________ ______ | || |\ \ /\ / /| __| | || | \ v v / | __| |_||_| \_/\_/ |_| ___________ ______ ______ ____ ___ ___ | ___/| \ | ____\| ____\ F | \ | | | | _| |___| |> /_| |____| |___ _|_|\ \ | | | | \_ ___/| < \_ ___/\_ ___/ O \_____ \| | | | | | | |\ \ | | | | | | \ \ |____| |_____ | | | || | | |____| |____ R | | \ \_____/______/ |/ |/ | | |_____/|_____/ |/ \/ \| Saturday 21 March 1998 Wembley Stadium, London, England [The opening graphics fade through to a montage of the London skyline by night: the famous clock tower in Westminster which houses Big Ben, underlit by powerful spotlights; the gates of Buckingham Palace, guards on patrol, with black Hackney carriage taxis honking their horns and zooming past; Tower Bridge, which even now, at approaching midnight, swarms with cars; the flashing lights and huge electronic advertisements of Picadilly Circus, large double-decker red London buses passing by below. Cut to a shot of the famous twin towers of Wembley Stadium, tonight adorned with IIWF flags, which stand out from the night sky, illuminated by powerful spotlights. The shot cuts to a camera on the ground at the end of Wembley Way, the paved road along which hundreds of thousands of fans have walked over the years, looking up at the huge outdoor structure which looms ever closer. Over these continuing shots comes the voice over of Tim Dross:] TD: Welcome everybody to merry old England! [Cut to live aerial footage of Wembley Stadium, apparently shot from a helicopter. The shot swoops over the high wall of the stadium, the huge arena coming into view, the thousands of fans spreading out below like an ocean.] TD: Welcome everybody to Europe's finest outdoor stadium! [And in the middle of the sea is an oasis of light, the ringside enclosure, complete with its huge lighting rig, supported on four ringside scaffolding pillars. Several spotlights are pointing skywards, probing the deep purple above with their brilliant beams, picking up wisps of mist and fog in the midnight air.] TD: Welcome everybody to Wembley Stadium! [A huge pop goes up, audible even from several hundred feet in the air, as a volley of fireworks is unleashed, zooming up into the night sky and exploding in a colourful shower of sparks! The shot now cuts to the aisle leading from the locker room on the floor of the stadium, the camera making its way past the fans clamouring behind the steel barriers on either side of the aisle, attempting to get their home-made signs in shot -- "ML-WhO?", "London Loves IIWF", "Go Fury Go!", "The IIWF: More Than Just More Than Just Tables And Chairs", amongst countless others. The shot finally comes to rest on the broadcast table in the ringside enclosure, at which are seated the familiar duo of Tim Dross and "Soundbite" Steve Roberts. Dross is bedecked in his finest PPV tuxedo, and sports his headset over what can only be described as a radiantly bald scalp, while Roberts also wears a tuxedo, a brightly coloured bow tie, a small golden pin badge shaped like a microphone adorned with the words, "The Best"... and a large, plastic crown on his head.] TD: Howdy, folks, and thanks for joining us for tonight's Free For All broadcast! We are now just thirty minutes away from the biggest pay-per-view of the year so far, the IIWF's Ring Wars 5, and we are coming at you live from Wembley Stadium, London, England! I'm Tim Dross, and beside me... well, beside me is my broadcast colleague and tag team partner, "Soundbite" Steve Roberts. Who appears to be wearing a crown. SR: Isn't it the usual heel announcer shtick to proclaim myself as the king of England, Dross? TD: It's been done before, Steve. SR: Aw, there you go, Dross, always ruinin' my fun. Damn it, the Soundbite doesn't need no crown anyway. Here ya go, morons. [Roberts reaches up and removes the crown from his head, tossing it behind the announcers' table and into the crowd, provoking a mass scramble amongst the ringside fans, who chant in unison, "Crikey, Soundbite! Crikey!"] SR: Holy smoke, Dross. I thought these limeys only talked like that in sixties Disney films. What the hell kind of word is "crikey" anyway? TD: I have absolutely no idea -- but that's not our concern right now. What is our concern is that in just half an hour, we will kick off Ring Wars 5, an event which is possibly more widely-anticipated than any other pay-per-view in IIWF history! SR: You know, Dross, you can get real jaded in this profession. Every week it's just an orgy of bare female flesh, gratuitous violence, gallons of bodily fluid -- and that's just Becky LaRue's dressing room. TD: Your point being what, Steve Roberts? SR: My point being, Dross, that you may think you've seen it all before, that nothing the rasslin' can throw at you can possibly surprise you... but, buddy, there sure as heck be some real curve-balls on tonight's show. TD: That is most certainly true, Steve Roberts. Folks, we have quite simply the single most unique card in wrestling history assembled for you here tonight. We'll see falls count anywhere matches, we'll see a ladder match, we'll see a cage match, we'll see a blindfold match, we'll see an exploding ring match -- all manner of variants on some of the most exciting speciality matches of all time. And we'll also see some truly innovative contests: a "King of the Mountain"... SR: King of the _Castle_, Dross. TD: ...progressive match featuring no less than nine top-class IIWF superstars -- not to mention the first ever Thames barge match! It's action as only the IIWF can bring you -- so if you haven't ordered this incredible pay-per-view yet, pick up that phone and make that call right now! SR: Always the big sell, Dross. That's what I love about you, buddy. TD: We have a sell-out crowd of more than eighty thousand fans on hand here tonight, folks. The big show will kick off at midnight local time -- but in the intervening half hour, we have a good deal to get through. We'll be getting live comments from IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, Steve "the Fury" Kowalski, as he prepares to face his toughest challenge to date in tonight's main event; "Savage" Shadoe Rage in an exploding ring. Unbelievable. We'll also be taking a look at the history leading up to a number of our other headline encounters, so with that in mind. Before all that, I understand Dave Bacon is backstage in the parking lot here at Wembley Stadium. Dave? [Cut to Dave Bacon standing in the parking lot, beneath a security camera, the red light of which blinks as it surveys the well-lit area.] DB: Thanks, Tim. I'm out here in the parking lot -- where just a few moments ago there was a serious altercation between the Machines and the Fabulous Ones. Our camera crew didn't arrive on the scene until the situation had been defused, but this security camera [points overhead] picked up all the action. Let's take a look. [Cut to clear monochrome footage captioned, "Courtesy of Wembley Security: Moments Ago." A light-colored BMW pulls up at a very high rate of speed into the parking lot, then slams on the brakes into a space. Paul Wong steps out of the driver's side and uses his remote to open the trunk, while Simon O'Neal exits from the passenger's side. The state of the art security camera picks up the sound clearly.] SO: You drive like a damn maniac. PW: No speeding tickets yet. SO: Then you're lucky. Ain't.... VOICE: There they are! [Off to the side, Sho Satsuma and Agito Nakajima, also in street clothes, start charging towards the car. Sho reaches first and tackles Simon O'Neal. Paul rushes up and meets Agito, and the two big men start battling each other. Sho and Simon take their fight outside of the camera's range, but Agito and Paul keep fighting, and Agito starts choking Paul on top of his car. Paul uses both hands to shove Agito away, then kicks Agito off the car. Paul Wong rolls off the car and picks up Agito, then rams him into the car. A loud *CRASH* is heard in the background. Meanwhile, Agito drops o the ground and Paul surveys the damage to his car by rubbing his hand down it. The noise of an engine gets louder and louder. Suddenly, Agito gets up and runs.) PW: [hollering at the fleeing Agito] Is that the best you can do...? What?! [Paul wheels around and realizes why Agito took off. Sho is in the driver's seat of a forklift truck and is rolling at Paul's BMW. Paul hesitantly dodges out of the way as the prongs of the fork lift crash through the side of the car. The windows explodes as the once clean BMW rocks to one side. The fork lift starts to raise up, bringing the car off the ground.] PW: Holy... no! [An outraged Paul Wong tries to leap into the carriage to fight Sho, but is held back by security guards. Agito and Simon are being pulled apart by more guards, as Sho drives the fork lift into the side of the entrance way ramp wall, smashing the car into oblivion. The two forks of the lift drive all the way through the car and into the wall. Sho tries to free the fork lift, but to no avail. By this point Paul has slowly dragged the security guards over towards the fork lift. Sho climbs onto the top of the carriage and leaps off into the crowd of security guards and Paul. On impact with the group, all of them fall to the ground. Sho and Paul start nailing each other with punches. By this time Simon has broken free of the other group of security guards that were holding him and Agito back. Simon slides between the other guards and grabs an irate Paul, and pulls him away. Sho is now being restrained by the guards as Simon, and Paul, against his will, enter the building. Cut back to Dave Bacon in the parking lot, now standing by the wreckage of the Machines' BMW.] DB: Quite a brawl between the Fabulous Ones and the Machines. It's my understanding that security are doing their best to keep these two teams apart backstage -- it seems that the Machines' attack on Ms. Miki last Saturday Night in the Congo has set the Fabulous Ones off in a very big way. I just wonder who's going to foot the bill for this hire car. Back to you at ringside. [The shot zooms in on the punctured side of the German automobile before cutting back to Dross and Roberts at ringside. Behind them, fans in the crowd clamour to get into the shot.] TD: Tensions already rising here tonight, Steve Roberts. Of course, the Machines and the Fabulous Ones are just two of the four teams in that huge four-way tag team battle that will kick off Ring Wars 5 in just a little over twenty-five minutes. SR: Call your local cable operator, yadda yadda yadda. TD: Another huge match we'll be seeing in the first hour of our big, big pay-per-view pits Timothy N. Turner against the cousin of his friend... SR: Companion, Dross. They like to be called "companions." TD: ...Andrew Macbeth -- in a falls count anywhere Highland Brawl! Let's take a look at what has brought Timothy N. Turner to the dance here at Wembley tonight. ------------------------------- PREVIEW -------------------------------- HIGHLAND BRAWL: Timothy N. Turner vs. Andrew Macbeth ------------------------------- PREVIEW -------------------------------- [A series of video images fill the screen as an unknown voice narrates over the top. The first image is Timothy N. Turner sitting at ringside surrounded by other wrestlers and uniformed waiters.] VO: Timothy Turner joined the IIWF last year with quite a splash. [Turner getting the three count on Kevin Christiansen.] VO: He made his presence felt and picked up victories over a variety of opposition. [Luke Steele stopping Turner from climbing over the wall at Leavenworth Penitentiary.] VO: But it was at Leavenworth where he really made an impression on the fans... [Timothy Turner flying over the wall using his now famous jetpack.] VO: The Rocket Man was born! [Turner getting the victory over Ronnie Paris at Disneyland.] VO: It was this new Rocket Man who earned the right to face Derek Mota for the Cruiserweight Championship at Ring Wars 4... [Turner getting the victory over Mota and raising the Cruiserweight Title belt over his head.] VO: And it was the Rocket Man who won that title. So what happened? [Turner standing in the IIWF interview area.] TNT: I want tag matches... non-title matches... anything that will keep me from having to defend this belt! [Turner standing in the ring with Duncan Macbeth.] VO: He managed to turn the fans against him and even stopped Duncan Macbeth from defending his title... against Duncan's wishes. [The Turner chalet on Boxing Day. Andrew Macbeth can clearly be seen staring with disgust at Turner.] VO: Turner lived the good life... and it cost him. [Ronnie Paris picking up the pin on Turner.] VO: It cost him the Cruiserweight title... [Turner walking the aisle while the fans pelt him with a deluge of insults and cat-calls.] VO: And it cost him any respect he still had. [Switch to a black and white shot of the Masked Terror pulling off his mask to reveal Andrew Macbeth. Then to Turner's face with a mixture of surprise and fear evident.] VO: Hot on the heels of a betrayal by Derek Mota...Andrew Macbeth shocked the world -- and Timothy Turner -- by causing him to lose a match to his nemesis, Ryan Howard. [Turner staggering out from behind the curtain with a bottle dangling from his hand.] VO: It was too much for Turner. He hit rock bottom. [Tom Turner and Akira Saito helping Turner away after that incident.] VO: It took his family to try and put him back together. [Turner running through the rain, in mud covered sweats. Turner doing deep knee bends with a large dead-fall on his shoulders.] VO: They got him into physical shape, but what about his mental health? [Turner running out of the ring away from Andrew Macbeth.] VO: Last week it all fell apart. Until something important happened. [Turner hitting Andrew Macbeth with the TNT elbow drop.] VO: He beat him. [Turner standing in an empty ring, staring at a wooden board with a picture of Andrew Macbeth on it. He lashes