[The screen is pitch black. Absolute darkness, quietly broken by the
voice of the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion:]
 
SK: I know ya wanna be me, Anus, but who can blame ya...everybody does.  
 
[The screen flashes momentarily with footage of Kowalski executing the
Skullpump on a hapless opponent.]
 
SK: Everybody an' their muther has been after me... an' they still can't 
    collect the bounty.  Nobody can. 
 
[Another flash: Kowalski executing a tricycle moonsault.]
 
SK: I ain't gotta beat ya... _Ya_ have to beat me!  That's what it means 
    to become champ. 
 
[Another flash: Kowalski slugging it out with Mad Dog Watkins.]
 
SK: This is your chance, take it.  It's now or never. 
 
[Another flash: Kowalski, battered and bleeding, pulling himself from
the wreckage of the cage at Snow Brawl.]
 
SK: I'm the oldest young man I know.  The mileage I got on this carcass, 
    is _way_ too far.  But I'm not askin' fer pity.  I'm askin' ya to
    give it yer best!
 
[Another flash: a dim light catches a glimpse of a bleeding hand,
clutching tightly to the IIWF Heavyweight belt.  Then, darkness again,
this time broken by the voice of Serge Annis:]
 
SA: You could never beat me.  You tried and tried, but you just couldn't    
    do it. 
 
[Flash: Annis executes a vicious Epitomizer chokeslam on Nick McGill.]
 
SA: Steve Kowalski, you walked away with my belt. 
 
[Flash: Annis executes a frog splash on the hapless McGill, who is
covered by a section of steel crowd barrier.]
 
SA: This is Serge Annis and Steve Kowalski, two of the toughest men to 
    ever compete in the IIWF. 
 
[Flash: Annis drops an opponent with a deadly DDT.]
 
SA: I see Steve Kowalski.  The IIWF World Heavyweight Champion.  And 
    that makes you public enemy number one.
 
[Flash cut to snippets of footage from the last time Steve Kowalski and
Serge Annis stood in the same ring: Annis chokeslams Kowalski through a
table; Kowalski and Brody Thunder hitting Annis with a double powerbomb;
Annis is hit with a spinebuster by Mad Dog Watkins; Kowalski scores the
pinfall and walks away with the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship.
The cuts come faster and faster, until the screen is consumed by a white
heat, and the opening graphics explode into view:]
 
 
 ________      ______    __    ____   ___  __              .  _    ___
 | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|  /    /\  | | ||  \|  \ /\ \ /  |\ || / \| | |
 | || | \ v  v / | __|  \__ /__\ | | ||__/|  |/__\ v   | \||| __|-| |
 |_||_|  \_/\_/  |_|       \    \|  v |  \|__/    \|   |  || \_|| | |
 __________________________/...hour one...\........|...|.......|....|
                          LIVE!  Sydney Opera House, Sydney, Australia
                                                          7 March 1998
 
 
[The opening graphics fade through to interior shots of the jam-packed
concert hall in the Sydney Opera House, fireworks shooting out from
either side of the huge video wall above the entranceway at the head of
the aisle and streaking up into the rafters above above the ringside
enclosure, seemingly triggering further fireworks, and sending a rain of
white sparks down into the ring.  Finally, flames shoot up from each of
the four corners of the ring from pyros mounted on the ringposts.  Huge
pop from the seven thousand plus fans crowding the floor seating and
filling the mezzanine, lining the entire arena.  The shot pans down past
row upon row of excited faces, young and old, many bedecked in IIWF
merchandise, and most waving home-made signs.  Over these scenes comes
the voice of Tim Dross, his words being carried over the PA system:]
 
TD: Welcome everybody to the penultimate stop on the Road to Ring Wars 
    V!  Welcome everybody to Sydney, Australia!  Welcome everybody to
    IIWF Saturday Night!
 
[Another huge cheer goes up from the fans as the shot swings over the
crowd, multi-coloured spotlights in the rigging above the ring casting
their bright beams over the sea of humanity ranged over the floor of the
hall.  "The Death March" pipes over the PA system as the shot cuts to
Tim Dross, dressed in his usual blazer and IIWF tie, clutching a
microphone in the centre of the ring.]
 
TD: Ladies and gentlemen, last week, one man earned the right to face 
    the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion in the main event at Ring Wars V
    in two weeks, live from Wembley Stadium in London, England.  One man
    earned the right not only to face the champion -- but to choose the
    stipulations for that match!  To find out just what those
    stipulations will be, please welcome my guest at this time... he is
    the "King of Snow Brawl"... he is... "Savage" Shadoe Rage!
 
[The curtains part, and Shadoe Rage and Marissa Monet sweep through into
the aisle.  Shadoe Rage strides out in a black sleeveless T-shirt with
"Enemy of the World" written across the back and wide-legged black
jeans.  His head is tied up in a bandanna and he wears expensive black
sunglasses.  He wears black finger-less gloves, flexing and shaking his
hands as he smiles broadly as he strides to the ring.  Marisa is just
behind him, dressed in low-slung jeans, a Calvin Klein bra top and a
pink bubblegoose jacket.  The pair is rugged and ready.]
 
SR: Freak out!  Freak out!  Black History Month is only once a year!  
    But don't think that just because February is gone that Shadoe Rage
    is gone!  Because goddammit I'm right here!  
 
[The crowd manages to pop and boo at the same time.  Everybody hurls an
opinion at Shadoe Rage.  He gets them hot, but they're never sure how
they feel about him.]
 
TD: Shadoe Rage, Shadoe Rage, you must be feeling pretty special at 
    having defeated Steve Kowalski in your final match to get the right
    to face him at Ring Wars 5.
 
SR: Pleased?  _Pleased?_  Tim Dross, when I came out of the tag-team 
    ranks I just kicked in the door and let in fresh air.  See, how many
    times have we seen the same stale matches between the Dan Kauffmans,
    the Chris Quigleys, the Joe Petrows, the Steve Kowalskis and Brody
    Thunders?  No, it is time for a new champion!  A new Age of the Rage
    to dawn on the world.  And I am going to be at the forefront.  I'm
    going to drag the IIWF kicking and screaming into a new age!  An age
    of Rage!
 
MM: [taking the mic from Dross] This man represents the future of 
    wrestling!  A man who just doesn't know the meaning of the word
    quit!  A man who is just the fiercest man there is on the planet!
    And no one, not Steve "the Fury" Kowalski, not the "Enigma" or
    "Crazy" Joe Petrow can hold a candle to the savage Shadoe Rage!
    That's just a fact!
 
TD: Well, you have a big match at Ring Wars V against the IIWF champion, 
    Steve "the Fury" Kowalski!  What do you have in store for him now
    that you can determine the match stipulations?
 
[Shadoe Rage smiles a smile that just isn't pleasant.  In fact, it's
downright fierce.  Marissa reaches into her pocket and produces a folded
contract.  She hands it to Shadoe, who smiles as he unfolds it and hands
it to Tim Dross.]
 
SR: You've heard me make the cry time after time.  Die in darkness.  And 
    many of you may have wondered exactly what it was that I had to say
    and meant to say when I said it.  Well, in just a few short weeks
    you will have the pleasure of watching a Death in Darkness match.
    Steve Kowalski is the marble in my palm.  And I shall take that
    marble and squeeze it beyond its polish into a handful of dust that
    shall blow in the wind!
 
[The crowd pops mildly in some confusion.]
 
SR: The twisted visions that have haunted me ever since I was born in 
    that hell of a church under that killer priest shall manifest
    themselves in the ring.  Explosions.  Darkness.  No countouts.  No
    disqualifications.  And no one to help you.  No one to surround you.
    No one to interfere.  The battle of one man against one man, locked
    down, trapped in a private hell created by a mind destroyed by human
    selfishness!  There will be hell to pay, Dross.  Hell to pay.  And
    Kowalski just doesn't have sufficient funds!
 
[The crowd begins to pop a little more as they begin to understand the
speech.]
 
SR: And Dross, right now I invite the so-called champion Steve Kowalski 
    to walk that aisle right now into the Kingdom of the Rage!  Ring
    Wars 5: the Rage and the Fury.  The savages come together and we
    shall one day destroy each other!  Kowalski, come out here right
    now!  I command it!  Come out here right now!
 
[Rage turns towards the aisle, and beckons for Kowalski to enter.
Suddenly a voice booms over the PA:]
 
VOICE: Now ya gone an' done it!
 
[The crowd goes wild as they hear the voice of the IIWF World
Heavyweight Champion!]
 
SK: Ya jus' got my 'ttention!  An' Junior, that's a bad thing!
 
[The ever-popular "Don't Fear the Reaper" kicks in, as the fans rise for
the reigning IIWF Heavyweight Champion.  With a slight limp, he makes
his entrance.  Obviously favoring his right leg, Kowalski walks to the
head of the aisleway.  Stopping to soak in the mania that is the Furies,
he grins that nasty grin.  He lifts his hand and snaps his fingers.
Following him out, IIWF President Spreadbury.  A little perturbed at the
champion's signal, the bespectacled suit complains.  Kowalski ignores
the jibes and makes his way forward, Spreadbury in tow.]
 
TD: Ladies and gentlemen, the IIWF Champion has arrived and looks to be 
    giving us that answer!
 
[Rage looks very unimpressed with the entrance, as does Miss Monet.
Kowalski, on the other hand, seems quite happy with himself.  There
seems to be some hushed talk as the New Jersey Nightmare, climbs the
ring-steps in obvious discomfort.  After entering the ring, the crowd
laughs as Spreadbury nearly trips climbing in.  Kowalski getting a
little mic time from Dross.]
 
SK: Well, well.  Ain't this a cute little [BLEEP]in' tea party.  
 
