdrops the Fury out of the hold! Huge astouned pop!] TD: NO! Shadoe Rage powers out! I don't believe it, and neither does the Fury! SR: That might have been a mistake. [Smile gone, the Fury starts to brutalize Shadoe Rage with every move he knows, concentrating on the head and ribcage. Soon, Rage is bleeding badly and struggling for breath, and there is obvious swelling around both of his eyes. But the angry champion makes no effort to win the match.] SR: That was definitely a mistake. TD: Shadoe Rage's ego might have gotten the best of him tonight. You just can't wrestle the three biggest stars in the IIWF back-to-back-to-back, and you certainly can't go into a match against the Fury at less than one hundred percent. [The Fury charges at Rage for a monster clothesline, but Shadoe ducks, and as the champion comes back off the ropes, he plants him with a DDT. He follows that up by firing the Fury into the ropes twice, first for a hurracanrana, then for a stunning spinebuster. He then drags the champion into the corner, and makes his way to the top rope. For a long moment, he stands there, blood dripping into his swollen eyes, chest heaving, but somehow triumphant.] TD: He's not going to... SR: He couldn't... TD: He DID! [The crowd, buzzing throughout the match, comes to their feet as one as Shadoe Rage, using the last bit of his energy, lands the Angel of Death Drop... onto a table at ringside! The wooden table explodes, with Rage and Kowalski coming to rest among the fragments. But it quickly becomes obvious that Shadoe Rage used his last bit of energy to pull off the move. As Dave D'Amato begins the count, only the Fury moves. He starts to pull himself up to the apron, but stops when he feels something. Somehow, some way, Rage has found just enough energy to grab onto the champion's ankle, trying to keep him from getting back into the ring.] TD: What a show of courage from Shadoe Rage! He just refuses to quit! [The Fury looks down at Shadoe, the emotions of anger, disbelief, and yes, even a touch of admiration passing across his face. But that doesn't stop him from reaching down, picking up Rage, and roughly ramming his head in between his legs. The crowd once again joins in the chant... "SKULL-PUMP! SKULL-PUMP!" Kowalski hooks one arm... then the other... and this time there is no escape for Rage as the Fury leaps up and then drives Shadoe's head _down_, into the remains of the table! The Fury yells at D'Amato to get out of the ring and make the count.] TD: Falls count anywhere here, folks, and if Rage is put down for the three count, he has to get back into the ring by the count of ten for the match to continue. SR: D'Amato can count to a hundred, Dross -- Rage is done. [D'Amato rolls out of the ring and into position as Kowalski nonchalantly covers the battered and bloody Rage. The count: 1 -- 2 -- 3! Huge pop! The crowd chants "FU-RY! FU-RY!" as Kowalski rolls to his feet, flicks the sweat from his brow onto the downed Rage, and slides back into the ring.] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, Shadoe Rage must now answer the count of ten in order to continue this match! [D'Amato rolls back into the ring and stands by the ropes, giving the mandatory count, as Kowalski stands beside him, a glint in his eye, challenging Rage to get back up to his feet. D'Amato counts one... he counts two... he counts three...] TD: Shadoe Rage is not moving at all, Steve Roberts. This match is over. SR: Visits to Skullpump City are one way only, baby dolls! [The count reaches five... and Rage begins to stir! Marissa Monet bends over her charge, and seems to be willing him to get up. Amidst the wreckage of the table, Rage begins to move! The Fury nods from the ring, and beckons Rage to come right at him again! The count reaches seven as the fans begin to pop wildly, Rage rolling to his knees... the count reaches eight as Rage gets to his feet...] TD: This is unbelievable! Rage has to get back into the ring before the count of ten -- and I think he's going to do it, Steve Roberts! [The count reaches nine as Shadoe's hands hit the apron, Rage dragging himself back into the ring... D'Amato's hand goes up for the tenth time, and... Huge pop!] TD: Oh my! It's over! Kowalski just kicked Rage in the face through the ropes to stop him getting back into the ring! It's over! [The crowd goes crazy as "Don't Fear The Reaper" kicks in over the PA system, Dave D'Amato raising the Fury's arm in the centre of the ring as Monet once again tends to the downed Shadoe Rage on the outside. "FU-RY! FU-RY! FU-RY!"] TD: Shadoe Rage couldn't beat all three IIWF singles champions in one night... but he has won more respect tonight that he has in his entire career. To get two wins, and even have anything left to push the World Champion is an amazing feat. SR: And he _still_ isn't finished! [Indeed, Rage has regained his feet, and rolls into the ring, charging the Fury, swinging wildly with the World title belt that he found in the wreckage of the table. But he doesn't have enough left, and Kowalski easily takes the belt away from Shadoe and sends him flying out of the ring with a single shot. He then raises his hands and basks in the ovation from the fans, while Marissa Monet helps Rage back to the locker room.] TD: What a performance from Shadoe Rage here tonight, folks -- but in the end, he couldn't quite match up to the Fury. The IIWF World Heavyweight Champion is on top of the world here tonight! [Kowalski climbs to the second turnbuckle and hoists the IIWF World Championship title above his head, loving every moment of the fans' cheers, as a huge volley of fireworks erupts overhead!] TD: We're right out of time here tonight, folks! The "Road to Ring Wars V" rumbles on, and next Saturday Night, we'll be coming at you live from the Juan Librel Stadium in Bayamon, Puerto Rico, and we'll have a special interview with Puerto Rican legend, the Magnificent Carlitos! Don't forget to tune into "Inside the IIWF" on Tuesday for all the latest news on events here in the IIWF, but until then, for "Soundbite" Steve Roberts, this is Tim Dross, saying: so long, everybody! [Cut to a wide-angle shot of the West Palm Beach Auditorium as the Fury moves to each turnbuckle in turn, saluting the fans as cameras flash all over the arena, and fireworks continue to erupt overhead. Fades.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Gregg Osterhout | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | ghost@frii.com | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+