out, splitting the board in half.] VO: Is he truly ready? Has Timothy Turner climbed out of the pits of depression? Can he face Andrew Macbeth? [A close up of Turner's rage-filled face.] VO: We'll find out tonight. [Cut back to Tim Dross and Steve Roberts at ringside. A rowdy pocket of fans, having watched the segment on overhead video screens, begins chanting, "MACBETH! MACBETH! MACBETH!"] TD: As you can hear, folks, a very vocal contingent of the Macbeth clan's countrymen have made the several hundred mile journey down to London from the Scottish highlands to cheer Duncan and Andrew on tonight. SR: Apparently that's the entire population of Glenfinnan right there, Dross. TD: The mind boggles. I'm told that a number of members of the Macbeth clan -- including retired wrestler Black Angus Macbeth, with whom Duncan and Andrew held a number of six-man tag team championships in other promotions -- are in the stands here tonight. It's certainly very exciting to be here in the United Kingdom with all of these great fans for the first time. SR: Damned limey morons. TD: Hang on -- I understand Dave Bacon is backstage, and there's been some kind of incident. Dave? [Cut to Dave Bacon standing outside an open locker room door. Behind him, officials mill around variously, and the camera catches occasional glimpses inside the room, where furniture appears to have been turned over, and two men are down on the floor being tended to by medical personnel.] DB: Thanks, Tim. I'm here outside the locker room of the Timothy Turner contingent -- the "Rocket Man" was accompanied to Wembley tonight by his brother, Tom Turner, and his partner, Akiro Saito, together known as the NorthPac Coalition. And it appears that a mystery duo has attacked Saito and Turner here in their locker rooms! I don't know where Timothy Turner himself is at the moment, but apparently he wasn't here when the attack occurred. From what I understand, two huge men in black bodysuits and masks simply burst in and attacked the Coalition. The element of surprise and the use of quite a bit of furniture -- as you can see -- gave the mystery men the advantage in the fight. Before security were alerted to the disturbance, Tom Turner suffered a minor concussion, and Saito may have injured his ankle. I... [Suddenly, Bacon is shoved out of the way by a furious Timothy N. Turner, who arrives on the scene with a loud yell, apparently stumbling upon the situation for the first time. He enters the locker room, shocked, and forces several officials away from the door. As the camera attempts to enter the locker room, Turner grabs the lens and shoves it away, yelling, "Get out! Get out!" The door slams shut, and Bacon reappears in the shot, adjusting his tie.] DB: Well, I guess that's all I have for now. I'll try and update you on the condition of the NorthPac Coalition, and the identity of their attackers, as and when further information becomes available. Back to you at ringside. [Cut back to the broadcast table at ringside.] TD: It seems nobody is safe back there tonight, Steve Roberts. Let's turn our attention to tonight's match for the Intercontinental Championship -- and go live to Larry Morton, who is high above us in a helicopter. Larry? ------------------------------- PREVIEW -------------------------------- INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP THAMES BARGE MATCH: Macbeth vs. Lebec ------------------------------- PREVIEW -------------------------------- [The shot cuts to aerial footage of the blinking lights of the streets of London sprawled out hundreds of feet below, cars streaming through the streets, office buildings and theatres still illuminated, and the River Thames winding through the centre of it all like a giant snake, the numerous bridges which cross it visible into the distance by the trails of cars that cross them. The shot swings around, to reveal that it is being taken from inside a helicopter, and that seated beside the cameraman is none other than IIWF announcer Larry Morton, his hair being blown about by the wind from the chopper's open window. His speech is somewhat obscured by the insistent noise of the chopper's blades.] LM: Yes, Tim, I'm currently flying over the River Thames in preparation for tonight's Thames Barge match between Intercontinental Champion Duncan Macbeth and "The Savior" Simon Lebec. This is a completely unique match that will take place on a barge, a long boat, in the centre of the Thames, the object being to pin your opponent anywhere on the barge, force him to submit -- or to toss him over the side of into the river! We'll be arriving at the site of the match in just a few moments, but before we get there, let's take a look at the history between these two individuals. [Cut to a video package. Footage of Duncan Macbeth holding up the Intercontinental Championship after winning it in a tough match with "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley rolls as Larry Morton provides a voice-over:] VO: It was a long road to the gold for the brawny Scot Duncan Macbeth. But having set his sights on the Intercontinental Championship, Macbeth would settle for nothing less than victory. [Cut to footage captioned, "IIWF Saturday Night: 27 September 1997", and the battle royal to determine the number one contender to the Intercontinental Championship is well under way, IIWF superstars slugging it out in the crowded ring.] VO: It began last September, with a battle royal to determine who would face Chris Quigley for the Intercontinental Championship at Ring Wars IV in Los Angeles in November. [As Steve Kowalski and Brody Thunder are eliminated, thanks in no small part to Casey James on the outside, Serge Annis and Duncan Macbeth, the last two remaining competitors, turn to each other, and begin to wildly brawl, each man throwing rights and lefts... Annis with a series of knee lifts and a whip to the corner... Macbeth goes hard into the buckle... bouncing back to mid-ring... and is sent hard to the opposite corner -- Macbeth hitting the buckle -- flipping up -- and flipping over... But landing on the apron!  Macbeth lands on the apron -- moves to the top rope -- and comes down on Serge with a huge flying crossbody! Macbeth hops to his feet, grabbing the chair -- and then whipping Annis farside -- Serge ducks the chairshot -- turns around -- and kicks Macbeth in the stomach -- Macbeth doubles over and drops the chair -- Annis leaning down and grabbing a gutwrench...] TD: Gutwrench powerbomb by Annis!  Gutwrench powerbomb by Annis!  And he's hoisting Macbeth to his feet!  He's bringing Macbeth up... Macbeth is going _up_ into the air... [Annis whips Macbeth, catching him around the throat and bringing him to the air -- Serge backsweeping the legs and bringing Macbeth higher still... NO! It is Macbeth who goes higher still... using the momentum of Serge's sweep to swing his legs up -- up to the head of Serge -- Macbeth pulling his torso up, up to Serge's neck... _snapping_ off the hurricanrana that sends each man tumbling... tumbling over the top rope! Each man falling... Falling... Falling...] TD: NO!  Macbeth grabs the ropes!  Macbeth hangs on!  It is over!  It is all over!! [Huge pop from the crowd as Serge hits the floor, Duncan Macbeth remaining dangled between the ropes... Ding! Ding! Ding!] SL: Your winner... and advancing to Ring Wars IV... DUNCAN MACBETH! [Big pop for Macbeth, the Scotsman staggering around the ring now, Macbeth thrusting an arm into the air in victory as Annis smacks the apron on the outside -- "Scotland the Brave" begins as "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley slowly leaves his ringside seat, putting on his sunglasses and looking up into the ring... Macbeth then points, points directly at Chris Quigley and makes the motion around his waist, Duncan Macbeth making the motion that it is he -- he who wants the Intercontinental belt!] VO: Triumphing against adversity was always something Duncan Macbeth took in his stride -- but even he was not prepared for what would happen when he finally met Chris Quigley for the title. [Cut to footage captioned, "IIWF Ring Wars IV: Saturday 8 November 1997." Macbeth and Quigley are wrestling in front of more than one hundred thousand fans in the Los Angeles Memorial Coliseum. Quigley bounds off the ropes and comes careening back towards Macbeth, who leaps up into the air, clinches his legs around the head of the champion, and drives him into the mat with his Claymore frankensteiner! A thunderous pop washes over the 100,000 strong crowd! Quigley is completely out cold, and Macbeth is trying to muster up sufficient wits to go for the cover!] SR: Halleluya! It's game over for the champion! Did you enjoy your little title reign, Kick-me? Duncan Macbeth is the new Intercontinental champion, from this moment forth! TD: Duncan Macbeth still has to make that cover to be crowned the new champ, Steve... hold on a moment! Steve Manning is on his way down to ringside! Steve Manning is furiously wheeling his chair down the aisle, and he's got a lead pipe in his hand! Where the heck did he come from? SR: It's too late, goddammit! He'll never make it in time! Go for the cover, Macbeth! Come on man, do it! [The crowd is in an uproar, many of them yelling at Macbeth to make the cover, others hurling jeers at Steve Manning, who is speeding his wheel chair down the aisle as fast as he can... but it doesn't look like he'll make it in time. Duncan Macbeth, finally shaking off the cobwebs, rolls across the prone and comatose Quigley for the cover. D'Amato's hand slaps the mat once... Suddenly, to the utter, utter shock of all observors, Steve Manning leaps up off his wheelchair and begins to sprint towards the ring! A massive shocked pop rocks the crowd!] TD: Oh my goodness! Steve Manning... What the heck is happening out here!?! SR: That twisted, demonic lying little toad! Steve Manning is a fake cripple! [Dave D'Amato's hand slaps the mat a second time. Steve Manning leaps up onto the apron, lead pipe in hand, and dives into the ring! Dave D'Amato's hand hovers, descends, about to strike the mat for the third time... Manning lunges forward and cracks Macbeth across the head with the lead pipe, and the Scot jolts and rolls off the body of Quigley, just as D'Amato's hand hits the mat! An immense roar of disapproval rolls over the stadium, and Steve Manning, cackling evilly, rolls Chris Quigley's unconcious body across the equally unconcious Duncan Macbeth. D'Amato shakes his head in disappointment, but without the power to call for a DQ, has no option but to register the pinfall: 1 - 2 - 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] RA: Ladies and gentlemen, as the result of a pinfall, here is your winner, and STILL the Intercontinental champion... "Quickstrike" Chris Quigley! [The chorus of jeers is so pronounced, and so many paper cups fly at the ring, that Sparkplug's face turns green with fear and he scurries back to his ringside seat as fast as he can. The footage freezes as the camera catches the look on Macbeth's face: a combination of shock, surprise, disappointment and disgust.] VO: Disappointment and deceit served only to spur Macbeth on in his quest for the title. But when Macbeth finally captured the title, he courted controversy: [Cut to footage captioned, "IIWF Saturday Night: 3 January 1998", as Duncan Macbeth wrestles Chris Quigley for the Intercontinental Championship, with special guest official Joe Petrow. The original soundtrack plays:] TD: Macbeth has the Boston Crab locked in, and they are right in the middle of the ring! I don't see how Chris Quigley can possibly escape! But he refuses to submit! SR: Break him in half, Duncan! [The crowd is on its feet, screaming and waving their tartan swatches, but Quigley continues to shake his head, even as sweat and blood run into his eyes. Macbeth leans even further back, and Petrow drops down to his hands and knees, his face just inches from the champion's. The fans are so loud that Sychosys is screaming at the top of his lungs, asking Quigley if he submits. Manning is struggling desperately at ringside, but isn't able to escape Fitzgerald's grip.] TD: I can not believe the courage being shown by Chris Quigley! His back must be nearly broken, but he will not submit! SR: Good! If Macbeth snaps his spine, we'll never have to worry about him winning another title! TD: There is only about 90 seconds left before the time limit expires, and this match goes to the judges at ringside! [But that quickly becomes a moot point, as Petrow leaps to his feet and points to Sparkplug, who is so excited that he rings the bell with his microphone, causing a deafening DING! Macbeth releases the hold and throws his arms into the air, while the former champion lies face down on the mat. Edmund Fitzgerald flings Steve Manning aside and jumps into the ring to join the celebration, as does Timothy Turner, still blinking away the last of the mace. The crowd goes insane, throwing the tartans into the air.] SL: As a result of a submission, your winner, and NEW INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPION, DUNCAN MACBETH!! [While Duncan, Fitz and TNT celebrate, Joe Petrow hands the title belt to the new champion, then calmly leaves the ring. As he does, Chris Quigley gets to his knees and gestures to Manning that he apparently did not submit.] TD: The crowd is going berserk, but Chris Quigley is claiming that he did not submit. Joe Petrow called the match right down the middle, but did he help Duncan Macbeth at the end? [The soundtrack fades as Macbeth stands in the ring, hoisting the IC belt into the air.] VO: But Duncan Macbeth finally had the title... and nobody was about to take it away from him now. [Cut to a series of clips of Macbeth in action: the Scot scoops Derek Mota up and slams him to the mat, drops a leg across his throat, and covers for a two count. As Mota gets up, Macbeth bounces off the ropes with a bulldog, then hops up the turnbuckle, leaping off with a flying headbutt that connects hard!] VO: Macbeth was invincible in the ring. [Cut to Macbeth brawling with the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi and "Savage" Shadoe Rage in Florida, and then wrestling Musashi again in Nagano, Japan. Cut to footage captioned, "IIWF Saturday Night: 7 March 1998", as Macbeth wrestles Luke Steele. In the ring, Macbeth whips Steele into the ropes, just as Christopher Stonebreaker and Stone, who are brawling at ringside, shove each other, and the chair Stonebreaker was wielding goes flying... clipping the back of Steele's head! Steele clutches the back of his head as he hits the ropes... ...right into a Claymore by Macbeth, who covers... 