[Fade in on The Machines, who stand in front of the same smashed BMW that the Fabulous Ones were in. Outside, Paul Wong and Simon O'Neal stand in front of the car, surveying the damages. Both have a look of... resignation about them.] PW: They destroyed my car. SO: Yep. PW: Second time they've done this... first at Wembley, and now here. SO: Uh-huh. [Pause] PW: My insurance rates are going to skyrocket. [Simon just nods.] PW: The IIWF won't pay for it... they say it's the Fabulous One's responsibility. The Fab's lawyer said to contact Mr. Tsuburaya, and they're hiding around a bunch of red tape. My lawyer says I'll eventually get some of the money for the car... in a few years. [Again, Simon just nods his head.] PW: And people still say we're the bad guys. SO: Welcome to the wonderful world of rule-breaking, Paul. [A long pause. Finally, Paul just shakes his head, and walks away. Simon looks at the camera, shrugs his shoulder, and follows his partner. The camera fades to....]                           ________      __ ___                           | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|                           | || | \ v  v / | __|                           |_||_|  \_/\_/  |_|                         __ __       __ _______   __                  |    //_  / | /| //_ /__   / | /__|\__/                  | / //   /  // |//      \ /  //   /  /                  |/|//__ /__//  //_______//__//   /__/                        ___  ___      ___   ________                  |    //__| /__\     /__\  /  //  //|/|                  | / //   //   \    /   \ /  //  // / |                  |/|//   //    /   /    //__//__//    |                  -------------------------------------- IIWF Coliseum, Portland, Oregon Wednesday 22 April 1998 [Run DMC vs. Jason Nevins' "It's Like That" plays as clips of this past week's ring action appears. Shots include: Icehawk pinned in King of the Cruisers action! Joe Petrow and Gunnar Gaines trading punches! Steve Kowalski and Takezo Musashi in heated combat! and Valtharius the Mad clocking Jimmy Steele! As the song ends, fade to Dave Bacon and the radiant Becky LaRue, in the IIWF control centre, seated in "director" chairs. A third chair, notably empty, bears the name "Larry Morton" on it. As the song winds down, the radiant LaRue, dressed in a tight black miniskirt, smiles a sexy smile and Bacon, wearing a dark grey double breasted suit and a navy blue turtleneck blows a puff of smoke from his ever-present cigar.] Song: # ...'cause it's LIKE THAT! And that's the way it is! # DB: Hello and welcome to another edition of the IIWF War Room. I'm your host, the guru of grapple, Dave Bacon.... BL: And I'm your host, the buff and beautiful Becky LaRue. DB: Some of you... well, his relatives anyway... may be asking where Larry Moron is today. BL: Well, Lar is a little under the weather after last night... DB: I never thought you'd get him into a place like that, LaRue. BL: Well, Bacon, me hearty... show Morton a bit of cleavage and he'll follow you to hell and back... DB: Becks, from what I saw of that place, hell would be preferable. "The Purple Roach?" BL: Hey, don't look at me like that! I don't frequent it. DB: Well, as I said earlier, Larry's a bit under the weather... so the duties of hosting this show fall to yours truly and hers truly. And quite a show we have lined up for you. Today you'll see the very talented D'Artois/Magnusson tag team... a team I'm sure we'll see hit the heights in the IIWF. BL: Caleb Temple makes his solo ring debut! DB: Charles Scheffield is here! BL: We have cruiserweight tournament ring action for you! DB: Why are we yelling?! BL: I don't know! Morton always does! DB: Valtharius drops by for tea and crumpets! BL: [pause] What? DB: Just checking to see if you were paying attention, Becks. Eddy Jacks and Derek Mota face off, leading to our main event... BL: The main event of today's show featuring the Fabulous Ones against the hairy-assed members of Clan Bizarre, Duncan and Andrew Macbeth... DB: But our first match features the European superstars, Robert D'Artois and Reiner ver Magnusson against the Rotundos. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ D'Artois/Magnusson vs. Rotundos [J] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Liana Oates made her way to the ring in a new fashion, this week, borne on a platform carried by students of the IIWF Power Prep wrestling school. Wearing a sheer blue silk shirt tied, showing her navel, and Daisy Duke style back shorts, the cheers for the Lady Ring Announcer were epic this week. The Rotundos, still wearing the "If you can't beat 'em, eat 'em" shirts, made their way to attack her, but were placated when she offered them Polish Sausages. The Europeans were greeted by boos, based more on their attitudes than disrespect. The highly talented Europeans easily dominated this match with fluid tag work, and excellent execution of moves. Magnusson continues to press his claim to being the strongest man in the world by tossing the Rotundos around with a series of strong moves that earned some response of awe from the fans. It was then that the Black Watch entered, amidst a surfeit of thrown cups and garbage, moving slowly to the ring as D'Artois applied a figure four to the massive legs of Olaf Rotundo. As soon as the big man had cried out, they entered the ring, nailing both Rotundos with steel chairs, causing the referee to call for the bell. Andrew struck D'Artois with a solid chair shot to the back before being Heart-punched by the powerhouse Magnusson... who soon received a chair shot to the back of his head from Duncan Macbeth as reward. While Duncan turned to help his floored partner, D'Artois, who had rolled with the shot, was up like lightning and caught Duncan from behind in a cross face chickenwing submission hold. Andrew rose slowly and pulled D'Artois from his partner and turned quickly to block an attack from the woozy Magnusson. As security flooded the ring, the two teams were pulled back to the dressing room area...and the blissfully ignorant and unconscious Rotundos had their arms raised in victory. WINNERS: The Rotundos, 6:13, by DQ. DB: A lot of action to start the show with. BL: And a feud perhaps for the Black Watch against the dignified and "undefeated" Magnusson/D'Artois. DB: Which brings us to this week's "Bacon Bit". [Suddenly, annoyingly perky Hanson-like music plays in the background with a six year old child singing "Bacon Bit" over and over...] What the hell was that? BL: I think it was incentive to never have a Bacon Bit again.... DB: Heh. Well, they're going to get a little bit of conscious thought put into this show, verstehen? BL: Dave, look...you and I don't always see eye to eye...hell, we seldom do. But I have kind of gotten to like having you around here. You counterbalance Morton's idiocy. I'm just not sure the Bacon Bit belongs here. DB: [continuing] Today's Bacon Bit. Skill vs. Brawl. Take a look at the Black Watch and D'Artois/Magnusson for a moment. BL: ...I mean, it's not like you're totally useless around here... and I don't want to see you get fired... DB: [not hearing] D'Artois and Magnusson represent what the IIWF needs. Some style of the past, some thoughts about tradition. I mean, look at Joe Petrow and his kick in the side, McArthur. Fans don't know what to make of them, and what ring skill they have is in doubt. But they're the tag team champions. Now look at the Europeans. Tremendous skill, but not a lot of wins here. Yet. BL: ...and you're without a doubt a better dresser than Morton... DB: The Black Watch is a talented team, in terms of brawling...but I ask you, what innovations have been made in brawling? Macbeth and Macbeth have a shot at greatness, but it comes down to a question of whether or not their style of in-ring brawling is at all effective. Are they the next Licensed for Devastation? Or will they earn tag gold? BL: ...not to mention I wouldn't mind an evening with you.... DB: [finally hearing] What? [Becky smiles, laughing under her breath. Turning from him ignoring him mockingly] BL: Our next match features newcomer Caleb Temple. We saw Temple and Gaines in a match against Joe Petrow and 4M on Saturday Night, and he could be a major asset for the Double I. DB: Wait a second. You said... BL: Let's go to the ring. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Caleb Temple vs. El Super Gecko [J] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ [SCENE: Darkness. We can barely make out a figure. His voice, however, is a giveaway. We hear the calm, Southern drawl of...] CT: "Whatsoever thou doest to the least of my brothers, thou doest unto me". [He chuckles softly.] But I don't know if that applies to lizards. Lo, for the serpent _WAS_ temptation, and he _WAS_ vile in the sight of the Lord. Oh, Gecko, it's a terrible way to make a living. This will hurt me _almost_ as much as it will hurt you. [He snorts audibly.] Trust me. [Fade out on that sinister chuckle again.] The native of Trinity, South Carolina made his in-ring solo debut here a major success. El Super Gecko ran to the ring, still hurting from his match last week against Valtharius the Mad, and was carried out on a stretcher from this one. While the Geckster hit a few fine aerial moves, including a Geckocarana, Caleb Temple tore into him, pounding the luckless lizard into unconsciousness, still picking him up at the two count, with slow and agonising moves that will doubtless leave Gecko on the shelf for a while. Gecko was finally subdued with a combo leading to the Last Rites, from which he passed out from the pain before he could tap out. Post Match, Gunnar Gaines came to ringside, hitting three Grizzly splashes on the bloody and unconscious Gecko, before Luke Steele, led by new manager Awesome T, dashed to the ring brandishing a police club, which he used to sweep the legs of Gaines out from under him when he set for a fourth splash. Gaines and Temple retreated as Luke Steele received a bevy of cheers. WINNER: Caleb Temple, 14:13, by Referee's decision BL: Big win for Temple in his debut. But "I wanna be a Heel" Steele turns face on us yet again? DB: You are unbearably cruel, LaRue. [smiles wickedly] Okay, Bacon Bit number two. [The Hanson-esque theme returns, causing her to cover her ears.] BL: Oh, you'll pay for that, Bacon.... DB: Does Luke Steele have potential? Well, his fights with Duncan of Clan Bizarre make us think so. Is he title-bound? With Awesome T as his guide, I would think so. Steele has always lacked the determination, the drive... and T makes for a good guide. Look what he's done for the Down Boys, and the success they've had. BL: But can he beat the Gaines family? DB: My other point. Gaines, Petrow, what you did was more than just wrong. It was reprehensible. I signed on as a broadcaster here in the IIWF because it has the reputation of being the best damn federation there is. And the wrestlers are professional, both in their interaction in and out of the ring. All games aside, the whole idea of toying with the fans like that. Playing games with their emotions. It's more than just a gimmick... some way to make yourself look better or badder in the ring... or to irritate other wrestlers. It's a good way to get yourself killed. [Becky stands stunned, looking at Bacon as he continues.] Ten years back there was a wrestler by the name of Soren Cedo. Norwegian, good kid, all around talented athlete. Been a titleholder when I started broadcasting professionally. And he decided that he wanted to be a "pretty boy" bad guy. And it worked. He crossed the line one day, though. Told a girl in the crowd that she was ugly enough her parents should have...I'm not going to say it on the air. She took it personally enough that she went to his house and shot him dead. If it was over "ugliness" for her... what's it going to mean when you put it on a level that much higher? [Becky stands stunned... looks to the camera.] BL: I... I think we should go to our next match. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Charles Scheffield vs. Scott "The Whine" Bloom [J] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Bloom dashed to the ring, and continued to complain about his removal from the IC contenders battle royal, and claimed that he would make Scheffield pay in spades for what Valtharius had done. Scheff came out to a good response, but was caught off guard by the "Whinin' and Divin'" Corkscrew plancha outside the ring by Bloom. Bloom held his own for about 30 seconds, getting the two and a half before SCheff got his arm up. While Bloom argued with the referee, Scheffield was able to lock on a sleeperhold from behind... and Bloom's whining faded away to snores as he went limp in Scheffield's arms. WINNER: Charles Scheffield, 1:58, by submission. BL: Scheffield with another win. Unimpressive, but still there. Dave... DB: ...what? BL: You realise you're involved in this now, right? Gaines, Petrow, Meatman, Bear. It keeps going on and on. DB: Yeah, I know. And someone has to make sure people know what's going on in the ring. But enough of that for now. Now, on to clips of the superstars involved in the cruiserweight tournament. [Cut to footage captioned, "Courtesy of SJPW Ring Wars, 19 April 1998." Eddie Rose and Akira Ono are seated at the broadcast position in the jam-packed Nagoya Dome.] ER: Well Akira, now we turn once again to the match in the IIWF King of the Cruisers tournament. SJPW representative, and current Middleweight champion, Joey Rappoport will take on the LWC representative "Armitage" Steven Spector. AO: I just hope Rappoport receives fairer treatment than Kabuki Kid. That was a disgrace. ER: I would have to agree, but those things happen in this sport, Akira. Now, let's get down to the ring for this exciting match. ________ ______ | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|.................................................. | || | \ v v / | __| KING OF THE CRUISERS TOURNAMENT FIRST ROUND: |_||_| \_/\_/ |_| Joey Rappoport [SJPW] vs. "Armitage" Steven Spector [LWC] ....................................................................... WRITER: William Heller [Cut to ringside. The announcer stands in the centre of the ring, and raises the microphone up in his right hand as a holds a card in front of his face with his left.] RA: The following contest is set for one fall and it is a first round match-up in the IIWF King of the Cruisers Tournament! Introducing first... Hailing from Carteret, New Jersey and weighing in at 223 pounds... "ARMITAGE" STE-VEN SPEC-TOR!!! ["Cut You up" by Peter Murphy begins to play over the PA system of the Nagoya Dome. The fans stand when they hear the familiar beginning, and when Steve Spector steps through the curtain to make his way to the ring, the fans give him a polite pop. Spector wears long cyan-coloured tights with three read slash marks down the left and right leg, and black boots. Spector walks down to the ring with a serious look of determination on his face, only stopping once near a few fans that have posters. On closer inspection of the posters, they appear to have a bloody Spector fighting through barbed wire. Spector looks at the posters with a look of disgust on his face before motioning for a microphone. One of the ringside attendants complies.] SS: So... is THIS what I've become? A garbage wrestler? [Spector motions for one the posters, and one of the fans hands him a poster.] SS: Well... I guess there is just more than one agenda I have in this tournament after all. [Spector studies the poster for a few moments.] SS: I wasn't always this... this... garbage wrestler I've been portrayed as of late. It wasn't really _MY_ fault that I've been dragged into dangerous barbed wire cage matches... Singapore Death Matches... et cetera. The promoters saw a good kid... one with the same intentions as my opponent this very evening... and twisted him... made him a bloodthirsty _ANIMAL!