[After eyeing Miss Monet up and down for a moment, walking around in a
circle, Kowalski continues.]
 
    But if ya need it, baby, I'll give ya some sugar!
 
[Big crowd pop as Monet looks to shoot back but is silenced by Shadoe.,
although the King of Snow Brawl mumbles something about Kowalski's limp.
The Fury shares the wealth...]
 
    Oh yeah.  This bad boy's all busted up.  Beat up, [BLEEP]ed up an'
    broken up!  But ya know what?
 
[Kowalski walks over to Shadoe, menacingly close.]
 
    But, Rage... jus' in case they didn't tell ya... I'm _still_ the
    man!
 
[Huge Fury Pop!]
 
    Everybody's taken a swing at this mug: Gaines, Meat, Mushi, Subway,
    Ol' Dog, an' ya!  I need a friggin' MASH unit to keep my ass
    together!  An' to top it all off, I got to rumble with the man they
    call Anus tonight!  That guy's meaner than hooker without a coat on
    a Detroit corner... But he'll fail!  They all fail!  Includin' ya!  
 
[Another Huge Fury Pop!]
 
    Danny... the paper.
 
[Spreadbury, still bitter at being relegated to a servant, hands over
what looks to be a contract to the Fury.  Spreadbury looks to say
something to the champ, but is cut off.]
 
    I don't care what ya have to say, Danny.  Jus' fork it over.
 
[Turning back to Shadoe.]
 
    This here is an open contract.  
 
[Tosses it at Shadoe's feet.]
 
    Ya can write any [BLEEP]-damn match ya want on there!  Ya want the
    ring to explode... go ahead!  Ya want a death match, write it down.
    I jus' don't give a [BLEEP]!
 
[Once again another Fury Pop!]
 
    My body hurts too much to argue with 'nother victim, Rage.  Ya stole
    yerself a win over me, ya didn't earn it!  Ya didn't earn my
    respect... Ya lost it!  Come R-Dubbyah-five we're gonna see who
    wants it more!  We're gonna see where it takes us!  We're gonna see
    the end of _RAGE_!
 
[POP!]
 
    So fill out the open contract ya got there.  Dot yer "I"s an' cross
    yer "T"s....  don't really matter to me.  I'm Steve Kowalski -- an'
    Hell ain't got no Fury like me!
 
[Before Shadoe can say or do anything, Kowalski rolls out of the ring
and limps back to the locker room in a cascade of cheers.  Shadoe Rage
waits for the fans' cheers to die down into a whisper.]
 
SR: Steve Kowalski, you better believe I'll fill out any stipulation I 
    want in this match.  I earned the right.  I earned the luxury.  And
    you hear all the fans cheering?
 
[The crowd pops louder as Marissa and Shadoe egg them on.]
 
SR: You hear these people cheering for you?  They love you, man!  They 
    think you're the ish!  And Kowalski, you are the _man_ in the IIWF.
    And the saying goes: to be the man you've got to beat the man!
 
[The Furies are live now.]
 
SR: Hell may have no fury like you, Kowalski, but when you step into the 
    ring with me you'll discover that there is just one thing everybody
    forgot.  I am _all_ the RAGE!  And you, Kowalski, you and your
    broken body won't be able to keep up with us.  You won't be able to
    hang with me for an hour, two hours, a week!  And sooner or later
    that battered body of yours will fail and you will...
 
CROWD: ..._DIE_ _IN_ _DARKNESS!_
 
SR: Yeah, that's the word!  
 
["The Death March" strikes up again as Shadoe Rage slips out of the
ring, holding the ropes open for Marissa.  He stalks out of the arena
and vanishes into the darkness, President Spreadbury in tow.  Tim Dross
returns to the broadcast table, seating himself next to "Soundbite"
Steve Roberts, who is wearing his leather jacket over a Ring Wars 5
t-shirt.]
 
TD: Howdy, folks, and welcome to another live and loud edition of IIWF 
    Saturday Night!  I'm Tim Dross, and beside me, as always, is my
    broadcast partner and tag team colleague, the hardest working man in
    the rasslin' business -- "Soundbite" Steve Roberts.  What an
    explosive start to the show here tonight, Steve Roberts!
 
SR: Aw, I don't know, Dross.  Ashley Judd and Chelsea Clinton in a nude 
    maple-syrup death match would be an explosive start to the show --
    hearing Shadoe Rage flapping his gums ain't explosive by my
    reckoning.
 
TD: We have our main event for Ring Wars 5, folks!  Shadoe Rage will 
    face the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion in a "Death in Darkness"
    match -- but will it be Steve "the Fury" Kowalski he faces... or
    will it be Serge Annis?  You saw at the top of the show that right
    here tonight, Steve Kowalski keeps up his punishing schedule with a
    defence against the "Epitome of Evil", the man who some feel should
    have won the title back in December in that triangle match between
    Kowalski, Annis, and then-champion Brody Thunder.  Of course, it was
    Kowalski who came out on top in that match -- largely thanks to
    Annis' hated enemy, Mad Dog Watkins, but Annis has his second chance
    tonight, and with Kowalski obviously badly banged up, he may not get
    a better opportunity.
 
SR: Annis may be a tough mofo, Dross, but Kowalski even at fifty per 
    cent strength is gonna wipe the mat with his scarred carcass.
 
TD: That remains to be seen, Steve Roberts.  It's going to be a huge 
    show tonight -- just ahead of our main event, IIWF President Daniel
    Spreadbury will give a very special interview, in which he will
    announce matches for Ring Wars V.  From what I hear, it's going to
    be a unique show, live in front of eighty thousand fans in Wembley
    Stadium, London, England, only on pay-per-view, on March 21.
 
SR: Whose stupid idea was it to go over to England, Dross?  There ain't 
    nothing good ever come out of that jumped-up island.
 
TD: I'm not sure that's entirely accurate, Steve Roberts.  Wembley 
    Stadium is one of the world's most famous arenas, site of many
    historic occasions, and the IIWF has a huge following on the other
    side of the Pond.  It's going to be quite a night, in two weeks'
    time.  But it's also going to be quite a night tonight: on top of
    those announcements concerning Ring Wars V, we're also going to see
    three of the IIWF's championships defended.  As we've just
    mentioned, Steve Kowalski will defend the World title against Serge
    Annis, and on top of that, Intercontinental Champion Duncan Macbeth
    will put his strap on the line against the "Real Deal" Luke Steele.
    Plus the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi, a man who continues to just run
    roughshod over the IIWF, defends his Cruiserweight Championship
    against Harlequin Tragedy.
 
SR: Musashi is just unhinged, Dross.  The guy's totally out of his tree.  
    I like it.  Who would have thought a Korean could be awarded the
    Soundbite Seal of Approval?
 
TD: He's Japanese, Steve.
 
SR: Whatever.
 
TD: We'll also see another match in the "Team Sychosys Funky Like A 
    Monkey World Tour", as Joe Petrow and Maurice McArthur square off in
    a Double Bullrope Match against the Machines.  This one could get
    ugly, folks.
 
SR: How so, Dross?  Is Damien Lestat gonna be wrestling?  I loves the 
    ugly guys.
 
TD: Each man shall be attached to one of his opponents by an eight-foot 
    bullrope around his wrist -- and the match will continue until one
    member of one team manages to touch all four corners of the ring in
    succession without interruption.  We'll also see Gunnar "Grizzly"
    Gaines go toe-to-toe with Jimmy "the Meatman" Steele, who attacked
    him two weeks ago with that bear trap.
 
SR: I loves the Meatguy too, Dross.  Think he'll bring me a sandwich 
    this week?
 
TD: Who knows, Steve Roberts.  Add to all that action a rematch between 
    the American Dragons and the Fabulous Ones, plus Deathbringer making
    another attempt to win back his mask as he faces Harlequin Chaos,
    and we have quite a line-up.  Before all that, though, we have the
    IIWF Saturday Night debut of Eddy "Flap" Jacks, as he goes up
    against the poster-boy of the "Wrestle Clean" campaign, Ike Sampson.
 
SR: Murderer.
 
TD: Let's get up to the ring.
 
 ________      ______
 | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|..................................................
 | || | \ v  v / | __|                 Eddy "Flap" Jacks vs. Ike Sampson
 |_||_|  \_/\_/  |_|....................................................
                                                   WRITER: Dan Kondziela
 
[Sparkplug Lee enters the ring in his not-so-splendid blue powder
tuxedo.  He raises the microphone to his lips:]
 
SL: Welcome to Sydney for IIWF Saturday Night!
 
[Crowd pops big time for the rare chance to see wrestling, but the pop
quickly dies down when Sparky thrusts his hand in the air for emphasis.]
 
SR: HA!  Even the Bruces think he's a dork!
 
[Lee mutters about "getting no respect" and continues.]
 
SL: This first match is scheduled for one fall with a regulation time 
    limit!  First, making his IIWF Saturday Night debut, from Ottawa,
    Ontario, Canada standing 6'1" and weighing in at 398lbs, EDDY "FLAP"
    JACKS!!
 
[The grizzled veteran slowly steps through the curtains.  He has a
shaved head, a long, scraggly beard, and is wearing a crimson singlet
with "RESPECT" running down the middle and "HOP" and "JACKS" in flaming
white letters down each leg.  He wears night-black boots with omega
symbols on each of them.]
 
SR: Apple Jacks?  Who?
 
TD: No, he's not Requiem, Steve.  Eddy "FLAP" Jacks is a former sumo 
    wrestler and Toughman-style boxer.  He's also the former SCRA champ
    who headed the stable known as "House of Pancakes".
 
SR: Really?  I thought the HOP was for Hop on Pop!
 