1 -- 2 -- 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] VO: There was no obstacle that Macbeth could not overcome. Until... [Cut to footage captioned "IIWF Saturday Night: 31 January 1998". A gospel choir appears in the aisle and makes its way to ringside. In the background, a brown-haired white male sticks out like a thumb in the all-black choir.  The white man sings and dances about as he makes his way to ringside.] SR: What in the Hell is this?! TD: I have... no idea.  I don't think that... OH MY! SR: What? TD: It's... it's "THE SHOWSTOPPER"! [The camera focuses in on the white male, who upon review, does somewhat bear an uncanny likeness to the superstar formerly known as "The Showstopper" Simon Lebec.  Lebec appears to have quite the different look, wearing a monk's robe as he enters the ringside area.  He has also dyed his hair brown, as opposed to his former golden blond locks. The top of his head bears a bald spot, which appears to be self-shaven to go with his new friar style. Larry's voice-over resumes:] VO: An IIWF superstar from the past, making his return, called Macbeth out. [Cut to a few minutes later in the broadcast, as Simon Lebec gives his sweaty testimony in the squared circle, parading around the ring in his monkish attire and clutching his microphone:] SL: An' I found my callin', when the Lord spoke of this evil man by the name of Duncan Macbeth.  An' when I heard of this man, I knew that it was my duty to either save him, or send him TO THE FIERY PITS OF HADES! This so-called champion is not a role model, and he's not a Christian. So, as my role as a tool of good, I will turn him... or I will turn him inside-out IN THE NAME OF GOD! CHOIR: IN THE NAME OF GOD, SO HELP ME!  PRAISE JESUS! SL: "The Savior" Simon Lebec has been born, brothers and sisters. An' Duncan Macbeth, I'll leave you wit one little 'ol note.  When a man's been to the End... there ain't nothin' he can't accomplish! [Lebec drops the mic as the choir gives one more "Amen" to the end of his speech.  The choir begins singing once again, as Lebec and company leave ringside to a still-puzzled crowd. The soundtrack fades as Morton's voice-over resumes:] VO: Who would have thought that a bogus man of the cloth could cause so much trouble? [Enigma's "Sadeness (Part 1)" kicks in as a fast-moving montage of all of Lebec's attacks on Macbeth fills the screen: ...Lebec grabs a Bible, charges at Macbeth, and starts pummeling him with the book, screaming "Back, demon!  Back!"... ...Lebec sprinkling Macbeth with "holy water" and proclaiming, "In the name o' th' Lord almighty!", causing the Intercontinental Champion to be attacked from behind by Derek Mota... ...Macbeth makes a guest appearance on the Friday "Countdown" show. Host Larry Morton and Macbeth are seen talking before the live taping of the show. All of a sudden, Simon Lebec walks onto the set behind the two. They can't see him, since they are facing the other way, but the camera picks up his every movement. Lebec, slowly and cautiously, raises a table leg high into the air above Macbeth's head. Macbeth, still unsuspecting, continues talking. Off-stage camera hands yell out to Morton and Macbeth, but in a flash, with one quick vicious blow, Lebec swings at Macbeth's head with the oak table leg, as if it were a baseball bat. Macbeth is knocked from his chair as Lebec is grabbed by a burly sound engineer... ...Macbeth and Lebec stare at each other eye to eye. It's Macbeth who swings the first punch, and both men just start savagely attacking each other. Lebec and Macbeth fall out of the ring and keep attacking each other. Macbeth gets the advantage until Lebec grabs a chair and swings it at Macbeth. They continue to fight, even as security tries to break them up and force them towards the locker room... ...Macbeth turns to see Lebec inches from his face, screaming at him and pointing to the Intercontinental belt around Macbeth's waist. Lebec turns... and he grabs a small child from the audience! No more then six, the child screams as Lebec tosses him at Macbeth! Macbeth catches the child and sets him down, just as Lebec attempts a kick! Macbeth catches Lebec, and smiles as he holds his foot... DEVIL'S PITCHFORK ENZUIGIRI! Lebec nails Macbeth as Tim Turner watches from the apron... Cut to comments from both men:] DM: At Ring Wars 5, ye an' I are goin' t' be face t' face on th' steel deck o' a barge in th' middle o' th' Thames. Ye're practically goin' t' be in me own backyard, "Showstopper". An' if ye're smart, ye'll start workin' on yuir dog-paddle, wha'. [Cut to Simon Lebec:] SL: I ain't never been no #1 nothin' o' nothin'. But now, ol' Duncan, looks ta me like I'm yer worst nightmare. Feels real nice being #1. Real nice indeed. [Cut back to Macbeth:] DM: Th' day is comin' e'er closer when I'm goin' t' beat ye like th' dog ye are, when I crack yuir skull like a bleedin' chestnut on th' steel deck o' tha' barge, when I smash ye in t' submission an' make ye beg me fer forgiveness like a schoolboy at confession, righ' before I baptize ye in th' Thames! [Cut back to Lebec:] SL: Taken from Job 23:10, "But HE knows the way that I take. When HE has tested me, I will come forth as gold." An' I will come forth as gold. IC gold. Ol' Duncan is right. He's still number one. But I'll make that jump. I shit you not. [Cut back to Macbeth:] DM: At Ring Wars 5, 'twill be YE who shall burn unto th' lowest Hell, Simon Lebec. An' even th' Thames 'erself will no' be able t' put out th' flames! Vengeance is MINE. Shall we gather at th' river? [The video package ends with a close-up of Macbeth's furious stare, his green eyes glinting with barely-contained anger. The shot opens once more on Larry Morton, now standing on the steel deck of the barge moored in the middle of the River Thames, the helicopter beside him, having landed neatly on the wide deck. The well wrapped-up Morton holds a microphone with a large wind muffler on it, and he is being blown mercilessly by the wind, which carries an ever-thicker fog over the river, obscuring the far bank. Behind the barge, a couple of small Police tugs are shown moored nearby.] LM: And here we are at the river, gentlemen. In a couple of hours from now, this barge will be the scene of one of the most unique matches in IIWF history. I can tell you, it is absolutely freezing out here tonight -- spring may be just around the corner, but the wind is biting, and this fog is extremely cold. I'm standing on the barge that will be the battleground for these two men who have waged such a war in the past couple of months. This deck... [Larry stamps his foot, bringing forth a resounding *CLANG*.] LM: ...is made of steel. There will be no padding down here -- if somebody gets bodyslammed or suplexed on this surface, it's sure as heck going to hurt. [Larry gestures towards the sides of the barge, which don't have high barriers to prevent careless passengers from tumbling overboard.] LM: As you can see, this boat was designed for carrying cargo. This thing isn't exactly a cruise liner, gentlemen, and there are no barriers. Either -- or both -- of these men could end up in the Thames with just one wrong move. [Larry walks towards the bridge area, up a short flight of stairs into the small control deck, in which stand the Barnacle Brothers, Bluto and Seadog, their face painted in wide grins as they fiddle with the primitive controls of the barge -- despite it being moored to the spot.] LM: And here we finally see the Barnacle Brothers in their element. Bluto and Seadog are the captains of this fine vessel, and they'll be navigating the barge as necessary over the course of the evening. Right, gentlemen? BARNACLE BROTHERS: [together] Arr. LM: Indeed. [Larry leaves the control deck and continues around to the stern of the barge, where a number of large wooden crates and metal barrels are stacked up.] LM: This barge was built in Liverpool some forty years ago. She's an old lady of the waterways -- but I guarantee that she has never seen a battle like the one we will witness later tonight when Simon Lebec and Duncan Macbeth meet out here on this barge. [Morton continues round the barge, stepping between coils of rope and chain, large oars for a lifeboat apparently long since removed from the barge, and arrives back at the clear open steel deck, where the helicopter's engine has once again been started up.] LM: I'll be reporting on this match live on the scene from this helicopter, and there are a number of support boats in the vicinity -- the London Metropolitan River Police have kindly provided us with four escort vessels for tonight's event. The entourage is now going to move down the Thames towards Tower Bridge in the heart of the English capital, ready for Simon Lebec and Duncan Macbeth to be ferried out at the start of this extraordinary match. Until then, gentlemen, this is Larry Morton, on the River Thames. Back to you at ringside. [Morton moves to get back into the helicopter, which lifts off from the deck of the barge, a large searchlight mounted on the front clicking on and cutting through the fog as the aircraft gains altitude, cutting through the fog and picking out the form of the barge which will later on be a battleground. Cut back to the broadcast table at ringside, as the capacity crowd applauds the segment.] TD: Larry Morton there, our roving reporter for the evening. That's going to be an incredible match, Steve Roberts. SR: I can barely wait, Dross. Let's get it on! TD: I understand that earlier this evening, Simon Lebec was spotted on the River Thames by our camera crew. Let's go to that footage: [Cut to footage captioned, "Earlier Tonight." "The Savior" Simon Lebec is seated at the edge of a dock as the night begins to draw in. With a cigarette in one hand, Lebec takes out a prayer book, and begins reading aloud:] SL: "Disturb us, O Lord when we are too well pleased wit' ourselves, when our dreams have come true 'cause we dreamed too little, when we arrived in safety 'cause we sailed too close to th' shore. Disturb us, O Lord when wit' th' 'bundance of the things we possess, we have lost our thirst for th' water o' Life; when havin' fallen in love wit' time, we have ceased to dream of Eternity; and in our efforts to build th' new earth have allowed our vision for th' New Heaven ta grow dim." [Lebec pauses, looking into the camera.] Pr'haps th' Lord has done disturbed me fer a reason. Pr'haps it were a wake-up call. Pr'haps I were too damn concerned 'bout material possessions, that I damn well lost sight o' what was truly important ta me... respect. And pr'haps I didn't dream. Dream 'bout bein' on top o' th' mountain. [Lebec shakes his head] Or pr'haps... I weren't never givin th' chance. Chance ta be top dog. Chance ta lead. So... pr'haps Steve Roberts is right. Pr'haps I ain't never beaten Kowalski or Hardin. But pr'haps... just pr'haps... it's 'cause I never faced 'em. [Lebec nods once more, with intensity growing in his eyes] But now... now I get th' chance. Th' chance at Macbeth. Top dog. [Lebec continues reading:] "Stir us, O Lord ta dare more boldly, ta venture on wider seas, where storms shall show Thy mastery, where losin' sight o' land we shall find th' stars." [Lebec jumps to his feet with the excitement of a child, hopping into a rowboat.] I ain't waitin' fer Ring Wars. Th' Thames awaits. [Lebec sits and begins rowing madly away from the dock. As Lebec rows away, the camera picks up his comments:] In th' name of Him who pushed back th' horizons o' our hopes an' invited th' brave ta follow Him. Amen! [Camera fades as Lebec's rowboat grows smaller and smaller in the distance of the night-blanketed Thames. Cut back to the broadcast table at ringside.] SR: Totally nuts, Dross. He's lost it. TD: Presumably Lebec will make his own way to the barge in time for tonight's match. Indeed, we're now just minutes away from the beginning of tonight's incredible pay-per-view -- and don't forget that in addition to these championship matches, we'll see all manner of other spectacular battles... of which one of the most eagerly-awaited, perhaps, is that between Gunnar "Grizzly" Gaines and Jimmy "the Meatman" Steele. What a tragic loss to the Gaines family this week, with the miscarriage of Cheryl Gaines' baby, as we heard last night on "Countdown". SR: Even the Soundbite draws the line at gags about dead babies, baby dolls. TD: Certainly this unthinkable incident has added another dimension to the battle between Gaines and the Meatman. Let's take a brief look at the history going into this one. ------------------------------- PREVIEW -------------------------------- COFFIN COOLER MATCH: Gunnar "Grizzly" Gaines vs. Jimmy "Meatman" Steele ------------------------------- PREVIEW -------------------------------- [Cut to footage captioned, "IIWF Saturday Night: 7 February 1998" as Steve "the Fury" Kowalski and Jimmy "the Meatman" Steele battle it out for the World Heavyweight Championship. A man wearing black boots, blue jeans, and a red-and-blue checked flannel lumberjack shirt makes his way to ringside. He is, strangely, also wearing a big puffy chef's hat, and is carrying a bottle of HP Sauce in one hand. Tim Dross provides a voice over:] VO: The debut of Portland legend Gunnar "Grizzly" Gaines sent shockwaves around the wrestling world. The former EWA World Champion started right at the top in the IIWF -- with Steve "the Fury" Kowalski. [The original soundtrack fades in as the footage continues:] SR: ...hang on, what's that lumberjack guy doing?  