_ [A look of disgust crosses Spector's face.] SS: Tonight, Joey Rappoport... I'm not out for blood... Lucky for you that I feel this way... if I did, you wouldn't be crawling out of the ring in one piece. Not only am I going to WIN this match tonight, Rappoport... BUT... I'm gonna prove to the fans out there that believe that I'm only good for throwing some 300 pound monster into a barbed wire ladder... that there is more to me then drawing blood. But even that won't convince everybody. [Spector hands the poster back to the fan.] SS: Rappoport, you're just step number one... no matter what I have to do... I will prove that I'm more than a one-dimensional monster. I will prove... that I'm the best. [Spector throws the microphone aside and continues his determined walk to the ring.] ER: Spector looking to prove himself as more than just an "extreme" style wrestler tonight. AO: He is nothing more than a garbage wrestler, he will fail miserably by trying to wrestle Rappoport. Rappoport has improved by leaps and bounds since coming to Japan. As always, having to face the best competition in the world forces you to get stronger and survive, or go to defeat and perish. RA: His opponent... He is the current SJPW Middleweight champion... Hailing from Boston, Massachusetts and weighing in at 224 pounds... JO-EY RAP-PO-PORT! ["Long Way Down" by the Goo Goo Dolls plays and the fans cheer loudly as Rappoport walks down to the ring. He is wearing long blue tights with "DEATH" and "DRIVER" written on each leg, black boots, and a white SJPW t-shirt. His Middleweight title is around his waist. He slaps hands with the fans as he comes down, and then jumps up on the apron, strips off the shirt, and then slingshots into the ring. Spector eyes Rappoport from his corner, his face grim and determined.] ER: Rappoport has soared in the SJPW lately with big victories over Ace Killcannon, and his tremendous effort in wresting the Middleweight title away from fellow youngster Yaz. AO: Hai. He has impressed me with his willingness to learn, and he has a great deal of heart. He is a deserving gaijin champion. [The bell sounds and Rappoport and Spector come together in the middle of the ring, and Rappoport extends his and, but Spector slaps it away and the fans "ohhhh" and "ahhh". Rappoport nods at Spector, and Spector stares daggers back. Both men then break away from each other, and circle around. They come together in a collar and elbow tie-up, and Rappoport quickly spins into a side headlock, but Spector counters with a hammerlock, which Rappoport quickly counters into a spinning dropped toe-hold that sends Spector crashing face-first to the mat. Rappoport floats over and applies a headlock, but Spector spins him into a hammerlock once again. Rappoport spins through it, and rolls to his feet, but Spector maintains hold of his arm, and spins into a wristlock. Rappoport grimaces in pain, but he pushes Spector back into the ropes, and attempts to whip him across the ring, but Spector reverses, and Rappoport goes to the ropes. Spector attempts a clothesline, but Rappoport ducks under it. Rappoport flies off the farside ropes, and Spector catches him and sends him over with a backbody drop, but Rappoport flips over, landing on his feet. Spector immediately runs to the ropes, and then charges at Rappoport. Rappoport goes over him with a leapfrog. Spector comes back off the ropes, and Rappoport attempts a hiptoss, but Spector blocks it, and spins around for one of his own. He sends Rappoport over, but he flips free, and lands on his feet. Spector charges Rappoport, and Rappoport attempts to take him over with a hiptoss, but Spector blocks it again, and spins around for a clothesline, but Rappoport ducks under it. Both men face each other again, and both launch dropkicks at the same time, causing their legs to collide in mid air. Both men then kip up at the same time, and stare each other down as the fans "ohhhhh" and applaud.] ER: Very even beginning to this contest as neither man able to hold any kind of advantage. They are still in the feeling out stage of this match. AO: Spector surprising me with his skill thus far, but it is earlier yet. [Both men circle away from each other and then lock-up again. Spector pushes Rappoport back into the corner, and the referee moves in to break it up. Rappoport holds his arms out, for the clean break, and Spector ducks out, and backs away and the fans applaud the clean break. Rappoport nods to Spector again, and Spector just stares back, motioning for Rappoport to lock-up. Collar and elbow tie-up again, and Rappoport pushes Spector back to the corner, and once again the referee moves in, and Rappoport backs away and Spector holds out his hands and the fans again applaud the clean break. Spector looks out at the fans, and nods slightly. Rappoport motions for Spector to come to him, and Spector moves in, and they lock-up yet again. Spector pushes Rappoport back to the ropes, and then whips him to the farside. Rappoport comes off, and Spector sets for a move, a Spinebuster perhaps, but Rappoport goes down, sliding between Spector's legs. Rappoport gains his feet, and Spector spins around, only to have Rappoport send him to the canvas with a dropkick to the knee. The fans let out a collective "ohhhh" as Spector writhes on the mat, holding his knee. Rappoport up quickly, and he drives an elbow across the knee, and another... Three... Four... Five elbowdrops to the knee, and the fans applaud.] ER: Rappoport going after the leg of Spector, trying to take away his mobility and his aerial attack. AO: Hai. A good strategy by Rappoport. [Rappoport rises, and attempts to spin Spector over for a Single-leg Boston Crab, but Spector scrambles to the ropes, forcing the break and the fan applaud. Rappoport breaks immediately, and backs away. Spector rises slowly, standing against the ropes. He bends his right knee, and grimaces in pain. Spector continues to shake the kinks out as he moves back to the centre of the ring to face Rappoport. Rappoport fires another dropkick aimed at the knee, but Spector avoids it, and drops an elbow to the back of Rappoport's head. Spector immediately locks on a reverse chinlock and Rappoport flails his arms around in pain.] ER: Spector trying to keep Rappoport grounded now, and allow himself time to recover. AO: Stalling tactics from a desperate man. [Spector cinches the hold on tight, and then switches into a Dragon Sleeper, drawing a surprised "ohhhh" from the fans. Rappoport flails around, stomping the mat with his feet, but doesn't submit. Spector yells out as he rises up to his feet, pulling Rappoport up with him, and then drops down with an inverted DDT out of the Dragon Sleeper. Spector covers, but only gets a one count, and Spector stands, lifts Rappoport into a sitting position, and dropkicks him in the back of the head. The fans "ohhhh" and applaud as Spector again locks on the Dragon Sleeper, but Rappoport quickly fires in knee after knee to Spector's head, forcing him to break the hold. Spector rolls back on the mat, holding his face, and both men rise to their feet. Rappoport charges at Spector, and clips his knee from behind, and Spector crumples to the mat in pain.] ER: Rappoport again going after the knee of Spector, and he is up, and he goes for the Half Boston Crab, and he turns Spector, and wrenches back on the leg and knee! [Spector shouts out in pain, but shakes his head "no" when asked to quit by the referee. Rappoport sits back further, and his face contorts with effort and Spector cries out again, but he still won't quit. Spector begins to drag himself to the ropes, and he gets close, and Rappoport suddenly releases pressure on the hold, and spins down with a leg-lock, and then attempts to snare Spector in a chinlock to complete the STF, and the fans "ohhhh" in anticipation of the dreaded submission hold, but Spector grabs the ropes before Rappoport can lock it on, and the fans applaud. Rappoport slaps the mat with frustration, and rolls to his feet. Spector rises slowly, favoring his knee, and Rappoport moves right in with a backhand chop that draws a "whoooo" from the fans, and he lays in with a couple