[As Eddy passes by to a moderate heel pop, the camera focuses on a
handsome Slavonic man, with blue eyes and a full beard, in the crowd.]
 
TD: That man is possible future IIWF star Josef "The Cavalier" Tadeuscz, 
    here to take in all the action.
 
SR: Yeah, well, with that nickname, I'd stay away from Lebec if I were 
    him.
 
TD: Let's not bring that up again.
 
[Josef gives a quick nod to the camera before it goes back to Sparky]
 
SL: And his opponent, from North Carolina, standing 6'6 and weighing in 
    at 304lbs, the "Big Dog"... IKE SAMPSON!
 
[HUGE face pop!]
 
SR: Oh great, we get Jumpin' Jacks and Ike Turner in the same match.  
 
[Steve whirls his fingers in the air.]
 
TD: I think this should be a great opening match-up!
 
SR: Too bad the morons don't watch to hear what you have to say.  They 
    watch to hear the Black Jesus and his sweet, silky voice.  Ain't
    that right, morons?
 
[The extremely inebriated Australian division of Lil' Soundbiters chant
"SHOOT, MATE, SHOOT!"]
 
SR: Ya gots ta love the morons, Dross.  Ya gots ta love the morons.
 
[By this time, Sampson is in the ring and is staring at Team Sychosys,
who, as usual, are at ringside and are staring blankly back at him.]
 
SR: Five hundred says we see Musashi during the match.
 
TD: Believe me, Steve, I'm not going to bet against you.
 
SR: I just can't believe they let Sampson out of Nagano.  MURDERER!  
    HEY, HOW WAS THE HOT DOG?
 
[Sampson turns to stare at Roberts with fire in his eyes, a fire we've
never seen before.  Roberts snaps his fingers and the Lil' Soundbiters
pull down their pants to reveal the words "Wrestle THIS!" on their
backsides.  Sampson shakes his head and turns to finally start the
match.]
 
TD: Finally, we're underway.
 
SR: And already I wish it were over.
 
TD: You can't appreciate a good wrestling match.
 
SR: You can't appreciate a good hairpiece.
 
[Sampson and Jacks lock up.  Immediately, Ike shows his strength by
hip-tossing the big Canadian to the mat.  Jacks gets up, they lock up
again, and again Ike hip-tosses him.  Jacks rolls to the outside and
slaps the mat in frustration.]
 
TD: Wow!  Fast start there from the "Wrestle Clean" poster-boy, and 
    Jacks is clearly frustrated.
 
SR: It's his stench.
 
TD: What?
 
SR: Ike's stench.  [sniffs] Yup, it's the smell of jobbing.
 
TD: Oh, brother.
 
SR: Hoss is here?
 
[Jacks, who has gotten back up on the apron, is telling the ref to hold
Sampson back.  Jacks gets back in the ring and locks up with Ike.  Ike
immediately overpowers his much larger opponent and clamps on a bearhug.
The ref asks Jacks if he wants to submit.  Eddy furiously shakes his
head from side to side.  Jacks tries to get out of it, but Sampson is
too strong.  Jacks eventually breaks it by headbutting the "Big Dog"
hard.  Jacks starts to hit hard with a vicious succession of European
uppercuts.  He picks Sampson up and bodyslams him!]
 
SR: Man, this guy's got a lot of meat behind him.  Hey, speaking of 
    meat, like I said before, what if this Jacks guy teams up with
    Meatguy?  MEAT!  MEAT!  MEAT!  GRAIN!  GRAIN!  GRAIN!
 
[Jacks goes to the ropes, rebounds off, and hits a BIG splash!]
 
SR: FLATTENED LIKE A FLAPJACK!
 
TD: Jacks is indeed using his almost one hundred pound weight advantage 
    to his advantage, and I wouldn't be surprised if he pulls off what
    could be called an upset win.
 
[Jacks picks Sampson up in preparation for Pancake Poison.]
 
TD: UH-OH!  This could be trouble for Sampson!  Wait!  He's trying...  
    Sampson struggling to... HE DID IT!  Sampson slipped out!
 
SR: DEEP FREEZE!
 
[Sampson underhooks Jacks' arms, and then leaps, driving Jacks' head
into the canvas with his vicious piledriver.]

TD: And he nails it!  This one could be all over already!
 
SR: What did I tell you, Dross?  Here comes the Siberian guy with his 
    croutons of tamagotchi!
 
TD: I'm not even going to bother.
 
[It is indeed "The Enigma" Takezo Musashi, with his "red pentacle"
make-up and black karate pants, coming out to an absolutely
rafter-shaking heel pop!  Sampson sees him, and with a mad dash of fury,
runs out to greet him with a shoulderblock.]
 
TD: Musashi and Sampson with a wild brawl in the aisleway!  And here 
    comes Jacks!  Jacks nails big Ike with an axehandle!
 
[Jacks wastes no time in battering Sampson from behind, Musashi backing
away and heading over to the timekeeper's table, apparently content that
he has distracted Sampson.  Jacks hoists up Sampson... and bodyslams him
to the concrete!  Big heel pop!  Jacks again lifts Sampson -- and dumps
him over backwards with a side suplex!  Sampson's head bounces off the
ringside matting, and he lies, chest heaving, on the arena floor.]
 
TD: Jacks has just been devastating on the outside -- and finally he 
    rolls Sampson back in the ring!
 
[Musashi goes over to the timekeeper's table, staring icicles at the
timekeeper.  Fearing the worst, the timekeeper runs for higher ground.
Musashi picks up the now empty chair with a wicked smile on his face,
and, while Jacks occupies the ref, waylays the recovering Sampson with
it!  Musashi prepares to hit Sampson again when the fans go haywire.]
 
TD: Hold it!  Here comes... here comes Richard "Moxy" Blue!  Moxy to the 
    rescue!
 
SR: Hot damn, Dross!  Pepto Bismol Boy just has to come out and ruin my 
    fun!
 
[Blue comes launching down the aisle like a rocket, leaps up, and
dropkicks the chair into Musashi's face.  Musashi doesn't go down, as
he's more stunned than hurt!  Musashi picks Moxy up and rams him into
the steel ringpost before picking up the chair again and wailing away at
Blue with it.]
 
SR: And here comes Sycho Joe and 4M!
 
TD: Team Sychosys, who seem to have formed a rebel alliance with "The 
    Enigma", have jumped over the rails and are helping Musashi -- who
    doesn't really seem to need the assistance -- in his beating of poor
    Moxy!
 
SR: Poor Moxy?  Hey, he stuck his nose in this "evil empire"'s business, 
    and now he's paying for it!
 
TD: None of these three are even in the match!
 
SR: Ain't it great?!
 
[Petrow and McArthur fight alongside Musashi as they continue to beat
Moxy.  Musashi hoists the diminutive cruiser up and then dumps him down
on the steel ringsteps, before Petrow drops an elbow down across Moxy's
throat, sandwiching his head between hard bone and unforgiving steel.
McArthur, wide-eyed, grabs the steel chair and waves it randomly,
apparently challenging anybody to come and take him on.  Meanwhile, in
the ring, Jacks has Sampson in a Dragon Sleeper, and Sampson appears to
be fading -- but the referee is more concerned with the action on the
outside, and pays no heed as Jacks alters his grip and begins choking
Sampson out!]
 
TD: Jacks is choking Sampson in there -- we need to establish some 
    control here!  Wait, here comes someone else!  Who is it?  I can't
    see!  The crowd's in th....  IT'S "THE HEATSEEKER" DEREK MOTA!  Here
    comes Derek Mota!
 
SR: [standing up and yelling to the back] Hey, anybody else wanna 
    interrupt us?  Melody?  Liana?  Kari Wuhrer?
 
TD: Would you sit down?!  Mota, who needs a shave more than you did a 
    couple of weeks ago, walking slowly out.  Come on, your partner's in
    trouble!
 
[Mota just glares at Dross as he walks by in no particular rush,
approaching McArthur, who is still clutching the chair.  Maurice backs
away slowly, but is unable to escape being booted in the gut by Mota,
who grabs the chair and waffles McArthur over the head with it!  Huge
pop!  Mota admires the head-shaped dent in the chair impassively, and
continues to walk slowly around to the corner where Musashi and Petrow
still wail away at Mota.  Mota swings the chair and catches Musashi
square across the back, knocking him to the floor.  Petrow now sees that
his partner has been floored, and rushes over to tend to him, allowing
the Sychopaths to help lift McArthur over the railing and back into the
crowd.]
 
TD: Team Sychosys returning to the stands -- and Musashi now picking 
    himself up.  Mota swings the chair again... but Musashi is backing
    away.  Mota, finally, forcing these three stooges to go back to the
    lockers.
 
[Musashi does indeed hightail it out of Dodge.  Mota irritably drags the
semi-conscious Richard "Moxy" Blue away from the ring and back up the
aisle, before Moxy totally stops.  Mota stops to pick up Blue and shoves
him all the way back.]
 
TD: Finally, we can get back to the match.  Jacks looks to be in 
    control.  I only wish I knew what they were doing the whole time we
    were being interrupted.
 
SR: Have you seen Sampson move?  I haven't.  There's your answer.
 
[Jacks picks Ike up and throws him to the outside.  "Flap" moves towards
an announcing table where two pudgy men are speaking an unfamiliar Latin
language.]
 
TD: That's the Brazilian announcing team: Hernando de Leon and Victor 
    Cortes!  He's picking up their satellite wires!
 
SR: Looks like it's time to change the channel in Brazil!
 
[BBBBBZZZZZZZZTTTTTT!]
 
SR: Whoo-hoo!  No more Brazilians!  That's what ya get for disturbing my 
    vacation in Florida, ya scumbags!
 
TD: Steve Roberts!
 