TD: He's got that side of venison that Steele brought in to the ring, and he's pouring steak sauce all over it!  Now he's taking a big bite... this is absurd! SR: Hey, buddy!  Don't hog it all for yourself!  Tear me off a hunk of that! [Kowalski is just moments away from Skullpumping Steele, when the man in the flannel shirt at ringside calls out to the Fury, holding the side of venison out to the IIWF champion and calling out "Hey, Killer!  Ya want a bite?  Puts hairs on yer chest, ya know!"  The champ stares at the stranger with a mixture of confusion and disdain, while the Meatman, still hooked by the arms, sees the stranger holding his venison slab, and in a burst of fury, breaks Kowalski's hold and storms over to the ropes, demanding that the stranger give the meat back!] TD: Well, now we have a truly bizarre situation.  This stranger, pardon the pun, apparently has a bone to pick with the IIWF Champion, but now Jimmy Steele is having words with the flannel-shirted stranger, demanding that he give him the meat! SR: I hear that all the time from Maggie Paris, Dross.  She's a changed lady after all that surgery, I tell ya. TD: Please, Steve,  this is hardly the time for... oh my goodness!  The stranger just splashed that steak sauce into Steele's eyes! [The Meatman reels back in absolute agony, tearing at his eyes, as the camera picks up a shot of his face doused in HP Sauce!  Steele collapses on the mat and flops about, writhing in pain, as the stranger tosses the side of venison aside, and it lands on the announcers' table right in front of Roberts as the stranger climbs into the ring!] SR: YES!  Good food, good meat, good God, let's eat! [As D'Amato calls for the bell to signal a no-contest, the stranger bolts over to the prone Meatman and scoops him up in an impressive display of power, heaving him into the air and driving him into the mat with a high-impact slam variant!  Huge heel pop from the crowd!] TD: That maneuver... I've seen that before, Steve!  Oh my goodness, it can't be... SR: [chewing] Hmmpffphh? [While the stranger busies himself with the Meatman, Kowalski suddenly turns and points down to the announcers' table at Steve Roberts, beckoning to the announcer.  Roberts quickly drops his side of venison, grabs the roll of quarters from the table, and tosses them up into the ring at the Fury!] TD: That's what he told you to do? SR: Hey, he offered me a case of Mooselips. Sue me. [Kowalski reaches out to catch the roll, but suddenly, from out of nowhere, the flannel-shirted stranger steps in front of the Fury, and snatches the quarters out of the air!  The surprise on Kowalski's face quickly changes to one of pain, as the stranger whirls with the quarters in his hand and connects with a hard right to the Fury's temple, knocking him senseless!  Incredible heel pop!  The stranger looks down at the two stunned wrestlers, laughing with malicious glee, and pulls off the chef's hat, letting his long hair spill out.] TD: It _is_ him!  Steve, that's Gunnar "Grizzly" Gaines! SR: [chewing again] Whmmmphh? TD: Gunnar Gaines is a wrestling legend, Steve Roberts!  Two years ago, he was named the number one wrestler in the world by the RSPWF, he retired the EWA Heavyweight title when that reputed federation was forced to shut down... [The footage continues as the soundtrack fades out once more, and Tim Dross' voice-over fades back in:] VO: Gaines may have wanted Kowalski, but that night, he made an enemy in the impressive rookie, Jim Steele. And Steele took the very first opportunity he could to answer Gaines' challenge: [Cut to footage captioned, "IIWF Saturday Night: 21 February 1998." Gunnar Gaines gives an in-ring interview, which has the crowd jeering loudly as he continues to speak:] GGG: In fact, I'll let the victims pick THEMSELVES. So... anyone back there in the locker room -- and I know you're all glued to the monitor -- I double, no, TRIPLE dare you to get your ass out here and try to stand toe to toe with The Baddest Thang Running. Because so far in the Double Eye, no one -- I mean NO ONE -- has taken on the simple challenge I issue every God damn day. [Thumbing to himself, boastfully.] Beat me -- if you can. [Gunnar drops the mic and waits for someone to come out. Soon, the arena resonates to the sound of * BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! * Huge pop! The entrance curtains are swept aside as a huge refrigerated truck backs through into the top of the aisle, its rear and reverse lights creating big lens flares, hazard lights flashing away. There is a hiss from the brakes as the truck pulls to a halt, and the crowd is now in full swing: "MEAT! MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!" Gaines simply nods his head in the ring, and motions for the Meatman to bring it on. The back gate of the refrigerated truck slowly rolls up into the roof of the vehicle, revealing the inside of the truck, or at least, what can be seen of the inside of the truck. Several large carcasses hang on hooks towards the back of the truck, but it is dark inside, and as the mist rolls out in curling wisps, there is no sign of the Meatman. Gaines is now getting a little impatient.] GGG: Show yourself, then! You can't beat me if you stay in your little truck! [Still there is no further movement from within the truck, but still the crowd chants: "MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!" Growing infuriated, Gaines makes his way up the aisle, warily approaching the van.] SR: Come on, Meatguy! Whip us up a salami sandwich! [Gunnar Gaines finally reaches the back of the truck, and he pushes on the carcasses within his reach, the dead animals swinging noiselessly. The fans begin to hush in anticipation as Gaines pulls himself up onto the loading platform at the back of the truck, then gingerly steps inside, and... SNAP! Gaines howls! Huge pop!] TD: Oh my! What the hell was that?! SR: Gaines' leg just came clean off, Dross! It just came clean off! TD: Don't be ridiculous, Steve Roberts -- oh my! Clothesline! Gunnar Gaines has just been clotheslined out the back of that van -- and he has a bear trap on his leg! Gaines has a bear trap on his leg! [Sure enough, Gaines lies, more stunned than hurt, in the aisle, his right leg ensnared within the clamping metal jaws of a bear trap, although they are apparently not sharp enough to cut into his leg. Gaines reaches down, furious, attempting to pull the trap from his leg, as the Meatman finally emerges from the back of the van. He stands on the loading platform and produces a cordless mic:] JS: Give me a grizzly grin, Gaines! Where's your grin now, Bearmeat? [The fans continue to cheer as Steele hops down from the platform... CLANG!] TD: Oh my! Oh my! Gunnar Gaines just lashed out with that foot snared in the bear trap -- and he caught the Meatman square in the belly! SR: Would you look at this, Dross? Gaines is getting up! [Sure enough, Gunnar Gaines drags himself, with some difficulty, to his feet, and the Meatman, who had slumped backwards against the cill of the truck, staggers forwards again. The two men begin slugging it out, much to the delight of the crowd!] TD: We have a pier sixer, folks! It seems nothing will stop Gunnar Gaines! [Gaines again lashes out with his bear trap-clad foot, catching Steele in the knee and knocking the Meatman to the floor. Gaines raises his trapped foot... and brings it crashing down on Steele's ribs!] TD: Oh my! Gunnar Gaines is furious with the Meatman, and he is letting him know in no uncertain terms! We need some help out here! [As if by magic, the Jobber Justice Squad push past the truck and flood into the aisle, dragging Gaines away from the Meatman, who struggles to his feet. The two men again go nose to nose, the fearless prelim wrestlers trying to keep them apart. Further security personnel descend on the aisle and eventually succeed in dragging Gaines to the back. The meat truck splutters into life and then disappears back into the depths of the Stadium. The soundtrack fades once more:] VO: But Jim Steele was soon to find out that Gaines gives just as good as he gets. [Cut to footage captioned, "IIWF Saturday Night: 7 March 1998." Gunnar Gaines and the Meatman are wrestling one-on-one. The Meatman measures the Grizzly, then dashes to the ropes and comes off fast, preparing to hit Gaines with another clothesline attempt. But suddenly, the stunned Gaines somehow regains his co-ordination, and as Steele approaches, he bends low at the last moment and backdrops Steele over the ropes! The crowd responds with a shocked pop as the Meatman flies over the top rope, and tumbles down into the back of a refrigerator van, driven by Gaines' father, Larry Gaines, parked at ringside!] TD: Oh my goodness! Gunnar Gaines just tossed Jimmy Steele out of the ring, and he has landed in the back of that van! He could be seriously hurt! SR: Look at Gaines, Dross! He's climbing out of the ring, and he's slamming the doors shut! [As Steele lies in the back of the freezing cold van, his head lolling back and forth as he struggles to collect his wits, Gaines races to the back of the van and pulls one door shut! Gaines manages to swing the second door shut, just as the Meatman is about to get out! Slam! Gaines quickly clamps a padlock onto the door handles, and he jumps on to the back bumper, leaning around the corner and giving a signal to his father, who is still behind the wheel! The van's engine roars to life, and the van makes its way up the aisle and out of the Opera House, the sound of loud banging within the van clearly heard over the fans' jeers and boos as the Meatman struggles to escape the freezing cold confines of the refrigerator van! Cut to footage from later the same evening, as a team of emergency personnel fight to get the Meatman out of the back of the van. Finally, the technicians spray down the padlock with a can of freon, and this time, the frozen padlock shatters after a few hammer blows. The techies quickly fling the doors open to reveal an unconscious Jimmy Steele, face down in front of the doors, his body covered in frost and his hands bloody from hammering away at the steel sides of the van!] TD: Oh my God! Get him out of there! [An EMT crew is quick to pull the Meatman from his frigid prison, wrapping him in a thick wool blanket and gurneying him off to a waiting ambulance, which starts its lights flashing as it speeds off into the night. The camera cuts back to a shot of Gunnar "Grizzly" Gaines, chomping on his cigar as he grins from ear to ear, apparently quite pleased at the way the evening has turned out for him. Again, the voice over cuts in:] VO: But Gaines would be Grizzly Grinning on the other side of his face just seven days later, after the Meatman managed to infect Gaines' meat supply with food poisoning: [Cut to footage captioned, "IIWF Saturday Night: 14 March 1998". Gaines and the Meatman are forced to wrestle on the same side against Luke Steele and Christopher Stonebreaker. On the Meatman's cue, a clip starts to roll on the videotron. We see the inside of a butcher shop; Gunnar "Grizzly" Gaines enters and orders some meat. The butcher is large, with a black beard, sunglasses and a tonque.] Butcher: We got a special on flank steak today, sir. Marinated in wood grain alcohol fer the discriminatin' palate. GGG: [confused] Huh? Fine, fine. Gimme ten pounds. [Gains exits. The butcher removes his sunglasses and false beard, revealing himself to be Jimmy "The Meatman" Steele. Steele turns to the camera and gives a mock "Grizzly" grin. Fade.] TD: "Wood grain alcohol"?! SR: Somebody call Oprah! [Gaines, having just seen this clip, is aghast. He starts to shake in a cold sweat, and puts both his hands to his mouth.] SR: THAR SHE BLOWS! [Gunnar stumbles to a neutral corner and vomits all over the canvas. Moments later, Gaines grabs a bucket from Luke Steele, and vomits into it. All the while, Jimmy Steele is sitting in his corner, laughing so hard that tears are starting to come down his face. But his laughter stops as Gaines stumbles over and vomits on the Meatman. Gaines wipes some of the vomit from his mouth, and, apparently all spewed-out, seems to regain some of his colour. He then refocusses on The Meatman and starts levelling some serious kicks into him. Meatman gets up and the two start to trade blows in their corner. Again, Dross' voice-over chimes in once more:] VO: But nobody could have predicted the effect that Steele's actions would eventually have. [The shot fades to black. Cut to footage from Gaines' most recent interview:] GGG: You know some tricks but you don't _think things out_ like I do! You never thought of the _consequences_! And now you've done something to my ing FAMILY! Is _that_ what you wanted, hole? [He grabs a row of lockers and spills them over to the ground with his bare hands.] GGG: You look at me and you see a cartoon -- like YOURSELF! There's a _man_ behind all that, idiot! A man with a FAMILY! And you've messed with that family without even planning on it because you're a complete and utter MORON! We're talking about -- I can't even -- we're -- my KID, Meatman! My hopes and dreams! All the love in my life! That's right, moron! I said LOVE! And it's gone! Beat me? [He shakes his head, dead serious.] It's not even a question. There's not even a chance, son. You've messed with the Gaines family and your ass is going into _permanent_ cold storage. [The shot fades to black again. Dross once more provides a voice-over:] VO: A tragic loss. A war out of hand. Two