more stinging chops that send sweat flying from Spector's chest. Rappoport then irish whips Spector, but Spector reverses it, and sends Rappoport into the ropes. Rappoport comes out, and nails Spector in the chest with a spinning heel kick, and immediately covers, but only draws a two count. Rappoport up quickly, and snaps a legdrop across Spector's chest, and covers him again, and Spector kicks out strongly at two. Rappoport stands, and pulls Spector up. Spector fires in with a couple of punches to the midsection, but Rappoport fires back with a loud chop and the fans "whoooo". Rappoport backs Spector to the ropes, and attempts to whip him across the ring, but Spector wraps his hands over the top rope, blocking the attempt. Rappoport tries it again, but again, Spector blocks it. Rappoport then fires in with a flurry of chops, and Spector slumps back against the ropes, and Rappoport attempts the whip again, but Spector reverses it, and sends Rappoport into the ropes. Spector catches Rappoport as he comes off and sends him into the air, but Rappoport turns in mid-air and catches Spector in a brilliant huracarana and the fans cheer. Rappoport reaches back, and hooks one leg, and the referee drops down.] ER: One... two... Kickout! [Fans applaud] Rappoport looking slightly frustrated, but he gets to his feet, and pulls Spector up...Neckbreaker by Rappoport! Rappoport now heading up to the top rope. AO: High-risk move coming up by Rappoport. I think it still may be too early. [Rappoport balances on top, and waits for Spector to rise. Spector rolls to his knees, shaking his head, and reaching back to hold his neck. He pushes himself up, and looks dazed, unable to locate Rappoport. Rappoport flies off with a Missile Dropkick, but Spector side-steps it at the last second, and Rappoport goes crashing to the mat and the fans let out an "ohhhhh". Spector falls back against the ropes. Rappoport gets to his feet slowly, and turns as Spector fires off the ropes, and nails him with a Flying Clothesline that sends Rappoport spinning around in the air before crashing hard to the mat. Both men stay down on the mat, and the referee checks on them. Spector lifts his knee up, and he cradles it in his hands as he grimaces in pain. Then he shakes it off, and rolls to his feet. Rappoport rises slowly, and Spector scoops him up for a slam, only to have Rappoport pull him down into a small package and the referee counts two and a half before a surprised Spector can kick out. The fans "ohhhh" at the close count, as Spector rolls to his feet. Rappoport is up, and runs at Spector, only to have Spector catch him in a spinning Spinebuster that causes Rappoport to bounce out the canvas with the impact, and the fans "ohhhhh."] ER: Spector catches Rappoport coming in, but he doesn't go for the cover. Spector is down as well, and both these men have taken a beating. AO: Hai. No conditioning will be the key. [Spector rises, whipping sweat from his eyes, and Rappoport rolls onto his knees, holding his lower back. Spector pulls Rappoport up by the back of his trunks, and fires in forearms to the small of his back, causing Rappoport to cringe in pain, and drop to his knees. Spector leaps up, aiming a dropkick right in the back, that sends Rappoport face-first to the mat. Spector rises, and pulls Rappoport up. Rappoport fires in with a back elbow, and another, but Spector fires back with a stiff forearm, and a vicious headbutt that rocks Rappoport back to the ropes. Spector scoops Rappoport up, and drops him down across his knee in a backbreaker. Rappoport bridges his back in immense pain, and Spector quickly climbs to the top rope, and the fans "ohhhh" and "ahhhh" as he balances and then flies off with a beautiful Moonsault that catches Rappoport flush across the chest. The referee drops down, but only gets a two count and the fans applaud.] ER: Now Spector looks frustrated as he pulls Rappoport up...He sets him up... He's going for the Cherry Blossom Bomber! [Crowd "ohhhs" and "ahhhs"] He lifts him up... Rappoport slips free, and lands behind Spector... Waistlock by Rappoport as he goes for a German Suplex, Spector blocks it and he reaches back and grabs Rappoport's head... ACE CRUSHER!! [Crowd goes "ohhhhh"] AO: I have to give credit, a fine manoeuvre by Spector. [Spector sits up and Rappoport rolls onto his back stunned. Spector merely falls back draping himself over Rappoport, and the referee drops down and counts once, he slaps the mat twice, he nearly counts three, but then looks up and sees Rappoport's foot over the bottom rope. Spector looks to the referee for the three, and the referee points to Rappoport's foot. Spector lets out a sigh in frustration, and then pounds the mat. He rises slowly, and pulls Rappoport up. Rappoport's body is limp, his eyes seemed glazed over. Spector lifts Rappoport up, and sets him on the to turnbuckle, and the fans "ohhhh" and "ahhhh".] ER: Spector now going out to the apron...He is going to attempt the Goddess Cutter! A Springboard Ace Crusher off the top!! He readies himself...Rappoport suddenly comes to life and he fires in with elbows to Spector's face, stunning him...He jumps off the second rope and grabs Spector's head...ACE CRUSHER ACROSS THE TOP ROPE BY RAPPOPORT!![Crowd goes "OHHHHH" and cheers.] [Spector drops down to the apron, and rolls off, crashing to the floor. Rappoport drags himself to his feet. He is breathing heavily, and winces as he stands his back tied in knots. The referee goes to move him back from the ropes so he can start the count, but Rappoport now climbs to the top rope, and the fans "ohhhh" and "ahhh".] ER: Rappoport up top, and he waits on Spector to rise... What are we going to... Spector is up... CORKSCREW MOONSAULT! What a move by Rappoport! AO: A great move, but a dangerous one, and both men are down, and both are hurt Eddie-san. Rappoport might have just eliminated Spector and himself from the tournament. [Rappoport and Spector lay in a heap as the referee rolls outside. He slaps both men in the face, and waves his hand in front of their eyes. He shakes his head and rolls in, and begins the count. Rappoport reaches out, trying to grab the railing to pull himself up with, and he begins to slowly drag himself up. Spector is down, and barely moving. Rappoport pulls himself to his knees, and with great effort, pulls himself up with the railing to his feet. The fans begin to chant "RAP-O-PORT!, RAP-O-PORT!" and Rappoport seems to become energised by this, and he raises his hand to the fans to a tumultuous cheer. Rappoport turns, pulls Spector up, and rolls him into the ring. Rappoport rolls in himself, and stands, and yells out to the fans to deafening cheers. Spector struggles to gain his feet, and Rappoport fires in with a stinging chop, and then fires Spector into the corner, and backs into the opposite corner, and raises his hands and the fans cheer.] ER: Rappoport sprints across the ring, leaps...Flying Splash in the corner, and Rappoport flips over to the apron and leaps up to the top rope as Spector stumbles out of the corner...MISSLE DROPKICK TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD! [Crowd "ohhhhs" and then cheers.] AO: Rappoport has him, he must go for the pin! Finish him! ER: Rappoport jumps up, and springs off the ropes... Vaults over Spector's prone body... Leaps up to the second rope... SPRINGBOARD MOONSAULT BY RAPPOPORT!! [The fans cheer as Rappoport lands across Spector's back. Rappoport rises, and signals for the Rappoport Death Driver, and the fans rise to their feet cheering. Rappoport drags Spector up, and scoops him up for the RDD, but Spector somehow slips free, landing behind Rappoport. Spector hooks Rappoport in a reverse facelock, and lifts him up as the fans "ohhhh" and "ahhhh".] ER: Spector is going for the Cheery Blossom Driver!! NO! Rappoport shifts his weight, and rolls over, landing behind Spector...He hooks him... GERMAN SUPLEX!! One... two... three! [The fans cheer as both men collapse to the mat in a heap and the referee signals for