[Jacks tightly wraps the cord around Sampson's neck.  He pulls and
pulls... and pulls... and pulls... BUT SAMPSON STARTS SHAKING!]
 
TD: Sampson is not feeling choked at all!  LOOK AT THIS!  
 
[Sampson yells like an enraged wolf and SNAPS the cord from his neck!!!]
 
TD: Sampson is just... he's just shaking!  He has snapped!  Ike Sampson 
    has snapped!
 
SR: Whoa, hot stuff, Dross!  I didn't know he had it in him!
 
[Jacks backs off, but to no avail.  Sampson walks over and boots him in
the stomach -- before hoisting him up over his head, and military
pressing the near four hundred pounds Jacks over his head!] 
 
TD: Oh my!  What incredible strength from Ike Sampson!  Somebody's gotta 
    stop him!
 
SR: Hell, no!  I like this side of Sampson!
 
[Sampson drops Jacks into a stomachbuster!  Sampson picks him up...
underhooks the arms... and drives him down, head-first, into the
concrete!]
 
TD: DEEP FREEZE ON THE FLOOR!
 
SR: Time for frozen flapjacks, baby dolls!
 
[Sampson drags Jacks back to his feet, and rolls him back into the ring
under the bottom rope.  Sampson follows him in, and makes the cover: 
1 - 2...]
 
SR: Hey, Dross -- foot on the ropes!
 
[...3!  DING!  DING!  DING!]
 
TD: I believe you're right.  Jacks may have had his foot on the ropes.
 
[A split-screen replay does indeed show that Jacks managed to get his
left foot over the bottom rope on the count of two.  Cut back to live
action as Sparkplug Lee makes his announcement:]
 
SL: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner, as the result of a 
    pinfall: Ike Sampson!
 
SR: NO WAY!  Jacks was robbed!
 
TD: Jacks may want to take this to the Special Concerns Committee.
 
[Sampson makes his way to the back, seemingly having calmed down,
victorious.  Jacks berates the ref for missing the foot in the ropes,
and then lashes out with a hard right hand punch, knocking the official
to the mat!  Huge pop as Jacks storms out of the ring and heads back to
the locker room.  Cut back to the broadcast table at ringside.]
 
TD: What a way to open the night!  You can bet we haven't heard the last 
    from everybody involved in this match!  And you can bet Sampson
    hasn't heard the last of Eddy Jacks, who may well have a hefty fine
    to pay after laying out that referee.  But I can understand his
    frustration -- and I predict great things for this big man.
 
SR: Yeah, you said the same thing for Jericho and Battalion -- and now 
    look where they are!  
 
TD: And now, we have what looks to an amazing tag team match up next.
 
SR: That's right, Dross.  We've got the Fa[bleep]ot-ass Ones against the 
    American Drag Queens.  Four gay guys ready to, ahem, [quote signs
    with fingers] "get it on." No wonder you can't wait, Timmy.
 
TD: Yeah... I know you're just kidding, Steve Roberts.  At any rate, 
    we're ready to go, so let's go to Sparkplug for the introductions.
 
 ________      ______
 | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|..................................................
 | || | \ v  v / | __|                American Dragons vs. Fabulous Ones
 |_||_|  \_/\_/  |_|....................................................
                                                       WRITER: Curt Kipp
 
[Sparkplug steps into the ring with the microphone...]
 
SL: This next contest will be a tag team encounter, scheduled for one 
    fall.  Introducing first...
 
["High Heels in Motion" by Ted Nugent greets the incredibly beautiful
Ms. Miki as she walks out to a huge ovation from the crowd.  She wearing
a form fitted, sheer, see-through, blue-tinted, body sleeve.  The sleeve
hugs her neck and goes down to the floor.  Underneath she has on a blue
bikini, and blue high heels.  She enters the ring and Sparkplug Lee,
with jaw wide open, hands her the microphone.]
 
MM: Close your mouth honey, that isn't attractive.
 
[The crowd lets the enamoured Sparkplug have it.]
 
MM: Konbanwa, Sydney!  [Huge cheer] I'm Ms. Miki, and I'm sure you know 
    why I'm here.  [Another huge cheer.] That's right, I'm here to bring
    out the world's greatest tag team, and every woman's favourite team.
 
[The camera catches a few of the women in the crowd holding up their
Fabulous Ones calendar.  Most of them have the page open to the Fabs
posing.  Some are making fun of the Peterson kissing Oliver's ass, Mad
Magazine style back page.]
 
MM: Well, I see some of you have the number one selling piece of 
    merchandise the IIWF has today.  It'll keep you happy for eighteen
    incredible months.  But enough of that for now, lets get them out
    here.  They are the fantasy of every woman's ultimate ecstasy of
    pleasure.  In geneticist circles they talk of the perfect human
    beings being these two men.  They are without a doubt everything a
    man wants to be, and everything a woman wants to be with.  Here are
    "The Universal Heartthrob" Agito Nakajima and "Sweet" Sho Satsuma,
    the FABULOUS ONES!
 
[The lights go out as "Kiss of Death" by Dokken plays to the packed
crowd.  The curtains to the entrance way fly open to allow twelve red
laser beams to shoot out into the air.  They shine just above the ring
lights.  They slowly start to form letters...F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S O-N-E-S.
The words starts to spin around in a circle, faster and faster until
they're merely a red blur.  Then, suddenly the blur explodes at the same
time and explosion rocks the crowd.  The entrance way is now covered in
smoke, the lasers still shining through.  Agito and Sho step in front of
the lasers.  With the lighting the way it is, their shadows float
through the smoke.
 
As they step out of the smoke the lights come back on.  Agito is wearing
his black silk oriental style robe, while Sho is sporting his black
leather tuxedo jacket with tails, and tassels that run down the sleeves.
His pants are red with a black stripe that runs down the sides.  In the
stripe are the words "Sweet" Sho.  He wears black boots with the word
"Fabs" on them.  Agito continues to walk towards the ring while Sho
stops and spins around and soaks in the cheering crowd.  He stops
spinning and starts to pose for pictures from the fans.  Mr. Tsuburaya
walks out from backstage wearing a black Armani original.  As he gets to
Sho they both start walking towards the ring.
 
Along the way Sho stops to sign a few of the fans calendars.  In the
ring Agito is teasing the female attendees.  He opens one side of the
robe to show half of his perfect six pack and pecs, just to close it,
then open the other side.  He walks around to all the side of the ring
before sliding it off.  Flashbulbs come from all over the arena.  Agito
is wearing black with red tiger stripe pants.  On the butt the initials
"UH" are seen, which stands for "Universal Heartthrob".  He has on red
boots with the word "Fabs" on them.  At this point Sho has entered the
ring, taken off his jacket and joined Agito in the posing.  The music
fades out.  Ms. Miki climbs out of the ring and is talking with Mr.
Tsuburaya, as the Fabs get ready for their match up.]
 
SL: And their opponents...
 
["American Nightmare" by White Zombie plays over the loudspeakers as the
crowd lets out a cheer.]
 
SL: They hail from San Francisco, California, and Ft. Carswell, Texas... 
    weighing in at a combined 556 pounds... here are Joe Scalercio...
    Bob Ivey... the American Dragons!
 
[The two men step through the entrance curtain.  Scalercio is Italian,
with short black hair, and is wearing black leg tights with a green
dragon breathing fire down the left leg.  The tanned, blond Ivey is
wearing white leg tights with a red dragon on them, along with a white
jacket with a red dragon on the back.
 
The duo exchange high fives with several fans on their way down to the
ring.  Then, with wary eyes on Miki and the Fabulous Ones, they enter
the ring.  Miki leaves the ring so she can patrol the outside.]
 
SR: Yep, they're the American Drag Queens all right... one of them's 
    even from San Francisco!
 
[Ding! Ding! Ding!]
 
TD: We start off with Bob Ivey in the ring for the American Dragons, and 
    The man who calls himself the "Universal Heartthrob," Agito
    Nakajima, in for the Fabs.
 
[Nakajima walks into the ring, while Ivey dashes at him.  Soon a
full-scale brawl erupts between the two men, with fists flying all over
the place.]
 
TD: These two teams don't appear to like each other in the slightest, 
    Steve Roberts.
 
SR: Indeed not, as Nakajima finally slaps on the first technical move of 
    this match by ducking a right hook, doing a go-behind, and landing a
    belly-to-back suplex on Ivey.  He makes the tag to Sho Satsuma, the
    "Sweet" one...
 
[Satsuma enters the ring.  Ivey runs at him, but Satsuma ducks a
clothesline.  He turns around and picks up Ivey in a bodyslam.  He
turns, does a Fargo Strut across the ring, and finishes it off with a
double middle finger in the face of Joe Scalercio.  Ms. Miki yells at
Dross at ringside.]
 
MM: [audible over Dross's mic] That's the Double Eye!
 
TD: Scalercio wants in, but he's going to have to make a tag to Bob 
    Ivey, but Ivey was just dumped on his back by Sho Satsuma.  Satsuma
    turns around to goad Scalercio, who gets up... and he charges
    Satsuma again!  Satsuma with a hip toss, and Scalercio is down!
    Satsuma climbs the ropes and sits on the turnbuckle.
 
SR: He's yawning and in a thinker's pose, for Chrissakes.  That's pretty 
    insulting.  I like it.
 
TD: I don't think Scalercio much cares for it, either, as he ignores the 
    chance to tag Ivey in, and instead he charges Satsuma... 
 
[Satsuma leaps over the charging Scalercio, Scalercio hits the
turnbuckle head on, Scalercio shakes it off and turns around, and
Satsuma nails him in the face with a "Gojira Blast" superkick.]
 