men, one freezer. Tonight, either Gunnar Gaines or Jimmy Steele goes into cold storage. [Cut back to ringside and a sombre Tim Dross as the fans once again applaud the video segment.] TD: Obviously, our thoughts and prayers are with the Gaines family as they go through this very traumatic experience. I understand that IIWF President Daniel Spreadbury attempted to convince Gunnar Gaines not to compete here tonight, offering him compassionate leave -- but Gaines wasn't interested. I'm really not sure that having this match go ahead is the right thing, Steve Roberts. SR: Let 'em work it out man to man, Dross. This ain't no namby-pamby counselling service -- this is the Double Eye Double U F'n' F, baby dolls. TD: No, Steve Roberts. This is sports entertainment, and a miscarriage is a real human tragedy. That notwithstanding, the Coffin Cooler Match is going to be unforgettable -- but I hope for the right reasons. You'll have noticed, folks, that Team Sychosys is not at ringside here in the stadium tonight. Joe Petrow and Maurice McArthur arrived, along with their Sychopaths, earlier this evening... and our cameras were on hand. Let's go to that footage. [Cut to footage captioned, "Earlier Tonight." The scene opens in the parking lot of Wembley Stadium, as technical crews unload the last pieces of equipment from the huge articulated lorries which are parked there. A pair of headlights appears in the distance, and as the vehicle approaches, it becomes apparent that it is a hired coach. The large bus pulls to a halt, and the doors hiss open. Out pour dozens of rowdy Sychopaths, all dressed in military fatigues with faces blacked with boot polish, followed by the similarly-attired Joe Petrow and Maurice McArthur. Petrow issues a couple of commands to the Sychopaths, and then hoists his duffel bag over his shoulder as a squad of security staff come out to greet Team Sychosys, ushering them into the backstage area. Cut back to live shots of ringside, where the Sychopaths are cheering and waving wildly. A stray kiwi fruit hits the camera lens, exploding into a green pulp. Cut back to Dross and Roberts at ringside.] TD: The tag team championship scene has really been reignited in the last few months here in the IIWF -- and tonight, the three top teams will battle it out in one of the most unique and thrilling speciality matches of them all. Let's take a look at the Seven Tables of Fear match. ------------------------------- PREVIEW -------------------------------- SEVEN TABLES OF FEAR: Down Boys vs. Natural Predators vs. Team Sychosys ------------------------------- PREVIEW -------------------------------- [Cut to footage captioned, "IIWF Ring Wars 3: 22 March 1997". Joe Petrow and the Dirt Dog Unique Allah are wrestling in front of a jam-packed Toronto Skydome crowd. Dave Bacon provides the voice-over:] VO: The ultimate show-stealer: the 1997 match of the year. It was one year ago, almost to the day, that the IIWF first saw a Seven Tables of Fear Match. Two of the new wave of IIWF superstars -- "Sychosys" Joe Petrow and Dirt Dog Unique Allah -- found themselves catapulted to superstardom on the back of this epoch-making encounter. [The footage pans over the seven tables ranged around ringside, each adorned with a different portrait.] VO: The rules are simple... [Sparkplug Lee stands admiring his portrait on one of the outside tables, and the original soundtrack provides his introductions:] SL: Ladies and gentlemen. The following Ring Wars 3 contest is a very special SEVEN TABLES OF FEAR matchup! [Big Pop] There will be no pinfalls, no disqualification, no countout and no submission. The ONLY way to win is for one man to put his opponent through four out of the seven ringside tables! [The screen flashes with a huge digit: "1". Petrow has laid Allah out on the Tim Dross table, and then hurls himself towards it with a modified Starsault Press, spinning through no fewer than two and a quarter revolutions... and crashes into... nothing but the picture of Dross! Big Dirt Dog Pop!] TD: Unique escaped! Unique escaped! It's 1-0 in favour of Dirt Dog Unique Allah! [Another digit: "2". Petrow bounces off the backropes and hurls himself outside in a suicide dive... and IS SMACKED dead by a swing of the Sparkplug Lee folding table by Dirt Dog! MANIC POP!] TD: It's two to nothing! It's two to nothing! Dirt Dog just swung that folding table like a graphite tennis racket and hit Petrow with a forehand that cracked that Sparkplug Lee table clean in half! [Another digit: "3". Petrow lays Allah out on the Becky LaRue table, delivers two reverse knife edge chops... and then grabs a table himself...] SR: That's my table! Petrow's gonna use my table! What's he gonna do, Dross? [Petrow grabs the Roberts table, folding the legs, and sprints into the aisle. Petrow stops at the midpoint, turns around and exaggeratedly stomps his foot twice while slapping his knee... place the table in front of his face... and charges... Petrow races down the aisle, running as if there were wings on his shoes, the painted visage of Steve Roberts blurring as Petrow reaches ringside... and leaps from a chair... to the Spanish announce table... where, like an Olympic triple jumper, his velocity increases exponentially... as he then leaps to a television monitor... and then amazingly, incomprehensibly flies down...] TD & SR: Oh my! [Crazed pop from the capacity Skydome crowd! The digit "4" flashes across the screen.] TD: It's two to two! It's all tied up! [Another digit: "5". Petrow leaps out of the ring carrying the Daniel Spreadbury table, but Allah, lying on the Steve Owens table, sticks his boots into the painted face of the IIWF President, breaking the table over Joe Petrow's head... but the momentum built from the huge moonsault does not abate... and Petrow continues his drop to the Steve Owens table... smashing Unique on through... it's three apiece! Another digit: "6".] TD: Unbelievable. Unbelievable. I don't know what else to say. SR: I do Dross, it's 3-3! It's 3-3 and these people are absolutely beside themselves -- what a great freaking match! [Another digit flashes across the screen: "7". Petrow and Allah give each other a look of utter astonishment... and then quickly apply mutually sharp facelocks as they sprint together... moving almost as if they were of one mind and four legs... and then launch each other over the top rope in a double flying plancha bulldog that is reminiscent less of a finishing maneuver than of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid running out to meet their certain collective death in a hailstorm of bullets. And then they crash through the table. Ding! Ding! Ding!] SL: Ladies and gentlemen... the referee has ruled this match... A DRAW! A DRAW! [Petrow and Unique lie amidst the wreckage of their double bulldog onto Bulldog Brown's table. Together they rise and stare into each others eyes -- perhaps out of sheer exhaustion -- perhaps out of a degree of mutual respect. The shot freezes, as Dave Bacon's voice chimes in once more:] VO: Tonight, the IIWF will witness the second ever Seven Tables of Fear Match -- but tonight, no fewer than _six_ men will be battling it out, and the prize at stake will be the IIWF World Tag Team Championships. [Cut to footage of the Down Boys, Adam Peterson and Dan Oliver, making their way down to ringside behind their mouthy manager, Awesome T, the IIWF World Tag Team belts raised aloft.] VO: The current top dogs are the Down Boys. The smallest team in the IIWF -- although their manager undoubtedly has the largest mouth. Neither Peterson nor Oliver has ever participated in a match of this nature, but their extended experience in Japan will stand them in good stead. [Cut to footage of the Natural Predators, Grey Phoenix having to restrain the disappointed Bear after he was pinned by the Down Boys to drop the tag team titles.] VO: The Natural Predators are former tag champs, and this is their shot at redemption. The biggest team in the match, Bear and the Grey Phoenix have been trained well... but are they mentally prepared for this gruelling match? [Cut to footage of Team Sychosys battling the Prophets of Rage in their recent Congo Death Match.] VO: And finally, the team on a quest for respect. Team Sychosys are consistently at the centre of controversy, and tonight is likely to be no different. However, Joe Petrow is the only man in this match with any experience of Seven Tables stipulations. Could it be that tonight, Team Sychosys will finally bury any remaining doubts of the legitimacy of their claim to being one of the top tag teams in the world? [Cut to comments from Joe Petrow, who stands beside "Mr. Majestyk" Maurice McArthur in the pouring rain:] JP: In the Seven Tables of Fear, EVERYTHING is fair! But there's a hell of a price to pay! The Seven Tables of Fear isn't just a fight. It's a whole lot more. It's a virtual lobotomy. [Cut to a fast-paced montage of the seven table spots from the first Seven Tables of Fear Match, accompanied by the digits... "7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2... 1!" Cut back to a close-up of Petrow's face, unblinking as rain water runs off his face like a river:] JP: No more... no more. [Fade. Cut back to Dross and Roberts at ringside, the fans now chanting, "IIWF! IIWF! IIWF!" in recognition of the unique IIWF match stipulations.] TD: That's going to be quite a match, folks -- and you can only see it right here in the IIWF. Another unique match we'll see tonight is the "King of the Mountain" progressive match featuring no fewer than nine top IIWF superstars, including Steve Manning, whom, I am led to believe, has been desperately trying to buy the #1 spot in this match... just for the opportunity to fight more people. SR: Nobody ever said Manning was smart, but he sure loves to go. I give him props for that. TD: Let's go backstage to Manning. [Cut to footage captioned, "Moments Ago." Steve Manning's locker room. The room is nearly pitch black, the silhouette of, presumably, Steve Manning, is seen standing in front of the camera.] SM: Tick...tock...tick...tock... [Laughter.] SM: You hear that, boys? That's the sound of eight careers, slowly winding down. This match is gonna be the death of eight other men. I promise ya, I will draw first blood tonight, and second blood, and third blood, and fourth blood, and so on, and so on, and so on! [Manning laughs again.] SM: Y'see, there's a difference between me and the other men in this match. I fight six or seven guys on my way to church Sunday morning, this is nothin'! I'll be fresh as a daisy the entire match. The rest of these abominable frauds can't take it. After one or two matches, they'll have more wear 'n' tear on 'em than a mechanical bull at a dyke bar. [Manning's laughter again resounds the locker room.] SM: This is what is known as an orgy of destruction, boys. When I get to grab that ringbell and go "CLANG! CLANG! CLANG!" against someone's skull! Ahhh... now that's what I call a climax! Seeya in the ring, boys! [A cigarette is lit, lighting up Manning's face just a little bit, looking quite frightening in the dim light. The scene cuts back to the broadcast table.] TD: I believe that visit to the psychiatrist made that man even worse. SR: Lord knows it made Dr. Floyd's life worse. Has he begun eating solid foods again? TD: No, that'll be a few weeks at least. Another man in that big "King of the Mountain" encounter is the grizzled veteran from Ottawa, Canada: Eddy "Flap" Jacks. [Cut to footage captioned, "Earlier This Week." A seedy, run-down bar in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Eddy Jacks, weathered-looking and grim, sits in a table at the rear of the bar, slumped against the bar. Attired in massive grey trenchcoat and black cap, the enormous Canadian gazes idly out a nearby window.] EJ: All them people. [He takes a massive swig from his stein, quickly wiping the moustache of foam away with a swipe of his meaty right hand.] All them heroes. [He looks at the stein, a sardonic smile forming at the corner of his mouth.] All them chances. [He takes another drink from the stein, emptying it.] An’ then ya forget. An’ then ya lose focus. An’ then ya lose. Heroes. Ya got ‘em everywhere...fightin’ like they know somethin’. Fightin’ fer stuff...stuff they don’t know nothin’ bout. Fightin’ fer nothin’. I know ‘bout heroes. I useta be a hero...’course, that wadn’t for too damn long. [Pause.] Heroes die quick. Heroes lose, burnin’ up ‘cuz they gave too much. Lookit all ‘ose lights. Lookit ‘em. An’ ya think workin’ fer reason, workin’ fer soul... ya think that’s gonna save ya? Hell no. Like Roberts, bless ‘is soul, said this week....I ain’t in ‘is fer the glory. I ain’t in it fer the belts. I thought about it, sure, an’ I laughed about it.... [Grin.] Sky’s big an’ black, cowboys. Big an’ black, y’see, ‘cuz it’s like a mirror, reflectin’ what earth’s ‘bout...reflectin’ our souls. If ‘ere is a god, an’ I ain’t so sure whether ‘ere is, he’s tellin’ us about ourselves. [Jacks reaches into his trenchcoat and removes a bruised banana.] Squashed fruit ain’t_worth_a_damn. Ya think Spready an’ his bookers’d realize that. ‘Stead, I’m gettin’ fed the Double-Eye’s leavin’s. [Pause.] Ryan Howard. IIWF’s lost boy. In the fold, outta the fold...it don’t matter. This ain’t yer match, slim. [Pause.] Charles Scheffield. Ya beat Byron. Ya beat Steele. An’ I only got one lil’ question: what’re_ya_gonna_do_now? Ain’t nowhere ta go, Chucky...but down. [Pause.] Moxy Blue. Pint_squeak. Gimmicky lil’ bastard. Respect? Hell no. [Pause.] Ike Sampson. I fought yer ass. Wadn’t impressed. Like Roberts said, murderer, ya ain’t nothin’ but a heartless bastard pimpin’ out ‘ere fer yer people. [Pause.] Damien Lestat. Ya punked me good, freak. I’ll give ya that. Touch me in the ring, son, an’ you’ll be needin’ a procto...whate’er...ta get that cooler outta yer ass. [Pause.] Fitzy-gerald. Liked