the bell. Colored streamers fly into the ring as the fans continue to cheer.] ER: Rappoport with a great escape, and he snares the win with the German Sup... Wait, what is this? AO: The referee is raising Spector's hand! Baka! [The referee kneels beside Spector, and raises his arm, pointing to him. Rappoport leans back against the ropes a look of utter shock across his face. He gets to his feet, and asks the referee what happended.] ER: Rappoport can't believe it, and neither can I. AO: Baka! I hate this tournament. RA: Your winner advancing in the King of the Cruisers Tournament... "ARMITAGE" STE-VEN SPEC-TOR!!! [The fans boo as Spector stumbles to his feet, a look of surprise on his face as well.] ER: I understand we have a replay ready, let's take a look. [The Jumbotron brings up the last moments of the match. Rappoport slips free from the Cherry Blossom Driver, and sends Spector over with a German Suplex, but Rappoport is unable to bridge completely and his shoulder also fall to the mat. The referee counts one, he counts two, and as his hand falls for the third count, Spector rolls his shoulder, leaving Rappoport's shoulder down.] ER: There you have it Akira, Spector pins Rappoport while in the German Suplex. AO: I have never heard of... He had him beat! Baka. This tournament is no good. Why we are sponsoring it, I will never know. [Rappoport shakes his head, and then leans against the ropes, resting his head against his arms, he is breathing heavily. Suddenly Rappoport is spun around by Steven Spector, and the fans go silent as both men stand face to face. Spector then slowly extends his hand to Rappoport. Rappoport looks down in surprise, and then looks out to the fans. He then reaches out and shakes hands and the fans cheer and applaud both men. Spector then raises Rappoport's hand into the air, and the fans stand, applauding as more streamers fly into the ring.] ER: An uncharacteristic display of sportsmanship by Spector, and that is great to see. Both men fought a great match, and either man could have won. AO: It was an honourable gesture, even if I don't agree with that call of the referee. Maybe Spector is more than just a "garbage" wrestler. ER: I think he more than proved it with that match tonight, Akira. Well, we are onto our second match in the IIWF King of the Cruisers Tournament.... AO: I say we don't allow them to wrestle. Both the SJPW representatives were cheated! I say to hell with the baka IIWF! ER: Now Akira, while I admit that Kabuki Kid was eliminated as a direct result of interference, Middleweight Champion Joey Rappoport lost cleanly. The replay showed Spector got his shoulder up first. Besides, the IIWF is not at fault for either result. AO: Baka. I don't care what you say, Eddie-san. We were cheated. ER: [sighing] Regardless, we have the next match featuring GFWA Sealweight Champion Jeremy Fullbright... AO: Sealweight? I will never understand you Americans. Sealweight... Ha! ER: As I was saying, impressive youngster Fullbright will take on independent entrant Sengir. AO: Baka! Now I have to watch that cheat Sengir in his match! Now at least I now who to root for. Even if he is a walrusweight. ER: That's _Sealweight_ Champ, Akira. AO: Whatever. ________ ______ | || |\ \ /\ / /| __|.................................................. | || | \ v v / | __| KING OF THE CRUISERS TOURNAMENT FIRST ROUND: |_||_| \_/\_/ |_| Sengir [ind.] vs. Jeremy Fullbright [GFWA] ....................................................................... WRITER: William Heller [Cut to ringside.] RA: The following contest is set for one fall with a 10 minute time-limit and it is a first round match in the IIWF King of the Cruisers Tournament! [Crowd cheers] Introducing first... Accompanied to the ring by the "Ice Queen" Jezra Wagner... Hailing from Cologne, Germany and weighing 218 pounds... SEN-GIR!!! [The fans boo as Wagner walks out, leading Sengir down to the ring. Wagner yells insults at the fans as Sengir merely ignores them. He is wearing torn black jeans, black cross-trainers, and a black t-shirt with a gothic design of a skull surrounded by roses. He also has a gold crucifix earring in his left ear. He climbs into the ring, and walks over to the corner, looking distant and morose.] ER: Sengir looking, uh...focused for this match as the Nagoya fans are really booing him for costing hometown hero Kabuki Kid his match. AO: And so they should! RA: His opponent... Hailing from Weaverville, North Carolina and weighing in at 234 pounds... JEREMY FULL-BRIGHT!!! ["Sucker MCs" by RUN DMC blasts over the PA system in the Nagoya Dome as Jeremy Fullbright emerges onto the entrance ramp. Fullbright nods his head a couple of times and starts walking slowly and methodically down the aisle, Fullbright is wearing a pair of red mesh athletic shorts, a t-shirt that says "I CAME TO BRING THE PAIN" on the front and "Discordiac 4 Lyfe" on the back, a knee brace on both knees, a pair of brand new Reeboks, and a necklace of what looks to be garlic. Fullbright reaches the ringside area and circles the ring once pointing at Sengir and yelling out obscenities at him. Fullbright enters the ring and makes a crucifix symbol with his two index finger in Sengir's direction and many fans around ringside laugh and applaud.] ER: Fullbright is a fine young athlete who had to go through a tournament in the GFWA just to make it to this tournament, so you know he is ready. AO: Or beaten, and tired. [Sengir moves slowly to the middle of the ring, and Fullbright cautiously moves towards him. They come together in a collar and elbow tie-up, and Fullbright immediately breaks out, and whirls away form Sengir. He gets against the ropes, and tells the referee to come over. The referee motions for Sengir to step back, and walks over to Fullbright. Fullbright opens is mouth, and points to his teeth, and then points to Sengir. The referee shakes his head. Fullbright again points to his teeth, and then to Sengir. The referee scratches his head and the ringside fans laugh loud and long.] AO: What is this? ER: Ahem... I believe Fullbright wants the referee to check Sengir to make sure he doesn't have fangs. AO: On second thought, I won't cheer for him. [The referee tells Fullbright to fight, and he steps back. Fullbright lets out a breath, and gathers his courage, and steps back in. They lock-up again, and again Fullbright breaks away, and complains that Sengir attempted to bite his neck, which draws gales of laughter from the fans. Sengir charges at Fullbright, and Fullbright slides under the bottom rope, his eyes wide with fear, and he stumbles back to the railing. He holds up his fingers in a crucifix again, and the fans are filling the ringside area with laughter.] ER: Sengir getting angry, as is Wagner, and that appears to be the tactic of Fullbright. AO: Either that, or he is a foolish clown. Or both! [The referee backs Sengir off, and Fullbright re-enters the ring. Sengir comes back at him, and he ducks through the ropes, the referee moves Sengir back, and Fullbright takes advantage by tagging Sengir with a stiff right hand to the jaw. The referee warns Fullbright, but he ignores him, and pushes Sengir back into the ropes, and then whips him to the farside. Sengir comes back off, and Fullbright levels him with a shoulder tackle drawing an "ohhhh" from the fans. Fullbright follows up with an elbowdrop, and then rolls to his feet. Sengir stands, and Fullbright catches him with a dropkick to the chest that sends him down. Fullbright back up on his feet, and he pulls Sengir up. Sengir fires in with chop to the throat, and another, and a third shot staggers Fullbright back to the ropes. Sengir grabs a wristlock, and then sends Fullbright across the ring with an Irish whip. Sengir readies for a clothesline, but Fullbright ducks under the attempt. Fullbright shoots back off the ropes, and ducks under a back elbow by Sengir. Sengir spins around again, and Fullbright launches himself into the air with a high crossbody block that sends Sengir crashing to the