TD: So far, the Fabulous Ones playing -- and winning -- the mind games 
    with the American Dragons.  Satsuma now picks up Scalercio by the
    hair...
 
[We watch on the big screen the audience sees.  Satsuma is beginning to
set up Scalercio for a snap suplex.  Suddenly, the big-screen images of
the fight at hand are interrupted with the appearance of Kuyler Greyson,
the manager of the Natural Predators, from somewhere backstage.]
 
KG: Hello Australia!  Well, right now, you're probably thinking to 
    yourself that the Fabulous Ones are the dullest thing to hit your
    fine country since sliced bread first went mouldy... overblown,
    egotistical, and obnoxious, the only tag team in the Double Eye who
    tries to stay in the public eye more than the Spice Girls... and
    with half the talent!
 
[laughter pop!]
 
KG: Seeing as how they've already offered a calendar for sale... I 
    thought perhaps that "Fabmania" could stand a little more of a
    boost... so here it is, the new Fabulous Ones calendar!
 
[holds up a calendar showing shot after shot of the Fabs being thrown
around, beaten on, and all together humiliated:]
 
    Order now and get this free "Fabulous Ones: Steve Roberts is right
    about them" shirt and the wind-up Sho figure!  Take a look!
 
[shows a windup toy that does the Nagoya strut, turns, and falls on its
back.]
 
    WHAT DO YOU SAY AUSTRALIA?  Face it, Fabs....You're long due for
    Natural Selection to weed you out.  Sayonara to you and your geisha
    girl valet.
 
[Fade out.]
 
TD: OH MY!  Satsuma didn't like that at all and Scalercio is taking 
    advantage!  Dropkick to the back!  He sets Satsuma back up... Dragon
    Sweep!
 
[Scalercio picks Satsuma back up, hooks on a double underhook, and
applies the Cherry Bomb, his version of a sit-down tiger bomb.
Scalercio then stands, still holding the legs of Satsuma, and starts to
turn him over into a Boston Crab...]
 
TD: Scalercio attempting the Boston Crab here, Satsuma trying to fight 
    it... and it's over!  He has it hooked on good!
 
SR: The Dragons have taken a lot of punishment in this match, but the 
    Fabs have not.  I don't know if Sho Satsuma is quite ripe for the
    picking here.
 
TD: Scalercio, I think, knows that... he's using that Boston Crab to 
    drag the "Sweet" one over to his own corner... and he makes the tag
    with Bob Ivey!
 
[Ivey enters the ring, while Scalercio holds Satsuma in place, and does
a standing legdrop on the back of Nakajima's head.  Scalercio releases
Satsuma and leaves the ring to beat the five-count.  He administers some
boots to the head of Satsuma, and then stands him up.  He Irish-whips
the "Sweet" one into the ropes, and catches him on the rebound...]
 
TD: Power slam by Bob Ivey!  Oh my!  The Dragons doing a _fabulous_ job 
    of wearing down Sho Satsuma and cutting the ring in half.  Classic
    tag team strategy.  
 
[Ivey stands up Satsuma.  He tucks his own neck under Satsuma's armpit
and elevates him with a side suplex, delivered with such impact that
both men bounce off the mat.  Ivey is back to his feet... Satsuma is
back to his feet... Satsuma stumbles in a very poor rendition of the
Fargo Strut... Satsuma falls on his face, to the delight of the crowd.
Ivey picks up the fallen Satsuma by the hair and throws him to the
ropes... Satsuma rebounds... Ivey in position for a back body drop...]
 
TD: And Satsuma with a baseball slide through the legs of Ivey!  He 
    takes out both of Ivey's legs in the process -- and Ivey falls face
    first into the canvas!  Oh my!  
 
[Satsuma stands up, does a much more impressive-looking rendition of the
Fargo Strut this time, and then points to his own head in an "I'm
smarter than you are" gesture.  He tags in Agito Nakajima...]
 
TD: And here comes "The Universal Heartthrob," Agito Nakajima.  Both men 
    hook up Ivey for a double suplex... they have him vertically...
 
SR: Letting all that blood rush to Ivey's head while he's upside down.  
    Of course, that's bad for Ivey.  He's got a puny little shot glass
    of a skull, and when you try to cram blood in there with what little
    brain he has, you're gonna spill some...
 
TD: Oh my!  They just dropped Ivey right on his head with a double 
    brainbuster!  What impact!  Joe Scalercio is beside himself in the
    corner, but he can't come in.  The referee is over to admonish him.
 
[Despite the opportunity to cheat here, "Sweet" Sho Satsuma just leaves
the ring and lets Nakajima take over.  Nakajima picks up Ivey by the
hair, throws him to the ropes, catches him on the rebound... ]
 
TD: REVERSAL!  Ivey with the DDT hooked on... no!  Nakajima shrugs it 
    off!  Ivey whips Nakajima to the ropes, Nakajima reverses it, Ivey
    off the ropes, and Nakajima picks him up in a gorilla press!  It's
    all happening faster than I can call it!
 
SR: That's true of even a slow-paced sport such as baseball, Dross, 
    given your tangled-tongue abilities.  Why not relax and just let The
    Bite call all of the action?
 
TD: Nakajima drops Ivey over the top rope to the floor outside!  OUCH!  
    And now Nakajima tags in Sho Satsuma!
 
[Sho runs across the ring, off the ropes, and back towards Nakajima, who
is still in the ring.  Sho leaps over Nakajima, who gives him an added
push under the soles of his boots, and he flies over the rope to the
outside... ]
 
TD: Oh my!  Sho lands on Ivey on the outside!  What impact!  Both men 
    down!  
 
SR: That's a sort of variant of the Kamikaze Slam!  That's their move!
 
TD: Yes, but he can't pin Ivey on the outside.  And Joe Scalercio has 
    had enough!  He dashes across the ring and flies into Nakajima with
    a forearm smash!  Nakajima, caught off guard, is down, slumped over
    the ropes!  Scalercio to the outside!  A stomp to the head of Sho
    Satsuma!  And another!  And another!  
 
[Scalercio picks up Satsuma and rolls him into the ring -- and is
greeted by the recovered Nakajima with a punch to the face.  Nakajima
picks up Scalercio in a bear hug, and a weary Sho Satsuma dashes across
the ring, hits the ropes, rebounds, and executes a clothesline on
Scalercio while he is still in the grasp of Nakajima.]
 
TD: Decapitation!
 
SR: Time for a pin attempt.  Who's the legal man?
 
TD: I don't know.  But look out!  Here come the Natural Predators!  
    Bear!  Grey Phoenix!  They're the former IIWF Tag Team Champions,
    they're both on their way down to ringside... 
 
SR: That's Bare Bottom and Gay Phoenix.  And for a couple of 
    exceptionally large gay guys, they look really pissed off.
 
TD: Sho with a _topé suicida_!
 
SR: Speak English, please.  No habla Espanol.
 
TD: SUICIDE DIVE!  He's caught by Bear!  Bear juggles Satsuma into a 
    piledriver position -- and KODIAK DRIVE!  KODIAK DRIVE!  Right down,
    face first, onto the floor!  As a famous wrestler once said, that
    could leave a mark!
 
SR: On Satsuma?  Or on the floor?
 
TD: Here comes Nakajima to the outside!  Here comes Scalercio!  Bob Ivey 
    is out there having recovered!  The Predators and the Dragons are
    doing a NUMBER on the Fabulous Ones!
 
SR: Here comes the Night Patrol...
 
TD: Sgt. Rey Garcia!  Lt. Jack Blazer!  They're both running down to 
    assist the Fabulous Ones!  We've got a pier six brawl down at
    ringside!
 
SR: Pier six?  But we're in the Opera House, Dross.  The pier is 
    outside.  You go out the doors marked "exit," turn left, go down a
    flight of steps, turn again at this statue with the bird crap on
    it...
 
TD: NEVER MIND THAT!  Look at the top of the ramp.  The Machines are 
    looking on... but they're not coming down to join in.
 
SR: That's right.  Paul Wang and Simon O'Kneel-Over.  They're just 
    another couple of...
 
TD: Don't say it.
 
[Ding ding ding ding ding!]
 
TD: Well, I think the referee has counted everyone out in this one... 
    but they don't care.  The Predators, Dragons, Night Patrol and
    Fabulous Ones, all still at each others' throats!
 
SR: It looks like it's time for... the Jobber Justice Squad!  And that 
    means, it's time for the man... the myth...
 
TD: ...the human beached whale...
 
SR: ...THE SMOOOOOOTH!
 
[The JJS comes rushing down to ringside in an attempt to break things
up.  Meanwhile, Sparkplug tries to find a path to the ring that doesn't
involve going past any angry wrestlers, so that he can make the official
announcement.  This takes him a while, but finally, he gets in the
ring.]
 
SL: Ladies and gentlemen... this match has been declared a double 
    countout!
 
[After many attempts, all four teams are forced back to the locker room
by the Jobber Justice Squad, the huge Mexican sensation known as the
Smooth waving to the crowd before disappearing behind the curtain.  Cut
back to the broadcast table at ringside.]
 
TD: Total chaos reigning here tonight, Steve Roberts, as the tag team 
    scene erupts!
 
SR: I'm sorry, Dross, I think I must have dozed off.  What's next?
 
TD: Next up, Deathbringer makes another effort to regain the mask stolen 
    from him by Harlequin Tragedy some weeks ago.  This week, he must go
    through Tragedy's kid brother, Chaos, to try and get his hands on
    that mask.  Let's get up to the ring!
 
 ________      ______
 | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|..................................................
 | || | \ v  v / | __|                  Deathbringer vs. Harlequin Chaos
 |_||_|  \_/\_/  |_|....................................................
                                                      WRITER: Mike Beeby
 
[Sparkplug Lee steps into the ring, wearing a ridiculous hat strung with
corks.]
 