me on War Room? Yer ‘bout ta see the sequel, ace. They say the Titanic wadn’t gonna sink twice. It did. Eddy Fitzy-gerald’s gonna get wrecked again. [Pause.] Derek Mota. I seen ya b’fore. Ya kissed my ass all sweet an’ nice when you wuz in my fed, boy...’course, this ain’t the SCRA...an’ I ain’t nearly as forgivin’. [Pause....wide, protracted grin.] Steve Manning. I don’t know ya that well, cuz, but I’m bettin’... if yer_at_all_like_Quigley... yer ass knows when ta step out, knows when it’s hopeless. [Jacks tosses the banana onto the floor, continuing to grin.] Garbage. I ain’t got no time for garbage. This match means somethin’...but it don’t mean everythin’. [Pause.] I been in some real battles... ’ere ain’t no denyin’ that fact. Ring Wars might be my last hurrah. I been sayin’ I’m gonna walk out wit’ a bang. Mebbe it’ll be here. Mebbe it won’t be. [Jacks winks.] Mebbe I’m doin’ this fer_the_cruiser_belt. Mebbe I’m doin’ it fer a real belt. Guess yer all gonna wait_an’_see. [Fade. Cut back to the broadcast table at ringside.] TD: Wait and see indeed -- but the wait is very nearly over, folks! You'll see that "King of the Mountain" match in less than an hour from now -- and don't forget, the winner of that match may challenge the IIWF Champion of his choice on the next edition of IIWF Saturday Night! SR: Jacks as Cruiserweight Champion? Gotta loves the big guy, Dross. TD: Which neatly brings us to tonight's Cruiserweight Championship match, Steve Roberts, to be contested inside a fifteen foot high steel cage. With tensions running higher than ever, one has to wonder whether the cage has been introduced to keep the competitors in -- or the interlopers out. Let's take a look at the history behind this one. ------------------------------- PREVIEW -------------------------------- CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP CAGE MATCH: Takezo Musashi vs. Icehawk ------------------------------- PREVIEW -------------------------------- [Cut to footage captioned, "IIWF Saturday Night: 31 January 1998". The "Enigma" Takezo Musashi defends his IIWF Cruiserweight Championship belt against Icehawk. Tim Dross provides the voice-over once more:] VO: A former three-time co-holder of the World Tag Team Championships, and the most hated man in the IIWF -- the man whose campaign to destroy IIWF Vice-President Gregg Osterhout's "Wrestle Clean" initiative began as soon as the programme was announced. The "Enigma" Takezo Musashi quickly showed exactly what he meant. [Cut to various spots from the match: Musashi now hoists Icehawk up as if he were about to execute a belly-to-back suplex, but instead of dumping him shoulders first, Musashi lifts 'Hawk into a more vertical position -- and drives him head first into the mat! Huge pop!] TD: That's the patented backdriver suplex! This one could be over! ['Hawk rushes at Musashi, and clotheslines him over the top rope, the two men tumbling to the outside... and both landing on their feet! Icehawk looks momentarily surprised -- and that is all the time the Enigma needs to suddenly charge at the challenger, flooring him with a short-arm clothesline!] TD: What agility from these two superstars! That certainly caught Icehawk by surprise, and he paid for it! [Icehawk, who still seems to be running purely on instinct, goes for a lockup with Musashi -- but the "Enigma" floats over, and drops the Fin with a double-arm DDT! Huge pop!] TD: Oh my! What a DDT from the Champion! Icehawk may be out here -- and the "Enigma" now, going to the top rope! SR: Are we gonna see the Starsault Press, Dross? [Musashi balances on the top turnbuckle, poised momentarily with cameras flashing all around the Qualcomm Stadium... and then launches himself with a Frog Splash! Big pop as Musashi again connects! Sanders drops to the canvas again, and makes the count: 1 -- 2 -- kickout! Big pop from the seventy thousand strong crowd! Musashi stirs after a few precious seconds of rest, drags Icehawk back to his feet, and places his head between his legs, as if setting up for a second powerbomb. He hoists the Fin into the air -- and Icehawk slides out! Icehawk slides out over Musashi's back, spins around, and rushes the "Enigma" into the ropes, pulling him over backwards for the roll-up... but Musashi is able to keep the roll going, and ends up on top of Icehawk, sliding his legs over the Fin's shoulders to lock him up! Sanders drops to the mat again: 1 -- 2 -- no! Somehow, 'Hawk gets his shoulders out! Big, big pop!] TD: This is one of the fastest-paced matches I think I've ever seen, Steve Roberts. What a show these two men are putting on for this capacity crowd! [Musashi hits his opponent with a palm thrust to the throat! Icehawk gags and clutches at his throat, stunned by the illegal move, while Musashi runs to the ropes and hits him with a flying cross body -- but he overshoots with the velocity a little and both men go flying over the top rope! Huge pop from the fans as they hit the floor hard!] TD: Musashi, now -- he's laying Icehawk out on the steel guard rail at ringside... and now he's getting back into the ring. What's going on here? [The crowd are going crazy as Musashi climbs back up into the ring, breaking Sanders' count, runs to the strands, bounds off, and comes flying over the top rope with a somersault plancha down upon the groggy body of Icehawk, whose back is driven hard into the steel under the impact. Huge, huge pop! Musashi goes back to climb back to the apron for a second dive... but something is wrong. The crowd's cheers begin to die away as Chuck Sanders hurriedly leaves the ring and bends over Icehawk.] TD: Oh... oh my. This arena has just gone silent, folks, and it is because Icehawk is clearly seriously injured outside the ring. His back -- and possibly his neck -- was driven into that steel barrier mighty hard, and... well... this is awful. We have a medical team on the way down to ringside now. [As the medical crew gets Icehawk onto the backboard, a number of other IIWF stars, some no longer in their wrestling gear, trickle out into the aisle: Intercontinental Champion Duncan Macbeth, Bear of the Natural Predators, Marty Warnett and Charles Scheffield all appear in the aisle, and Harlequins Tragedy and Comedy also make their way down towards the ring. The concerned wrestlers surround the gurney as it is wheeled up the aisle, obscuring any view of Icehawk. The arena is still eerily silent... but a smattering of almost apologetic applause breaks the ice, and soon the applause builds into a huge, huge cheer of appreciation for Icehawk as he is wheeled up the aisle and out of sight. Over this footage comes the voice-over of Tim Dross:] VO: In the blink of an eye, a promising young career appeared to have been... [The screen cuts to black.] VO: ...snuffed out. [Pause. As the hard-rocking beats of a generic heavy metal tune kick in, the shot fades back up on the entrance of the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi in his "chaos" persona, his black loose-fitting karate trousers and red pentacles scrawled across his face. Dross' voice continues:] VO: But for Musashi, it was first blood. Icehawk's career-threatening injury merely spurred on Musashi's destructive side... and the "Enigma" is simply out of control. Icehawk would fall again... [Cut to a fast-paced montage of the numerous attacks Musashi has perpetrated in the ensuing weeks: Musashi gives an in-ring interview, which is interrupted by the arrival of Icehawk, who hobbles out to the ring on a walking stick, his neck braced. Cut to the original soundtrack:] TD: Oh my goodness! The Enigma has just nailed Icehawk right in the face with the title belt! This situation is outta control! [Musashi is unrelenting, and he lunges in behind Icehawk and whips the title belt across his back with a crack that resounds across the arena! The crowd begin to respond with fervent heel heat, and Icehawk attempts to stagger away, but without his cane, he is no match for the speed of the Enigma. Musashi hauls back with the belt again, whipping the hard metal front piece across Icehawk's spine, and a cry of pain escapes from the young man's throat! Icehawk almost keels over, but manages to grab onto the second rope, and hangs onto it for dear life. Musashi stands over the body of Icehawk, triumph smouldering in the already flaming depths of his eyes, and raises the title belt up over head, the metal edge pointed downwards...] TD: Somebody has got to stop this carnage! This could be the blow that finishes off Icehawk for good! SR: That crazy Korean bastard has well and truly snapped! That konton na tamthingy he keeps blabbering about is on the loose! [Many in the crowd turn away in disgust, others just stand gaping in slack-jawed horror, as the Enigma brings the hard metal edge of the belt crashing down, right into Icehawk's pain and nerve centre, right into the source of his brutal injury, right down into the back of his neck with colossal force. Icehawk's jaw drops open in a soundless scream of agony, his back arching, jolting upwards, then dropping numbly down to the mat. Cut to a few minutes later as Icehawk is stretchered out of the arena again, accompanied by his friend and former partner Edmund Fitzgerald. Tim Dross' voice-over resumes:] VO: ...and even the actions of his allies couldn't keep Musashi down. [Cut to footage of the "Enigma" being attacked in the aisle on his way to the ring by the Natural Predators and Edmund Fitzgerald. Despite being manhandled by the three larger men, somehow, Musashi fights to his feet, and desperately throws kicks and chops. For one amazing moment, his fury actually has his opponents back on their heels, but he is soon overwhelmed by the anger of three bigger men who are fighting for the honor of their injured friend.] VO: They merely served to stoke his inner fire yet hotter. [The music picks up in intensity as footage captioned, "IIWF Saturday Night: 21 February 1998" rolls: Puerto Rican legend the Magnificent Carlitos makes an appearance to be honoured for his lifetime achievement, and he issues a challenge:] MC: And as I have been granted the honour of representing Puerto Rico, I would like, right now, in the spirit of sportsmanship, to issue a challenge to one of the superstars of the IIWF. I would like to wrestle a match against one of your finest competitors, and demonstrate before all the world, that Puerto Rican wrestling is as good as the wrestling in Japan or the US! [big pop] I would be a great honour, if one of the IIWF wrestlers would take up my challenge, and wrestle me before all of my countrymen. Think of it not as a battle of nationalities, not as a hate fuelled feud, but as an athletic contest between two great wrestlers! I look forward to an answer for my challenge. [Cut to a few moments later, as Musashi enters the aisle. Carlitos beams down from the ring, taking the time to hold open the ropes for his fellow wrestler, obviously unable to witness the pure psychotic menace radiating from the Enigma's eyes at this distance. Carlitos steps away from the ropes and into centre ring, where he offers his hand in a gesture of sportsmanship to the Enigma, although as he does so, the expression of proud joy on his face seems to waver for a moment, as he senses something not quite right in the gaze of the man standing across the ring from him... A huge pop accelerates in fervour from the entire Juan Lubriel Stadium as the Enigma apparently accepts the offer of sportsmanship from the Magnificient Carlitos. The Puerto Rican veteran warmly shakes his hand, feeling the brotherhood of a fellow competior, anticipating the classic wrestling match to come. However... In the skip of a heartbeat, in one fluid motion, so fast that the shock impact is only registered seconds after the act, Musashi has dipped into his trunks with his free hand and lashed out in the face of the Magnificient Carlitos, who now staggers backwards in surprise and horror, blood pouring from between his eyes. And in the Enigma's hand, glinting in the spotlight despite the fact that its point now drips with crimson, is some kind of sharpened metal shiv... Abruptly, the outpouring of fan support turns into a tidal wave of jeers. Unheeding, the Enigma pirouhettes on one foot, blasting Carlitos directly in the throat with his other heel, flooring the Puerto Rican legend with a devastating spinning savate kick! Musashi grabs the microphone:] TM: Ever get the feeling that things were starting to slip just a little out of control? When your best made plans come to nothing but dust, and all the bedrocks of stability and order come crashing down around you? What I give you is anarchy, and like a true warrior and champion, I don't need to be bound by such petty concerns as rules and sporstmanship and fairplay. A true warrior brings only his ruthlessness and killer instinct to the fields of war. [Cut to a few moments later: with the fans nearly rioting outside the ring, but moving at a deliberately slow pace, so as to fully sink home the awful consequences of his actions, Musashi places Carlitos on the turnbuckles, facing into ring. The Enigma slips out onto the apron, then mounts the buckles himself... he clinches Carlitos around the waist, hefting him up into the air in a belly to back suplex position, then, as the crowd stands slack jawed with horror, drops down and drives his skull down into the arena floor with a pulverising Backdriver Suplex! The shot freezes as the bloody Carlitos lies on the canvas, and Tim Dross' voice-over resumes:] VO: A reign of terror had begun. [Cut to more clips of Musashi attacking other superstars: inciting a riot with his appearance in Puerto Rico to attack Steve Kowalski; coming out from under the ring in Nagano, Japan, to choke Ike Sampson with a television cord; performing a back somersault through a table over which Sampson was sprawled, sending splinters flying