mat. Fullbright covers, but only gets a count of one.] ER: Fullbright showing a great deal of speed and agility early on in avoiding Sengir's attack, and retaliating with moves of his own. AO: He should inflict more pain though. Sengir deserves to suffer for his crimes before being humiliated in defeat. [Fullbright stands, and pulls Sengir up, Sengir again fires in with brutal chops to the throat, and Fullbright stumbles back to the corner, gasping for air. Sengir moves in, and fires in with straight-forward kicks and punches, that draws a warning from the referee. Sengir stops the barrage long enough to whip Fullbright across the ring and crashing into the opposite corner. Sengir quickly follows him in with a devastating lariat. Fullbright slumps in the corner, and Sengir lays in with kicks that send Fullbright sliding down until he is seated on the mat. The referee backs Sengir off, but only for a moment, and he moves back in, and pulls a dazed Fullbright to his feet, and whips across the ring again, but Fullbright leaps to the second rope, and comes off with a flying elbowsmash that catches a charging Sengir right in the face. The fans let out an "ohhhhh" and applaud as Fullbright rolls to one knee, and then rises.] ER: Fullbright with a nice counter-move, and Sengir is down, and holding his jaw. AO: Hopefully it was broken. [Fullbright lays in with stomps to Sengir's head, and then pulls him up by his long black hair. Fullbright locks on a side-headlock, and grinds down on it as he snarls with satisfaction. Sengir stomps the mat in pain, as Fullbright grinds down again. Sengir drops to one knee, and struggles to find an escape. Fullbright nods out to the fans confidently. Sengir manages to get to his feet, and suddenly locks on a waistlock, and lifts Fullbright up high, causing him to cry out in surprise before he is dumped on the back of his neck with a waistlock suplex. Sengir rolls to the ropes, and shakes his head as Wagner moves in, and whispers some words of encouragement or possibly strategy to her charge. Fullbright rolls onto his knees, and grabs the back of his neck, his face etched in pain. Sengir stands, and delivers a kick to the side of the head that sends Fullbright over onto his back. Sengir drives an elbow down across the throat, and covers, but Fullbright kicks out at two. Sengir rises, and pulls Fullbright up. Sengir locks him up, and sets him for a Vertical Suplex. Sengir lifts him up, but Fullbright fights the move.] ER: Fullbright using his weight and strength advantage to prevent the hold, and Sengir tries yet again...Fullbright blocks it again... Sengir releases the hold, and drives in kneelift after kneelift the midsection... SWINGING NECKBREAKER! [The fans "ohhhhh" as Fullbright sits up in pain, and then collapses back to the mat, and Sengir covers him. The referee counts two and a half and Fullbright kicks out. Sengir pushes himself up to his knees, and pushes his hair from his face. He looks frustrated, and angry. He stands, and pulls Fullbright up, and Fullbright fires in with elbows to the midsection, and then fires a forearm uppercut under the chin that drives Sengir back to the ropes. Fullbright with an Irish whip, but Sengir reverses it. Sengir attempts a clothesline, but Fullbright ducks under it. Sengir tries a back elbow, but again, Fullbright is able to duck out of the way. Fullbright hits the ropes again, and comes off only to be nailed by a stunning Savate Kick to the jaw by Sengir that sends Fullbright down to the mat and earns a loud "ohhhhh" from the fans. Sengir drops down for the pin, but Fullbright is able to muster the strength to kick out at two and a half again. Sengir stands, and walks out to the apron, and the fans "ohhhh" and "ahhhhh" in anticipation as he climbs to the top rope.] ER: Sengir going up top, he is not known for his high-risk moves really...Fullbright up slowly, still trying to shake off the effects of that kick to the jaw... Sengir flies off... DIVING LARIAT! [Crowd "ohhhhs" and applauds] Sengir with the cover... One... two... Kickout by Fullbright! AO: Yes! Sengir must be denied this victory. [Sengir rises, and looks over to Wagner, and she nods her head and smiles wickedly. Sengir gives the sign for his Setting Sun Tombstone Piledriver, and he pulls Fullbright up. The fans murmur with excitement as Sengir spins Fullbright up into position, but Fullbright somehow shifts his weight, and spins out of the hold and the fans cheer. A stunned Sengir attempts a clothesline, but Fullbright ducks under it, and catches Sengir with a Belly-to-Back Suplex. Fullbright immediately rolls to his feet, and goes out to the apron. He slingshots into the ring with a Somersault Senton across Sengir's chest, and the fans "ohhhh" and applaud. Fullbright rolls to his feet, and quickly climbs to the top rope. Sengir holds his chest in pain and slowly pushes himself up to his feet. Fullbright leaps off with a devastating Missile Dropkick, and the fans cheer as he scrambles over for a cover.] ER: One... two... NO! [Fans "ohhhh" and then applaud] Kickout by Sengir. AO: Baka! ER: Fullbright pulls Sengir up, and now he whips him to the to the corner, and Sengir hits back first, and stumbles out as Fullbright runs off the ropes... Fullbright catches him... BULLDOG! [The fans cheer as Fullbright gets up, and points to the top. The fans applaud, and he goes out to the apron, and climbs to the top. Sengir tries to push himself up, but then collapses face down to the mat. Fullbright leaps off with a Flying Legdrop to the back of Sengir's head and the fans let out a very loud "OHHHHH!" and Fullbright rolls the rigid body of Sengir over. The referee drops down, and slaps the mat once, he hits twice and his arm goes up and drops down as Jezra Wagner screams out...] ER: SENGIR KICKS OUT! [Crowd lets out an agonizing "ohhhh" and then applauds] Fullbright can't believe it, he is pleading with the referee for the three count. The referee shakes his head and says two only. AO: He is a blind fool. Sengir was pinned. ER: Undaunted, Fullbright stands, and goes back to the top rope. Sengir managing to rise, but he is stunned as Fullbright comes off...FLYING CROSSBODY!... Sengir rolls though, and comes out on top! One... two... Kickout! [Fans "ohhhh"] Sengir nearly stole the win there. Both men up to their feet, and Fullbright with a stinging punch to the jaw, and another... He scoops Sengir up onto his shoulder... Running Powerslam or Shoulderbreaker coming up...? NO! [Sengir slips off, and catches Fullbright in a reverse headlock... Right into the Embrace! Sengir hooks the leg! The count: 1 -- 2 -- NO! Fullbright just barely kicks out! Sengir rises slowly, not protesting the count, instead, he calmly pulls Fullbright up, and once again readies for the Setting Sun...Suddenly the Jumbotron goes black, and then something besides the action in the ring comes on. Sengir, Wagner and the fans all turn their attention to it. The scene is from last week's King of the Cruisers tournament match between the Kabuki Kid and the "Iconoclast" Sean Watts. In the background of the in ring footage is Sengir standing with arms crossed at ringside. The scene shows Kabuki Kid Tombstone piledriving Watts into the mat. Then, standing up and climbing to the top turnbuckle.] ER: What's goin' on? Who's responsible for this? AO: I think I know who. ER: The Kabuki Kid? AO: Hai. [Kabuki Kid prepares to finish Watts off with the "Kamikaze Drop" but suddenly, Sengir jumps up on the apron and pushes the Kabuki Kid off the top, sending him crashing down hard to the mat. The crowd in the Nagoya Dome, hometown of the Kabuki Kid, release a monstrous barrage of boos. Watts picks up the Kabuki Kid and nails the "Iconoclasm" and gets the pin. More booing comes from the crowd. Suddenly the boos turn to cheers as Kabuki Kid's stablemates the Fabulous Ones leap over the railing, and jump up on the ring apron.] ER: Sho Satsuma and Agito Nakajima up on the apron, and Sengir and the referee turn to them, and now the fans erupt! AO: It is