SL: Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for one 
    fall.  Introducing first, accompanied by Harlequin Melody, from
    Elgin, Illinois, weighing in at 344 pounds... HARLEQUIN CHAOS!
 
["Mathematics of Chaos" by Killing Joke starts up to wild pops from the
crowd, treated for the first time to an appearance from the sultans of
stage.  Harlequins Melody and Chaos appear in the entranceway without
the others, and walk down the aisle as gleeful(or in the case of Chaos,
total insanity) as can be.  Chaos steps over the top rope while Melody
walks to the announce position, and crawls right into the lap of the
Soundbite.]
 
SR: Business just picked up, Dross.
 
TD: I'll bet it has.
 
MELODY: [squealing] Hi Steve!
 
[The lights in the arena darken to nothing, as "Scythe, Rage And Rose"
by Dark Tranquillity starts to waft over the arena PA system.  The crowd
intensifies in volume as Deathbringer makes his entrance.]
 
SL: And his opponent... From the Dark Side, weighing in at 324 pounds, 
    here is the Dark Destroyer... DEATHBRINGER!
 
[The lights rise slightly, and we can see Deathbringer's form.  He wears
the cowl over his head and carries the scythe in his hands, a pair of
piercing red eyes slightly visible underneath the hood.  Deathbringer
sets the scythe down at ringside and grabs the top rope from the floor,
stepping onto the apron.]
 
M: Ooh, this is a scary entrance Steve, hold me closer.
 
SR: You don't have to ask me twice, babe.  Have I ever shown you my asai 
    moonsault?
 
M: Oooooooooooooooh!
 
TD: Oh boy...
 
[Chaos and Deathbringer stare at each other from across the ring, and as
the bell rings, they each come to the middle to lock up.  Deathbringer
gets the advantage thanks to the slight difference in height, and
'Bringer forces Chaos down towards the mat in a test of strength.  Chaos
manages to power back to his feet but is unable to repeat the
performance on his opponent, instead releasing and trying for a quick
forearm shot.  Deathbringer catches his arm and throws him into the
ropes, then clotheslines Chaos, knocking him backwards but not down.
'Bringer tosses him in again, but Chaos leaves his feet and hits the top
rope, then does an impressive backflip somersault over Deathbringer's
head.]
 
TD: Wow!  What an amazing move from one of the larger competitors here 
    in the Double Eye!  It would seem that Chaos has no fears whatsoever
    in re-injuring that knee of his.
 
SR: It also seems like Melody here has no fears in pleasing her Poppa 
    Soundbite.  Right Mel?
 
[Melody just starts to giggle.  Back in the ring, Chaos grabs
Deathbringer around the waist and lifts him back with a belly-to-back
suplex, sending the Dark Destroyer to the mat.  Deathbringer rises, and
Chaos greets him with a kneelift that staggers the near seven footer.
The Harlequin pounds on Deathbringer's back with glancing blows, but
they don't seem to have any effect on 'Bringer.  Suddenly, Deathbringer
wheels around and catches Chaos with a boot to the gut, and delivers a
snap DDT to the mat.  Chaos lays on the mat barely moving, and
Deathbringer rebounds off the ropes with a crushing legdrop, then hooks
the leg for a cover.  The referee stops the count when Chaos drapes a
leg across the ropes, and 'Bringer pulls him right back to his feet, not
allowing time for recovery.  A whip to the ropes again gives Chaos his
chance, and he springs into the ropes, then straight backwards with
cat-like agility into a reverse elbowsmash that staggers the Dark
Destroyer.]
 
TD: Chaos with another incredibly agile move, he's proving the fans that 
    said he was nothing more than a brawler wrong tonight!  Chaos is
    setting up for a jacknife powerbomb, and he delivers it with ease!
 
SR: Tell me Miss Melody, do you like raspberry sauce?
 
M: Sinfully so, Steve.  Hold me closer.
 
[Returning to the action _inside_ the ring, Chaos stands over
Deathbringer's form and delivers a kick to the side of his face.  He
yanks 'Bringer back up and holds him in a front facelock, but
Deathbringer forces Chaos back into the corner and delivers a series of
quick shoulders into the groin area, then takes the legs of Chaos and
pulls him out of the corner by them.  Deathbringer lifts the legs of
Chaos into the air and drives a knee into the meat of Chaos' thigh,
causing the Harlequin to shake with pain.  Chaos uses the ropes to
return to his feet and is met with a chokelift, Deathbringer raising him
up for the chokeslam.]
 
M: Chaos, no!  This is too scary!  Steve, hold me.
 
SR: Sure thing, Mel.
 
TD: Chaos scissors the top rope with his legs to keep himself from 
    taking the chokeslam, and he's fighting his way out!  Springboard
    armdrag takedown!  What a move!
 
[Deathbringer is down, breathing heavy, and Chaos gets to his feet, with
no more than a slight limp now.  Chaos runs into the ropes and comes
back with a somersault legdrop onto the Dark Destroyer, keeping him on
the mat.  A two count before the count is interrupted with a kickout,
and Chaos gets to his feet, calling on Deathbringer.  'Bringer rises
slowly and cautiously, only to be caught with a dropkick to the chest,
knocking him into the corner.  Chaos delivers a series of reverse
knife-edge chops and whips Deathbringer across the ring into the
opposite corner, then charges in for a Stinger splash.  Deathbringer
catches him first and dumps him out of the ring to the floor, but as he
does, the crowd begins to murmur excitedly as a figure walks forth from
the locker room.]
 
TD: Would you look at that, it's that clown again!  He's coming out with 
    one of those hammers, and Deathbringer is absolutely transfixed on
    him!
 
SR: Hey, if Deathboy can't keep his mind on the match, he deserves to 
    lose.
 
M: This is _too_ scary, Steve!  Hold...
 
TD: ...you closer, we get it, Melody.
 
[Melody sticks her tongue out at Dross as Deathbringer steps towards the
ropes.  But as he moves to exit the ring, the videoscreen flickers to
life, and the image of the Blind Guardian appears.  The Blind Guardian
is sitting in the mortuary, behind the old wooden table.  On top of the
table stands a monitor, on which the bearded man is looking right now:]
 
BG: Well, got ya... Hold it right there, boy... I've been watching you 
    for the last couple of days and... well, you make me sick...
 
[The clown stops finally, and turns around to watch the screen.  Instead
of watching though, the clown breaks out into laughter, shaking with
fits of laughter while the Deathbringer begins to stalk down the aisle,
towards the Blind Guardian, who speaks again.]
 
BG: But you know, some problems are solved at a time when no one expects 
    it... and... hey, I wouldn't want to wear your boots right now...
 
[Deathbringer continues to move towards the clown and stands behind him,
silently.]
 
BG: Okay, now that I warned you, just continue to walk down to the 
    ring...
 
[The Blind Guardian begins to laugh as the scene fades.  The clown
finishes laughing, and turns around, right into the grip of the
Deathbringer.  A chokeslam sets him down in the middle of the aisle, but
as 'Bringer attempts to rip the mask off of the clown, a poke to the
eyes allows him to scamper away from the grasp of the Dark Destroyer.  A
light tap with the hammer lets the clown get away entirely, but
Deathbringer returns to the ring in just enough time to avoid the
countout.]
 
TD: Another shocking appearance by that mysterious clown, and the 
    situation just gets more confusing.
 
SR: I find the situation pleasing, actually.  What do you think Melody?
 
M: Happy happy happy... hold me closer...
 
[Chaos waits for Deathbringer and lays in a few knees to the side of
'Bringer, and then pulls him into the middle of the ring for his figure
four leglock.  Chaos applies it, but Deathbringer sits up and grabs
Chaos by the throat, untangling himself and rising at the same time.  A
chokeslam for Chaos leaves him in the middle of the ring, but Chaos
rises quickly and is felled a second time, this time with a flying
clothesline.  Deathbringer picks Chaos up for the Burial, and moves to
the corner.  But as he climbs the ropes, Chaos reaches out and gets
Deathbringer in a head vice and hoists him into the air, pulling away
from the corner into open-ring.]
 
TD: The Sanitybreaker!  Chaos has Deathbringer in the Sanitybreaker!
 
M: Yay!  Yippee yay!
 
[Just as Chaos latches the Sanitybreaker on, Deathbringer starts to
power out.  He forces his opponent's hand off his head, and then
delivers a backwards headbutt that strikes Chaos in the face.
Deathbringer's feet hit the mat and he again goes for the Burial,
scooping Chaos up and nailing it.  But just as he drapes an arm over
Chaos, reinforcements hit the ring.]
 
TD: It's Terror and Tragedy!  The Harlequins have arrived!
 
M: Whee!
 
[Melody hops out of the Soundbite's lap, giving him a crestfallen look.
The Harlequins converge on the ring and break the count, giving
Deathbringer a disqualification win.  Tragedy pulls Deathbringer up by
the cowl and holds his arms behind his back while Terror delivers a
roundhouse right to the jaw.  After a minute or so of double and
triple-teaming, Deathbringer fights to his feet and clears the ring of
the male Harlequins while Comedy and Melody leave on their own accord.
The Harlequins five-pack walk up the aisle, Tragedy taunting
Deathbringer with his mask as they leave.  Deathbringer follows at a
slower pace to the roar of the crowd.  Cut back to the broadcast table
at ringside.] 
 
TD: Well, Deathbringer comes out with the disqualification victory -- 
    but yet again the Harlequins are one step ahead of the Dark
    Destroyer.  'Bringer has still not been able to regain that mask...
 
SR: And that damned Melody always leaves just when it was getting 
    interesting, Dross.
 