everywhere; Musashi pulling Shadoe Rage out of the ring and hitting him with a spinning kick to the side of the head; Musashi nailing Steve Kowalski with the ring bell and leaving him lying; Musashi cracking Shadoe Rage across the head with the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship belt; Musashi brawling with Ike Sampson in the aisleway, only to be waylaid by Richard "Moxy" Blue; Musashi hitting Harlequin Tragedy with the Starsault Press and pinning him; Musashi yet again attacking Icehawk, hitting him with a somersault legdrop across the neck; Musashi brawling in the aisle with both Shadoe Rage and Steve Kowalski; Musashi taking off into the crowd in pursuit of Icehawk... Again, Dross' voice-over resumes:] VO: Nobody has been able to stop Musashi. Tonight, Icehawk steps into the ring for the first time in seven weeks, despite the calls from his medical advisors and his friends to retire. Tonight, Icehawk steps not only into a ring... but into a fifteen foot steel cage. [Cut to a close-up of Musashi's face, the red pentacles painted around the eyes that contain even as yet untapped fury.] VO: Tonight, Icehawk steps into a cage with a beast. Will he walk out the victor... [Cut back to footage of Icehawk being stretchered out of the arena after taking a beating from Musashi.] VO: ...or will he be snuffed out? [Cut to black. Cut back to the broadcast table at ringside.] TD: Judgement day approaches for Icehawk -- just as tonight's big pay-per-view event draws ever closer! If you've not yet made that call, make it now, folks! Possibly the most personal vendetta to be contested here tonight at Ring Wars 5 is that between Serge Annis and Mad Dog Watkins. These two athletes have been going at it since Watkins returned to the IIWF last December. Let's take a look at the history leading up to tonight's Descent Into Hell Scaffold Match! ------------------------------- PREVIEW -------------------------------- DESCENT INTO HELL MATCH: Serge Annis vs. Mad Dog Watkins ------------------------------- PREVIEW -------------------------------- [Cut to footage captioned, "IIWF Saturday Night: 27 December 1997." "Lone Wolf" Brody Thunder, Steve "the Fury" Kowalski and Serge Annis are wrestling in a three-way dance for the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship. The match is well advanced, and all three men look exhausted. The original crowd noise is dimly heard under Dave Bacon's voice-over:] VO: In the heat of the battle, all is fair. And when the smoke clears, only one man can stand victorious. The others... must fall. [Annis reaches down and pulls Brody Thunder away from Steve Kowalski, and hurls him bodily into the turnbuckles! The ring shudders under the impact, and Steve Kowalski is up, rushing the corner, dragging Brody Thunder out of it... He places the champion's head between his legs, hooks his arms behind his back... the crowd begins to scream... the original commentary is heard:] SR: Skullpump! Skullpump! [Kowalski hoists Brody Thunder up into the air, rocking backwards... Serge Annis combines for the spike... Thunder's skull is driven into the mat with punishing force! The fans are going crazy with mixed reactions...] TD: Steve Kowalski is going for the pin! Hold on a second... hold on a damn second! Who the... I don't believe my eyes! SR: It's... It's... It's... [The fans are in an uproar, as a familiar bald and chiselled black man dives beneath the bottom rope and into the ring...] SR: It's Mad Dog Watkins! TD: Mad Dog Watkins is here! Unbelievable! [Watkins rushes up behind Serge Annis, whips him around, grapples him, hauls him up into the air...] SR: Spinebuster Slam! Watkins nails Annis with the Spinebuster Slam! [Steve Kowalski is completely unheeding, however, as he goes for the cover on Brody Thunder... D'Amato is equally unheeding as he registers the cover: 1 -- 2 -- 3!] TD: Brody Thunder is eliminated! Brody Thunder has lost the World's Heavyweight Championship! Brody Thunder is out! SR: [sputtering] But... But... Mad Dog Watkins! [The crowd continues unabated in perhaps the loudest mixed pop that has ever been heard in the IIWF Coliseum. Mad Dog Watkins slips back out of the ring and heads up the aisle, leaving the motionless carcass of Serge Annis behind him... Steve Kowalski rolls off Brody Thunder, and quickly drops atop of Serge Annis for the second pin. D'Amato registers the count: 1 -- 2 -- 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! The shot freezes as Kowalski stands, raising the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship above the form of Annis, laid out by Watkins' spinebuster. The soundtrack to Serge Annis' subsequent comments fades over this scene:] SA: The next time I see you, Watkins, you'd best cover up and run... because you are the only reason I am not wearing the IIWF World Championship right now! And for that, you must pay. [Cut to footage captioned, "IIWF Saturday Night: 3 January 1998." Mad Dog Watkins stands in the ring with Tim Dross, giving an interview in front of the IIWF Coliseum crowd:] MDW: So get angry with the Mad Dog for "causing you to lose the belt".  Get angry with the "old man who doesn't know his spot".  'Cause, son -- you're going to need every bit of that anger and more if you hope to get past the Mad Dog alive. [The screen flashes a brilliant white, the pounding riff of "Paint it Black" accompanies footage captioned, "IIWF Snow Brawl: 17 January 1998." Mad Dog Watkins and Serge Annis come to the ring as team-mates... but soon end up brawling all over the arena! Cut to various shots of the two brawling all the way up the aisle, into the stands... over which comes Dave Bacon's voice-over once more:] VO: Sometimes, even true warriors forget what they are fighting for, lost in the glory of the fight. [Cut to footage captioned, "IIWF Saturday Night: 31 January 1998." Annis and Watkins battle it out inside a steel cage. A pulsing beat races in the background as various events from the match are shown: Annis shackling Watkins to the side of the cage, as if being crucified, with handcuffs; Annis dousing the cage in gasoline; Annis flicking his zippo lighter... and the cage going up in flames! The ringside fans scream in real fear as a sheet of fire climbs up the side of the ring, spreading arund the steel cage until in engulfs a full three-quarters of the ring!  Annis, buried under a mountain of security guards, allows himself to be dragged of by the team, the blaze at ringside sparkling in his eyes as he keeps his attention fixed on the flaming pyre in the centre of the stadium.  Inside the ring, Mad Dog Watkins, who is chained to the side of the ring not engulfed in flames, doubles his efforts to free himself from the cage, the metal cuffs slicing into his wrists as he pulls with all his might, but the incredible heat and the lack of oxygen are begining to take their toll on him, and his struggles slowly become weaker and weaker!] TD: Get the fire crew down here!  NOW!  Someone's got to get Watkins out of there! [Cut to a shot of ringside, the frightened ringside fans literally climbing over themselves to escape the incredible heat and sparks being thrown off by the blaze at ringside.  A squad of fire fighters, carrying fire extinguishers and trailing a water hose behind them, charge down the aisle towards the ring as the camera picks up a shot of the now-unconscious Mad Dog Watkins, chained to the steel cage in an almost Biblical pose, his head slumping to one side as tall pillars of fire seemingly lick at the cage all around him, threatening to close in on the trapped veteran as this Rapture-like scene slowly fades to black. The pulsing beat slows, and Dave Bacon's voice cuts in once more:] VO: Two men willing to go to extraordinary lengths to destroy the other. [Cut to footage captioned, "IIWF Saturday Night: 7 February 1998." Annis gives an interview in the ring:] SA: MAD DOG WATKINS WAS MERELY AN EXAMPLE OF WHAT POWER I POSSESS! [Annis' eyes look as if he has snapped. Dave Bacon sees this and quickly hands Serge the mic and ducks out of the ring.] SA: I am exactly what I say I am, the "Epitome of Evil." And I have more than 101 ways to prove it. The IIWF is now being stalked by a madman by the name of... [Serge is abruptly cut off and a low, gravelly voice can be heard over the PA.  Serge's sentence is finished in a decisive fashion when one lone word is heard... "WATKINS". Suddenly, the lights in the arena drop to complete darkness, even the video wall flickering to black. Cameras flashing around the Delta Center provide the only glimmer of light, a sort of strobe effect, as the fans give a huge, huge confused pop! In the momentary glimmers of the cameras' flashes, there is movement in the ring, but it is unclear what is happening.] SR: The lights!  What's going on here? [Out of nowhere, a brilliant flash of red, yellow and orange light explodes in the ring and the massive form of Serge Annis can be seen crashing to the mat, grasping his already scarred face in agony.  Moments later, the lights rise again. As the fans' eyes adjust to the light again, they see Serge down on the mat grasping at his face, and a figure standing over him with lighter in hand! Huge pop!] TD: A fireball! He just hit Serge Annis with a fireball! It's Watkins!  It's Watkins!  Oh my!  Watkins has arrived! [Watkins stands with his back to the camera and bends down to grab the microphone which was dropped in the chaos by a retreating Dave Bacon. Slowly he turns around, revealing the now infamous Smiley face mask from 1997.  The mask covers his whole face, turning it into an evil visage which masks the damage inflicted last week by Annis's roast...] MDW: Welcome to my nightmare, Annis. Check the mask.  I'm a smiling on the inside kinda guy too, but one hell of a roasted brotha underneath. Consider this one-percent of your payback for that little stunt last week.  The other 99% is yet to come.  Hell on earth?  You brought it to me... let me share what I've learned with you. [Watkins throws the microphone down on Annis as well as the Zippo he used to launch the fireball into the "Epitome of Evil's" face.  As the IIWF security team and paramedics hit the ring, Watkins falls between the ropes and out to the floor.  In one non-stop motion, he hops the railing and disappears into the fans, who cheer and swarm around the veteran. The shot fades as Annis struggles from the ring, clutching at his face.] VO: Two men who will stop at nothing. [Cut to footage captioned, "IIWF Saturday Night: 28 February 1998", as Watkins gives an in-ring interview:] MDW: You let me into that dark, twisted psyche of yours and I caught a glimpse of that tortured, hellish world you inhabit. But you want to now what? I wasn't scared. I LIKED it!!! I liked it so much that I've decided to share it with the rest of the fellas here in the Double Eye. When I returned, I proclaimed the IIWF under siege. Today, I stand before you and proclaim that the seige is over, and the WAR has begun. Starting today, Mad Dog Watkins is starting his own little "War of Attrition" and I've got no allies, only enemies. Annis showed me Hell on Earth and I'm gonna share it with the rest of you all! Everyone out there had better hope someone survives the carnage to pick up the pieces, because if they don't, Mad Dog Watkins will bring this [BLEEP]in' fed to its knees. Consider yourselves warned. [The pounding sounds of the Rolling Stones' "Paint It Black" kicks in over the PA as Watkins leaves the ring to a huge pop from the Dogs of War, slipping back into the crowd, where he is mobbed by fans until he disappears from view. Cut to later in the same show, as Annis grabs the microphone in the ring:] SA: Mad Dog Watkins, drag your ass out here and meet me in this ring here tonight... one on one, face to burned, charred face. I know you want it too, Watkins, so come on out here and face me! [Flash cut to footage of the ensuing match: both men colliding with the retaining barrier outside the ring; Annis hitting Watkins with a flying clothesline; Watkins being driven through a broadcast table at ringside; Annis busting Watkins by breaking a large stick across his head; Watkins with an inverted powerbomb of Annis onto a steel chair in the ring... and Watkins getting the cover: 1 -- 2 -- 3! Ding! Ding! Ding!] SL: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of the match, Mad Dog Watkins! [The ref holds up Mad Dog's hand, as Annis slowly begins to stir. "Natural Born Killers" plays again as Mad Dog thrusts his arms up in victory. Dave Bacon's voice cuts in one more time:] VO: In this war of attrition, only one man will be left standing. [Cut to footage captioned, "IIWF Saturday Night: 7 March 1998." Watkins arrives unannounced to provide commentary, but stops off in the ring for a brief interview first:] MDW: In two weeks, you've got a battle of Armageddon facing you. We'll start twenty feet above the ring on a steel scaffold and one of us is coming down the hard way -- through fifteen feet of tables. And then the real fun begins... [Watkins rubs his goatee and laughs.] This little "Descent into Hell" match you signed on the dotted line for... it begins up high, but ends in the basement. You wanna beat the dog, you gotta drag me out of Wembley Stadium and pin me in the boiler room, something I KNOW you can't do. Shakin' in your boots yet? You should be. Pray Kowalski puts you out of your misery here tonight, son. If he don't, you've got a date with destiny that ain't gonna be pretty... it's gonna be damn near tragic. [Cut to later in the same night, as Annis wrestles Steve Kowalski for the World Championship. Annis is thrown from the ring, and Watkins leaves the commentary booth in a hurry. He pulls the dazed Annis up by his hair, sets him up for a powerbomb, but instead falls straight backwards in the same move he debuted last week -- this time driving Annis' head hard into the steel