Kabuki Kid! He jumps over the railing on the other side. Ha! [The fans cheer as Kabuki Kid slides into the ring. Sengir hears the commotion, and spins around, and Kabuki Kid nails him with a nasty dropkick to the knee. Sengir buckles and falls awkwardly to the mat, clutching his knee in agony. Kabuki Kid rolls out of the ring to a huge ovation as the Fabulous Ones jump down from the apron. Jezra Wagner screams out in protest, but the referee shakes his head, and motions to her that he didn't see anything. Fullbright pulls himself up, and shakes his head. He looks out at Kabuki Kid and the Fabulous Ones as they leave through the crowd with a mixture of confusion, and contempt. He shakes his head, and walks over to the fallen Sengir, and pulls him up, and sets him in a standing headscissors. The fans "ohhhh" and "ahhhh" as Fullbright lifts Sengir up, holds him for a few seconds, and then sits down, driving his head into the mat with a spine compressing Piledriver. Fullbright gets up slowly, and pulls Sengir up, who can barely stand.] ER: Kabuki Kid's attack has left Sengir defenceless, and Fullbright is capitalising. AO: As they say... Paybacks are hell. [Fullbright lays into Sengir with wild haymakers that send Sengir falling back into the ropes. Sengir slumps there as Fullbright yells out, a wild look in his eye. He grabs Sengir and whips him to the ropes, but Sengir's knee buckles, and he collapses to the mat. Fullbright looks down at Sengir, shrugs, and then drops down and covers him. The referee drops down: 1 -- 2 -- 3! Ding! Ding! Ding! The fans applaud.] RA: Your winner advancing in the King of Cruisers Tournament... JEREMY FULL-BRIGHT!! ["Two Piņa Coladas" by Garth Brooks blasts over the PA in the Nagoya Dome as Jeremy Fullbright stands up smiling, he grabs his necklace of garlic and places it on Sengir's chest... Fullbright exits the ring, turns around and blows a kiss at Jezra Wagner before heading back to the locker room. Wagner looks at him scornfully as she enters the ring, and kneels down beside Sengir. Wagner helps Sengir roll out of the ring, and then she supports him as he limps back to the back, his face a study of anguish.] ER: Jeremy Fullbright advancing, and Sengir leaves injured, courtesy of the Kabuki Kid. Kabuki Kid is out for blood tonight! First Simon O'Neil, now Sengir, and who knows what Paul Wong will suffer later! AO: That is Sengir's karma coming back on him. I have no sympathy. That is true justice. Just like O'Neal received earlier! ER: What about two wrongs don't make a right? AO: Baka! The talk of a child. Honor demanded revenge. ER: At any rate, it appeared Sengir suffered a knee sprain and not an actual tear, but we won't know until he is examined by the medical staff. We wish him the best. AO: Don't speak for me Eddie-san. If he is crippled, that is the price he pays for his deceit. ER: Akira, you are just too much. AO: Hai. [Cut back to Dave Bacon and Becky LaRue in the IIWF control centre.] DB: And now... onto words from Valtharius the Mad. [Darkness.... then black clouds float by and a pale moon is seen hanging heavy in the sky... suddenly a raven flies before the camera. The camera follows it through its flight. It floats effortlessly over the city of Portland as the suburb of Burnside can be seen below with its trash barrels burning brightly as the homeless huddle around them for warmth. It continues its night flight as it passes over Beaverton, another of Portland's many suburbs. The raven backs sharply to the west and heads toward the Pacific. The raven seems to blur for a split second and all of a sudden it is over the storm-laden Pacific Ocean as it traverses the high cliffs and lands amongst several black cloaked members of a Karachellian Cult. The high priest of this cult speaks into a glowing red ember upon an altar...] HP: My lord, we have done our research as commanded by thee. [Sounds of the damned are heard from the ember as a swirling black mist pours from its burning recesses. The swirling black mist gibbers and moans as it settles upon the ground. Striding from within the oily-black cloud is Karachel, The Voice of Reason. Following him is his pet beast, Valtharius] K: You have done well my Children... tell me what you know of this "Vagabond". [The High Priest moves carefully forward and genuflects to Karachel] HP: Most High One, this "Vagabond" Chris Staley is much like Valtharius is some ways. K: How so... Explain the comparisons. HP: Like Valtharius, Staley was orphaned because his parents hadn't paid a debt. Staley was also trained by a master of wrestling. K: You fool! Is this the type of information I asked for? I could careless about his childhood! I could care less if he was trained by a pack of wolves! [The High Priest cringes as Karachel motions to Valtharius. Valtharius picks up the High Priest and carries him off, never to be seen again by mortal eyes. Karachel looks at the other Karachellian Cultists and motions a woman forward. She prostrates herself before Karachel as he motions her to stand] K: Do you have any information Scryer? S: My Lord of Reason... Perhaps this will be of use to you in regards to the one called "Vagabond"? [The Cult Scryer hands Karachel a parchment. Karachel looks it over carefully and then smiles an evil smile] K: You have done well Scryer... Vagabond's weakness are his friends. There is where the comparisons end! Vagabond chooses not to allow them near him while he wrestles... that is an unfortunate mistake... one that will cost him dearly! [Valtharius plods back into the midst of the Karachellian Cult. The Cultists give him wide berth as he licks the blood from his hands] VTM: ME DONE!!! HE NO MORE MAKE MASTER UNHAPPY!!! K: Very good... very good my pet... [The scene pans around the gathering place and again focuses on the raven sitting silently upon a branch of a dead tree. The raven fluffs its wings and looks intently downward at the behemoth and his infernal master. The scene offers a close up of the raven's eye and within we see the figure of "Vagabond" Chris Staley screaming as he is being squeezed by animated iron chains. The scene slowly fades to black as the screams grow distant] ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Valtharius the Mad vs. "Vagabond" Chris Staley ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Staley refused to come out, saying in effect that he will not appear until he is given a match against either Serge Annis or Deathbringer. Karachel refused the forfeit, however, demanding someone come out to face his mammoth protege. Enter the Barnacle Brothers, more than willing to live up to the task of facing the man-mountain. Valtharius, however, did not seem impressed, attacking the Barnacles early, driving hammy fists into both Bluto and Seadog, splitting gashes in their foreheads and bellowing in rage, earning a submission from Bluto from within the Swinging Full nelson. Post match, Karachel fed him a fishy snack of the eelskin sea hats the Barnacles wear, making their eldritch exploding disappearance from mid ring. WINNER: Valtharius, 5:12, by submission DB: Big, big, upset here... BL: Oh, yeah... against the Barnacle Brothers. There's an upset. When he beats the American Dragons or Fabulous Ones, wake me up... DB: One can't deny the presence of the big man... like him or not. BL: Let's just get on to the next match. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Eddy "Flap" Jacks vs. Derek Mota ------------------------------------------------------------------------ This was a bizarre match. AS it got underway, the two men who vehemently hate each other were interrupted by the bellows of an irate Valtharius, who came running to ringside bellowing "FLAPJACKS!!! ME WANT EAT FLAPJACKS!!! BREAKFAST TIME FOR VALTHARIUS!!!" before being pulled back by Karachel by his chain choker. Jacks was sufficiently distracted by this for Derek Mota to gain a pressing advantage. Mota drew too much confidence from the situation though and was caught by a hammy clothesline from the wrecking ball of the IIWF. Eddy Jacks pancaked Mota for the win...and a measure of revenge. WINNER: Eddy "Flap" Jacks, 7:24, by pinfall. DB: I still like Jacks' potential in the IIWF... going after the cruiserweight title was a good gimmie for him... but I don't think he should be thinking so small. Jacks has a place in the upper echelon of the IIWF in the months to come. And he should be pressing that advantage. BL: I don't know. Something about him makes him indistinguishable from the other round bellied big men. He's not Derek Rage, that's for sure. DB: Admittedly, I would love to see a match between them. Toss in Gunnar "Piddly" Gaines, Bear, Deathbringer, and Reiner ver Magnusson and you have a real battle of the big men. BJ: Four men who would not be in that number, however, are involved in our main event. Before we go to the match, let's hear from the participants. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ MAIN EVENT: FABULOUS ONES vs. BLACK WATCH ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ["Little Miss Dangerous" by Ted Nugent escort the Fabulous Ones manager to the ring. Ms. Miki walks out from behind the curtains wearing a long red, low cut dress, with two straps, and a slit that runs up the left leg, and red high heels. Her long dark hair is tied back in a pony-tail. The crowd gives the gorgeous Ms. Miki a huge ovation. She smiles and enters the ring. Sparkplug Lee hands her the microphone.] MM: Konbanwa, IIWF! [Loud cheering] Allow me to introduce god's greatest creation! They hail from the "Land of the Rising Sun" Nagoya, Japan, and weigh in at a ooohhh sooo amazing 525 pounds. In geneticist's circles they are known as the perfect human beings. They are a fantasy of every woman's ultimate ecstacy. So, with no further ado, here are everything a man wants to be, and everything a woman wants to be with..."The Universal Heartthrob" Agito Nakajima and "Sweet" Sho Satsuma, the FABULOUS ONES!!! [The lights go out as "Kiss of Death" by Dokken plays to the packed house. The curtains open up and twelve red lasers shine out from the entrance area up above the ring lighting. A red mist appears, then slowly two words appear out of the blurriness, F-A-B-U-L-O-U-S O-N-E-S. The cheering gets louder in anticipation of the duo. The words start to spin around in a circle, faster, faster, even faster, until they're nothing more than a blur. Suddenly, an explosion rocks the arena, and the Fabs make there way out of the entrance way through the red lasers. Agito comes out first wearing his black silk, oriental styled robe, followed by Sho who's wearing a black leather tuxedo jacket with tails, and tassels that hang from the bottom of the sleeves.. His pants are red with black leopard spots, and boots are black with red tassels hanging down from the top of them. As Agito continues towards the ring, Sho stops and spin around, then stops and poses. The cheering from the female portion of the audience drowns out the booing from the men. The lasers above the ring lights change to the words "ShoStealer". And, on cue Sho starts walking towards the ring in his now famous "Nagoya Strut". As he gets half way the lasers change the words to "It's ShoTime!". Then, another explosion rocks the arena. The house lights come back on as Sho enters the ring, by sliding under the bottom rope. Agito starts teasingly taking of his robe by opening one side up, giving the crowd a peek at his perfectly ripped chest and abdomen, then closing it. He walks to the other side of the ring and does it again, the cheers from the women are very loud. He finally slides off his robe, revealing muscular development that has never been seen before in wrestling. His muscles are clean and ripped like that of a professional bodybuilder. Arnold Schwarzenegger would be proud. He's wearing black pants with red tiger stripes, with the initials "UH" on the rear. His boots are red with the words "Fabs" in black on them. Sho quickly slides off his jacket and the duo start to pose for the sea of flashbulbs coming from all over the arena. The female fans eat it up and cheer for more. Suddenly, the song rips to a halt as Andrew Macbeth bellows over the microphone: AM: OY! Hold it right there, pretty boys. Afore we start tearin' yer arms off, I have a wee thought fer Ms Miki: How does it feel t' have these watersport fetish tossers cart ye oot here week after week like some Mimi Miyagi clone? Dunc, I believe ye have three words fer the Fatuous Ones? DM: BOMB JAPAN AGAIN! And the match was underway... or so we thought. The Fabs dashed out of the ring and attacked the Black Watch, Agito re-opening a wound on Andrew caused by Reiner ver Magnusson earlier in the show. Duncan Macbeth found himself draped over teh steel guardrail after Sho slammed him, back first, across the bar of metal. Dragging Andrew MacBeth back to the ring, the Fabs hit the Decapitation and went for an early pin while Duncan ran after, still sore from the back-attack. Andrew kicked out on two as Duncan made it to the ring, a pier six brawl erupting between the four men. Duncan found himself hiplocked on top of his brother, as Sho performed his Nagoya strut to the _delight_ of the fans. Sho knelt beside the sore brothers and began slapping them across the top of the heads, his first big mistake, as Duncan stood up first and countered a punch. Sho re-countered with a hiplock, again doing the Nagoya Strut, only to find himself on the receiving end of a garrotte clothesline from Macbeth. Duncan tagged in his brother, who promptly drew the ire of the crowd by holding a front chancery lock on Sho for nearly 2 minutes without moving. Agito, finally irritated, dashed in and hit Andrew with a bell ringer, causing him to break the hold. In came Duncan and the match fell apart again. To make matters more confusing, the Machines made their appearance at ringside with baseball bats, enough to distract the referee for Sho to spit a sickly red mist into Andrew Macbeth's eyes and dump him over the top rope. The Machines dashed to ringside to attack the two teams, but found Duncan Macbeth, loyal to his brother to the last, tackle them with a double lariat. Seizing chairs, the Macbeths stood face to face with the Machines, laying the first hits in on them as the two violent interlopers made their way up the aisle trading shots. And in the ring, as Hugo Hugo counted ten, the Fabulous Ones gained standing in an ever growing Tag Team division and celebrated with their valet. WINNERS: The Fabulous Ones, 9:14, by countout. DB: And this brings us to the conclusion of another show... [Larry enters, looking hung over] LM: I thought you said they were virgin drinks.... DB: Morton! BL: I did. Designed to help virgins with their lack of involvement. DB: Oh well... welcome back, Moron. LM: [taking a bulletin from off camera] Thanks... [stunned look] Ladies and gentlemen, the independent investigation into the American Dragons by one Ms. Brenda Hawkings has taken a bizarre turn... She has just named IIWF office intern Tara Stafford as a target of her investigation for possible "solicitous remarks" made by Dragons member Bob Ivey! BL: Yeah! Go sic' 'em sister! DB: Now hold on a minute here, Big Red. You're a friend of the Dragons, remember? BL: Hey, us gals gotta stick together, babycakes. DB: [gesturing to Becky] Steffy Roberts, Ladies and gents. LM: We're out of time for now, but we'll follow this story on the Countdown Friday night! I'm your host... DB & BL: For now.... LM: For the Grapplin' Guru Dave Bacon and Becky LaRue, Good night, and see you on Friday! [Fade out as credits roll to "Cocktails for Two" by Spike Jones.] +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= I * I * W * F =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-+ | President: Daniel Spreadbury | Vice-President: Gregg Osterhout | | univ0322@sable.ox.ac.uk | ghost@frii.com | | iiwf@sisko.demon.co.uk | | +=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- http://www.sisko.demon.co.uk -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=+