TD: Well, I have a feeling that she may well be back, Steve Roberts -- 
    because if Harlequin Tragedy can shake off Deathbringer's pursuit,
    he's scheduled up next to wrestle the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi in
    Cruiserweight Championship action!  Let's get back up to the ring!
 
 ________      ______
 | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|..................................................
 | || | \ v  v / | __|            IIWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH:
 |_||_|  \_/\_/  |_|       "Enigma" Takezo Musashi vs. Harlequin Tragedy
 .......................................................................
                                                   WRITER: Chris O'Brien
 
[Sparkplug steps through the ropes, and walks to the centre of the
ring... or tries to, as his foot gets tangled up, and he falls flat on
his face.  Blushing, he stands back up and makes it to the centre
without further mishap]
 
SL: Ladies and gentlemen, the following match is set for one fall, and 
    it's for the IIWF Cruiserweight championship!
 
TD: Fans, I am a little worried about this next match.  We all saw what 
    happened in Puerto Rico two weeks ago involving the Enigma... and
    now the chaotic one is going up against the equally strange Tragedy!  
 
SR: Hey, if we end up with another riot on our hands, cool!  I'll use 
    the opportunity to grab a hold of that Mexican...
 
TD: Japanese.
 
SR: ...puzzle, slap him around a few times, then throw Comedy and Melody 
    over my broad shoulders, make my way out of the building, with the
    morons protecting me, of course, and go back to the hotel, where the
    Soundbite will proceed to perform the horizontal bop with them in
    such a way that will give new meaning to the phrase "Three Way
    Dance".
 
TD: Are you done?
 
SR: Just getting warmed up, Dross.
 
SL: Introducing first... he accompanied to the ring by the always lovely 
    Harlequin Comedy!  From Sleepy Hollow, Illinois, weighing 220
    pounds... here is HARLEQUIN TRAGEDY!
 
[The opening "ooh"s of "#1 Crush" by Garbage play over the PA, and a red
heart on the Jumbotron beats in time with the drums as Comedy steps out,
Happy Hammer slung over her shoulder, and her man steps out behind her,
steel mask on, hands at his sides.  Comedy waves at the fans as the two
make their way down the aisle.  Tragedy stops when he notices Joe
Petrow, who's holding a "WHO THE HELL IS CHRIS MYERS?" sign in his
hands.  A shrug of the shoulders later, Tragedy steps up the steps.]
 
TD: What is sure to be a good match... although it may get out of 
    hand...
 
SR: If we see blood, I'll be a happy man.  And since the Korean is 
    wrestling...
 
TD: Happy?
 
SR: Let me put it this way... I'll need a towel and cigarette 
    afterwards.
 
[Tragedy takes off his steel mask... to reveal Deathbringer's.  Tragedy
removes this one also, to show that his face is painted with the
pentagrams that adorn the face of one Takezo Musashi.  The Deathbringer
mask goes on the ringpost.]
 
SL: And his opponent... from Kobe, Japan... weighing 210 pounds, he is 
    the current IIWF Cruiserweight Champion... here is THE "ENIGMA"
    TAKEZO MUSASHI!
 
[The chaotic music of the "Enigma" plays as he makes his way down to the
ring, face painted, IIWF Cruiserweight belt slung over his shoulder.  He
makes his way to the ring, calmly, ignoring the boos of the fans raining
down upon him.  Musashi walks up the steps and vaults over the ropes
into the ring, staring right at Tragedy.]
 
TD: These two men have met before... about a year ago, I believe.  But 
    now they are totally different.
 
SR: Hey, as long as there's a possibility of blood...
 
TD: I think we get that idea, Steve.
 
SR: Just driving the point home, Dross.  I did that once.
 
TD: And how did it turn out for you?
 
SR: Best weekend of my life.
 
[Ref Dave D'Amato pats down both wrestlers and calls for the bell.  Both
men lock up, with the bigger Tragedy forcing Musashi to the corner.
D'Amato calls for a break, which Tragedy delivers.  Musashi tries to
take advantage, but Tragedy blocks the attempted right hand, coming back
with one of his own!  And now Tragedy whips "Enigma" to the opposite
corner!  Musashi hits torso first... Tragedy with a dropkick right to
the small of the back, causing Musashi to hit again, and bounce out...]
 
TD: TRAGIC SUPLEX! One... two... and Takezo Musashi manages to kick out!  
    Tragedy pulls him up... spin kick, right to the lower back, knocking
    Musashi down again!
 
SR: The painted freak's on a roll... wait, both are painted... this 
    fed's turning into a circus, Dross!
 
TD: I've been saying that since 1996, Steve.  Now Tragedy flips "Enigma" 
    over... he's going for the Tragic Ending early!  But Musashi
    counters... no!  Tragedy turns it into an Indian Deathlock, and
    Musashi is hooked!  He tried to counter a false move!
 
[Musashi slaps the mat in frustration before reaching for the nearby
ropes.  D'Amato gives Tragedy the five count before he breaks.  Tragedy
stands up as the "Enigma" leaps to his feet, rage on his face, but
steady in his stance.  Tragedy goes in... only to be met with a Musashi
dropkick!]
 
TD: Now... HEY!
 
[Dross jumps as Harlequin Melody jumps over the railing, landing in the
lap of the Soundbite!]
 
M: Hey!  Miss me?
 
SR: Not at all.
 
TD: Melody joining us for commentary...
 
[Melody sticks her tongue out at Comedy, who watches as Musashi sends
chop after chop into her husband's chest, before putting him in the
corner, and bringing him out with a beautiful head scissors roll!
Without missing a beat, "Enigma" leaps straight up, and does a
split-legged moonsault onto Tragedy!  He covers, and D'Amato counts... 1
-- 2 -- and Tragedy kicks out!]
 
TD: So, where are Terror and Chaos right now?
 
M: Watching for the big bad Deathbringer... he scares me!  Hold me, 
   Steve!
 
SR: What can I say, Dross?
 
TD: I pray nothing...
 
[Musashi waits for Tragedy to stand, and bounds off the ropes... he goes
for a flying tackle, but Tragedy catches him right on the jaw with a
superkick!  Musashi goes down, and Tragedy lands a kneedrop to the lower
back!  And he follows up with a bow-and-arrow submission, driving the
knee right into the back!]
 
TD: Tragedy keeping it on the ground so far...
 
SR: Come on, this rest-hold stuff isn't going to draw any blood!  
    Where's that metal shiv?
 
M: Steve!
 
SR: Sorry, babe...
 
M: You should be... bad boy!
 
[Comedy yells "TRAMP!" as Tragedy switches from the bow-and-arrow to a
full nelson, keeping the knee in the back of Musashi.  Petrow starts a
"TAKEZO!" chant, but the crowd can't get into it.  But Musashi manages
to get to his feet, and he leaps onto the ropes and pushes off, slamming
into the mat and catching Tragedy in the middle!
 
TD: Harlequin sandwich!  
 
SR: That ain't 'til later... right, baby dolls?
 
[Melody giggles as now Musashi swithces over and tries to lock in an STF
hold on Tragedy, who scrambles away and rolls up in the corner.  Musashi
charges again...he ducks the superkick and comes up with a European
uppercut right to the jaw!  And now he leaps up...Frankensteiner into a
cradle!  1 -- 2...]
 
TD: Tragedy kicks out! So close, but he kicked out!
 
[Musashi now sets Tragedy against the ropes, and sends him for the
ride... and a spinning heel kick by the Cruiserweight champ!  The crowd
is getting into the match-up now as Musashi tries for a hip toss, but
Tragedy counters with one of his own!]
 
TD: Tragedy managing to get in some offence here, as now he nails a 
    series of right hands that stagger Musashi, before nailing a
    vertical suplex!
 
SR: At 210 pounds, Melody here could lift "Enigma", right?
 
M: Sure!  
 
SR: And can you suck the chrome off a trailer hitch too?
 
TD: Steve, remember our time slot!
 
[Tragedy hits a Russian Legsweep now, and that causes Takezo to roll
outside the ring... right by Josef "The Cavalier" Tadeuscz!  The
wrestler-fan watches as the "Enigma" catches his breath, keeping a wary
eye on Comedy and the dreaded Happy Hammer.]
 
TD: Tragedy keeping his distance... he knows that even a man with his 
    brawling skills might have some trouble on the outside with this
    wild man!
 
[Musashi climbs back up on the apron... Tragedy comes over to "help" him
back in, but Musashi drives his shoulder into his stomach, and dives
over the top rope with a sunset flip!  1 -- 2 -- but Tragedy gets a
shoulder up!  Both men to their feet... Musashi closes in, and goes
behind Tragedy... he goes for the Backdriver Suplex...]
 
TD: Tragedy tries to counter... NO GOOD!  Musashi drives him down!
 
M: DAMMIT!  We worked on a counter all week for that move...
 
SR: Anything I can do to make it better, baby doll?
 
[Before Melody can reply, the fans erupt!  Terror is thrown out from the
backstage curtain!  Chaos comes out next... dragging Deathbringer along
with him!]
 
TD: It's Deathbringer!  Deathbringer is taking on both Harlequins!
 
[Terror is back on his feet, and both Harlequins are pounding on
Deathbringer, who's wearing the goalie mask of two weeks ago, and all
three men are slowly going down the aisle.  Musashi points up top, and
those fans who are still watching cheer as Musashi climbs the
turnbuckle!]
 
TD: But Tragedy is up!  And he catches Musashi up top... POWERSLAM!  He 
    hurled Takezo Musashi across the ring!]
 
[Deathbringer slams Chaos' head off the steel rail as Terror is on his
back, trying to lock in a sleeper hold!  Tragedy now is ascending the
turnbuckles...]
 
SR: He's going up top, Dross!  
 