steps! Annis is rolled back into the ring, as the fans chant "SKULL-PUMP! SKULL-PUMP!" Kowalski hooks both of Annis arms', drops his head, and drives the Epitome of Evil's head hard into the canvas with the...] TD: SKULLPUMP! Kowalski adds insult to injury with the Skullpump! It's gotta be over! [Referee Joey Patrick hits the canvas and begins to count... One... Two... THREE! Ding! Ding! Ding!] SL: Ladies and gentlemen...your winner and STILL IIWF World Heavyweight Champion of the World!!! STEVE "THE FURY" KOWALSKI!!! [The shot freezes as Annis is left lying in the ring, his face bloodied.] VO: The IIWF isn't big enough for the both of them. Tonight, they will make the Descent Into Hell... [Cut to footage from the Congo, as Watkins and Annis brawl in the aisle. The shot slowly fades, leaving just Dave Bacon's voice-over:] VO: ...and only one man will return. [Cut back to live shots of the broadcast table at ringside, as yet again the fans chant, "IIWF! IIWF! IIWF!"] TD: If you've not yet made that call, folks, make it now -- because we're literally just a few minutes away from the start of the biggest pay-per-view event of the year so far. In just a momment, we'll be getting _live_ comments from the IIWF World Heavyweight Champion, but before that, let's take a quick look at the history between the two combatants in tonight's main event. ------------------------------- PREVIEW -------------------------------- DEATH IN DARKNESS MATCH: Steve "the Fury" Kowalski vs. Shadoe Rage ------------------------------- PREVIEW -------------------------------- [Cut to footage captioned, "IIWF Snow Brawl: 17 January 1998". Steve Kowalski and Brody Thunder battle it out on the roof of a huge cell-like cage, the structure buckling dangerously as the two men hit each other with high-impact manoeuvres. Tim Dross provides the voice-over:] VO: It all began at Snow Brawl. In one of the most gruelling and exciting IIWF Championship matches of all time, Steve "the Fury" Kowalski completed his ascent to the very top of the IIWF, by defeating the number one ranked wrestler in the world, Brody Thunder. [Cut to footage of Kowalski executing the final Skullpump piledriver on Thunder, causing the roof of the cage to collapse and the two men to tumble into the ring under a pile of wreckage. Cut to a few moments later as Kowalski struggles clear of the debris, bloody and battered -- but holding the IIWF World Heavyweight Championship belt aloft!] VO: All eyes were now on the Fury. The IIWF Champion is always a marked man -- but Kowalski more than most. [Cut to a quick montage of the various fights Kowalski has been in since Snow Brawl: wrestling Jimmy "the Meatman" Steele, and being laid out by a roll of quarters in the fist of Gunnar "Grizzly" Gaines; battling Shadoe Rage in the Valentine's Day Massacre and being attacked from behind by the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi; hitting the Subway Psycho with the Skullpump; wrestling Shadoe Rage once more in a non-title match, and being attacked by Team Sychosys; duking it out with Serge Annis; and brawling with Shadoe Rage in the Congo. As the footage continues, Dross cuts in again:] VO: For the Fury, it has been perhaps the most punishing schedule taken on by an IIWF World Heavyweight Champion. Any other man would have fallen by the wayside. Kowalski is no ordinary man... [Cut to a shot of Kowalski seated in his locker room, apparently unaware of the camera's presence. He presses an icepack to his right knee and is dressing a wound on his forehead. He is slumped forwards on the bench in the attitude of a man completely drained, physically and mentally.] VO: ...but he is only human. [The superimposed voice of Kowalski echoes across the shot:] SK: I'm the oldest young man I know. The mileage I got on this carcass, is _way_ too far. But I'm not askin' fer pity. I'm askin' ya to give it yer best! [The screen explodes with more footage from Snow Brawl: Shadoe Rage wrestles in the triangle match to crown the "King of Snow Brawl". The footage shows Rage taking a beating from both "To Excess" Rick Williams and Jimmy "the Meatman" Steele. The Meatman knocks Rage off his feet with a shove, and then bounces off the ropes. We cut to the original commentary:] TD: The Meatman is headed off the ropes... I think we know what's coming up. SR: Smothered in onions! Goodnight, Shadoe Rage! [After hitting his signature crotch drop to the face, Steele again tries for the win, covering for: 1 -- 2 -- Kickout?!] TD: He did it again! Where's he getting it from? [Astonished, the Meatman gets to his feet and mouths "What do I have to do?" Deciding another go at the Smothered in Onions should be enough, he runs off the ropes again... and is tripped up by Marissa. The femme fatale reaches back as he's getting up for the chair long since forgotten, and is about to bring it down on him when Meat grabs it in one swift motion and uses his power to yank it away. He stands up, and turns around angrily, looking to finally finish things off. He never sees the superkick from Rage that drives the chair into his face.] TD: Good God, we have a cover! One... Two... Three! SR: I don't believe it, Dross! [Few others do either, as a shocked murmur passes through the crowd while Rage just stumbles right out of the ring, barely able to stand. Marissa immediately begins carrying her man away, knowing the Meatman will be looking for him when he gets up and also knowing his last ounce of energy went into the kick and subsequent pin.] SL: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this bout and King of the Snow     Brawl is... "Savage" Shadoe Rage! [The shock quickly turns to boos as Rage is almost carried away. Dross cuts in once more:] VO: With that victory, Shadoe Rage won booking rights for the entire month of February... and this was an opportunity which he would not waste. [Cut to footage of Shadoe Rage and his various challenges throughout February: the match against "Sychosys" Joe Petrow; the Valentine's Massacre which saw him face all three of the IIWF's champions in a single non-title match; the Death Match pitting himself against Steve Manning and the Prophets of Rage. Cut to interview footage of Rage directly after the Valentine's Day Massacre:] SR: And you know that I am the indestructible man.  I'M STILL STANDING!!!  But you and me... we're going to meet one on one, Kowalksi.  The Fury is going to meet the Rage and we'll see which emotion is stronger, which burns hotter... which burns LONGER!!! That IIWF Heavyweight Championship.  That symbol around your waist is going to be mine.  I'm going to strip it all away, Kowalksi.  I am the most dangerous man alive in the IIWF.  Don't fool yourself.  I am the most dangerous man. And you and me, we've got a date on February 28, 1998.  The final day of my booking rights I challenge you.  Non-title.  I win.  I face you in a match of my choosing at Ring Wars.  Kaff... kaff... goodbye Fury.  It is time for the Nightmare in New Jersey to end.  You will die... in... huff... puff... kaff... kaff... _darkness!_ [Cut to footage captioned, "IIWF Saturday Night: 28 February 1998". Shadoe Rage and Steve Kowalski wrestle in Nagano, Japan. Kowalski whirls at the commotion behind him, and sees the unconscious Rage lying in the middle of the ring, and then looks down and sees the "Enigma" Takezo Musashi holding his title belt in his hands, grinning madly up at the Champion! The Fury's blood boils at the sight of Musashi, and he strides over towards the ropes, hurling epithets at the Enigma. As Kowalski approaches, Musashi's grin widens, and he flings the belt at the Fury, who instinctively catches his prized title just as Marissa Monet, who has seen everything, smiles and drops back to the floor! Earl Alfonso turns back to the action, sees both the stunned Rage and Kowalski holding the title belt in his hands -- and calls for the bell! Ding! Ding! Ding!] SR: Aw, for cryin' out loud... TD: He's been disqualified! Steve Kowalski has been disqualified! SL: Ladies and gentlemen, here is your winner as a result of a disqualification, and the recipient of an IIWF World Title match of his own stipulation at Ring Wars V, "SAVAGE" SHADOE RAGE! [The footage freezes as the camera catches the expression of frustration on Kowalski's face. Cut to footage captioned, "IIWF Saturday Night: 7 March 1998". Shadoe Rage gives an interview in the ring:] SR: You've heard me make the cry time after time. Die in darkness. And many of you may have wondered exactly what it was that I had to say and meant to say when I said it. Well, in just a few short weeks you will have the pleasure of watching a Death in Darkness match. Steve Kowalski is the marble in my palm. And I shall take that marble and squeeze it beyond its polish into a handful of dust that shall blow in the wind! [Cut to a few moments later, as Kowalski confronts Rage in the ring:] SK: Oh yeah. This bad boy's all busted up. Beat up, [BLEEP]ed up an' broken up! But ya know what? But, Rage... jus' in case they didn't tell ya... I'm _still_ the man! My body hurts too much to argue with 'nother victim, Rage. Ya stole yerself a win over me, ya didn't earn it! Ya didn't earn my respect... Ya lost it! Come R-Dubbyah-five we're gonna see who wants it more! We're gonna see where it takes us! We're gonna see the end of _RAGE_! [Cut to the climax of that night's Kowalski vs. Annis world title match. Kowalski grabs the IIWF belt of the edge of the ring where Mad Dog Watkins had left it and hoists it high overhead. He climbs to the top turnbuckle and the crowd responds to their champion!] TD: What a war we have seen tonight, folks! Amazing performance by both Annis and Kowalski and all in the name of the World Title! SR: Look at that Kowalski. He's my favourite cussin', drinkin', fightin', and Skullpumpin' SOB. You hear the people Dross -- you gotta love him. TD: Love him or not, he is the World Champion... [Dross is cut off as Shadoe Rage hits the ring at full speed and pulls an unexpecting Kowalski down from the turnbuckle. The two warriors resume the fracas of minutes ago with renewed vigour, much to the delight of the crowd.] TD: They're going at it again! Just how bad does Shadow Rage want Steve Kowalski! [The shot freezes on that rhetorical question, and the screen then explodes with monochrome footage of Rage and Kowalski standing nose to nose in the ring. Dross cuts in once more:] VO: How bad _does_ Shadoe Rage want Steve Kowalski? We'll find out... later on tonight! [Cut back to live shots of the arena... just in time to hear the crowd go absolutely nuts as "Don't Fear The Reaper" cuts in over the PA! All eighty-plus thousand fans seem to unite in a chant of "SKULL-PUMP! SKULL-PUMP! SKULL-PUMP!" They stand up, they cheer... but most of all... they go _wild_! His entrances are usually that way. The New Jersey Nightmare, wearing only boots, jeans and the title, makes his way down to the ring.] TD: The champ is here! Thousands of screaming maniacs are paying homage to their leader! Chanting "Skullpump!" and pouring beer in the aisleways! One has to wonder at the I.Q. of these Furies! SR: Skullpump! Skullpump! Skullpump! [Rolling into the ring, the champ takes in the sea of madness about him. Satisfied that he is the center of attention, he calls for Sparkplug Lee to toss in the microphone. Which Lee does.] SK: Hail to the king, baby! [Huge Pop!] That's right... _I'm_ still the king an' top o' the heap! Anyone says different an' they get thumped! I'm talkin' 'bout ya, Shadoe! A month's work o' bookin' really got ya headlines... a month's worth o' winnin's got ya respect. But the problem is... A month worth's o' talkin' got a ya a one way ticket to the hurt locker! [Once again they pop!] An' I'm drivin' the bus! A year ago ya were jus' 'nother hardworkin' badass tryin' to make a name fer himself. Now ya got a shot 'gainst the best! Thing is, ya act like I owe ya one... Like ya turned this fed upside down to get yer big moment. Truth is ya stole yer shot! Ya know it, an' I know it! Most o' all -- these people know it! [Fury Pop Big Time!] SR: I knew it! Did you know it, Dross?! The man is speaking the truth! Preach on, Brother Steve! TD: Good grief. SK: I know, I know. Yer probably sayin' that's the pot callin' the kettle black. An' maybe yer right. Either way, ya didn't impress! I didn't recall a pin. I don't re-co-llect a submission. So the whole damn thing must have been a [BLEEP]in' farce! I don't remember ya stayin' in the ring to get yer hand raised. All I recall is a bitter man, runnin' with his tail 'tween his legs! [Pop!] Well, tonight ya can't run! [Bigger Pop!] An' ya sure as hell can't hide! [An Even Bigger Pop!] All ya can do is count yer blessin's that the EMT's are in the building! 'Cause when it's all said an' done, _I'll_ be pullin' my thumb 'cross my throat, callin' fer the SKULLPUMP! [The Crowd goes ape-shit at the mention of the most feared finisher in the IIWF!] I wanted ya to know that, 'cause yer gonna be knocked the [BLEEP] out! The Age of Rage stops here, junior. Hell hath no _Fury_ like bastard like me! [Insanity in the crowd as Kowalski decides to hop out of the ring and take the more personable route through the masses of screaming fans. All sound is drowned out except for the "Skullpump!" chant. Over the noise, Tim Dross shouts:] TD: This is it, Steve Roberts! This is it! We're now just moments away from the start of tonight's big pay-per-view! Kowalski vs. Rage! Macbeth vs. Lebec! Seven Tables of Fear! Annis vs. Watkins! Gaines vs. Meatman! It's all coming right up! Don't move a muscle, folks! [Cut to a wide-angle shot of Wembley Stadium, as another volley of fireworks shoots up into the midnight sky. Fade.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Gregg Osterhout | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | ghost@frii.com | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+