M: Watch this... ashes, ashes, we all fall down!
 
[Indeed, Tragedy is perched up top, arms spread, as Deathbringer whips
Terror off his back!  Tragedy aims... leaps...]
 
TD: THE WORLD COMES CRASHING DOWN!  Tragedy with that perfect Shooting 
    Star Press from the top!
 
[Tragedy goes to cover... but he leaps up, and runs across the ring,
where Deathbringer is inches away from his mask!  With a flying leap,
Tragedy grabs the mask!]
 
TD: Deathbringer came so close... and now he's being double teamed again 
    by the Harlequins!
 
[Tragedy turns around, mask in hand... avalanche splash by the "Enigma"!
Tragedy slumps to the mat as Musashi goes up top, cat quick... and hits
the picture perfect Starsault Press, camera flashbulbs popping all over
the arena as Musashi connects with his triple-somersault splash!
D'Amato counts as he covers: 1 -- 2 -- 3!]
 
SL: Ladies and gentlemen, your winner...
 
[Sparkplug is interrupted as Terror and Chaos brawl with Deathbringer!
Musashi slides out of the ring as Comedy rolls Tragedy out, who is still
holding Deathbringer's mask!  He takes off up the aisle, and
Deathbringer turns and follows after him!  In pursuit of him comes
Terror and Chaos, and Melody, who has left Steve Roberts.]
 
SR: Damn... so close to lovin', Dross...
 
[Takezo Musashi has the belt around his shoulder, and he begins to walk
away... but suddenly he turns and barks something to Josef Taeduscz, who
replies agitatedly!]
 
TD: Oh no, not another Nick McGill...
 
["Enigma" and "Cavalier" swap words and insults for a few tense moments,
but Musashi breaks off and stalks up the aisle, Team Sychosys leading
the scattered applause.  Cut back to the broadcast table at ringside.]
 
TD: An explosive situation defused there, thank heavens -- and what a 
    match for the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi.  He survived Tragedy's
    Shooting Star Press to take the victory with the Starsault Press,
    but give the assist to Deathbringer.  It seems the Dark Destroyer
    simply will not rest until he has that mask back in his possession.
 
SR: Who would've thunk a dead guy could get so worked up about such a 
    thing, Dross?  Almost as if somebody stole your toupee, or
    something.
 
TD: Let's not go there, Steve Roberts.  Folks, we're almost at the end 
    of our first hour here tonight -- but before we take a break, we're
    to get comments from the eldest member of the Macbeth clan, the
    cousin of the Intercontinental Champion, Andrew Macbeth, who
    unmasked himself last week, costing Timothy N. Turner a match
    against "The Intrepid" Ryan Howard.  So let's get down to the ring
    with Larry Morton, who's got one heck of an interview lined up for
    us...
 
SR: If he comes out to those damn bagpipes, Dross, you'd better make 
    sure we've got plenty o' Tylenol available in the concession stand.
 
[Cut to the ring, where Larry Morton stands, clutching a microphone.  He
waits for the crowd to die down before beginning:]
 
LM: Ladies and gentlemen... please welcome to the IIWF... from 
    Glenfinnan, Scotland... Andrew Macbeth!
 
[A disquieting pause follows as the crowd waits momentarily for the
burly Scot to appear.  But no fife and drum comes across the P.A., and
no bagpipes.  Finally, Andrew emerges through the curtains at the top of
the ramp, dressed in street clothes, including a charcoal grey Saville
Row overcoat.  The dark coat only serves to highlight the flaming red
shock of hair on top of his head, which he has grown long and tied into
a ponytail at the back, and the trademark goatee, although traces of
salt-and-pepper grey are now visible.  Andrew carves a figure of cool
menace as he slowly ambles his way down the ramp toward the ring.
Casually, he steps through the ropes and approaches Larry Morton, who
seems a bit unnerved by the combination of the relative silence of the
crowd and the demeanour of Macbeth]
 
LM: Well, Andrew Macbeth, you shocked the IIWF and the wrestling world 
    with your surprise entrance last Saturday night -- not only with the
    unmasking of The Masked Terror, but with your interference in the
    Timothy N.  Turner/Ryan Howard match, causing your friend... or
    should I say, "former" friend, to lose the match, not to mention
    clotheslining him out of his boots.  Can you tell us, Andrew, what
    prompted these actions, and what this means in regards to your
    cousin, the Intercontinental champion, Duncan Macbeth?
 
[Morton, his hand shaking ever-so-slightly places the microphone in
front of Andrew, who contemplates it for a moment, then takes it out of
Morton's hand, staring at him for a moment.]
 
AM: "Wha' prompted these actions?", ye ask.  Well, Mr Morton, t'is very 
    simple, an' yet, t'is nae so easy fer me t' explain, aye.
 
    First, there's th' matter o' Timothy N.  Turner.  Tha' should be
    simple enough fer ye to comprehend, an ye all heard wha' I sayed on
    yer wee Monday show.  Everyone 'ere 'as been watchin' Turner over
    th' last few months, an' ye all ken tha' he's gone _soft_.  'E comes
    tae th' IIWF, 'e thinks 'e's made th' big time, tha' e's paid 'is
    doos.  Outside o' th' ring, 'e starts livin' th' high life, aye, an'
    it starts to affect wha' 'e does inside th' ring.  Now, 'e's lost
    tha' edge tha' ye need t' beat th' best tha' th' IIWF 'as t' offer.
 
    Which is fine with me.  T'is Turner's life tae waste if 'e so
    chooses.
 
[Crowd murmur.]
 
    But when i' comes t' me cousin, me flesh an' blood, aye, _tha'_ is
    where I draw th' line.  Turner's attitude 'as rubbed off way too
    much on Duncan.  Fer cryin' oot loud, Morton, th' guy cannae e'en
    focus on 'is job anymoor.  'E's been too busy makin' enemies, an'
    now, 'e's got 'imself tied oop in a knot o'er this Simon Lebec
    character.  Just like th' ol' days, when I was pullin' 'is arse
    outta barroom brawls a' th' ol' Hart Heed's Poob back 'ome, aye.  
 
    Duncan's life 'is also 'is tae waste.  If 'e wants t' galavant off
    with 'is wee buddy Turner an' have a wee dram 'ere an' there, so be
    it.  But I'm nae aboot tae sit back an' make I' easy fer the lad,
    aye.  All Duncan 'as tae do 'is watch how easy t'is fer me t' take
    'is pal Turner an' tear 'im six ways from Sunday, an' maybe tha'll
    put some sense back into 'is heed.
 
    As fer Turner, if 'es really so serious about gettin' 'is act
    together, all 'e has tae do is get in tha' soddin' IIWF ring with me
    an' put oop a guid fight.  Tha's all it takes.  Ye want respect,
    Turner, ye has tae _earn_ it back.
 
    Now, if ye'll excuse me, Mr Morton, I have tae get back t' me hotel
    an' study a fresh batch o' videotape from last week's matches, aye.
    Ye get back t' yer wee show, an'...
 
[Suddenly, Macbeth is interrupted as a voice booms out over the PA:]
 
VOICE: The hell with you, ya' stupid...
 
[The camera quickly finds Timothy N. Turner stumbling through the
curtains to the back with a mic in hand.  He is wearing one of his usual
expensive designer suits but this one looks like it has seen better
days.  In fact, it looks like it has been slept in for at least a few
consecutive nights.  Turner's entire body seems to be listing to port
and a bottle of some unknown concoction is dangling from his other
hand.]
 
TD: [over headset] What has happened to Tim Turner?
 
SR: [over headset] What do you mean "what's happened," Dross?  The guy 
    is hammered!
 
[Turner stumbles a couple of steps forward and lifts the mic back up.]
 
TNT: You think you're so tough... Andrew... but...
 
[Turner pauses, clearly losing his train of thought.  He then seems to
almost break into tears.]
 
TNT: I don't need you!  You stupid... tait!
 
SR: [over headset] What the hell's a tait?
 
[The camera flips over to Andrew Macbeth in the ring who looks to be in
shock over the condition of Timothy Turner.  The camera flips back to
the head of the aisle where Turner is trying to pull himself together.]
 
TNT: You think you're so smart... and tough.  Well, I'm not half the man 
     that... I mean... I'm twice the... er.
 
[Turner stops to get his bearings as two figures familiar to wrestling
fans step through the curtains behind him.]
 
TD: [over headset] That's Timothy's brother Tom and his partner, Akira 
    Saito.  They are the All Asian Tag Champs over in SJPW.
 
SR: Maybe they're going to turn on him too!
 
[Tom puts his hand on Tim's shoulder, clearly looking worried.  Timothy
shrugs him off and takes another stab at talking.]
 
TNT: I'll take you on anytime and I'll whip you all the way back to... 
     Scotsdale... or... whatever.
 
[Turner seems to noticeably slump and Tom and Akira quickly grab him
before he falls.  As they help him back through the curtain the camera
flips to Andrew Macbeth standing in the ring.  His face shows a mixture
of disgust and disappointment.  As he climbs through the ropes the shot
switches to the announcers at ringside.]
 
TD: Apparently Timothy Turner has accepted the challenge of Andrew 
    Macbeth.
 
SR: It looks like Mr. Unintelligible II is going to have any easy time 
    taking that guy down!
 
TD: What a shame that a man with such talent should let himself fall to 
    such lows.  Folks, that's just about it for our first hour here
    tonight -- we'll be right back with more incredible action,
    including Steve "the Fury" Kowalski taking on Serge Annis, and that
    special interview with the IIWF President concerning Ring Wars 5!
    We'll be right back!
 
[Cut to a wide-angle shot of the Australian crowd cheering as the huge
Andrew Macbeth heads up the aisle.  Fade.]
 
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